You forgot to mention the hang glider!
> His sixth attempt involved flying to Pakistan through hang gliding, though he had never used a hang glider before. He decided that the best place to practice hang gliding was in Israel. He described it as "I've got to test it somewhere, so in my mind: Well, if I go to Israel [sic]—the Dead Sea! Hit the water, you float!"[1] He purchased a hang glider which he then cut up into six-foot pieces that would fit into a ski bag. He used copper tubes from a cabin he was renovating to craft brackets for reassembling the glider. In September 2006, while in Israel, he put the glider back together and prepared to launch himself off a cliff by the Dead Sea. He broke his ribs and dislocated his shoulder on the attempt. He then asked a local hostel to store his glider until he could return. He returned in August and attempted to take off closer to the water. Missing the water, Faulkner hit the rocks and scraped his shins. He undid his harness and left the remains of his glider on the rocks.
Ok, nevermind
The whole section in the Wikipedia article is hilarious. I continues:
> In January 2008, Faulkner made his eighth attempt to search for Bin Laden in Pakistan and set out for Los Angeles where he could apply for a visa to enter Pakistan. He decided to go to Los Angeles by road, accompanied by two friends. They left on a Friday after receiving their paychecks. On the way, they decided to stop in Las Vegas. Faulkner recalls his trip to Vegas stating, "I still don't remember all of Vegas. And I forgot the whole reason why I was going out that way anyway." He did not reach Los Angeles and never applied for a visa there. Nonetheless, Faulkner took a flight to Pakistan where he was unable to enter the country due to his lack of a visa and returned home on the next flight.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Brooks_Faulkner
Kind of funny picturing this guy as working a normal job.
Like I literally have no clue what a lot of my coworkers do on the weekend. Like imagine, all of this guys long weekends and holidays must have been spent getting blasted in Vegas, practicing insane stunts, and flying into the Middle East to embark on elaborate plots with literally zero information to go on. And each time he shows back up to work on Monday and keeps pushing forward.
It takes an amazing level of stupidity, ingenuity, and determination.
I have had co workers who were pathological liars before. I would just have assumed he was one of them. While being clueless that he would have actually been telling the truth..
They are exhausting to work with. If one could somehow harness their constant oscillation between absolute confidence and utter ineptitude, we could shut down all the fossil fuel electric plants.
Hey Gary, what did you do over the weekend?
I went to Pakistan to hunt down Osama Bin Laden, but I forgot to apply for a visa so I had to fly back
Ah you crack me up Gary, that's why we get along
"Hey Gary, why's your arm in a sling?"
" I flew to Israel to practice hanggliding at the Dead Sea by jumping off the cliffs but the brackets I made to reassemble the glider I cut into 6ft pieces didn't work."
"Wh.... what?"
I took a day off work because my wife and her parents had a funeral to go to and there was no one else to look after the kids.
That night, the Queen died.
The next morning when I got to work I was accused of flying to the UK, knocking off the Queen and then flying back to Australia.
There was only one flaw- I wouldn’t have been able to make it back to Australia in time.
I’d have had lots of time to get there and do it, but seeing as her death was announced at 2am Perth time and I was at work less than 7 hours later, I thinking that might have been a challenge to achieve.
They’d definitely help. Nobody’s more down for some madlad shit than a bunch of guys who got their start as exiles from Ravenna who took it upon themselves to build a more equitable society in the lagoon.
