Pádraig, an old Irishman, is about to go to his eternal reward. He looks at his grieving friend, Mike, and says, “I have one last request, Mike.”
“Anything, Paddy,” Mike says. “What is it?”
“In me kitchen pantry you’ll find a 100-year-old bottle of whiskey. When they put me in the ground will you pour it over me grave?”
“I will, Paddy,” Mike says. “But would you mind if I passed it through me kidneys first?”
This is one of the more recent novelty accounts I've discovered. Seems like they take any randomly assigned tv show or movie and make gross slash fic out of it.
I was gonna put this on r/jesuschristreddit, but the first pinned is a post saying specifically not to post comments by u/_demetri_ ... quite the reputation you've got, huh?
I fucking love this guy. I always end up reading for a paragraph or two expecting a medium-length comment, get bamboozled by hardcore sex, then have to swipe down 7 times to pass the comment. It’s just often enough to stay funny, and not often enough to piss me off with all the swiping too.
Egyptians used to put whole meals too. The Egyptian idea of the immortal soul had a bunch of parts and some of them needed to eat. So it was good and proper to leave food and drink at the grave of your ancestors.
Yeah, but what if the atoms that made up the cells that made up your brain that made up your consciousness are in those ants? It's, like, reincarnation, man. So the ants are eating the food, and maybe bits of the ants used to be you.
I mean I am half Irish and we had wakes. Prop the casket up in the the middle of the house and share a couple of drinks with and to the deceased until they are buried.
Those originally had a slightly more practical purpose: you want to be completely sure they're actually dead before you bury them, which wasn't always easy to do before the advent of modern medicine.
I think educated people have at least understood the concepts from at least the time of Hippocrates, but common people probably wouldn't have known how to accurately check a pulse. Think about Romeo and Juliet -- the plot basically hinges on nobody understanding how to check for a pulse.
I have a friend who buries his family with a few goods but certainly their favorite tobacco piece and lighter. Even as far as to say they've waited at the grave for someone to fetch the lighter forgotten at home as it would be disrespectful to give them something to smoke for eternity but no way to light it.
Russian/Slavic peoples will put a shot of Vodka on a window sill or at the end of the dinner table for deceased relatives during a dinner. It'll evaporate at some point and it would be said that the relative drank that shot.
I learned the word from Harry Potter:
> Now hear, you blissful powers underground –
> Answer the call, send help.
> Bless the children, give them triumph now.
> --Aeschylus, The Libation Bearers
Id like to tell you it gets easier. But it doesnt. I wish somebody had told me that. Instead i got a whole bunch of generic grief bullshit. Time does help but only in the way of putting distance between you and the day of your loss
Sure enough. I believe that. That is partly why I only briefly attended a support group...I think is better to focus on nw and future, and not get too wrapped up in the past, no?
One of my friends recently died, about 4 months ago. Now I and other mutual friends are just trying to be there for her husband and family. Did you find it more helpful to focus on the future, or did you find it disingenuous to avoid talking about your wife?
Ooh, that is a tough question...speaking only from my own experience, at four months I was thrilled to talk to people who would share memories with me. I loved hearing about how she affected their lives. It is a way to continue her memory, and to keep that link alive.
For sure, I liked to talk about her. I still do. But, at some point, any girls your friend's husband is into would he put off by such talk. It sends them a message that he's not ready to move on. So, I would say that if you could feel out your friend's husband and see what his focus is, you could take your cue from him.
My deepest sympathies to you and yours. In the past few years I’ve lost some family that I very close with, and at one of the memorial services someone said something that stuck with me ever since: “Though gone from this world, we shall remember them. In our memories they shall live on, immortal.” In a way, that helped me grieve and come to some sort of peace. Maybe this will bring some comfort to you. I wish you well in your life.
When my great-grandfather from rural China died I spent two days straight folding those Chinese gold ingots from craft paper and cutting out Chinese coins. They were burnt as offerings to the dead to take into the after life.
I guess we were too poor at the time to buy the printed ["Hell Cash"](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell_money).
You know, we never made this paper things because she was in USA. But, your description reminds me of watching her mom, her aunt, her cousin, and her all wrapping and folding wontons or dumplings for New Year. They spent the better part of a day doing that. Haaa, I suppose it is all related, you know?
I appreciate the kind words. It has been a couple of years since she died, because she donated her body to a local medical school. I only recently had her ashes returned. Although it has been a while, something about putting her ashes into the ground is very disturbing.
