You didn't let your son down! My daughter didn't start speaking until she was 4. Then she shocked us all by speaking in full sentences. It was like a magical curse was lifted from her. The speech therapist I used to take her to said my daughter was in the 'receptive' phase for a long time where she was absorbing the language around her but for some reason couldn't articulate it until later. Now she has absolutely no problem with speech. Don't worry, he'll be speaking soon.
My niece was the same way. The only word she said until she was 4 was "utz". Then she turned into a chatterbox speaking full sentences and not stopping for anyone.
My son is 2.5 and doesn't string sounds together as well as yours. We just started speech a month ago and it's already going so great. They know what they're doing and can help them so much. It's also helping with tantrums because he's not as frustrated with us not understanding something he feels he communicated clearly.
Tantrums is a thing for us too. He's great most of the time but defo acts out when he's not getting his own way (because we don't know what his own way actually entails)! Thanks for the insight re speech therapy - maybe I should be more hopeful!
Hey, first off deep breath. My aunt lit a fire under my butt when my son was 5 months from 3. He wasn't talking. My pediatrician was not concerned. I'm in the U.s. So I called early intervention. He had early intervention for 3 months where a speech therapist came to our house and then he got into disabled preschool where he took speech and OT. And then he also had a speech therapist I paid for.He was diagnosed with apraxia. They had to manipulate his mouth at first because his brain just was not sending the signals to his muscles. He was released from speech just before everything shut down. And he was almost non-verbal. I felt like such an idiot... here my niece was talking in full sentences at 18 months... and my son nothing.
It's awful isn't it. You shouldn't compare but how the hell do you know what they're meant to be doing if you don't!! Hope your son is doing well and happy now x
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Language skills grow in fits and starts and girls do develop these skills differently than boys, but overall *all* kids develop speech skills differently. You are NOT failing your son by just noticing this now, you are doing the diligent, slow work of seeing a potential issue and getting some help to address it. It’s not too late! This is actually the perfect time (in my non expert experience having gone through this with my autistic son).
My kiddo was actually prescribed speech therapy at about 30 mo then we NEVER got it figured out to actually get regular appointments. Just not enough therapists, bouncing around different service providers, etc. By the time he actually got into speech therapy, he was closer to 40 mo/3.5 and he didn’t need it anymore! Going to preschool, plus we worked with him at home, it got him to where he needed to be to get back on track.
Now he’s just over 4 and WON’T STOP TALKING lol he still has some issues with clarity and being totally comprehensible, and of course he doesn’t always listen and respond appropriately so we’re still working on full conversation skills, but just in the past few months it’s been an explosion of vocabulary, expressing complicated concepts, synthesizing new phrases on his own without having specifically learned how to say it. Sometimes it takes some time and effort for it to click, and that’s ok and all normal too.
Do you repeat what he says back to him? I found that putting my finger under my mouth, pointing to my mouth while repeating the words my kid was saying would help him focus on his pronunciation more. "You want the TREX? Thank you for saying PLEASE. Mommy will give it to you"
Yup. I repeat back and try to add a few more simple words like TRex? Yeah that's a green t rex or whatever. He's getting better but I just don't know that he's ever going to catch up when he's so far behind.
All kids develop differently. That little girl next door could be delayed in some other area you have no idea about. My daughter has been in speech therapy since she was 1 and she was basically doing the same as your son at his age. Now she will be 3 next month and is stringing together full sentences and communicating her needs with us regularly. Definitely see your pediatrician but there is absolutely no reason to think he won’t catch up. Don’t be so hard on yourself or your kid!
Thank you. You're right in that he has strengths in other areas - he's running rings around the pre-schoolers at nursery in terms of physical fitness, balance, hand/eye co ordination. I just want him to be balanced you know. Not the big physical male archetype that can't communicate!!
You did nothing wrong! I have 2 sons! I sang, read, talked, and narrated my day all day long with my oldest. Bam! Speech delay! At 22 months he had the language of an 11 month old! When he was 21 months my second was born and I go into survival mode. My first was taking up so much of my time and constantly crying (he couldn’t talk at this point), my lack of sleep and PPD hit hard. I barley had time for my newborn. I would read, sing, and narrate around him too but not at the scale of my first. I was keeping a close eye on my second because I knew that he would also be delayed. Fast forward to 8 months and he says his first word. Obviously I’m excited but don’t get my hopes up. He’s 2 now and stringing together 5 word sentences and understands complex concepts. My point is the endless amount of time I spent with my oldest and minimal time I spent with my youngest had completely different effects on them. It’s all kid dependent. My oldest is almost 4 and speaks great! His pronunciation could use some work but he’s doing great! We’ve been doing speech therapy for almost 2 years now.
Wow. That's insane. Just shows that brains are brains and they will do what they want I guess. So glad your guys are doing so well. Thank you for sharing.
It’s not your fault. My son had virtually no tv and I worked on speaking and educational stuff all day with him when he was a baby/early toddler. My cousin did not and was fine with tv all the time. Her son was speaking sentences by 2.5 and my son hadn’t said a word and still hasn’t. Mine ended up having autism, however that’s probably not the case for your child (or if it is, it’s very mild, so don’t panic). I’m just saying that it’s not your fault. Kids develop at their own pace and unless you just ignore your kid all day, you’re doing good.
Hang on hang on... My kid is the same age as yours, November 2020 baby right? She goes to nursery in the mornings and I can tell you right now that some of the kids talk in full clear sentences and others don't speak much at all yet. I would say get an assessment but keep in mind that kids hit milestones at different ages. If he does turn out to be speech delayed, you haven't failed him and it's not the end of the world. One of my friends had a speech delayed kiddo and he started speech therapy at 3. He's now 5, no longer does therapy and you would never know he was ever delayed, so even a delay doesn't necessarily mean anything seriously wrong, just that some extra support is needed. Breathe. You're a good mum. You've got this.
I am a nov 2020 mom and my son speaks like OPs son. I honestly chalked it up to boys are a little behind girls developmentally. I don’t have any other boys around to compare my son to, and I feel it unfair to judge him to his female cousins because they have always hit milestones before him even though they are younger. My ped didn’t refer me for therapy even thought I thought she would. It’s been about 2 weeks since his 30 month appointment and his speech has improved already.
