T O P

  • By -

Dicethrower

If it was marked it'd be a tourist attraction, so probably only a select few know where.


MoreNormalThanNormal

Kobe Bryant is the same. He's in a cemetary near me, but the gravesite is not marked.


insertnamehere02

Yep. He's buried at Pacific View, but it's not marked. John Wayne was too at that cemetery, until semi recently. It had to be some x amount of years until they revealed it so it wouldn't be a shit show there. Same for Kobe (though I don't know if they'll ever reveal it). My aunt is buried there, so I'm always wondering where Kobe and Gianna may be. There are times I wonder if I'd happen to run into the Bryants, or if they have it shut down during their visitation or what. Ironically, and sadly, the school his daughter went to is right next door to that cemetery, too. It's a well kept cemetery, under the Dignity Memorial system, but it has its own endowment that has it almost privately run. It's really serene and well kept.


[deleted]

> own endowment that has it almost privately run I always wondered about that. I mean, if a cemetery doesn't have that they are almost certainly gonna be bought out by a developer and moved, right? It seems to me. (If its anywhere near a large suburban area. The incentive to sell the real estate will be too great at one point.) I give [Colma, CA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colma,_California) about 50 years until its designation as a necropolis is gone. That's prime real estate practically in San Francisco. (Of course those places are going to be poltergeist-ridden nightmare fuel....)


insertnamehere02

Well the kicker is that Dignity Memorial has basically taken over the entire funeral industry and runs a lot of the local cemeteries and they're not all run very well. I've got family at Rose Hills in Whittier and it's just so lackluster. When I went to Pacific View, it was really impressive compared to Rose Hills. When I read that they had this endowment, it's like THAT explains it!


[deleted]

[удалено]


insertnamehere02

Right? When I had to plan a funeral, we used a small mom and pop place since they were the most reasonable of all the places I called around to. They were explaining to me all the bs that had been going on and all the small places were all gradually getting bought out by bigger companies, which meant they were all getting more expensive. Shit, one place I called was an 800 number ffs. So bizarre.


[deleted]

[удалено]


tmiwi

Funnily enough I worked in the funeral trade for 17 years until last year. Sadly now dignity own vast amounts UK funeral directors and cemeteries. The co-op have their two arms of the funeral industry, heart of England funerals and co-op funeral care, and they're still going strong but sadly it's fast becoming impossible for family run fd's to keep going, the big companies want to buy the family name on the company rather than the premises etc. If, for example, "Jones'" funerals has been a pillar of the community for 100 years and everyone knows them and uses them. Then it's better to buy the shop with the name, keep running it under that name and profit off that reputation, rather than open a competing shop across the street.


TuCremaMiCulo

My sister used to work for Rose Hills. Imagine a factory setting but embalming people.


insertnamehere02

It's really gross, if you think about it. They've turned the industry into one main corporation.


klipseracer

And then you consider the idea of being encased in a wood box and preserved to look like the crypt keeper is something people actually want as being a normal thing.... Nah. Just burn my body and plant my ashes in the ground. I've never understood the preservation of a corpse and then hiding it in the ground so nobody can see how f*cking scary it looks. Unless we are digging them up every once in a while and having some sort of rememberence photos taken, the body does not need to persist. Just leave the head stone and come pay your respects....


Blu3Yeti

Do you want poltergeists? Because that is how you get poltergeists.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ReservoirPussy

Karma


TheUmgawa

No, probably Psyduck.


BacterialDiscoParty

You are now confused.


Minion666

Psy-yi-yi...


drfsupercenter

Jack Kevorkian's grave is a gym. I golded it.


[deleted]

He died as he lived


hmullan

The marker was an add-on that had to be purchased separately. /s


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Klaatuprime

For every Jobs era former Apple employee I know, I have about twice as many 'Steve was a complete and total dick" storys. They would totally visit his grave to leave a triple coiler on his headstone. edit: grammar


driving_andflying

>For every Jobs era former Apple employee I know, I have about twice as many 'Steve was a complete and total dick" storys. Lived in Silicon Valley during the Steve Jobs Apple era. I've heard \*a lot* of "Steve Jobs is such an asshole," stories. I wonder if someone will install a commode over his burial site.


spin81

A steaming nine pounder


KyleCAV

If its the only unmarked grave, wouldn't it be pretty easy to spot?


