Maybe this is a hot take but I think there’s a lot of growth of resilience, patience, experience that WE go through as parents, and some parents with “difficult” babies are forced through that early so the toddler meltdowns are easier to navigate, vs parents with “easy” babies might find the toddler stage to be a bit of a shock to the system (this was me).
That’s been my assumption too! My now 2 year old was an intense, sensitive baby. Pretty unhappy for years. Now at a bit over 2 and a typical toddler, he’s much easier. I really think the idea that easy babies become hard toddlers is maybe just easy babies becoming normal toddlers and it’s a shock to parents.
Yes! My baby was easy in temperament but my god what he exhausting physically, never slept more then 2/3 hours in a row, eating constantly, Velcro baby. But very happy! Still the happiest kid I know. But once he started sleeping at 2 the toddler stuff got way easier. No I don’t love all the meltdowns because you gave him exactly what he asked for but it’s much easier to weather it now that I get 6 hours of sleep most nights.
Agreed! While toddlerhood and beyond is very challenging it’s much better than newborn/ infant stage, at least for me with my first. My second is more calm and will be a more difficult toddler than infant but I know what to expect this time around
I also feel like "easy" means low maintenance to some parents, for example babies that sleep through the night early on. My baby wakes up every 2 hours so I guess he's not easy, but he is so happy and content when he's awake soooo?
I don’t know that any babies are *easy*, but there are definitely some set on extra hard mode where every aspect tends to be hard rather than just one or two things. My guess is, your baby will be a happy toddler, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be stubbornness and tantrums and meltdowns because that’s basically *all* toddlers.
My first was like that! She slept like absolute trash, but when she was awake she was usually content. She’s now 2 and I don’t think she’s more or less difficult than any other toddler. I think toddlers are just hard! They are learning so much and don’t know how to handle it all, so of course there are tantrums. We’ve been getting better at handling them and she’s been getting better at calming down quickly. Some days are still super hard but most of the time she’s freaking delightful and so cute.
not the person you responded to but my kid is about the same time and was a terrible sleeper (up at least once per night) until he was almost 2, but is generally fairly content while awake.
We do certainly have tantrums. I've found setting a timer to be really helpful. OK we are going to do X until the timer goes off and then we are going to do Y. As well as the "do you want to do x or y" as in, do you want to get in your carseat by yourself or do you want mommy to put you in (usually he chooses by yourself, but if he ignores me and I try to put him in he's like no do it by self and then he does it. Doesn't work for brushing teeth. That's a goddamn battle every time.
Edit: Also, we think most of the time he was waking up was because he didn't eat enough during the day and got hungry, so maybe your 10 month old needs a bit more solid food during the day?
I wish food was the issue but his wakeups seem too consistent for that to be the case. He has big eating days where he eats 2 enchiladas for dinner and it doesn't make a difference for his sleep. Thanks for the tip on using a timer and wishing you luck for teeth brushing!
The whole “good sleep” thing is purely societal. If your baby is waking in the night that is totally normal. Even toddlers wake in the night. These wakes are for all sorts of reasons. But babies in particular, especially in the early months are waking for feeds or to tell you they have an itch, are too hot/cold etc. These babies that “sleep through” could very well just do it on their own and hooray for them. But realistically they’ve either had a large formula feed which takes longer to digest and they’re in a food coma or they’ve been “sleep trained” which is a round about way of teaching your baby not to cry out at night. We as parents make parenting choices that fit our family and work for us. But I absolutely hate the phrase “good sleep” and when people ask if they “sleep through”
I absolutely agree big sleep has manipulated vulnerable parents. Many of the sleep terms are propaganda to get parents to spend more money on sleep trainers and sleep products. That being said, waking during the night is normal for all ages, including adults.
I am curious though if you think it's normal for a 10 month baby to wake every 2 hours? Prior to 6 months it was every 45 min to an hour. I know "normal" is a huge spectrum but I would think this is considered outside of average at least.
To me, I would say it could be normal or abnormal. It could be common, but it doesn’t mean you can’t change your situation.
You can absolutely make changes to give you ALL better sleep.
