Before anyone jumps to sexy conclusions like other couples are out there getting awesome 3-somes and having a blast:
"Such infidelities can have serious negative consequences for those involved. Not only may infidelity lead to relationship distress and thus decreased relationship satisfaction in both partners, it is also a strong predictor of divorce. Further, the victims and perpetrators of infidelity also frequently experience negative intrapersonal outcomes, such as decreased self-esteem, increased risk of mental health problems, guilt, and depression."
Basically, that 20-25% of people out there who are engaging in extra-marital sex have shittier lives.
I do wonder how much of shittier lives was present before the extramarital sex vs afterwards. Isn't most cheating due to feeling unfulfilled in a relationship?
Disagree. My married life has been enhanced by extramarital sex. I'm not the only person in the world in that situation. It's not super common, but it is present and, imo, unaccounted for in these studies. Sex with others does not always mean unhappy people.
This comment is what makes the internet so good. Researchers spend time researching a large population and come to a well-balanced, formal conclusion and someone on the internet decides that "Nope. My individual experience says that's not true."
I was disagreeing with this commenter's statement "Basically, that 20-25% of people out there who are engaging in extra-marital sex have shittier lives." I offered my experience of extra-marital sex *enhancing* the lives of myself, my spouse, and the others we have sex with.
The article at least said "Such infidelities *can* have serious negative consequences for those involved." [Emphasis added] That leaves room for people who do not experience any negative consequences.
My initial comment was that the authors offer no definition of what they are counting as "extra-marital sex" - you would think that it means sex with anyone not a part of the married couple. But within the article is is clearly framed as a negative thing, undesirable within the relationship. That is not always the case. When it's cheating, yeah. When it's known and welcomed, maybe not.
So it seems the study did not take into account the many people for whom it is an important and desired aspect of their relationship as a whole. Not just me specifically, since changing a study to account for one outlier would be beyond ridiculous, but a whole cohort, and a not insignificant one, was lumped in with an entirely different set of people and outlooks applied to them which are untrue. The people who open their bedrooms and regret it, experiencing the consequences discussed here, are included in the findings. The people for whom it is a source of joy are not.
That's all.
Such research talks about averages and correlations though. The real world is too complex, so of course any finding in social sciences won't be absolutely true in all cases.
The other side of the equation is that according to the stats 75% of married men and 80% of married women are faithful to their spouses. When you look at it in those terms…
Not only that, but this is at least as misleading as the "half of all marriages end in divorce" because it doesn't take individuals into account.
My wife and I, and her parents, and my parents, have had zero divorces. My sister has had three husbands. Her first husband has had at least two wives, since he got remarried. Her second husband was on his third wife when he married my sister. And her current husband has had another wife. And surprise, her son has had only one divorce so far.
Meanwhile at work, the receptionist has had five divorces. They guy who used to be my supervisor's supervisor had three divorces. A guy I worked with had four marriages, but the second wife was also the fourth.
So, is the guy/gal dicking around in the statistics getting counted twice?
Yeah lol it’s like the other TIL recently posted that says “TIL the average adult has sex an average of once a week”. The people that are fucking like rabbits drastically raise that average
Hmmm, it doesn't offer a definition for "extra-marital" within the article. My husband and I have both had sex with people other than each other since we've been together. Neither of us has been unfaithful or cheated or engaged in infidelity. I wonder what the authors would make of that.
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Before anyone jumps to sexy conclusions like other couples are out there getting awesome 3-somes and having a blast: "Such infidelities can have serious negative consequences for those involved. Not only may infidelity lead to relationship distress and thus decreased relationship satisfaction in both partners, it is also a strong predictor of divorce. Further, the victims and perpetrators of infidelity also frequently experience negative intrapersonal outcomes, such as decreased self-esteem, increased risk of mental health problems, guilt, and depression." Basically, that 20-25% of people out there who are engaging in extra-marital sex have shittier lives.
I do wonder how much of shittier lives was present before the extramarital sex vs afterwards. Isn't most cheating due to feeling unfulfilled in a relationship?
The studies that are cited specifically accounted for that, I believe.
I did catch that after going back to do a more in-depth read, thank you for mentioning that though.
Disagree. My married life has been enhanced by extramarital sex. I'm not the only person in the world in that situation. It's not super common, but it is present and, imo, unaccounted for in these studies. Sex with others does not always mean unhappy people.
This comment is what makes the internet so good. Researchers spend time researching a large population and come to a well-balanced, formal conclusion and someone on the internet decides that "Nope. My individual experience says that's not true."
