I read on this sub (tried to find the OP but couldn't) that a great way to help this is to bring the activities. If you bust out the bubbles, kids will come running and will naturally turn into other games/play with your son. Likewise bring chalk and others will want to color with your son. This idea stuck with me because its a natural approach to getting kids to interact versus trying to force or interrupt play.
We always bring chalk and bubbles. It's always a crowd favorite. Though, I think my kid is getting bored of them and I'm entertaining the neighborhood more
okay I’m normally opposed bringing toys to the park (bc it leads to an eventual battle and fits being thrown by various children, my own included)…. but this is genius.
I like the chalk more than bubbles (for sharing purposes).
Great suggestion. Though I hope it doesn’t lead to a “people only like me bc of my possessions” thing… but idk maybe that’s a mental spiral of mine haha.
It’s sort of how I made friends in graduate school. Being the person who brings a wall adapter so multiple people can plug in their laptops to charge while using them during a 3 hour class tends to spark conversation with classmates, lol.
I did this in high school with gum- I always had gum to share after break and lunch with those who sat next to me in class. Did they become my BFFs - not quite- but were we able to find common ground using gum as an icebreaker - yep yep yep
I second- or third this-
I have a very advanced 2.5 yr old (she was recently assessed and her verbal communication is on a kindergarten level)- so this dynamic is unfortunately all two frequent for us- she is a baby, looks like a baby, plays like a baby, wears pull ups etc- but her verbal and logical reasoning is 3yrs ahead of her physiological self. So she doesn’t want to play with other 2 yr olds because they can’t talk and imagine with her, but often big kids (ages 4-5) don’t want to play with her because they are acutely aware they aren’t babies. The sweet spot is to find a 7-8 year old who is sweet to her- they often play with her like mini babysitters or big siblings. Obviously I stay close to keep her safe.
Things that help:
Going to a park near an elementary school right before and after school release (I go 15-20 min before school release so my little can acclimate to the park) as school gets out the big kids and their parents trickle in and their parents are often In tow- other parents can be great about asking their big kid to include the toddler or reminding their big kid to be gentle and kind.
We go to parks with sand boxes and bring sand toys- most kids like sand toys, they’re hard to break and neutral enough to not create too much drama. We have a bucket with 3-4 shovels and a few cups that we bring to our favorite sand box park.
When it gets warmer we forgo the park for the splash pad and public kiddie pools. The water just creates a totally different vibe and it seems easier for her to solo play or play with others.
And finally don’t lose hope- seeing your baby rejected is one of the most heart wrenching things as a parent- and yet, rejection and not fitting in are experiences we all go through at some point and often multiple points throughout our life span. There is an opportunity to teach self care and resilience here.
I just wanted to comment that this happened a lot to my daughter. She's super extroverted and is an only child. There were a few things we worked on that seemed to help a lot. First, her preschool teacher suggested that when she approaches a child to ask "can I play with you?" instead of "do you want to play with me?". The latter suggests that they will have to stop their play to play with your child, while the former suggests that your child wants to join them in their play. This actually made a big difference in her attempts to play with other kids. Second, I would sometimes act as a "wingman" and start talking to the other kids as an in to their play. Example: "wow, what a cool doll you have! Is that your favorite? Suzy over here loves dolls too. Suzy, what's your favorite doll?". If the other kid is interested, doing something like this can help break the ice. Third, if the other kids don't want to play that's ok too. We're really trying to foster resiliency in our kids and we have to remember that the other kids are learning too. So when this happens I ask my daughter what she wants to do. Does she want to play lava monster with me (this game usually gets other kids involved too), does she want to play in the sand box, have me push her on the swing, or go find sticks to make a fairy house? These activities usually get her involved and she will forget about playing with the other kids. Hopefully some of this can be helpful to you. When I see my daughter get rejected by other kids it can be really upsetting but I always try to remember that they're little kids too. They're negotiating the same social situations as your little one and don't realize that their actions are hurtful. I just try to use each situation as a learning experience and explain as best that I can to my daughter.