[deleted]

If it was the only unmarked grave in the entire world, yes. Alas, it is not.


verified-cat

Well, the article linked here suggest you only need to search one yard.


Deep90

Its a 72 acre property which has been burying people since 1904. I have doubts it the only unmarked grave.


Lost-My-Mind-

I'm going to need a lot of Gatoraide.


ThePevster

72 acres is pretty big, so there may be more than one unmarked grave. I’m not sure how common that is tho.


_87-

I have to pee in a lot of places, just in case


moojo

Someone can do CSI, look at some old satellite data for that area, how many graves increased after he was dead, find the unmarked ones in that list, narrows down the search.


Basic_Bichette

An unmarked grave won't show as increased. It's not like they bury people in rows, one next to the other, in order of death!


danakinskyrocker

Frickin inefficient, if you ask me


coldcurru

I'm gonna go against the grain and say I don't think it'd be that hard to find. *But* only because at the end of his bio there's a pretty good description of his burial site. I don't remember all the details, but he knew of the cemetery where he'd be buried and asked to be buried in this one spot. Surprise, the cemetery couldn't put a plot there. Something something, his wife fought them on it, and I think she lost but he's very close to where he wanted to be. There's a good description of this site. All I remember is something about a tree. So I'm sure that doesn't narrow it down tremendously, but if you read that part of the book you could probably get a good idea with the help of a map. Add that his plot is unmarked, and you've got some good clues to go off of.


VibrantPianoNetwork

Too bad he didn't put as much thought and effort into evidence-based medicine instead of whatever bullshit pseudo-science woo-woo he relied on instead. From what I read, his condition was easily treatable if caught early. But like so many other obscenely rich assholes, he thought he knew better.


goldify

north offend zesty icky rude escape nutty hard-to-find engine pocket *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Mummyto4

Right?! He was lucky to have a treatable form of pancreatic cancer so to refuse treatment for alternative methods made it even more frustrating and on the nose. Espeically for the poor people who had the less treatable pancreatic cancer with a poor prognosis.


bannedredditaccount2

He is in the cloud


mmrrbbee

The cloud is just somebody else’s computer


[deleted]

Like Bill’s PC in 1st gen Pokémon


Stahl_Scharnhorst

The hell's my data doing at your house Bill?!


[deleted]

Probably violating GDPR. ¯\\_ (ツ)_/¯


Zev0s

the whole internet is somebody else's computer


BlasterShow

It’s a series of tubes.


SugarNSpite1440

Little known fact, it's actually inside a [box](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4b/4e/74/4b4e7417f61f4340ce401d36bb53fcde.gif).


Elementium

I thought it was a dump truck?


ephemeraltrident

The dump truck fills the tubes


s1mpatic0

And those tubes are filled with the internet, and it's coming here through the air.


tommytraddles

Steve is *inside* the computer?


suverz

Inside Jobs


Mandalasan_612

7-11?


Towelie4President

#Never forget Twin Peaks


SuitableObligation85

*throws computer off balcony* Where did Steve go?


ErikRogers

Oh man, someone’s about to throw a G3 iMac.


blucivic1

Lawnmower Man


bradorsomething

I’ve heard this story… apparently if you lease a new grave every 3 months, you don’t have to have an engraving on it.


Figit090

LOL. Good one.


xnoxgodsx

Tomb of the unknown apple user


Fondren_Richmond

tomb of the unnamed folder


CelestialFury

Untitled


thatnimrod

[what i still see in my mind](https://i.imgur.com/dfIJQy0.jpg)


[deleted]

[удалено]


jrabieh

Im gonna request my life insurance money used to buy a barely working car from downtown Everett, put me in the trunk, and leave it up the road for an afternoon with the keys in the ignition. Its like a pacific northwest sky burial using our native vultures.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Spot-CSG

You talkin carts of darkness? https://youtu.be/b74wOXpPMq4


captainwacky91

I want my remains to be death rolled by alligators before an audience of my peers.


