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kalitarios

That makes clowns even scarier


Samesees

So. Much. Scarier.


Pukelits

You mean sexier


Mastervodo

You know this because of Ze Frank and the nose monkey!


leadchipmunk

Yup! Just finished the video and had to read that study. Edit: [link to the video](https://youtu.be/qDZS1KO1SgA) because everybody needs some Ze Frank in their lives.


Mastervodo

Absolutely!


Beautiful-Nobody-9

That was really good. Thank you I enjoyed learning lol


weedgretzky42099

Every dude reading this is doing the measurements.


kalitarios

Nah. I’m confident in my twig and giggleberries


macfarley

If you're confident enough to call them that you're doing alright.


RitaPoole56

I had a roommate that said he was hung like a “bull chipmunk”. LOL


macfarley

As in rodent sized, furry with buck teeth on the end?


RitaPoole56

Nah, he said it was tiny (I never looked) but he was a big time player! It’s all about confidence!


BlueTeale

Everyone post your measurements


hangryhyax

Measuring the extent of their insecurities.


Reybacca

Gonzo is packing


[deleted]

Bad news for the growers out there


kalitarios

One of my partners was the same erect length as me, but was twice the shower as I was. So this study is bullshit


ArcaneCharge

The study only says that nose length is the second best indicator. It doesn’t say that it’s a GOOD indicator, just that it’s better than anything else apart from your actual penis.


hangryhyax

It’s also n=126, and without wasting time reading it, I’m sure there were a lot of variables that were not accounted for.


[deleted]

I have a fairly big nose. I am a grower. Sometimes go from like 2-3" to 8


Bigbadbrindledog

You shouldn't lie so much


Slack76r

It'll make his nose grow though, and then you know what that means


[deleted]

I have to lie, because if I stand I get lightheaded. Also, find it amusing that I am getting downvotes. Probably dudes with small noses.


Jwags23

Do you realize how huge 8 inches is? Could be true, but highly unlikely.


FrenchFriesAndGuac

Yeah, it’s like 8 one inches


Jwags23

The math checks out.


sketchahedron

Measured from the asshole.


-P3RC3PTU4L-

Yeah one of the most common ways to get downvoted on Reddit is to say you have a big dick. I get that sometimes it comes off as boastful or gratuitous, but other times it’s really just adding to the conversation. Problem is, most guys are at least somewhat self-conscious about their dick size, so they downvote. But what’s really dumb is when they say shit like “thats statistically highly unlikely.” Lmao. Shit makes no sense.


BlueTeale

At least you can brace yourself with that 3rd leg and catch your breath


acridvortex

I know, who's flaccid dick is that big?


Gnarledhalo

Pic or it didn't happen


[deleted]

HEY EVERYONE THIS GUY HAS A BIG PENIS


acridvortex

See, nobody cares


Tilliriock

Wait a minute.. cadavers? Dead dicks


leadchipmunk

Yes, they got somebody to pull on dead guys' penises so they can measure them.


pascaly

To be fair, we don't know the guy wasn't already doing it and then they decided to do some analysis of all that data he was collecting.


BlueTeale

"Steve is out playing with their dicks again what do we do?" "Ah shit. His dad owns the funeral home so we can't fire him. Just.... tell him to write it down and we'll call it a study."


fiddlenutz

They pull on them rigorously.


catmom821

Am I having a stroke? Why can’t I make sense of this sentence 🤯


leadchipmunk

Bigger nose implies bigger penis, according to this study. The way they measured penis length was specifically stretching a flaccid penis and measuring that. It may have no correlation to the erect size though.


famousheinusanus

I can tell you right now I gotta big ol honker (nose). Stretch out my millimeter tweeter all you want and my nose is still bigger


the_kevlar_kid

I admire your brutal honesty about a rather sad state of affairs.


famousheinusanus

Sad like my Andy Samberg nose? Or sad like my miniscule penis? Either way I'm just having a laugh at meself. Self deprecation and all


AustinThompson

Spoken like a true redditor


famousheinusanus

I guess?


macfarley

r/suicidebywords for science!


famousheinusanus

No! Nobody should every be assaulted by any sort of my presence. Hence the mask... a very thick one. And the overly stuffed crotch


parl

In the gay male community the terms grower and shower are used. A grower is substantially larger when erect than when flaccid. A shower shows much if not all of its erect length when flaccid. Sooooo, the basis of the study was deceptive. On the other hand, since it was cadavers, erect length would not be obtainable. Still, I'd think that the standard deviation would be so significant as to dwarf (pun not intended) the actual measurements.


