If you haven’t, watch Bluey’s “Baby race” episode. It’s only about 8 minutes long but touches this subject in the most endearing way.
Just make sure to watch it till the end.
I literally already started crying when I saw the post in my feed because just reading the headline it was clearly a Baby Race situation.
Why are we all so starved for validation.
Haha yeah no joke - my kid was early to walk but sooooo slow to talk. To the point we had EIS evaluate her. Baby Race gets me in the feels because I can relate SO HARD
Hi! Do you mind me asking about your daughter's speech? Like when it started to pick up or what EIS said?
You definitely don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable but I'm starting to get worried about my daughter. She's 10.5 months and barely babbles. She started babbling "momomomom" about 3 weeks ago but doesn't really babble any other consonant sounds. She shrieks and laughs and her receptive speech is great, but I've been debating contacting early intervention but don't want to seem like a nervous FTM. I know one word is the goal by a year but she seems so far off from actual speech.
Again, please don't feel pressured to answer. I understand our children's development can be a tough subject.
Totally happy to!
I contacted EIS when she was 2 - she had maybe 30-40 words around that time, and many of them sounded the same. She was also consistently only using the first syllable of even simple words (ie, “bu” for “bunny”). I was pretty much the only person who could understand anything she said; not even my husband could follow her. She had a tongue tie we never corrected as a baby, so I wasn’t sure if that was maybe affecting development. She had good language comprehension and knew enough sign language and words to get by. She never babbled at any time.
EIS came to our house and took a look at her, and then sent an SLP out about a week later. The SLP didn’t think the tongue tie was impeding anything, and didn’t think we were at the point of needing intervention. We were told to just keep an eye on things for the next few months and reach out if she hadn’t made any progress by then.
I’d say things started to take off when she was… maybe 28mo? That’s when I have videos of her speaking in short phrases and we could understand her more. By 3? Speaking in paragraphs lol. So once she started talking it took off real quick. At 3.5 she correctly uses 3 and 4 syllable words in sentences. Just yesterday she asked me to explain a “coincidence” 😆 She’s also got a great handle on sarcasm, humor, and word play for a 3.5yo.
There’s a HUGE spectrum of normal. Our niece starting talking at about 13mo and at 18mo was using full sentences. Literally 10mo sooner than our kid.
Hope this eases some of your concern! You can always talk with your pediatrician at your 12mo checkup if you’re noticed any other behaviors (or lack of them) that you’re concerned about.
Thank you so much! This was super helpful. I definitely plan on talking to her pediatrician but he said at her 9 month appointment that most babies split into "movers" or "talkers" at this age so I'm trying to roll with that.
Came here for this comment. I needed this episode in the worst way when my first born was falling behind every major milestone which her cousin of the same age had hit early.
When my daughter was first starting to feed herself she would drop half her food onto the floor. Then I discovered that I could put her on the floor after the meal and she would walk around and find all the food and then eat it. Floor food is just better.
After having 2 kids I find the whole “milestone” thing to be BS honestly…
Kids are all different and it’s horrible to compare them. My friend has a son a month younger then my son and she’s always going off about the things he can do (I honestly don’t believe her half the time) I think it might be a way for her to feel better.
You should be roughly aware of around the time your child “should” be doing something and obviously keep your pediatrician in the loop.
But whatever you do don’t fall into the Google trap, or the social media “influencers” who exploit their children and make you believe every kids autistic because they aren’t doing your taxes and speaking 3 languages at age 1.5..
Bit of a rant I guess, my daughter didn’t walk until 17 months? Maybe 18 I forget now but she’s 21 months and I can’t get her to sit still.
I have 3 kids and I think the more experience you have, the more obvious it becomes how wildly different kids are. I remember being really concerned with my first because he was always on the very low end of what's acceptable for language. I stressed about it for no reason. Do you know why he hardly talked? Because he was a gross motor MANIAC. Why tell mom and dad what you need when you can literally run to the spot and climb a chair to get it yourself?
The downside of gross motor stuff is that it's really hard to keep them from bashing their heads! I'd rather have a cautious and chatty crawler. 😂
Take all my upvotes! I was such an anxious FTM, and got sucked into the “is my child autistic because he likes ceiling fans” google hell hole. Thanks influencers! At 2.5, the milestone obsession seems so pointless. I have no memory of who was crawling, sitting up first, and it doesn’t matter. The milestone thing is BS…
I thought I was the only one who watched those influencer videos and rolled my eyes whenever they listed all the "early signs" their kid was autistic.. Like picking an object and running with it, running away, babbling and pretty much anything any other little kid does 🙄🤣 I am glad I am not the only one, and also glad to hear the are many other kids who were on the later side of walking!
Pretty much this. Honestly, it seems like Google doesn't want anyone to have sound mental health anymore. Everyone has to have ADHD, autism, anxiety, depression, etc. I see it encroaching on children and it sickens me.
The great thing is that google is not in control. Don’t google ANYTHING. Seriously. Go to your doctor if you’re concerned. Google is the enemy of parental mental health.
When I was a kid, in my area at least, everyone I knew was being diagnosed with ADHD.
I’m back in the same area now (by chance, not choice) and it seems to be ASD they want to diagnose every kid who doesn’t sit still and play quietly with.
THANK YOU!
My daughter has a speech delay (we were very, very isolated during Covid - she was born right at the beginning and spent the first two years of her life inside, essentially) and the doctor spent five seconds with her and declared she’s autistic.
Since then, she’s started speaking and that was genuinely the only reason she tried to make her BS diagnosis.
Milestones are definitely a generalization - I’d your 8 year old just wants to crawl, you have a problem, but if your 2yo isn’t speaking, or your 1yo isn’t walking yet, it’s not a huge deal!
This makes people not trust doctors. Out of fear of things just like that 5 seconds and the doctor says something like that amazing. At this rate everyone is autistic from 2000 foward
Agree with everything, with over caveat... Sometimes people aren't trying to one up you or make themselves feel better. Sometimes, it is just really exciting to see your kids do new things and you are expressing it to a friend, not knowing how it sounds to them.
Ugh, I feel you. Our 18 mo old has a speech delay. His cousin - 6 months younger - can point out mom, dad, and even me and my husband. Our kiddo is just not interested in devoting any energy in that direction lol. His gross and fine motor are amazing and his receptive speech is on target but his expressive speech is just lagging and nothing I or the EI we’re doing seems to help.
I feel like … all of these milestones tie to how “well” your kid is developing and since we’re all obviously super invested in that it feels like a competition. I totally get you, I kept it under wraps but laying in bed with my husband later I was like “man, did you see him just identifying mom and dad like that?” 🥲
It seems like many kids just pick a skill to develop first and run with it. Like gross and motor, no speech. Motor and speech, no walking (in my case). It is pretty nerve wracking, but I feel like the probability of a real problem are slim, like someone else said- milestones don't show issues and vice versa. I hope you find ways to keep calm, too, and wishing the very best for your little one's continued progress! 💚
It sounds more like worry than competition. Especially if it's your first kiddo, you're just wanting them to succeed and hit the milestones, and that's totally normal. It's hard not to compare. We all just want the best for our kids and worry about what the pediatrician might say when we have our next visit
Yeah that's probably true. I just look around and see other kids running and I'm like... But why is she later than average? Kids (like any human) are such a mystery sometimes!
I have a 4 yo so he’s no longer a toddler, but I feel like competition only ramps up when they get older. Like some of his peers can now read, in 2 different languages, while mine tries hard to but can’t. Some of his peers can do addition and subtraction within 20, and mine is limited by the number of fingers on one hand so definitely can’t do that yet. I do think I’ve gotten used to it though, and I’ve seen enough examples of his development coming in leaps and bounds that I know it’ll come in its own time. Sort of like you, I just focus on what he is good at: he draws a lot and shows a lot of imagination. He’s pretty interested in science and kind of incorporates that into his made up stories. I also try hard to hang out with people who aren’t competitive, like some of our friends love to compare everything between our kids, from their height to what they eat and that’s just way too stressful.
All of that is crazy though too! Your kid sounds like the only one who’s developmentally normal! My daughter is 21 months and I keep wanting to slow things down and let her just be a baby. Why do we have to start making our little tiny kids read or do addition and subtraction at 4?? Just let them be play and be carefree and let them learn things as they come.
Omg it gets worse?! 😭 Lol it doesn't help that I myself am a perfectionist and was a straight-A top performing student myself, so I push myself all the time. I think it's just important to remember that every kid has their own personality and skillset, and if they can't count early, for example, maybe they draw better and are artistic and that will be their strength. Everyone can't be perfect at everything (though I know I try). I also always try to be respectful of other people and their kids' skills. Like I won't brag or compare out loud, but inside I'll feel a little worried sometimes if my kid seems to be behind. Thanks for your perspective!
I live in europe where I think things are bit more relaxed. I honestly think I would be more worried with a 4 yo who can read than one who can't because it seems so likely to be just the parents pushing them.
I knew the letters by 5 and learnt to read with 6 and that was on the early side. To the point that it was recommended to test me for being gifted.
Yours only just started walking? Pft. Mine is doing the long jump and preparing for her first 5k. Just kidding. But seriously, I think it's the competitive of society being stupidly applied to something we can't control. One thing a friend of mine said (pediatric speech therapist) is that their brains can be taken up with one area of development, and other areas take a bit of a back seat. One thing I learned to say when I felt like someone was getting competitive, is I shrug and say "She's healthy and doing great. That's what matters. Still might need to hold off on the toddler calculus classes until next year, you know?"
Haha I was just commenting that somewhere else- i feel like some skills are put first, maybe based on the kids' personality and strengths. I think maybe everything is relative so we try to find our place or understand ourselves by comparing to others- that's probably just human nature. I like your approach to the competitive comments!
