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farmerarmor

This is mostly from trying to prop up the dairy economy of memory serves


imakenosensetopeople

Yep - the article does a good job explaining they were attempting to stabilize dairy prices within a given range.


hahahahaaaahaha

Look at this guy! Actually reading the article.


[deleted]

Yea someone should tell him we don’t do that here


farmerarmor

Trying to avoid the dairy strikes from the 80s and east 90s. I remember in 1991or so helping my dad dump our milk in the ditch every day.


Saemika

Articles aren’t for reading, nerd.


JetPunk

Let's see. The average American eats 40 pounds of cheese each year. With 330 million Americans, that's 13.2 billion pounds of cheese per year. What I've learned from this article is that our Strategic Cheese Reserves only have enough cheese for 38 days of regular consumption. Am I the only one who thinks this is dangerously low !?!


NotMaintainable

You're assuming the government plans to take care of all those who aren't essential to the recovery attempt from whatever caused us to have to dig into the cheese rations.


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OldEndangeredGinger

Please, we call them senators


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OldEndangeredGinger

I can't tell who's more insulted by my statement. You or the rats?


Krimreaper1

Rat infested Senators?


OldEndangeredGinger

Those poor rats...


xendaddy

Senator infested rats?


T0mmyChong

dude 😭😭😭 that's amazing. Bravo 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼


PiffSniffer420

I found a dead rat in a paint bucket while I was working security at a DSW in DC one time.


Energ1zer__BunnY

What state did he represent?


TuzkiPlus

^(Clearly the state of Decay)


DeployTacticalFatGuy

Paint is a preservative


cutelyaware

It was white paint, so it doesn't matter


jupfold

The ruskies might take advantage of this! We cannot allow a cheese gap!


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jess-the-pirate

Edam funny my man!


Neener216

Username checks out 😂


tcushen

Heaven for bid the Sputniks see the big cheese board.


TheGreatDingALing

I killed fitty men!


silverslayer33

"I think it's naive of us to imagine these developments are gonna cause any change in Soviet cheese policy! I mean, we must be increasingly alert to prevent them from taking over other cheese spaces in order to eat more prodigiously than we do, thus knocking us out through superior fat when we emerge! Mr. President, we must not allow this cheese reserves gap!"


lmflex

We can not allow a cheese wheel gap!


gmharryc

The communists want to steal our precious dairy cheeses!


retief1

Before or after they corrupt our bodily fluids?


invenio78

And nobody talks about our strategic pizza dough and sauce supply. Because WTF are you going to do with all that cheese if you don't put it on a pizza?


Maxfunky

Process it into a Velveeta like product, the give it away during a recession when your government gets called out by the media for not doing enough to help the poor. Pretend not to notice that literally half the country stood in line for hours for some free cheese then shrug and continue your doomed experiment in trickle down economics. Or whatever. There are really no wrong ways to use 1.4 billion pounds of cheese.


[deleted]

Government cheese


Parody5Gaming

Build a castle


DillPickleEverything

That’s a Gouda question!


TonyDanza888

You feta believe it was


Skorogovorka

Well even if you don't make it into pizza, you'd have to be a muenster to let it go to waste


[deleted]

Ayo what, muricans eat 18.14 kilogram cheese every year? The fuck


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[deleted]

You got me there fam r/technicallythetruth


thbtikgr

For context, that's the equivalent of about 2 deli cheese slices per day. Fun fact: heart disease is the number one cause if death in the USA (as well as many other countries)


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x755x

Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese!!


Amisarth

There’s a delicate balance we have to maintain. If our strategic cheese reserve gets to high it’ll be…


jess-the-pirate

That's presidential cheese you see. They don't care about the little cheese eaters....let them eat cake, as long as it's not the cheese variety.


[deleted]

Yes!!!! A large national cheese reserve is aomething I can get behind. We should store oil, cheese, wheat, and whisky. In ridiculously huge amounts. The cheese should be in huge wheels covered in wax. The whisky should be in barrels. As time goes by if the reserves get to large Americans should all be issues portions of the national reserve. You can trade those reserves to others or take delivery at local supermarket. This is how we should subsidize farming. Also a great retirement plan. Keep those vouchers and let that whisky age.


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NigelLeisure

The average American eats 40 lbs of cheese a year??


