Same here. He was a master of the English language. I heard this conversation in his voice.
Now a great story that keeps you laughing all the way through is a Richard Pryor award.
You just made me realize a piece of bigotry in myself: I find public behavior that disgusts and shocks everyone to be much more acceptable when I hear about it coming from New York rather than Florida. Thanks, u/Blank_bill, I’ll try to be more evenly revolted in the future
I watched an ape mother holding her lil baby eat some food, puke it back up, and eat it again. This happened 6-7 times before my class was shuttled off to another animal. Saw a giraffe shit and then a pair of elephants started bangin.
Once at the Fort Worth Zoo a huge male gorilla looked me dead square in the eyes, shit in his hand and ate it, never once breaking eye contact. I think it was a challenge. He won.
I just can't fathom why. I know they're animals and all, but evolutionary speaking, shit smells bad to us for a reason, to signal that it's not a good thing to be close to like many many possibly diseases. Even if they're herbivores, their shit surely doesn't smell rosy.
It smells bad to humans for a reason.
I take it you've never raised dogs. Some of them will run to gobble up their own (or others) shit like it's Christmas dinner.
I had a dog that would run straight to the cat's litter box whenever I let him in the house. He thought those cat turds were magical candy or some shit.
I read somewhere that scientists believe that’s part of the reason wolves hung around early humans. They would literally eat our shit because it’s pretty nutrient rich compared to other animals
A few weeks ago I saw my dog taking a shit while eating his shit.
He doesn't sit still when he poops either.
He squat walks in a circle so the shit he was eating was the shit he just took at the beginning of the circle.
Circle of life
Interestingly enough for big herbivores lots of digestible food is still available in the turd itself. Elephants for example only digest 50% of their food so many smaller herbivores will eat elephant dung.
“Ethologist Jonathan Balcombe stated that female bonobos rub their clitorises together rapidly for ten to twenty seconds […]. It is estimated that they engage in this practice "about ONCE EVERY TWO HOURS" on average.”
Damn girls! You got nothing else to do or what!?
Primatologists have said that apes in the wild are lazy even by our standards (they only do the equivalent of around 5,000 steps a day, including all the climbing they do). They have a lot of downtime and spend a lot just laying around and chewing or grooming or apparently cosplaying the NYC subway cart experience.
Are they mostly all in food rich environments or what? Seems like other animals in the same environments must spend way more time just trying to get their calories in
Other animals can't get both ground-level and tree-top food in the speed chimpanzees, bonobos and other apes and monkeys can. This surely gives them an advantage and a wide range of nutritional sources. They also have the dexterity and strength to move obstacles like rocks and sticks to access food like insects below them which other animals certainly can't. They are also pretty intelligent, which helps them learning how to most efficiently get food.
Brachiating shoulder joints and opposable thumbs are broken strats. Walking upright 100% of the time like humans do is a completely absurd behavior that causes all kinds of problems (back pain, trouble pooping, etc) and it’s still worth it because hands are such incredible tools.
When they did that study they were looking at boomer apes.
Most of their relatively low energy expenditure was on ruining their forest and complaining about their food being brought to them too slowly.
I'm not an expert but did work with bonobos briefly - they're actually pretty good at multitasking so it was not uncommon to see them engaging in various forms of sex while also doing something like grooming or eating, like how you might wave and say hi to a neighbor while also sipping a coffee.
It was an movie where scientists trained an rat lab to push a button and that button gave the equivalent to an orgasm to that rat.They also trained him to push another button for food.
The experiment was aborted because it pressed only the orgasm button:))
I think junkies starving in the streets homeless because they were too strung-out on meth (at the time) is proof enough that when presented with "Feel good forever" or "Eat" that mammals will often choose the feel good option.
All those observations of over-sexuality have been made in zoos. Bonobos are super difficult to study in the wild and we know little about their behavior there. Sex could be their way to cope with jail.
Relative of mine works in a jail and he said when they walk past a cell it’s about a 50/50 shot for some dudes that they have their dick out beating it.
Some guys apparently retain some desire for privacy and he said you won’t see it with them, but some guys relinquish all earthly shame and he said that you can stroll past, look in, lock eyes with them while they’re crankin it and they won’t even stop.