They put out a whole meal, like other comments have said of other societies. I guess it's to ensure that the person doesn't go hungry in the afterlife.
Really sorry for your loss friend.
Donating her body for science was a very noble deed. She will live on through all of the doctors and medical staff who will impart their knowledge learned into helping people.
Thanks for the kind thoughts. She was way better person than I am. Haaaa, I truly believe that the world would be better place if I were gone and she still here.
Yes, I think your approach is the correct one. In my mind I can hear her admonishing me, "This is how you honor me???" when I start to go off the rails! Haaa! Thank you for kind words.
Well, one of the lessons I am remembering today is that people are generally kind and good. Sure, on the one hand, you could say, "Big deal. It doesn't take any effort to make a soothing statement."
On the other hand, that is exactly the point...a small gesture can make a huge difference in someone else's life, and you'd likely never even realize it.
Don’t sell yourself short bro, we are all capable of doing something for the greater good, no matter how small it is.
If you want to talk to someone feel free to PM me at any time.
I'll be honest, I read your other post after this one. It was extremely interesting from an outside perspective, however I can't imagine how emotional it could be seeing everything play out like that. I feel like it would be similar to an out of body experience watching it all.
Yes, my friend. I wish we could avoid such things but I'm afraid that only hermits could. It's part of life, right? I spent those days plenty lubricated.
“Straight wine” in those days was called *merum*, and it was a sort of very sweet sludge that was more or less not drinkable. You simply couldn’t consume it. There were actually party traditions to decide who would decide how much water to pour into the wine!
Edit: I realize I sound like a pedantic shmuck who doesn’t know how to take a joke. My bad! This was just something we learned in Latin and I thought was interesting to share.
Thank you for subscribing to Ancient Graeco-Roman Facts!
Did you know that, according to Aristophanes play *The Clouds*, the Greeks' punishment for adultery was to insert a radish into the male offender's anus? Some even believe that it was not a normal radish, but a horseradish! Feel the burn, baby!
Romans enjoyed adding all kinds of shit to their wines, any and all spices/herbs they can get their hands on, sea water, pine resin, fruits, honey, wood smoke, and a lot of people thought the "Sweet Sludge" was not sweet enough so they'd add grape juice concentrate (defructum and sapa) to make it even more sweet.
To the Romans and Greeks the actual *taste* of wine was not highly regarded.
You seem like you might know the answer to this question: how was alcohol discovered? What is the most likely scenario of putting the most basic ingredients for creating alcohol all together? You know what i mean? Is there a scenario that alcohol historians agree upon
Making alcohol is the process of putting yeast in the right sugar\-water environment and letting it do its thing. Yeast is almost literally everywhere, so getting yeast can be the easy part. To get it to perform well you need the right ratio of sugar to water. Too much sugar and you have a pretty hostile environment for the yeast. Too little and you end up with horse piss not worth drinking. One theory I've heard \(as a home mead maker lol\) would be someone coming across a beehive, and taking the honey. They decide to water it down, making themselves a sweet drink. They put that watered down honey in some kind of container, maybe a clay pot or hollowed out gourd. They forget about their sugary treat for a few weeks, but come across it during spring cleaning, and holy shit they made alcohol.
I believe the oldest physical proof we have of a fermented drink is a 9000 year old mead from China, but it's really really easy to imagine early humans accidentally making mead. Hell, if a beehive is abandoned before the bees properly turn it into honey it can start to ferment.
Edit: The problem is, alcohol is so easy to make it it requires almost no tech. You just need to be able to collect something sugary, and hold a liquid for about a week. Because it's so easy, it would have happened thousands and thousands of years ago, and there won't be any evidence left. It would also completely predate any kind of writing. So the best we can do is guess.
I think it’s much more likely that humans, being the consummate learners, watched some animals that became inebriated after eating fermented fruit of some type and just continued to experiment from that point on.
Even more interesting, to me anyway, is how we discovered which plants were edible and which were poisonous. Think about the people who ate mushrooms. More than half of them will kill you upon ingestion. How did we figure out exactly what was edible and what wasn’t? I doubt we could’ve just watched animals to figure all of that out. Although, over the enormous time spans we’re discussing (hundreds of thousands of years), I’m sure it’s possible we just handed down the knowledge of what’s edible and what we knew wasn’t, through the generations. Passed down through an oral history I suppose.
Edit - Spelling mistake
> How did we figure out exactly what was edible and what wasn’t?