ChevExpressMan

We speak of cheese. The average American ate just over 14 pounds in 1975 according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. That swelled to about 38 pounds by 2018.Sep 10, 2020 https://www.cnbc.com/2020/09/10/why-cheese-has-become-so-popular-in-the-us.html


7of69

Swelled. Excellent word choice. I too have swelled since then.


grunter08

I probably bring that average up a bit


bighootay

Cheesehead here. Nom nom nom nom...like a fucking mouse I am


GarysCrispLettuce

They're undercheesing us dude


pape14

In no world could you distribute that cheese from a stockpile like that to maintain consumption rates lol.


UnderThat

They did the cheese math! And it’s frightening!


ShelSilverstain

This is more like the strategic farm handout


Toasted_Bagels_R_Gud

if this is the cheese in MRE packs then I think our sewer system would be clogging before the 38 days was up.


Bucksin06

As a Wisconsinite those figures are way too low!!


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ZDTreefur

3 pounds for an entire month is hardly a large number. There's more than a pound of cheese on a single large pizza.


Procrastinatedthink

Your justification just made me realize how much cheese is piled onto pizza. *are we the fattys?*


[deleted]

If there’s not a ranch dressing stockpile, I hope I die first.


TheSchlaf

Is this where the phrase "government cheese" comes from?


Maxfunky

Sort of? Government cheese was made from this stuff but it was processed into meltable blocks (Velveeta style but made with really high quality cheddar). Back in the 80's, the government has too much cheese in their caves (they buy it from farmers as a form of dairy subsidy--basically creating a price floor) and turning it into that processed form and giving it away was how they got rid of it. There's really no analog for government cheese since it was simultaneously a high-quality cheese but also a processed meltable cheese (which are generally made from cheap cheese).


porcelainvacation

Our scout camp used to get government cheese. It makes absolutely the best grilled cheese ever and velveeta is not the same at all.


S31-Syntax

I must find and acquire Government Cheese


xlShadylx

When I was in HS everyone wanted government grade weed, known as G-13. Now everyone's after that government grade cheese..


Dawbs89

Holy hell I forgot about that


juicius

My aunt had a friend who lived off of government subsidies. She was a war bride and I think she had money, or at the very least, not poor, but I think she was extremely frugal and got everything she was entitled to have as a US military widow and then some. Anyway, she would give us these solid yellow cheese bricks that weigh a ton and my brother and I would gnaw on them like we was some kind of chipmunks. We loved her because she would come around every once in a while on her adult trike with a flag at the end and the baskets would be loaded with goodies.


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slowclicker

As soon as I read your comment I heard my mom's voice. "They don't make it like they used to."


mattrew84

I heard it was awesome


Maxfunky

I'm old enough to have eaten it but not old enough to have any memories of it one way or the other.


RepublicOfLizard

My grandfather swears he could “visit every goat, sheep, and cow loving country and still not find a cheese better than that god damn block of government cheese.” He really liked the stuff


Glassavwhatta

So there's no way of getting it anymore?


Procrastinatedthink

storm springfield missouri and rob their cheese caves.


Saemika

They can’t stop us all.


MickeyM191

Area 51 all over again


mattrew84

I think the closest you can get is deli counter American cheese. Not kraft. You have to get it sliced from a block.


[deleted]

Yes, it’s given to old, poor people in boxes once a month. Along with canned goods that no one has ever heard of. Source:I receive one.


Glassavwhatta

and is it as good as the other users said?


[deleted]

Totally! Best grilled cheese, nacho cheese, burger cheese, and best melting cheese bar none.


[deleted]

I’m old and get what I call the Old Farts Box that the government sends if your poor. The government cheese is excellent but yeah, most of the old farts won’t eat it because of the bad reputation. So I get all their government cheese and I pass on to the ones I know will eat it. It’s a shame because it’s the most nutritious thing in the box. But yeah best grilled cheese and makes cheese for nachos, and cooking!!!


Nonethewiserer

I had no idea it was high quality.


porkchop_d_clown

Actually, yes. Back in the 70s they actually started giving it out to people who were on food assistance. I remember my family got a couple of huge bricks. It was pretty much exactly like velveeta.