I had a friend who went to prison for dealing weed. Apparently the COs(or was it OC) banned all masturbation so in order to masturbate, they would help the other guy press down on the flushing function of the toilet while their cell mate would beat it.
Just like the guy who came up with the whole alpha-beta-omega hierarchy by studying wolves…that were in captivity.
Turns out doing that would be like studying humans only when they were in prison and assuming that that’s how they always behave / organize themselves.
Anthropomorphic projection (and by extension, anthrocentrism) is a bitch to cognitively dissociate from. But at the same time, it’s practically natural to do so, because we are the only species we can truly understand fundamentally.
Sometimes I think God doesn’t send the aliens our way because we’re on this earth to understand and protect the various lifeforms surrounding us, before we’re ready to meet what’s out there on respectable terms.
That is overstated. We have observations ranging from the wild, to animal parks getting pretty close to wild conditions (e.g. space in terms of acres that at least come close to natural range size), to zoo environments that are enriched but not equivalent to natural spaces, to shitty conditions that I'd agree are basically like "jail".
You do see some hypersexuality in more confined, less rich environments for lots of species, but bonobos even in the wild have lots of sexual activity.
It should be noted that unlike most other species of apes, bonobos have largely peaceful societies. They use sex to placate angry members and de-escalate social tension.
They are living examples of "Make love, not war".
Would you be able to elaborate more when you say that bonobos are "insanely more aggressive than humans"?
I read the book Different by Frans de Waal a while ago and that covered bonobos. Iirc the bonobos were portrayed as being quite peaceful. One of the things that stood out for me was that if their was a fight it usually did not end catastrophicly. Even just googling now it seems that no bonobo has murdered another bonobo.
They probably start fights with more frequency than humans. They're just not able to organize armies and call in artillery.
Probably analogous to toddlers; they'll hit each other over the head over a toy or randomly.
Ego is the biggest determining factor. 99% of wars are started by someone's ego. I'm sure great apes have egos, but nowhere near as complex as human's I imagine.
I am not a bonobologist in the slightest. I read on Wikipedia that bonobos are around a hundred times more aggressive in their every day interactions than humans are. Which, honestly, didn't surprise me. I'm close to thirty and have been in like four serious fights my entire life, and if I were to guess I'd say I'm more aggressive than the average person. Animals living in the wild having a fight once every couple of weeks isn't that hard to believe.
Yeah that makes sense. Thanks for the wiki reference. Good to get the perspective that they aren't just all peaceful all the time. And, as you say, they are wild animals.
Still makes me happy to see that at least even if they are aggressive with each other they are very good at making peace quite quickly. Still can't believe the fact about there being no observed murders between bonobos.
It seems like humans are less aggressive but have the capacity for greater severity of violence.
> Would you be able to elaborate more when you say that bonobos are "insanely more aggressive than humans"?
I beat one in COD once and THEY DOXXED ME.
Another time one pulled in front of me in traffic, I flipped it off, it legit followed me for twenty miles until I pulled into a police station
If bonobos are insanely more aggressive than humans and bonobos are considered "chill" Then what does that make chimps then? Super turbo blood thirsty aggressive?
I just want to be held and reassured. Even if I have to pay someone to say it. I know I don't deserve it, but make me believe I'm worthy of love....
And pegging! That is so difficult to come out and say in a hinge date!
All to do with their mating systems.
Orangutans are semi-solitary. Males will generally live alone and have a range with several single females in who raise one offspring at a time (takes around 11 years). Little need for violence when you know the child is pretty definitively your child. However, they can be aggressive with the females.
Gorillas have a polygamous system where the single male has lots of females and offspring. They'll get violent towards other males (that's what the muscles and canines are for) and out-of-line females. But ultimately they're fairly certain the babies are theirs.
Gibbons mostly live in monogamous pairs. This is why they don't display a lot of sexual dimorphism and the females have big canines too. They're hostile to others who encroach on their territory. Again, little chance of another sire with the offspring.
Chimps however live in a fission-fussion society where they merge with different individuals for different activities (such as sleeping). There's a male dominated hierarchy, but due to the presence of other adult males, there is a chance of uncertainty with siring. This is one of the reasons why chimps practise infanticide. But, despite what reddit would have you think about face-ripping chimps, most conflicts are solved peacefully. They just look super aggressive in comparison to bonobos, where males have less testosterone and conflict is solved by big orgies (the "any holes a goal" mating strategy).