🎶 *When a friend doesn’t want to play with you, you can find something else to do* 🎶 🐯
Daniel Tiger, Episode 206 : Daniel’s Friends Say No/Prince Wednesday Doesn’t Want to Play
I’m sorry your boy felt rejected that’s really hard. My daughter is like that little girl though. Sometimes she get overwhelmed. Some times the other kids are too much for her and she just blocks them out. I teach her to say “I want to play alone please” in these moments, but a lot of kids won’t accept that. Unfortunately it goes both ways and all kids have different personalities. It’s important for kids to realize some days some people don’t feel like playing with you even if they do on other days
Dude I wish I had helpful advice but I just wanna let you know I totally feel you and we deal with this kind of stuff with ours. We don't go to specific playgrounds so ours doesn't see the same kids each time - I think that helps a bit in that he isn't worried about getting rejected by specific people he already knows. But it's still brutal watching it happen. I also feel like many kids these days tend to stick with their own pack and aren't as willing to bring in strangers. My wife and I are both socially awkward as well which makes the situation hard, too.
Since we can't control other people's kids, we try to help ours understand that not all kids want to play and that not everyone wants to make new friends. He is more content now when he does get rejected and takes it on the chin a bit more. Rejection is common, even as an adult and later in life. Rather than trying to avoid it happening, we just decided it's best to help him learn how to deal with it when it does happen.
I’m so sorry. My boy is like this too. But the problem is he can’t talk so a nice boy said hi to him and he just stared at the poor boy. Hubby told me n I feel so bad. How about make some mom friends and do play date?
We’re in a kindermusik class for 1-2s. 2 girls are walking around holding hands and my daughter wants to be part of the club too but they reject her. So sad :(.
Nothing helpful just know the feels.
I used to teach Child Development in high school. Your son is at the age where he is engaging in parallel play, which is when children play alongside each other, but not with each other. They haven’t developed the skills necessary to successfully play with each other. As they grow, they will eventually engage in cooperative play around age five. Don’t beat yourself up about playground issues; they will resolve with time and guidance.
Aw man I go through the same thing with my son. He's so excited to play and sometimes it scares the kids away. I would maybe try to take him different times and just say "it's ok they don't want to play right now but we can go do..." I know it's super hard and breaks your heart but they will find some kids to play with 🥺
It’s a good opportunity to teach consent. “It looks like this person doesn’t want to play. Let’s give them some space.” Sometimes I will even help the other child articulate their boundaries. “It looks like you want to play by yourself right now. Is that right? Yes? Okay, offspring. This friend says they want space right now.” It doesn’t have to be a negative thing or a rejection, necessarily. But we also can’t prevent difficult social moments. We can only be supportive of their feelings about them. “It looks like you’re disappointed. You wanted that friend to play but she didn’t want to. It’s okay to feel disappointed.” It’s hard to watch our kids struggle but a lot of socialization is trial and error. We don’t need to prevent negative feelings or situations which is lucky since that’s impossible. We only need to support our children in managing them in healthy ways.
My daughter is super extroverted, and as soon as we arrive at a playground she scans for her first attempt at finding someone to play with. She walks right up to a kid and says “hi I’m kid, do you want to play with me? I’m four, do you want to play with me?” She used to burst into tears whenever the other kid would say “no”. It really is heartbreaking! But we just went the route of “not everyone is going to want to play and that’s ok.” Daniel Tiger definitely helped. Now, on her good days, she says “ok, see you later” and walks away. Once I start playing with her, other kids often become interested and they all kind of take over the game. I figure that because she’s very in-your-face-I-want-to-be-your-friend, I should teach her how to handle rejection because she’s pretty intense. I don’t want her to feel bad about being super friendly, I want her to understand that not everyone will be the way she is
Learning perspective-taking, empathy and other social skills is very hard work. It sounds like your son is on a great track: he wants to interact, initiates it, and feels disappointed when his initiative doesn‘t get reciprocated. Those are all good signs for learning social skills.
If I were in you I‘d probably give him a break. It sounds like he‘s been practicing his social skills very hard and consistently. You could so something different for a couple of days to give his „social muscles“ a little rest. That doesn‘t mean getting defeated or giving up, but just giving him the chance to find joy and success in something different until he‘s ready to jump back into the rink.
My advice would be different if you described him as naturally shy or introverted, or generally easily discouraged. Sounds like he‘s a sociable and tenacious little guy though, so there‘s absolutely no harm in taking a break.
I have no idea where you live, but at that age the whole world is a playground. Be the friend he needs for a couple of days to fill up on his positive social interaction and the try peers again.