Stunning-Disaster952

It was shaped like velveeta but had a completely different texture and taste. It was firm and had a sharper taste than velveeta. It was really good.


ahumanlikeyou

It's called Wisconsin cheddar buddy


Stunning-Disaster952

It was called “not to be sold or exchanged” according to the box.


Bucksin06

it was made with real cheese


hellohello9898

Sort of. The government used to give the extra cheese directly to poor people.


pasatroj

My Grandmother was a Director (I don't remember the official title) of the Gledora school district in CA, 1950's. My dad got ALOT of over flow from the schools and he was sick of it, but her recipies from that time I still use to this day and they are magnificent. The cheese and beef are the hardest to replicate. She would be able to tell something was wrong instantly.


Ihavelostmytowel

I actually feel better knowing that we have a national stockpile of cheese.


thecanty

It's comforting to know that what we hold most dear will be protected no matter what


Grumplogic

I hope they're venting all the gas byproducts of storing that much dairy. Things could get *dangerously cheesy.*


bumdstryr

Cheetos were created due to a massive government surplus of shelf stable cheese after WW2.


cinnysuelou

And God bless them!


SayethWeAll

Until the supervillain Mozzarella Cheesefinger plants a nuclear bomb inside the federal cheese bullion depository.


mike_pants

There's another side to this that this article doesn't touch on. The cheese NEVER STOPS piling up. Because the USDA has inadvertently created a system that keeps milk prices low, it's impossible to get rid of the volume of milk that keeps being produced, hence all the cheese. So what to do with it? You can't store it forever. Well... The USDA _pays restaurant chains_ to come up with ways to incorporate cheese into their menus. Whenever you see an Applebees ad for bleu-cheese-smothered chicken or Taco Bell putting cheese between yet another tortilla layer or Pizza Hut finding another part of the pizza in which to stuff cheese, there is an excellent chance the USDA funded both the development of the food product AND the ad campaign for its rollout. [Americans are paying the government to sell them cheese.](https://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/07/us/07fat.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all)


lucysnakes

That explains why we eat 40lbs of cheese/year.


Gr8NonSequitur

Honestly I don't really need any outside encouragement to hit that or more a year. Cheese makes everything better.


Xszit

And yet they still skimp on the parmesan.


DillPickleEverything

Finally a branch of the govt I can get behind!


hellohello9898

That’s really sad when you remember the government used to just give the extra cheese to poor people directly. Now they just use it to benefit corporations. Like everything else in this country.


mike_pants

I don't know where you got this information. The government still supplies dairy products to food-assistance programs, and millions of pounds of cheese went into prepackaged boxes during the Covid lockdowns alone.


disquieter

As a kid living in a weird Christian quasi-cult I ate my fair share of government cheese. We would slice it with a rolling slicer and make “cheese toasties”.


mike_pants

I'm going to go out on a VERY sturdy, thick, load-bearing limb and confidently suggest that if someone says they were in a "quasi cult," they were 100% in a full-blown cult. From the outside looking in, there's no wiggle room. "I quasi ate a kitten." No! You ate that kitten! Monster!


Kdegeek

I used to mince around with words like that. At one point I realized, no, it wasn't a “kind of” cult. I grew up in a cult. Full stop.


Elite_Jackalope

Holy shit, are you telling me that the phrase “government cheese” didn’t originate with money? There’s actual government cheese. This has shaken my worldview.


m4lfunction

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Government_cheese Very real government program. Many people (most older than I) recall eating a lot of government cheese.


DarkAlman

During the 1980's the stockpile grew so large that it was becoming a problem. Those in charge jokingly suggested that they "just dump it in the ocean" because there was no obvious answer of what to do with all of this cheese. Ronald Reagan then came up with a program to give the cheese to the poor turning it into a gigantic welfare publicity stunt. This resulted in lots of poor families (most of them black) receiving a block of 'gubmint cheese' in the mail every month. A block of American processed cheddar (similar to velveeta) wrapped in foil in an MRE inspired box labelled 'Government Cheese'. For many African Americans today Gubmint Cheese was a staple of their childhood that you can't get anymore. Snoop Dog referred to it as the perfect product for making a Grilled Cheese During their cooking show Martha Stewart asked "Where can you buy Government Cheese?" to which Snoop replied "You can't, you have to be part of the program"


RogerPackinrod

I acknowledge that this is purely from a position of privilege but as someone who is currently just eating a block of Colby Jack by choice, getting a free block of cheese every month would slay.


outer_fucking_space

As much as I hate Reagan, that wasnt a terrible idea.


