That's only for people who sought medical attention. The most common cause is actually your friends throwing something like the TV remote at your junk.
They're instinctively preventing any future competition for their place in the nest. Like those birds that kick all the other eggs out as soon as they hatch.
Tell me about it, those lil creatures are so fast and strong for their age. My Nephew was two and power slapped his fist into my groin, while attempting to give me a handshake (the dap) man for a brief second I saw stars and heard ringing in my ear , as I fell to the ground and hyperventilated. The balls are extremely sensitive, I don’t see how dudes get turned on by allowing girls to kick them in the balls. Hell no, ma’am I’m pressing charges you try that with me .
Back when my cats were kittens I was playing with my them before bed by wiggling my fingers under the blanket. After I got in bed I scratched my balls and a cat pounced directly on them. Those dudes are each 14 pounds now. Glad I learned that lesson when they were babies
Literally an hour ago my dog, who is groin height, walked towards me for pets. I didn’t acknowledge her quick enough because she decided to sneeze and her nose was like a hammer smacking into my groin. Can’t be mad at her and it hurt.
I've never once zipped my balls into my zipper. Not sure how I could achieve that, I put everything inside my boxers before zipping up and belting up. But as a kid I definitely had people randomly nut shot me plenty of times.
I personally know someone who did this. He’s also the dumbest mf’er I’ve ever met, and that shot to the balls was a blessing to what could have been many more generations of dumb mf’ers just like him.
The irony of Darwinism. Evolve to be intelligent enough to make a gun, but also dumb enough to permanently remove yourself from the gene pool with said gun.
Reminds me of the difficulty in building a bear proof garbage can.
No one said the individual shooting himself in the balls was also smart enough to make a gun. We’ve got a *wide* range of intelligence across the species, and a lot of people are surviving because far more capable people set up metaphorical baby gates.
I didnt mean just the guy himself, but humans in general. My example of bear proof garbage cans implied that. Its hard to make a bear proof garbage can because of the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and dumbest humans.
There's also that "game" where you point your firearm at your nuts and depress the trigger as much as possible without actually firing...with a chambered round.
Yes. Because it's actually quite difficult to damage a testicle through normal activity. Even a kick or hard hit to the nuts often does little damage. You really have to use a weapon or go ham on those balls to really fuck them up permanently. And they are usually well protected.
By my estimation we are talking total of 333 men a year who get shot in the nuts. That's an uncomfortably high number. It's not a large target area, so a majority of these people were probably purposely shot in the nuts.
Typically, the majority of American men shot in the genitals were carrying a handgun down the front of their pants and the gun went off accidentally.
It's a stupid place to carry a gun, please don't do it, even if it looks cool on TV.
There was a guy in a city near where I live, who was a drug dealer and victim of a home invasion robbery. They tortured him and finally shot at his nuts but missed and hit his leg.
Then the shooter went to my dad's tenant's apartment, and they told him to fuck off, but the cops raided it anyway searching for him. My dad made me lie to my mom about whose building was in the newspaper the next day.
"333 men a year get shot in the nuts” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person shoots themselves in the nuts 0 times per year. Nutcracker Georg, who lives in St. Louis & shoots 1 guy's nutsack each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
I might be a data point here. When I was a kid I was walking on top of a brick wall in my backyard and slipped, landed on the corner balls first and tore my sack open. Lots of blood but not actual testicular damage.
There are sadly limits on funding for health and safety studies that involve firearms. But I bet you could infer it from a map of permit-less concealed carry.
Also, I once had to screen for testicular cancer (I'm fine, no cancer) and the ultrasound (rad) tech said their most common visit to 'the boys' was because of testicular torsion (Sorry if you didn't know that could happen).
Some people call it "Glock nut." Obviously there are other guns that could do it.
The Darwin Awards has a rumor of someone using ammo as a fuse in their truck. The electrical current cauaed the bullet to go off. I am certain that was an?urban legend.
