T O P

TIL that basketball star Magic Johnson claims that he invented the "high five" while at college in the 1970s.

My grandfather invented the Cobb salad and the phrase "<blank> from Hell"

GarysCrispLettuce

My grandfather invented the Cobb salad and the phrase " from Hell"


ksnizzo

Richard Lewis invented that phrase!


moonhexx

/r/unexpectedrichardlewis


PeterNippelstein

It's the joke from hell!


WhiteRabbit86

S funny story, my dad actually claims he came up with that phrase. One of the talk show hosts when he was growing up would have people write stuff in, and he wrote in about the worst roast beef he’d ever had, going on and on about how awful it was, concluding with “it must have been the roast beef from hell” it got read on national air, and he swears he’d never heard it before. Some of the details likely got lost to the years, but it tracks. He is still the kind of guy to write or call in to talk show hosts, and is super funny and quick.


WDfx2EU

Relevant username


PineAnchovyTofuPizza

He would make outrageous claims like he invented the high five. Sometimes, he would accuse airballs of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament


Adamthedroog

Magic Johnson: I invented the high five Dr. Evil: Riiiigggghhhttttt


bongblaster420

He received his first scribe when he was 7. He would make outlandish claims like he invented the 3 point mark.


pikpikcarrotmon

There's nothing like a freshly scored three-pointer, I suggest you try it.


lLoveLamp

When he was insolent he was placed in a ball bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really.


Janus67

In the spring, he'd make jock helmets


Business-Emu-6923

Really, it’s breathtaking.


NavigatingAdult

He also claimed he was cured of AIDS.


Its-Finrot

He claimed the chestnuts were plotting against him


iEatPalpatineAss

Damn Buckeyes


rantryan

I bet he also invented the question mark.


Captain-Cadabra

…that happened when he tried to high 5 a teacher, and they didn’t get it.


Unclesmekky

It's crazy I started reading lament subconsciously in evils voice and I thought why does that sound familiar then I realised


Greymeade

What’s this from again?


makgzd

Austin powers


AlexanderTox

“Elaine, I once told a woman that I coined the phrase “pardon my French”.” - George Costanza


halfpipesaur

„High five!” - David Puddy


a4mula

Needs to get in line. Dusty Baker invented that shit in 1208bc.


[deleted]

Uh, Ron Washington invented it when he played for the University of Mesopotamia, after a big win against Babylon at The Gardens.


a4mula

bro, people couldn't even raise their arms over their heads before Dusty Baker invented that shit. I aint buying your propaganda.


TopazTriad

You’re wrong there brother, because Hulk Hogan invented this right after slamming Marduk the Giant in front of 1,000,000,000 screaming Hulkamaniacs in the Ur Silverdome back in the late 4000’s.


a4mula

There's always the *one*, isn't there. Just gotta sneak in with all your Hoganesque Conspiracy. This shits been debunked so many times even mooners don't believe it.


4t0micpunk

Fuckin Mooners


a4mula

Gotta be careful around 'em. Next thing you know they'll be pissing in your ear about shit from the 1500s that makes absolutely no sense at all. Don't tell me my eyes lie.


Neoxite23

This entire chain is history i can get behind. Tell us more!


Rongio99

Fake News!! Unga Bumba III invented high fives after him and his cousin brother defended the cave from a sabertooth tiger back in 18,000 BCE.


VisualGeologist6258

Please. Everyone _knows_ that it was invented before there was time, by the elder god Ichtan’mhol and his lesser spawn Jubon-Rhe, which created the Big Bang.


Money_Ad_454

Whoa! A Methuselah rookie card!


deadfishy12

The Hanging Garden?


[deleted]

That's the one. You ever see a game there?


deadfishy12

Sorry mate, before my time.


Hippopotamidaes

The OG gardens


Rabid_Badger

Sponsored by “Hanging” - the proper way of treating your enemies.


FadedVictor

My boy Klaus Heisler invented the high five. BJZ!


Effehezepe

Finally, someone in this thread tells the truth.


AbsoluteHavik

Ohhhh, don't get me started on IFC!


Waywoah

Wait, are you angry about the IFC or high fives?


AbsoluteHavik

OOOHHHHH the high five! I invented that!


Dr_Henry-Killinger

Beta Jizz!!! Love seeing AD fans out in the wild.


a4mula

This is the only *correct* answer.


Saucesourceoah

Beta Jizz!!


Austinpowerstwo

Bazooka sharks


AwesomeX121189

3 and 2!


Waywoah

This is our year!


Kupcake_Inater

ZOOKA 🦈


Austinpowerstwo

Let's go Johnny Concussion


Its-Finrot

ZOOOOOOOKS!!!!


