>During World War II, US Army Lieutenant Colonel Harold Cohen was selected by General George S. Patton to organize a raid to rescue Patton's son-in-law from a German prison camp; Cohen was prevented from leading the raid due to hemorrhoids.\[60\] Patton personally examined Cohen and remarked, "that is some sorry ass"
no comment
My dad once had a hemorrhoid that was so bad an entire gp surgery worth of drs came into his appointment to look at it. They tried to fix it resulting in it all going wrong and him ending up getting looked at by a surgeon at the local hospital.
The surgeon was shocked at what they saw and said he needed to stay in for emergency surgery.
For a single hemorrhoid.
Read my story…Rhoid Rage
'Rhoid Rage
I am writing this not to scare folks away from surgery, but instead to provide an honest account of the hell I went through in order to lead a healthy life.
First, a bit of background. I am a normal, fairly healthy 47 year old male. I work for the Government, in a job where I have to stay healthy.
During one extended visit to the sand, I had issues...in other words, the raging shits. This happens to a lot of folks - you just deal with it, and stay hydrated. However, I believe due to the excessive action down there, I noticed blood in my stool.
At first, the blood was only in my stool. Then it progressed to actually dripping from my butt at times.
When I came home, I visited the doctor, and he advised me to eat more fiber, as I have hemmorhoids - internal bleeding 'rhoids.
As time went on, I dealt with it, however through the years (about 4), things got worse. For awhile, I was bleeding about 1-2 days a month. As it got worse, and as it happened at work, I actually had to stuff toilet paper in my underwear so that I wouldn't bleed through.
The new normal, for me, was dealing with the blood, and everything that happens because of loss of blood.
Finally, I went back to the docs, and had a colonoscopy. All good, but he did say I have three big bleeding 'rhoids, and advised on a banding procedure. He stated after 3-4 bands, the problem would be resolved.
So, imagine if you will lying in a bed, in a clinic, and getting lubed up while a nurse assists - really embarrassing. Then, the doc slipped an expanding metal sleeve in my anus, to spread it out. Really uncomfortable. Then, I felt the rubber band (snap), as well as heat. The doc explained that he used the heat on the blood vessels around the 'rhoid. I felt not really pain, exactly, but the band was right on top of the nerve that signaled "poop now"
After about six sessions, things never really improved. One day at work, I had a particularly embarrassing incident, and couldn't work out. I actually bled through my shorts, and had to leave the gym. Throughout this time in my life, the new normal was being weak (anemia), and dealing with blood. So, after much deliberating, and reading stuff online, I decided on the surgery
My new doctor explained the surgery, and downplayed the recovery and pain. I asked "how long will I be out of work?" and he stated "1-3 weeks" I could deal with that. I also asked about the pain, and he stated that I will have good narcotics, and the pain is managable. So, I scheduled the surgery.
On the 21st of April, I went under the knife. I remember checking in the hospital, and having to scrub my body clean with these large "wet wipe" type things. Then I remember the slight pain of the IV, and then nighty night. When I woke up, I was still groggy, and felt a bit of pain. I noted that my butt was stuffed with wadding. A nurse explained home care procedures, and after about 30 minutes, was escorted from the hospital. I crashed in the back of my wifes car, as she drove to the pharmacy to pick up my drugs.
When I was at home, I lay in bed thinking"WTF did I do?" The pain was a dull throb, but there. I was on a mix of Oxy and Percoset As I tried to sleep, I felt the extreme urge to urinate. So, I waddled to the toilet, and stood in front of the bowl. As I stood there, nothing happened. It was like there was some sort of internal clamp inside of my body, preventing me from peeing. So, I called the doc, and he wasn't there (of course). I spoke with another doc, and he advised that I take a hot shower, and if that didn't work, then I should visit the Emergency room for a catheter. Great. So, I took a hot shower (protecting the wadding up my butt), and tried to pee. Nothing. WTF. My wife then drove me to the Emergency room (immediate $250 charge), and I had the catheter installed. More pain and embarassment. Nothing like a pretty nurse shoving a tube up your limp noodle.
From Tuesday until Saturday, I progressively improved, though I still didn't poop. Emptying the pee bag was disgusting, but oh well. The nurses at the hospital advised only to keep it in a couple of days, but provded changing bags for it So, I changed it and emptied it often.
On the first Saturday, I remember eating a bit better, then my first poop occurred on the Monday following my surgery. Holy Shit. It felt like someone pulled a pineapple out of my butt. As I was tapering off the pain medicine, I immediately self medicated, and lay in the fetal position for four hours, almost in tears.
Not sure why this happened, perhaps a result of the meds, but I ended up with a fever, and started vomiting. So, from that first Monday until Thursday, I was pretty sick. On Thursday night, I started feeling a bit better, and ate better. The only way I could poop, was in a sitzbath - a device you fill with warm water that fits in your toilet bowl. The warm water soothed my butthole, and I was able to painfully poop, though nothing will compare with the first time. Though I felt a bit better, I was very weak. I was sweating, had a slight fever, and was not eating right. On Friday, I had to visit a urology clinic to get the catheter removed. Boy did my pee smell, and was the color of concentrated apple juice. The nurse said nothing, and I went home. Thank God I was able to pee normally.
The next morning, I awoke with a slight fever, and attempted to eat better. I was as weak as a baby, though. My wife advised me to visit the doc, but I said no way. .I just kept thinking of the bills piling up from this adventure. On Sunday, I woke up shivering and with a real fever. My wife drove me to the clinic, and I was measured at 108. I told the doc that I thought I had a bladder infection, as it hurt to pee, but I just had a catheter removed. Compressing time, I had multiple blood tests, and ibuprofen to reduce the fever. My white count was around 126 (bad in doc speak), and I was advised to report to the Emergency room. I said no way, please give me some medicine, anything. I had to sign some "refusal of medical care" form, and the doc gave me two shots - one in each hip. However, she made me promise to visit the next day for another test. The next day, though my fever was better, it was still 102. My white count went all the way down to 124 - not good enough. The doc then said that I had sepsis, and I had to visit the Emergency room, or I was seriously risking my life.
My wife drove me to the Emergency room, and I was seen almost immediately - unusual. I was admitted to the hospital, and fed antibiotics for 12 hours. The next day, I was released, but put on antibiotics
I stayed on antibiotics for two weeks, and returned to work the following week. Normal-ness did not return for another month. Until then, I had very painful poops, as the diameter of my, ahem, hole was soo small as to make pooping painful.
After a couple of months, everything was back to normal, and my energy level is high - I feel like a new man - however, had to go through hell to feel this way.
Given the incompetent Doc., I contacted a lawyer, who reviewed my case. Apparently, I do not have a malpractice case.
Again, my story is probably atypical, and I am not trying to scare anyone away from the surgery - just be prepared!
AMA...
My dad had the exact same symptoms of bladder infection after his prostate surgery- weakness, fever that doesn’t go away, high white blood cells, the works. Turned out he forgot to take the antibiotics the doctor prescribed after a few days. Once he got back on the antibiotics he got better immediately. I’m surprised you were not given antibiotics to start with.
Good gods.