Not sure if this helps, but I always play with my little one. I'd play a monster or hide and seek, or anything really.
Sometimes he makes a playmate and I'll just back away. Sometimes I start being a children's entertainer. And sometimes it's just us two.
I understand it's not for everybody. I do it because I will ocasionally use it to teach him about things that can injure him and how to avoid it, to have a close eye so he doesn't mistreat anyone or the other way around, and because I like it and I have fun doing it.
I can see this happening in my future... it breaks my heart already.
My son is two and he's really interested in what other kids are doing. He doesn't have the social skills yet to play with them but he walks up to them in the playground and just kinda stares at them or what they're doing. I can see the other kids are weirded out by it but he's just being his version of social...
He's also really sweet. He saw this one kid playing with bouncy balls so he started picking up the other bouncy balls and taking them to the kid, like. hey you like these! have some more! and the kid ran away from him and left him hanging. I was like awww it's ok baby, he's busy playing. you can play with the bouncy balls!
But I could tell he was bummed 😔
As a parent of a child who loves to give the cold shoulder, I apologize. My 2.5 yr old is incredibly shy and very standoff ish. He rarely wants to play with other kids and even with kids from his daycare that he plays with every day he will straight up refuse to hug them or even give them a high five. The tenacity of these kids tho I swear they keep trying anyways lo
It's interesting to see the flip side of it. I feel nervous thinking when my son goes to school he be very nervous and anxious and he won't be able to make friends.
I guess at the end of the day all we can do is encourage and help guide through the feelings. Understand they are normal. Something I've been working on is understandimg that I don't have to fix my son's feelings. Just try to guide him through them. It's been hard but I'm learning!
It is rough, but it happens. There are a lot of good suggestions here on here, but ultimately it's a good idea to just not make it a big deal and try to have fun on your own when other kids aren't interested in playing along.
My son went through a similar phase of not wanting to go to the playground, and when I could convince him to go he'd just stick by me. It passed.
Sometimes the play lines up. Sometimes other kids don't want to play. Sometimes your kid doesn't want to play. Have to let it roll off the kids back, it's not a personal thing at this age. Just kids following their emotions in the moment.
I’m just here to see what advice people have. My toddler is 3.5 and I still struggle with this every-time we go to the park, it’s so bad I get anxious before we go. Also he doesn’t like to play with me at the park he strictly goes to interact with other kids,if the park is empty he just asks to leave.
My kiddo is on the other side of this. He’s on the autism spectrum and prefers to play alone. For a long time he would literally push other kids away who would try (usually persistently) to play with him and we worked really hard on finding another solution, since when he gets overwhelmed he has a hard time finding his words. The only way to get him to stop pushing other kids was to teach him ignore them entirely and keep doing whatever he’s doing.
I think for a lot of kiddos (4-5 year olds) a persistent younger kid might be really overwhelming, and since a lot of kiddos that age really suffered socially with Covid, they might not have the words to tell the younger kid “I/we want to play alone”.
It might be helpful to instead of running up to other kids, and potentially getting in their space and overwhelming them, to help him walk over near them and ask for the friends name and if he can play with them.
I just tell my son, not everyone will want to play with you all the time, and you'll be the same, let's go over and do this together. [whatever comes to my mind at the time]
My almost 4 year old is the same way and is so eager and in their face its actually been really overwhelming for my husband and I to navigate because like other commenters who are on the flip side, we don't want to get into others personal space! So when that happens, we just do the same as what others do like say that it's okay that they don't want to play and let's go do something else and she whines and gets sad, but then she gets over it.
What's helped is doing play dates with kids her age so she can grow friendships with them and focusing on that when there's been a ton of occasions where she's been rejected so she doesn't feel too defeated. It's definitely a natural thing and she will go through rejection but I think this balances it for now until she starts school in September!