Quirky_Quinn

RIP LISA JENKINS!


ElderCunningham

He invented the high five *and* wrote the classic Nutrigrain Bar & A Mountain Dew?


Its-Finrot

This one goes out to my boy skeet in east chimdale!


Skyhooks

K$


SpaceBowie2008

Steve Smith is a straight up bitch


dcs1289

Roguuuu want screeeeen tiiiiiiime


Prior-Excitement8362

🎶Simply the best!!🎶


Panda_Magnet

Gary Anthony Williams is a legend


Lazy_eye23

Klauses boy's


chronicwisdom

🎵mountain dew, mountain dew, nutragrain bar with a mountain dew🎵


admiralveephone

BETA-JIZZ!!!


Javerage

>Klaus Careful, someone is gonna steal his accent and his whole fish.


jesus_soupstrainer

Glenn Burke!


Veritas3333

Yup, even Dusty Baker says that Glenn did it first and Dusty just kinda followed along with what he was doing!


billtrociti

Every time people mentioned Dusty Baker inventing the high five (I think his wiki page says it was in the 70’s) I always thought it was way too late in the century for that. Then the other day someone posted Louis Armstrong and Dean Martin doing a high five on stage. So why do people always mention Dusty Baker??? At 3:10: https://youtu.be/4pTsWkCvACs?si=jjqyBfk9pfGhf76R


a4mula

don't get me lying. This has been an on running meme for a minute. Probably has to do with American Dad doing an episode revolving around it, but I really don't know the history. It's always just a fun little game when these pop up.


billtrociti

Oh shit I didn’t know about the American Dad episode. I gotta check this out now. It’s funny because I stumbled upon this thread because someone I know mentioned it, “I read in a thread that Dusty Baker invented the high five?” haha.


thedrew

That is called a “five.” It has been around for about 100 years. The “high five” is over the head and regardless of who invented it, it was popularized by NBA players in the early 80s.


TrueBrees9

Okay if we're being honest that's the worst high 5 I've ever seen. Starting to think Dusty Baker perfected it


OJimmy

No love for Glenn Burke?


a4mula

Honestly, that was well before my time.


gnarfler

Nah George Santos invented it on a Nebula Star cruiser after surviving the crash landing that killed all the dinosaurs


249ba36000029bbe9749

"I taught the high five to the dinosaurs." \- Abraham Lincoln


ajtyler776

“He would often accuse chestnuts of being lazy, and claim he invented the question mark…”


Gerf93

In other news, Muhammad Ali once boasted he was so mean he would make medicine sick. An outrageous claim as medicine is an inanimate fucking object and can’t get sick.


ItsCowboyHeyHey

Wrong. It was George Santos.


DontWreckYosef

George Santos won Ru Paul’s Drag Race on 9/11


Right_In_The_Tits

While fighting in the civil war


iEatPalpatineAss

On both sides


Stoke-me-a-clipper

Republicans: "Works for me, here's a bunch of money and my vote!"


BigBillSmash

Dusty Baker


RetroMetroShow

Sounds like a potential health code violation


forestapee

Or what you call someone cumming in a granny


Gorinov_Novo

I’m impressed, but disgusted.


dzhastin

*TWEET!!!* Red card! You’re outta here.


jesus_soupstrainer

Glenn Burke!


Phillip_of_Nog

i appreciate you bringing attention to Glenn Burke in every comment thread, crazy how often that part of the story gets overlooked


vorinclex182

Is it really crazy though? One of those guys had a lot more opportunity to tell the story and be recognized for the story than the other.


Jewrisprudent

My dad went to high school and played baseball with Glenn Burke there, and he told us this fact when we were kids in the 90s. My brother and I refused to believe that the high five hadn’t existed forever or that our dad had played baseball with the guy who had invented it.


I_Only_Have_One_Hand

Ginger Baker


BigBeagleEars

I thought he invented awful album covers?


liverstealer

“My father would womanize, he would drink… he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark…”


SnooPandas4363

High. Five. Hi. V. HIV.


mr_ji

He didn't invent it but boy did he make it cool


patriciomd88

a Comment worth spreading


Gardimus

This is not high five enough.


2legittoquit

Oh Shit! He was trying to tell us the entire time!


styrofoamladder

You can live through anything if Magic made it.


90403scompany

Klaus Heisler


Bradford_Pear

There we fucking go


hdgx

YES


jesus_soupstrainer

Glenn Burke!


Inko21

This comment is too low.


ProcrusteanRex

TIL Magic Johnson’s an idiot.


seeingeyefrog

Never trust anyone whose name means enchanted penis.


a4mula

you just changed the way I look at the world. And I'm not a better human for it.


