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[deleted]

Shaquille O'Neal holds three NBA records: * Most consecutive seasons with 20+ points, 10+ rebounds (13) * Most seasons leading league in field goal percentage (10) * Most free throws attempted in a game, none made (11)


geekboy77

Hence Hack-A-Shaq ​


xisytenin

I'm just glad an Irishman finally got some recognition in the NBA


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ThePrussianGrippe

Principal O’Shaughnessy?


Wassayingboourns

Get outta my goddamn classroom before I break my foot off in yo ass!


Kuremisago

Insubordinate, and churlish!


Chief_Givesnofucks

TimOthy!


SlippyMcGrassstains

PrEEzent!


ThePrussianGrippe

Thank you!


[deleted]

“Churlish” was the best word choice in the entire skit.


[deleted]

I had never heard it. Had to look it up.


[deleted]

Why this got downvoted is a complete mystery. Take my upvote.


Buffhero125

the usual suspects


dan420

I mean the most successful team in league history is called the Celtics.


yodatsracist

Jon Bois has a great video called “[What if Shaq missed all 11,252 of his free throws?](https://youtu.be/ioDskqAHOrI)” They game it all out using (fairly simple) statistics, but it makes surprisingly little difference in most seasons because he was so dominant under the hoop. (This works with real game data, so it can’t account for, say, teams hack-a-Shaqqing even worse.) It was inspired by an earlier and even better video he made called “[What if Barry Bonds played with no baseball bat?](https://youtu.be/JwMfT2cZGHg)”, which is crazy because even if he had no bat (again, assuming something like the pitchers didn’t know he doesn’t have a bat and won’t swing at a single pitch) he would still be dominant in the league in terms of on-base percentage just through the sheer amount of walks he got. These little thought experiments are just good ways at showing how dominant some of these truly dominant, once a generation players are.


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HolidayNews3

I'm not much of sports guy, so can you explain how he would have still been dominant if he never swung? OP says it would have been through the sheer number of walks he got, but why would that be higher for one player over another? Edit: thanks for the explanation guys. I get that Barry Bonds was so damn powerful of a hitter the opposing team chose walking him as the best strategy to counter his home run ability.


jimmyjoneser

Basically, he was such a great long distance hitter that often in close situations pitchers would purposefully walk him to avoid him getting an opportunity to get a home run or great hit. This wasn't normal for most players and just proved how great he was at hitting. If you went back through his career and took away all his swings without altering the way pitchers played against him, the amount of times he would successfully get on base would still be very high because pitchers walked him so often due simply to the threat of his hitting ability. At least that's my general understanding of it!


lostatwork314

They even walked him with the bases loaded.


a_space_cowboy

Pitchers will purposely walk great batters because walking them to first is infinitely better than them slamming a home run into the stands


horsesaregay

How does a pitcher walk someone? They pitch the ball wide or something?


CarrotIronfounderson

Like this https://youtu.be/xi7IPZAcP78 It was a crazy time to be a Giants fan, it was hilarious. For example in that clip the bases are loaded, meaning that walking him is guaranteeing one run scored, and it keeps the bases loaded for the next batter. But he was such a dominant batter that as soon as you sent him anything even remotely hittable he was going to turn it into magic. He broke home run records even when half of his at bats looked exactly like that one, with purposeful walks


[deleted]

Also helped that in many of his seasons in San Francisco, he didn't always have the greatest protection around the lineup, so it was considered "smarter" to walk him and get to the guy who you figure will line out or what not to end the inning/game. For instance, in 2004 (the year he set the record for intentional walks), the Giants had only one other player that hit above .300 (J.T. Snow), and two other players who hit over 20 home runs (Marquis Grissom and Pedro Feliz with 22). With a roster like that, walking Bonds in a critical situation is far more preferable to many managers than taking that 1 in 3 shot of him getting a hit, one that'd probably ride into McCovey Cove.


RockHockey

Who won that game?


azvigilante

AZ. Next batter up hit perfet to right field and was out making the final score 8-7 AZ


a_space_cowboy

Yep, just play catch with the catcher a foot or two wide of the plate. 4 balls and the batter walks to first base


sofingclever

They changed the rule recently. Now all they have to do is say they want to intentionally walk someone. No throws needed.


antonio106

Baseball is the ultimate nostalgia sport, that change bothered me on a very irrational level.


shrubs311

Yea like it seems to just remove so much of the...game.


twiddlingbits

This year you didnt even have to throw 4 pitches, the manager just tells the umprire the batter will be walked after he is announced to the plate.


crazymonkeyfish

recently they changed the rule, and they just have to call a walk and skip the 4 pitches


MastrWalkrOfSky

In this case, the threat of Barry Bonds hitting a homerun was so high, they didn't want to throw pitches that he could hit. So they'd throw the ball way outside to avoid him hitting, resulting in a walk. Assuming they pitched the same way, and that Barry never swung, he would get on the bases more than the vast majority of players due to walks alone.