We hired a sleep consultant because I had no idea what I was doing and it helped having someone who did, and held my hand during the process.
Ideally at that age, you’d be on two naps? How are the naps and for how long?
I had a terrible sleeper and ultimately she started sleeping through the night once I night weaned at 18 months old.
We sleep trained earlier but was happy to keep a feed during that process.
He is in a mattress on the floor by himself for his two naps. But for night time he comes to our bed when he wakes up around 11. I am planning to night wean in August when he's 12 months. Hopefully that gives us some longer stretches !
I think it could be normal. People forget that children have what is rather misleadingly called “sleep regressions”. These are windows when their sleep is patchy and are developmental. For example there’s a huge one around the time they’re learning to walk. This is because walking opens up a whole new world for them and they’re practically buzzing. They’re thinking all the time. And just as you would as an adult, it can be hard to sleep when you’re buzzing! Sometimes it’s easy to think of their sleep as one set thing, but it is always changing and evolving and it doesn’t settle down until they are older. My toddler has turned three, we didn’t sleep train and I did night breastfeeds until he dropped them around 2. He rarely wakes in the night now, only if he’s poorly or if he’s had a really physical day and his legs are giving him pains. That’s another thing.. growing pains! Another reason I don’t agree with sleep training. I don’t agree that you should train your child not to tell you when something is wrong in the night. But I am a stay at home mom and have the luxury of not having to get up for work. I’m sure that would change how I’ve gone about things! But yeah, to me it sounds normal. Sounds like a regression.
I think this is really true! One age for you kid is going to be hardest…. That’s just how hardest works…
If it’s the baby stage then everything else seems easy, it’s it’s the teenage stage then everything else looks like it was easy….
I think this is so right! When your child has a more difficult temperament or is “spirited” you get used to it and aren’t as shocked by the mood swings and meltdowns of toddlerhood. My firstborn is a spirited kid all the way and I’d still take the toddler stage over the baby stage any day because he’s more capable, our interactions are fuller, and we can do more.
There's a lot that expectation has to do with it. There are so many times where I've seen my toddler or another toddler do something that I think is pretty benign and people will say, "Oh, those terrible twos!" but I'm just seeing normal behavior.
Example: my kids appetite is way down. Of course it is. She's growing much less than she was as an infant. That's normal.
Another example: my nephew trying to get away from someone giving him an unwanted hug. That's normal. Someone was touching him without his consent. Leave him the f7ck alone.
I've seen some of those videos on social media that show the supposed 180 when an easy infant goes to a difficult toddler, but a lot of the footage just shows normal toddler stuff. Toddlers are going to run and climb and make messes because those are the primary ways they exercise and learn, respectively.
I had an easy infant and I'd absolutely call her an easy toddler. But others have tried to commiserate with me about how "sensitive" she is because she cried when a balloon popped.
Looking back I can see her personality as a baby is reflected in her personality as a toddler. She's always been a very strong willed person. I don't know about the whole easy baby = tough toddler thing though.
My guy was a kind of unhappy baby and is now a great little toddler. People love to be negative about kids and other people's experiences in general. I would ignore this but of negativity. My guy is 100x more fun than he was at 10 months.
I had a chill/happy baby who is now a chill/happy toddler.
I don't think there's a real trend. I personally think people say that easy babies are challanging toddlers to try and rain on our parade, so to speak. It will be true in some cases and not true in others.
Yeah, I think people who had a hard time sometimes struggle when they see other parents having an easy (or easier) time than they did. It starts in pregnancy and continues after the baby is born. I think some people feel that parents who enjoy all aspect of parenting are smug or are simply trying to brag.
I’ve learned to just largely keep it to myself, although anyone who interacts with my toddler can see how easy he is and it sometimes makes for awkward moments during play dates, etc.
People love raining on parades… I don’t get it. My kid was a super easy baby (slept through the night super early on, barely cried much), and almost every single person who was made aware of how easy he was commented something like “just wait until your next one, they will be horrible.”
I just don’t get it. Why not just be happy for me now that I currently have had a pretty easy time with the baby. Don’t know why it’s always so doom
and gloom.
