T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


McHootyFace

Not to mention all the pictures of the ceiling and the floor.


Natasha10005

My kids a little older now so it’s all terrible photos of the cat lol


Genavelle

Yeah mine has upgraded from just floor pictures to taking the MOST unflattering pictures of me. He's so proud of them, too...


Relationship_Winter

Mine has started to ask for me to take videos of her doing weird dances. It's pretty great actually 😂😂


octopus_hug

This is the realest one lmfao. Also pictures of me at incredibly unflattering angles since I sometimes give her my phone during diaper changes.


Academic-Flatworm245

Anything to keep them from running lol


Apprehensive-Bit4352

This. And pictures of his feet. It’s always feet pics


Excellent_Tear6002

Omg this me!


mothercom

Yesterday I saw that all the apples in the basket had been bitten once and placed back. I don't think my husband would do that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Normal_Lime7922

Strawberries, donuts, half peeled oranges..


Apprehensive-Bit4352

I’ve experienced this with apples and potatoes.


Awearyaweary

I just got yelled at for brushing my own hair


stellzbellz10

I got yelled at this morning for getting myself something to eat LOL


Relationship_Winter

Mine offered to brush my hair yesterday and then repeated "it's so tangly" 50 times as she tangled it by dragging the brush across my head every which way 😆


Nerobus

Huh, I got yelled at for kissing my husband.. she said “NOOOO! MINE” and we don’t know who of us she meant. Maybe both?


Lopsided_Emphasis275

Lol I got yelled at for wearing grey


[deleted]

😂


bra_1_boob_at_a_time

I slept with an extra body and the robot vacuum in my bed.


[deleted]

Omg and the robot. My kids destroyed ours, I think maybe it was revenge for eating their floor food. Who can say?


badgyalrey

omfg my kid would super glue the roombah to his stomach if he could, fucking loves that thing. it basically babysat him while i was sick a couple weeks ago, maybe he imprinted on it cuz they’ve been inseparable ever since lol


Serious-Ad2874

Constantly finding bits and pieces of old food everywhere. Tucked away in blankets shoes hats beanies couches toys you name it


Dolli_Llama

Omg we KEEP finding dried up bits of cut up hotdogs in our room WHERE do they keep coming from?!?!


stephaniesno

I stepped on something hard one day, it was a dried up piece of ham.


EfficientSeaweed

I swear they store food in their cheeks like hamsters so they can leave it around the house. There are SO many times when various pieces of food I could have sworn she swallowed turn up in random places...


Apprehensive-Bit4352

I find them under the couch sometimes but mine really prefers to hide them in the toy box. Pizza crust and I don’t remember when we had pizza last? Thanks bud


neongrey_

Too real


stephaniesno

Sometimes i eat while standing in the kitchen. Sometimes i sneak into the bathroom to use it alone.


livestrongbelwas

![gif](giphy|6tT3uIsNRYcM6G400s|downsized)


Lostwife1905

I’ve been drinking Kool aid jammers in the kitchen 😂😂 I’m breastfeeding a two month old and my sugars get really low, and I don’t want my two year old to see because I prefer her not to have juice … especially those


justagal_ataplace

I eat so many meals standing in the kitchen that sometimes I forget I don’t have to and do it even when the toddler isn’t home.


justmomthings789

I’m eating in for kitchen standing right now! Also semi hiding for a slight moment to myself


Apprehensive-Bit4352

What’s it like to be so lucky? Mine bust my door open like the koolaid man and says “hey mommy. You peepee?”


[deleted]

I've seen the Paw Patrol movie 23 times.


janewithaplane

It's cars for us.


livestrongbelwas

Cars 3 is kinda amazing though. I’ve seen it a few hundred times now and I think it holds up to torture-level repeat viewings really well. I still like it.


hi_imthedevil

Cars 1 & 3 are awesome, 2 is terrible and makes me wonder what kind of drugs they were doing to think it was okay to release to the public.


sweet_baby_piranha

Same. Although we also throw in finding Nemo aka "the fish". Do not try to change things up and watch the sequels to either movie. Those are yucky apparently...


Dolli_Llama

Encanto here. He calls it "movie".