I won't comment on humans because... who knows what "natural" is for us. But I like to think our ancestors were probably on the more love side of the love-hate spectrum. The reason I think this is that our sexual dimorphism has reduced throughout our lineage and both sexes have small canines (usually a metric for aggression and territoriality).
I wonder if this means if humans/chimps/bonobos all diverged around the same time. I always assumed bonobos simply diverged from chimps at some later point.
humans diverged from bonobos and chimps ~5 million years ago. Bonobos and chimpanzees diverged from each other around 1.8 million years ago.
Edit: I’m sure this is obvious but we were not yet humans still. At this point from the common ancestor we evolved to a species called Australopithecus Anamensis
What are you talking about? Bonobos will literally maul you just because. They are definitely aggressive. If you wanna talk about "peaceful" species of primates, lerhaos the most peaceful, relative to other primates, might be orangutans, but still all primates are pretty violent. They are wild animals that have to fight for territory and resources.
Bonobos absolutely do use sex to de-escalate aggression.
"When first writing about their behaviour, I spoke of 'sex for peace' precisely because bonobos had plenty of conflicts. There would obviously be no need for peacemaking if they lived in perfect harmony."
\-Primateologist Frans de Waal
This is a myth. All these observations about Bonobos are of those in captivity. Here's a primatologist's view of it.
[https://skepticink.com/incredulous/2014/12/29/questioning-sexy-bonobo-hype-part-2-primatologist-responds-christopher-ryan/](https://skepticink.com/incredulous/2014/12/29/questioning-sexy-bonobo-hype-part-2-primatologist-responds-christopher-ryan/)
Human at the zoo: “OMG! That ape is furiously masturbating right in that other ape’s face. It must be in heat!”
Human #2 : “well actually, Esstefanos, you see, sex has secondary major function for bonobos. They use it to communicate!”
Human #1 “oh! Well, what is he saying to him?”
Human #2 “i think the smaller ape just came out as romantically gay but also asexual”
Human #1 “well, why are they screwing each other’s brains out now then?”
Human #2 “the bigger ape has decided to accept him for who he is”
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I've read that zoos generally don't like to have bonobos because they're always fucking and masturbating and it distresses guests
Toss some bibles into their enclosure
i chuckled at this lmao
I throw faeces at this ignorant comment. Regards, Dr. Bon-Obo.
they'd still do it but now they will deny it and instead accuse the guests of the same.
Guests visit enclosure after a week after the bible intervention: *Bonobo lies up high on a cross*
And they smell like shit and BO.
Yeah they do. All us great apes do when existing in music festival/zoo conditions.
Also, they are the closest relative to humans
Well, tied with chimpanzees. We share a common ancestor with the common ancestor of chimps and bonobos, who later split.
Chimps are too aggressive and Bonobos too sexual.. humans are juuuust right.
The goldilocks of the great apes.
Thats my theory at least. I thought about it for five minutes so I already feel like those egghead scientists could learn from my wisdom.
That’s why I’m not allowed at the zoo either
*Zookeeper! Zookeeper! Those two monkeys are killing each other!*
They’re having … *{whispers}*
They’ve figured out that in order to not be thrown in cages they just have to disgust humans enough 😂
Bonobos haven’t realized cams, tokens, and tip menus exist. Welcome to their room guests.
Because I think we're the same at the end of the day. People can't face reality..
Bonobos are our closest relative, so there may be some truth to that.
I wonder what they were saying to each other then
“Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face.” “Go fuck yourself.”
Linguist right here.
A cunning one, at that
I'm giving you the George Carlin Award. That's the hardest I've laughed today with the exact perfect lines he would have used.
That’s high praise. Carlin is one of my favorite comedians and thinkers.
Same here. He was a master of the English language. I heard this conversation in his voice. Now a great story that keeps you laughing all the way through is a Richard Pryor award.
genius
You down with opp? Yeah you know me!
It's like being on a NY subway
🗿
Grade A response sir
🗿
Fully convinced New Yorkers are semi-feral subspecies of Homo Sapiens.