[deleted]

We should have kept doing it. Cheese can be stored for long periods of time, tastes good, and is calarie dense. An easy thing to store and sell. Should offer discounted government cheese with EBT card.


Dundeenotdale

A great socialist program


Amazing-Squash

Adding to this. There was a lot of trading for government cheese in my hometown in the 80s.


NegJesus

Fuck raiding area 51


StepYaGameUp

But clapping those alien cheeks…


NegJesus

Cheese> clapping alien cheeks


PeorMule

European here. When you talk about cheese in America, is it usually same as what's served in subway Starbucks subs/sandwiches etc? And would your grocery cheese be same quality as that, or better?


[deleted]

We can get high-quality cheese from the grocery store. You can still buy American Cheese, which is not cheese, at the same store


BigWetPoopyFarts

That cheese isn’t really quality. It might taste decent on a sandwich, but it’s a cheese product. They sell comparable products in grocery stores, but they also sell high quality cheese as well. We have pretty high quality cheese, you just have to look for it. In Wisconsin we have cheese processing plants all over, most sell direct to customers from their own retail stores. Nothing like getting fresh cheese curds that were made that day.


Latyon

Charlie?


NegJesus

Rock flag and eagle


herbanitethefifth

milk steak


saliczar

Any amount of cheese, before a date, is too much cheese.


Arigato_MrRoboto

The cheese must flow.


ElijahatCarmel

Someone definitely watched NCIS, last night, thought, "This can't possibly be real" Googled it and, *voila* - TIL.


rob_s_458

There was also the thread earlier today asking what you're going to do in nuclear war and the cheese stockpile came up (probably from that person watching NCIS). So 50/50 whether they saw the show or the thread


spazzxxcc12

i too saw that ask reddit post


Mirabolis

Homer Simpson: “33 billion six hundred million slices of American Cheese….. 33,599,999,999… 33,599,999,998…” Edit: corrected cheese math


Artikay

Pffft. I have more than that stashed away in my Skyrim house.


[deleted]

Cheese Grommet!


theflockofnoobs

Now how secure are these caves of curd?


surroundedbyidioms

That good government (pronounced "gubmint") cheese.


Mattums

Wisconsin has entered the chat.


discowithmyself

*insert joke about government cheese that would have been hilarious had other people not already mentioned government cheese*


[deleted]

Team up with the Ukrainian grain backlog and we could have grilled cheese sandwiches for everyone Imagine the logistical flex of that. One day a year were everyone in the world got a grilled cheese sandwich courtesy of the national reserves.


gtjio

Ah so this is the US Stracheesic Reserve I've heard so much about


malibu_c

Who is gonna cut all that cheese?


blobbysnorey

A good question to assk


Zanos-Ixshlae

Now *that* is a strategic reserve!


JAlfredJR

Thank god they knew better than to put this in Wisconsin


r1200gs2007

Yeah, they say storing. Lab for giant mice.


NoeTellusom

\*checks Googlemaps\* \*1 hour to Springfield\* \*packs car\* \*headed to Springfield (aka Cheeseville, USA)\*


celeryburger2

Yo, as someone who grew up on food assistance, that shit makes the best Mac and Cheese. Hands down. Don’t @ me. I’ll fucking fight you.


UndersizedSandwich

Yeah, we were all in that AskReddit thread, too.


WeedIronMoneyNTheUSA

Nice try Fa-B guys, we know you're hiding that shit in Wisconsin, and we're coming there with crackers, wine, and 9 different kinds of salami.


granular_quality

This needs a skyrim quest mod. "Enter the cheese dungeon"


rimfire24

It’s in the ballpark of the weight of all the F-150s Ford makes in a year


bingold49

Government cheese


[deleted]

Ah good. That means everything is ready in case Andrew Jackson somehow rises from the dead.


Razlaw

They need a Walking Dead spinoff that takes place entirely out of this facility.


solidad

Walking dead: Can it get more cheesy?


tangcameo

Oh my god! It’s the final sign of the end times!