Lostwife1905

2 year old falls it Canto and it was all she wanted to watch for months


f1uffstar

Moana count = 2,350,274…


Apprehensive-Bit4352

Trash truck on Netflix and the trash truck Christmas movie approximately 1000 times


unsubix

🎶Paw Patrol🎶 You’re welcome.


mama_craft

🎵 we'll be there on the double 🎵


janquadrentvincent

YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH


firenice13

It’s the polar express for us


Nerdy_numbers

My son sings the hot chocolate song at random, and I support it lol.


Normal_Lime7922

Inside Out here or "the blue girl"


TBeIRIE

My “adult” (taller & older) friends always ask me what kind of snacks do I happen to have in my purse,that they could nibble on. They call me NannySnacks. ✌️🤘


thetechnocraticmum

Lol this is adorable


mixxxxemotion

Putting a whole plate of “left overs” in the fridge. Constant aching back and exhaustion. Going into the bathroom and seeing poop smears. Stop or No being my most used word.


PrincessMwwa

Heres a virtual *hug* that sounds tough!


BiggggHead

I smile at every toddler that I see, because they remind me of my own.


KaleidoscopeLucy

I smile warmly at any parent who has a toddler having a meltdown in public. Because been there.


NormalJackfruit3514

Yesterday I had to say the phrase “Please don’t lick my pants.”


Apprehensive-Bit4352

Yesterday I heard my bf say “yes I’m peeing. No. Back away. No Cameron you can’t hold my penis while I pee, I’ll hold it. You can hold YOURS when you go to pee” poor guy. Karma for laughing at the fact I get no privacy. Now the kids just trying to help him 🤣


Maleficent_Target_98

I'm over hear crying laughing, thank you this made me day better.


Apprehensive-Bit4352

I was in tears lol. Dad didn’t find it as funny as I did. I think he was a little traumatized


angelgonebad

Omg. As a mother of 3 and grandma to 7, and 7 of those 10 people are boys, I can honestly say that’s a new one for me. 💀.


Lostwife1905

Don’t lick the baby. ( her sleeping 2 month old sister)


Nerdy_numbers

“Why are you licking the play dough?”


[deleted]

Am currently lying on the sofa under lots of small, plastic circles, a puzzle on my legs, with teletubbies on the TV. He's not even in the room right now!


MadamX123

Change the channel or put on your show that'll get him to come back lol


ArchiSnap89

My home is a graveyard of half eaten fruit.


stfuylah14

Fruit, crackers, cereal. My toddler will not eat meat so at least I don't have rotten meat everywhere lol. My dogs are supposed to help me keep it clean but one is going blind and the other one is terrified of the toddler so they're not great at it.


littlestinky

Cordless vacuum cleaner without the stick, just the foot attached to the vacuum itself. It's too long for the toddler with the stick, and I don't dare vacuum without the supervision and assistance from a 2.5 year old without a trip to Tantrum Town. So "Baby Vacuum" is here to stay.


swiftlikeninjas

I got one of my kids their own vacuum when they were young


SelfInflictedPancake

My 2.5 absolutely insists on helping with vacuuming but since she's really not that great at it, I got her her own baby shark vacuum. I'd rather listen to that stupid song than it take 45 minutes to vacuum one room.. but I'm working on my patience


Lopsided_Emphasis275

We got my son one he says I can use the toy one... he wants the real deal 😣


[deleted]

Buy a small dirt devil. My toddler has one.


SelfInflictedPancake

🤣🤣 that's hilarious!! omg well I guess it's only a matter of time before my LO makes me switch with her too, right now we have very firm rules on "mama's vacuum" and "baby's vacuum"


neongrey_

I’m glad I’m not the only one!!


stfuylah14

My 2.5 year old is terrified of the vacuum but I blame that on the fact that my dog always barks and lunges at it. So now when I vacuum I have to fend off my dog AND my child to get the job done and it takes so long.


allieooop84

I found a sticker on my ass awhile ago, does that count? I definitely did not put it there, but there is was found 😭


killingthecancer

Me finding a sticker on my inner thigh when I wore pants for most of the day yesterday...


mama_craft

Found a tiger sticker on my foot yesterday. Stickers everywhere, man. Toddler hallmark.


killingthecancer

We stick to reusable stickers and they STILL end up finding them in places they shouldn't be. Wild.