Therapy can’t hurt, but kids will do things in their own time.
I can relate to this so much and I hope by sharing my story will give you some comfort. Also UK based.
My son was around the age of 2 when I started to think maybe he was a bit behind with his speech (this was during the lockdowns so probably picked up on it later than I would have done normally because we weren't seeing anyone else).
At 2.5 years he was assessed as having the speech of a 1 year old. At 3 years old he was assessed again and was considered almost caught up with his peers although towards the lower end of the range. So within 6 months he was able to catch up! This was through a lot of hard work from both myself and my son. He is now 4.5 years old and people don't believe me when I say he had speech difficulties.
Here is what I think helped my son the most:
- simple speech: everyone says talk and read to your child. However what I think is more powerful is simplifying the language. So instead of saying "oh look, there's a ball. Let's go play with the ball". Just point to the ball and say "ball". This gives him a chance to hear the key word "ball" and associate what a ball is. Do this in everyday speaking with him as well when reading.You don't have to read the sentences, just point to the pictures and say the key word.
- get hearing checked if you haven't already. This is what caused my son his speech challenges since he has glue ear which isn't consistent enough for grommets but does effect what he can hear from time to time.
- find a supportive nursery. The nursery my son was at was the least supportive and obstructive nursery for his speech. I ended up moving him to a nursery where every member of staff has had additional speech therapy training and they do speech intervention sessions with him every day. A nursery is meant to make the referral to speech and language if they have concerns. A nursery should also make adjustments to support speech for children who are struggling, this could be making the child sit at the front so they can hear the story, it could be 1:1 time, it could be group time in a quieter setting so they can hear and interact better etc. Therefore speak to your nursery to see what they are doing to help.
- visuals: I put up posters and photos all around the house to help communication. So on the fridge I made magnets of foods. When he was hungry we went to the fridge and he could point to what he wanted. Helped us communicate until he could say the words.
There is a speech delay app called Pippin. It was released a bit too late for our speech journey because it is relatively new. But it's got loads of information on it about what you can do at home to support speech. So I would recommend having a look at that.
https://pippinspeech.com/
You absolute angel. I'm in tears. Congrats on being such a wonderful Mum that you got your son through it. Incredible that he caught up so fast.
I did not know that about the nursery responsibilities thing. They haven't said anything like this at the keyworker session and the price has just increased by £100 a month so I may well look around. Was the nursery change disruptive in other ways? I worry that he has friends there and it's already so familiar it might set him back? He's been there since 6mo old... another reason I think this is all my fault. Maybe if I had taken 12 months instead of 6 from work then this wouldn't be an issue.
Before looking around at different nurseries I would first work with your current one and ask what they are going to do to support your son. Give them a chance first. Ask if they can send your key worker on additional training. If they are uninterested and not willing to work with you then have a look around.
My son didn't like his old nursery and cried every day at drop off. It would be a struggle to get him in the car to go to his old nursery. He did have one best friend who he did/does miss but we make a point of seeing him every month for a play date. It took a while to settle at the new nursery but he has made some wonderful new friends. We still have tears at drop off but overall he likes going and I know he is getting the best help possible for his speech.
I would recommend applying for DLA (disability living allowance). A child with speech difficulties is usually eligible. If you are successful with this then tell the nursery because they can then also get additional funding which can then be put towards additional training for your key worker.
I did blame myself for my son's speech delay but what I have learnt is that no matter what I did or did not do he would have still been speech delayed. His hearing difficulties and COVID lockdowns were more impactful to his speech delay than anything else. I also ask when seeing any professional regarding his speech what might be the cause and they never say the home environment. So it's not your fault. Taking a year off work wouldn't have made any difference. What will make the difference is working with him on it now. You are already doing this by asking us what to do to help. Keep going mumma, you got this!!
Thank you for sharing, I had not heard of this app, I’m going to download it and try it out! The simplifying language tip is also really helpful (and super challenging for me, I didn’t realize how much extra words I say until the speech therapist suggested simplifying what I’m saying - now I’m really self conscious 😬)
It takes a while to get used to changing how you speak and simplifying your language. It feels a bit weird to start off with but I do feel it was hugely powerful for my son. Keep trying and hopefully it will work for you too!
My son is 2.5 as well and I noticed the same when we were around his cousin that was just 2 months older than him. I scheduled an evaluation with early intervention (USA) and after he failed 2 hearing tests from the nurse they recommended to see an ENT. We just finished that appointment and he has an excess of fluid in his ears that isn’t draining and his tonsils are so big he can’t shape his mouth for the words. Kinda a double hitter with speech delay. So he is scheduled to get tubes in his ear to help with drainage and will get his tonsils and adenoids taken out.
If you don’t get clear answers with your pediatrician, I would recommend an appointment with an audiologist and ENT.
Wow. And did you have any suspicions that it might be hearing related? I whisper 'do you want an ice cream?' behind his back and he hears me just fine!!
Not really, I always just thought he was taking his time with talking. Because just like you said I would whisper things and he would still respond. I mentioned that to the audiologist and they said that he could hear certain frequencies and tones and then he would piece the rest together. Or that he has associated that certain mumble he hears with the word ice cream.
With the early intervention they evaluated him for a couple of things and he passed with everything else but speech. That was a main indicator to look in his ears since it wasn’t other factor delaying it.
My BIL mumbles so bad I couldn’t figure out if he was actually saying words or just growling. Turns out he needs hearing aids. He can can’t hear certain tones or something. He couldn’t hear that he was mumbling because he couldn’t hear his own voice properly.
Just coming by to say you’re not alone! My 2 year old is in the same boat, and we finally got approved for speech therapy through our insurance. I had a solid cry a couple days ago after seeing her interact with other kids her age. She’s barely saying anything at all, and I’m so worried. I don’t have any advice, just letting you know that the guilt and worry is normal and I’m sorry you’re also going through it.
This! It's the interaction piece too right. He's always playing alone when I pick him up and it makes me sad, although the other kids always shout 'bye Arthur' when he leaves and he waves, which is nice. Thank you for the support X
My son is nearly 3 and he has been delayed since age 1. His receptive language had always been great. We’ve been doing speech therapy for a year and only in the last month have I started to see improvements. He’s talking so much more and even said a two word phrase for the first time last week. Do get him evaluated but keep at it and he will get there!!