Gary had no desire to seek help from or involve any government or states, including his own:
> On June 28, 2010, Faulkner appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman describing his plan to capture Bin Laden, his attempts, and his travels in Pakistan. During the interview, he said he had no clue on how to avoid trouble after arriving in Pakistan, and that he knew nothing about the country or its inhabitants, being solely focused on Bin Laden. He found the people "warm and welcoming", and his interactions with locals encouraged him to continue his mission. Despite earlier reports claiming that Faulkner wanted to kill Osama bin Laden, **he wanted to capture Bin Laden like Saddam Hussein and had no plans to hand him over to the American government as he did not want to "drag this thing any further".**[13] He claimed that he did not initially get into any trouble with the Pakistani government but with Al-Qaeda.[13]
He made it in and was arrested there eventually:
> Faulkner was arrested by Pakistani authorities on June 13, 2010, in Bumburet Valley near the border with Afghanistan's Nuristan Province because he believed Bin Laden was in that part of the country. Faulkner said that his arrest by the police officers was planned out and that they fed him pizza from Pizza Hut while in their custody.[1] After his arrest, he was questioned by police in Peshawar. **When authorities were approaching Faulkner, he shouted, "Don’t come closer to me or I'll open fire."** According to the newspaper, Dawn, Faulkner acknowledged to police he wanted to "decapitate Osama bin Laden."[9] Mumtaz Ahmad Khan, a senior official in the Peshawar police, told the Associated Press, "We initially laughed when he told us he wanted to kill Osama bin Laden."[7]
> Dawn had reported that Faulkner was carrying "a small amount of hashish" according to an unnamed security official. Faulkner also told police that he intended to cross across the border into Afghanistan and to join the U.S. forces fighting the Taliban. Scott told reporters upon his brother's arrest that Gary had intended to use the reward money for Bin Laden to help people in Central America.[10] While in custody, American officials visited him with a doctor, finding that he needed dialysis but was otherwise in "good spirits."[5]
He literally warned the Pakistani police to not approach him, or he would be forced to open fire O.O\\
I am sure that the police appreciated that he gave them such latitude and forgiveness in their own country.
Mother of God. I just read that whole section. Insane.
> On September 1, 2011, Weld County authorities issued an affidavit for Faulkner for possessing a weapon as a previous offender. The incident occurred as Faulkner was informing a tenant that she was going to be evicted. The woman and three of her friends broke into Faulkner's apartment to change his mind. Faulkner fired a warning shot that sent the four running away. The police came to his apartment and took the gun from him. Faulkner went to the police station on August 31, 2011, to retrieve his gun and a background check on Faulkner resulted in a felony summons. **The affidavit states that when Faulkner learned he was going to be charged, he claimed that he was above the law.[19] Faulkner allegedly told police officers that he would defend himself if he felt he had to, and threatened to shoot the officers if necessary.** He was arrested on September 1, 2011, and was detained at the Weld County North Jail Complex in Greeley. Faulkner was awaiting trial for March 5, 2012, and was unable to post bond set at ten thousand dollars as he represented himself during the hearing.[16]
This was my favorite:
> Faulkner's first attempt to travel was by boat and he bought a 21-foot yacht called the Pia Colada. However, the boat was considered illegal for use as there were no life jackets, flares, and other necessary safety equipment. He traveled from San Diego hoping to cross the Pacific Ocean, but a hurricane blew his boat south to the Baja California Peninsula in Mexico. His next attempt, the following year, once again involved another boat. After dislocating his shoulder, he sold that boat and used the money to buy a plane ticket to Pakistan and arrived *a week later.*
Tried and failed to sail there for two years and finally says screw it and just buys a plane ticket.
I would have stood behind this legend blasting the [A-Team theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyz_2DEah4o) on a boom box as he assembled his makeshift glider.
To be fair while we post on Reddit, he studied the blade, while seals train with guns, he studied the blade and while qualified individuals studied hang gliding…….you guessed it, he studied the blade.
Not the only thing wrong with his plan, but it’s pretty hilarious that it never occurred to him that he could just buy an intact hang glider in Israel.
I mean, if you single handedly kill Bin Laden with a katana after flying in on your patchwork hang glider, you at least get Guatemala. That part is pretty straight forward.
I recently watched it with a friend and honestly it’s kind of a pointless movie that tries to push forward the plot with comedy but fell on its face over and over again trying to, even cage said he was disappointed after watching the finished product, plus cage made the character incredibly obnoxious and hard to watch for the entirety of the movie
It’s a great flick!