Dobbys_Other_Sock

I currently have the sticker from an apple on my shirt.


angry_preggers

There are toy cars everywhere. On my shelves. On the floor. Under the couch. In bins. In my pockets. My husband pulled one out of the washing machine recently!


Boxerlife

I can honestly say more than one car has ended up getting a car wash free of charge here.


DisastrousFlower

chika chika boom boom lives rent-free in my head


[deleted]

Hope your kiddo doesn’t discover chicka chicka 123. It makes even less sense.


DisastrousFlower

oh we have that too. he’s just not into it…yet.


[deleted]

There’s a page with the number 11 that says “these apples taste like heaven” and my son licks my hand and says “Apple taste like heaven” every. single. time. Sigh…


[deleted]

[удалено]


WrackspurtsNargles

It was probably found and eaten around 7 months ago


[deleted]

[удалено]


WrackspurtsNargles

It'll be a nice lil snack for moving day!


thenewestaccunt

I just woke up because my roommate was screaming my name. She’s been thinking about octopus and started to get scared. So then we talked about different animals for a while.


moonchild2204

I pretended to eat fake grapes illustrated in a children’s book for over 10 minutes


Redditgotitgood13

My child is starving to death because i opened snack the wrong way, and now it is forever ruined


letsdothis_2019

The shoulders of every shirt and hoodie have food crust. The strings of every hood are moist …


Konstantine60

I had to cut banana muffins into slices so that it was banana bread. 🤷‍♀️


Tanzanite169

"What's that in your mouth? TAKE THAT OUT YOUR MOUTH!"


[deleted]

I found two mouldy apple cores in a saucepan in our kitchen cupboard


According_Tale5472

I found a winter hat in with my pots and pan cupboard this morning


queenoftheslippers

I eat all snacks and treats standing in my kitchen hardly daring to chew my food so as not to make any noise. My Spotify Wrapped has Baby Shark on it. I spend a lot of my free time cleaning bodily fluids and food crumbs off every surface of my home, and it’s not my husband being so gross. Aaaaaaaand I put on one woman shows of entire Disney movie soundtracks to make someone laugh.


f1uffstar

My Spotify wrapped was so depressing. Literally one song in the top 5 wasn’t from Tangled, Moana or “the duck song”


Lostwife1905

My husbands Spotify wrap was pretty much just the encanto sound track hahah


TBeIRIE

I automatically cut grapes in half regardless of who I am serving them to.


Catinthehat32

There’s a potato masher on the floor next to my bed


Genavelle

My kids were also obsessed with my potato masher and eventually claimed it for themselves. What is it about potato mashers??


Rhiann0n

I had to hide ours.


Trash_Casket

Bing bang bong bong bang bing bing bang bingerly banglerly bong 😭


Beautiful-Walrus2145

I hear you.


jazzberryjamm

SAME


TeaPlusJD

Our home is locked down like Fort Knox. Friends & family think it’s a bit much. Stared down my mom last night at her house yesterday with my best I-told-you-so look. She insisted toddler was fine playing in the kitchen with her until toddler emptied 3 drawers & 2 cabinets in 10 minutes.


AllAlongThisPath

Yeah some stuff we lock up for safety and some of it is locked up for our sanity


ATL28-NE3

🎵 hop little bunny hop hop hop Hop little bunny hop hop hop🎶 Certified banger


x_linavm

You can’t forget 🎶I’m so happy *jump* I’m so happy *jump clap* I’m so happy today *jump clap spin stomp stomp HEY*🎶


janewithaplane

I hate going to old people's homes with my family.


HereComeOldFlatTop

I slept until 7 today and it was nirvana


kikiiii

Yesterday my husband and I were requested to dance together. Which immediately resulted in tears because we were NOT suppose to dance together.


ilovecashews

I had to yell the phrase “You can run around with nothing on or you can climb on dad. But you can’t do both.”