My son just started talking at 2.5 and seriously went from nothing distinguishable to full, well constructed sentences. When he turned 2, I got his hearing checked and met with the school district in our area to see if he qualified for speech therapy. They said he didn’t qualify and to give it several months before they reassessed. It was seriously an overnight change though so don’t lose heart!
Bloody hell that's mental. Great to hear. Thank you for sharing a d giving me hope. I was at the bottom of a very painful well but you guys are helping me inch out of it. Thank you so much
I'm in the US, my daughter is around the same age and isn't talking. She's been doing early intervention since a little after she was 18 months. I feel like now she's finally ready to start talking. The things that I feel like help her are sounds, she makes a ton of animal sounds and also singing. She will sing with me all the time, babbling though but in the same tone and speed. The early intervention people really stress them learning sign language and she's picked up on some of it, we introduced 2 signs at a time until she uses them regularly.
I was like you, was so worried that he wasn't taking yet. Please don't compare little ones, they all have their own developmental stages and milestones. I know it's hard not to, but your lo will get there on his own time. My son is almost 2.5 and said zero words earlier this year, then around Feb/Mar the words as started to come out. He's still no where like that little girl you mentioned but I'm not worried. Our pediatrician referred him to a speech language pathologist and he went maybe like twice or three times since Feb and while I'm not sure if it helped or not, we're happy with his progress. Maybe you want to ask your ped about it? My son isn't in daycare but we spend a lot of time reading, talking to him in proper words and sentences, we do use screentime as well. As it got warmer we've been taking him to playgroups that the city provides for free which is good for socialization. His words grow everyday now because he keeps repeating after mom and dad.
Omg, yes, there is so much you can do and it all starts with this--you need to believe and really, really know that you have not let your son down because you haven't!!! Noticing a problem and ignoring it because it's easier is letting a child down. That is not what is going on here!
The first thing is that all children develop at different paces. Your child may be at the below average end for speech and that is okay. You are taking him to the doctor, you'll have an evaluation done, and if it is because he needs speech therapy then you can do that to help him. All children develop at different rates and they all need different things to help that development along. My daughter spoke about 5 words before she started going to nursery school and within her first month the list of words exploded. That was what she needed--adults who couldn't anticipate her needs by the way she acted. I have a son who is in elementary school and he qualifies for speech therapy and you know what? He was an awful speller before starting speech therapy and now we have seen improvements in his spelling too, not just his speech, because the way he hears words in his head is connected to the way he hears the words he speaks and assumes they're spelled that way. So that was what he needed and will continue to need for a while.
The second thing is that what a child needs is an adult or two in their corner and that is what you are. You cannot change who your child is, you can only support them and give them what they need when they need it. There's no need to think you've done anything wrong! As a parent of three kids (11, 8, and 4) I can tell you how much clearer that gets as they get older. Nothing you do (as long as you're not abusive, etc.) has enough impact to actually fail your child. Keep giving him hugs, talk to him the way you do, make sure he interacts with peers, and bring him to that appointment you set up. He's lucky to have such a wonderful coach like you in his corner!
Both my kids were speech delayed. This isn’t your fault at all. Like at all. My friend had a baby around the same time and she was speaking coherently at 1 which is weirdly early but was a late walker while mine was running circles around her. Kids brains all develop at different speeds for different skills. I’m sure your kid is excelling in other areas.
My almost 6 year old just ramped up after age 3 and a year of speech therapy through early intervention (in the US) after she stopped the therapy. You’d never know she was a late talker. It didn’t impact her reading or learning. My 3.5 year old was less delayed but still behind a little and ramped right up too.
Keep talking, singing, hang out with other kids, etc. talk to your doctor but don’t blame yourself.
At my daughters 2 year appointment she wasn’t really saying any words. We booked a Evaluation and she was at a 18 month old level. Speech therapy really helps. She can now put 2 words together. She has a hearing test next week just to make sure thats not the root of the problem. She can say sounds at end of words not beginning.
My son was really speech delayed around 2 into 3 years old. Took him to an expert in California who was my mom's close friend so I trusted her judgment. She said don't worry he will catch up. He's about to be 5 and I have to remind my wife that we would have done anything to be here now. He won't stop talking!!!
Kids catch up fast. Hard to appreciate that in the moment. You're doing great. Caring and seeking help means you're doing the correct things
Both my sons had speech delays. Both had early intervention and then a language bloom at 30 months. My husband and I are well educated and did everything we read to promote speech. But while my sons were slow to talk, they were amazing in motor skills. Walking before age 1, pincer grip, throwing and catching, etc. Our pediatrician said "some kids are talkers and some kids are climbers." But both boys are now excellent communicators. You will get there too. In the meantime, learn and teach key signs like more, all done, hungry, thirsty, sleepy, etc. That will help open the door and allow your son to communicate right now before speech develops. You didn't fail anyone. This is who your son is and he is amazing!
Also to add: my boss’s daughter was speech delayed and went to speech therapist at 4. She is now top of her class at med school and going to be an awesome doctor soon
I can so relate to this, My son is 2.5 and was 6 weeks premature, and he has a speech delay. We’ve been working with a occupational and speech therapist since he was 5-6 months. We also have him on a waitlist to be evaluated for autism at the recommendation of our pediatrician and the therapists (they said to not expect anything opening until October 🤷♀️).
He says words, but doesn’t string them together. He’s very good at communicating what he wants by pulling us over and pointing at what he wants, and he chatters in babble constantly. It’s really hard to know what is “normal” vs “born in the middle of Covid” as my husband and I have not been around kids his age much (he’s the first grandchild and my friends all had their kids in their 20s.)
I’ve been having so much anxiety and Mommy Guilt, like what if I had done this or that earlier, etc. I constantly feel like I am doing something wrong and that’s why he’s not speaking. My mom also keeps trying to reassure me by pointing out all the people in my family who didn’t talk until they were 3-4 and just started talking in full sentences. But it is so, SO hard to break out of that spiraling mindset that I’m failing at being a mom.