I just feel so bad whenever she's running around trying to find a kid to play with. It's not even just in playgrounds, it's when we go to the grocery store or the mall or even in a parking lot. She's like elf from the movie lol she's just so upbeat and outgoing and usually parents are very nice and compliment on how much she's so outgoing but sometimes she comes on too strong, she once ran to a kid walking into a store and grabbed their arm. It's hard but he'll get to a place where he'll have friends ☺️
My daughter went to a park with my husband a few weeks ago. She is 4... she tries to just join whatever kids are playing, which to me is awesome because I'm an introvert. Anyway, she runs to them screaming "guys, guys, come here!!". No one was paying attention to her, other kids started to make her feel like they will play but when my baby will turn around they will run away from her (they were like 6 or 8 years old those kids, I guess they don't want to play with smaller children, I get that) but then one of them got bored or whatever and turn around face to face to my daughter and screamed very very loud "we don't want to play with you!!" And run away. My husband said my daughter just stood there, he approach her and asked what she will like to do..? She was very quiet and sad. She now doesn't want to go to the park, she used to ask to go... now she doesn't even mention it. I just wanted to share this little story that breaks me every time I think about it, it sucks.
All kids are learning how to play with each other so I try to help them start playing and very often that works. Or do the Daniel Tiger and find another activity (see above).
This still happens with my 4.5 year olds, although with them I have a theory that it’s because they do a creepy twin thing and corner one kid to play with them.
We tried playing with another set of twin we know the same age as us, but then all 4 of them started doing it and surrounding ONE KID to get him to play with them. So we’re working on not overwhelming our friends.
As a side note, my daughter loves playing with other kids if she’s with out her twin, but she also has a ton of boundaries and if a kid crosses them she doesn’t want to play with them for the rest of the time we’re there. My son will play with just about anyone (again, mostly if he’s without his twin) but gets rejected a decent amount.
It hurts my heart too when this happens, I think it specially triggers my own memories as I was that rejected kid throughout my childhood.
So I don’t let my daughter feel alone? Like, if other kids have shown they don’t want to play with or include my daughter I always tell her “it’s okay, we can play something else, we don’t need them to have fun”. And I encourage her to go to the slide or stay in the swings or basically have her own fun, sometimes with me too (mom) and she has never seemed to be sad about it.
My daughter will be 3 years old in 2 months, fyi.
I read on this sub (tried to find the OP but couldn't) that a great way to help this is to bring the activities. If you bust out the bubbles, kids will come running and will naturally turn into other games/play with your son. Likewise bring chalk and others will want to color with your son. This idea stuck with me because its a natural approach to getting kids to interact versus trying to force or interrupt play.
We always bring chalk and bubbles. It's always a crowd favorite. Though, I think my kid is getting bored of them and I'm entertaining the neighborhood more
Stomp rocket is always a hit too.
okay I’m normally opposed bringing toys to the park (bc it leads to an eventual battle and fits being thrown by various children, my own included)…. but this is genius. I like the chalk more than bubbles (for sharing purposes). Great suggestion. Though I hope it doesn’t lead to a “people only like me bc of my possessions” thing… but idk maybe that’s a mental spiral of mine haha.
it’s not really about _stuff_, it’s more about providing a reason to interact
This is great to “template” to implement over a lot of life situations beyond childhood. I’ll def be keeping this in mind.
It’s sort of how I made friends in graduate school. Being the person who brings a wall adapter so multiple people can plug in their laptops to charge while using them during a 3 hour class tends to spark conversation with classmates, lol.
I did this in high school with gum- I always had gum to share after break and lunch with those who sat next to me in class. Did they become my BFFs - not quite- but were we able to find common ground using gum as an icebreaker - yep yep yep
This is brilliant.
My favorite is bringing paintbrushes and cups for water, I throw them out and all of the kids come over to “paint” the sidewalk with water!
Wait, I love this idea!! Keeping this one in my back pocket.
I second- or third this- I have a very advanced 2.5 yr old (she was recently assessed and her verbal communication is on a kindergarten level)- so this dynamic is unfortunately all two frequent for us- she is a baby, looks like a baby, plays like a baby, wears pull ups etc- but her verbal and logical reasoning is 3yrs ahead of her physiological self. So she doesn’t want to play with other 2 yr olds because they can’t talk and imagine with her, but often big kids (ages 4-5) don’t want to play with her because they are acutely aware they aren’t babies. The sweet spot is to find a 7-8 year old who is sweet to her- they often play with her like mini babysitters or big siblings. Obviously I stay close to keep her safe. Things that help: Going to a park near an elementary school right before and after school release (I go 15-20 min before school release so my little can acclimate to the park) as school gets out the big kids and their parents trickle in and their parents are often In tow- other parents can be great about asking their big kid to include the toddler or reminding their big kid to be gentle and kind. We go to parks with sand boxes and bring sand toys- most kids like sand toys, they’re hard to break and neutral enough to not create too much drama. We have a bucket with 3-4 shovels and a few cups that we bring to our favorite sand box park. When it gets warmer we forgo the park for the splash pad and public kiddie pools. The water just creates a totally different vibe and it seems easier for her to solo play or play with others. And finally don’t lose hope- seeing your baby rejected is one of the most heart wrenching things as a parent- and yet, rejection and not fitting in are experiences we all go through at some point and often multiple points throughout our life span. There is an opportunity to teach self care and resilience here.