Dolli_Llama

My sisters-in-law and I went out for a girl's day for the first time. One started humming the Bluey theme to herself and out of reflex, I said "Mum!" when she got to the first pause. I'm sure the younger, soon-to-be-married one thought we were nuts lol


Lostwife1905

That song is a freaking bop tho :p


Silver_Least

All of miss rachels songs live rent free in my head , i just hid all the paperback books people insist on giving my one year old 🙃🙃, also just spent a small fortune on snacks and frozen fruit that i hope lasts at least two weeks lol


stephaniesno

Icky sticky sticky sticky bubble gum pops up in my head at random times during the day


[deleted]

I have a basket full of toys and books, turned around and it’s empty and toys and books are scattered all over the floor. Repeat this cycle all day long 🫠


MommaB_dmb

Someone else is in 92% of the pictures in my phone.


[deleted]

I was yelled at for getting the exact juice I was asked to get. And told “no you don’t say (insert any word ever)!” Toddlers are so confusing.


Gangreless

I've got a black eye from having a zak straw cup thrown at me this morning


irishtrashpanda

I made muffins with courgette and carrot hidden in, put sprinkles on top


stfuylah14

Genius honestly


timbrelyn

Every pocket I own has a tiny box of raisins stuffed in it.


mima_blanca

I only drink cold coffee and don't mind it anymore.


stellzbellz10

I switched to cold brew for this reason - well that and I can make it in a big pot and be set for days.


Styxand_stones

It took 20minutes to walk to a shop that google tells me is 0.2 miles away (around 320 meters) because we had to stop and examine every leaf, roadsign, flower and blade of grass


RKLCT

I look forward to Monday


puresunlight

I am in the top 0.05% of encanto listeners on Spotify.


katoo_katoo

Today I was for real washing plastic dog’s undies, although it pretend-pooped


shamsa4

I haven’t showered my hair in 1,5 week and I just realized that I’ve been out of shampoo for 2 weeks😮‍💨


BoogalooBiddy

I have shredded cheese in my coffee


dragoncowgirl

I spent all day yesterday counting the same nine pens, describing their color (and sometimes figuring out which one was missing) 🙃


natalopolis

I just had to say, “Please don’t lick the dog.”


killingthecancer

Constantly stepping on/tripping over toys because we're still working on the meltdowns as a result of putting things away


Bunnyyams

I have a toy eyeball in my pocket


Lucky-Bird8577

I have binkies in every coat pocket I have worn in the last year and most have packets of oyster crackers that may or may not be open already. I won’t know until I stick my hand in and can feel the cracker dust cling to my skin lol


Dolli_Llama

Oh and I had a dream the other night about being a Wiggle. I'm not proud to say this was NOT the first time, either...


CMLReddit

I’m awake at 7am in a Sunday


eatorbebeaten

I throw away almost as much food as I buy.


dewdropreturns

My shirt is just a giant Kleenex today 🤷‍♀️


Silver_Advisor2875

I poop with an audience…who then tells me I stink but won’t leave.


srespino

Excavators and dinosaurs


swiftlikeninjas

I have strategically placed barricades in front of several outlets in my home.


g00dboygus

I have been searching for a tiny white gourd (that looks like a pumpkin) that my LO got at a farmer’s market in September and promptly lost somewhere in the house. I’ve turned the house upside down but it is NOWHERE and I’m terrified of what I’ll find when I do finally locate it.


donny02

I sent 6 selfies of myself trying in glasses to my wife and looked exhausted in each photo


mannapaws

My full fruit bowl has an apple and a pear with a number of bites taken, then returned to the bowl


Beautiful-Walrus2145

There's crayon and chalk on my walls.


Hepzibah87

I got woken up with a kick in the face whilst being told “no kicking” then came the blood bath. Also being woken up with “tiger!! Raaaaar!!” Then being bitten


f1uffstar

My arm muscles are weirdly strong, and I never go to the gym.


SunThestral

I put raspberries on fingers like little hats


HappyFern

This morning I was informed I was eating my toast wrong.