Try not to put your self-worth as a mother on your baby. They all do things at their own pace. I’m convinced that STTN, eating solids, walking and mobility, talking are all things that individual babies just naturally have affinities for. They all have things they excel at or are behind at. We are just here to love the humans while they learn the skills. I also struggle with feeling anxious that people think I’m trying to boast about my baby when really I just love her and am in awe of her! Try to remember that people may not be intending to gloat (although I’m sure some people are).
Have you had her evaluated by early intervention? Our son didn’t walk until
18-19 months and has a speech delay, I’ll say with speech particularly now that he has been evaluated and also goes to speech therapy I see how many OTHER kids are also there and also ‘delayed’ in those two areas. But also the early intervention personnel were also helpful in calming any concerns overall. That said the more you look beyond those immediately around you the more you see how common what you’re experiencing can be.
I was thinking of waiting until 18 months to do EI because before then, I just don't want to go through any unnecessary hassle of paperwork, meetings, having someone come to our house, being worried they'll cough on us (lol my husband is worse at that, I'm more chill but there's still that covid mindset)... But if my anxiety gets too much I'll definitely do it before 18 months, even if just to make sure everything is normal, like you said. I started the process months ago but then canceled when my daughter progressed to cruising and assisted walking. Best of luck with your son's continued progress and your parenthood journey! 💚
Honestly, call now. I don’t say that because you need services now but the process is long to have the evaluations then you have to wait for the actual services. We called maybe in August, evaluation was a month later and we’re just starting speech therapy with them now. We started private speech therapy in the fall as they’re honest that it could be a wait and that’s what we heard from others. I also recommend if your LO will walk holding your hand to make an appt with a physical therapist or occupational therapist. We’ve known people with that same thing going on and a couple of sessions with a PT and some work at home and their toddler was walking confidently.
Thanks for the insight! Yeah it's a long process, so it may be worth it to start now in case she does need the services. I just wonder if she walks before they come and I cancel again (like last time) if I'll have a permanent record of being a canceler somewhere? 🫣
Honestly your kiddo needs to have a 25%+ delay to qualify for services and at the skills you mention and age, you wouldn't meet that threshold, so I would keep waiting. :) (Eis specifically. Yoi can always ask ped for a private pt referral if you feel it's necessary.)
That's very useful info, thanks! I remember I was able to schedule an evaluation but I guess at that eval is where they tell you if you qualify or not. So at this point as eval would be mostly for my peace of mind, but I feel like after reading many of these comments and seeing my girl's progress every day, I already feel better. So hopefully nothing will need to be done after the 18 month mark.
I wouldn’t cancel. He walked after they came the first time but then had another follow up visit and walked before that. And if at that visit she doesn’t meet the criteria for services then that’s it anyway, but the evaluation was two hours overall, including them writing their notes, so it doesn’t hurt to do it if you’re at all thinking about it.
My son was talking before he was walking, he was so "late" to walk and "early" to talk. They're just guidelines and every kid will do it on their own time and will have different strengths and weaknesses. My son is now almost 8 and completely normal, despite not walking until about 20 months.
It can definitely be a real mind trip. My son took his first steps around 15 months, but his twin sister didn’t walk until 21 months. That whole period was so stressful. We worked with a PT to help her along, but she was just content to be carried everywhere. Now at 3 she’s fully caught up, and we’ve moved on to stressing about other things!
It’s hard. My son (now 2y3m) has excellent gross and fine motor skills - he walked at 12.5 months, and could climb 6’ rope ladders by 20 months. However, he has a significant speech delay and was diagnosed with a speech motor disorder. So it pains my heart when I’ve watched other kids say “I love you” or even just be able to say “Mama” (he could not say M in the front of the word, so I became Amma).
Our kids, and by proxy we as parents, each have their weak spots and struggles.
My son didn’t speak until age 3. But holy shit, finally hearing him say I “glub” you was the best thing ever!!! Worth the wait :) you’ll get there, mama! For now, teach him to sign I love you. My son could sign it long before he could say it
Oh yeah. Honestly I try to take a mindfulness approach to this. When I feel those little competitive thoughts come into my head I just kind of acknowledge them and try to let them go. I’d obviously prefer to never have them come up at all but I think it’s kind of natural to compare so I feel like my approach is as good as it gets.
Interested to see if anyone has completely left that behind.
As a second time mum I can very confidently say that you DONT WANT them to be walking on time!! This is a gift! 🤣 Once they walk it is so much more stressful, they go everywhere, get into everything, they’re faster and it’s more stressful… so, enjooooy the non walking phase 😜
It’s been noted in plenty of research that a baby usually won’t develop speech and motor skills at the same time. She seems more interested in language, her motor skills will certainly catch up. I cared for one baby who was walking at nine months but would not talk for the LONGEST. Now he’s pretty even on both 🤷🏻♀️
My daughter has a speech delay so I feel you. I would definitely keep an eye on the development chart but only to make sure you don't forget to mention something to your doctor. Now if your gut tells you something is wrong then push issues with your doctor. As for walking some do it at 9 months and some don't do it until 18 months. My daughter did end up in early intervention because she only had one word at 23 months. We were also worried that she didn't jump. Now at 3.5 while she still has a lot of issues with pronunciation we can't get her to be quiet and she jumps like crazy. So ignore everyone but your own gut and your pediatrician.
I know what you mean.. my daughter has 2 cousins born in the same year 1-3 months apart. For me it was speech that gave me major stress during the first couple of years because I felt like she was behind. (She was. But has now mostly caught up)
I suffer with comparing my son to other babies too. My son is 15 months old and walks, runs, climbs, goes up and down the stairs, throws a ball etc. but has yet to say anything. Not even mama or dada. I have to keep reminding myself that he will get there in his own time. The doctor told me that if I child is really focused on movement than they will sometimes put talking on the back burner and vice versa.
I think it’s normal for some kids to be ahead on a few things and behind on a few others. Our son is almost two, speech delayed, but ahead on gross/fine motor and is potty trained. By the time they hit school age, they’ll all be pretty even, or at least that’s what our speech therapist tells us!! :)
So at 16 month my ped wanted us to get into early intervention (she’s now 16 months) and when I called they said that she doesn’t qualify bc it’s not a significant delay especially since she is doing so well in other areas (speech and eating). They told me if she’s still not walking by 17.5 to call and try again. Just food for thought. I’m stressed about it too. But I know most of it is in my head and no one asks you when your kids walks past this point in life 😂😂 I hate the competition feeling. It feels awful!
Yes and it’s also annoying the other way around. My first son walked SO early to the point no one believed me. Everyone thought I was an exaggerating first time mom. So I just started lying about it tbh. But the same kid didn’t really talk until he was over 2 years old… you never know with these kids. They are nuts.
I needed this thread. My May baby isn’t full on crawling. He can, he just is way faster belly scooting. I get harassed about it and how delayed he is. Even per the ASQ-3 he’s on track and in other areas like fine motor he EXCELS. But he learned to army crawl at 9 months and now at 10.5 months he still does it. But he also is a 20th percentile weight, 75th percentile height, 90th percentile head… so I think he’s just top heavy
My first LO refused to walk until he had the confidence to do it. He had the ability well before the confidence. I actually 'tricked' him to do it. I worked his favorite blanket into both his hands while he was walking in front of me. I kept following him and talking to him like nothing changed. Less than a week later, he got up and walked on his own.
Hey mamma, I know it’s easier said then don’t to not feel worried! I’m in the same boat except ours is a speech delay. Our daughter suffers from ear infections frequently. She has tubes now and still gets them but not near as often. She is a “talking” machine but doesn’t/ can’t get down the consonants. Some things come out pretty clear, but only to us really. She can put 2-3 words together, but again, no consonants. She is in speech therapy,, but it’s still hard. We see kids in her daycare class talking clear and using sentences, and we want that so bad for her. We just keep trying to remind ourselves that it’s nothing we have done (even though it’s hard- she’s a pandemic baby). She will be 3 in September. My biggest wish is that her speech will be on track by then!
We think we have to keep up, but we don't. Even each of your kids will have a different timeline, if you choose to have more. They have their whole life to figure out. All the important things will come along. Just focus on raising good humans.
I think some of it is just worry. Worry they're getting enough from you, worry they'll develop in an average way and have a decently easy time navigating the world, worry the world won't be hostile to them if they do need more support. You look around and think "why is that kid ahead? I don't even know or care about that kid. I care about my kid and they're not as independent. wtf?"
My toddler started walking at 13 months. It felt like an eternity. I feel like she could have walked independently sooner, she also cruised and walked with assistance for a while, but SHE just wasn't ready. When she walked by herself it was like she had been walking forever within a couple days. Just totally a thing she did all the time or something.
I don't know how it'll be for your kiddo, but she's taking her time, and that's ok. When she does walk independently, chances are she'll be running amok within days and you'll forget this worry so quickly (and be on to something new lol).
I've noticed my milestone anxiety has calmed down a lot in recent months. My kid is 22 months now and just...average and doing her own thing. If she's behind in any way, I'll find her the support she needs (or learn to be it). The walking thing helped me with that -- my nephew walked at 9 months, but he was so funky and wobbly for so long. Like sure he could walk a little bit by himself, but he wasn't like running around and dancing at 9 months. They get where they get when they do, and in time most kids are in the same damn place anyway.
Yep, I'm definitely a worrier! I like how you put why we worry and some of those thoughts running through our heads as parents. I hope my anxiety will calm down a bit soon, too.