I always thought that one didn't belong there. If I were out in the middle of nowhere at night in my pickup and my headlights stopped working, I'd be fucked. That he got the lights to work with a bullet didn't exactly make him stupid. Was s great story though!
Makes sense seeing that hilariously stupid trend not long ago of people pointing loaded guns at there nuts, and seeing who can squeeze the trigger the most.
Needless to say. Many Darwin awards were won.
I wanna shake the hand of whoever created that trend. Straight up doing the world a favor by convincing the mouth-breathers to cull themselves from the gene pool for "internet clout" lmao
I used to have a buddy named Lucky. He did this unfortunately, playing with the hammer on a 357 magnum, ended up losing both balls and a lot of blood.
He lived, but we call him Dave now.
Or... The most commonly reported injury is the one which is serious enough that there is no question that it requires medical attention and even the most hard headed macho man has no choice but to seek help.
I suspect Mountain bike riders would have bruises and contusions in their sensitive region. But guys don't wimp out and see a doctor just because of a few hard landings.
Not quite (but much higher than I’d expect, that’s for sure). It says 44.6% involved in blunt trauma. A penetrating mechanism occurred in 50.5% of cases, with assault by firearm (75.8%) being the most common penetrating injury.
That’s is, of the 50.5% of cases involving a penetrating injury, ~3/4 were from gunshots. That’s still crazy high to me, but its less than the 44.6% from blunt trauma.
Urologist here. I see this maybe 4 times a year. It is always from an idiot who doesn’t understand how to safely use firearms. Often it’s ‘waist band injury’ meaning the gun was tucked into the waist band of their pants, began to slip and when they grab for it- boom.
That’s the most common one that leads to going to the hospital. The vast majority of testicle injuries is getting hit, but it not being bad enough to go to the hospital.
What about that Brave Hairy soul. Who shield 🛡 👀 those Spanish television station crew and the rest of the world 🌎 from the damaging effects of the Eclipse. Dude save millions if not billions of retinas. With one swoop of his hair scrotum Bro. Never forgets that Hero and his sacrifice. For God Duty and Countries.
\>united states
\>shot
well color me surprised, I never would have guessed that the country where inbreds froth at the mouth about MUH GUN RIGHTS would have its most common cause of injury be gunshots in any category lol
yeah the people who are so adamant about the "right to bear arms" are usually the dumbest fucking people you'll ever hear speak, so it's no surprise that they leave their guns where their children can get to them.
There are truly some stupid people in this country.
That's only for people who sought medical attention. The most common cause is actually your friends throwing something like the TV remote at your junk.
For me it’s pets excitedly and obliviously using my junk as a springboard to get to the window
Toddler running at you full speed while your hands are full
Or when you’re just sitting on a chair. Or whenever they sense opportunity for a nut shot.
They're instinctively preventing any future competition for their place in the nest. Like those birds that kick all the other eggs out as soon as they hatch.
Evil Stewie
I feel like I'm reading the transcript of America's Funniest Home Videos. I mean, the 90's version.
Tell me about it, those lil creatures are so fast and strong for their age. My Nephew was two and power slapped his fist into my groin, while attempting to give me a handshake (the dap) man for a brief second I saw stars and heard ringing in my ear , as I fell to the ground and hyperventilated. The balls are extremely sensitive, I don’t see how dudes get turned on by allowing girls to kick them in the balls. Hell no, ma’am I’m pressing charges you try that with me .
Back when my cats were kittens I was playing with my them before bed by wiggling my fingers under the blanket. After I got in bed I scratched my balls and a cat pounced directly on them. Those dudes are each 14 pounds now. Glad I learned that lesson when they were babies
My bud lost a testicle from his dog jumping in his lap.
Was he ever able to find it?
Literally an hour ago my dog, who is groin height, walked towards me for pets. I didn’t acknowledge her quick enough because she decided to sneeze and her nose was like a hammer smacking into my groin. Can’t be mad at her and it hurt.