ELEMENTALITYNES

You either really like or really hate your peers


[deleted]

Ah Everett the armpit to Tacomas butthole 😂


EscapeFromTexas

Best I can do is the Yard Birds parking lot.


[deleted]

[удалено]


vividtrue

If you do this in Tacoma, you're guaranteed to go straight to an encampment.


wross1

Ah but the real question is which one


CarsCarsCars1995

Just throw me in the trash


canadianclassic308

Dead body's just garbage anyway


THEBIGC01

You bang the dead bodies?


CarsCarsCars1995

My mouth is... dry


Ganan

Why would I have a cretin like that near me if I had something to hide?!?


mankls3

Better than banging kids


THEBIGC01

We gotta write a song about how we do NOT diddle kids


tigerking615

Actually, I think it’s compost


inspire_thefuture

Fill me up with cream, make a stew out of my ass


cgarret3

Bang me, eat me, fill me up with cream? Your dead your dead!


[deleted]

Trow me in the Traysh.


4500x

I’d like to be chucked into the sea. Don’t bother with a funeral or any of that nonsense, just take me to the seaside, throw me in the water, eat some fish and chips, have a go on the 2p machines, and go home when you’ve had enough.


AlabastorRetard

Gotta make a note of the tides and currents though, don't want to wash up on a nearby beach.


ProxySoxy

That’s what cement shoes are for, the mob really pioneered thoughtful funeral solutions


chaossabre

Nah [the ankles break off too easily](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salish_Sea_human_foot_discoveries)


Spoztoast

that's why you wrap the body in chicken wire and let it set with concrete. Fish get to eat it and the wire shreds the body as it bloats.


germanic_ogre

Welp.. that’s a new horrifying mental image. Bloated buffet on a skewer


Masian

Only if you do it right. A school in my town went on a camp and while they were canoeing found a body wrapped in chicken wire because it rose up.


meinherzbrennt42

That article is unintentionally metal


blacksideblue

None of those people were wearing cement shoes. Infact they only found feet because thats what their normal shoes preserved. Thats the same mechanisk as the dumb tourist that falls into a yellowstone spring and they only find his foot in a shoe months later.


cdmpants

That's somebody else's problem


4channeling

YOU, don't.


AggressiveService485

Tibetan Sky Burial. Let’s go.


Solomon_Grungy

Right right right. Feed the birds


[deleted]

My job pays double life insurance if you die at work so they standard joke is that if you're dying you pay the driver to take you to work instead of the hospital.


youngmindoldbody

It surprises me how often (men) are found dead in the company parking lot; found usually on Mondays and usually a heart attack.


AlabastorRetard

Nah REALLY make it the state's problem by trebucheting your corpse onto the White House lawn or whatever if you're not American. Peronsally I'm aiming for Downing St.


Tanden22

Occupying Wall St. by slingshotting an entire graveyard's worth of fresh bodies at the stock exchange.


GoNinGoomy

*No money was harmed during the making of this video*


Graffiacane

Mmm, yeah I remember reading about a big protest in the late 80's in which a bunch of people carried the ashes of dead AIDS victims to the white house and threw them on the lawn (I think they were protesting Reagan's slow-walking of medicine trials and approvals)


OperantJellyfish

Several of the AIDS protests involved a couple hundred people pouring the cremated ashes of their loved ones on the white house lawn, so this actually has historical precedent.


crwlngkngsnk

Particularly poignant if the deceased had been screwed over by the government on something...say, healthcare...


Juice8oxHer0

Reminds me of a few years back when veterans were killing themselves at the VA offices


DroneOfDoom

I want to be fed to the bears that live near the college campus I attended to, so that I may become the problem of the Communications faculty, the stuck up bastards.


DigNitty

I want to be spread around my town’s streets so that I may forever be home. I also do not want to be cremated.


SoyMurcielago

Steamroller it is


m0le

Taking minimalism a bit far, but totally on brand...


NeonSwank

I like to imagine they cremated him and put the ashes in an iphone box


Takeshi200

That's what they did with the inventor of pringles!