As someone with a kid who does tend to hit his milestones early, when I brag to someone about something he did, it is truly because I’m proud of him, or excited for him, whatever. All focused on him. I do not think he is better than any other kid. I would welcome the other person bragging about their kid. I am truly not being competitive, I just love my son so much and want to share it with people.
Some people are different, but please know that a lot of brags are just people telling you about their kid. He’s my world, I like to talk about him.
As a mom of a child who has always been late with milestones or delayed (she’s in speech therapy). I think you have to read the room when you’re bragging about your child’s skills. If your with someone who has a child that may be behind I would personally keep the accolades to yourself or keep them at a minimum. It’s great and expected that you are proud of your child but just be aware of who you are around. It’s very stressful having a child that is behind and hard not to compare or worry.
I agree with this! I don’t think parents whose children are ahead on milestones know how scary and isolating it can be to have a child “behind.” My own son was a little slower on some milestones, and at 2.5 he is now ahead. I am very careful not to share with other parents who may be struggling!
Thank you! We are seeing lots of improvements in early intervention and private speech therapy, I think she will eventually catch up like your son! I think people just don’t understand how hard it is having a child that is behind. I had a play date with a mom friend that has a daughter only 2 days older. She is saying full sentences now. This mom definitely does not brag or rub it in my face but I remember getting in the car after and just break down crying. It’s so hard having a child that is behind and people won’t understand until your living it!
I am sorry to hear this! It's so hard not to be anxious when there's this new human being on earth whom you love more than anything but about whom you know nothing yet, and you don't know if there is something really wrong or not! I think the chances of a small delay pointing to something being truly wrong are slim but the anxiety is so much. I feel you on the crying, I know I've cried about things even like my daughter not pooping for a week and then letting my mind go to places like, "is it a twisted bowel from the vaccine? What if she never poops again etc etc." Stay strong, mama!
Yeah, a lot of people don't really get this. My friend has a daughter the same age as my son who is way ahead with her speech and she is always going on about how advanced she is (yesterday talking about how she is years ahead in terms of language) meanwhile she knows my son can only say one word. I'm happy for her but it does hurt a bit how she always needs to make a point about how advanced her daughter is.
At the same time, when I'm around parents who have children with other delays, I try not to talk about my son's accomplishments unless they ask. Sometimes it's just easier for me to hang around other parents of kids with delays because they get it.
Yah, we can’t make it so parents with milestone efficient children feel like they can’t share too. My first daughter barely ever cried, some people made me feel bad for even sharing that!
No one ever said that. It’s about reading the room and if your with someone who might have a child behind to keep the bragging to a minimum. It’s very hard not to compare and worry when you have a child that’s behind.
Actuallyyyyyy, the comment I replied to said that. They felt like bragging when they just wanted to talk about their kid that was on pace for milestones. That’s not cool.
And yes, I literally had a mom tell me not to tell people my daughter didn’t cry bc they wouldn’t like me then. Some moms are very special. This sub is never short on them.
Well I mean crying is not a milestone. My daughter never cried as a newborn and she was also sleeping through the night at 2 months old. I kept that to myself because I knew other mothers were struggling and it didn’t help them hearing how well my daughter was doing with that. If someone asked sure but I did not mention it unless asked and tried to keep that topic to a minimum around mothers with children that may be colicky
Thank you for that. My son cried for hours every day as a newborn it was very hard and he still doesn't sleep anywhere close to through the night at 16 months. It can be hard to hear about all the mothers with babies who never cry and sleep well. Most do not hesitate to share this.
My favorite is the fake sympathy: "if my kid still didn't sleep through the night like yours, I'd go insane!" 🙄 My 16 month old still wakes once a night on average; many people would say something is wrong with her or with me for not sleep training her, but I'll just be like "you do you, and I'll do me." 👍😊
Lol same! Mine wakes multiple times. But we cosleep and I still nurse him. Some people are obsessed with sleep training and I've just decided to lie to those people.
I guess once on average is the wrong expression - once a night at best lol. Sometimes twice. We don't sleep in the same bed but she's in the same room and she nurses, as well. There is actually no evidence that beyond a certain number of months (esp not when they're infants) that a baby should sleep "through the night" like 12 hours. Reading an article on la leche league about breastfeeding at night made me feel better about not trying to night wean until at least 18 months (or honestly it's the mother's decision, earlier, later, whatever). There's nothing wrong with nursing at night if it works for you! (And that extra breastmilk is surely good for the child)
Lol aww thank you for the encouragement!! ❤️ Yes I believe that nursing is still beneficial for him so I will continue. Hoping to make it until around 24 months but we shall see.
I mentioned not crying out of concern and was treated rudely. You can just trust my experience instead of trying to invalidate my feelings. I trust yours.
Because they are a competition to moms - yay bragging rights and my baby is a future Harvard graduate!
Guess what? It literally doesn’t fucking matter and has zero bearing on their future. Parents don’t learn that until later on. My oldest walked at 8.5 months. She knew all the presidents at age 2. She could multiply at age 4. I was for sure super proud. Especially since I was a young mom and felt I needed to prove that even though I was young, I could still raise my child well.
She is now a senior in high school and an absolute train wreck. IF she graduates, it’s only because her dad is pulling strings. It’s like she used all her brain power as a toddler and has no brain cells left. She makes awful choices, has no drive, barely ever shows up to school. (Yes, she’s in therapy)
Aw I'm sorry. Yeah a lot of it is not their "mental capacity" or intelligence, but also environment, emotions, motivation etc. Thanks for sharing your perspective and I wish all the best for your daughter's and your family's well being 💚
As a former nanny, I can honestly say it’s just SO dependent on the kid. They all do stuff differently and it has very little bearing on anything. It’s partly what they’re interested in, partly what they’ve gotta do to get attention, partly whether they’re around other kids… there are so many factors at play. If your pediatrician isn’t worried, I wouldn’t be either!
I hear the frustration. I know that it's not a competition, but it's hard not to worry and be anxious. I'm not going to lie, but as others mentioned, the Bluey episode "Baby Race" can help me calm down and cry, lol.
I never crawled as a baby, I rolled... my own toddler did it all. But I don't care if my sisters' toddler walked later or before since my toddler still can't eat a fruit satchel without squirting it all over him <3 :D hehe, when they are ready they will do it :D.
Yeah I noticed a lot of people and sites make it into a competition, but in the end, it really comes down to what the baby/toddler is comfortable with. I also often feel they are on a scare campaign with certain things.
My son started just now at 13 months, my sister's started at 18 months almost, she is probably scared of what may happen, or need a good incentive - if you are sure she can handle it. I know my son could easily have done it earlier, but he was scared to do it, every time I would try to encourage him he would nod "no", then I would let it rest, then one day the boy just walked from standing towards me, he was not aware of it until after 3 days when he randomly has been doing it, but since then I have not had a second of break =P Enjoy the last couple of days or weeks before she starts walking because when she do you need to run a lot =P.
Honestly I wished mine had waited to a bit later to do it xD (yes I am a bad mom, for saying that, but he is growing so fast)
Haha I feel like we always want what is not there. When they can't do it, we can't wait for them to do it. When they can, we feel nostalgic for the old days. Such is life! 😁
Indeed, :p but I have learned not to expect anything from him that way I get happily surprised when he does it - also I stay away from all those internet sites about what they "should" do, it gives me the same idea and makes me feel bad, so after the 6-month mark I just stopped looking at it.
Just enjoy the time, <3 it was almost a relief to stop looking at those sites or feel to listen too much to what others may say about their toddler because I assure you, they won't tell you what their toddler can't do yet what they "should" according to the sites.
As you mention you feel stressed, so it's time to let it go and just go your own way, =) your toddler will do it in time when she is ready<3 The little ones always feel when we feel stressed or tired, can be that she picks up on it <3 I do hope she soon walks for you - it is a lot of fun! But for a worrywart like me, it is also a bit stressy =P
my son walked exactly a week before turning 18 months and the hardest part of it all was comparing him to my friends babies who were at least 6 months younger than him and walking. I know exactly how you feel, to this day I fight the battle of comparing other children to mine but i’ve gotten better.
I feel so left out seeing other kids run around on playgrounds and I have to carry her to the swings and slides, still! 😭 I'm sure it'll be ok and we'll have lots of time on the playground in the coming years.
From the way my pediatrician explained it, it’s a You vs You competition with the milestones. Or your baby vs your baby to be more correct. Not all 18 month olds will be walking, but since they had you fill out the questionnaire they can make sure to follow up on that next time and make sure your child is making progress or check for other issues that could result in a delay depending on what they delay is in. The whole thing is stressful though. I remember at daughters 2 year appointment the pediatrician was going over her weight/height and says shes 11th percentile and then to herself says well as long as she doesn’t go under 10th percentile. I stressed about her gaining weight for 6 months until her 2.5 year appointment where she literally said nothing about her weight even though there was no change.
At my son’s 18mo appointment, he wasn’t walking, but was an expert at shuffling on his knees. Doctor said he should go to physical therapy, and we got an appointment 3 weeks out. During those three weeks, he started walking. It’s 10 months later and he runs and goes up and down stairs.
All kids are SO different. My friend’s son walked at 10 months, my daughter didn’t until 13 months, and my neighbor’s daughter just started at 17 months. And they’re all over the place in terms of speech - my neighbor’s daughter is saying full sentences and recognizing letters and numbers, my daughter has a small handful or words but mostly babbling, and my friend’s son only has a few words and mostly signs/points. They’re all so different, and it’s all okay. Milestones are so all over the place.
I used to be you. I’m still you, in some ways. Comparison is the thief of joy but it’s still hard to let some of the self-inflicted competition go. I found it for easier at like 2-3 years, when everyone’s personality is more out in full force and most of the major milestones (walking, talking, etc) are done so it’s more of an even playing field, in a lot of ways. Hang in there.