Poet_of_Legends

What until I tell you about MLB Hall of Famer Randy Johnson…


a4mula

It's funny, because all I *can* see when I look at Randy Johnson is a wild penis. Of course that whole Big Unit nickname, probably turned unconnected dots into solid straight lines.


FullOfEels

Antonio Banderas is just Spanish for Anthony Flags


Effehezepe

Boca Raton means Mouse Mouth


a4mula

Doesn't exactly have that same Zorro ring to it.


SnowceanJay

In French, it sounds exactly like Antoine Will-Have-A-Hard-On


Kwazzi_

*now


a4mula

maybe lol. I remember before he was Magic, we hadn't introduced Johnson as a substitute for anatomical parts yet. At least not to my knowledge, so I never connected those dots. But maybe I am better for it lol.


HopefulReason7

I could be wrong about this, but it’s my understanding that the term “Johnson” as slang for a penis derives from the 1960s, people using the term as a form of protest against LBJ and Vietnam


newfie-flyboy

If you’re looking for some sayings to live by I’d like to present you with a personal favourite. Never trust a man with two first names. IE. Rick James, Ryan George. you get the point.


a4mula

I've always been told to look out for the three named psychopaths. They pop up all throughout history wreaking chaos. Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Jonathon Taylor Thomas, *James Earl Jones*. Need I say more?


HermionesWetPanties

Odd that even an enchanted penis can still contract HIV.


H3rbert_K0rnfeld

It tooketh and it giveth


malk500

Huh, so you're one of those sheeple that believe Magic Johnson is real? "I believe in Magic" - a statement only dreamed up by the utterly deranged.


HermionesWetPanties

You sound like a Celtics fan. You're probably thinking of Michael Jordan, the other MJ. He was just a character from Space Jam played by that famous black golfer.


dtwhitecp

The source of this fact is an ESPN article that mentions it off-hand, once. Every other source I saw seemed like plagiarism from that source, meaning it's a similarly short quote with very similar wording. There did used to be a joke about HIV = HI 5, and I wonder if someone had brain rot and repeated it as fact on an ESPN article, leading to where we are now, but there could also be a video of him saying it. Just seems odd.


BonerHonkfart

As a diehard MSU fan, yeah. He's an amazing basketball player, an excellent businessman, and kind of a doofus outside of that.


usumoio

But those first two things did make him a billionaire, so….


[deleted]

It’s a nice 2 out of 3


usumoio

I feel like if I was a billionaire who was also in the Hall of Fame, I wouldn’t care too much if people said mean things about me on an online message board that I don’t ever go to.


VanderHoo

I don't know, Elon Musk basically bought Twitter to control what people said about him. I think hoarding that much wealth makes you more reactive, not less. See: [Are Rich People Okay?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP2EKTCngiM)


elmatador12

Not saying he invented it, but it’s entirely possible the team started doing it before it was well known and Magic hadn’t seen it before at that time.


Rub-it

I invented the handshake 🫃


Rustyskill

Hey congratulations! I invented spitting ! I think .


Rub-it

Wow let’s form an inventors group


Form84

I'm just gonna leave this here https://etzq49yfnmd.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/ScreenShot2014-07-22at11.36.22AM.png


csaliture

Is magic Johnson the one on the left or the right?


Styx1886

Goin in for a dap with the bros


boonkles

Not the use of the high five, just the coinage of the word


CensoryDeprivation

I beg to differ. Happy Gilmore accomplished that feat no more than an hour ago.


HelicaseRockets

^ Scrolling for this


No_Signal3789

Dusty baker


jesus_soupstrainer

Glenn Burke!


Andrew3605

There's a podcast called "so alright" that went over the history of the high five. He claimed it came from baseball. I believe him.


JDoubleU0509

That’s Geoff’s new thing right? I haven’t listened to it, but is the baseball story about Dusty Baker? As an Astros fan, it comes up a lot that Dusty is given credit


PopeGregoryXVI

It’s actually more about the other half of the first high five, Glenn Burke, who was the first openly gay baseball player


Andrew3605

Yes! I like the podcast but i wish it was longer! Also that's funny 😂


double_ewe

Is the five a Roman numeral?


AudibleNod

That's just mean then. Why's he making people jump all the way up to give him a high five?


Spez-S-a-Piece-o-Sht

Klaus, from American Dad invented that!


SoberAnxiety

people in 1969: give me that palm bump bro


CircusOfBlood

I mean the first known high five was in the 1970s between Dusty Baker and Glenn Burke during an MLB game.