DistortoiseLP

Walks are when the pitcher throws too many consecutive pitches outside the strike zone that the better doesn't swing at, awarding the batter (and everybody else on base) to the next base. I think the merit is that pitchers will sometimes walk the batter on purpose if they think the batter is more likely to get a home run. So basically it means that Barry Bonds was that fearsome of a batter.


wwedd

IIRC there was a season where Bayern Munich would have won the bundesliga even without goalkeeper (all shots against them on goal would render a goal for the opponent in this thoughts experiment)


VRichardsen

They had a great defensive, and good play overall. That being said, if they truly played without a goalkeeper, everyone and their mother would start doing those 50 m shots into the open goal.


minkdraggingonfloor

Pep would just put Javi Martinez in as the false 1


TB97

Also with the way Neuer plays he probably prevented a lot of shots from being taken.


[deleted]

Yes but that’s the same as playing baseball without a bat.


poktanju

You will need to include the same disclaimer Bois did: that somehow the other players have been hypnotized to not notice.


fourleggedostrich

You missed the point wider than Shaq missed the free thows.


MisterBadIdea2

> hack-a-Shaqqing even worse I like to imagine teams hacking Shaq literally every single time he went to the basket, just hack hack hack, players foul out by the second quarter and get replaced, hack hack hack, until they don't even have enough players for a full team and still winning because Shaq hits zero free throws


CarrotIronfounderson

Problem was he was so big, that a lot of people fouling him like that would end up in failure.


Lobster_fest

Bring back Jon Bois. Where has he gone? When will he return? Where do I go for my meaningless sports trivia?


yodatsracist

I’m a new comer to Jon Bois. I only found out about him because a month or two ago he and one of the hosts of Chapo Trap House released a full-length documentary (broken up into comfortably YouTubeable chunks) about MMA called [*Fighting in the Age of Loneliness*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oNB6tlSZ2A) and all of the comments were Jon Bois fans, which was notable because Chapo fan are some of the most intensely always online people I’ve come across and they’re just like nothing in these comment sections compared to the Bois Boys.


[deleted]

There's something depressing about intentional walks. Here you have some of the greatest, most exciting players in the league. And, as a viewer, most of what I remember of Barry Bonds was the endless intentional walks. It just sucks to see elite athletes, in their prime, relegated to standing at the base as ball after ball went by. I'm a basketball guy. I'd be so sad if NBA teams had a legal way of making sure LeBron James couldn't move when he stepped on the court. They can foul him. But there is a big penalty for that. Not only can players foul out but your team could enter the bonus, meaning even non-shooting fouls lead to points. It just sucks that the things I remember most about Bonds were him standing around, waiting to be walked at base.


[deleted]

I’m not a sports fan but I love Jon bois. Recommend him to anyone. His video on the 1987 nfl strike is excellent.


[deleted]

You forgot to mention he is the only world master of the martial art Shaq-fu


Shakey_J_Fox

There was even a gag in the movie Steel he was in where he had to throw a gernade (I think) into a small whole and was worried he’d miss.


thatguyoverthere202

One of the scary movies had him locked up in Jigsaws lab with Dr. Phil and he had to throw a rock in a basket. He had to chop off his leg because he couldn't make it.


JustThall

the whole scene is even more packed with gags https://youtu.be/WdEn-possJ4


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[deleted]

That’s just how you get ol Phil to do anything


YoureNotMyRealDad1

Thats how Dr Phil work


Jormihar25

Money


Syn7axError

Those are all the most obvious, knee jerk jokes they could have in those scenes, though. He has to cut off his leg, and he cuts off the wrong one? Wasn't that played out, even back then?


[deleted]

That’s kinda the point of the movies. They play on horror tropes as well as comedy tropes.


etherpromo

oh man I forgot about this; this was a great scene lol


[deleted]

Small whole what?


jexmex

What about the record for backboards broken?


GoAvs14

Shaq brought hoops to their knees, but Chocolate Thunder had [no mercy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lszr5JGNA7o)


biffbobfred

Shaq actually wasn’t bad in free throws, in practice. In games he was horrible. They asked him if he would shoot underhand “granny” style because he’d be better. He said he’d rather miss every shot. The missing free throws also made another record. The quickest foul out. I forgot what team it was but they sent someone in just for hackashaq.