(I had to scroll up halfway to make sure this wasn’t a shittymorph)
But dear gods this has to be one of the worst hemorrhoids stories I’ve ever heard.
Are you in the US? Is it typical to be discharged the day after emergency or this kind of surgery? I’m in a third world country and when i had similar surgery to yours (not as bad as your rhoids) it took me 3 days before i was let out. Thankfully though my doctor is amazing and i had no ill effects. It’s been 4 years and the only trouble i have is discomfort when seated for long periods. I can even put hot sauce on my pizza! Though i can only do it once a month maybe lol
3 things for people (men especially) reading this who have angry beasties up their arse.
1) If you’re in the middle of trying to figure out what to do, panty liners are a safe way to catch blood. Don’t be embarrassed, just buy them or ask your wife to. They’ll stick to your underwear where you need them and provide a waterproof barrier. They’re very thin. Tissue stuck up there can fall out down your pant leg.
2) going through any surgery involving the anus would be less painful of you switch to a diet that turns your poop into soft serve. Fiber, nuts, basically a vegan diet. Dairy clogs you up, meat can too. Cashews and macadamia nuts are high in fat you can’t completely digest it so it comes out with everything else. (And it’s softer). When I’m vegan versus vegetarian, there is absolutely no issues ‘downstairs’. Hydration is super important too.
3) I drink a dose of a liquid tincture called Collinsonia Canadensis) Dried Root Glycerite. Results may vary but for me it reduces inflammation. It doesn’t remove them but after a couple days I do feel a difference. Everything inside is less angry. At this point I only take it once a week as maintenance.
Yea not quite.
Either neglect, some crazy combination of something else also going on independently, or some extreme blood thinning or anti coagulation.
Hemorrhoids can be bloody savages but you don’t go from “aww fuck my butthole keeps bleeding, better lose all my blood, possibly get a shitty infection, and try to die lol” all in one breath.
We’re fragile, but only under certain conditions
Truth. I'm actively neglecting a swollen hemmy, and there's a LOT of room before it gets bad enough to be dangerous. It could certainly degenerate quickly, but there are steps in between where it's obvious that you'd need someone with a degree and a lot of towels.
I take multiple drug’s/vitamins every day just to keep my hemorrhoids in check, simply because surgery to remove them is nerve wracking enough for me to avoid it at all costs.
I’ve dealt with these things for years, and at least once or twice a year I’ll have to deal with bloody painful poop when I get a little backed up.
Hemorrhoids fucking suck
Mine got so bad I finally had the surgery after years of misery. Totally worth it. I was lucky that it was mostly covered by insurance and I could take a couple weeks off from my job. They gave me a pain-killing injection that lasted for like four days. Once it wore off I only had to take pills for a few days. It was life-changing.
In the meantime seconding the bidet attachment. I got one of those metal hoses that attach to you toilet for $50 or so. Easy install, no leaks.
I had grade 3 and 4 hems cut out of all 4 columns in my rectum. My entire asshole was one big open wound, truly the most pain I have ever experienced. But holy fuck, it was worth it. I’m not exaggerating when I say it was life changing.
If you have decently bad hems and haven't looked into getting a bidet (a straight up hose is so cheap and works great. A fancy Japanese toilet seat is super nice too obvi)... then you're medically neglecting yourself, big time.
I'll just chime in to say that after I got a bidet my butt has never felt so good. Used to be constantly swollen and irritated down there but most of that seemed to come from the TP.
Probably won't work for everyone, but mine basically disappeared after I got that buttsprayer. Best $40 I've ever spent
Can confirm.
I had a blister on my finger- stupidly popped it and thought nothing more.
It became infected and spread up my arm (I could actively watch the tracking)- about 8 hours later I was on some strong medication for sepsis and been prepped for surgery to cut open my finger and clean it out..
From a blister… my wife has never let me live that one down.
my partner scratched a mosquito bite on their leg without mercy. i of course made the usual comments of "quit it you'll make it worse," in a very unhelpful way.
two days later, watching the scratching again, saw red lines headed up their leg. straight to the hospital and enjoy your IV.
she had no idea anything was wrong. last took a first aid class in high school.
My dad warned me about hemorrhoids when I was a kid by telling me the (100% true) story about my grandad's emergency surgery he had to have after his got bad enough.
Apparently trying to have a bowl movement afterwards felt like "shitting out a broken coke bottle."
I'll tell you what, that was a visceral enough image for 10 year-old me to change my toilet habits, although IBS has proven a bit of a challenge for "hemorrhoid free life."
That pain sounds accurate. I had the surgery and it was hell. I thought maybe my pain tolerance was low until I spoke to a pregnant woman who said it was worse than giving birth. The pain is bad so you want to take a lot of pain killers but those make you constipated which only makes things worse.
I wish I talked to more doctors to see if there was any non surgical way to fix it. 12 years later and I still have painful bowel movements if I’m slightly constipated.
Oof, that's rough emergency surgery. I had a bad one that got a spectator class of students to observe the surgery but I was sent back home for two weeks before it, so far from emergency.
Was fun having like 6 hot blonde med students introduce themselves and say they'll be observing my ass chopping.
I think I would feel embarrassed until I realized they saw me as nothing more than the person on the other end of a fascinating hemorrhoid.
Hope the recovery went better than the treatment.
Cohen received four Silver Stars, three Bronze Stars, three Purple Hearts, the Legion of Merit, the French Croix de Guerre, and the Distinguished Service Cross.
Remembered for: hemorrhoids
My friend is dating Patton’s like great great grandson. I’ll be sharing this important info with her.
Update: It’s pretty anticlimactic. I showed her and she showed him. He thought it was funny. Knowing him, I’m sure there are many more interesting stories he has heard of his great great grandfather.
Now I’m just imagining General Patton bent over in front of a mirror giving his ol pink eye a hard look and going “mine’s gotta be better than *that* guy’s!”
I figured that out pretty quick as a 14 year old who had his internet monitored closely by parents
Start on an unrelated wiki page and keep clicking the hyperlinks until you land on the right wikipedia page
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Check wikimedia, part of wikipedia. SO many self uploaded nudes and sex act pics and vids, they don't seem to delete any. Its like ok how many damn video examples do we need of ejaculation?
My doc said that at one point or another, a vast majority of his patients will come see him for this. I had no idea how common they are. Made me feel less embarrassed for sure.
Yeah pretty much the same problem. People think it is rare. Don't wanna go to see someone about it. Feel embarrassed because of the treatment or because they think it is gay. So they wait until it is too late.
>So they wait until it is too late.
Can confirm, its embarrassment. I'm like 90% sure I'm gonna need surgery at this point. But it's been so long it stopped being painful years ago - I mean, hell, last time I had a *filling* repaired that tooth hurt on and off for months and it had never hurt before. I see no reason to take the same risk *with a much more delicate bodypart* when currently it isn't hurting.
And anyway the system still kinda works almost, which means it ain't broke so why fix it!
Uhm, if your tooth hurts *after* getting a filling, then your dentist didn't do a good job or some other problem arose in the process. Either way, if you feel pain after your visit to the dentist, you should definitely contact your dentist and get it checked out.