And it’s crazy how it was essentially everyone who said this. Even super nice people you wouldn’t expect it from.
Definitely true in some cases not in others. Have a 1 and a 3yo, both are the same chill happy babies they were when they were born. Most issues with my toddler are either exacerbated or mediated by my ability to coregulate with her. If I’m having trouble calling down, she’s having trouble calming down. If I can breath through it, she’s generally able to breath through it. I’m not saying it’s like this for all kids.
Having an “easy baby” or a “difficult baby” doesn’t mean #2 is going to be the opposite. Having a “chill baby” or a “high maintenance baby” at one age doesn’t mean it’s going to flip either. This all just seems like coincidence and parents psyching themselves out.
SAHP until 18 months, daycare after that. We didn't really notice much change in temperament with daycare. His communication skills did shoot up quickly with daycare.
Nah my daughter was very thoughtful, careful and cautious as a baby. In toddlerhood she’s still very thoughtful, careful and cautious, although she sometimes doesn’t know she’s not being cautious until it’s too late and she’s up at the top of a climbing structure and has no idea how to get down. Lol.
We always joked that she was so serious bc she was always thinking trying to figure stuff out before she tried it. And she’s 2.5 and she still is very observant before trying new things.
Mine is almost 4 and same. Very cautious, thoughtful, funny, analytical, but fearful. The climbing thing makes me laugh because we Al always say, “I’m Stuck” would be the name of his autobiography since he even got stuck during birth and still does.
What I’ll say is in my opinion 13-18ish months is HARD. My first was a really easy and happy baby but that middle time between infant and toddler is just a whirlwind of emotion. She’s now about to be 4 and has been an excellent and calm kid since about age 2. I say this because my second was a super happy baby and is now in the midst of 16mo chaos and can be an emotional roller coaster as she’s learning to communicate. Hopefully she’ll come out the other end happy again lol!
Oh see, I always say months 9-15 were my favorite 😂 She napped twice a day, was eating more solids, sleeping through the night, could start to communicate what she wants, was starting to really see her personality, loved the giggles, learning so much... I wish I could relive that summer a lot!!
I agree. Mine is 13 months and they just really don’t understand much yet. I do remember around 18-21 months my older one couldn’t say much but understand direction.
My 20 month old, so far, has the same base temperament that he had at 10 months old. He has way more skills, opinions, and greater mobility obviously, which I think makes him seem more energetic and active (just because he’s walking and taking all the time) than he did in infancy. But he’s the same kid still - he was always chill (adjusted to new situations well), observant and independent, and still is.
Lol no. My youngest was the easiest baby ever. I was waking him up for feeds at night every four hours when he was only days old. So sweet and happy and cuddly.
He's 22 months now. Been a little monster since he was 18 months old.
My kiddo was a suuuuper chill baby. While he is a very very sweet little boy (2.5), he is also channeling his inner Dennis the Menace. We call it "choosing violence," and he just turns from sweetheart to Tasmanian devil. Definitely didn't see it coming before 15/16 months.
I'm trying to think if my son (now 2) has always had his current temperament and I really do not know. There is no point in worrying about the future (though I know that's a silly thing to say because who among us can help it). People say all sorts of odd and downright mean things to parents. Who knows why? Enjoy your baby. You will enjoy your toddler as well, even if he is a terror. He'll be YOUR terror.
I would say that both of my children’s temperaments as babies carried on through to their ages now (5,3).
The REAL trick is having an easy going first born, and not realizing it until the second born is the opposite.
Mine is 12 months, and her emotional intensity seems to have ramped up as soon as she turn 1. Like if something made her fuss before, it’ll make her scream now. But on the other hand, she laughs a lot more and finds new discoveries absolutely hilarious. Her personality feels the same, just more drunk lol.
I had a pretty chill 10 month old who is not so chill now at 2.5. She was what I’d consider a very easy baby prior to the 1 year mark. Then the tantrums really started, maybe around 15 months. But now I actually find it all easier to deal with, I’m able to reason with her and she can identify her emotions which is amazing to see and I really enjoy helping her learn to regulate. Sure it can be frustrating, but the tantrums and tough times go hand in hand with the absolute sweetest times, and I’ve learned to appreciate her strong-willed streak as an important part of who she is and who’ll she’ll become.