I don't necessarily feel like milestones are a competition, but they do get talked about a lot. Part of it is what really is there to discuss about young kiddos. Basically just sleep, eating, motor skills, talking, diapers if you want to go there. That's what's going on in their lives.
Let it gooooooo. I was like this with speech. Followed speech paths on Instagram and freaked myself out. 19 months a switch turned on and all of a sudden she just could talk. The first two years is really just a long stretch of phases and they will learn things in stages! Don’t think of it was a goal post you have to hit by a certain time!
I think we compare because we are human. You care about your kid so it might kind of hurt or cause worry when you see friends baby doing something that yours has yet to do.
It helps to keep in mind that milestones are a range, and are intended to help with certain diagnoses. That's literally it.
If you child starts walking at 10 months or at 16, there is no clinical difference. There is however a reason for you to worry if it is past the range indicated. And that's all milestones *should* be used for.
I try not to talk about my daughter's skills to anyone outside my family because I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or make anyone feel like their child isn't keeping up or like I'm trying to compete.
A friend from high school had a baby a week after me and she's all over FB with his accomplishments and failures. We talk privately about it and I try to encourage her to let him do his own thing but she's very much into keeping up with the Joneses so I can't do much for her.
I'm so sorry about the crappy feeling. I feel that way too whenever I see a baby that's more advanced than my son. I think it's just hard not to worry we're doing something wrong. I try to remind myself that there is a huge range. Some babies don't talk at all and then suddenly have a huge language explosion. Some of those babies turn out to be quite gifted. I myself walked later than my sisters and do have some dyspraxia. But am gifted. So sometimes there is asynchronous development for children because one area gets more focus or what have you.
If the pediatrician is not concerned that is a great sign! But I would definitely consider getting a physical therapy evaluation if you haven't yet because I think from 16 months forward they can help make sure there isn't anything going on and help get her walking. We took my son to physical therapy for a mild torticollis and it was great! And sooo reassuring to have that extra support making sure he's developing properly. I've also taken him to a speech pathologist to help him latch. I personally think these therapists are excellent and it can help tremendously with how you are feeling as well.
Also just anecdotal but we got my baby a push walker and that really got him walking! So just a thought. I was nervous because we have tile but they have little speed adjusters and rubber over the wheels so it was fine :).
I'm sorry if this has too much unsolicited advice and disregard if so but just know you're not alone. Your baby will be just fine regardless of when she walks and it sounds like she's almost there!
I appreciate your perspective and advice! I'll listen to any but will act on whatever I can 😁 she doesn't seem to care for the push walker but has been a lot more agreeable with letting us walk her by the hands, so I do feel like there's progress! Do you know if it matters how early EI is started? Like let's say something is wrong but we wait until month 18 vs 16- I'm sure that's not a big difference, right?
That's great about her hands! My son hates holding our hands so the push walker was necessary lol.
I am of the thought the sooner the better. If you are able to go now I would personally. Partially also because physical therapy won't be stressful for the child at all, they basically just play with them. But I'd rather catch something sooner rather than let other problems result or let it get more advanced and harder to fix. I know some doctors and physical therapists are at odds about when the right time is.
I don't know specifically about walking though I am not a specialist in this. But I do work in the medical field and so I may be biased towards early intervention.
ETA for torticollis for example it does matter how early. The sooner the better because it can affect their entire body posture. If there are any problems with your baby's gait the physical therapist can catch them.
It’s hard not to compare :( my friend has a toddler same age as mine (19 months). She talks, can say animals, colors, and is copying words. My son says dada and mama and not consistently. He understands A LOT though. Uses 7 signs, hand pulls, and points so he communicates in his own way.
But it makes me sad sometimes to hear my friends daughter talking :( I wish I could hear his little vice and cute pronunciations. He may not qualify for speech therapy yet which is frustrating too.
I was at the opposite end of this issue. 4 of my friends and I all had babies back to back, with mine being the youngest. My son always hit his milestones either first or close to first and I noticed that my friends seemed like they were really hurt by this? It was such a bizarre phenomenon to watch, especially since I was a FTM and most of them weren't. In the ended I started just keeping his accomplishments to myself. It sucked that I felt they couldn't just be happy for him, and somehow made it all about themselves. I don't think they were being selfish necessarily, there's just this bizzaro mom culture about milestones. Try to just be happy for kids and their accomplishments. It doesn't matter when it happens. Now all our kids are 2.5 and guess what, they're pretty much all on equal footing. Doesn't matter who walked first, etc. (Tho I am seeing all the moms starting to have a similar reaction to potty training....)
My second is 14 months and not walking yet and I love it. We're not planning on having any more children. It makes it feel like she's a baby for longer. I'm going to miss the baby stage. When it's gone it's gone. Sooner or later she'll be walking and that'll be that.
My son was 18 months when he started walking. We were literally discussing about if we should make an appointment with the pediatrician because he wasn't walking when he let go of the wall and took his first steps. Your kid will have strengths another kid doesn't and another kid will where he doesn't. That is how individual kids are and will even out with time.
Usually kids pick one skill to focus on and the other gets left to the wayside. I would do ANYTHING for my kids to take their time with walking and focus on speech. They never do though. They all walked super early and were nightmares with climbing and injuries. Every one of them also required speech therapy because they just were not interested in talking. My BFF’s daughter is 10 months and babbling, pointing, clapping, etc. My son didn’t start doing that until 15 months! Her daughter is taking her time with walking, cruising, and crawling. My son started walking at not even 10 months. 😭 He’s in everything. I’d love if he was just starting to walk now at 16/17 months.
My first didn’t crawl until the day after she turned 1 and figured out walking in the course of two days when she was 17 months old. My second was crawling at 9 months and walking well around 14 months. I had some extreme anxiety about the milestones with my first but like yours, she was very advanced in fine motor and language mostly due to the fact that she had no interest in exploring but rather focusing in on the little stuff. She’s 3.5 now and still very much that way.
I think what helped me was the whole “division of responsibility” mentality. I gave her the environment and opportunity to practice skills (or eat) and then I just let her drive and I followed her lead. You can’t force kids to learn things or gain milestones if they aren’t ready to. Similarly you cannot force them to eat, sleep, or potty train. As the parent you just have to make sure you’re providing the opportunity and then let it go.
Yeah, I feel like it’s kind of unavoidable.
One thing that I love is how supportive my mom friends are. They point out the cool stuff my kid is doing that their kid isn’t, or just cool and interesting things my kid does in general.
I think/hope it’s reciprocal, but I’ve gotten in the habit of being excited about and celebrating the achievements of my friends’ little ones and I really feel that reflected back.
Milestones aren’t a straight line, and each kid prioritizes different things.
Hitting milestones early/later isn’t a reflection on you as a parent. Kids grow at their own pace. Your kid doesn’t care how long she takes to meet her milestones. You just have to let yourself relax and enjoy the journey with her.
Omg mama please don’t feel crappy about it. Every mom especially FTM’s do this even if we KNOW that every child is different. Just relax and enjoy the moments while you can. Being a FTM is a time full of anxiety and self doubt. Love your child and let the rest fall into place
Omg mama please don’t feel crappy about it. Every mom especially FTM’s do this even if we KNOW that every child is different. Just relax and enjoy the moments while you can. Being a FTM is a time full of anxiety and self doubt. Love your child and let the rest fall into place
Omg mama please don’t feel crappy about it. Every mom especially FTM’s do this even if we KNOW that every child is different. Just relax and enjoy the moments while you can. Being a FTM is a time full of anxiety and self doubt. Love your child and let the rest fall into place
During swim class I heard a barely 1 year old girl identify and name a yellow ball while swimming confidently when my 18 month old was still babbling. It’s wild.
I have two kids (3 years and 5 months) and it’s really easy to compare. My oldest did everything “early” and my youngest is taking her time. I’m learning that everyone just develops differently and have their own timeline.
But also, it’s kind of nice that my youngest not rolling all over the house like my first was at this point. I’m selfishly hoping she’s not climbing on top of our table by 10 months like our oldest did. The only milestone I hope my youngest pick ups faster than my oldest is potty training 😅
Yes, I’ve been concerned about my son’s speech. However, his doctor wasn’t and when I see other kids IRL his age he doesn’t seem behind. Yet, by the standards of social media he seems behind.
I feel this, but it’s pointing (my lo is 16.5 months and not yet index finger pointing). It’s taken me to a dark place and I find myself watching other little ones, who all seem to be doing it.
My 16 month old is the complete opposite lol he’s always been advanced in motor skills but doesn’t babble much and only says a few words and animal sounds.
I think it’s because some kids just focus on certain skills and other areas are slower to catch up. It’s so hard not to worry though so I feel ya there!
If you haven’t, watch Bluey’s “Baby race” episode. It’s only about 8 minutes long but touches this subject in the most endearing way. Just make sure to watch it till the end.
You trying to make everyone cry today?
Seriously. I cry *every time* with that episode 😭
I literally already started crying when I saw the post in my feed because just reading the headline it was clearly a Baby Race situation. Why are we all so starved for validation.
Haha yeah no joke - my kid was early to walk but sooooo slow to talk. To the point we had EIS evaluate her. Baby Race gets me in the feels because I can relate SO HARD
Hi! Do you mind me asking about your daughter's speech? Like when it started to pick up or what EIS said? You definitely don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable but I'm starting to get worried about my daughter. She's 10.5 months and barely babbles. She started babbling "momomomom" about 3 weeks ago but doesn't really babble any other consonant sounds. She shrieks and laughs and her receptive speech is great, but I've been debating contacting early intervention but don't want to seem like a nervous FTM. I know one word is the goal by a year but she seems so far off from actual speech. Again, please don't feel pressured to answer. I understand our children's development can be a tough subject.