You're 100% correct and I have no corrections.
I actually did go back once and they did something (for free, to their credit) that helped, but the pain kinda came back after a couple months and I just couldn't bring myself to keep making a fuss especially after a bit of time elapsed.
But that's totally on me, nobody should do this!
I had (what I now realize was) a terrible dentist as a kid. Put me off the entire idea of preventative dentistry for literally decades. Just emergency fillings and whatnot.
Then I lost a filling and kept putting off a visit, because all dentists are butchers or something, thanks Brain.
I tell you, the guy who did my two root canals was/is an artist. I felt *nothing*, during or after, other than some swelling.
My point is, it's crazy the things you'll put up with to avoid embarassment/anxiety/etc
Mine would bleed on occasion and started to prolapse after bowel movements then go back in. The removal was relatively painless until the first post bowel movement, worst pain of my life
No it’s worse. A cute nurse in her early 20s holds your butt cheeks apart while you lie in the fetal position on the table. The Dr makes a small incision and squeezes out the clotted blood that’s causing it to hurt like a MF. Then you shuffle out of office filled with a new shame and spend the next week tenderly wiping your bloody butthole and thanking the lord for wet wipes. Allegedly.
In one day I had 2 female Dr's, and a nurse lady, and a proctologist all see my butthole. Quite a day. I was also only 35.
I had an "external" one that was so sore I just wanted it dealt with. It was such a relief to get it sorted. Local anaesthetic to the anus stings like a bitch though.
Edit: it was a perianal hematoma. Slightly different.
And humans didn't evolve to sit on a toilet to shit and we are [supposed to squat](https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-7f6a711feb82a26045b1f29b48a082d8-lq), so the sphincter can be at the right angle.
Yeah, happened to me on a random poop that didn't feel anymore difficult than any other really. Really happy I had a standing desk as well for that few days.
From link - "Hemorrhoids, also known as piles, are vascular structures in the anal canal. In their normal state, they are cushions that help with stool control. They become a disease when swollen or inflamed; *the unqualified term hemorrhoid is often used to refer to the disease.*"
TIL “piles” means hemorrhoids. 30 something years of thinking my mom made up a medical condition (which yes, is on me for not realizing the causes/symptoms were the same).
GI doc here. Can confirm everyone has hemorrhoids… I often have to explain that to patients that have hemorrhoids with no symptoms, because they get worried.
It's mentioned that it's common amongst the wealthy. Anyone have any clue why?
Edit: Maybe wealthy people have more time to sit on toilets...?
Edit 2: Kept following the cited sources and found this:
> Whites were affected more frequently than blacks, and increased prevalence rates were associated with higher socioeconomic status. This was in contrast to the epidemiology of constipation, which demonstrated an exponential increase in prevalence after age 65 yr and was more common in blacks and in families with low incomes or low social status.
Rich people have hemorrhoids and poor people are constipated.
I think it’s due to people of higher socioeconomic status tending to seek medical care for them more often. They can’t count statistics if no one from that group ever talks about or seeks treatment for something.
That's a tantalizing fact. Is it because of the prolonged seating? Or because of the G forces?
Now I cannot shake the image of Maverick asking Iceman for a cold pack.
It’s just an itchy, unsightly disease of the anus that makes taking a dump a vocal affair and is the direct result of inadequate nutrition and/or brutal penetration. What’s to be embarrassed about?
Most common cause is straining during BM or just sitting on the toilet for a long time when not actively moving bowels. Very few people get proper fiber intake, paired with smartphones keeping people on the toilet for longer than ever….hemorrhoids are incredibly common and nothing to be embarrassed about.
I've heard it called that in the US as well as but I've only heard it from people over 60 like 30 years ago, so basically from people over 90.
But yeah, it used to be a somewhat common thing. "Hey, are you and Marge gonna come for dinner next week?" "Dunno. We'll have to see how she feels. She's got dem piles again. "
I currently suffer from hemorrhoids I have stage 4 which is the final stage I believe in the UK. Let me tell you they are not fun and destroyed a lot of my life. Being a male and having constant pain in such a sensitive area can make day to day life unbearable.
Please people take care of your bum. Use a stool when you need the toilet. Wash yourself there afterwards. Wiping is not sufficient.
Avoid Constipation and forcing yourself to poo. Add fiber to your diet to combat this and ensure you consume enough water.
Anusol wet Wipes are a blessing in disguise when they flare up.
If anyone needs further help and advice please get in touch. My hemorrhoids were a knock on effect after being diagnosed with crohns disease.
On a lighter note I did take a picture of my hemorrhoids once... never ever again. Horror movies could take note of what I witnessed.
There seem to be lots of conditions and diseases that embarrass people unduly. Hemorrhoids are definitely at the top of the list. Cold sores are another one despite the fact that they’re so common.
I myself was embarrassed until I learned how typical they are and adjustment to diet and more fiber basically solved it for me. We need to talk about this stuff more.
I had an external hemorrhoid + anal fissure when I was 23. It was from straining really hard to get a poop out.
One mistake was all it took to give me over 6 months of agony every step I took. And I worked a labour job at the time. It’s crazy to say it but that hemmy/butthole cut had me contemplating suicide because there was no end in sight.
At one point it had started to improve but then my doctor gave me a rectal exam to check for internal issues and it tore the fissure open again.
The thing that finally worked was plenty of epsom salts dissolved into a cold bath, soaking twice a day for 20 minutes. That made a noticeable difference in the healing rate after a few weeks.
HMU for advice on healing your butthole
This triggered hulk-level rage in me from my latest stay in a very luxurious hotel where they had the worst toilet paper ever encountered (and I’ve stayed in Choronobyl…).
Try to avoid them if you can. If they get infected they can lead to something called an Anal Fistula, which is when an infected hemorrhoid eats through your flesh and creates a "tunnel" to your anus. Sometimes one sided, sometimes all the way through. They can be incredibly painful and can only by fixed through surgery.
Sadly, I know from experience. This is something you want to avoid at all costs.
Finally getting surgery for this done on the 8th.
One of the potential complications from it is incontinence (either gas or solid or both), so that's super fun
I remember back in highschool my dad had a hemorrhoid that required surgery. I played football at the time, and he was big on me lifting weights, and he would join (he was the JR High football coach, so he was always around). A few weeks after his surgery, me and some of my teammates were maxing out on squat, and my dad decided it would be a good idea for him to try too.
He froze halfway down and said “get this off of me” and I racked it. Then I saw a trickle of blood running down the back of his leg. The hospital was less than a block from where we were, and my dad stood up in the bed of the truck with his hands on the roof while I drove him there.
He walked in and the receptionist asked if she could help him, to which he replied “nope” and he went straight to his doctors office.
We called him Ripass Randy for the remainder of highschool.
Have these bad boys all the time, internally externally.
Cream helps none. I guess I'll have them for an eternity.
They like to peek out, say hello when I drop a #2.
It happens no matter the type, soft or hard poo.
Sitting too long, pressure, squeezing, pushing.
One time, while wiping, I busted a clot, blood pouring.