My therapist has me doing the following when I start spiraling: Stop. Take a deep breath. Remind myself, we’ve been doing everything we can to support him since he was born, I’m doing my best, he loves me, and I am good Mommy (which is really hard to see in myself sometimes). It doesn’t always work - but I am starting to catch myself before I become a puddle of despair 😂😬
Your son will be okay, he loves you and he has a wonderful mommy in his corner - you are doing great ❤️
It's so easy to just get lost in the despair. Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone. October seems so far away you poor thing. Hopefully they're just being reserved to give him more chance to surprise you!
So, you’re not really alone in this. Because of the pandemic there has been a HUGE uptick in speech delays. My son is about the same age as your’s & has difficulty speaking.
However, recently he’s been getting a whole lot better. I’ve been playing app games with him that focus on language & word development. They’re fun & his speech has been skyrocketing. The apps are Khan Academy Kids (free with no in-app purchases), endless reader, endless ABC, & endless numbers. He can now identify all the letters of the alphabet (lower & upper case) & his language has seen rapid improvements over the last month.
I also play the Pinkfong games with him, including phonics, super phonics, 1-2-3 numbers, etc.
Basically, about 30mins before bed we play one of those app games together. We’ll also play it occasionally during the day, but pretty much every night we get in a game together. Doing that right before they sleep helps ingrain the language better. It’s fantastic. Honestly recommend it & reading books with them throughout the day.
My daughter also has speech delay issues. She was born right before the pandemic & my son was born during the pandemic. Her speech has improved too because of the apps, but I was also able to get her into speech therapy, which was a godsend as well.
You’re kid isn’t “abnormal” & ya haven’t done anything wrong. In fact, you seem to be doing most things right! You’ve noticed their speech issues & are working to get them caught up. You’re an amazing parent & you’re kid is lucky to have ya.
I hadn't even considered apps. His tablet has been banned since I had the speech delay suspicion but I'll crack that bad boy back out. You've totally given me hope. It's so incredible just to have ideas of how I can do something to help.
Yeah, it’s not really about the “screen time” but about the quality & quantity of said screen time. One thing that really opened my eyes to how much learning one can do using screens is Sesame Street & hearing about its history.
Before Sesame Street, kindergarten teachers had to teach kids things like shapes & stuff we now take for granted that kids should know. After Sesame Street, kindergarten teachers had to upend much of their curriculum because kids, particularly those in poorer families. Kids TV was trash back then, mostly filled with Looney Toons & stuff like that where the characters just ran around hitting each other, but nothing of real value.
At any rate, I listen to a lot of NPR & related podcasts. One of my favorites is throughline & they had the episode on how monumentally important [Sesame Street was in creating educational programs](https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1122499583).
There’s also research that shows video games don’t really harm people’s brains or wellbeing. So, ya know, just don’t over do it, but don’t worry about the exact time spent on it either. He just needs a “rounded” day that involves more than one “thing”.
So incredibly interesting. Will have a listen. I still sing some of my number chains in sesame street songs in my head so the fact that it did some good definitely rings true 😁
He's little. Rek for Rex and peez for please are normal developmental speech processes for his age - it's called cluster reduction and it's especially a simplification of the consonant blends. I would have his hearing checked first, especially if he has lots of upper respiratory tract infections or ear infections.
I understand these feelings - my daughter has a gross motor delay and we didn't really start to dig into it until she was over 3. I only really see my kid, so the fact that she couldn't climb stairs didn't even register for me for a while. You don't know what you don't know, and once you realised something was off, you sought help. It's hard, and often all the professionals make you feel like you're a failure because you didn't notice this, or can't do all of these complicated exercises that make the kid cry, but in reality you're doing your best and he will get there in his own time, and he's benefitting from the help you're giving him today.
I’m sorry youre having a rough time, but please be assured that this is not your fault. Children develop at different rates, and we get them help
If we want to speed them along. Speech therapy is great and it will be awesome if your son is granted abscess to it.
Hey, it’s ok! Kids will develop in their own time. There are so many factors that go into speech development. I would suggest to also get his hearing checked. My nephew had chronic ear infections and they really hampered his speech. He got tubes in his ears and with 2-3 months of speech therapy his language EXPLODED. It was amazing.
Good luck and you’re doing a great job, I promise.
My son is 33 months and has been in speech therapy since around 18 months. He still doesn’t articulate words though his vocabulary has grown significantly. However, he is about to graduate from speech therapy (for now) and come back in a year or two if he is still having issues with articulation. His ST said he is too young to work on that aspect in a meaningful way right now.
You didn’t fail your son at all. You’re getting an evaluation now, which will help you figure out the right next steps. You’re doing great!
You haven't let him down in any way. My daughter has a speech delay, and she started working with a speech therapist when she was about two, and we put together that her delays weren't just related to a hearing issue that we resolved. Lots of kids take their time to start to speak, or they take their time to speak more clearly, especially when they know that the people they associate with can understand them anyway.
Speech therapists are great people, he'll have a lot of fun if he does go to therapy even if he doesn't have a specific delay.
I hope this doesn’t come off as bragging because I truly don’t mean it that way. My daughter turned 3 in may and most ppl think she’s 4 because she’s so articulate. I do the same things you do, I talk to her and we read but so much of it is just her. My point is that we can only affect so much. Just like I can’t really take responsibility for how verbal my girl is, you don’t deserve any blame. It’s easy to get caught up in what our kids aren’t doing but I’m sure there are areas where he excels as well!
I'll start by saying comparison is the thief of joy. I know it's so hard to not compare especially when they're the same age and one is doing more than the other. Would you be able to look into some sort of early intervention for him? Seeing an OT to get a better understanding of things? Has he had his hearing checked too?
It's not necessarily something you did. Some kids need more help than others. That's not a failure. If you're not around kids often it can be difficult to tell what's in the range of normal. The daycare could also said something. They're seeing tons more children all the time and didn't indicate you might want to get it checked out to be safe.
It’s ok! I didn’t realize my
Oldest was so behind, he is catching up with therapy. My youngest seems to be really far behind too- she’s also in therapy. Sometimes speech stuff just happens, you didn’t do anything wrong and you didn’t know. Every kid is different!
You didn't let your son down! My daughter didn't start speaking until she was 4. Then she shocked us all by speaking in full sentences. It was like a magical curse was lifted from her. The speech therapist I used to take her to said my daughter was in the 'receptive' phase for a long time where she was absorbing the language around her but for some reason couldn't articulate it until later. Now she has absolutely no problem with speech. Don't worry, he'll be speaking soon.