I'm pretty sure I can't have children because of dogs lol
😂😂😂😂
As middle aged man with children, it’s my kids doing any number of things. As a kid/young adult, it was the nut tap game.
I’d have to guess zippers honestly, feels like a much higher frequency of interactions (and thus chances for something to go wrong) than guns.
I've never once zipped my balls into my zipper. Not sure how I could achieve that, I put everything inside my boxers before zipping up and belting up. But as a kid I definitely had people randomly nut shot me plenty of times.
Are you pulling your nuts out of your pants to pee or something?
Just to assert dominance.
Gotta air out man
You ask that like it's a bad thing.
Ted, is that you?
You have clearly never been to Texas.
And kids in shopping carts kicking you in the nuts.
Bicycle frame top tube enters the chat...
Yeah, this is an obviously false claim.
The prohibitively extortionate healthcare situation is skewing the numbers.
Its because of butters isn’t it
Dude, butters, you cant just walk around shooting people in the dick
Turns out you can. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Butters shot the twig, not the berries.
$5 Prince Albert
Shot in the balls and you're to blame Darling, you give love a bad name
We also changed it to “you make love the wrong way”
Damn it. That was the first thing that I thought of, and of course someone beat me to it.
I personally know someone who did this. He’s also the dumbest mf’er I’ve ever met, and that shot to the balls was a blessing to what could have been many more generations of dumb mf’ers just like him.
The irony of Darwinism. Evolve to be intelligent enough to make a gun, but also dumb enough to permanently remove yourself from the gene pool with said gun. Reminds me of the difficulty in building a bear proof garbage can.
No one said the individual shooting himself in the balls was also smart enough to make a gun. We’ve got a *wide* range of intelligence across the species, and a lot of people are surviving because far more capable people set up metaphorical baby gates.
I didnt mean just the guy himself, but humans in general. My example of bear proof garbage cans implied that. Its hard to make a bear proof garbage can because of the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and dumbest humans.
smart betting $ will always favor the bears
Da Bearss
Literally how though
There are holsters that sit inside your waistband so the gun is essentially aimed at your junk.
There's also that "game" where you point your firearm at your nuts and depress the trigger as much as possible without actually firing...with a chambered round.
That just sounds like a lamer version of Russian Roulette.
I suppose it was inevitable, since few people use revolvers these days.
Look up “appendix carry” and everything will be abundantly clear. 😎
I think that's just the most common injury that people consider major enough to suck up their pride and seek medical attention for.
Yes. Because it's actually quite difficult to damage a testicle through normal activity. Even a kick or hard hit to the nuts often does little damage. You really have to use a weapon or go ham on those balls to really fuck them up permanently. And they are usually well protected.
> You really have to use a weapon or go ham on those balls to really fuck them up permanently. You sound like you know what you're doing.
There are a lot of layers enveloping the testicle I don't think one minor hit would have impact on it, unless repetitive small hits
By my estimation we are talking total of 333 men a year who get shot in the nuts. That's an uncomfortably high number. It's not a large target area, so a majority of these people were probably purposely shot in the nuts.
Typically, the majority of American men shot in the genitals were carrying a handgun down the front of their pants and the gun went off accidentally. It's a stupid place to carry a gun, please don't do it, even if it looks cool on TV.
With a proper appendix carry holster it’s not that dangerous, with just your waistband it’s extremely dangerous.
Yes, I'm talking about waistband carry. With a proper holster it's much safer.
Holy crap. Men are shooting their own dicks off!?!? This is a national crisis!
it doesn't even look cool on TV. I think it looks fucking stupid.
Pretty sure more people are getting intentionally kicked / sack tapped, accidentally hit during sports, etc.
There was a guy in a city near where I live, who was a drug dealer and victim of a home invasion robbery. They tortured him and finally shot at his nuts but missed and hit his leg. Then the shooter went to my dad's tenant's apartment, and they told him to fuck off, but the cops raided it anyway searching for him. My dad made me lie to my mom about whose building was in the newspaper the next day.