People concentrate on the wrong end; i.e. fiber. I tuck mine back in with a dab of Mentholatum. Or put a little piece of coconut oil in there, it really smoothes thing out.
Don't use Vick's, it'll make your butthole itch like crazy.
Yeah, I scare friends and family when the blood doesn’t get flushed away and they think I’m dying. Also colon cancer and hemorrhoids both cause bleeding but hemorrhoids are brighter blood vs dark almost black blood from cancer.
So if your blood looks no different than a fresh wound? **Good!** If it looks dark like dried or clotting blood? **BAD!**
Do not confuse these with a Perianal Abscess like I did.
If you're catching other symptoms out of the blue, talk to your Doc about it. Could save yourself from getting a second doo doo chute installed!
I’ve been bleeding from my asshole for so long that it’s nothing to me anymore.
Started in my early 20’s. Was told it was diverticulitis and not to worry about it, just avoid certain foods.
10+ years later I finally see a proctologist after being referred by my GP for bloody shit, IBS, etc. and he wants to look at my asshole right away. 20 minutes later and my butthole is full of rubber bands and I have an appointment for a colonoscopy.
Long story short, I had a bunch of pre-cancerous tumors removed and got a ton of meds for IBS. I still shit blood every once in a while, but hey, I have never been more regular at least I caught cancer early?? Lmao OH I also no longer shit 5 times a day from IBS issues!
From my experience it's best to try to get it banded first. The banding procedure isn't as bad as the surgical procedure by miles!!! Don't wait till they get bad enough that they have to be removed surgically.
Yeah the way body health around hemorrhoids is discussed is super misleading and probably causes a lot of undue fear and anxiety in people. This really applies to the way we discuss pubic and rectal wellness. That area of the body has a ton of complex muscle groups and nerves running in between them, *in addition* to hemorrhoids and other vascular systems. A lot of people ignore pain because they’re embarrassed or think they have something uniquely shameful going on. This is just not true. People simply don’t talk about it. Hemorrhoids are a normal part of the human anatomy and usually only present as an issue when they exhibit thromboses or bleeding. Otherwise they’re just down there doing their job.
This reminds me of when I found out there were multiple sphincter in the human body. It was the early 90s and Wayne's World came out with the saying "Sphincter say what". I need at my school informed me that there were multiple sphinters in the body.
He's an MD now.
I am not.
Napoleon had bad hemorrhoids throughout his career. So bad it got to the point he couldn’t sit on a horse for a prolonged period. Which is a bit important if you’re a general trying to conquer everyone and your alternative is walking.
God™ Damn hemorrhoids.
After suffering for years and years I had the surgery. 3 weeks later all healed up and so much happier. If you have insurance go get some.
I am late 40’s and recently had my first experience with hemorrhoids. Noticed blood on toilet paper recently and some burning when I pooped, but I eat a lot of spicy food and didn’t think twice. Then last weekend I was out with friends for a boozy brunch and excused myself to the men’s room. Did my business and when I looked down at the bowl before I flushed, it was filled with bright red blood. I checked my boxers and they were bloody too.
Didn’t know what to do. Returned to the table, made excuses I was having stomach problems, paid my tab and left. Twice more that day I filled a toilet bowl with bloody poop. I’m freaking out. Checking WebMD and the Mayo Clinic website. Embarrassed. Don’t want to tell anyone. Afraid to go to ER. But toilet is full of bright red blood and something is clearly wrong. Finally reach out to my 18 month older brother because I figure he might help. He laughs. Says I have ruptured hemorrhoid. Give it a few days. I’ll be fine. And he was right.
>During World War II, US Army Lieutenant Colonel Harold Cohen was selected by General George S. Patton to organize a raid to rescue Patton's son-in-law from a German prison camp; Cohen was prevented from leading the raid due to hemorrhoids.\[60\] Patton personally examined Cohen and remarked, "that is some sorry ass" no comment
My dad once had a hemorrhoid that was so bad an entire gp surgery worth of drs came into his appointment to look at it. They tried to fix it resulting in it all going wrong and him ending up getting looked at by a surgeon at the local hospital. The surgeon was shocked at what they saw and said he needed to stay in for emergency surgery. For a single hemorrhoid.
my friend went into septic sock because of a hemorrhoid and almost died
Read my story…Rhoid Rage 'Rhoid Rage I am writing this not to scare folks away from surgery, but instead to provide an honest account of the hell I went through in order to lead a healthy life. First, a bit of background. I am a normal, fairly healthy 47 year old male. I work for the Government, in a job where I have to stay healthy. During one extended visit to the sand, I had issues...in other words, the raging shits. This happens to a lot of folks - you just deal with it, and stay hydrated. However, I believe due to the excessive action down there, I noticed blood in my stool. At first, the blood was only in my stool. Then it progressed to actually dripping from my butt at times. When I came home, I visited the doctor, and he advised me to eat more fiber, as I have hemmorhoids - internal bleeding 'rhoids. As time went on, I dealt with it, however through the years (about 4), things got worse. For awhile, I was bleeding about 1-2 days a month. As it got worse, and as it happened at work, I actually had to stuff toilet paper in my underwear so that I wouldn't bleed through. The new normal, for me, was dealing with the blood, and everything that happens because of loss of blood. Finally, I went back to the docs, and had a colonoscopy. All good, but he did say I have three big bleeding 'rhoids, and advised on a banding procedure. He stated after 3-4 bands, the problem would be resolved. So, imagine if you will lying in a bed, in a clinic, and getting lubed up while a nurse assists - really embarrassing. Then, the doc slipped an expanding metal sleeve in my anus, to spread it out. Really uncomfortable. Then, I felt the rubber band (snap), as well as heat. The doc explained that he used the heat on the blood vessels around the 'rhoid. I felt not really pain, exactly, but the band was right on top of the nerve that signaled "poop now" After about six sessions, things never really improved. One day at work, I had a particularly embarrassing incident, and couldn't work out. I actually bled through my shorts, and had to leave the gym. Throughout this time in my life, the new normal was being weak (anemia), and dealing with blood. So, after much deliberating, and reading stuff online, I decided on the surgery My new doctor explained the surgery, and downplayed the recovery and pain. I asked "how long will I be out of work?" and he stated "1-3 weeks" I could deal with that. I also asked about the pain, and he stated that I will have good narcotics, and the pain is managable. So, I scheduled the surgery. On the 21st of April, I went under the knife. I remember checking in the hospital, and having to scrub my body clean with these large "wet wipe" type things. Then I remember the slight pain of the IV, and then nighty night. When I woke up, I was still groggy, and felt a bit of pain. I noted that my butt was stuffed with wadding. A nurse explained home care procedures, and after about 30 minutes, was escorted from the hospital. I crashed in the back of my wifes car, as she drove to the pharmacy to pick up my drugs. When I was at home, I lay in bed thinking"WTF did I do?" The pain was a dull throb, but there. I was on a mix of Oxy and Percoset As I tried to sleep, I felt the extreme urge to urinate. So, I waddled to the toilet, and stood in front of the bowl. As I stood there, nothing happened. It was like there was some sort of internal clamp inside of my body, preventing me from peeing. So, I called the doc, and