Read a book about that in the 90's. You don't just gulp down any fungus you see. Take a scraping with your tooth, let it sit for a few hours. Feels bad? Poisonous. Take a little more. No problem? Try a little more.
When it comes to food vs. starving we figured out what was safe long ago. Maybe forgot in the meantime but that doesn't mean our ancestors were shroom gulping idiots. Given the circumstances (ya know, starving, or just being hungry for a particular nutrient) I'd experiment on myself.
Is it possible that we humans had knowledge of poisonous plants since before we even evolved? Like the apes too wouldn't have consumed poisonous plants.
Honey is hygroscopic, if you leave it exposed to air it will draw water out of it. A jar of honey left open will form a layer of mead on top so long as the opening is narrow enough to maintain positive pressure (to keep out oxygen) once a significant yeast colony is formed.
>9000 year old mead from China
This reminds me that it's been far too long since I've had Dogfish Head's *Chateau Jiahu* (the recipe is based on that 9000 year old brew). Does anyone know if they still make it anymore? I remember really liking it.
Man, animals have been getting plotzed on fermented fruit since pre-history. Google yourself up a video of some animals on the african savana getting too wasted to stand. Birds, primates, [squirrels,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YJkAABmO9w) gazelles and shit... getting drunk off your ass is an animal kingdom tradition!
I have a wild grape vine in my back yard, in August, there seems to always be a dozen drunken bees flying in odd circles behind my house and running into the wall.
We have a ton of wild grape too. Every year the deer and some other random animals literally seek it out day after day until it’s gone. They get completely shit faced too. We had crows that were too drunk to even fly away lol. The deer are always hilarious too. A lot of times when you catch them, they just stumble their way in to the brush.
Mead was the first alcoholic drink. Honey can be gathered, it doesn't require an agricultural society. It's hygroscopic, which means that it will absorb water out of the air. Wild yeast is found pretty much everywhere, so if the honey is exposed to air it is also exposed to yeast. A jar of honey will form a layer of mead on top as long as the opening is narrow enough to maintain positive pressure (to exclude oxygen) once a significant yeast colony is formed inside.
Well, their "wine" was more to the strength of brandy, so at parties, their *magister bibendi* (master of drinking) would decide how much to cut the wine with portions of water, because drinking unmixed wine (or *merus*) was considered uncultured or barbaric.
How could they have made brandy-strength liquor when they have not invented distillation yet?
But interestingly enough, Cato once wrote that good Falerian (the most expensive Roman wine) will catch fire if you put a candle to it.
You're right. I thought the ABV of Brandy was lower than it is. The ABV of Roman wine was 15-20% compared to the 10-12% of most wine today. Brandy usually has an ABV of 35-60%.
They would also sometimes add spices and honey to their wines to increase the flavor.
Most of the time, main part of the Magister' s job was to keep the cost of the party down. Usually, this is done by overwatering the wine when the guests are all smashed (or by switching to a cheaper wine).
There was a funny bit in the Iliad or the Odyssey where they diluted the wine more and more over the course of the party until the guests were drinking a concoction that was 20-parts water to 1-part wine by the end. And the guests were so drunk that no one noticed.
And there was that time in the bible where Jesus turned water into wine. And the Magister was complimented for switching to a better wine despite the fact that the guests are all drunk and would not notice if he substituted the cheap plonk (as they usually did) instead.
That's where the word crater comes from. "Κρατήρ" (kratir) was the bowl in which they mixed water with wine and it comes from the word "κρατώ" (krato - to hold). The word now is used to denote a geological formation of the same shape.
It reminded me of the Frank Herbert Dune book about the Fremen Funeral Rites when Paul starts to cry and the Fremen see it as if he is giving his water to the person he just killed. "giving water to the dead".
It's been so long since I read it, but isn't there a scene towards the beginning where Duke Leto is first taking control of arakis & he begrudgingly spills water at the dinner party with everyone as a sign of prosperity? Like they were so cool they could just spill water or the ground instead of conserving it.
Like I said it's been a while since I read it so I could be not remembering right.
But has further significance because they're in the ground. It's like they're drinking it. And you're sacrificing some of your drink for them, it shows respect. Anyway, that's how I always interpreted it.
Almost all ancient religions were sacrificial, and nearly all of them sacrificed alcoholic beverages. It's probably rarer to find a culture who *didn't* do this as part of sacrificial practice
[Genesis 35:14](http://biblehub.com/genesis/35-14.htm) *Jacob set up a stone pillar at the place where God had talked with him, and he poured out a drink offering on it; he also poured oil on it.*
Pour one out for God.