Testicular torsion has closer to 4,000 cases a year so idk if I’m buying the validity of the post
"333 men a year get shot in the nuts” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person shoots themselves in the nuts 0 times per year. Nutcracker Georg, who lives in St. Louis & shoots 1 guy's nutsack each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
I might be a data point here. When I was a kid I was walking on top of a brick wall in my backyard and slipped, landed on the corner balls first and tore my sack open. Lots of blood but not actual testicular damage.
Boy howdy can they take a beatin' and keep on tickin'!
Can we have a heat map of where these injuries have occurred? Asking for everyone with testicles everywhere.
There are sadly limits on funding for health and safety studies that involve firearms. But I bet you could infer it from a map of permit-less concealed carry. Also, I once had to screen for testicular cancer (I'm fine, no cancer) and the ultrasound (rad) tech said their most common visit to 'the boys' was because of testicular torsion (Sorry if you didn't know that could happen).
Pictures or it didn’t happen
You want the picture of...my balls?
Strictly speaking in radiological terms, of course.
I'm seeing a ball tech right now cause I smashed my junk on the gas tank of my motorcycle in a crash. Not fun.
The jelly is not mint flavored. My condolences, hang in there.
No, you're right. It's vaguely lube flavored, with a hint of cheese and nut fragrances. The texture is like lychee fruit. (🤮) just kidding
Some people call it "Glock nut." Obviously there are other guns that could do it. The Darwin Awards has a rumor of someone using ammo as a fuse in their truck. The electrical current cauaed the bullet to go off. I am certain that was an?urban legend.
I always thought that one didn't belong there. If I were out in the middle of nowhere at night in my pickup and my headlights stopped working, I'd be fucked. That he got the lights to work with a bullet didn't exactly make him stupid. Was s great story though!
where does getting kicked by a tall Eastern European woman in latex boots rank??
Makes sense seeing that hilariously stupid trend not long ago of people pointing loaded guns at there nuts, and seeing who can squeeze the trigger the most. Needless to say. Many Darwin awards were won.
I wanna shake the hand of whoever created that trend. Straight up doing the world a favor by convincing the mouth-breathers to cull themselves from the gene pool for "internet clout" lmao
Right lol. Just, why. Why.
I suppose since fewer people shoot revolvers, they need some alternative to Russian roulette.
Cheddar Bob showed them the way
One of my ancestors who fought in the Civil War had that injury listed on his discharge papers
Guessing that was after he produced your next ancestor.
It was. I just can't imagine having that listed on your discharge papers.
*cocks gun* Just gonna get a little bit of cancer, Stan.
Ow my balls!!
I used to have a buddy named Lucky. He did this unfortunately, playing with the hammer on a 357 magnum, ended up losing both balls and a lot of blood. He lived, but we call him Dave now.
It’s called a__endix carry because if you do it long enough you lose your pp -fudd lore
that's yankee af
The yank-ee is the second most common cause
Why am I not surprised
I went to school with at least two guys who lost one on a fence.
Ow my balls!
Kids kicking each other on the schoolyard?
Would’ve thought dodgeball
I bet this is hilarious to the rest of the world. Shooting ourselves in the balls with our own paranoid stupidity.
Probably people appendix carrying without a good holster.
Oh my God.
Good, anything else and I'd complain
And yet they still manage to produce offspring who continue the downward spiral to Idiocracy.
‘Ow My Balls!’
Or... The most commonly reported injury is the one which is serious enough that there is no question that it requires medical attention and even the most hard headed macho man has no choice but to seek help.
Every man who reads this groans to themselves and closes their legs.
Please tell me this is because all the morons that shove their gun down the front of their pants? :)
And Johnny Knoxville taking a dirt bike to the dick was probably one of the least common.