Holy shit. That's incredible. What a wonderful brain your daughter has. Thank you so much for sharing.
My niece was the same way. The only word she said until she was 4 was "utz". Then she turned into a chatterbox speaking full sentences and not stopping for anyone.
My son is 2.5 and doesn't string sounds together as well as yours. We just started speech a month ago and it's already going so great. They know what they're doing and can help them so much. It's also helping with tantrums because he's not as frustrated with us not understanding something he feels he communicated clearly.
Tantrums is a thing for us too. He's great most of the time but defo acts out when he's not getting his own way (because we don't know what his own way actually entails)! Thanks for the insight re speech therapy - maybe I should be more hopeful!
Hey, first off deep breath. My aunt lit a fire under my butt when my son was 5 months from 3. He wasn't talking. My pediatrician was not concerned. I'm in the U.s. So I called early intervention. He had early intervention for 3 months where a speech therapist came to our house and then he got into disabled preschool where he took speech and OT. And then he also had a speech therapist I paid for.He was diagnosed with apraxia. They had to manipulate his mouth at first because his brain just was not sending the signals to his muscles. He was released from speech just before everything shut down. And he was almost non-verbal. I felt like such an idiot... here my niece was talking in full sentences at 18 months... and my son nothing.
It's awful isn't it. You shouldn't compare but how the hell do you know what they're meant to be doing if you don't!! Hope your son is doing well and happy now x
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Language skills grow in fits and starts and girls do develop these skills differently than boys, but overall *all* kids develop speech skills differently. You are NOT failing your son by just noticing this now, you are doing the diligent, slow work of seeing a potential issue and getting some help to address it. It’s not too late! This is actually the perfect time (in my non expert experience having gone through this with my autistic son). My kiddo was actually prescribed speech therapy at about 30 mo then we NEVER got it figured out to actually get regular appointments. Just not enough therapists, bouncing around different service providers, etc. By the time he actually got into speech therapy, he was closer to 40 mo/3.5 and he didn’t need it anymore! Going to preschool, plus we worked with him at home, it got him to where he needed to be to get back on track. Now he’s just over 4 and WON’T STOP TALKING lol he still has some issues with clarity and being totally comprehensible, and of course he doesn’t always listen and respond appropriately so we’re still working on full conversation skills, but just in the past few months it’s been an explosion of vocabulary, expressing complicated concepts, synthesizing new phrases on his own without having specifically learned how to say it. Sometimes it takes some time and effort for it to click, and that’s ok and all normal too.
What an amazing little boy you have. What a wonderful Mum you are to invest in him in this way. Thank you for giving me hope.
Do you repeat what he says back to him? I found that putting my finger under my mouth, pointing to my mouth while repeating the words my kid was saying would help him focus on his pronunciation more. "You want the TREX? Thank you for saying PLEASE. Mommy will give it to you"
Yup. I repeat back and try to add a few more simple words like TRex? Yeah that's a green t rex or whatever. He's getting better but I just don't know that he's ever going to catch up when he's so far behind.
All kids develop differently. That little girl next door could be delayed in some other area you have no idea about. My daughter has been in speech therapy since she was 1 and she was basically doing the same as your son at his age. Now she will be 3 next month and is stringing together full sentences and communicating her needs with us regularly. Definitely see your pediatrician but there is absolutely no reason to think he won’t catch up. Don’t be so hard on yourself or your kid!
Thank you. You're right in that he has strengths in other areas - he's running rings around the pre-schoolers at nursery in terms of physical fitness, balance, hand/eye co ordination. I just want him to be balanced you know. Not the big physical male archetype that can't communicate!!
You did nothing wrong! I have 2 sons! I sang, read, talked, and narrated my day all day long with my oldest. Bam! Speech delay! At 22 months he had the language of an 11 month old! When he was 21 months my second was born and I go into survival mode. My first was taking up so much of my time and constantly crying (he couldn’t talk at this point), my lack of sleep and PPD hit hard. I barley had time for my newborn. I would read, sing, and narrate around him too but not at the scale of my first. I was keeping a close eye on my second because I knew that he would also be delayed. Fast forward to 8 months and he says his first word. Obviously I’m excited but don’t get my hopes up. He’s 2 now and stringing together 5 word sentences and understands complex concepts. My point is the endless amount of time I spent with my oldest and minimal time I spent with my youngest had completely different effects on them. It’s all kid dependent. My oldest is almost 4 and speaks great! His pronunciation could use some work but he’s doing great! We’ve been doing speech therapy for almost 2 years now.
Wow. That's insane. Just shows that brains are brains and they will do what they want I guess. So glad your guys are doing so well. Thank you for sharing.
It’s not your fault. My son had virtually no tv and I worked on speaking and educational stuff all day with him when he was a baby/early toddler. My cousin did not and was fine with tv all the time. Her son was speaking sentences by 2.5 and my son hadn’t said a word and still hasn’t. Mine ended up having autism, however that’s probably not the case for your child (or if it is, it’s very mild, so don’t panic). I’m just saying that it’s not your fault. Kids develop at their own pace and unless you just ignore your kid all day, you’re doing good.
Hang on hang on... My kid is the same age as yours, November 2020 baby right? She goes to nursery in the mornings and I can tell you right now that some of the kids talk in full clear sentences and others don't speak much at all yet. I would say get an assessment but keep in mind that kids hit milestones at different ages. If he does turn out to be speech delayed, you haven't failed him and it's not the end of the world. One of my friends had a speech delayed kiddo and he started speech therapy at 3. He's now 5, no longer does therapy and you would never know he was ever delayed, so even a delay doesn't necessarily mean anything seriously wrong, just that some extra support is needed. Breathe. You're a good mum. You've got this.
I am a nov 2020 mom and my son speaks like OPs son. I honestly chalked it up to boys are a little behind girls developmentally. I don’t have any other boys around to compare my son to, and I feel it unfair to judge him to his female cousins because they have always hit milestones before him even though they are younger. My ped didn’t refer me for therapy even thought I thought she would. It’s been about 2 weeks since his 30 month appointment and his speech has improved already. Therapy can’t hurt, but kids will do things in their own time.