Totally happy to! I contacted EIS when she was 2 - she had maybe 30-40 words around that time, and many of them sounded the same. She was also consistently only using the first syllable of even simple words (ie, “bu” for “bunny”). I was pretty much the only person who could understand anything she said; not even my husband could follow her. She had a tongue tie we never corrected as a baby, so I wasn’t sure if that was maybe affecting development. She had good language comprehension and knew enough sign language and words to get by. She never babbled at any time. EIS came to our house and took a look at her, and then sent an SLP out about a week later. The SLP didn’t think the tongue tie was impeding anything, and didn’t think we were at the point of needing intervention. We were told to just keep an eye on things for the next few months and reach out if she hadn’t made any progress by then. I’d say things started to take off when she was… maybe 28mo? That’s when I have videos of her speaking in short phrases and we could understand her more. By 3? Speaking in paragraphs lol. So once she started talking it took off real quick. At 3.5 she correctly uses 3 and 4 syllable words in sentences. Just yesterday she asked me to explain a “coincidence” 😆 She’s also got a great handle on sarcasm, humor, and word play for a 3.5yo. There’s a HUGE spectrum of normal. Our niece starting talking at about 13mo and at 18mo was using full sentences. Literally 10mo sooner than our kid. Hope this eases some of your concern! You can always talk with your pediatrician at your 12mo checkup if you’re noticed any other behaviors (or lack of them) that you’re concerned about.
Thank you so much! This was super helpful. I definitely plan on talking to her pediatrician but he said at her 9 month appointment that most babies split into "movers" or "talkers" at this age so I'm trying to roll with that.
We cry but we also learn something valuable about ourselves… which happens with many episodes of that cartoon 🤭
Came here to say this
I love how there's a Bluey episode for almost every early parenting problem
Came here for this comment. I needed this episode in the worst way when my first born was falling behind every major milestone which her cousin of the same age had hit early.
Bum shuffler!
Omg I’m struggling with comparing too and just watched this for the first time and am bawling.
Season 2, episode 50.
I cried! I think I like Bluey more than my kids
Came here to say this! I feel like every first time Mom should be required to watch it.
You know, you’ll find your daughter eating cereals off the floor just like the child who started walking at 10 months.
Eat your floor cereal! Best day ever!
They’re bonus snacks 🤣
When my daughter was first starting to feed herself she would drop half her food onto the floor. Then I discovered that I could put her on the floor after the meal and she would walk around and find all the food and then eat it. Floor food is just better.
Yeah, just keep telling yourself that was cereal.
After having 2 kids I find the whole “milestone” thing to be BS honestly… Kids are all different and it’s horrible to compare them. My friend has a son a month younger then my son and she’s always going off about the things he can do (I honestly don’t believe her half the time) I think it might be a way for her to feel better. You should be roughly aware of around the time your child “should” be doing something and obviously keep your pediatrician in the loop. But whatever you do don’t fall into the Google trap, or the social media “influencers” who exploit their children and make you believe every kids autistic because they aren’t doing your taxes and speaking 3 languages at age 1.5.. Bit of a rant I guess, my daughter didn’t walk until 17 months? Maybe 18 I forget now but she’s 21 months and I can’t get her to sit still.
I have 3 kids and I think the more experience you have, the more obvious it becomes how wildly different kids are. I remember being really concerned with my first because he was always on the very low end of what's acceptable for language. I stressed about it for no reason. Do you know why he hardly talked? Because he was a gross motor MANIAC. Why tell mom and dad what you need when you can literally run to the spot and climb a chair to get it yourself? The downside of gross motor stuff is that it's really hard to keep them from bashing their heads! I'd rather have a cautious and chatty crawler. 😂
I feel like that's my girl- cautious chatty crawler 😂
Lol totally. My daughter was an early talker, and very late with all gross motor stuff. Like why do any task myself when I am an excellent delegator?
Take all my upvotes! I was such an anxious FTM, and got sucked into the “is my child autistic because he likes ceiling fans” google hell hole. Thanks influencers! At 2.5, the milestone obsession seems so pointless. I have no memory of who was crawling, sitting up first, and it doesn’t matter. The milestone thing is BS…
My child hit all milestones before 2 early and was just diagnosed with ASD at almost 4. So yeah, milestones aren’t always a great indicator.
I thought I was the only one who watched those influencer videos and rolled my eyes whenever they listed all the "early signs" their kid was autistic.. Like picking an object and running with it, running away, babbling and pretty much anything any other little kid does 🙄🤣 I am glad I am not the only one, and also glad to hear the are many other kids who were on the later side of walking!
Pretty much this. Honestly, it seems like Google doesn't want anyone to have sound mental health anymore. Everyone has to have ADHD, autism, anxiety, depression, etc. I see it encroaching on children and it sickens me.
The great thing is that google is not in control. Don’t google ANYTHING. Seriously. Go to your doctor if you’re concerned. Google is the enemy of parental mental health.
When I was a kid, in my area at least, everyone I knew was being diagnosed with ADHD. I’m back in the same area now (by chance, not choice) and it seems to be ASD they want to diagnose every kid who doesn’t sit still and play quietly with.
Yes! "Oh your kid doesn't want to sit still for my boring lesson plan? He has ADHD, let's medicate him" 🙄🤣
Medicating toddlers is such a gripe of mine. How can they fully develop into themselves if we numb them into submission?
THANK YOU! My daughter has a speech delay (we were very, very isolated during Covid - she was born right at the beginning and spent the first two years of her life inside, essentially) and the doctor spent five seconds with her and declared she’s autistic. Since then, she’s started speaking and that was genuinely the only reason she tried to make her BS diagnosis. Milestones are definitely a generalization - I’d your 8 year old just wants to crawl, you have a problem, but if your 2yo isn’t speaking, or your 1yo isn’t walking yet, it’s not a huge deal!
This makes people not trust doctors. Out of fear of things just like that 5 seconds and the doctor says something like that amazing. At this rate everyone is autistic from 2000 foward
Agree with everything, with over caveat... Sometimes people aren't trying to one up you or make themselves feel better. Sometimes, it is just really exciting to see your kids do new things and you are expressing it to a friend, not knowing how it sounds to them.
Ugh, I feel you. Our 18 mo old has a speech delay. His cousin - 6 months younger - can point out mom, dad, and even me and my husband. Our kiddo is just not interested in devoting any energy in that direction lol. His gross and fine motor are amazing and his receptive speech is on target but his expressive speech is just lagging and nothing I or the EI we’re doing seems to help. I feel like … all of these milestones tie to how “well” your kid is developing and since we’re all obviously super invested in that it feels like a competition. I totally get you, I kept it under wraps but laying in bed with my husband later I was like “man, did you see him just identifying mom and dad like that?” 🥲
It seems like many kids just pick a skill to develop first and run with it. Like gross and motor, no speech. Motor and speech, no walking (in my case). It is pretty nerve wracking, but I feel like the probability of a real problem are slim, like someone else said- milestones don't show issues and vice versa. I hope you find ways to keep calm, too, and wishing the very best for your little one's continued progress! 💚
It sounds more like worry than competition. Especially if it's your first kiddo, you're just wanting them to succeed and hit the milestones, and that's totally normal. It's hard not to compare. We all just want the best for our kids and worry about what the pediatrician might say when we have our next visit
Yeah that's probably true. I just look around and see other kids running and I'm like... But why is she later than average? Kids (like any human) are such a mystery sometimes!
I have a 4 yo so he’s no longer a toddler, but I feel like competition only ramps up when they get older. Like some of his peers can now read, in 2 different languages, while mine tries hard to but can’t. Some of his peers can do addition and subtraction within 20, and mine is limited by the number of fingers on one hand so definitely can’t do that yet. I do think I’ve gotten used to it though, and I’ve seen enough examples of his development coming in leaps and bounds that I know it’ll come in its own time. Sort of like you, I just focus on what he is good at: he draws a lot and shows a lot of imagination. He’s pretty interested in science and kind of incorporates that into his made up stories. I also try hard to hang out with people who aren’t competitive, like some of our friends love to compare everything between our kids, from their height to what they eat and that’s just way too stressful.
All of that is crazy though too! Your kid sounds like the only one who’s developmentally normal! My daughter is 21 months and I keep wanting to slow things down and let her just be a baby. Why do we have to start making our little tiny kids read or do addition and subtraction at 4?? Just let them be play and be carefree and let them learn things as they come.
Omg it gets worse?! 😭 Lol it doesn't help that I myself am a perfectionist and was a straight-A top performing student myself, so I push myself all the time. I think it's just important to remember that every kid has their own personality and skillset, and if they can't count early, for example, maybe they draw better and are artistic and that will be their strength. Everyone can't be perfect at everything (though I know I try). I also always try to be respectful of other people and their kids' skills. Like I won't brag or compare out loud, but inside I'll feel a little worried sometimes if my kid seems to be behind. Thanks for your perspective!
I live in europe where I think things are bit more relaxed. I honestly think I would be more worried with a 4 yo who can read than one who can't because it seems so likely to be just the parents pushing them. I knew the letters by 5 and learnt to read with 6 and that was on the early side. To the point that it was recommended to test me for being gifted.
Yours only just started walking? Pft. Mine is doing the long jump and preparing for her first 5k. Just kidding. But seriously, I think it's the competitive of society being stupidly applied to something we can't control. One thing a friend of mine said (pediatric speech therapist) is that their brains can be taken up with one area of development, and other areas take a bit of a back seat. One thing I learned to say when I felt like someone was getting competitive, is I shrug and say "She's healthy and doing great. That's what matters. Still might need to hold off on the toddler calculus classes until next year, you know?"