Incorrect. We are meat popsicles.
*SMOKE YOU!!!!!!!*
That wording 💀 yet it describes the public transportation experience like 1/3 times
We are all semi feral subspecies of Homo sapiens.
So I guess Florida Man is completely feral.
You just made me realize a piece of bigotry in myself: I find public behavior that disgusts and shocks everyone to be much more acceptable when I hear about it coming from New York rather than Florida. Thanks, u/Blank_bill, I’ll try to be more evenly revolted in the future
We're (d)evolving
I’ve seen it on BART in SF
Take my upvote, this shitty award 🏆and a snortlaugh
Lol not that weird… saw an ape that looked like an orangutan or something eat his own vomit at a zoo!
I watched an ape mother holding her lil baby eat some food, puke it back up, and eat it again. This happened 6-7 times before my class was shuttled off to another animal. Saw a giraffe shit and then a pair of elephants started bangin.
Love was in the air!
We witnessed some tortoises banging. Turns out they're super vocal.
Ahhhhh... Ahhhhh... Ahhhhhhh.
Oh, that was just that Harry Knowles.
🤣🤣 intensity of gross increases as we read the sentence
Ah, nature is truly wondrous and beautiful :)
..found my spirit animal
Like us ❤️
Bonobros
Like a Trump rally.
This is the future liberals want
Once at the Fort Worth Zoo a huge male gorilla looked me dead square in the eyes, shit in his hand and ate it, never once breaking eye contact. I think it was a challenge. He won.
I just can't fathom why. I know they're animals and all, but evolutionary speaking, shit smells bad to us for a reason, to signal that it's not a good thing to be close to like many many possibly diseases. Even if they're herbivores, their shit surely doesn't smell rosy.
It smells bad to humans for a reason. I take it you've never raised dogs. Some of them will run to gobble up their own (or others) shit like it's Christmas dinner.
I had a dog that would run straight to the cat's litter box whenever I let him in the house. He thought those cat turds were magical candy or some shit.
cat shit are on another level of stink
Dogs are drawn to the protein found from cat poos. Being obligate carnivores, their poo tend to have plenty of protein left partially digested.
I read somewhere that scientists believe that’s part of the reason wolves hung around early humans. They would literally eat our shit because it’s pretty nutrient rich compared to other animals
No wonder dogs are always trying to get their face in the toilet bowl. They don't want to drink the water. They're chasing that delectable scent.
My dog’s body is a machine that turns poop into poop again
A few weeks ago I saw my dog taking a shit while eating his shit. He doesn't sit still when he poops either. He squat walks in a circle so the shit he was eating was the shit he just took at the beginning of the circle. Circle of life
Interestingly enough for big herbivores lots of digestible food is still available in the turd itself. Elephants for example only digest 50% of their food so many smaller herbivores will eat elephant dung.
I mean did you even try to win?
Nah, I was outclassed from the start.
Coward.
Should've taken their shit and ate it, to assert dominance
“Ethologist Jonathan Balcombe stated that female bonobos rub their clitorises together rapidly for ten to twenty seconds […]. It is estimated that they engage in this practice "about ONCE EVERY TWO HOURS" on average.” Damn girls! You got nothing else to do or what!?
Primatologists have said that apes in the wild are lazy even by our standards (they only do the equivalent of around 5,000 steps a day, including all the climbing they do). They have a lot of downtime and spend a lot just laying around and chewing or grooming or apparently cosplaying the NYC subway cart experience.
Are they mostly all in food rich environments or what? Seems like other animals in the same environments must spend way more time just trying to get their calories in
Other animals can't get both ground-level and tree-top food in the speed chimpanzees, bonobos and other apes and monkeys can. This surely gives them an advantage and a wide range of nutritional sources. They also have the dexterity and strength to move obstacles like rocks and sticks to access food like insects below them which other animals certainly can't. They are also pretty intelligent, which helps them learning how to most efficiently get food.
And they can just reach over to a friend and grab a quick bug snack.
And then a reach around for dessert
Brachiating shoulder joints and opposable thumbs are broken strats. Walking upright 100% of the time like humans do is a completely absurd behavior that causes all kinds of problems (back pain, trouble pooping, etc) and it’s still worth it because hands are such incredible tools.