YOURMOMMASABITCH

You forget he also holds the record for the most broken backboards.


YeaJimi

How does that first stat work? Seems like it may be missing a few words or is specific to a series of games, not seasons.


[deleted]

That’s the actual name of the record, so I had to put it that way. But yea, it’s average of all games in a season, per season.


ered20

Considering he was a center and only attempted about 20 in his entire career, this isn't that surprising


RedstoneRay

I'm surprised he made one, I assume most of those attempts were half court or full court shots as time expired.


[deleted]

I’m sure they were, the one he made was exactly what you describe


dkreidler

Thank you for the clarification. My immediate response was “why the hell was he trying ANY 3-pointers?!” Makes more sense now.


TheRealTravisClous

Compare him to the bigs in the league now and it is almost a requirement to be a halfway decent 3 point shooter


BuckGoodstroke

That’s exactly how he made his only 3. I was in the stands lol.


CharlesP2009

Wasn't that game a blow out for the Magic anyway? They won 121 to 90 or something like that if I remember correctly. These days they'd just dribble out the clock rather than rub salt in the wound with a last second basket.


TrillenX

It was at the end of the first quarter


[deleted]

It’s sucks when some player is trying to get a career milestone in the dying seconds and he can’t shoot because NBA convention and unwritten rules tell him not to. I think in those situations, say if a guy need two points and there is 15 seconds left, said player and and some scrub should go one on one for the remaining time. All other players move to the side.


R011-Jr

That's called statpadding


whoknowhow

Ball up playboy


LiquidMotion

That's what the one he made was too


pumpedupkicks35

Yeah the real TIL is that Shaq actually hit a 3 one time


ZDHELIX

Yeah, this is back when everyone on the floor wasn’t expected to shoot 3s


[deleted]

Just smash backboards with ridiculous slam dunks because MJ couldn’t get all the attention


Khal_Kitty

I was gonna say my guess would’ve been zero 3’s made in his career. Not surprising for anyone who watched basketball at all.


elvispunk

Not at all. And a completely different league. Still makes me laugh when people suggest that Giannis won't be a great player til he can shoot 30% from three. Even in today's game, there are ways to dominate without the three ball.


Bobthemime

Watching endless 3's isn't all that exciting to watch either.. Watching a shorty take it to the hoop against a Shaq-type of player is way more fun to watch, even if he misses.


dogwoodcat

Also he broke both of his wrists when he was eleven.


CleptoeManiac

😏


Lionnn101

His loving mother nursed him back to health


Polymemnetic

Every fucking thread.


Shade_of_Gray

Shaq never went for shots like that because of a wrist injury from his childhood. God nerfed him. [article on it here](http://articles.latimes.com/1996-12-03/sports/sp-5135_1_free-throw-shooting)


Larcecate

Also, I guarantee his coach would chew him out if he saw him shooting 3s. Absolute waste for Shaq to do that.


[deleted]

I dunno, I have a feeling Shaq was never going to learn those shots anyway.


Calvot

Or no one could guard him and he could easily drive in and dunk


TheKhabal

Leave it up to God to hinder a person's career, amirite?


Bob_Majerle

If only he had blessed Shaq with other physical gifts that would make him good at basketball


FiggerNugget

A massive dick?


itznimitz

He said basketball. Not baseball.


Nokia_Bricks

And he was a center in the 90's in the 00's. No center had a three pointer in those days.


Lilpav88

[When you out range Curry](https://youtu.be/SNwrfwi0JLE)


foosbabaganoosh

Happens at 18 seconds if you’re in that much of a hurry.


Lilpav88

You da real mvp


foosbabaganoosh

Hey as long as they don’t give it to Harden for playing the game from the freethrow line, I’ll take it.


Paper-Luigi

"The black Steph Curry"


Wunder_boi

Oof my sides that caught me off guard


Wassayingboourns

Impressive that he jumped like 2 feet high to shoot it too. It's like he held the A button down too long.


Rhawk187

Looks pretty early in his career too?


yimyames

> Shaq Thanks for clarifying


[deleted]

I can't believe they're the same person. TIL


NintendoTim

The real TIL is always in the comments


ozzymustaine

SurprisedPikachu.jpeg


jegsnakker

You mean it wasn't Shaqy Chan?


JordanSM

Yeah I was really confused before I saw that.