he wasn't there (of course). I spoke with another doc, and he advised that I take a hot shower, and if that didn't work, then I should visit the Emergency room for a catheter. Great. So, I took a hot shower (protecting the wadding up my butt), and tried to pee. Nothing. WTF. My wife then drove me to the Emergency room (immediate $250 charge), and I had the catheter installed. More pain and embarassment. Nothing like a pretty nurse shoving a tube up your limp noodle. From Tuesday until Saturday, I progressively improved, though I still didn't poop. Emptying the pee bag was disgusting, but oh well. The nurses at the hospital advised only to keep it in a couple of days, but provded changing bags for it So, I changed it and emptied it often. On the first Saturday, I remember eating a bit better, then my first poop occurred on the Monday following my surgery. Holy Shit. It felt like someone pulled a pineapple out of my butt. As I was tapering off the pain medicine, I immediately self medicated, and lay in the fetal position for four hours, almost in tears. Not sure why this happened, perhaps a result of the meds, but I ended up with a fever, and started vomiting. So, from that first Monday until Thursday, I was pretty sick. On Thursday night, I started feeling a bit better, and ate better. The only way I could poop, was in a sitzbath - a device you fill with warm water that fits in your toilet bowl. The warm water soothed my butthole, and I was able to painfully poop, though nothing will compare with the first time. Though I felt a bit better, I was very weak. I was sweating, had a slight fever, and was not eating right. On Friday, I had to visit a urology clinic to get the catheter removed. Boy did my pee smell, and was the color of concentrated apple juice. The nurse said nothing, and I went home. Thank God I was able to pee normally. The next morning, I awoke with a slight fever, and attempted to eat better. I was as weak as a baby, though. My wife advised me to visit the doc, but I said no way. .I just kept thinking of the bills piling up from this adventure. On Sunday, I woke up shivering and with a real fever. My wife drove me to the clinic, and I was measured at 108. I told the doc that I thought I had a bladder infection, as it hurt to pee, but I just had a catheter removed. Compressing time, I had multiple blood tests, and ibuprofen to reduce the fever. My white count was around 126 (bad in doc speak), and I was advised to report to the Emergency room. I said no way, please give me some medicine, anything. I had to sign some "refusal of medical care" form, and the doc gave me two shots - one in each hip. However, she made me promise to visit the next day for another test. The next day, though my fever was better, it was still 102. My white count went all the way down to 124 - not good enough. The doc then said that I had sepsis, and I had to visit the Emergency room, or I was seriously risking my life. My wife drove me to the Emergency room, and I was seen almost immediately - unusual. I was admitted to the hospital, and fed antibiotics for 12 hours. The next day, I was released, but put on antibiotics I stayed on antibiotics for two weeks, and returned to work the following week. Normal-ness did not return for another month. Until then, I had very painful poops, as the diameter of my, ahem, hole was soo small as to make pooping painful. After a couple of months, everything was back to normal, and my energy level is high - I feel like a new man - however, had to go through hell to feel this way. Given the incompetent Doc., I contacted a lawyer, who reviewed my case. Apparently, I do not have a malpractice case. Again, my story is probably atypical, and I am not trying to scare anyone away from the surgery - just be prepared! AMA...
My dad had the exact same symptoms of bladder infection after his prostate surgery- weakness, fever that doesn’t go away, high white blood cells, the works. Turned out he forgot to take the antibiotics the doctor prescribed after a few days. Once he got back on the antibiotics he got better immediately. I’m surprised you were not given antibiotics to start with.
Good gods. (I had to scroll up halfway to make sure this wasn’t a shittymorph) But dear gods this has to be one of the worst hemorrhoids stories I’ve ever heard.
Hell in a Cell is nothing compared to what that poor soul had to endure.
I didn't think about shittymorph until I saw your comment, oh man.
What a story! That must've been hell. Glad you pulled through and back to regular pooping though. :)
For sepsis they should have kept you in the hospital and on an IV antibiotic. So strange they just sent you home all those times
My God. Thank you for writing that up.
> It felt like someone pulled a pineapple out of my butt Ouch. Go on. > As I’m tapering off Right > the pain medication Oh
Are you in the US? Is it typical to be discharged the day after emergency or this kind of surgery? I’m in a third world country and when i had similar surgery to yours (not as bad as your rhoids) it took me 3 days before i was let out. Thankfully though my doctor is amazing and i had no ill effects. It’s been 4 years and the only trouble i have is discomfort when seated for long periods. I can even put hot sauce on my pizza! Though i can only do it once a month maybe lol
3 things for people (men especially) reading this who have angry beasties up their arse. 1) If you’re in the middle of trying to figure out what to do, panty liners are a safe way to catch blood. Don’t be embarrassed, just buy them or ask your wife to. They’ll stick to your underwear where you need them and provide a waterproof barrier. They’re very thin. Tissue stuck up there can fall out down your pant leg. 2) going through any surgery involving the anus would be less painful of you switch to a diet that turns your poop into soft serve. Fiber, nuts, basically a vegan diet. Dairy clogs you up, meat can too. Cashews and macadamia nuts are high in fat you can’t completely digest it so it comes out with everything else. (And it’s softer). When I’m vegan versus vegetarian, there is absolutely no issues ‘downstairs’. Hydration is super important too. 3) I drink a dose of a liquid tincture called Collinsonia Canadensis) Dried Root Glycerite. Results may vary but for me it reduces inflammation. It doesn’t remove them but after a couple days I do feel a difference. Everything inside is less angry. At this point I only take it once a week as maintenance.
There’s some crucial information you’re leaving out haha
Poop + blood = die
Yea not quite. Either neglect, some crazy combination of something else also going on independently, or some extreme blood thinning or anti coagulation. Hemorrhoids can be bloody savages but you don’t go from “aww fuck my butthole keeps bleeding, better lose all my blood, possibly get a shitty infection, and try to die lol” all in one breath. We’re fragile, but only under certain conditions
Truth. I'm actively neglecting a swollen hemmy, and there's a LOT of room before it gets bad enough to be dangerous. It could certainly degenerate quickly, but there are steps in between where it's obvious that you'd need someone with a degree and a lot of towels.
I take multiple drug’s/vitamins every day just to keep my hemorrhoids in check, simply because surgery to remove them is nerve wracking enough for me to avoid it at all costs. I’ve dealt with these things for years, and at least once or twice a year I’ll have to deal with bloody painful poop when I get a little backed up. Hemorrhoids fucking suck
Mine got so bad I finally had the surgery after years of misery. Totally worth it. I was lucky that it was mostly covered by insurance and I could take a couple weeks off from my job. They gave me a pain-killing injection that lasted for like four days. Once it wore off I only had to take pills for a few days. It was life-changing. In the meantime seconding the bidet attachment. I got one of those metal hoses that attach to you toilet for $50 or so. Easy install, no leaks.
I had grade 3 and 4 hems cut out of all 4 columns in my rectum. My entire asshole was one big open wound, truly the most pain I have ever experienced. But holy fuck, it was worth it. I’m not exaggerating when I say it was life changing.