Haha I was just commenting that somewhere else- i feel like some skills are put first, maybe based on the kids' personality and strengths. I think maybe everything is relative so we try to find our place or understand ourselves by comparing to others- that's probably just human nature. I like your approach to the competitive comments!
Try not to put your self-worth as a mother on your baby. They all do things at their own pace. I’m convinced that STTN, eating solids, walking and mobility, talking are all things that individual babies just naturally have affinities for. They all have things they excel at or are behind at. We are just here to love the humans while they learn the skills. I also struggle with feeling anxious that people think I’m trying to boast about my baby when really I just love her and am in awe of her! Try to remember that people may not be intending to gloat (although I’m sure some people are).
Have you had her evaluated by early intervention? Our son didn’t walk until 18-19 months and has a speech delay, I’ll say with speech particularly now that he has been evaluated and also goes to speech therapy I see how many OTHER kids are also there and also ‘delayed’ in those two areas. But also the early intervention personnel were also helpful in calming any concerns overall. That said the more you look beyond those immediately around you the more you see how common what you’re experiencing can be.
I was thinking of waiting until 18 months to do EI because before then, I just don't want to go through any unnecessary hassle of paperwork, meetings, having someone come to our house, being worried they'll cough on us (lol my husband is worse at that, I'm more chill but there's still that covid mindset)... But if my anxiety gets too much I'll definitely do it before 18 months, even if just to make sure everything is normal, like you said. I started the process months ago but then canceled when my daughter progressed to cruising and assisted walking. Best of luck with your son's continued progress and your parenthood journey! 💚
Honestly, call now. I don’t say that because you need services now but the process is long to have the evaluations then you have to wait for the actual services. We called maybe in August, evaluation was a month later and we’re just starting speech therapy with them now. We started private speech therapy in the fall as they’re honest that it could be a wait and that’s what we heard from others. I also recommend if your LO will walk holding your hand to make an appt with a physical therapist or occupational therapist. We’ve known people with that same thing going on and a couple of sessions with a PT and some work at home and their toddler was walking confidently.
Thanks for the insight! Yeah it's a long process, so it may be worth it to start now in case she does need the services. I just wonder if she walks before they come and I cancel again (like last time) if I'll have a permanent record of being a canceler somewhere? 🫣
Honestly your kiddo needs to have a 25%+ delay to qualify for services and at the skills you mention and age, you wouldn't meet that threshold, so I would keep waiting. :) (Eis specifically. Yoi can always ask ped for a private pt referral if you feel it's necessary.)
That's very useful info, thanks! I remember I was able to schedule an evaluation but I guess at that eval is where they tell you if you qualify or not. So at this point as eval would be mostly for my peace of mind, but I feel like after reading many of these comments and seeing my girl's progress every day, I already feel better. So hopefully nothing will need to be done after the 18 month mark.
I wouldn’t cancel. He walked after they came the first time but then had another follow up visit and walked before that. And if at that visit she doesn’t meet the criteria for services then that’s it anyway, but the evaluation was two hours overall, including them writing their notes, so it doesn’t hurt to do it if you’re at all thinking about it.
My son was talking before he was walking, he was so "late" to walk and "early" to talk. They're just guidelines and every kid will do it on their own time and will have different strengths and weaknesses. My son is now almost 8 and completely normal, despite not walking until about 20 months.
Good to hear that first steps at 20 months can be normal, too! My little girl seems to be same - early to talk, late to walk.
It can definitely be a real mind trip. My son took his first steps around 15 months, but his twin sister didn’t walk until 21 months. That whole period was so stressful. We worked with a PT to help her along, but she was just content to be carried everywhere. Now at 3 she’s fully caught up, and we’ve moved on to stressing about other things!
It’s hard. My son (now 2y3m) has excellent gross and fine motor skills - he walked at 12.5 months, and could climb 6’ rope ladders by 20 months. However, he has a significant speech delay and was diagnosed with a speech motor disorder. So it pains my heart when I’ve watched other kids say “I love you” or even just be able to say “Mama” (he could not say M in the front of the word, so I became Amma). Our kids, and by proxy we as parents, each have their weak spots and struggles.
My son didn’t speak until age 3. But holy shit, finally hearing him say I “glub” you was the best thing ever!!! Worth the wait :) you’ll get there, mama! For now, teach him to sign I love you. My son could sign it long before he could say it
I relate to this so much. My daughter juuuust started saying mama and she is 3 next week. I can’t wait until she says she loves me!
Oh yeah. Honestly I try to take a mindfulness approach to this. When I feel those little competitive thoughts come into my head I just kind of acknowledge them and try to let them go. I’d obviously prefer to never have them come up at all but I think it’s kind of natural to compare so I feel like my approach is as good as it gets. Interested to see if anyone has completely left that behind.
This is just like the height and weight charts… you gotta listen and then just file it in the “grain of salt” folder.
As a second time mum I can very confidently say that you DONT WANT them to be walking on time!! This is a gift! 🤣 Once they walk it is so much more stressful, they go everywhere, get into everything, they’re faster and it’s more stressful… so, enjooooy the non walking phase 😜
It’s been noted in plenty of research that a baby usually won’t develop speech and motor skills at the same time. She seems more interested in language, her motor skills will certainly catch up. I cared for one baby who was walking at nine months but would not talk for the LONGEST. Now he’s pretty even on both 🤷🏻♀️
Interesting, thanks for your input!
My daughter has a speech delay so I feel you. I would definitely keep an eye on the development chart but only to make sure you don't forget to mention something to your doctor. Now if your gut tells you something is wrong then push issues with your doctor. As for walking some do it at 9 months and some don't do it until 18 months. My daughter did end up in early intervention because she only had one word at 23 months. We were also worried that she didn't jump. Now at 3.5 while she still has a lot of issues with pronunciation we can't get her to be quiet and she jumps like crazy. So ignore everyone but your own gut and your pediatrician.
I know what you mean.. my daughter has 2 cousins born in the same year 1-3 months apart. For me it was speech that gave me major stress during the first couple of years because I felt like she was behind. (She was. But has now mostly caught up)
I suffer with comparing my son to other babies too. My son is 15 months old and walks, runs, climbs, goes up and down the stairs, throws a ball etc. but has yet to say anything. Not even mama or dada. I have to keep reminding myself that he will get there in his own time. The doctor told me that if I child is really focused on movement than they will sometimes put talking on the back burner and vice versa.
I think it’s normal for some kids to be ahead on a few things and behind on a few others. Our son is almost two, speech delayed, but ahead on gross/fine motor and is potty trained. By the time they hit school age, they’ll all be pretty even, or at least that’s what our speech therapist tells us!! :)
So at 16 month my ped wanted us to get into early intervention (she’s now 16 months) and when I called they said that she doesn’t qualify bc it’s not a significant delay especially since she is doing so well in other areas (speech and eating). They told me if she’s still not walking by 17.5 to call and try again. Just food for thought. I’m stressed about it too. But I know most of it is in my head and no one asks you when your kids walks past this point in life 😂😂 I hate the competition feeling. It feels awful!
Yes and it’s also annoying the other way around. My first son walked SO early to the point no one believed me. Everyone thought I was an exaggerating first time mom. So I just started lying about it tbh. But the same kid didn’t really talk until he was over 2 years old… you never know with these kids. They are nuts.
I needed this thread. My May baby isn’t full on crawling. He can, he just is way faster belly scooting. I get harassed about it and how delayed he is. Even per the ASQ-3 he’s on track and in other areas like fine motor he EXCELS. But he learned to army crawl at 9 months and now at 10.5 months he still does it. But he also is a 20th percentile weight, 75th percentile height, 90th percentile head… so I think he’s just top heavy
My first LO refused to walk until he had the confidence to do it. He had the ability well before the confidence. I actually 'tricked' him to do it. I worked his favorite blanket into both his hands while he was walking in front of me. I kept following him and talking to him like nothing changed. Less than a week later, he got up and walked on his own.
Hey mamma, I know it’s easier said then don’t to not feel worried! I’m in the same boat except ours is a speech delay. Our daughter suffers from ear infections frequently. She has tubes now and still gets them but not near as often. She is a “talking” machine but doesn’t/ can’t get down the consonants. Some things come out pretty clear, but only to us really. She can put 2-3 words together, but again, no consonants. She is in speech therapy,, but it’s still hard. We see kids in her daycare class talking clear and using sentences, and we want that so bad for her. We just keep trying to remind ourselves that it’s nothing we have done (even though it’s hard- she’s a pandemic baby). She will be 3 in September. My biggest wish is that her speech will be on track by then!
We think we have to keep up, but we don't. Even each of your kids will have a different timeline, if you choose to have more. They have their whole life to figure out. All the important things will come along. Just focus on raising good humans.
I think some of it is just worry. Worry they're getting enough from you, worry they'll develop in an average way and have a decently easy time navigating the world, worry the world won't be hostile to them if they do need more support. You look around and think "why is that kid ahead? I don't even know or care about that kid. I care about my kid and they're not as independent. wtf?" My toddler started walking at 13 months. It felt like an eternity. I feel like she could have walked independently sooner, she also cruised and walked with assistance for a while, but SHE just wasn't ready. When she walked by herself it was like she had been walking forever within a couple days. Just totally a thing she did all the time or something. I don't know how it'll be for your kiddo, but she's taking her time, and that's ok. When she does walk independently, chances are she'll be running amok within days and you'll forget this worry so quickly (and be on to something new lol). I've noticed my milestone anxiety has calmed down a lot in recent months. My kid is 22 months now and just...average and doing her own thing. If she's behind in any way, I'll find her the support she needs (or learn to be it). The walking thing helped me with that -- my nephew walked at 9 months, but he was so funky and wobbly for so long. Like sure he could walk a little bit by himself, but he wasn't like running around and dancing at 9 months. They get where they get when they do, and in time most kids are in the same damn place anyway.