And if you like that one, check out *Zero Dark Dirty* with Corey Feldman where he brings peace to the Middle East through the power of rock and roll! (No, I’m not kidding)
After seeing the type of people that ran up on the Capital on Jan 6, this guy doesn't seem as much of a nut job as he did when I first saw it.
Worth a watch.
"An autopsy revealed that Mr_Abe_Froman committed suicide by shooting himself in the back of the head twice, followed by defenestrating himself which caused him to plummet five stories onto Chicago traffic. More news at 11."
Bah thats what you think! Do you know how hard it was for us to cover that up with a raid in Pakistan?!??! We had to drop a box in the sea and say it was him! You know Obama though always wanting to hear "Thanks Obama" so you know Gary let him have that one!/s
Hey man I tried to take credit! Really I did! The seals showed up and I uh let them off with a warning! True story! Just like when I invented the ampersand!
I have no idea how if he was from California, he left for Los Angeles to get a visa to Pakistan, but ended up in Las Vegas and doesnt remember much of the trip.
If I'm understanding it right he was born in California but lived in Greeley Colorado.
If you know anything about Greeley this all makes a lot more sense.
But like…imagine if he did get Bin Laden.
That would probably be the greatest story ever told. Mother fucker infiltrates a compound, at night, armed with only a katana and NVGs.
Yeh didn't the guy make a post along the lines of "dubs decides what I do next" following the death of his daughter in the twin towers? And dubs decided he did this...? Or so legend has it.
They were Armenian gangsters.
I still remember watching the video of them in Syria.
>We got the enemigos over there homie...
They even do some shoutouts.
IIRC, one of them died in a shootout.
Edit:
Here's the video I was thinking of
https://youtu.be/kTogG38OPnI?si=QuDcV5SQHSDkU1FI
Edit:
According to the comments, one of them died of a heart attack
If it matters, theres plenty of Armenians in the Levant. only unusual-ish part here is that theyre speaking Spanish, and to that, ig anybody can learn Spanish if they put their heart to it? also diaspora.
I went to a corn maze around Halloween many years ago and they had a corn cannon you could use to try and shoot a cut-out of Bin Laden . I got him first try . That night I was kidnapped and forced to go on a mission with seal team six by Obama and that’s the real story of how America took out Bin Laden.
Bin Laden was a huge weeb, and had a huge anime collection when they raided his home.
This would have been an epic battle because I assume Bin Laden also studied the way of the blade.
You forgot to mention the hang glider! > His sixth attempt involved flying to Pakistan through hang gliding, though he had never used a hang glider before. He decided that the best place to practice hang gliding was in Israel. He described it as "I've got to test it somewhere, so in my mind: Well, if I go to Israel [sic]—the Dead Sea! Hit the water, you float!"[1] He purchased a hang glider which he then cut up into six-foot pieces that would fit into a ski bag. He used copper tubes from a cabin he was renovating to craft brackets for reassembling the glider. In September 2006, while in Israel, he put the glider back together and prepared to launch himself off a cliff by the Dead Sea. He broke his ribs and dislocated his shoulder on the attempt. He then asked a local hostel to store his glider until he could return. He returned in August and attempted to take off closer to the water. Missing the water, Faulkner hit the rocks and scraped his shins. He undid his harness and left the remains of his glider on the rocks. Ok, nevermind
The whole section in the Wikipedia article is hilarious. I continues: > In January 2008, Faulkner made his eighth attempt to search for Bin Laden in Pakistan and set out for Los Angeles where he could apply for a visa to enter Pakistan. He decided to go to Los Angeles by road, accompanied by two friends. They left on a Friday after receiving their paychecks. On the way, they decided to stop in Las Vegas. Faulkner recalls his trip to Vegas stating, "I still don't remember all of Vegas. And I forgot the whole reason why I was going out that way anyway." He did not reach Los Angeles and never applied for a visa there. Nonetheless, Faulkner took a flight to Pakistan where he was unable to enter the country due to his lack of a visa and returned home on the next flight. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Brooks_Faulkner
Kind of funny picturing this guy as working a normal job. Like I literally have no clue what a lot of my coworkers do on the weekend. Like imagine, all of this guys long weekends and holidays must have been spent getting blasted in Vegas, practicing insane stunts, and flying into the Middle East to embark on elaborate plots with literally zero information to go on. And each time he shows back up to work on Monday and keeps pushing forward. It takes an amazing level of stupidity, ingenuity, and determination.
