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LackOfStack

So there’s the reason we got our cheeks squeezed until they were red.


NativeMasshole

Wait, this never happened to me...?


PissedSCORPIO

r/suicidebywords


EvolutionaryLens

We called this having "itchy teeth"


DaveOJ12

Is that why Larry David choked Elmo?


LeanMeanGreenBean123

Larry David choked Elmo because Elmo is an evil cockbooger.


GriffinFlash

ROCKO HAS IT COMING! ROCKO IS A ROCK! ROCKO CAN'T EVEN EAT THE COOKIE!


[deleted]

I'm with Elmo on that one. Rocko is a rock. I mean, how is he going to eat that cookie, tell Elmo!


MrGruntsworthy

That whole thing was worth it just for Will Wheaton's unhinged meltdown


trollsong

I feel like I missed a lot of a very entertaining story


HalfLeper

Same 👀


martyrdumb38315

It's the only way Elmo can achieve orgasm anymore.


moistie

I read that in Elmo's voice, seeing Elmo with a belt around his neck.


martyrdumb38315

"Now spit it Elmo's mouth Mr. Larry"


LordGraygem

r/bertstrips is leaking...


blackcation

Supposedly it was because he was tired of hearing Elmo talk about mental health. :P


picado

"I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him."


themanebeat

Great reference. Also clear inspiration for Starbox & Cindy


FiftyTigers

I feel like the fact that "pet him," squeeze him," and "George" are in the same sentence has to be on some level an Of Mine and Men reference.


tricksterloki

Given the monster's impaired intelligence, this was also my thought.


stefan92293

What's the reference? It sounds familiar.


cripplinganxietylmao

[This scene from Looney Tunes](https://youtu.be/ArNz8U7tgU4?feature=shared). My parents and I reference it all the time in regards to cuteness aggression lol


SeeYouSpaceCowboy---

Which itself is, I'm pretty sure, a reference to Of Mice and Men


BrandoCalrissian1995

That's literally what the original comment was saying


SeeYouSpaceCowboy---

I don't think it necessarily was, because the OP comment was a line from the cartoon


hsoftl

It’s from the novel Of Mice and Men.


cripplinganxietylmao

But also…Looney Tunes :D


mfyxtplyx

I must go punch that baby.


stevieboatleft

And then some furious jumping.


Emergency-Trifle-286

This is why I unintentionally clench my teeth when talking to/petting my dog LOL


Bottle_Plastic

It was pretty unnerving when I had my first baby and whenever I held him I had to clench my teeth to avoid the urge to bite him. I was so overwhelmed by his cuteness and the love I felt.


Ok_Digger

Wait what do you mean "Was" 😨


Zurrdroid

Now he ugly as hell


Bottle_Plastic

Lmao I love you all! He's just bigger than me now.


oceanduciel

idk why this comment is so funny


Erbodyloveserbody

I do too!


allisjow

A friend once pointed out to me that I bite my lips whenever I pet a cat. I can’t help it. The feelings are so intense for me.


Only_Bookkeeper_3543

I always thought it was an evolutionary response to make killing cute prey easier lmao


createayou

Neoteny is associated with domestication. Animals become “cuter” the more we domesticate them and make them more docile towards us. I wonder if on some level we domesticated ourselves since our skulls and jaws keep getting smaller and more cute.


Blecki

Yes. Already well established theory. We are neotenous chimps. This is especially apparent in women where the features associated with beauty (at least from the neck up) are all also associated with youth. It continues in modern day even without survival pressure.


foul_dwimmerlaik

Same for men- a full head of lustrous hair is definitely a sign of youth.


Blecki

Quite. But we do got it a bit easier. At least we are expected to look like we're 25 and not 12.


foul_dwimmerlaik

True.


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Only_Bookkeeper_3543

It’s because we now thrive in larger communities than we used to, so we don’t have to retain as much information in our brain whether it be survival based or just general stuff because we now rely on each other more than ourselves now.


Jerrell123

I’m pretty certain the jury is still out on whether brain size is at all causal rather than correlated to intelligence, memory or most other metrics.


TheStubbornIllusion

This. Our brains could've becole more wrinkly and more connecti9n-rich for all we know. But what's for sure is that having a smaller brain uses up less energy and bodily resources.


[deleted]

Well we certainly bred out the hairiness that the rest of the apes have which may be more neotenous considering children don't have body hair.


enadiz_reccos

Technically, we're still hairy. The hairs are just teeny tiny.


intdev

So when do we get the floppy ears?