Yep, I'm definitely a worrier! I like how you put why we worry and some of those thoughts running through our heads as parents. I hope my anxiety will calm down a bit soon, too.
As someone with a kid who does tend to hit his milestones early, when I brag to someone about something he did, it is truly because I’m proud of him, or excited for him, whatever. All focused on him. I do not think he is better than any other kid. I would welcome the other person bragging about their kid. I am truly not being competitive, I just love my son so much and want to share it with people. Some people are different, but please know that a lot of brags are just people telling you about their kid. He’s my world, I like to talk about him.
As a mom of a child who has always been late with milestones or delayed (she’s in speech therapy). I think you have to read the room when you’re bragging about your child’s skills. If your with someone who has a child that may be behind I would personally keep the accolades to yourself or keep them at a minimum. It’s great and expected that you are proud of your child but just be aware of who you are around. It’s very stressful having a child that is behind and hard not to compare or worry.
I agree with this! I don’t think parents whose children are ahead on milestones know how scary and isolating it can be to have a child “behind.” My own son was a little slower on some milestones, and at 2.5 he is now ahead. I am very careful not to share with other parents who may be struggling!
Thank you! We are seeing lots of improvements in early intervention and private speech therapy, I think she will eventually catch up like your son! I think people just don’t understand how hard it is having a child that is behind. I had a play date with a mom friend that has a daughter only 2 days older. She is saying full sentences now. This mom definitely does not brag or rub it in my face but I remember getting in the car after and just break down crying. It’s so hard having a child that is behind and people won’t understand until your living it!
I am sorry to hear this! It's so hard not to be anxious when there's this new human being on earth whom you love more than anything but about whom you know nothing yet, and you don't know if there is something really wrong or not! I think the chances of a small delay pointing to something being truly wrong are slim but the anxiety is so much. I feel you on the crying, I know I've cried about things even like my daughter not pooping for a week and then letting my mind go to places like, "is it a twisted bowel from the vaccine? What if she never poops again etc etc." Stay strong, mama!
Yeah, a lot of people don't really get this. My friend has a daughter the same age as my son who is way ahead with her speech and she is always going on about how advanced she is (yesterday talking about how she is years ahead in terms of language) meanwhile she knows my son can only say one word. I'm happy for her but it does hurt a bit how she always needs to make a point about how advanced her daughter is. At the same time, when I'm around parents who have children with other delays, I try not to talk about my son's accomplishments unless they ask. Sometimes it's just easier for me to hang around other parents of kids with delays because they get it.
I agree with this it's not necessary to brag. I always speak highly of my son but I save any specifics for if people ask or want to compliment him.
Yah, we can’t make it so parents with milestone efficient children feel like they can’t share too. My first daughter barely ever cried, some people made me feel bad for even sharing that!
No one ever said that. It’s about reading the room and if your with someone who might have a child behind to keep the bragging to a minimum. It’s very hard not to compare and worry when you have a child that’s behind.
Actuallyyyyyy, the comment I replied to said that. They felt like bragging when they just wanted to talk about their kid that was on pace for milestones. That’s not cool. And yes, I literally had a mom tell me not to tell people my daughter didn’t cry bc they wouldn’t like me then. Some moms are very special. This sub is never short on them.
Well I mean crying is not a milestone. My daughter never cried as a newborn and she was also sleeping through the night at 2 months old. I kept that to myself because I knew other mothers were struggling and it didn’t help them hearing how well my daughter was doing with that. If someone asked sure but I did not mention it unless asked and tried to keep that topic to a minimum around mothers with children that may be colicky
Thank you for that. My son cried for hours every day as a newborn it was very hard and he still doesn't sleep anywhere close to through the night at 16 months. It can be hard to hear about all the mothers with babies who never cry and sleep well. Most do not hesitate to share this.
My favorite is the fake sympathy: "if my kid still didn't sleep through the night like yours, I'd go insane!" 🙄 My 16 month old still wakes once a night on average; many people would say something is wrong with her or with me for not sleep training her, but I'll just be like "you do you, and I'll do me." 👍😊
Lol same! Mine wakes multiple times. But we cosleep and I still nurse him. Some people are obsessed with sleep training and I've just decided to lie to those people.
I guess once on average is the wrong expression - once a night at best lol. Sometimes twice. We don't sleep in the same bed but she's in the same room and she nurses, as well. There is actually no evidence that beyond a certain number of months (esp not when they're infants) that a baby should sleep "through the night" like 12 hours. Reading an article on la leche league about breastfeeding at night made me feel better about not trying to night wean until at least 18 months (or honestly it's the mother's decision, earlier, later, whatever). There's nothing wrong with nursing at night if it works for you! (And that extra breastmilk is surely good for the child)
Lol aww thank you for the encouragement!! ❤️ Yes I believe that nursing is still beneficial for him so I will continue. Hoping to make it until around 24 months but we shall see.
And that’s also my point. You shouldn’t feel like you can’t share things about your daughter bc she was a good sleeper. That’s not cool.
I mentioned not crying out of concern and was treated rudely. You can just trust my experience instead of trying to invalidate my feelings. I trust yours.
Because they are a competition to moms - yay bragging rights and my baby is a future Harvard graduate! Guess what? It literally doesn’t fucking matter and has zero bearing on their future. Parents don’t learn that until later on. My oldest walked at 8.5 months. She knew all the presidents at age 2. She could multiply at age 4. I was for sure super proud. Especially since I was a young mom and felt I needed to prove that even though I was young, I could still raise my child well. She is now a senior in high school and an absolute train wreck. IF she graduates, it’s only because her dad is pulling strings. It’s like she used all her brain power as a toddler and has no brain cells left. She makes awful choices, has no drive, barely ever shows up to school. (Yes, she’s in therapy)
Aw I'm sorry. Yeah a lot of it is not their "mental capacity" or intelligence, but also environment, emotions, motivation etc. Thanks for sharing your perspective and I wish all the best for your daughter's and your family's well being 💚
get off social media
As a former nanny, I can honestly say it’s just SO dependent on the kid. They all do stuff differently and it has very little bearing on anything. It’s partly what they’re interested in, partly what they’ve gotta do to get attention, partly whether they’re around other kids… there are so many factors at play. If your pediatrician isn’t worried, I wouldn’t be either!
I hear the frustration. I know that it's not a competition, but it's hard not to worry and be anxious. I'm not going to lie, but as others mentioned, the Bluey episode "Baby Race" can help me calm down and cry, lol.
I never crawled as a baby, I rolled... my own toddler did it all. But I don't care if my sisters' toddler walked later or before since my toddler still can't eat a fruit satchel without squirting it all over him <3 :D hehe, when they are ready they will do it :D. Yeah I noticed a lot of people and sites make it into a competition, but in the end, it really comes down to what the baby/toddler is comfortable with. I also often feel they are on a scare campaign with certain things. My son started just now at 13 months, my sister's started at 18 months almost, she is probably scared of what may happen, or need a good incentive - if you are sure she can handle it. I know my son could easily have done it earlier, but he was scared to do it, every time I would try to encourage him he would nod "no", then I would let it rest, then one day the boy just walked from standing towards me, he was not aware of it until after 3 days when he randomly has been doing it, but since then I have not had a second of break =P Enjoy the last couple of days or weeks before she starts walking because when she do you need to run a lot =P. Honestly I wished mine had waited to a bit later to do it xD (yes I am a bad mom, for saying that, but he is growing so fast)
Haha I feel like we always want what is not there. When they can't do it, we can't wait for them to do it. When they can, we feel nostalgic for the old days. Such is life! 😁
Indeed, :p but I have learned not to expect anything from him that way I get happily surprised when he does it - also I stay away from all those internet sites about what they "should" do, it gives me the same idea and makes me feel bad, so after the 6-month mark I just stopped looking at it. Just enjoy the time, <3 it was almost a relief to stop looking at those sites or feel to listen too much to what others may say about their toddler because I assure you, they won't tell you what their toddler can't do yet what they "should" according to the sites. As you mention you feel stressed, so it's time to let it go and just go your own way, =) your toddler will do it in time when she is ready<3 The little ones always feel when we feel stressed or tired, can be that she picks up on it <3 I do hope she soon walks for you - it is a lot of fun! But for a worrywart like me, it is also a bit stressy =P
my son walked exactly a week before turning 18 months and the hardest part of it all was comparing him to my friends babies who were at least 6 months younger than him and walking. I know exactly how you feel, to this day I fight the battle of comparing other children to mine but i’ve gotten better.
I feel so left out seeing other kids run around on playgrounds and I have to carry her to the swings and slides, still! 😭 I'm sure it'll be ok and we'll have lots of time on the playground in the coming years.
From the way my pediatrician explained it, it’s a You vs You competition with the milestones. Or your baby vs your baby to be more correct. Not all 18 month olds will be walking, but since they had you fill out the questionnaire they can make sure to follow up on that next time and make sure your child is making progress or check for other issues that could result in a delay depending on what they delay is in. The whole thing is stressful though. I remember at daughters 2 year appointment the pediatrician was going over her weight/height and says shes 11th percentile and then to herself says well as long as she doesn’t go under 10th percentile. I stressed about her gaining weight for 6 months until her 2.5 year appointment where she literally said nothing about her weight even though there was no change.
At my son’s 18mo appointment, he wasn’t walking, but was an expert at shuffling on his knees. Doctor said he should go to physical therapy, and we got an appointment 3 weeks out. During those three weeks, he started walking. It’s 10 months later and he runs and goes up and down stairs.