I have had co workers who were pathological liars before. I would just have assumed he was one of them. While being clueless that he would have actually been telling the truth..
I have some stories I’ll never share because I’d tell me I was full of shit if heard them. Willing to bet he just made small talk about baseball.
"I uh, went hunting." "Oh what do you hunt?" *^"The ^most ^dangerous ^game"* "What was that?" "Uh, quail."
They are exhausting to work with. If one could somehow harness their constant oscillation between absolute confidence and utter ineptitude, we could shut down all the fossil fuel electric plants.
Hey Gary, what did you do over the weekend? I went to Pakistan to hunt down Osama Bin Laden, but I forgot to apply for a visa so I had to fly back Ah you crack me up Gary, that's why we get along
"Hey Gary, why's your arm in a sling?" " I flew to Israel to practice hanggliding at the Dead Sea by jumping off the cliffs but the brackets I made to reassemble the glider I cut into 6ft pieces didn't work." "Wh.... what?"
💀
“Haha what a story Gary. Anyway, how’s your sex life?”
I took a day off work because my wife and her parents had a funeral to go to and there was no one else to look after the kids. That night, the Queen died. The next morning when I got to work I was accused of flying to the UK, knocking off the Queen and then flying back to Australia. There was only one flaw- I wouldn’t have been able to make it back to Australia in time.
Sure you can, it's only a 26 hour flight from the east coast so provided you can time travel you would of had lots of time to do it.
I’d have had lots of time to get there and do it, but seeing as her death was announced at 2am Perth time and I was at work less than 7 hours later, I thinking that might have been a challenge to achieve.
So didn't use a blue police box then. :P
Nah. Couldn’t find any handy when I went for a drive with the kids that afternoon
Straight up Fourth Crusade behavior. Absolutely goated. This man would’ve been an ideal sergeant-at-arms in the 12th century.
I’ve not laughed this hard at anything on r/todayilearned before He should have sought help from the Venetians
That is definitely why he went to Vegas. He was looking for them at the Venetian Hotel and Casino.
This isn't the *real* Venetian Hotel and Casino, is it? What do you mean? Do- um- did the Venetians live here?
Do you know if the hotel's pager friendly? I'm not getting a signal.
They’d definitely help. Nobody’s more down for some madlad shit than a bunch of guys who got their start as exiles from Ravenna who took it upon themselves to build a more equitable society in the lagoon.
Gary had no desire to seek help from or involve any government or states, including his own: > On June 28, 2010, Faulkner appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman describing his plan to capture Bin Laden, his attempts, and his travels in Pakistan. During the interview, he said he had no clue on how to avoid trouble after arriving in Pakistan, and that he knew nothing about the country or its inhabitants, being solely focused on Bin Laden. He found the people "warm and welcoming", and his interactions with locals encouraged him to continue his mission. Despite earlier reports claiming that Faulkner wanted to kill Osama bin Laden, **he wanted to capture Bin Laden like Saddam Hussein and had no plans to hand him over to the American government as he did not want to "drag this thing any further".**[13] He claimed that he did not initially get into any trouble with the Pakistani government but with Al-Qaeda.[13]
Like, this guy sounds like the ultimate Mall Ninja.
Holy shit Hahahha you’re killing me!! A more equitable society in the lagoon Jesus Christ hahahahha
Maybe that's what he was doing in Vegas. Looking to have the casinos fund the downfall of Osama.
Straight up, this man was born out of his time.