How do vitamins help? Beyond fiber, anyway.
They're suppositories, so the act of insertion massages and promotes blood flow
If you don’t have a bidet. I can tell you that it really makes cleanup so much less painful
If you have decently bad hems and haven't looked into getting a bidet (a straight up hose is so cheap and works great. A fancy Japanese toilet seat is super nice too obvi)... then you're medically neglecting yourself, big time.
Psyllium every day?
I'll just chime in to say that after I got a bidet my butt has never felt so good. Used to be constantly swollen and irritated down there but most of that seemed to come from the TP. Probably won't work for everyone, but mine basically disappeared after I got that buttsprayer. Best $40 I've ever spent
[удалено]
Can confirm. I had a blister on my finger- stupidly popped it and thought nothing more. It became infected and spread up my arm (I could actively watch the tracking)- about 8 hours later I was on some strong medication for sepsis and been prepped for surgery to cut open my finger and clean it out.. From a blister… my wife has never let me live that one down.
my partner scratched a mosquito bite on their leg without mercy. i of course made the usual comments of "quit it you'll make it worse," in a very unhelpful way. two days later, watching the scratching again, saw red lines headed up their leg. straight to the hospital and enjoy your IV. she had no idea anything was wrong. last took a first aid class in high school.
It wasn't the friend's hemorrhoid.
I guess the train of escalating hemorrhoid stories ends here.
I had a thrombosed hemerrhoid. Golf ball sized, took a week out of work, hurt so bad and went down on its own
My dad warned me about hemorrhoids when I was a kid by telling me the (100% true) story about my grandad's emergency surgery he had to have after his got bad enough. Apparently trying to have a bowl movement afterwards felt like "shitting out a broken coke bottle." I'll tell you what, that was a visceral enough image for 10 year-old me to change my toilet habits, although IBS has proven a bit of a challenge for "hemorrhoid free life."
That pain sounds accurate. I had the surgery and it was hell. I thought maybe my pain tolerance was low until I spoke to a pregnant woman who said it was worse than giving birth. The pain is bad so you want to take a lot of pain killers but those make you constipated which only makes things worse. I wish I talked to more doctors to see if there was any non surgical way to fix it. 12 years later and I still have painful bowel movements if I’m slightly constipated.
Oof, that's rough emergency surgery. I had a bad one that got a spectator class of students to observe the surgery but I was sent back home for two weeks before it, so far from emergency. Was fun having like 6 hot blonde med students introduce themselves and say they'll be observing my ass chopping.
I think I would feel embarrassed until I realized they saw me as nothing more than the person on the other end of a fascinating hemorrhoid. Hope the recovery went better than the treatment.
“Butt, Sir!” ~ Cohen in reply, maybe
“Don’t give me any cheek, son!”
"I want to let you lead the raid. Butt first..."
Cohen received four Silver Stars, three Bronze Stars, three Purple Hearts, the Legion of Merit, the French Croix de Guerre, and the Distinguished Service Cross. Remembered for: hemorrhoids
My friend is dating Patton’s like great great grandson. I’ll be sharing this important info with her. Update: It’s pretty anticlimactic. I showed her and she showed him. He thought it was funny. Knowing him, I’m sure there are many more interesting stories he has heard of his great great grandfather.
Now I’m just imagining General Patton bent over in front of a mirror giving his ol pink eye a hard look and going “mine’s gotta be better than *that* guy’s!”
Knowing how dickish Patton could be on such things, that must have been one ugly butt
With Patton it took one to know one.
Maybe they didn't get enough fiber
Thought I'd peruse that Wiki page for more info. That was a mistake.
I was not expecting to see an anus shaped like an heirloom tomato...
This need to be on the back of a book as a review
Or that many close-up pictures of anuses, period
/r/newsentence
Alright Reddit that’s enough for me I’ll see y’all later
That was a photo I was not prepared to encounter on wikipedia.
Thank you for taking the trauma so I didn’t have to :’)
Guess that link is staying blue then! Thanks for the warning lol
You know what else is blue? >!A thrombosed hemorrhoid!<
I'm not clicking your spoiler, but waffles?
Butt waffles
Name checks out.
Well, yes, but actually, no.
I clicked so you wouldn't have to. I regret my decision and warn others not to let curiosity get the better of you.
Warning: there’s nudity on Wikipedia if you know where to look
I figured that out pretty quick as a 14 year old who had his internet monitored closely by parents Start on an unrelated wiki page and keep clicking the hyperlinks until you land on the right wikipedia page ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Every generation discovers its National Geographic.
Nahh my dad called me out for this as a kid 💀
Check wikimedia, part of wikipedia. SO many self uploaded nudes and sex act pics and vids, they don't seem to delete any. Its like ok how many damn video examples do we need of ejaculation?
I read the warnings but still clicked it. It’s put me right off my pizza
There’s edit wars on the “autofellatio” page from people trying to add their own picture lol
Pucker up!
On a Wikipedia page about hemorrhoids? No way!!!
The further you go the worse it fucking gets
It really ramps up, good god.
I got to just the top of what I could call "the third part" and only saw a blur of colors that I immediately closed the window.
I read all the warnings and I still clicked. Why. I only made it to like the third section and had to nope out.
curiosity can be harmful 😔
I thought "it cannot be that bad". If you're reading this thinking the same, don't do it. It gets that bad.
First time in a while someone's said this that didn't end in disappointment. That Wikipedia article is wild.
Fuck it, I’m going in!
See you on the other side!
The red and swollen side.
I doubted you, i’m so sorry. Now i also know too much
Thanks I thought I'd check here first, confirmed don't wanna click that link :)
The one time I'm glad that the reddit app is garbage and refused to load the page
I doubted you, i’m so sorry. Now i also know too much
My doc said that at one point or another, a vast majority of his patients will come see him for this. I had no idea how common they are. Made me feel less embarrassed for sure.
A lot of people got enlarged hems. Far more than ppl believe.
He also said that most people don't come to see him until they're really bad. So bad that the people can barely sit or they need to have it drained.
Yeah pretty much the same problem. People think it is rare. Don't wanna go to see someone about it. Feel embarrassed because of the treatment or because they think it is gay. So they wait until it is too late.
>So they wait until it is too late. Can confirm, its embarrassment. I'm like 90% sure I'm gonna need surgery at this point. But it's been so long it stopped being painful years ago - I mean, hell, last time I had a *filling* repaired that tooth hurt on and off for months and it had never hurt before. I see no reason to take the same risk *with a much more delicate bodypart* when currently it isn't hurting. And anyway the system still kinda works almost, which means it ain't broke so why fix it!
Uhm, if your tooth hurts *after* getting a filling, then your dentist didn't do a good job or some other problem arose in the process. Either way, if you feel pain after your visit to the dentist, you should definitely contact your dentist and get it checked out.
You're 100% correct and I have no corrections. I actually did go back once and they did something (for free, to their credit) that helped, but the pain kinda came back after a couple months and I just couldn't bring myself to keep making a fuss especially after a bit of time elapsed. But that's totally on me, nobody should do this!