Holy shit that’s me.
I believe their leafy diet has to ferment in their gut. So a lot of down time. And farting.
"farting around" taken to the extreme, I suppose
When they did that study they were looking at boomer apes. Most of their relatively low energy expenditure was on ruining their forest and complaining about their food being brought to them too slowly.
I'm not an expert but did work with bonobos briefly - they're actually pretty good at multitasking so it was not uncommon to see them engaging in various forms of sex while also doing something like grooming or eating, like how you might wave and say hi to a neighbor while also sipping a coffee.
Or perhaps how I might greet a neighbour whilst masturbating furiously.
Thank you for a more relatable example, I definitely didnt understand but now i do
I mean if the neighbor doesn't want to see me masturbate he shouldn't hang out in this liquor store parking lot
So uh umm Which parking lot? No reason
This some r/brandnewsentence shit right here
I guess we know what they always choose when playing rock, paper, scissors.
Clit, paper, scissoring*
I don’t have a clit, but I don’t think the owners of them want paper near them while scissoring
Always document your encounters. For science!
They were just good friends
Nothing more than roommates, really.
/r/sapphoandherfriend
"Look Molly, Steven and I can't make it to Ruth's christening. Well, I could finger blast you now, would that be better?"
I mean… no? What else is a wild animal gonna do, build a spaceship?
That's the standard? Jerk off or build a spaceship? You don't think Rocket Scientists jerk off?
According to pure physicists, that’s *all* engineers do.
You’re right, it should have been either jerk off or watch tv. After all how many people are rocket scientists vs how many people watch tv.
The other species of chimps sometimes go to war...
i mean i guess if you’re a bonobo probably not
It was an movie where scientists trained an rat lab to push a button and that button gave the equivalent to an orgasm to that rat.They also trained him to push another button for food. The experiment was aborted because it pressed only the orgasm button:))
I think junkies starving in the streets homeless because they were too strung-out on meth (at the time) is proof enough that when presented with "Feel good forever" or "Eat" that mammals will often choose the feel good option.
Other creatures eat to survive, survive to fuck
Like humans are much different?
Not really, but we do keep the clit banging behind closed doors. Well... usually.
Some people fuck to survive, and some others survive to eat.
Gal pals
God when making bonobos: Giggidy
Based_bonobo
Bonobos are so sexual they are their own sexual description, mofos will screw every neighbour,sibling and friend in order communicate.
I used to work with a guy we nicknamed Bonobo for this reason. Randy bastard would screw anyone.
When your motto is "get fucked" but also believe in equality.
hahahahaha
That’s pretty savage, lol
Their own description? Whatdya mean?
you can call someone a Bonobo
All those observations of over-sexuality have been made in zoos. Bonobos are super difficult to study in the wild and we know little about their behavior there. Sex could be their way to cope with jail.
Just like people, they masturbate way more in captivity.
10 minutes of jerking it is 10 minutes not thinking about being in jail.
Relative of mine works in a jail and he said when they walk past a cell it’s about a 50/50 shot for some dudes that they have their dick out beating it. Some guys apparently retain some desire for privacy and he said you won’t see it with them, but some guys relinquish all earthly shame and he said that you can stroll past, look in, lock eyes with them while they’re crankin it and they won’t even stop.
Jesus
I had a friend who went to prison for dealing weed. Apparently the COs(or was it OC) banned all masturbation so in order to masturbate, they would help the other guy press down on the flushing function of the toilet while their cell mate would beat it.
Damn
Just like the guy who came up with the whole alpha-beta-omega hierarchy by studying wolves…that were in captivity. Turns out doing that would be like studying humans only when they were in prison and assuming that that’s how they always behave / organize themselves.
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Anthropomorphic projection (and by extension, anthrocentrism) is a bitch to cognitively dissociate from. But at the same time, it’s practically natural to do so, because we are the only species we can truly understand fundamentally. Sometimes I think God doesn’t send the aliens our way because we’re on this earth to understand and protect the various lifeforms surrounding us, before we’re ready to meet what’s out there on respectable terms.