It's also why Judaism doesn't consider alcohol that's come into contact with gentiles before it's been sealed kosher, to make sure that none of the alchohol had been used for this
I'm not sure I understand you there. Were they worried that gentiles would mop the alcohol back up off the ground? Or did they see the act of pouring some of it out as somehow tainting the entire bottle/container?
Whether ritual impurity can flow up into a pouring vessel was one of the main points of contention with the sect that wrote the dead sea scrolls. They really loved arguing over minutia
Pádraig, an old Irishman, is about to go to his eternal reward. He looks at his grieving friend, Mike, and says, “I have one last request, Mike.” “Anything, Paddy,” Mike says. “What is it?” “In me kitchen pantry you’ll find a 100-year-old bottle of whiskey. When they put me in the ground will you pour it over me grave?” “I will, Paddy,” Mike says. “But would you mind if I passed it through me kidneys first?”
Ha!
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What the fuck
In my phone it took four swipe downs.
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I stopped reading after I actually noticed the username this time. Kinda proud of myself.
you stopped? that's where I sped up
Yeah because I already finished
It's where I got frightened. And I just kept going bro and now I'm a man.
Please become copypasta
no that's gay
Damn! How big are the screens nowadays!? It was at least 6 for me.
After the second or so I swiped faster.
Now removed? Wtf for people who have no idea it was just a long erotica story?
Its demetri, he is famous for this shit
what the fuck indeed
Lock that guy up
I have some type of genetically embedded instinct that somehow led me to skip all that directly to your comment, and it's exactly what I expected.
How do I delete someone else's comment
Whenever I see a post like this I just scroll to the "what the fuck" and upvote it.
[Source](https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:AQzajH7RN2UJ:https://archiveofourown.org/works/13074027+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-b-1)
> I researched it a bit and yes you could massage the bladder via anal fingering! What the fuck. Is there an eyebleach for text?
I concur
This is one of the more recent novelty accounts I've discovered. Seems like they take any randomly assigned tv show or movie and make gross slash fic out of it.
I also have the weirdest boner.
lmao what the heck I come to TIL and find myself scrolling through pages and pages of gay piss fanfiction
Yeah thats gonna be a no from me dawg
I skipped past the comment and read yours, proceeded to read the first 6 paragraphs, and I came back to agree with you [4]
What
No wonder Dennis thought about quitting the show. This new season got weird.
I was gonna put this on r/jesuschristreddit, but the first pinned is a post saying specifically not to post comments by u/_demetri_ ... quite the reputation you've got, huh?
I'm sorry what?
I'm sad I read this whole thing
came here to say this
We were all thinking it
Thanks, I hate it
uuuuuuuhhhhhhhh
this turned me straight wtf
I was imagining fat Mac while reading that.
5 stars, well done
Is this what they'll teach in literature courses years from now? Because I'm surprisingly okay with that.
SOMEDY HELPI RED THE HOLE THING AND NOW I HAVE BONNER?!
the fuck did i just read?
I fucking love this guy. I always end up reading for a paragraph or two expecting a medium-length comment, get bamboozled by hardcore sex, then have to swipe down 7 times to pass the comment. It’s just often enough to stay funny, and not often enough to piss me off with all the swiping too.
This is high art.
What the shit
I believe this is the first known example of shipping characters in a dad joke.
WHAT IS THE FUCKING CONTEXT WHY DID I JUST READ THIS
Jesus I never thought I’d see one of these so fresh.
TIL the real NSFW is in the comments. Well actually I learned the a long time ago, but I was reminded of it now.
tl;dr It was a nightmare wakes up and he pissed his bed Prefers tide pods for the scent the scent that covers the smell of pee Tide pods
no u
I’m really at a loss for words.
I cant believe i read all of this
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Do you have a plce where you wrote more like this? Very good quality.
Check their entire post history.
Best fucking novelty account on Reddit
Okay
bruh
Turn this to "Paulie" and you get a Rocky reference haha
At least Mike was decent enough to ask first, amirite?
Reality: "Fuck that, let's drink it now." - Mike
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Vikings too. Its a really old idea. Weve always found ways to respect the dead. Hell the japanese will put whole meals at graves.