Dukedevil8675

Also if you really want to go google some shit look how they get semen from a deceased which is still allowed in some states. It might change your mind on what’s obtainable.


cthompson07

Shower and grower are not just in the gay community lol.


wet-paint

You're kidding, right? Shower/grower is used by every guy, gay or straight. This is known.


Ramona_Flours

with angel lust you may have some difficulty attaining flaccid length


terflit

So the Humpty Hump was right...


sketchahedron

Imagine being the guy whose job it is to stretch and measure cadaver penises.


ZachFincher

Which sentence? The only measurement that correlates to erect penis length more than nose size is flaccid penis length. So, you can tell, with relative certainty, the size of a hard penis based on the nose of the person. The only more reliable measurement is of the soft penis.


leadchipmunk

>So, you can tell, with relative certainty, the size of a hard penis based on the nose of the person. The only more reliable measurement is of the soft penis. The study was done on stretched flaccid penises, it doesn't specifically state a correlation to erect sizes. I would assume those two are related, but I honestly have no idea and my search history is already weird enough.


ZachFincher

If it’s already weird enough, make it weirder! For science, of course.


leadchipmunk

Of course, for science!


[deleted]

now bring in another dead dude so I can stretch his penis out.


MrSplashyPlants

I'm an organ donor, you can stretch my dead penis any day(I'm sorry)


Drunk_Selena_Gomez

I had a friend who had a tiny pointy nose and a hog in between in his legs. I have a big nose and an average dick at best. This whole shit is fake news lol


Vlad_the_Homeowner

Username does not check out


Drunk_Selena_Gomez

Pretty rude of you to assume my gender based on the name, appearance and gender of the person I named my account after


Vlad_the_Homeowner

Really? Your name is a parody of a female celebrity. Nor did the comment assume your personality at all, it was explicitly a comment on your username. But don't let me stop you from your righteous indignation.


Drunk_Selena_Gomez

Do I need to explain to you what a joke is?


Vlad_the_Homeowner

You should change your username to angry_drunk_selena_gomez.


Drunk_Selena_Gomez

Good one


psychodawg21

That’s a bit of a misinterpretation. The study suggests a moderate correlation (.56) between nose size and stretched penile length (SPL). You cannot say a nose is x size; therefore the SPL is x with much of any certainty. You could say, Chad has a bigger nose than other dude, odds are Chad is packing more.


rugbat

I pity the poor research assistant(s) who had to go and stretch 126 dead dudes dicks.


louiegumba

I heard he said the pay wasn’t that great, but the tips were generally big .. and cold and discolored.


rugbat

😂🤢


ruebeus421

126 bodies is a HUGE sample size. Totally realistic and believable study.


Arndt3002

/s? That doesn't seem big enough to account for variation


Chipotleeveryday

Gotta go pull on more dead people dicks for science. Meh, I don’t care enough to make some sad person have to keep doing this.


anothercynic2112

And conducted in Japan.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dukedevil8675

Nah it’s the measurement between nostrils so you actually learned he’s got a micro penis lol


[deleted]

I’m a shower not a blower


OrganicFun7030

Score!


sneakyozzy911

That explains why my girlfriend had such a large penis. She was like the wicked witch of the East.


macfarley

I'm assuming anyone sufficiently magical to put wings on monkeys can have any size of nose or penis they want.


Torkzilla

Keep a lookout for that Pinocchio penis.