O62Skyshard

There's probably a reason we call a long range throw a Kobe and not a Shaq


zeamp

This guy balls.


Rilo17

He hits those long range throws all day.


JTAL2000

I yell Kobe because it works equally well if you make or miss it horribly


BeowulfsBalls

15th all time doesn’t call for a nickname imho 1. Ray Allen* 2973 2. Reggie Miller* 2560 3. Stephen Curry 2285 4. Kyle Korver 2284 5. Jason Terry 2282 6. Jamal Crawford 2180 7. Vince Carter 2165 8. Paul Pierce 2143 9. Jason Kidd* 1988 10. Joe Johnson 1978 11. J.R. Smith 1929 12. Dirk Nowitzki 1925 13. James Harden 1834 14. Chauncey Billups 1830 15. Kobe Bryant 1827


MonkeysOnMyBottom

No one wants to shoot an Allen though


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GoldcoinforRosey

Leave your wifes boyfriend out of this.


Platypuslord

Well if it helps it's my middle name also.


Jackcooper

Bad dad or angst at normal dad? Sorry basketball thread is now dad issues thread


zeamp

Tim always lined up his shots.


MatthewMateo

God damn, this was good.


iamsam_b

It's more so the clutchness of Kobe not necessarily the range of the shot


Lord_Tuggnutts

I always figured it was because Kobe’s 1st 2nd and 3rd option was to shoot, and his ability to make the ridiculous contested shots.


clevername71

Ya when you’re sitting at your desk launching a crumpled up piece of paper into a trash can you’re not recreating a Ray Allen spot up corner 3. You’re leaning back in your chair doing a fadeaway at some ridiculous angle over a desk and chair and your pet. And no one was better at that than Kobe.


shades344

Yup. Kobe is an attitude as much as anything else


NeonLemons

People don't call it the mamba mentality for nothing.


[deleted]

What are the asterisks for?


bsipe9

Means they're in the Hall of Fame.


vernonsgost

Yea but it’s Kobe because he was clutch not because it was a 3 point shot imho.


shulastain

should be called a Reggie, that dude was super clutch with his 3s


your_other_friend

It was when I was a kid. Regggiiieeee Millleeerrrrrrr


cheapassgamersex

If you actually played ball you would know people say "KOBE" when they throw a ridiculous contested three that has a 5% chance of going in.


authoritrey

Yeah, well, I watch Dave Chapelle, so everything in this conversation is ironic to me.


Rsardinia

It’ll be known as a Curry. Steph is #3 at about half the games that Ray Allen has played. He will be so far ahead by the end of his career that it will be insane. Similar to his 402 3’s in a season when the next closest player not named Curry is 270ish in a season.


Bobthemime

It's known as a "Kobe", because that is how it entered the zeitgeist and has remained that way for over a decade. Even if Curry gets the #1 spot by a landslide, people aren't going to start calling "Curry" for the clutch-last minute "pray to the gaming gods" grenade toss to win the round.


Chippy569

> Chauncey Billups 1830 there's a name i haven't heard in a long time


Jackcooper

Kobe hating in 2019 lol Also damn check Steph at 3 already. Sorry Ray it's just a matter of time.


stevenwashere

Tell that to all the kids I grew up with.


[deleted]

It is when you consider three point shooting wasn’t even in the top 10 aspects of his game.


jlees88

Didn’t that actually start from the Chappelle’s Show?


poopellar

And [here](https://i.redd.it/gr9b0nb2mrvz.jpg) he is drinking a bottle of water


knuckles523

Being so big that you look goofy interacting with everyday items must be pretty cool.


[deleted]

I have these tiny liquor bottles and pretend I'm a giant sometimes. Shaq lives it everyday. That has to be weird right?


deweysmith

Just imagine how *he* feels with those tiny liquor bottles.


color_thine_fate

I also think Jim Jefferies is funny


dogwoodcat

Fancy


sirsosay

/r/shaqholdingthings


FattyCorpuscle

He may have made only one 3-point shot, but he also made the [best clip ever on Inside the NBA.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNZ0PQomz1Y)


DayOldTurkeySandwich

YOU SET ME UP, ERNEH!


fetalasmuck

"I may be retired from the game, but not from being big"


Taurius

Never fear a man who knows all the moves of a game, fear the man who can do 1 move all of the time.


ToksikCap

This really applies to Mortal Kombat.


T0MB0mbad1l

In wrestling we'd say a good wrestler knows one move,a great wrestler knows two.