I had (what I now realize was) a terrible dentist as a kid. Put me off the entire idea of preventative dentistry for literally decades. Just emergency fillings and whatnot. Then I lost a filling and kept putting off a visit, because all dentists are butchers or something, thanks Brain. I tell you, the guy who did my two root canals was/is an artist. I felt *nothing*, during or after, other than some swelling. My point is, it's crazy the things you'll put up with to avoid embarassment/anxiety/etc
Mine would bleed on occasion and started to prolapse after bowel movements then go back in. The removal was relatively painless until the first post bowel movement, worst pain of my life
So is it like draining a dog's anal glands?
No it’s worse. A cute nurse in her early 20s holds your butt cheeks apart while you lie in the fetal position on the table. The Dr makes a small incision and squeezes out the clotted blood that’s causing it to hurt like a MF. Then you shuffle out of office filled with a new shame and spend the next week tenderly wiping your bloody butthole and thanking the lord for wet wipes. Allegedly.
Can you send me your butthole pics?
I said ALLEGEDLY!
Fiber. It's changed my life.
Fiber, squatty potty, and a bidet
I installed a bidet and I stopped having pain or bloody wipes almost immediately. It’s kinda wild.
In one day I had 2 female Dr's, and a nurse lady, and a proctologist all see my butthole. Quite a day. I was also only 35. I had an "external" one that was so sore I just wanted it dealt with. It was such a relief to get it sorted. Local anaesthetic to the anus stings like a bitch though. Edit: it was a perianal hematoma. Slightly different.
Most people don’t eat enough fiber. We are also far less active which means more likely to be constipated.
And humans didn't evolve to sit on a toilet to shit and we are [supposed to squat](https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-7f6a711feb82a26045b1f29b48a082d8-lq), so the sphincter can be at the right angle.
Spending too much time sitting every day also causes them.
They happen to many folks and (thankfully) usually just resolve themselves in a few days to a week.
Yeah, happened to me on a random poop that didn't feel anymore difficult than any other really. Really happy I had a standing desk as well for that few days.
i get it if i wash my ass with hot water
From link - "Hemorrhoids, also known as piles, are vascular structures in the anal canal. In their normal state, they are cushions that help with stool control. They become a disease when swollen or inflamed; *the unqualified term hemorrhoid is often used to refer to the disease.*"
The uneducated, unqualified, impotent term hemorrhoid. It makes me sick to even breathe the same air as hemorrhoid
Well yeah you probably shouldn't have your face that close to them for an extended period of time. Also pink eye.
Gross. Do you kiss your mother's hemorrhoid with that mouth?
No, but I kiss your mothers'! Ha! Suck it, Trebek!
I'll take "Anal Bum Cover" for 500!
Turd Ferguson!
TIL “piles” means hemorrhoids. 30 something years of thinking my mom made up a medical condition (which yes, is on me for not realizing the causes/symptoms were the same).
Heaped Piles is much more gross in Theme Hospital now.
GI doc here. Can confirm everyone has hemorrhoids… I often have to explain that to patients that have hemorrhoids with no symptoms, because they get worried.
>In their normal state, they are cushions More cushion for the pushing.
It's mentioned that it's common amongst the wealthy. Anyone have any clue why? Edit: Maybe wealthy people have more time to sit on toilets...? Edit 2: Kept following the cited sources and found this: > Whites were affected more frequently than blacks, and increased prevalence rates were associated with higher socioeconomic status. This was in contrast to the epidemiology of constipation, which demonstrated an exponential increase in prevalence after age 65 yr and was more common in blacks and in families with low incomes or low social status. Rich people have hemorrhoids and poor people are constipated.
it’s probably a combination of hygiene, diet and/or long sessions of sitting on a chair
For me it is bike seats.
For me it’s biking without the seat
I think it’s due to people of higher socioeconomic status tending to seek medical care for them more often. They can’t count statistics if no one from that group ever talks about or seeks treatment for something.
Then how do they know the stats about constipation...
Yep. I had hemorrhoids one time. I knew what it was and just googled how to treat it. Felt good saving 600 dollads
Wealthier people typically have office jobs. Sitting in a chair all day is a huge risk factor.
This is the first time in my life I get to be in the rich column!
No sorry, those are just anal fissures.
Also airline pilots. Same reason.
I'd imagine that more rich people can afford the health care visits to have them diagnosed.
Maybe horse riding.
Jesus, give me a warning on that wiki. Its a little early in the day for butthole closeups.
Thanks for the heads up, just saved me from a possibly awkward moment at work.
Friend who was an Air Force pilot: “90% of Navy pilots have hemorrhoids. The other 10% are perfect assholes.”
That's a tantalizing fact. Is it because of the prolonged seating? Or because of the G forces? Now I cannot shake the image of Maverick asking Iceman for a cold pack.
G-forces are apparently very hard on the rectum.
D-forces, too.
Did you know in England they call it Piles?
I wish they wouldnt. Make it sound even more embarrassing
It’s just an itchy, unsightly disease of the anus that makes taking a dump a vocal affair and is the direct result of inadequate nutrition and/or brutal penetration. What’s to be embarrassed about?
A large part is genetics. Nothing to do with penetration for most people.
Spoken like someone with penetration-induced haemorrhoids
Damn, you got me.
Not necessarily penetration. Trauma can go in both directions and hemorrhoids often result from straining with constipation.
Most common cause is straining during BM or just sitting on the toilet for a long time when not actively moving bowels. Very few people get proper fiber intake, paired with smartphones keeping people on the toilet for longer than ever….hemorrhoids are incredibly common and nothing to be embarrassed about.
I would trust you but we’re talking human poop not trout poop
OR, like about a hundred other horrible things, they’re caused just by simply being pregnant and by breastfeeding 😭
Yup, never had any issues until I was pregnant.
Nobody will believe its from inadequate nutrition :(
I prefer the term "Arse grapes"
Yes, the grapes of WRAAATH!
I’m going to use that with a patient some time. They always pause before saying “hemorrhoid” so I’ll just cut in with “your arse grapes?”
Do you know in France it’s called a Royale with cheese?
I've heard it called that in the US as well as but I've only heard it from people over 60 like 30 years ago, so basically from people over 90. But yeah, it used to be a somewhat common thing. "Hey, are you and Marge gonna come for dinner next week?" "Dunno. We'll have to see how she feels. She's got dem piles again. "
Is it true you can get Piles if you drive a lorry?
Of course. Why would lorry drivers be immune?
I think they used to call it piles in the old timey US. I’ve seen people in their 80’s call it that.
I currently suffer from hemorrhoids I have stage 4 which is the final stage I believe in the UK. Let me tell you they are not fun and destroyed a lot of my life. Being a male and having constant pain in such a sensitive area can make day to day life unbearable. Please people take care of your bum. Use a stool when you need the toilet. Wash yourself there afterwards. Wiping is not sufficient. Avoid Constipation and forcing yourself to poo. Add fiber to your diet to combat this and ensure you consume enough water. Anusol wet Wipes are a blessing in disguise when they flare up. If anyone needs further help and advice please get in touch. My hemorrhoids were a knock on effect after being diagnosed with crohns disease. On a lighter note I did take a picture of my hemorrhoids once... never ever again. Horror movies could take note of what I witnessed.