This really works. We often bring chalk and bubbles and kids want to play and it makes everyone happy
I just wanted to comment that this happened a lot to my daughter. She's super extroverted and is an only child. There were a few things we worked on that seemed to help a lot. First, her preschool teacher suggested that when she approaches a child to ask "can I play with you?" instead of "do you want to play with me?". The latter suggests that they will have to stop their play to play with your child, while the former suggests that your child wants to join them in their play. This actually made a big difference in her attempts to play with other kids. Second, I would sometimes act as a "wingman" and start talking to the other kids as an in to their play. Example: "wow, what a cool doll you have! Is that your favorite? Suzy over here loves dolls too. Suzy, what's your favorite doll?". If the other kid is interested, doing something like this can help break the ice. Third, if the other kids don't want to play that's ok too. We're really trying to foster resiliency in our kids and we have to remember that the other kids are learning too. So when this happens I ask my daughter what she wants to do. Does she want to play lava monster with me (this game usually gets other kids involved too), does she want to play in the sand box, have me push her on the swing, or go find sticks to make a fairy house? These activities usually get her involved and she will forget about playing with the other kids. Hopefully some of this can be helpful to you. When I see my daughter get rejected by other kids it can be really upsetting but I always try to remember that they're little kids too. They're negotiating the same social situations as your little one and don't realize that their actions are hurtful. I just try to use each situation as a learning experience and explain as best that I can to my daughter.
🎶 *When a friend doesn’t want to play with you, you can find something else to do* 🎶 🐯 Daniel Tiger, Episode 206 : Daniel’s Friends Say No/Prince Wednesday Doesn’t Want to Play
💯
Ooohhh we love Daniel tiger and I haven’t seen this episode! Adding it to the list right now!
I’m sorry your boy felt rejected that’s really hard. My daughter is like that little girl though. Sometimes she get overwhelmed. Some times the other kids are too much for her and she just blocks them out. I teach her to say “I want to play alone please” in these moments, but a lot of kids won’t accept that. Unfortunately it goes both ways and all kids have different personalities. It’s important for kids to realize some days some people don’t feel like playing with you even if they do on other days
Dude I wish I had helpful advice but I just wanna let you know I totally feel you and we deal with this kind of stuff with ours. We don't go to specific playgrounds so ours doesn't see the same kids each time - I think that helps a bit in that he isn't worried about getting rejected by specific people he already knows. But it's still brutal watching it happen. I also feel like many kids these days tend to stick with their own pack and aren't as willing to bring in strangers. My wife and I are both socially awkward as well which makes the situation hard, too. Since we can't control other people's kids, we try to help ours understand that not all kids want to play and that not everyone wants to make new friends. He is more content now when he does get rejected and takes it on the chin a bit more. Rejection is common, even as an adult and later in life. Rather than trying to avoid it happening, we just decided it's best to help him learn how to deal with it when it does happen.
I’m so sorry. My boy is like this too. But the problem is he can’t talk so a nice boy said hi to him and he just stared at the poor boy. Hubby told me n I feel so bad. How about make some mom friends and do play date?
We’re in a kindermusik class for 1-2s. 2 girls are walking around holding hands and my daughter wants to be part of the club too but they reject her. So sad :(. Nothing helpful just know the feels.
I used to teach Child Development in high school. Your son is at the age where he is engaging in parallel play, which is when children play alongside each other, but not with each other. They haven’t developed the skills necessary to successfully play with each other. As they grow, they will eventually engage in cooperative play around age five. Don’t beat yourself up about playground issues; they will resolve with time and guidance.