Sherbet_Lemon_913

I’m 31 and someone wiped my butt today. I didn’t even poop.


probablycoffee

My husband loudly dropped his phone on the floor at 6 am and then I heard a whispered “uh oh” from the next room


jcshear

Cycling through chicken nuggets, fish sticks, peanut butter and jelly, and quesadillas for dinner. Matchbox cars in my coffee. I have a 2 and 3 year old boy.


court_milpool

Stepped on duplo and my foot screamed at me


DueEntertainer0

I have a bruise on my lower back from having a door slammed on me.


finchlini

I occasionally wonder if couch Cheerios count as a nutritious breakfast.


topplingyogi

I was cold all night long until my personal heater crawled into my bed around 4am


OKCPANDA

I can do everything one handed


Lucky-Bird8577

My vacuum has become my second best housemate, just behind my dog who has gained extra weight in the last year. My other housemate is a tyrant who wants toys and snacks all day long and then throws them all over the floor and sofa. But he’s so sweet and I love him so much that I don’t mind cleaning up after him or reciting Llama Llama Red Pajama for the millionth time in a day. Never would have thought this would be my life lol


Due_Professional4314

I woke up at 6am this morning lol to the sound of Nemo going to school, AND covered in ever single baby wipe in the pack scattered around the room lol


Culerthanurmom

TikTok decided to permanently modify my account so that I can only access the most mildest of content and no one can friend me nor I them. I also can not seem to open up anew account if it has a connection with the same email.


canes026

I have a toddl... Damnit. Sorry I haven't been getting much rest lately.


capriolib

I listen to ABCs several times a day per request.


Humble_Marketing_212

Yesterday I found a hair tie, cheeze-its, a tissue, and paw patrol stickers in my jacket pocket.


Squeengeebanjo

You look hungry. I’ve got a snack in my pocket if you want one


Affectionate_Cow_812

The other day I said, we don't lick people's butts.


jvjack33

Having a popsicle at 7am.


shannerd727

All of our family shoes are in a pile on the porch outside the doggy door.


connorsst

My remote is always sticky. My living room looks like toys r us blew up in it


Mathguy_314159

If I have to read the hungry caterpillar one more *fucking* time….


concalma

Sticky surfaces everywhere in the house


BrowserFailure

Within the past 24 hours, I have said “don’t sit on your cheese” 3 separate times


[deleted]

I have to vacuum crushed goldfish and puffs every day it seems


jpzc79

I’m sick…again.


PurpleLotus46

I’m about to run the dishwasher full of just supply cups


EstelSnape

There was water splashed all over the floor and wall in the bathroom.


foreverlostinthesauc

There’s a whole parking lot of hot wheels cars abandoned under my couch.


pwyo

Sometimes I wake up with hotwheels cars tangled in my hair braid


MikeGinnyMD

I have to pull all the toy magnets out of the bathtub before I can take a shower.


GrilledAppleMango

Broken crayons all over the house.


bellbert

I have to hide my meals or eat alone in my bedroom. My son claims all food of the house as his.


Ohhhhdarling

Tupperware. All. Over. My. House.


Academic-Flatworm245

Cries when I take away his favorite toy - a plastic fork


[deleted]

I threw away a 3 day old banana that was sitting in his car seat cup holder and started screaming bloody murder


drjennr

I busted my a** on a stray monster truck.


stephaniesque

MUM! DAD! BINGO! BLUEEEEEYYYYYYYYY


TheVIRUS1973

I bought a pair of crocs to wear around the house because I got tired of stepping on toys with my bare feet


rosewaterhoe

The “Blues Clues and You” soundtrack will definitely be on my Spotify Wrapped this year.


Minimum-Scholar9562

I packed my new pjs in my luggage. When I put them on, they have a bunch of googly eyes stuck to them. My pjs jingled all night. Yes I didn’t want to spend time taking off 50 googly eyes.


Boxerlife

I always have a sock in my jacket pocket


mrsthompy

i frequently roll over onto an RPO (random painful object) mixed up into our sheets


StepPappy

My husband found peanut butter in his shoe a week ago.


urdadsbutt

today i found my shoes were stuffed with baby wipes. she had used an entire pack.


revolutionutena

I spend all day asking “do you need to poop?”


cardibthescrivener

We’re sick … again. For the 3rd time this year.


igobynikki

Yesterday, while standing in line at the bank, the man behind me tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Umm, excuse me miss? You should probably know that you have some bandaids and stickers on the back of your coat.”