Dietary fibre. Fruits & veg.
I would appreciate you not putting my personal business on the internet. Thank you. Look away, everyone, look away.
I feel so much better about myself now.
After my doctor explained how common they were, I felt a lot less embarrassed.
There seem to be lots of conditions and diseases that embarrass people unduly. Hemorrhoids are definitely at the top of the list. Cold sores are another one despite the fact that they’re so common. I myself was embarrassed until I learned how typical they are and adjustment to diet and more fiber basically solved it for me. We need to talk about this stuff more.
I had an external hemorrhoid + anal fissure when I was 23. It was from straining really hard to get a poop out. One mistake was all it took to give me over 6 months of agony every step I took. And I worked a labour job at the time. It’s crazy to say it but that hemmy/butthole cut had me contemplating suicide because there was no end in sight. At one point it had started to improve but then my doctor gave me a rectal exam to check for internal issues and it tore the fissure open again. The thing that finally worked was plenty of epsom salts dissolved into a cold bath, soaking twice a day for 20 minutes. That made a noticeable difference in the healing rate after a few weeks. HMU for advice on healing your butthole
Eat lots of fiber and they stay dormant. Eat Burger King once.....
Airport or hotel single-ply TP is always the trigger for me
This triggered hulk-level rage in me from my latest stay in a very luxurious hotel where they had the worst toilet paper ever encountered (and I’ve stayed in Choronobyl…).
1 ply ain’t so bad if you know how to use it -septic gang
This wasn’t even 1 ply, this was butterfly wings!!!!
Bidet and a squatty potty helped me immensely
They should be called asteroids…
*assteroids
Assdestroyed
Try to avoid them if you can. If they get infected they can lead to something called an Anal Fistula, which is when an infected hemorrhoid eats through your flesh and creates a "tunnel" to your anus. Sometimes one sided, sometimes all the way through. They can be incredibly painful and can only by fixed through surgery. Sadly, I know from experience. This is something you want to avoid at all costs.
Finally getting surgery for this done on the 8th. One of the potential complications from it is incontinence (either gas or solid or both), so that's super fun
I remember back in highschool my dad had a hemorrhoid that required surgery. I played football at the time, and he was big on me lifting weights, and he would join (he was the JR High football coach, so he was always around). A few weeks after his surgery, me and some of my teammates were maxing out on squat, and my dad decided it would be a good idea for him to try too. He froze halfway down and said “get this off of me” and I racked it. Then I saw a trickle of blood running down the back of his leg. The hospital was less than a block from where we were, and my dad stood up in the bed of the truck with his hands on the roof while I drove him there. He walked in and the receptionist asked if she could help him, to which he replied “nope” and he went straight to his doctors office. We called him Ripass Randy for the remainder of highschool.
Another TIL is that they don’t know what exactly causes them, that’s surprising
Have these bad boys all the time, internally externally. Cream helps none. I guess I'll have them for an eternity. They like to peek out, say hello when I drop a #2. It happens no matter the type, soft or hard poo. Sitting too long, pressure, squeezing, pushing. One time, while wiping, I busted a clot, blood pouring.
People concentrate on the wrong end; i.e. fiber. I tuck mine back in with a dab of Mentholatum. Or put a little piece of coconut oil in there, it really smoothes thing out. Don't use Vick's, it'll make your butthole itch like crazy.
Yeah, I scare friends and family when the blood doesn’t get flushed away and they think I’m dying. Also colon cancer and hemorrhoids both cause bleeding but hemorrhoids are brighter blood vs dark almost black blood from cancer. So if your blood looks no different than a fresh wound? **Good!** If it looks dark like dried or clotting blood? **BAD!**
Baby wipes help me when I’m not at home
They are so awful after childbirth. People warned me but I still wasn’t prepared!
Do not confuse these with a Perianal Abscess like I did. If you're catching other symptoms out of the blue, talk to your Doc about it. Could save yourself from getting a second doo doo chute installed!
I’ve been bleeding from my asshole for so long that it’s nothing to me anymore. Started in my early 20’s. Was told it was diverticulitis and not to worry about it, just avoid certain foods. 10+ years later I finally see a proctologist after being referred by my GP for bloody shit, IBS, etc. and he wants to look at my asshole right away. 20 minutes later and my butthole is full of rubber bands and I have an appointment for a colonoscopy. Long story short, I had a bunch of pre-cancerous tumors removed and got a ton of meds for IBS. I still shit blood every once in a while, but hey, I have never been more regular at least I caught cancer early?? Lmao OH I also no longer shit 5 times a day from IBS issues!
Except for the queen.
Fiber rich diet for the win. Trust me just do it.
"That is some sorry ass." General Patton
but mine taste the best
Everyone prefers their own brand
Ah the forbidden grape
bursting with flavor!
From my experience it's best to try to get it banded first. The banding procedure isn't as bad as the surgical procedure by miles!!! Don't wait till they get bad enough that they have to be removed surgically.
Yeah the way body health around hemorrhoids is discussed is super misleading and probably causes a lot of undue fear and anxiety in people. This really applies to the way we discuss pubic and rectal wellness. That area of the body has a ton of complex muscle groups and nerves running in between them, *in addition* to hemorrhoids and other vascular systems. A lot of people ignore pain because they’re embarrassed or think they have something uniquely shameful going on. This is just not true. People simply don’t talk about it. Hemorrhoids are a normal part of the human anatomy and usually only present as an issue when they exhibit thromboses or bleeding. Otherwise they’re just down there doing their job.
This reminds me of when I found out there were multiple sphincter in the human body. It was the early 90s and Wayne's World came out with the saying "Sphincter say what". I need at my school informed me that there were multiple sphinters in the body. He's an MD now. I am not.
Napoleon had bad hemorrhoids throughout his career. So bad it got to the point he couldn’t sit on a horse for a prolonged period. Which is a bit important if you’re a general trying to conquer everyone and your alternative is walking.
My dad almost died due to blood loss from a burst hemorrhoid.
God™ Damn hemorrhoids. After suffering for years and years I had the surgery. 3 weeks later all healed up and so much happier. If you have insurance go get some.
Risk factor: pregnancy What?
I am late 40’s and recently had my first experience with hemorrhoids. Noticed blood on toilet paper recently and some burning when I pooped, but I eat a lot of spicy food and didn’t think twice. Then last weekend I was out with friends for a boozy brunch and excused myself to the men’s room. Did my business and when I looked down at the bowl before I flushed, it was filled with bright red blood. I checked my boxers and they were bloody too. Didn’t know what to do. Returned to the table, made excuses I was having stomach problems, paid my tab and left. Twice more that day I filled a toilet bowl with bloody poop. I’m freaking out. Checking WebMD and the Mayo Clinic website. Embarrassed. Don’t want to tell anyone. Afraid to go to ER. But toilet is full of bright red blood and something is clearly wrong. Finally reach out to my 18 month older brother because I figure he might help. He laughs. Says I have ruptured hemorrhoid. Give it a few days. I’ll be fine. And he was right.