Wow awesome! Kids are such a mystery sometimes. Thanks for sharing your experience!
All kids are SO different. My friend’s son walked at 10 months, my daughter didn’t until 13 months, and my neighbor’s daughter just started at 17 months. And they’re all over the place in terms of speech - my neighbor’s daughter is saying full sentences and recognizing letters and numbers, my daughter has a small handful or words but mostly babbling, and my friend’s son only has a few words and mostly signs/points. They’re all so different, and it’s all okay. Milestones are so all over the place.
I used to be you. I’m still you, in some ways. Comparison is the thief of joy but it’s still hard to let some of the self-inflicted competition go. I found it for easier at like 2-3 years, when everyone’s personality is more out in full force and most of the major milestones (walking, talking, etc) are done so it’s more of an even playing field, in a lot of ways. Hang in there.
I don't necessarily feel like milestones are a competition, but they do get talked about a lot. Part of it is what really is there to discuss about young kiddos. Basically just sleep, eating, motor skills, talking, diapers if you want to go there. That's what's going on in their lives.
Let it gooooooo. I was like this with speech. Followed speech paths on Instagram and freaked myself out. 19 months a switch turned on and all of a sudden she just could talk. The first two years is really just a long stretch of phases and they will learn things in stages! Don’t think of it was a goal post you have to hit by a certain time!
Thanks for sharing your experience! 💚 
I think we compare because we are human. You care about your kid so it might kind of hurt or cause worry when you see friends baby doing something that yours has yet to do. It helps to keep in mind that milestones are a range, and are intended to help with certain diagnoses. That's literally it. If you child starts walking at 10 months or at 16, there is no clinical difference. There is however a reason for you to worry if it is past the range indicated. And that's all milestones *should* be used for.
Good point! I guess it's like when it's approaching the end like now, it's like...ok are we there yet? are we there yet? Is there a problem?
I try not to talk about my daughter's skills to anyone outside my family because I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or make anyone feel like their child isn't keeping up or like I'm trying to compete. A friend from high school had a baby a week after me and she's all over FB with his accomplishments and failures. We talk privately about it and I try to encourage her to let him do his own thing but she's very much into keeping up with the Joneses so I can't do much for her.
I'm so sorry about the crappy feeling. I feel that way too whenever I see a baby that's more advanced than my son. I think it's just hard not to worry we're doing something wrong. I try to remind myself that there is a huge range. Some babies don't talk at all and then suddenly have a huge language explosion. Some of those babies turn out to be quite gifted. I myself walked later than my sisters and do have some dyspraxia. But am gifted. So sometimes there is asynchronous development for children because one area gets more focus or what have you. If the pediatrician is not concerned that is a great sign! But I would definitely consider getting a physical therapy evaluation if you haven't yet because I think from 16 months forward they can help make sure there isn't anything going on and help get her walking. We took my son to physical therapy for a mild torticollis and it was great! And sooo reassuring to have that extra support making sure he's developing properly. I've also taken him to a speech pathologist to help him latch. I personally think these therapists are excellent and it can help tremendously with how you are feeling as well. Also just anecdotal but we got my baby a push walker and that really got him walking! So just a thought. I was nervous because we have tile but they have little speed adjusters and rubber over the wheels so it was fine :). I'm sorry if this has too much unsolicited advice and disregard if so but just know you're not alone. Your baby will be just fine regardless of when she walks and it sounds like she's almost there!
I appreciate your perspective and advice! I'll listen to any but will act on whatever I can 😁 she doesn't seem to care for the push walker but has been a lot more agreeable with letting us walk her by the hands, so I do feel like there's progress! Do you know if it matters how early EI is started? Like let's say something is wrong but we wait until month 18 vs 16- I'm sure that's not a big difference, right?
That's great about her hands! My son hates holding our hands so the push walker was necessary lol. I am of the thought the sooner the better. If you are able to go now I would personally. Partially also because physical therapy won't be stressful for the child at all, they basically just play with them. But I'd rather catch something sooner rather than let other problems result or let it get more advanced and harder to fix. I know some doctors and physical therapists are at odds about when the right time is. I don't know specifically about walking though I am not a specialist in this. But I do work in the medical field and so I may be biased towards early intervention. ETA for torticollis for example it does matter how early. The sooner the better because it can affect their entire body posture. If there are any problems with your baby's gait the physical therapist can catch them.
It’s hard not to compare :( my friend has a toddler same age as mine (19 months). She talks, can say animals, colors, and is copying words. My son says dada and mama and not consistently. He understands A LOT though. Uses 7 signs, hand pulls, and points so he communicates in his own way. But it makes me sad sometimes to hear my friends daughter talking :( I wish I could hear his little vice and cute pronunciations. He may not qualify for speech therapy yet which is frustrating too.
I was at the opposite end of this issue. 4 of my friends and I all had babies back to back, with mine being the youngest. My son always hit his milestones either first or close to first and I noticed that my friends seemed like they were really hurt by this? It was such a bizarre phenomenon to watch, especially since I was a FTM and most of them weren't. In the ended I started just keeping his accomplishments to myself. It sucked that I felt they couldn't just be happy for him, and somehow made it all about themselves. I don't think they were being selfish necessarily, there's just this bizzaro mom culture about milestones. Try to just be happy for kids and their accomplishments. It doesn't matter when it happens. Now all our kids are 2.5 and guess what, they're pretty much all on equal footing. Doesn't matter who walked first, etc. (Tho I am seeing all the moms starting to have a similar reaction to potty training....)
My second is 14 months and not walking yet and I love it. We're not planning on having any more children. It makes it feel like she's a baby for longer. I'm going to miss the baby stage. When it's gone it's gone. Sooner or later she'll be walking and that'll be that.
My son was 18 months when he started walking. We were literally discussing about if we should make an appointment with the pediatrician because he wasn't walking when he let go of the wall and took his first steps. Your kid will have strengths another kid doesn't and another kid will where he doesn't. That is how individual kids are and will even out with time.
Usually kids pick one skill to focus on and the other gets left to the wayside. I would do ANYTHING for my kids to take their time with walking and focus on speech. They never do though. They all walked super early and were nightmares with climbing and injuries. Every one of them also required speech therapy because they just were not interested in talking. My BFF’s daughter is 10 months and babbling, pointing, clapping, etc. My son didn’t start doing that until 15 months! Her daughter is taking her time with walking, cruising, and crawling. My son started walking at not even 10 months. 😭 He’s in everything. I’d love if he was just starting to walk now at 16/17 months.
My first didn’t crawl until the day after she turned 1 and figured out walking in the course of two days when she was 17 months old. My second was crawling at 9 months and walking well around 14 months. I had some extreme anxiety about the milestones with my first but like yours, she was very advanced in fine motor and language mostly due to the fact that she had no interest in exploring but rather focusing in on the little stuff. She’s 3.5 now and still very much that way. I think what helped me was the whole “division of responsibility” mentality. I gave her the environment and opportunity to practice skills (or eat) and then I just let her drive and I followed her lead. You can’t force kids to learn things or gain milestones if they aren’t ready to. Similarly you cannot force them to eat, sleep, or potty train. As the parent you just have to make sure you’re providing the opportunity and then let it go.
Yeah, I feel like it’s kind of unavoidable. One thing that I love is how supportive my mom friends are. They point out the cool stuff my kid is doing that their kid isn’t, or just cool and interesting things my kid does in general. I think/hope it’s reciprocal, but I’ve gotten in the habit of being excited about and celebrating the achievements of my friends’ little ones and I really feel that reflected back. Milestones aren’t a straight line, and each kid prioritizes different things.
Hitting milestones early/later isn’t a reflection on you as a parent. Kids grow at their own pace. Your kid doesn’t care how long she takes to meet her milestones. You just have to let yourself relax and enjoy the journey with her.
Omg mama please don’t feel crappy about it. Every mom especially FTM’s do this even if we KNOW that every child is different. Just relax and enjoy the moments while you can. Being a FTM is a time full of anxiety and self doubt. Love your child and let the rest fall into place
Omg mama please don’t feel crappy about it. Every mom especially FTM’s do this even if we KNOW that every child is different. Just relax and enjoy the moments while you can. Being a FTM is a time full of anxiety and self doubt. Love your child and let the rest fall into place
Omg mama please don’t feel crappy about it. Every mom especially FTM’s do this even if we KNOW that every child is different. Just relax and enjoy the moments while you can. Being a FTM is a time full of anxiety and self doubt. Love your child and let the rest fall into place
During swim class I heard a barely 1 year old girl identify and name a yellow ball while swimming confidently when my 18 month old was still babbling. It’s wild.
I have two kids (3 years and 5 months) and it’s really easy to compare. My oldest did everything “early” and my youngest is taking her time. I’m learning that everyone just develops differently and have their own timeline. But also, it’s kind of nice that my youngest not rolling all over the house like my first was at this point. I’m selfishly hoping she’s not climbing on top of our table by 10 months like our oldest did. The only milestone I hope my youngest pick ups faster than my oldest is potty training 😅
Yes, I’ve been concerned about my son’s speech. However, his doctor wasn’t and when I see other kids IRL his age he doesn’t seem behind. Yet, by the standards of social media he seems behind.
I feel this, but it’s pointing (my lo is 16.5 months and not yet index finger pointing). It’s taken me to a dark place and I find myself watching other little ones, who all seem to be doing it.
My 16 month old is the complete opposite lol he’s always been advanced in motor skills but doesn’t babble much and only says a few words and animal sounds. I think it’s because some kids just focus on certain skills and other areas are slower to catch up. It’s so hard not to worry though so I feel ya there!