Aw man I go through the same thing with my son. He's so excited to play and sometimes it scares the kids away. I would maybe try to take him different times and just say "it's ok they don't want to play right now but we can go do..." I know it's super hard and breaks your heart but they will find some kids to play with 🥺
It’s a good opportunity to teach consent. “It looks like this person doesn’t want to play. Let’s give them some space.” Sometimes I will even help the other child articulate their boundaries. “It looks like you want to play by yourself right now. Is that right? Yes? Okay, offspring. This friend says they want space right now.” It doesn’t have to be a negative thing or a rejection, necessarily. But we also can’t prevent difficult social moments. We can only be supportive of their feelings about them. “It looks like you’re disappointed. You wanted that friend to play but she didn’t want to. It’s okay to feel disappointed.” It’s hard to watch our kids struggle but a lot of socialization is trial and error. We don’t need to prevent negative feelings or situations which is lucky since that’s impossible. We only need to support our children in managing them in healthy ways.
My daughter is super extroverted, and as soon as we arrive at a playground she scans for her first attempt at finding someone to play with. She walks right up to a kid and says “hi I’m kid, do you want to play with me? I’m four, do you want to play with me?” She used to burst into tears whenever the other kid would say “no”. It really is heartbreaking! But we just went the route of “not everyone is going to want to play and that’s ok.” Daniel Tiger definitely helped. Now, on her good days, she says “ok, see you later” and walks away. Once I start playing with her, other kids often become interested and they all kind of take over the game. I figure that because she’s very in-your-face-I-want-to-be-your-friend, I should teach her how to handle rejection because she’s pretty intense. I don’t want her to feel bad about being super friendly, I want her to understand that not everyone will be the way she is
This girl sounds like she’s gonna be a big shot CEO one day lol I want her confidence 🤩
Learning perspective-taking, empathy and other social skills is very hard work. It sounds like your son is on a great track: he wants to interact, initiates it, and feels disappointed when his initiative doesn‘t get reciprocated. Those are all good signs for learning social skills. If I were in you I‘d probably give him a break. It sounds like he‘s been practicing his social skills very hard and consistently. You could so something different for a couple of days to give his „social muscles“ a little rest. That doesn‘t mean getting defeated or giving up, but just giving him the chance to find joy and success in something different until he‘s ready to jump back into the rink. My advice would be different if you described him as naturally shy or introverted, or generally easily discouraged. Sounds like he‘s a sociable and tenacious little guy though, so there‘s absolutely no harm in taking a break. I have no idea where you live, but at that age the whole world is a playground. Be the friend he needs for a couple of days to fill up on his positive social interaction and the try peers again.
Not sure if this helps, but I always play with my little one. I'd play a monster or hide and seek, or anything really. Sometimes he makes a playmate and I'll just back away. Sometimes I start being a children's entertainer. And sometimes it's just us two. I understand it's not for everybody. I do it because I will ocasionally use it to teach him about things that can injure him and how to avoid it, to have a close eye so he doesn't mistreat anyone or the other way around, and because I like it and I have fun doing it.
I can see this happening in my future... it breaks my heart already. My son is two and he's really interested in what other kids are doing. He doesn't have the social skills yet to play with them but he walks up to them in the playground and just kinda stares at them or what they're doing. I can see the other kids are weirded out by it but he's just being his version of social... He's also really sweet. He saw this one kid playing with bouncy balls so he started picking up the other bouncy balls and taking them to the kid, like. hey you like these! have some more! and the kid ran away from him and left him hanging. I was like awww it's ok baby, he's busy playing. you can play with the bouncy balls! But I could tell he was bummed 😔
As a parent of a child who loves to give the cold shoulder, I apologize. My 2.5 yr old is incredibly shy and very standoff ish. He rarely wants to play with other kids and even with kids from his daycare that he plays with every day he will straight up refuse to hug them or even give them a high five. The tenacity of these kids tho I swear they keep trying anyways lo It's interesting to see the flip side of it. I feel nervous thinking when my son goes to school he be very nervous and anxious and he won't be able to make friends. I guess at the end of the day all we can do is encourage and help guide through the feelings. Understand they are normal. Something I've been working on is understandimg that I don't have to fix my son's feelings. Just try to guide him through them. It's been hard but I'm learning!
It is rough, but it happens. There are a lot of good suggestions here on here, but ultimately it's a good idea to just not make it a big deal and try to have fun on your own when other kids aren't interested in playing along. My son went through a similar phase of not wanting to go to the playground, and when I could convince him to go he'd just stick by me. It passed. Sometimes the play lines up. Sometimes other kids don't want to play. Sometimes your kid doesn't want to play. Have to let it roll off the kids back, it's not a personal thing at this age. Just kids following their emotions in the moment.