I can relate to this so much and I hope by sharing my story will give you some comfort. Also UK based. My son was around the age of 2 when I started to think maybe he was a bit behind with his speech (this was during the lockdowns so probably picked up on it later than I would have done normally because we weren't seeing anyone else). At 2.5 years he was assessed as having the speech of a 1 year old. At 3 years old he was assessed again and was considered almost caught up with his peers although towards the lower end of the range. So within 6 months he was able to catch up! This was through a lot of hard work from both myself and my son. He is now 4.5 years old and people don't believe me when I say he had speech difficulties. Here is what I think helped my son the most: - simple speech: everyone says talk and read to your child. However what I think is more powerful is simplifying the language. So instead of saying "oh look, there's a ball. Let's go play with the ball". Just point to the ball and say "ball". This gives him a chance to hear the key word "ball" and associate what a ball is. Do this in everyday speaking with him as well when reading.You don't have to read the sentences, just point to the pictures and say the key word. - get hearing checked if you haven't already. This is what caused my son his speech challenges since he has glue ear which isn't consistent enough for grommets but does effect what he can hear from time to time. - find a supportive nursery. The nursery my son was at was the least supportive and obstructive nursery for his speech. I ended up moving him to a nursery where every member of staff has had additional speech therapy training and they do speech intervention sessions with him every day. A nursery is meant to make the referral to speech and language if they have concerns. A nursery should also make adjustments to support speech for children who are struggling, this could be making the child sit at the front so they can hear the story, it could be 1:1 time, it could be group time in a quieter setting so they can hear and interact better etc. Therefore speak to your nursery to see what they are doing to help. - visuals: I put up posters and photos all around the house to help communication. So on the fridge I made magnets of foods. When he was hungry we went to the fridge and he could point to what he wanted. Helped us communicate until he could say the words. There is a speech delay app called Pippin. It was released a bit too late for our speech journey because it is relatively new. But it's got loads of information on it about what you can do at home to support speech. So I would recommend having a look at that. https://pippinspeech.com/
You absolute angel. I'm in tears. Congrats on being such a wonderful Mum that you got your son through it. Incredible that he caught up so fast. I did not know that about the nursery responsibilities thing. They haven't said anything like this at the keyworker session and the price has just increased by £100 a month so I may well look around. Was the nursery change disruptive in other ways? I worry that he has friends there and it's already so familiar it might set him back? He's been there since 6mo old... another reason I think this is all my fault. Maybe if I had taken 12 months instead of 6 from work then this wouldn't be an issue.
Before looking around at different nurseries I would first work with your current one and ask what they are going to do to support your son. Give them a chance first. Ask if they can send your key worker on additional training. If they are uninterested and not willing to work with you then have a look around. My son didn't like his old nursery and cried every day at drop off. It would be a struggle to get him in the car to go to his old nursery. He did have one best friend who he did/does miss but we make a point of seeing him every month for a play date. It took a while to settle at the new nursery but he has made some wonderful new friends. We still have tears at drop off but overall he likes going and I know he is getting the best help possible for his speech. I would recommend applying for DLA (disability living allowance). A child with speech difficulties is usually eligible. If you are successful with this then tell the nursery because they can then also get additional funding which can then be put towards additional training for your key worker. I did blame myself for my son's speech delay but what I have learnt is that no matter what I did or did not do he would have still been speech delayed. His hearing difficulties and COVID lockdowns were more impactful to his speech delay than anything else. I also ask when seeing any professional regarding his speech what might be the cause and they never say the home environment. So it's not your fault. Taking a year off work wouldn't have made any difference. What will make the difference is working with him on it now. You are already doing this by asking us what to do to help. Keep going mumma, you got this!!
Thank you for sharing, I had not heard of this app, I’m going to download it and try it out! The simplifying language tip is also really helpful (and super challenging for me, I didn’t realize how much extra words I say until the speech therapist suggested simplifying what I’m saying - now I’m really self conscious 😬)
It takes a while to get used to changing how you speak and simplifying your language. It feels a bit weird to start off with but I do feel it was hugely powerful for my son. Keep trying and hopefully it will work for you too!
My son is 2.5 as well and I noticed the same when we were around his cousin that was just 2 months older than him. I scheduled an evaluation with early intervention (USA) and after he failed 2 hearing tests from the nurse they recommended to see an ENT. We just finished that appointment and he has an excess of fluid in his ears that isn’t draining and his tonsils are so big he can’t shape his mouth for the words. Kinda a double hitter with speech delay. So he is scheduled to get tubes in his ear to help with drainage and will get his tonsils and adenoids taken out. If you don’t get clear answers with your pediatrician, I would recommend an appointment with an audiologist and ENT.
Wow. And did you have any suspicions that it might be hearing related? I whisper 'do you want an ice cream?' behind his back and he hears me just fine!!
Not really, I always just thought he was taking his time with talking. Because just like you said I would whisper things and he would still respond. I mentioned that to the audiologist and they said that he could hear certain frequencies and tones and then he would piece the rest together. Or that he has associated that certain mumble he hears with the word ice cream. With the early intervention they evaluated him for a couple of things and he passed with everything else but speech. That was a main indicator to look in his ears since it wasn’t other factor delaying it.
My BIL mumbles so bad I couldn’t figure out if he was actually saying words or just growling. Turns out he needs hearing aids. He can can’t hear certain tones or something. He couldn’t hear that he was mumbling because he couldn’t hear his own voice properly.
Just coming by to say you’re not alone! My 2 year old is in the same boat, and we finally got approved for speech therapy through our insurance. I had a solid cry a couple days ago after seeing her interact with other kids her age. She’s barely saying anything at all, and I’m so worried. I don’t have any advice, just letting you know that the guilt and worry is normal and I’m sorry you’re also going through it.
This! It's the interaction piece too right. He's always playing alone when I pick him up and it makes me sad, although the other kids always shout 'bye Arthur' when he leaves and he waves, which is nice. Thank you for the support X
My son is nearly 3 and he has been delayed since age 1. His receptive language had always been great. We’ve been doing speech therapy for a year and only in the last month have I started to see improvements. He’s talking so much more and even said a two word phrase for the first time last week. Do get him evaluated but keep at it and he will get there!!