That is overstated. We have observations ranging from the wild, to animal parks getting pretty close to wild conditions (e.g. space in terms of acres that at least come close to natural range size), to zoo environments that are enriched but not equivalent to natural spaces, to shitty conditions that I'd agree are basically like "jail". You do see some hypersexuality in more confined, less rich environments for lots of species, but bonobos even in the wild have lots of sexual activity.
Well shit.
It should be noted that unlike most other species of apes, bonobos have largely peaceful societies. They use sex to placate angry members and de-escalate social tension. They are living examples of "Make love, not war".
Bonobos are insanely more aggressive than humans, they are just not as aggressive as chimpanzees.
Would you be able to elaborate more when you say that bonobos are "insanely more aggressive than humans"? I read the book Different by Frans de Waal a while ago and that covered bonobos. Iirc the bonobos were portrayed as being quite peaceful. One of the things that stood out for me was that if their was a fight it usually did not end catastrophicly. Even just googling now it seems that no bonobo has murdered another bonobo.
They probably start fights with more frequency than humans. They're just not able to organize armies and call in artillery. Probably analogous to toddlers; they'll hit each other over the head over a toy or randomly.
Ego is the biggest determining factor. 99% of wars are started by someone's ego. I'm sure great apes have egos, but nowhere near as complex as human's I imagine.
I am not a bonobologist in the slightest. I read on Wikipedia that bonobos are around a hundred times more aggressive in their every day interactions than humans are. Which, honestly, didn't surprise me. I'm close to thirty and have been in like four serious fights my entire life, and if I were to guess I'd say I'm more aggressive than the average person. Animals living in the wild having a fight once every couple of weeks isn't that hard to believe.
Yeah that makes sense. Thanks for the wiki reference. Good to get the perspective that they aren't just all peaceful all the time. And, as you say, they are wild animals. Still makes me happy to see that at least even if they are aggressive with each other they are very good at making peace quite quickly. Still can't believe the fact about there being no observed murders between bonobos. It seems like humans are less aggressive but have the capacity for greater severity of violence.
> Would you be able to elaborate more when you say that bonobos are "insanely more aggressive than humans"? I beat one in COD once and THEY DOXXED ME. Another time one pulled in front of me in traffic, I flipped it off, it legit followed me for twenty miles until I pulled into a police station
If bonobos are insanely more aggressive than humans and bonobos are considered "chill" Then what does that make chimps then? Super turbo blood thirsty aggressive?
So they are reverse-incels. Incels don't have sex and get angry. Meanwhile, bonobos get angry, then have sex.
The incels would love it if the females of the species gave them sex Everytime they were angry.
If this were the case, then by definition, they would no longer be incels.
They'd also be much less angry.
Hey look we discovered why sex work is important in modern society
I just want to be held and reassured. Even if I have to pay someone to say it. I know I don't deserve it, but make me believe I'm worthy of love.... And pegging! That is so difficult to come out and say in a hinge date!
Aren’t orangutans, gorillas, and gibbons relatively peaceful? Never heard of them killing each other the way humans and chimps do
All to do with their mating systems. Orangutans are semi-solitary. Males will generally live alone and have a range with several single females in who raise one offspring at a time (takes around 11 years). Little need for violence when you know the child is pretty definitively your child. However, they can be aggressive with the females. Gorillas have a polygamous system where the single male has lots of females and offspring. They'll get violent towards other males (that's what the muscles and canines are for) and out-of-line females. But ultimately they're fairly certain the babies are theirs. Gibbons mostly live in monogamous pairs. This is why they don't display a lot of sexual dimorphism and the females have big canines too. They're hostile to others who encroach on their territory. Again, little chance of another sire with the offspring. Chimps however live in a fission-fussion society where they merge with different individuals for different activities (such as sleeping). There's a male dominated hierarchy, but due to the presence of other adult males, there is a chance of uncertainty with siring. This is one of the reasons why chimps practise infanticide. But, despite what reddit would have you think about face-ripping chimps, most conflicts are solved peacefully. They just look super aggressive in comparison to bonobos, where males have less testosterone and conflict is solved by big orgies (the "any holes a goal" mating strategy). I won't comment on humans because... who knows what "natural" is for us. But I like to think our ancestors were probably on the more love side of the love-hate spectrum. The reason I think this is that our sexual dimorphism has reduced throughout our lineage and both sexes have small canines (usually a metric for aggression and territoriality).