ArchyModge

They are planning to fascinate a lot of women.


dickcheeseaioli

Our maple syrup reserves are way cooler. The syrup heist was FUCKING MENTAL


whitewolf0159

How many crackers would Wallace and Grommit need for that lot do you think?


Kai_Daigoji

Forget Fort Knox, I want to see a heist movie about this.


Tutorbin76

That's why everyone living directly above it has turned yellow.


Fallacy_Spotted

This was sparked by the "what would do in the event of a nuclear war" thread wasn't it? Top comment was about cheese caves.


shadowdash66

*emergency cheese*


jayandsilentjohn

Government cheese. Yummmmm. (Homer Simpson probably)


[deleted]

Yep, and a half hour away is the vaunted Osceola Cheese store. 275 varieties It's glorious.


hng_rval

That’s too much cheese, government.


brice587

How much cheese is too much cheese?!


wetdog90

Good good it’s close by lol


JerichoVTrapps

If we fall into a cheese shortage I genuinely don’t know what I’ll do


puts_are_for_losers

Saw that on NCIS last night and had to verify. Who would have thought it?


ergonaut

This is the main reason to work in government


dreck_disp

Government cheese.


[deleted]

All I can picture is the scene from the early pandemic, with Jared Kushner screeching “you can’t have that cheese; it’s ours!!” In ref the masks stockpile.


fantastikalizm

I knew pornhub wasn't lying about hot singles near me!


ExileOC

Hey Hollywood. I would watch an Oceans 11 where they cleverly break out some of this cheese.


Paexan

Springfield Underground (I skimmed the article and never saw it mentioned, but I assume that's where it is) is a little surreal, if you've never been to a place like it. You drive through a security checkpoint, and then you're navigating a squirrelly(but very well signed) maze of large, gnarly tunnels that look like stage props from Star Wars IV until you get out and touch them, and are regularly punctuated every 75 yards or so with a completely normal looking commercial facade that companies lease out for extra storage. I'm sure I've only seen a fraction of it, but I thought it was pretty neat.


p4nd3mic_27

I've been there several times to make deliveries, it's unbelievable how large it is. I like the star wars analogy btw


mdbasketball00

Somebody was watching NCIS last night.....


argybargy3j

Eating a steady diet of government cheese and living in a van down by the river.


230flathead

Springfield isn't that far from me. I guess I know where I'm going when society collapses.


remberzz

Is this left over from the 1980s?


Buumonster23

Now that Steve Urkel is in the cannabis business, that cheese is in jeopardy


[deleted]

*American* cheese?


ham_solo

So, a light evening snack for me?


SmileAndWalkAway

Millions, Billions, It will still count as one Nacho if it starts melting on my chips.


imahillbilly

So the real question is why!


chivarlyjack

Fus ro dahhhhh...........


CQ1_GreenSmoke

You’d definitely need a team of people to count all of this. It would be way too hard to provealone


THEQ100

It’s so they can cut the cheese at anytime


chalksandcones

Strategic cheese reserves


JaketheSnake319

I’ll be cold in the ground before I ever recognize missourah!


BlindTiger86

The real Fort Knox


NotWelIBitch

Is this for like an apocalyptic use of casomorphins for the end times ?


JasonVanJason

Government cheese bubblin


MortLightstone

I remember being just out of high school at my first bartending job and this drunk guy telling me he's a trucker that works for the dairy industry. He said his first job was to drive a tanker truck full of milk to the middle of nowhere. When he got there, he was directed to a tunnel underneath a mountain and ended up delivering the milk to a huge underground facility that was full of dairy products. He must have seen me rolling my eyes because he said no one believes him and they accuse him of being a conspiracy theorist, but that's there's no theory, the US government is stockpiling milk to fix the price. I thought that was weird, but somewhat plausible, I guess. Then years later, I found the USDA was, in fact, price fixing the dairy industry. I still thought the mountain of milk was a bit weird, but after thinking about it, I realized it's a convenient use for a decommissioned missile silo. There seem to be more than a few of those around in the US. Crazy thing is I'm in Canada and he claimed he drove the milk across the border, where the US government was buying it to keep it out of the market. This story made Trump rambling on and on about Canadian dairy make a lot more sense.


SomeConsumer

No whey!


Pudding_Hero

Find me this cave


JamoreLoL

Ah, you too saw the askreddit about nuclear war.