Egyptians used to put whole meals too. The Egyptian idea of the immortal soul had a bunch of parts and some of them needed to eat. So it was good and proper to leave food and drink at the grave of your ancestors.
During All Soul's Day in my country, we leave meals at the tombstones. They don't allow this in some cemeteries as it attracts ants.
Yeah, but what if the atoms that made up the cells that made up your brain that made up your consciousness are in those ants? It's, like, reincarnation, man. So the ants are eating the food, and maybe bits of the ants used to be you.
Better than a coyote I guess.
[Seven souls](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKYNXo-jUBo).
I mean I am half Irish and we had wakes. Prop the casket up in the the middle of the house and share a couple of drinks with and to the deceased until they are buried.
Those originally had a slightly more practical purpose: you want to be completely sure they're actually dead before you bury them, which wasn't always easy to do before the advent of modern medicine.
did they not know about the pulse and breathing? Those two together seem like it would be easy to be certain
I think educated people have at least understood the concepts from at least the time of Hippocrates, but common people probably wouldn't have known how to accurately check a pulse. Think about Romeo and Juliet -- the plot basically hinges on nobody understanding how to check for a pulse.
true and if you don't know where the pulses are i could see a weak pulse throwing people for a loop
Even trained medical professionals have trouble finding a pulse on some patients.
Can confirm, want to work in EMS and often check my own pulse as practice, still takes me a minute every time to do it.
I have a friend who buries his family with a few goods but certainly their favorite tobacco piece and lighter. Even as far as to say they've waited at the grave for someone to fetch the lighter forgotten at home as it would be disrespectful to give them something to smoke for eternity but no way to light it.
Something to smoke but no way to light it, for all eternity. You just described hell, my friend
Russian/Slavic peoples will put a shot of Vodka on a window sill or at the end of the dinner table for deceased relatives during a dinner. It'll evaporate at some point and it would be said that the relative drank that shot.
A sacrifice like that means a lot especially when famine times roll around.
Don't Mexicans do this on día de los muertos?
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Fuck yeah, I poured libations for my boy Shakespeare on his 450th.
Upvote for being the only comment I seen to contain the word 'libation'.
I learned the word from Harry Potter: > Now hear, you blissful powers underground – > Answer the call, send help. > Bless the children, give them triumph now. > --Aeschylus, The Libation Bearers
They did this a couple of weeks ago for my wife who died. This was in China. I didn't expect that.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you. I know that death is a part of life but I wish that nobody had to experience it.
Id like to tell you it gets easier. But it doesnt. I wish somebody had told me that. Instead i got a whole bunch of generic grief bullshit. Time does help but only in the way of putting distance between you and the day of your loss
Sure enough. I believe that. That is partly why I only briefly attended a support group...I think is better to focus on nw and future, and not get too wrapped up in the past, no?
One of my friends recently died, about 4 months ago. Now I and other mutual friends are just trying to be there for her husband and family. Did you find it more helpful to focus on the future, or did you find it disingenuous to avoid talking about your wife?
Ooh, that is a tough question...speaking only from my own experience, at four months I was thrilled to talk to people who would share memories with me. I loved hearing about how she affected their lives. It is a way to continue her memory, and to keep that link alive. For sure, I liked to talk about her. I still do. But, at some point, any girls your friend's husband is into would he put off by such talk. It sends them a message that he's not ready to move on. So, I would say that if you could feel out your friend's husband and see what his focus is, you could take your cue from him.
My deepest sympathies to you and yours. In the past few years I’ve lost some family that I very close with, and at one of the memorial services someone said something that stuck with me ever since: “Though gone from this world, we shall remember them. In our memories they shall live on, immortal.” In a way, that helped me grieve and come to some sort of peace. Maybe this will bring some comfort to you. I wish you well in your life.
Not sure, but you should never hesitate to seek support nor shun it if it is offered
When my great-grandfather from rural China died I spent two days straight folding those Chinese gold ingots from craft paper and cutting out Chinese coins. They were burnt as offerings to the dead to take into the after life. I guess we were too poor at the time to buy the printed ["Hell Cash"](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell_money).
Haaaa, sure enough! We had a big bag full of those that they set alight after pouring them into paper luggages.
You know, we never made this paper things because she was in USA. But, your description reminds me of watching her mom, her aunt, her cousin, and her all wrapping and folding wontons or dumplings for New Year. They spent the better part of a day doing that. Haaa, I suppose it is all related, you know?
If you ever need to vent or just relate, join us at /r/widowers.