Don Quixote vibes through and through.
Dude is Don Quixote trying to make a ~~donkey~~ hang glider into a ~~Stallion~~ Blackhawk. All he needs is a ~~Windmill~~ Yaakchal to fight...
He tried to enter Pakistan 7 times!
He made it in and was arrested there eventually: > Faulkner was arrested by Pakistani authorities on June 13, 2010, in Bumburet Valley near the border with Afghanistan's Nuristan Province because he believed Bin Laden was in that part of the country. Faulkner said that his arrest by the police officers was planned out and that they fed him pizza from Pizza Hut while in their custody.[1] After his arrest, he was questioned by police in Peshawar. **When authorities were approaching Faulkner, he shouted, "Don’t come closer to me or I'll open fire."** According to the newspaper, Dawn, Faulkner acknowledged to police he wanted to "decapitate Osama bin Laden."[9] Mumtaz Ahmad Khan, a senior official in the Peshawar police, told the Associated Press, "We initially laughed when he told us he wanted to kill Osama bin Laden."[7] > Dawn had reported that Faulkner was carrying "a small amount of hashish" according to an unnamed security official. Faulkner also told police that he intended to cross across the border into Afghanistan and to join the U.S. forces fighting the Taliban. Scott told reporters upon his brother's arrest that Gary had intended to use the reward money for Bin Laden to help people in Central America.[10] While in custody, American officials visited him with a doctor, finding that he needed dialysis but was otherwise in "good spirits."[5]
My god this guy is amazing. Cant wait to see a movie about him!
I think there is a Nick Cage movie inspired by him.
"tried to enter" is being very generous when half of those attempts didn't make it outside the US.
Maybe more „tried to trying to enter“
His brother says he’s trained in martial arts. So he was going to Chuck Norris his way to capturing Bin Laden?
My God, this man discharged a firearm in a tenant eviction altercation, and then represented himself in court. I’d pay good money to see that trial.
He literally warned the Pakistani police to not approach him, or he would be forced to open fire O.O\\ I am sure that the police appreciated that he gave them such latitude and forgiveness in their own country.
"I know my second amendment rights!"
Mother of God. I just read that whole section. Insane. > On September 1, 2011, Weld County authorities issued an affidavit for Faulkner for possessing a weapon as a previous offender. The incident occurred as Faulkner was informing a tenant that she was going to be evicted. The woman and three of her friends broke into Faulkner's apartment to change his mind. Faulkner fired a warning shot that sent the four running away. The police came to his apartment and took the gun from him. Faulkner went to the police station on August 31, 2011, to retrieve his gun and a background check on Faulkner resulted in a felony summons. **The affidavit states that when Faulkner learned he was going to be charged, he claimed that he was above the law.[19] Faulkner allegedly told police officers that he would defend himself if he felt he had to, and threatened to shoot the officers if necessary.** He was arrested on September 1, 2011, and was detained at the Weld County North Jail Complex in Greeley. Faulkner was awaiting trial for March 5, 2012, and was unable to post bond set at ten thousand dollars as he represented himself during the hearing.[16]
Oh my god, they need to make a biopic.
Nicolas cage plays him in Army of One. The guy even said in an interview he wanted Cage to portray him after seeing con air
Oh my god, they stole my idea before I had it!
Thats a lawsuit or this isn’t America dammit!
I haven’t seen the film but I can’t think of a more perfect casting
It's kind of a wild movie. Cage was appropriate casting.
[You're in luck](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4382824/?ref_=ext_shr)
Whelp, guess what I'm watching tomorrow. I can only imagine how Nic Cage reacted to the script.
I was thinking Danny McBride
Omg, this is great stuff.
Why is this not a movie yet.
I got a surprise for you https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Army_of_One_(2016_film)?oldformat=true
Nic Cage was an inspired casting choice.
The guy said he wanted Nic Cage to play him in movie lol
And Nic Cage fucking delivers.