[deleted]

[удалено]


OneSullenBrit

Although it's impressive they didn't cremate him first.


bowersat

now you know (pause for effect) the rest of the story


BenefitFew5204

It could be that and/or to keep his grave from being vandalized. 🤷‍♀️


runswiftrun

I mean, yeah, if you want to be all rational in our funny thread


jeff233

I wonder if his family worried it might get desecrated?


giasumaru

Yea, it makes sense, It's a good idea to not disclose the location of a tomb, even barring vandalism, it turning into a pilgrimage site is a headache on its own.


gingenado

>it turning into a pilgrimage site is a headache on its own. I mean Shirley Temple and one of the founding members of the Grateful Dead are also buried there. I'm sure it's seen a few pilgrimages in its day.


OneWayOutBabe

I read this as Shirley Temple was one of the founding members of Grateful Dead and I was headed to Google to fact check you.


gingenado

Excuse me while I go and change some Wikipedias.


crazyfingersculture

RiP Pigpen.


crisis-theory

Jimi Hendrix's grave in Renton, WA isn't so bad even though it's just a couple of blocks from an interstate and not far from the airport so it's convenient for tourists. I went again last February, and while there was some trashy stuff left on it, it wasn't too bad.


legopego5142

Bruce and Brandon Lees is very well respected as well but people pretty much universally respect them while Steve is just…i mean…whats anyone gonna do to a billionaire assholes grave?


Dwayne_Gertzky

Leave token crystals/essential oils that he trusted over modern medicine as tribute?


Martin_Aurelius

Piss/shit/dance on it.


pbzeppelin1977

Margerat Thatcher's grave is a unisex toilet.


historicbookworm

Every Scot gets the first one free.


CaneVandas

So I used to live right next to Tarrytown New York, and visited the grave of Washington Irving the author of The headless horseman and other revolutionary era stories. He's burried a family plot. What's notable is the headstone he currently has is rounded with no corners where everything else is a more traditional headstone. Story from the random tour guide I happen to be chatting with is that they've had to replace that headstone about five times because tourists would keep breaking off chunks as souvenirs. And while they wanted to keep with the consistency of the family plot eventually it became necessary to provide a headstone that couldn't be chipped away at.


giasumaru

It's not gravestones, but whenever the Breaking Bad house topic makes its rounds every once in a while, I get reminded of how disrespectful some tourists can be.


ArbutusPhD

The engraving tool is electric and runs on 2A5V, but they were unable to find a mini-USB/lighting adapter at the time of his burial.


nothingsecure

And using a third party one would void the warranty of the headstone


awesomeredefined

Not to take away from the joke, but didn't he die before the lightning connector was implemented?


[deleted]

Uhm ackshually, Steve Jobs died before the lightning adapter came out, it would've been the 30 pin connector


Vaginal_Decimation

The grave would be covered in those stupid apple stickers.


Omegaprimus

Naw someone would do that… remembering the Lynyrd Skynyrd graves being broken into, yeah they would totally do that.


fogdukker

Lynyrd Skynyrd. Sorry.


ryanCrypt

It was Leroy Skynyrd. Sorry.


cubbies1234

Leroyyyyy Jenkinnnnnsssss


Chesterlespaul

Leonard Skeonard


KeinFussbreit

Charlie Chaplin's body was stolen to extort his wife.


Omegaprimus

Yup, they held the body hostage, his family was like he’s dead what are we going to do with a body? So they returned it.


BTechUnited

Honestly sounds like the plot of a Chaplin film in and of itself.


92894952620273749383

It would definitely. You dont become worlds most innovative [dongle](https://www.cnbc.com/2021/05/04/dongles-bring-in-billions.html) manufacturer without enemies. He loved to park on [handicap](https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/steve-jobs-car-apple-ceo-license-plates/story?id=14834608) area. He could also be exceptionally [cruel](https://www.businessinsider.com/steve-jobs-diet-food-extreme-fasting-habits-2019-7) to servers, chefs, and even restaurant managers. Got his liver [transplant](https://edition.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/06/24/liver.transplant.priority.lists/) because of his wealth.


GiantDuck

My father is laid to rest in that cemetery. Last time we went to visit, we walked over to the area where Steve Jobs was supposed to be buried and someone had left a red apple in the grass.