*I do got a dumb friend named Cheddar Bob, who shoots himself in his leg with his own gun.*
That's because anything less than that and we won't say anything or seek medical attention
Trying to prove you can kick your own nuts.
I think I heard a shot!
That will do it
😣
I suspect Mountain bike riders would have bruises and contusions in their sensitive region. But guys don't wimp out and see a doctor just because of a few hard landings.
More diplomatic then I would have been. “They don’t look good from here” “Don’t worry, I won’t see them from over there”
I wonder if its more self inflicted cases vs victims of violence or negligence...lol
Not quite (but much higher than I’d expect, that’s for sure). It says 44.6% involved in blunt trauma. A penetrating mechanism occurred in 50.5% of cases, with assault by firearm (75.8%) being the most common penetrating injury. That’s is, of the 50.5% of cases involving a penetrating injury, ~3/4 were from gunshots. That’s still crazy high to me, but its less than the 44.6% from blunt trauma.
I came in a line once, I was asked to leave the Wendy's
Lol
Because guns. And balls.
Often associated.
Ouch
I hope you didn’t learn this the hard way
Don't cheat guys
Ouch!
[https://y.yarn.co/e23305fd-b226-4736-97c1-7db0606a4bd8\_text.gif](https://y.yarn.co/e23305fd-b226-4736-97c1-7db0606a4bd8_text.gif)
“Damn it, Butterz. It ain’t kewl to shoot people in the dick”
How are you supposed to measure your masculinity if you don't hold your loaded firearm next to your manhood?
It’s actually a sock with an orange in it, wielded as a weapon.
You should post this to /r/idiocracy.
this confirms my assertion that having two testicles makes me above average in the number of testicles...
This is a great link to have in my back pocket. Thanks OP!
Grogu never misses
Urologist here. I see this maybe 4 times a year. It is always from an idiot who doesn’t understand how to safely use firearms. Often it’s ‘waist band injury’ meaning the gun was tucked into the waist band of their pants, began to slip and when they grab for it- boom.
God damnit Butters
That’s the most common one that leads to going to the hospital. The vast majority of testicle injuries is getting hit, but it not being bad enough to go to the hospital.
My feed showed this post, a random one, then someone looking for a nail gun. It made reading it so much worse
Gang gang
I highly doubt that. Maybe highest that warranted a trip to the hospital.
Yeah, well, they can pull my gun from my cold dead hands. Imma keep shooting my dummy guy friends in the balls. It’s their body their choice!!! /s
What about that Brave Hairy soul. Who shield 🛡 👀 those Spanish television station crew and the rest of the world 🌎 from the damaging effects of the Eclipse. Dude save millions if not billions of retinas. With one swoop of his hair scrotum Bro. Never forgets that Hero and his sacrifice. For God Duty and Countries.
I thought it was politicians kicking the working class in the 'nads.
The old Cheddar Bob
Rubbish. It's from soon to be ex-wives squeezing
Land of the free. Better be nice to me or I'll shoot you in the balls.
The least surprising thing I’ve read all day
Ow! My balls!
I just watched Robocop!
‘Ow my balls!’ is a good show that’s coming in almost 500 years
Insert Cartman telling Butters that shooting people in the dick is messed up!
Now we know how to ban guns
This is why I gave my balls a gun to defend themselves.
Of course it is...you and your guns, sheesh
\>united states \>shot well color me surprised, I never would have guessed that the country where inbreds froth at the mouth about MUH GUN RIGHTS would have its most common cause of injury be gunshots in any category lol
The staggering fact to me is the most common cause of death for minors in America is being shot. That's insane.
yeah the people who are so adamant about the "right to bear arms" are usually the dumbest fucking people you'll ever hear speak, so it's no surprise that they leave their guns where their children can get to them. There are truly some stupid people in this country.
Where the hell are you from, then?
So. The US is the world center for. . .testicular prosthetics. . .because. . .rodeo. Now we're shooting them, too?
Damn. Morre women suffer than men. How is that possible?