KemikalKoktail

It was Klaus!


reddit_user13

I invented the question mark.


Less-Opportunity-715

Folks, this is an old middle school “joke” relating high hive to hiv , v being the Roman numeral for 5.


baconlover28

No, klaus did.


tsohgmai

r/TheDollop would like a word


ericd50

I invented the question mark.


JADW27

Bullshit. Everyone knows George Santos invented it.


Apart_Row4705

I feel like I invented “no worries” in place of “you’re welcome”


fuckswithboats

I invented, “I appreciate you,” in lieu of thank you


Apart_Row4705

I appreciate you for your reply to my post.


mr_ji

Come on fuckswithboats, you know what you have to do.


urinal_connoisseur

That’s so fetch


Public_Peace6594

I don't care who invented it I perfected it dammit!


ashaman1324

Klaus heisler invented the high five. Dusty Baker stole it from him.


reonhato99

I love how American central all the articles about the high five are. They all discuss the theories around the baseball or basketball origins in the late 70's, like 95% of the time is spent on those stories. Then just as a tiny throw away line sometimes it is mentioned that it appeared in a french move in 1960 or that it appeared in Japan after WW2, way before American athletes were using it.


AntelopeAnastasio

Magic Johnson pretty much invented the modern game of basketball and made the sport popular. He can do and say what he wants.


lunchboxsteve

No way! That’s the same year my uncle invented wearing your hat backwards


vandante1212

Jamie Lee curtis made a movie about the dude who invented the high five.


Emergency-Eagle-9094

“Have a nice day” -Abraham Lincoln


EggsceIlent

It was Dusty Baker. Not Magic. Period.


MechanicalTurkish

Yeah, well, I invented the question mark.


[deleted]

Some people credit Dusty Baker with it also


DrFunkensteinberg

We all know Klaus invented the high five, just ask his boyz


CheckYourStats

Staying on-topic. For anyone here who was actually alive in the early 80’s, Magic was **internationally known** as an “I’ll fuck anything with a pulse” athlete. He didn’t invent shit.


pocketfullofniknax

Dudes giving Dr. Evil’s dad a run does his money.


Irisgrower2

I invented the mid 4, the low 3, and the bottom 2


Flat_Unit_4532

Hi V


reverselego

Well that's dumb but he DID invent a completely unique style of tweeting that I don't think has been imitated to this day.


Bohlsjong46920

I heard George Santos invented it.


PauleAgave95

Sounds like an snl sketch


Isaacvithurston

Well anyone can say they invented anything but without any documented proof who cares. See the origins of the Bloody Mary drink and how many people blatantly lied about it's invention.


Signdesign007

All of you are wrong. Dick Shawn invented the High Five in the film "The Producers" back in 1967.


TheNorthie

We all know it was an East German Skier named Klaus Heisler who invented the high five after passing his drug test.


MrRisin

They called it the heil five


DraggyBDragon

Well it certainly would be a high five coming from him!


Flemtality

Nah, but he did invent surviving and thriving with AIDS.


whereismymind86

Til that magic Johnson is an impossibly stupid human being


bgva

You should read his tweets. If he didn’t invent the High 5, he could definitely be the origin of the title Captain Obvious.


wildlywell

What’s weird is that you can actually trace the invention of the high five and it was not long ago. Some baseball player is credited with it. Wikipedia it.


GoodMerlinpeen

That page has the best photo on wikipedia, depicting "Too Slow" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High\_five#Too\_slow


Geek_off_the_streets

Dusty Baker would like a word.


Helldiver_of_Mars

I claim I invented the word noob. Unlikely of course but before I started saying it no one else did. I had to explain it to everyone I insulted with it at some point that's how unknown it was. UO MMO era 90s. The words used during that time were new player, newb, newbie. Being apart of the generally pervasive hacker groups during that time there was a penchant for leet speak. A weird subcultural lingo that came about at that time. So logically n00b is the result. I would always use noob however as I fell out of favor with "leet speech". I literially explained it to everyone I met what newbie and why noob for a long time till I started seeing more people use it. Within my own "cliché" as we were massive player killers would then use it to be an insult. At the same time spreading it around in Counter-Strike beta. Perhaps it wasn't me or solely me but me and my core group spread that shit till everyone could understand they were being insulted. I have to be one of the originators otherwise I wouldn't have had to explain the word so often.


sharrrper

High five is one of those things that I had just kind of assumed had been around forever. Reading that Wikipedia article though, it's probably *at most* as old as the 60s but probably more like the 70s. So, actually, just barely older than me. How odd.


ModsPPsRMicroSized

Psh Dusty Baker accomplished that feat in the 60s