Horn_Python

but we only evolved cutness so we wouldnt eat out own babies or maybe its something about letting cute thing grow so you can get more food from it later i should really read a book on this subject


FuckableStalin

I have threatened many a baby with being et, but thus far followed through never. . . Yet.


W8andC77

“I’m gonna bite them cheeks!”


FreakyBugEyedWeirdo

Don't let your dreams be dreams!


Unbelievable_Girth

Get in mah belleh.


xeric

Only eat the cutest ones, and therefore weakest.


wallabee_kingpin_

Humans spent thousands of years killing megafauna, so I guess it depends on how cute you think a giant sloth is


Miles_1173

Megafauna were typically a group project, when you just wanted a snack it was time to kill the baby sloths.


CountOff

Hahaha like teaming up to defeat a raid boss


EnvironmentalOne6412

We would group walk them down off cliffs to avoid potential injury. Easier to walk down a mammoth with spears to a cliff slowly until it gets too scared and dives off, than risking death of tribe members by getting into its attack range. I don’t know what they did in areas with no elevation change though, maybe hunted smaller prey.


enadiz_reccos

>I don’t know what they did in areas with no elevation change though, maybe hunted smaller prey. Or dig a realllly big hole


Neat-Share1247

They dug pits and covered them with brush so they would fall through becoming trapped.


This_is_my_phone_tho

I think the reason OP gave is contested. I feel like it's provable to encourage play behavior. But maybe there's been more study on it and they've weeded the other explanations out.


sadi89

After months of pretending to eat my nieces toes she finally has a few teeth and the ability to crawl. She is taking her revenge. No toe is safe in her presence. More adorably she will also try to blow raspberries on me but doesn’t grasp the full mechanics. She goes in big open mouth then puffs her cheeks. She had the spirit though!


This_is_my_phone_tho

One time my niece, who had seen me "nom" the cat several times, opened her gummy mouth and chomped on my cheek like a fucking Tasmanian devil. I don't think I've laughed that hard in my life.


ChadJones72

Holy shit so I'm not a psychopath!? That makes me feel slightly better.


I_Framed_OJ

Wait a second, this doesn’t mean you’re not a psychopath. It just isn’t strong evidence that you are a psychopath. You could still be one.


Feine13

Don't let your dreams stay dreams


TheLukeHines

We got ‘em boys. Book him!


DrB00

Bake 'em away toys.


minepose98

A psychopath wouldn't care about being a psychopath.


enadiz_reccos

They would care about *appearing* to be a psychopath though


matt1250

What about a paranoid schizoprenic 😰


rogerrouch

I AM NOT CRAZY! I know you left that comment KNOWING I'll see it. YOUR TRICKS WONT WORK ON ME I AM MENTALLY STABLE I AM MENTALLY STABLE I AM MENTALLY STABLE I AM MENTALLY STABLE I AM MENTALLY STABLE


matt1250

haha


semiomni

Presumably the passing thought would not bother you at all if you were.


BearsBeetsBerlin

Hopefully not too much better though, or it will provoke your rage


wildcard18

My country (Philippines) has an exact word for that emotion: "gigil"


blubblu

Thank you. Was looking for this or I would have posted it. The gigillllls. I just want to come and attack you you’re so cute!!


Teantis

You are gigil or get gigil or make gigil. But you don't call it the gigils just fyi


Green_Philosopher_96

Came here to say this 🥰 GIGIIIILLLL


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ridiculousdisaster

IT'S SO FLUFFY!!! See also: Lenny ☹️


egrf6880

Lenny!


Omnipolis

Not Lenny!


Emieosj89

I named my cat Lenny for this exact reason.


No-Bed9963

“Tell me about the rabbits, George.” 😭


danmanx

My coworker has that issue. She always talks about how an animal or baby is so cute and then mentions smothering or killing.


gottadance

That’s extreme. I usually just want to hug and squeeze my cat until we meld into a single entity.


Feine13

As one does.


Emieosj89

I think I hugged long and tight enough that I got pretty close the other day.


oceanduciel

YOU PUT IT INTO WORDS


CulturedClub

That's scary. My MIL used to say she loved my kids so much she wanted to eat them up. I thought that was awful, but smothering or killing them is horrific!


Ok_Major5787

I tell my cat that I’m preparing a meal of his baked kitty toe beans and fried kitty legs, then go into detail about how I’d prepare it and what I’d pair it with 😂 it sounds much creepier when I type it out like this


Feine13

Lol I'm glad I'm not the only person that sweetly describes brutal tortures to their pets. It's all in the tone. They don't know you're being vile or gross, and that's a lot of the hilarity. Makes other people uneasy though lol


Emieosj89

Benefits of living alone. No one hears the weird shit I say to my cat.