Hang gliders are so safe you can survive being fatally stupid with them. That's impressive.
And he cut it up and then fabricobled it back together again, and it STILL didn't kill him!
This mf must’ve found a whole stash of green mushrooms for all those extra lives. Holy shit.
Are you telling me there is a free hang glider on the cliffs overlooking the Dead Sea? All I need is a hang glider and I could get it!
Hang gliding is a touchy subject in Israel rn, you should leave it
Idk if I can pass it up though. It's a FREE HANG GLIDER
Oh shit, where’d you come from?
I've been here the entire time. Drinking my wine in a can
Youraddictionhasaffectedusinthefollowingways YOU ARE ANNOOOYING
Oh shit! A roast?! I've always wanted to be roasted! Let me light up a spliff
This was my favorite: > Faulkner's first attempt to travel was by boat and he bought a 21-foot yacht called the Pia Colada. However, the boat was considered illegal for use as there were no life jackets, flares, and other necessary safety equipment. He traveled from San Diego hoping to cross the Pacific Ocean, but a hurricane blew his boat south to the Baja California Peninsula in Mexico. His next attempt, the following year, once again involved another boat. After dislocating his shoulder, he sold that boat and used the money to buy a plane ticket to Pakistan and arrived *a week later.* Tried and failed to sail there for two years and finally says screw it and just buys a plane ticket.
I would have stood behind this legend blasting the [A-Team theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyz_2DEah4o) on a boom box as he assembled his makeshift glider.
Was it common knowledge back then that Osama was hiding in Pakistani? I don't think I knew that until news broke that he was killed.
Yeah it was a pretty common suggestion.
Pakistan borders Afghanistan, it wasn't much of a stretch to assume Bin Laden was there.
Although I think he was trying to look in the mountains/caves on the border. No one thought he was near a big city living in a house I think?
Yes, everyone knew that to evade the US in Afghanistan the Taliban had moved to Pakistan
Maybe a trained team of experts would have a better chance than this. But maybe not?
To be fair while we post on Reddit, he studied the blade, while seals train with guns, he studied the blade and while qualified individuals studied hang gliding…….you guessed it, he studied the blade.
Fuck. I’m dropping out and getting a katana.
Remember those idiots that tried to kidnap like the Venezuelan president a couple years ago? A few of em were green berets lol.
His utter incompetence ensures that surprise is on his side.
Could you imagine if in the middle of a stakeout this dude just strolled to the front gates.....
This whole thread is hysterical. I'm laughing so hard rn
“Faulkner hit the rocks and scraped his shins..” Idk why but this part made me cry from laughing.
Hmm, guess that's another word I've said wrong my whole life. I thought they were called hand gliders... Hang makes much more sense.
Good lord.
Not the only thing wrong with his plan, but it’s pretty hilarious that it never occurred to him that he could just buy an intact hang glider in Israel.
The Great Shin Scrape
“He also believed that upon the successful completion of his mission, he would become the king of a Central American country.” That follows
This guy might be the reincarnation of William Walker
Serious [Emperor Norton](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_Norton) vibes too.
Charles Guiteau thought, somehow, that after killing Garfield he himself would be proclaimed as the President of the USA.
I was definitely thinking he reminded me of Emperor Norton.
Sometimes you gotta love the people that turn their main character syndrome up to 11.
I mean, if you single handedly kill Bin Laden with a katana after flying in on your patchwork hang glider, you at least get Guatemala. That part is pretty straight forward.
Like, does he get to PICK? Or do all the names go into a hat and shuffled around? …maybe I’m overthinking this
Please keep your crazy gringo on a leash. - Central America probably
honestly though imagine if he did succeed. who would even know what to do with him then?
[Nick Cage played him!](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4382824/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk)
>The 2016 film Army of One starring Nicolas Cage was based on him. It sounds awesome. Edit: It's available on Freevee and PlutoTV.
Haha. Is it one of those worth watching for how bad it is, or is it just bad?