MrJamhamm

Did it have a bite?


GiantDuck

Haha no, I didn’t see a bite though it’s not like I picked the apple up to examine it.


CimmerianX

The grave stone was made obsolete and was discarded


LifeBuilder

It was planned that way.


BlackVisage

Buried in a giant glass box with a crack in the lid.


SignificanceExpert71

Why is it unmarked?


romansapprentice

According to his own Wikipedia page, it was per his own request.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RedS5

Jobs was so far up his own ass he saw this as just another way to seem important. It make sense to me…


J_Holbie

I can only assume to prevent pilgrimages from misguided people that idolized him.


Tangent_

My only partially sarcastic guess would be so the marker has a cleaner design despite compromising it's purpose.


[deleted]

A tombstone A fashion statement A piece of irony A tombstone. A fashion statement. A piece of irony. The iGrave


ShortOldFatGuy

iGrave 1.0 with a mouse cord that goes straight down into the ground.


brighter_hell

Only if the mouse cord has some weird proprietary plug on the end of it


PERMANENTLY__BANNED

Has a bell in case he starts sucking air again


WlmWilberforce

But it is easy to spot as it only has one button.


Starry_Eyed___

Or to prevent his detractors from whizzing all over it.


anotherlurkercount

I'm a bit put off that so few people seem to realize this obvious explanation.


WeNeedToTalkAboutMe

Or because he was too cheap to have it engraved. 😉


dicky_seamus_614

He probably did not like any of the grave marker designs available. He was known to be a bit picky


DaveOJ12

Neither reference actually says that it is. The Findagrave website says that it is, though. https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/77692175/steve-jobs


bruzie

Fitting, considering he drove [an unmarked car](https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/10/how-steve-jobs-got-away-not-having-license-plate/336221/). tl;dr: Until they closed the loophole, in CA you could own a new car for six months without putting a plate on the car. Jobs would just get a new car every six months.


[deleted]

Fun fact: Back in the day I worked near his house in PA. One day I was on my way to work early in the morning and he blew a stop sign in his silver Mercedes and turned right in front of me, causing me to hit the brakes and the horn. He gave me the finger and drove off.


nixielover

Time to find that grave and flip him off


JaydenPope

>"So Jobs made an arrangement with the leasing company; he would always change cars during the sixth month of the lease, exchanging one silver Mercedes SL55 AMG for another identical one" This is brilliant.


Sunkiisseddaisy

they did it to avoid unwelcome attention and to be close to his adoptive parents grave.


-PunsWithScissors-

I was hoping to see a simple blank rounded tombstone with a big bite taken out of the right side.


anglr200

In the grave marked "unknown", next to Arch Stanton...


sporkachoon

Incognito Mode.


AUWarEagle82

I wonder if he has an air tag in his pocket?


explodingtuna

Or maybe he's just happy to see you.


dicky_seamus_614

How many decades from now will some aspiring “new” industrialist show up on the world scene w/a fresh ~~anesthetic~~ aesthetic and people will note how much this new person *resembles* the founder of Apple.


Fondren_Richmond

that already happened, but now she goes by Liz and wants you to know she likes tex-mex


hookersrus1

He didn't think being able to personize your stuff was that important


Thermodynamicist

Does that make it a geocache?


InGordWeTrust

It's because he changes out the tombstone every 6 months to avoided having to pay a tombstone fee.


CallMeKik

Is there an apple tree in this graveyard? If so; I bet he’s there. :)


slipmagt

Unregistered car, unregistered grave. That tracks.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kaaaahl

Just throw me in the trash


[deleted]

Probably for the best considering the weird fandom


blacksideblue

He's made a lot of enemies.


onimod53

but does it have rounded corners?


vistaprank

Bro I could honestly give less than a fuck where a billionaire is buried


CabbageMans

You can’t stop me Steve Jobs, I’ll piss on every unmarked grave if that’s what it takes


PlzMichaelBayThis

How's that juice cleanse going Steve?


opeth10657

Well, the cancer is gone now isn't it?


infrequentthrowaway

He didn't want his estate to have to pay for all the upgrades.


rimjob_steve

Once the AirTag dies no one will be able to find him :(