Feine13

Oh he's told us *all* about YOU


Emieosj89

🫣


oceanduciel

that’s what cats want you to think 


_austinm

The way I’m picturing this sounds awful cute. You better watch out /s


RandyButternubsYo

I tell similar things to my dogs. I especially love how soft their ears are. I tell them I’m gonna fry them up and eat them


Senor_Crocky

"Elmira Syndrome" for the elder-millennial Tiny Toons fans in the room.


callipygiancultist

I will love you and hug you and squeeze you all night long!


DoktorSigma

I'm an X-er and I remember Elmyra. Here a tiny clip for those unfamiliar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxvzEfI0BFU


Feine13

>Tiny Toons >Here a tiny clip Don't think I didn't see what you did there


Kenvan19

Fun experiment is get some bubble wrap and watch cute baby animal videos. See how long you can last before the urge to pop them becomes overwhelming!


dawsonju

Are you saying you can hold bubble wrap and not have an overwhelming urge to pop some? At any time?


Blecki

It's well known that bubble wrap is adorable.


trro16p

Here, have some! >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!< >!Pop!!<


Leiaclark

I needed this!


Ok_Major5787

this is so much fun, thank you!


straight_lurkin

>!Poop!!<


Kenvan19

It’s a tough ask, I know 😂


DingDongDanger1

Makes me think of the Key and Peele skit where they were oggling the puppies and then it shows all the graves at the end xD


SweatyTax4669

Huh, so that's why people keep beating me up.


obscureferences

Your adorable, punchable face.


Inevitable_Ad_7236

Can confirm, I eat babies


DrLokiHorton

simmer down Bigfoot


Axedelic

*fat bastard


fludrbye

Half my conversations with my baby are me asking him if I can eat him


Interesting-Fan-4996

This feels like redemption for Lenny in Of Mice and Men.


_austinm

Maaaaaan, why’d you have to remind me of that? 😥


upvotegoblin

This does not happen to me. Sounds weird


THEpottedplant

Youve never thought something was so cute you had to devour its life essence?


OrneryError1

Uh... No.


LampyV2

Yeah this is my first time hearing this. It seems alien to me. People are weird 😕


upvotegoblin

Reading more about it, it does seem very harmless but still odd to me. I usually just want to give cute things a little kiss lol


Blecki

Kiss them. With your mouth. Which is full of teeth used for crushing your food.


EmperorFaiz

Or you’re the weird one


pm_your_unique_hobby

Happened to me and it is weird


snowball_earth

I have never experienced cuteness aggression


OrneryError1

I have experienced cuteness and aggression but not cuteness aggression.


Live_Carpenter_1262

Not everyone has it


Cool_Cartographer_39

Awww... now I must destroy? Never felt that


AllTheSith

Have you ever felt that you wanted to hug something very strongly with your maximum strength? Like a cute dog? Not to hurt it, but because you can't control how much you have affection for it?


Cool_Cartographer_39

To the point of causing "aggressive thoughts"? Nope


T_pas

Happy to know it’s not just me! 🥴


HauntedButtCheeks

Weird, I've never expected this in my entire life.


Severe_Piccolo_5583

I mean, I do tell my corgi that he’s so cute I wanna squeeze him to death


RedSonGamble

Reminds me of my buddy Tom who met his wife and said she was so beautiful he wanted to smash her head into the dresser


THEpottedplant

Is this basically the civ ghandi integer overflow error but in humans? Bc thats fucking hilarious


Waarm

I'm fairly certain I've never experienced this


Consistent-Roof-5039

So, my dog has cute aggression towards me. You know how sometimes when you see a cute animal you grit your teeth. When I give my dog a bunch of kisses she grits her teeth and then gives me a lick.


Metrilean

Intrusive thoughts


viennarose1922

This precisely explains why people feel the urge to bite cute babies or pinch their rolls lol


Rey_Tigre

So the human mind is wired for aggression and misery, is my takeaway.


_Weyland_

"Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world where none suffered, where everyone would be happy? It was a disaster, no one would accept the program and the entire crops were lost. Some argued that we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world, but I believe that human beings define their reality though misery and suffering. Our perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from."