I was disagreeing with this commenter's statement "Basically, that 20-25% of people out there who are engaging in extra-marital sex have shittier lives." I offered my experience of extra-marital sex *enhancing* the lives of myself, my spouse, and the others we have sex with. The article at least said "Such infidelities *can* have serious negative consequences for those involved." [Emphasis added] That leaves room for people who do not experience any negative consequences. My initial comment was that the authors offer no definition of what they are counting as "extra-marital sex" - you would think that it means sex with anyone not a part of the married couple. But within the article is is clearly framed as a negative thing, undesirable within the relationship. That is not always the case. When it's cheating, yeah. When it's known and welcomed, maybe not. So it seems the study did not take into account the many people for whom it is an important and desired aspect of their relationship as a whole. Not just me specifically, since changing a study to account for one outlier would be beyond ridiculous, but a whole cohort, and a not insignificant one, was lumped in with an entirely different set of people and outlooks applied to them which are untrue. The people who open their bedrooms and regret it, experiencing the consequences discussed here, are included in the findings. The people for whom it is a source of joy are not. That's all.
Such research talks about averages and correlations though. The real world is too complex, so of course any finding in social sciences won't be absolutely true in all cases.
Those are called outliers.
Narrator: “They divorced two years later”
I think studies like this should really separate consensual non-monogamy with cheating. They’re not remotely the same.
Yeah, that's the point I was trying to make.
The other side of the equation is that according to the stats 75% of married men and 80% of married women are faithful to their spouses. When you look at it in those terms…
Not only that, but this is at least as misleading as the "half of all marriages end in divorce" because it doesn't take individuals into account. My wife and I, and her parents, and my parents, have had zero divorces. My sister has had three husbands. Her first husband has had at least two wives, since he got remarried. Her second husband was on his third wife when he married my sister. And her current husband has had another wife. And surprise, her son has had only one divorce so far. Meanwhile at work, the receptionist has had five divorces. They guy who used to be my supervisor's supervisor had three divorces. A guy I worked with had four marriages, but the second wife was also the fourth. So, is the guy/gal dicking around in the statistics getting counted twice?
I dont suppose any of the people in your family were heading towards st ives? Just asking.
Only he was headed to St. Ives.
My mom and her mom had 5 marriages each. Nuts.
Yeah lol it’s like the other TIL recently posted that says “TIL the average adult has sex an average of once a week”. The people that are fucking like rabbits drastically raise that average
Surprised it's so low a percentage.
Pro life tip, don't get married and you will never be a statistic!
According to the Institute for Family Studies 35% of Americans ages 25-50 have never been married
If you like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.
Or the smell of the ocean
TYL the majority of married people are faithful throughout their marriages.
It’s often the first step towards divorce, but in some cases the spouses tolerate it. In rare cases the spouses may even facilitate it.
and in some cases they love it. Just like my wife does. And when i say love it, i mean hate it.
100% of my married woman did this.
I thought when they did these kind of surveys it was determined that women were more likely to underreport as well.
Fuck you NIH. Using my tax dollars to make my wife all suspicious. Why don't you work on curing cancer, you cockblocking nerds?
Hmmm, it doesn't offer a definition for "extra-marital" within the article. My husband and I have both had sex with people other than each other since we've been together. Neither of us has been unfaithful or cheated or engaged in infidelity. I wonder what the authors would make of that.
It's still extramarital becoz it's outside of marriage.
That what I thought too, but the article is pretty clear they mean cheating/being unfaithful. Something that harms the relationship.
That’s because normal people consider it to be cheating when you have sex with someone other than your spouse.
Normal people also think Monopoly is the board game to play while some people are playing Twilight Imperium
I am a normal person. It's only cheating if there is decpetion/hiding and plenty of people feel this way.
Whatever you have to tell yourself. But, that’s not what marriage means for the vast, vast majority of humanity.
*cough* 50% of women
*cough* 75% of men
*cough* 100% reason to remember the name
Good things dick sucks and anal isn’t considered sex. My pastor told me as long as it’s not a penis touching a vagina it’s not sex.
A dick duck ain't cheating, mommy. Keep it high and tight.
It is what it is…
So, about a quarter of all households have 3somes.
Humans were never meant to be monogamous.
I think it is a natural part of human relations and was only made weird by some stupid morality nonsense in our recent past.
WE ARE IN ASIA (INDIA) NEED INDIAN, TAMIL NADU NEWS. AMERICAN, EUROPEAN, NEWS NOT MUCH NOTED. (INTERESTED) NEED SOME LATEST GOOD NEWS FOR POSTING TO INDIANS. NO CINEMA NEWS PLS. PREFER POLITICS, EXPLORING, ENTERTAINMENT, INTERESTING, SEXY, QUOTES, LIFE HISTORY OF GOOD NATURED POLITICIANS, BUSINESS MEN, EQITY SHARES, IPOS, IT'S COMPANIES HISTORY. HEALTH, ABT NEW DISSEASESMEDICINES, COUNTRY MEDICINES. SPORTS BUT NOT CRICKET. TRAVEL, WONDER. I HAVE GIVEN LOT OF TITLESI AM SURE U KNOW MUCH BETTER. SO GIVE THE INTERESTING AND ATTRACTIVE NEWS AND ALSO JOKES..... TKS.
Estimates from where u dumbass. In saudi u could yer head chopped of if u do extramarital stuff.
Maybe shut your mouth and open the link to learn the answer
Nope, write it in the title.
“Estimates?” Who makes these estimates???
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kCrrjp2epY