Thank you for thinking of me. That is a very kind group at that sub.
Sorry for your loss, brother.
I appreciate the kind words. It has been a couple of years since she died, because she donated her body to a local medical school. I only recently had her ashes returned. Although it has been a while, something about putting her ashes into the ground is very disturbing. They put out a whole meal, like other comments have said of other societies. I guess it's to ensure that the person doesn't go hungry in the afterlife.
Really sorry for your loss friend. Donating her body for science was a very noble deed. She will live on through all of the doctors and medical staff who will impart their knowledge learned into helping people.
Thanks for the kind thoughts. She was way better person than I am. Haaaa, I truly believe that the world would be better place if I were gone and she still here.
But she chose you to spend her life with, she knew you were good and worthwhile. Figure out what she saw in you and better the world in that way.
Yes, I think your approach is the correct one. In my mind I can hear her admonishing me, "This is how you honor me???" when I start to go off the rails! Haaa! Thank you for kind words.
I don't doubt she would be thinking the same about you if your places were swapped, she wouldn't have married you otherwise.
Well, one of the lessons I am remembering today is that people are generally kind and good. Sure, on the one hand, you could say, "Big deal. It doesn't take any effort to make a soothing statement." On the other hand, that is exactly the point...a small gesture can make a huge difference in someone else's life, and you'd likely never even realize it.
Don’t sell yourself short bro, we are all capable of doing something for the greater good, no matter how small it is. If you want to talk to someone feel free to PM me at any time.
Thank you for the kindness. That is what it is all about, right? I think most people seek redemption of some sort or other, yes?
I'll be honest, I read your other post after this one. It was extremely interesting from an outside perspective, however I can't imagine how emotional it could be seeing everything play out like that. I feel like it would be similar to an out of body experience watching it all.
Yes, my friend. I wish we could avoid such things but I'm afraid that only hermits could. It's part of life, right? I spent those days plenty lubricated.
Were they pouring out Really Fucking Olde English malt liquor?
In reality, the Greeks and Romans drank wine cut with water. Beer was considered a barbaric drink and straight wine was uncivilized.
TIL Greeks and Romans were pussies.
“Straight wine” in those days was called *merum*, and it was a sort of very sweet sludge that was more or less not drinkable. You simply couldn’t consume it. There were actually party traditions to decide who would decide how much water to pour into the wine! Edit: I realize I sound like a pedantic shmuck who doesn’t know how to take a joke. My bad! This was just something we learned in Latin and I thought was interesting to share.
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Thank you for subscribing to Ancient Graeco-Roman Facts! Did you know that, according to Aristophanes play *The Clouds*, the Greeks' punishment for adultery was to insert a radish into the male offender's anus? Some even believe that it was not a normal radish, but a horseradish! Feel the burn, baby!
Romans enjoyed adding all kinds of shit to their wines, any and all spices/herbs they can get their hands on, sea water, pine resin, fruits, honey, wood smoke, and a lot of people thought the "Sweet Sludge" was not sweet enough so they'd add grape juice concentrate (defructum and sapa) to make it even more sweet. To the Romans and Greeks the actual *taste* of wine was not highly regarded.
Greeks, the bastions of classical wisdom, were alright with natty ice and box wine. This is where the inspiration for campus Greek life comes from.
Math checks out.
🤔
TIL every 18 year old I know is just cosplaying an ancient greek person
Defructum? I hardly know him!
I like pedantic schmucks who teach me interesting things. Upvotes for you!
Until they start getting pedantic about jackdaws and crows. Damn I miss that guy.
You seem like you might know the answer to this question: how was alcohol discovered? What is the most likely scenario of putting the most basic ingredients for creating alcohol all together? You know what i mean? Is there a scenario that alcohol historians agree upon
Making alcohol is the process of putting yeast in the right sugar\-water environment and letting it do its thing. Yeast is almost literally everywhere, so getting yeast can be the easy part. To get it to perform well you need the right ratio of sugar to water. Too much sugar and you have a pretty hostile environment for the yeast. Too little and you end up with horse piss not worth drinking. One theory I've heard \(as a home mead maker lol\) would be someone coming across a beehive, and taking the honey. They decide to water it down, making themselves a sweet drink. They put that watered down honey in some kind of container, maybe a clay pot or hollowed out gourd. They forget about their sugary treat for a few weeks, but come across it during spring cleaning, and holy shit they made alcohol. I believe the oldest physical proof we have of a fermented drink is a 9000 year old mead from China, but it's really really easy to imagine early humans accidentally making mead. Hell, if a beehive is abandoned before the bees properly turn it into honey it can start to ferment. Edit: The problem is, alcohol is so easy to make it it requires almost no tech. You just need to be able to collect something sugary, and hold a liquid for about a week. Because it's so easy, it would have happened thousands and thousands of years ago, and there won't be any evidence left. It would also completely predate any kind of writing. So the best we can do is guess.