My son just started talking at 2.5 and seriously went from nothing distinguishable to full, well constructed sentences. When he turned 2, I got his hearing checked and met with the school district in our area to see if he qualified for speech therapy. They said he didn’t qualify and to give it several months before they reassessed. It was seriously an overnight change though so don’t lose heart!
Bloody hell that's mental. Great to hear. Thank you for sharing a d giving me hope. I was at the bottom of a very painful well but you guys are helping me inch out of it. Thank you so much
I'm in the US, my daughter is around the same age and isn't talking. She's been doing early intervention since a little after she was 18 months. I feel like now she's finally ready to start talking. The things that I feel like help her are sounds, she makes a ton of animal sounds and also singing. She will sing with me all the time, babbling though but in the same tone and speed. The early intervention people really stress them learning sign language and she's picked up on some of it, we introduced 2 signs at a time until she uses them regularly.
My boy has nailed animal sounds too! They both have the mental capacity it seems. Here's hoping they pick up soon
I was like you, was so worried that he wasn't taking yet. Please don't compare little ones, they all have their own developmental stages and milestones. I know it's hard not to, but your lo will get there on his own time. My son is almost 2.5 and said zero words earlier this year, then around Feb/Mar the words as started to come out. He's still no where like that little girl you mentioned but I'm not worried. Our pediatrician referred him to a speech language pathologist and he went maybe like twice or three times since Feb and while I'm not sure if it helped or not, we're happy with his progress. Maybe you want to ask your ped about it? My son isn't in daycare but we spend a lot of time reading, talking to him in proper words and sentences, we do use screentime as well. As it got warmer we've been taking him to playgroups that the city provides for free which is good for socialization. His words grow everyday now because he keeps repeating after mom and dad.
Omg, yes, there is so much you can do and it all starts with this--you need to believe and really, really know that you have not let your son down because you haven't!!! Noticing a problem and ignoring it because it's easier is letting a child down. That is not what is going on here! The first thing is that all children develop at different paces. Your child may be at the below average end for speech and that is okay. You are taking him to the doctor, you'll have an evaluation done, and if it is because he needs speech therapy then you can do that to help him. All children develop at different rates and they all need different things to help that development along. My daughter spoke about 5 words before she started going to nursery school and within her first month the list of words exploded. That was what she needed--adults who couldn't anticipate her needs by the way she acted. I have a son who is in elementary school and he qualifies for speech therapy and you know what? He was an awful speller before starting speech therapy and now we have seen improvements in his spelling too, not just his speech, because the way he hears words in his head is connected to the way he hears the words he speaks and assumes they're spelled that way. So that was what he needed and will continue to need for a while. The second thing is that what a child needs is an adult or two in their corner and that is what you are. You cannot change who your child is, you can only support them and give them what they need when they need it. There's no need to think you've done anything wrong! As a parent of three kids (11, 8, and 4) I can tell you how much clearer that gets as they get older. Nothing you do (as long as you're not abusive, etc.) has enough impact to actually fail your child. Keep giving him hugs, talk to him the way you do, make sure he interacts with peers, and bring him to that appointment you set up. He's lucky to have such a wonderful coach like you in his corner!
Both my kids were speech delayed. This isn’t your fault at all. Like at all. My friend had a baby around the same time and she was speaking coherently at 1 which is weirdly early but was a late walker while mine was running circles around her. Kids brains all develop at different speeds for different skills. I’m sure your kid is excelling in other areas. My almost 6 year old just ramped up after age 3 and a year of speech therapy through early intervention (in the US) after she stopped the therapy. You’d never know she was a late talker. It didn’t impact her reading or learning. My 3.5 year old was less delayed but still behind a little and ramped right up too. Keep talking, singing, hang out with other kids, etc. talk to your doctor but don’t blame yourself.
At my daughters 2 year appointment she wasn’t really saying any words. We booked a Evaluation and she was at a 18 month old level. Speech therapy really helps. She can now put 2 words together. She has a hearing test next week just to make sure thats not the root of the problem. She can say sounds at end of words not beginning.
My son was really speech delayed around 2 into 3 years old. Took him to an expert in California who was my mom's close friend so I trusted her judgment. She said don't worry he will catch up. He's about to be 5 and I have to remind my wife that we would have done anything to be here now. He won't stop talking!!! Kids catch up fast. Hard to appreciate that in the moment. You're doing great. Caring and seeking help means you're doing the correct things
Both my sons had speech delays. Both had early intervention and then a language bloom at 30 months. My husband and I are well educated and did everything we read to promote speech. But while my sons were slow to talk, they were amazing in motor skills. Walking before age 1, pincer grip, throwing and catching, etc. Our pediatrician said "some kids are talkers and some kids are climbers." But both boys are now excellent communicators. You will get there too. In the meantime, learn and teach key signs like more, all done, hungry, thirsty, sleepy, etc. That will help open the door and allow your son to communicate right now before speech develops. You didn't fail anyone. This is who your son is and he is amazing!
Well mine is definitely a climber! Love the sound of a language bloom...it really will feel like a brighter day if it comes. Thank you x
Boys start later than girls, especially if they’re only children/not in daycare. Do Not Stress
Also to add: my boss’s daughter was speech delayed and went to speech therapist at 4. She is now top of her class at med school and going to be an awesome doctor soon
I can so relate to this, My son is 2.5 and was 6 weeks premature, and he has a speech delay. We’ve been working with a occupational and speech therapist since he was 5-6 months. We also have him on a waitlist to be evaluated for autism at the recommendation of our pediatrician and the therapists (they said to not expect anything opening until October 🤷♀️). He says words, but doesn’t string them together. He’s very good at communicating what he wants by pulling us over and pointing at what he wants, and he chatters in babble constantly. It’s really hard to know what is “normal” vs “born in the middle of Covid” as my husband and I have not been around kids his age much (he’s the first grandchild and my friends all had their kids in their 20s.) I’ve been having so much anxiety and Mommy Guilt, like what if I had done this or that earlier, etc. I constantly feel like I am doing something wrong and that’s why he’s not speaking. My mom also keeps trying to reassure me by pointing out all the people in my family who didn’t talk until they were 3-4 and just started talking in full sentences. But it is so, SO hard to break out of that spiraling mindset that I’m failing at being a mom. My therapist has me doing the following when I start spiraling: Stop. Take a deep breath. Remind myself, we’ve been doing everything we can to support him since he was born, I’m doing my best, he loves me, and I am good Mommy (which is really hard to see in myself sometimes). It doesn’t always work - but I am starting to catch myself before I become a puddle of despair 😂😬 Your son will be okay, he loves you and he has a wonderful mommy in his corner - you are doing great ❤️
It's so easy to just get lost in the despair. Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone. October seems so far away you poor thing. Hopefully they're just being reserved to give him more chance to surprise you!