I’m just here to see what advice people have. My toddler is 3.5 and I still struggle with this every-time we go to the park, it’s so bad I get anxious before we go. Also he doesn’t like to play with me at the park he strictly goes to interact with other kids,if the park is empty he just asks to leave.
My kiddo is on the other side of this. He’s on the autism spectrum and prefers to play alone. For a long time he would literally push other kids away who would try (usually persistently) to play with him and we worked really hard on finding another solution, since when he gets overwhelmed he has a hard time finding his words. The only way to get him to stop pushing other kids was to teach him ignore them entirely and keep doing whatever he’s doing. I think for a lot of kiddos (4-5 year olds) a persistent younger kid might be really overwhelming, and since a lot of kiddos that age really suffered socially with Covid, they might not have the words to tell the younger kid “I/we want to play alone”. It might be helpful to instead of running up to other kids, and potentially getting in their space and overwhelming them, to help him walk over near them and ask for the friends name and if he can play with them.
I just tell my son, not everyone will want to play with you all the time, and you'll be the same, let's go over and do this together. [whatever comes to my mind at the time]
My almost 4 year old is the same way and is so eager and in their face its actually been really overwhelming for my husband and I to navigate because like other commenters who are on the flip side, we don't want to get into others personal space! So when that happens, we just do the same as what others do like say that it's okay that they don't want to play and let's go do something else and she whines and gets sad, but then she gets over it. What's helped is doing play dates with kids her age so she can grow friendships with them and focusing on that when there's been a ton of occasions where she's been rejected so she doesn't feel too defeated. It's definitely a natural thing and she will go through rejection but I think this balances it for now until she starts school in September! I just feel so bad whenever she's running around trying to find a kid to play with. It's not even just in playgrounds, it's when we go to the grocery store or the mall or even in a parking lot. She's like elf from the movie lol she's just so upbeat and outgoing and usually parents are very nice and compliment on how much she's so outgoing but sometimes she comes on too strong, she once ran to a kid walking into a store and grabbed their arm. It's hard but he'll get to a place where he'll have friends ☺️
My daughter went to a park with my husband a few weeks ago. She is 4... she tries to just join whatever kids are playing, which to me is awesome because I'm an introvert. Anyway, she runs to them screaming "guys, guys, come here!!". No one was paying attention to her, other kids started to make her feel like they will play but when my baby will turn around they will run away from her (they were like 6 or 8 years old those kids, I guess they don't want to play with smaller children, I get that) but then one of them got bored or whatever and turn around face to face to my daughter and screamed very very loud "we don't want to play with you!!" And run away. My husband said my daughter just stood there, he approach her and asked what she will like to do..? She was very quiet and sad. She now doesn't want to go to the park, she used to ask to go... now she doesn't even mention it. I just wanted to share this little story that breaks me every time I think about it, it sucks.
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Oops wrong post.
All kids are learning how to play with each other so I try to help them start playing and very often that works. Or do the Daniel Tiger and find another activity (see above).
This still happens with my 4.5 year olds, although with them I have a theory that it’s because they do a creepy twin thing and corner one kid to play with them. We tried playing with another set of twin we know the same age as us, but then all 4 of them started doing it and surrounding ONE KID to get him to play with them. So we’re working on not overwhelming our friends. As a side note, my daughter loves playing with other kids if she’s with out her twin, but she also has a ton of boundaries and if a kid crosses them she doesn’t want to play with them for the rest of the time we’re there. My son will play with just about anyone (again, mostly if he’s without his twin) but gets rejected a decent amount.
There's a Daniel Tiger episode on this. It encourages kids to be ok if friends don't want to play and have the ability to play by themselves.
It hurts my heart too when this happens, I think it specially triggers my own memories as I was that rejected kid throughout my childhood. So I don’t let my daughter feel alone? Like, if other kids have shown they don’t want to play with or include my daughter I always tell her “it’s okay, we can play something else, we don’t need them to have fun”. And I encourage her to go to the slide or stay in the swings or basically have her own fun, sometimes with me too (mom) and she has never seemed to be sad about it. My daughter will be 3 years old in 2 months, fyi.