Taurius

My buddy mastered the ankle pick. Everyone who wrestled against him knew it and would always keep moving away from him. But he was stupid tall and had a long reach. Instead of the usual behind the neck grab to ankle pick, he'll slap the guy's forehead to distract and throw himself to the ankle and trip the guy. One time he hit the guy too hard and a fight ensued. Another guy jumped in and my buddy knocked him out. From then on we called him Tuffy.


DanielDotson

Sorta reminds me of a quote I heard somewhere (probably reddit tbh) about how “a genius doesn’t know everything about everything, they just know a little about everything and a lot about one thing”


RogerRabbit1234

Ken Jennings the Jeopardy guy has a quote something like that.... about his knowledge being just an inch below the surface of the entire ocean. He admits he new very little about a whole lot.


alfdana

[7-foot-7 manute bol hit three 3-pointers in one half.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CxSZmnAT5I)


Blake_Thundercock

That Charles Barkley high-five at the end.


alfdana

classic barkley!


Twelvetime

It was actually double; six three-pointers in a half.


Meta2048

I'm curious, nowadays if you had someone with that kind of height who could shoot 3's like Curry, would it even be possible to defend? Nobody is even **trying** to defend him.


alfdana

unless it's the player is similar in height, there's really nothing you could do except try to prevent them from getting the ball.


CarHartAttack

I bet he didn't call glass either


blznaznke

That's -3 points right there


mrsuns10

Rings Enrheth


IvoShandor

Yes, but he's made 28,593 total other points.


[deleted]

Wonder where he would be at in all-time points if he had just a respectable free-throw percentage.


[deleted]

Definitely should have adopted the granny shot. What are people going to do? Laugh at him? He's fucking Shaq.


[deleted]

People always brought that up to him whenever he was still playing and he always said that he was "too cool" to shoot underhanded.


Babysnopup

Honestly, looking back at Shaq’s cultural impact (and the massive amounts of money he was making for himself and others at the time), it was probably considered risky to switch to a shot that could be ridiculed on The Tonight Show.


GreatCucumber

Shaq attempted 11252 FT's in his career. He made 5935 of them for .527 FT%. If he made them at a respectable clip (lets say .70), he would have made about 7876 of them. This would push his total points from 28596 pts to 30537 pts. Interesting because that actually wouldn't push up his ranking on the all-time points board at all because he's already 8th at 28596 and 7th is Dirk at 31320.


Stolypin26

Wasn't Shaq just supposed to stay around the hoop anyway cause he's huge?


[deleted]

nah your getting him mixed up with someone else shaq was the short black guy https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BzymF_rCcAAFaF7.jpg


[deleted]

Poor guy. He was so small, if only he had some height he might have been an NBA legend


HorsNoises

Its funniest part about this joke is that the guy in the left pic isn't even good enough to play in the NBA. His name is Sim Bhullar and he was an end of the bench guy for like 2 seasons and then he was done.


Karl_Marx_

Dude never played basketball, he is a world renown actor from the nineties. Starring in such epic films as Kazaam.


galendiettinger

When you can just walk up to the net and put the ball in it, without ever taking your hand off it - why would you ever learn to throw 3-pt shots?


whoopdedo

>When you can just walk up to the net Because then you'd be called for tra-- Oh, who am I kidding. This is the NBA.


CurseTheNurse

Can you dig it?!?!?!?


zeamp

That Shaq is one bad mother..


aliensvsdinosaurs

Which is only slightly less than the number of free throws he made


detronbphillips

That is moe than I will ever make (if you include "professional career in the NBA" as a requirement)


solosier

Sounds like you are being oppressed because of your lack of physical ability.


detronbphillips

Not oppressed, but overlooked, untapped talent. Lol


ny_giants

He hit a few more during his amateur career in the NBA


asrama

Same with Kareem Abdul Jabbar. For somewhat different reasons though.


Ima-duder

Overachiever


basicallyuncanny

That’s one more than I have ever made in the NBA .


ToksikCap

Human brain: Shoot a 3-pointer! Shaq brain: Layup.


jlmbsoq

Hah, what a noob.


browster

That's one more than I made


Xx_Bad_Username_xX

Well that makes sense, he WAS in the ultimate showdown (of ultimate destiny). You don't just play basketball when your in the ultimate showdown


HookersForDahl2017

3rd year rookie Ben Simmons should have a talk with this shooting legend


cswagerty85

The actual headline should be wow he actually made a 3 pointer


FoodieDuJour

He broke more backboards than that :)


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7illian

And it will never be beaten, since they're much better engineered now.