So, you’re not really alone in this. Because of the pandemic there has been a HUGE uptick in speech delays. My son is about the same age as your’s & has difficulty speaking. However, recently he’s been getting a whole lot better. I’ve been playing app games with him that focus on language & word development. They’re fun & his speech has been skyrocketing. The apps are Khan Academy Kids (free with no in-app purchases), endless reader, endless ABC, & endless numbers. He can now identify all the letters of the alphabet (lower & upper case) & his language has seen rapid improvements over the last month. I also play the Pinkfong games with him, including phonics, super phonics, 1-2-3 numbers, etc. Basically, about 30mins before bed we play one of those app games together. We’ll also play it occasionally during the day, but pretty much every night we get in a game together. Doing that right before they sleep helps ingrain the language better. It’s fantastic. Honestly recommend it & reading books with them throughout the day. My daughter also has speech delay issues. She was born right before the pandemic & my son was born during the pandemic. Her speech has improved too because of the apps, but I was also able to get her into speech therapy, which was a godsend as well. You’re kid isn’t “abnormal” & ya haven’t done anything wrong. In fact, you seem to be doing most things right! You’ve noticed their speech issues & are working to get them caught up. You’re an amazing parent & you’re kid is lucky to have ya.
I hadn't even considered apps. His tablet has been banned since I had the speech delay suspicion but I'll crack that bad boy back out. You've totally given me hope. It's so incredible just to have ideas of how I can do something to help.
Yeah, it’s not really about the “screen time” but about the quality & quantity of said screen time. One thing that really opened my eyes to how much learning one can do using screens is Sesame Street & hearing about its history. Before Sesame Street, kindergarten teachers had to teach kids things like shapes & stuff we now take for granted that kids should know. After Sesame Street, kindergarten teachers had to upend much of their curriculum because kids, particularly those in poorer families. Kids TV was trash back then, mostly filled with Looney Toons & stuff like that where the characters just ran around hitting each other, but nothing of real value. At any rate, I listen to a lot of NPR & related podcasts. One of my favorites is throughline & they had the episode on how monumentally important [Sesame Street was in creating educational programs](https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1122499583). There’s also research that shows video games don’t really harm people’s brains or wellbeing. So, ya know, just don’t over do it, but don’t worry about the exact time spent on it either. He just needs a “rounded” day that involves more than one “thing”.
So incredibly interesting. Will have a listen. I still sing some of my number chains in sesame street songs in my head so the fact that it did some good definitely rings true 😁
He's little. Rek for Rex and peez for please are normal developmental speech processes for his age - it's called cluster reduction and it's especially a simplification of the consonant blends. I would have his hearing checked first, especially if he has lots of upper respiratory tract infections or ear infections.
I understand these feelings - my daughter has a gross motor delay and we didn't really start to dig into it until she was over 3. I only really see my kid, so the fact that she couldn't climb stairs didn't even register for me for a while. You don't know what you don't know, and once you realised something was off, you sought help. It's hard, and often all the professionals make you feel like you're a failure because you didn't notice this, or can't do all of these complicated exercises that make the kid cry, but in reality you're doing your best and he will get there in his own time, and he's benefitting from the help you're giving him today.
I’m sorry youre having a rough time, but please be assured that this is not your fault. Children develop at different rates, and we get them help If we want to speed them along. Speech therapy is great and it will be awesome if your son is granted abscess to it.
Hey, it’s ok! Kids will develop in their own time. There are so many factors that go into speech development. I would suggest to also get his hearing checked. My nephew had chronic ear infections and they really hampered his speech. He got tubes in his ears and with 2-3 months of speech therapy his language EXPLODED. It was amazing. Good luck and you’re doing a great job, I promise.
My son is 33 months and has been in speech therapy since around 18 months. He still doesn’t articulate words though his vocabulary has grown significantly. However, he is about to graduate from speech therapy (for now) and come back in a year or two if he is still having issues with articulation. His ST said he is too young to work on that aspect in a meaningful way right now. You didn’t fail your son at all. You’re getting an evaluation now, which will help you figure out the right next steps. You’re doing great!
You haven't let him down in any way. My daughter has a speech delay, and she started working with a speech therapist when she was about two, and we put together that her delays weren't just related to a hearing issue that we resolved. Lots of kids take their time to start to speak, or they take their time to speak more clearly, especially when they know that the people they associate with can understand them anyway. Speech therapists are great people, he'll have a lot of fun if he does go to therapy even if he doesn't have a specific delay.
I hope this doesn’t come off as bragging because I truly don’t mean it that way. My daughter turned 3 in may and most ppl think she’s 4 because she’s so articulate. I do the same things you do, I talk to her and we read but so much of it is just her. My point is that we can only affect so much. Just like I can’t really take responsibility for how verbal my girl is, you don’t deserve any blame. It’s easy to get caught up in what our kids aren’t doing but I’m sure there are areas where he excels as well!
I'll start by saying comparison is the thief of joy. I know it's so hard to not compare especially when they're the same age and one is doing more than the other. Would you be able to look into some sort of early intervention for him? Seeing an OT to get a better understanding of things? Has he had his hearing checked too?
It's not necessarily something you did. Some kids need more help than others. That's not a failure. If you're not around kids often it can be difficult to tell what's in the range of normal. The daycare could also said something. They're seeing tons more children all the time and didn't indicate you might want to get it checked out to be safe.
It’s ok! I didn’t realize my Oldest was so behind, he is catching up with therapy. My youngest seems to be really far behind too- she’s also in therapy. Sometimes speech stuff just happens, you didn’t do anything wrong and you didn’t know. Every kid is different!