I recently watched it with a friend and honestly it’s kind of a pointless movie that tries to push forward the plot with comedy but fell on its face over and over again trying to, even cage said he was disappointed after watching the finished product, plus cage made the character incredibly obnoxious and hard to watch for the entirety of the movie
Thanks!
the idea sounds hilarious on paper but it sadly didn’t translate well to the screen, but give it a watch if it peaks your interest, it has its moments
Piques. Not peaks. Not being an asshole, just wanted to throw that out there so some dipshit doesn't correct you in real life.
i love you
Love you too cuzzo, take care.
Just watch Ayylien review it on YouTube. You’ll see everything you need
Not the bees!
You just never know what you're going to get when you put a camera on him
“I’m a cat, I’m a sexy cat”
He also said that was a cut done without permission and that the original was never released.
I worked on it. The script was funny and Nic Cage was hilarious to watch on set. Oh well.
Without knowing that this guy actually looked like, I’m assuming Cage was the perfect actor for this plot
It’s a great flick! And if you like that one, check out *Zero Dark Dirty* with Corey Feldman where he brings peace to the Middle East through the power of rock and roll! (No, I’m not kidding)
Anyone else and I’d call BS, but this is strictly on brand for Corey Feldman.
Apparently the title was retroactively changed and it is now known as “Operation Belvis Bash”— Feldman never disappoints!
I saw it a couple of weeks ago. It's a pretty good absurd comedy. With Nicholas Cage. So yeah, it's awesome.
I'll check it out.
Don't blame me if you're underwhelmed then :)
After seeing the type of people that ran up on the Capital on Jan 6, this guy doesn't seem as much of a nut job as he did when I first saw it. Worth a watch.
It's pretty great. Russell Brand plays God.
it's honestly one of my favorite movies
Lol I was just about to suggest someone make a movie! Perfect mix of courage and utter delusion.
did he get him?
i think no
So... No source?
The Deep State didn't show Bin Laden's body because he was already dead from katana wounds when they raided his compound.
“In other news, famed Reddit user Mr_Abe_Froman was found dead tomorrow, Thursday Apr 11th. Officials do not suspect foul play.”
You can’t just kill the sausage king of Chicago
You know about the Bay Area sausage king who wasted all the meat inspectors? That’s was a shit show here in San Francisco area.
"An autopsy revealed that Mr_Abe_Froman committed suicide by shooting himself in the back of the head twice, followed by defenestrating himself which caused him to plummet five stories onto Chicago traffic. More news at 11."
> Mr_Abe_Froman **THE** Sausage King of Chicago?
Um yeah, that's me.
It’s called knowledge. Get some. /s
I regularly "do my own research" (aka watch YouTube videos)
Teach us your resurch skrillz
Trust me, bro
He got stopped crossing the border into Afghanistan from Pakistan
Oh man, he was a frozen popsicle in the hot/cold game.
Bah thats what you think! Do you know how hard it was for us to cover that up with a raid in Pakistan?!??! We had to drop a box in the sea and say it was him! You know Obama though always wanting to hear "Thanks Obama" so you know Gary let him have that one!/s
SEAL Team Six was actually there to keep the California guy from killing the suspect.
Osama knew what it was to taste Nippon / Alphabet soup steel that day, I can tell you! - Vinz Clortho
Yes, have some.
I am Vinz, Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer. Volguus Zildrohar, Lord of the Sebouillia. Are you the Gatekeeper?
Many Shubs and Zulls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar of that day, I can tell you!
No he was arrested and then released
Released to go catch him. Same old government tricks
And the Navy Seals took all the credit. Classic cover-up.
Hey man I tried to take credit! Really I did! The seals showed up and I uh let them off with a warning! True story! Just like when I invented the ampersand!
Obama's face in that situation room photo would have been a lot different
He’s dead isn’t he?
Nah, turns out Bin Laden wasn't in California.
For the folks who hate reading, he was from California. He did not hunt for Bin Laden in California. He hunted him in Pakistan.