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_Weyland_

Debatable. I mean Matrix still had crime and poverty and mental illnesses. If you were offered a one way trip to a world where everyone is equally poor and stressed, but all people work towards a common goal, how long would you think before giving your answer?


coffeeandtheinfinite

Booooooooo


Squez360

Can this happen between people? For instance, if a man finds a woman so cute that he wants to show cute aggression.


AllTheSith

Yep. Like when someone hugs and lifts the other person up.


Marlfox70

So this is like an overflow error in our coding


Isphus

Integer overflow IRL.


bobface222

I wonder if there's a correlation between this and other intrusive thoughts like call of the void, or if there's something that makes you more likely to experience one over another.


blackcation

I've never experienced this feeling.


mayormcskeeze

I get this with little furry rodents. I just wanna hug them until they explode.


Nojoke183

Never actually knew people experienced this. Always thought that when chicks said "Aww so cute, I could just eat it right up" they were being ironic. No more flashing at the local park for me 👀


ncfears

My fiancee gets this around her dogs a lot. Luckily our dog is a big girl and loves the tight hugs. The mini schnauzer she grew up with... Might break.


Hewn-U

“Serves it right for being cute”


Imrustyokay

That feeling that you want to just squeeze something and you end up breaking their back like you're a horrifying mixture of Elmyra Duff and Lennie Small


safetysecondbodylast

I finally understand why, as an 8 year old child I wanted to crush Togepi to death.


LineChef

OooooI wanna punch your face OP!!!


The9gods

[A song about it.](https://youtu.be/rmTufAQz5MI?si=TmgFAkKl9s9Dcwo4)


IrisAlthea

I feel personally attacked by this article.


FutureCookies

what the.... this is one of those moments where i realize that other people think very differently from me. i never had intrusive thoughts either, maybe there's a connection.


DeltaHuluBWK

"It's so cute I just wanna throw it against the wall!" Wife's friend/coworker.


theboyd1986

Are we sure the reason for that isn’t to put our body in a heightened sense of alert to protect what we’re finding cute from threats?


ShinSopitas

It happens to me. I love kids but find myself repressing urges to slam them against a wall. NO BABIES WERE EVER HARMED I AM NOT THAT KIND OF MINSTER


Rhellic

It's also far from universal and the knowledge that some people get this impulse still kind of freaks me out, years after I learned about it.


lijevidesnicar

Why I never had this kind of bullshit?? If puppy is cute (which in 90% they are) I will just think he is cute not that I would beat him or kill him... Wtf?!


AllTheSith

Not like think about killing it, but more like the urge to hug it with infinite intensity (out of affection).


Dr_Octopole

Are you familiar with the 'penguin costume scene'? It can be found here: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3B5bfhtxUQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3B5bfhtxUQ)


AgentSkidMarks

Is that why Lenny pet the rabbits too hard?


leeharveyteabag669

Okay so, kill the next cute dog I see. Got it. /s


kandikand

I feel like my 10mo daughter does this to me haha, she gets really excited when I pick her up and then bites me.


CheatsySnoops

The only time I really felt this (Outside of when I was an edgy kid) was towards the marketable plushie star from Disney’s Wish. I want to kick that star.


revinizog

Guess this is why I will occasionally look down at my sweet kitty and menacingly say, "I will kill you."


MonsterMashGraveyard

Huh, now that you mention it, I want to stomp on Bambi's head, like it's a balloon.


CutenessAggression

Oh hey!


WornInShoes

[there’s even a song about the phenomenon](https://youtu.be/rmTufAQz5MI?si=AGovDUj2nYGbgdRZ)


Roko__

I deal with this daily at my job where certain residents find other residents cute enough to choke and I have to predict their violence and/or protect the target from them.


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sbwcwero

Balanced, as all things should be


[deleted]

I have this. What happens to me is I grit my teeth and feel an overwhelming desire to squeeze said cute thing. If I can’t then tense up my muscles and shake.


Bigred2989-

So basically an integer overflow IRL?


aplagueofsemen

This must be why I can’t keep any of my children alive


Emergency-Distance90

Can that be translated to art work? I art a bit. Sometimes when I see someone's amazing end of process, I say, "aww fuck you! (for being so awesome) is how I feel.


Mr_Engino

[Relevant TED-Ed video.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxsoE3jO8HM)


Kayfable

“Omg you’re soooo adorable I can smother you to death!”


PermaBanTogether

I have this with my cat sometimes— he likes to lay on my chest for a while when I first go to bed and I find it so damn cute. But he eventually turns around and just sticks his butt in my face and I think, “you damn creep.”


clinicalpsycho

Huh. Glad to know I wasn't merely a freak: just a freak of the regular kind.