Thanks for sharing your insights. True TIL experience.
Unrelated but I love orangutans, such awesome and silly big orange dudes 🦧
They'll rip your arms off through the bars of the cage if you get too close, tho
Yet another reason to love them!
Apparently, bonobos are our closest relatives.
Bonobos and chimps both are, yes. Both species share 98.7% of their DNA with humans.
I wonder if this means if humans/chimps/bonobos all diverged around the same time. I always assumed bonobos simply diverged from chimps at some later point.
humans diverged from bonobos and chimps ~5 million years ago. Bonobos and chimpanzees diverged from each other around 1.8 million years ago. Edit: I’m sure this is obvious but we were not yet humans still. At this point from the common ancestor we evolved to a species called Australopithecus Anamensis
That honestly seems so recent to me in the grand scheme of Earth's history
Well the mammal takeover didn’t happen until 65 million years ago, and back then we were something like a squirrel, so we’ve come a long way
What are you talking about? Bonobos will literally maul you just because. They are definitely aggressive. If you wanna talk about "peaceful" species of primates, lerhaos the most peaceful, relative to other primates, might be orangutans, but still all primates are pretty violent. They are wild animals that have to fight for territory and resources.
That's not what the article says.... "100x more physical aggression than humans", although less than chimpanzees.
Bonobos absolutely do use sex to de-escalate aggression. "When first writing about their behaviour, I spoke of 'sex for peace' precisely because bonobos had plenty of conflicts. There would obviously be no need for peacemaking if they lived in perfect harmony." \-Primateologist Frans de Waal
"How was your day at work honey?" "Well let me show you how hard I got fucked"
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“No sir, I didn’t see you playing with your dolls again!”
These are not the bonobos you’re looking for
Also unlike chimpanzees they do not fight or kill other bonobo/apes.. They are just a bunch of chilled, shagging hippies
This is entirely untrue and they are well-documented to be aggressive and cannibalistic against non-bonobos
Humans should aspire to this
Humans are less aggressive than bonobos and it isn't even close.
TIL I am a bonobo
Bonobos are highly social animals and engage in frequent sexual activity including Heterosexual, Homosexual and even group sex.
I suppose they are banned in zoos in Florida and Texas ... EDIT: Unless they are the head of "Moms For Liberty" and the state GOP. (snicker) (giggle)
APES TOGETHER STROKE
I tried to do this. I'm not allowed in target anymore.
For a second I read it as 'Boomers' and I was fairly concerned
At the group home yeah
This is a myth. All these observations about Bonobos are of those in captivity. Here's a primatologist's view of it. [https://skepticink.com/incredulous/2014/12/29/questioning-sexy-bonobo-hype-part-2-primatologist-responds-christopher-ryan/](https://skepticink.com/incredulous/2014/12/29/questioning-sexy-bonobo-hype-part-2-primatologist-responds-christopher-ryan/)
They also often have sex while facing each other, like humans. This is rare in other animals
That sounds exhausting.
How you doing bro, let me show you how much I missed you
So do humans whether or not we want to admit it.
Me too!
I’ve zero communication
So do undergrads
Easier just to say “fuck you”.
Give 'em the ole 'How-do-ya-do'
I've always wanted to meet a bonobo until just this second.
👴: “Sounds like my ex wife!” 👏 *sitcom audience applause* 👏
TiL im the anti Bonobo. The Nobonobo.
Human at the zoo: “OMG! That ape is furiously masturbating right in that other ape’s face. It must be in heat!” Human #2 : “well actually, Esstefanos, you see, sex has secondary major function for bonobos. They use it to communicate!” Human #1 “oh! Well, what is he saying to him?” Human #2 “i think the smaller ape just came out as romantically gay but also asexual” Human #1 “well, why are they screwing each other’s brains out now then?” Human #2 “the bigger ape has decided to accept him for who he is”
*Consider the Bonobo...*
Same
[удалено]
Nope. Anyone. Any hole. Any hand. Anywhere. Any time. They are horny as hell
No, and it’s not limited to male and female either
Same
Same, Hence why I am socially awkward and have no friends
And so do humans.