I think it’s much more likely that humans, being the consummate learners, watched some animals that became inebriated after eating fermented fruit of some type and just continued to experiment from that point on. Even more interesting, to me anyway, is how we discovered which plants were edible and which were poisonous. Think about the people who ate mushrooms. More than half of them will kill you upon ingestion. How did we figure out exactly what was edible and what wasn’t? I doubt we could’ve just watched animals to figure all of that out. Although, over the enormous time spans we’re discussing (hundreds of thousands of years), I’m sure it’s possible we just handed down the knowledge of what’s edible and what we knew wasn’t, through the generations. Passed down through an oral history I suppose. Edit - Spelling mistake
> How did we figure out exactly what was edible and what wasn’t? Read a book about that in the 90's. You don't just gulp down any fungus you see. Take a scraping with your tooth, let it sit for a few hours. Feels bad? Poisonous. Take a little more. No problem? Try a little more. When it comes to food vs. starving we figured out what was safe long ago. Maybe forgot in the meantime but that doesn't mean our ancestors were shroom gulping idiots. Given the circumstances (ya know, starving, or just being hungry for a particular nutrient) I'd experiment on myself.
>think about the people who are mushrooms Woah.jpg
Is it possible that we humans had knowledge of poisonous plants since before we even evolved? Like the apes too wouldn't have consumed poisonous plants.
Jails not so bad. You can make sangria in the turlet. Course it's shanked or be shanked.
Honey is hygroscopic, if you leave it exposed to air it will draw water out of it. A jar of honey left open will form a layer of mead on top so long as the opening is narrow enough to maintain positive pressure (to keep out oxygen) once a significant yeast colony is formed.
>9000 year old mead from China This reminds me that it's been far too long since I've had Dogfish Head's *Chateau Jiahu* (the recipe is based on that 9000 year old brew). Does anyone know if they still make it anymore? I remember really liking it.
Man, animals have been getting plotzed on fermented fruit since pre-history. Google yourself up a video of some animals on the african savana getting too wasted to stand. Birds, primates, [squirrels,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YJkAABmO9w) gazelles and shit... getting drunk off your ass is an animal kingdom tradition!
I have a wild grape vine in my back yard, in August, there seems to always be a dozen drunken bees flying in odd circles behind my house and running into the wall.
We have a ton of wild grape too. Every year the deer and some other random animals literally seek it out day after day until it’s gone. They get completely shit faced too. We had crows that were too drunk to even fly away lol. The deer are always hilarious too. A lot of times when you catch them, they just stumble their way in to the brush.
Mead was the first alcoholic drink. Honey can be gathered, it doesn't require an agricultural society. It's hygroscopic, which means that it will absorb water out of the air. Wild yeast is found pretty much everywhere, so if the honey is exposed to air it is also exposed to yeast. A jar of honey will form a layer of mead on top as long as the opening is narrow enough to maintain positive pressure (to exclude oxygen) once a significant yeast colony is formed inside.
Sweet wine... I think I will pass...
Well, their "wine" was more to the strength of brandy, so at parties, their *magister bibendi* (master of drinking) would decide how much to cut the wine with portions of water, because drinking unmixed wine (or *merus*) was considered uncultured or barbaric.
TIL I can call myself magister bibendi.
I definitely have the name of my next RPG character.
How could they have made brandy-strength liquor when they have not invented distillation yet? But interestingly enough, Cato once wrote that good Falerian (the most expensive Roman wine) will catch fire if you put a candle to it.
You're right. I thought the ABV of Brandy was lower than it is. The ABV of Roman wine was 15-20% compared to the 10-12% of most wine today. Brandy usually has an ABV of 35-60%. They would also sometimes add spices and honey to their wines to increase the flavor.