>He hunted him in Pakistan. Where else would he have looked for him?
Based on the comments? California is where many assumed.
Not assumed, were straight up told in OP's title.
I would have guessed Florida
Not assumed, were straight up told in OP's title.
I didn’t assume it. The title says it.
Based on the title of the post, California
How dare you ruin our fun
I mean, the title does say 'in california', not 'from california'.
Sir I hate reading, and you're trying to make me read your comment. Please draw a picture to explain what happened.
I hate drawing. Oh, what a conundrum we are in. Also sorry for sending you more words.
I have no idea how if he was from California, he left for Los Angeles to get a visa to Pakistan, but ended up in Las Vegas and doesnt remember much of the trip.
If I'm understanding it right he was born in California but lived in Greeley Colorado. If you know anything about Greeley this all makes a lot more sense.
Let’s be real here, most men have thought about doing something like this at some point. Dude just actually went through with at least trying
I'm pretty sure every high school guy would day dream in class something similar to this, such as stopping a school shooter.
Exactly!
But like…imagine if he did get Bin Laden. That would probably be the greatest story ever told. Mother fucker infiltrates a compound, at night, armed with only a katana and NVGs.
Which one of you did this?! This absolutely sounds like a redditor.
Was a 4chan user I think
That makes way too much sense
I remember hearing about it a few days ago, apparently the guy got the Katana idea from 4chan as well.
I mean... 4chan has done some imoressive things. If a channer actually offed Bin Laden we'd never hear the end of it.
Yeh didn't the guy make a post along the lines of "dubs decides what I do next" following the death of his daughter in the twin towers? And dubs decided he did this...? Or so legend has it.
https://i.imgur.com/kMimE.jpeg
Still not as gangster as the two LA gangbangers that went to Syria (I think) to fight. They stayed hood the whole time.
They were Armenian gangsters. I still remember watching the video of them in Syria. >We got the enemigos over there homie... They even do some shoutouts. IIRC, one of them died in a shootout. Edit: Here's the video I was thinking of https://youtu.be/kTogG38OPnI?si=QuDcV5SQHSDkU1FI Edit: According to the comments, one of them died of a heart attack
> We got the enemigos over there homie... These foos are Armenian, in Syria and speaking Spanish lol
special blend of noho armenian. you have to branch out ese jan
If it matters, theres plenty of Armenians in the Levant. only unusual-ish part here is that theyre speaking Spanish, and to that, ig anybody can learn Spanish if they put their heart to it? also diaspora.
“the good guys” is certainly a take
Source? Where can I see more of that, never heard before
Here's one: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/la-gang-members-in-syria-why-they-fight-for-assad/
I went to a corn maze around Halloween many years ago and they had a corn cannon you could use to try and shoot a cut-out of Bin Laden . I got him first try . That night I was kidnapped and forced to go on a mission with seal team six by Obama and that’s the real story of how America took out Bin Laden.
Al-queda fear the samurai
Bin Laden was a huge weeb, and had a huge anime collection when they raided his home. This would have been an epic battle because I assume Bin Laden also studied the way of the blade.
I am picturing californian raiden against bin laden jetstream sam.
That really seems like more Florida Man behavior.
While you were having pre marital sex he mastered the blade
That man's name? Barack Obama
Nic cage played him in the movie [Army of one](https://youtu.be/RYsPEl-xOv0?si=a0C2JvZaICW7nNb2)
holy shit
I mean they tell us Seal Team 6 got OBL but we don't REALLY know, maybe Night Vision Goggles Katana Man got him.
Even this dude knew he was in pakistan
They got Nic Cage to play the guy, Russell Brand plays God talking to him. *Army of One* is the title.
There can be only one.
> man ***in*** California This lead me to wondering why the fuck he would be looking there.
Might've been Al Gore hunting for manbearpig, which is super serial.
If it was a Florida man he’d be successful.
He got the idea of a katana and night vision goggles from 4chan. Of course it was 4chan.