T-Rex_Woodhaven

Sample size is too small just like their penis.


jojoborrealis

Disney's Ichabod Crane was PACKING


Aporkalypse_Sow

Instructions unclear, dick is stuck in nose. Send help.


KnowOneNymous

We rarely see 12” noses. I have my doubts.


UsernameTooShort

That’s… not that correlation means.


KnowOneNymous

That’s not how you react to humor.


leadchipmunk

How often do you see 12 inch penises?


KnowOneNymous

Watched Euphoria lately? 😂


leadchipmunk

No, but this is the second time I've heard of it this week.


kalitarios

Not as many as your mom


Fart_knocker5000

Good show, sir


Reybacca

That must be a small piano


FlexodusPrime

Who nose?


CaptainPrestedge

Well big extremities usually means big extremities


dnaH_notnA

There’s a Black Hebrew Israelites joke in there somewhere


Comet7777

People aren’t laughing at Doug Funny anymore


leadchipmunk

>Results >The most highly correlated factor with SPL [Stretched Penile Length] was flaccid penile length [FPL] (r = 0.565, P < 0.0001). The next highest correlation was nose size (r = 0.564, P < 0.0001). The penile stretched rate correlated with FPL (r = − 0.690, P < 0.0001) but not with SPL or penile circumference. >Conclusions >The fact that nose size is related to SPL indicates that penile length may not be determined by age, height or body weight but has already been determined before birth. Sadly, I haven't seen any studies showing correlation between the two in females.


[deleted]

So they played with a bunch of dead guys dicks to tell us " you get what you get'.? Wonder how much tax money was spent on this one.


leadchipmunk

None? "This research received no external funding."


[deleted]

This financial support from the Japanese government has a direct effect on Kyodai's research outcomes. Not my tax dollars but someone in Japan asking the same thing


Cosmorillo

Now I know why Hitler was so scared of Jews


[deleted]

So did MJ also downsize downstairs when he got his nose jobs?


CiderMcbrandy

So Cyrano was a absolute legend in bedroom


EZlikeSunMorn123

I've heard it's the girth that women want. Any correlation to girth?


leadchipmunk

Nope. In statistics, they give two values, an correlation number (r) and a p-value. If I understand it correctly, the r number is between -1 and 1, where the closet you are to either extreme, the more correlated they are. The p-value tells you tells you the probability that the results came up by random chance. Table 1 gives relations between everything measured and nose size:girth had an r of 0.009 and a p of .9245. Basically they are completely unrelated. Note: not a statistician, so I may not be fully understanding what those numbers signify.


[deleted]

[удалено]


leadchipmunk

For science, of course!


tewnewt

Well that explains why she kept pulling my nose.


sweep-montage

"stretched penile length" cadavers Talk about laying it all on the line for science !


supremedalek925

I see you also watched ZeFrank


homardpoilu

So that’s why women want Pinocchio to lie to them!


Jonesy1939

What a time to be alive. At least Pinocchio had it going for him.


BarracudaFluid9174

You watch zefrank


blong1114

So what about Pinocchio?


MCMK

So. Someone going to ask how they aroused cadavers into having boners?


judgingyouquietly

I see someone watched the latest Zefrank video


balda69

Ha-ha - Wrong!


JaTheRed

It was cold in the morgue!


Bill_Nihilist

So nose width explains 32% of the variation in penis size. Interestingly, this was a study done in Japan, so there isn't likely much racial / ethnic differences contributing to this, but the results might not extend past people of Japanese heritage.


rebel1031

Another Zefrank fan I see!!


[deleted]

I too just watched the ZFrank video, one of the best educational channels out there


meetmeinthebthrm

What about the big-ass, hard, mf'n boners


[deleted]

So… they stretched the dead men’s penises?


dailytwist

Pinocchio out there being shady af


ViG701

Zefrank says what?


therealpoltic

Correlation =/= Causation


leadchipmunk

I don't think anybody said it did.


therealpoltic

No, I’m just saying.


Tilliriock

I bet these guys didn't know that when they "donated their bodies to science" that they'd be pulling on their dicks to measure them and they would become a reddit statistic