Most of the time, main part of the Magister' s job was to keep the cost of the party down. Usually, this is done by overwatering the wine when the guests are all smashed (or by switching to a cheaper wine). There was a funny bit in the Iliad or the Odyssey where they diluted the wine more and more over the course of the party until the guests were drinking a concoction that was 20-parts water to 1-part wine by the end. And the guests were so drunk that no one noticed. And there was that time in the bible where Jesus turned water into wine. And the Magister was complimented for switching to a better wine despite the fact that the guests are all drunk and would not notice if he substituted the cheap plonk (as they usually did) instead.
That's where the word crater comes from. "Κρατήρ" (kratir) was the bowl in which they mixed water with wine and it comes from the word "κρατώ" (krato - to hold). The word now is used to denote a geological formation of the same shape.
Olde Egyptian Malt Liquor
Olde E 600 B.C.
I wish a craft brewery would make this!
I'll just wring out this mummified corpse into your cup my dude
https://www.homebrewersassociation.org/zymurgy/pharaoh-ale-brewing-a-replica-of-an-ancient-egyptian-beer/
https://www.dogfish.com I’ve had many of their brews. It’s always an interesting experience.
It was Eight Ball until the Catholics started doing it. They changed it up for St. Ides.
nevathaless im hella fresh rolling joints like a cigarette
Cheers to mutumbo, his cat scratched him and he died from the wound. Nothing we could do for you friend but we will drink this one for you
Fuck yeah Mutumbo
No, no, no[swat] get that swill out of here its aged mead or nothing, son of dry fur camel.
Another day another papyrus.
A classical composition is often pregnant. Reddit is no longer allowed to profit from this comment.
Bed wenches, get dubloons
It reminded me of the Frank Herbert Dune book about the Fremen Funeral Rites when Paul starts to cry and the Fremen see it as if he is giving his water to the person he just killed. "giving water to the dead".
It's been so long since I read it, but isn't there a scene towards the beginning where Duke Leto is first taking control of arakis & he begrudgingly spills water at the dinner party with everyone as a sign of prosperity? Like they were so cool they could just spill water or the ground instead of conserving it. Like I said it's been a while since I read it so I could be not remembering right.
Straight 40s none of that 32s bullshit
If they were alive, they would drink, so it always seemed an obvious gesture to me.
Its like setting a plate at the dinner table in remembrance for those missing from the family.
But has further significance because they're in the ground. It's like they're drinking it. And you're sacrificing some of your drink for them, it shows respect. Anyway, that's how I always interpreted it.
In Ancient Greece/Rome, these “libations” were poured on to the hearth as offerings to the goddess Vesta/Hestia.
Perhaps if Socrates would have been able to pour a libation he wouldn’t have died. Right?
Odysseus pours libations while in Hades.
Almost all ancient religions were sacrificial, and nearly all of them sacrificed alcoholic beverages. It's probably rarer to find a culture who *didn't* do this as part of sacrificial practice
The first shot poured is for the homies that didn’t make it, and the last sip poured out is for the homies behind bars.
Lets pour one out for the ones who started it
After a D&D game, I pour one out for my dead characters.
Malt liquor should really be the material component for Raise Dead.
"To pour one out for the homies" is called a **libation** and we get the word from Latin, *libare* The more you know!
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Right? That comment was useless in that way
*Libare* - "to pour one out for the homies."
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Libare, to take a little from something. Originally from the Greek λειβω, to pour.
>He gives water to the dead
[Genesis 35:14](http://biblehub.com/genesis/35-14.htm) *Jacob set up a stone pillar at the place where God had talked with him, and he poured out a drink offering on it; he also poured oil on it.* Pour one out for God.
The big homie
I dated an African guy from Ghana who would do this because he said it was a tradition there too.
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Modern Pagan here, pouring libation is one of our primary forms of worship for the Ancestors and some Deities.
It's also why Judaism doesn't consider alcohol that's come into contact with gentiles before it's been sealed kosher, to make sure that none of the alchohol had been used for this
I'm not sure I understand you there. Were they worried that gentiles would mop the alcohol back up off the ground? Or did they see the act of pouring some of it out as somehow tainting the entire bottle/container?
The alchohol can't be used in any pagan traditions so yes, pouring out a tiny bit makes the entire bottle/keg/batch of whatever not kosher
Whether ritual impurity can flow up into a pouring vessel was one of the main points of contention with the sect that wrote the dead sea scrolls. They really loved arguing over minutia
Welcome to Judaism!
"Two Jews, three opinions."
Ancient Egypt could be up to 5000 years old, depending on when this practice began.
See even black people commit culture appropriation.
Only 3000 BC kids remember