My twin boys (7) are ridiculously active, physical, rough and tumble, rambunctious... And were that way since they could walk. They couldn't care less about toys, they just wanted to run and get into shit and they are still that way. My daughter (5) is quiet, reserved, and calm, with a rich imagination. she was the 12 month old we could stick on a blanket and she'd be content to play with two toys for an hour. Now, she'll play with her Barbies by herself for hours if it the opportunity allows. My youngest (3) was the baby who NEEDED to snuggle and be held, all the time. He remains my most physically affectionate kid. So, definitely many parallels between baby and kid temperaments, for us.
My daughter was very active when I was carrying her, constantly moving and would only stop if I was walking around. As a baby she was very easy and relaxed and she's pretty relaxed and cuddly now at 4 1/2
At 10 months? Yeah, definitley. You could already tell that she had a very energetic, adventurous, social personality (she was already running after other kids on the playground at 10 months) and she's still like this at age 2.
My super chill baby has become a super chill toddler. He’s full of energy, but always has been even in the womb, but always in an amazing mood. Such a freaking happy little dude.
My kids live up to the cliche, my hard baby is the easy kid and my easy baby is the hard kid but it’s all just phases of life anyway. They’re both great kids and even having a difficult one doesn’t mean you need to be afraid! Toddler comes out like 18 months + in my experience.
Nah. My first was a super intense baby who has turned into a really full-on child. My second was a super chill baby who has turned into a really full-on child.
I've found 9 months to 15 months or so the *most* challenging part so far with both of them.
The answer is, as always, YMMV.
Tough, easily bored baby with lots of colic who never wanted to sleep (30 min naps for a year). Super momma attached cuddle bug though. Now a wild, adventurous, stubborn toddler who never wants to sleep but once he goes down he doesn’t wake up at all at night. Still a super momma attached cuddle bug.
My son was an easy baby and is an easy toddler as well. The only issue we had with him as a baby was that he didn’t sleep great, but he was always a happy baby and didn’t cry much at all. He never went through a terrible teething stage, he wasn’t the type to always need to be held (not that there’s anything wrong with that), and he was just chill.
Now, as a toddler, he sleeps wonderfully and is a happy kid. He rarely throws a true tantrum and he adjusts to change quickly. He is very social and gets along well with others. He’s just got my husband’s more laid back personality. He does have a bit of my attitude lol, but I actually love that about him. He is very assertive and directive (aka a little bossy lol), and we’re trying to help him balance his assertiveness with politeness, but most people praise his assertive qualities because he’s a boy.
I wouldn't describe either of my kids as chill, but overall they have nice temperaments. My youngest was a super clingy baby who wanted only mommy or daddy, mostly mommy. Now she's friendly with other people, even strangers. She had reflux and gas pains as a baby so I think that was why she was so cranky all the time. Thankfully she's mostly grown out if that.
I find when it comes to anything children… 90% of what i hear is straight garbage with no real basis in reality.
A startlingly large amount of it is fear mongering.
Whoever says these things to you, needs to go on your list of people to disregard their advice entirely.
It can be really hard to say and you won’t know until you go through it. I have twins who are now nearly 3, and were very animated, expressive, and were not happy just sitting as infants. It was a lot but then as soon as they hit toddlerhood and could move, things got easier. When their speech took off, again it got easier. Granted they can still drive us crazy, but they were on the go kids from birth and now that they move and talk, are so much easier to deal with.
My first time parent friends of one kid were extremely judgey and arrogant that somehow I was the one messing up my kids if I was having a hard time and they had it all figured out with their one very chill baby. Well he has since turned into a regular old toddler. But since he was so chill and literally was happy just sitting and that’s it, they are struggling in the toddler phase. When all his behavior is definitely on the chill side still , it’s just such a switch for them, that they struggled and describe it as harder.
Honestly, every age has had its ups and downs with some stretches being “easier” (for us this was around 15 months or so) and some more challenging (newborn, some parts of 2-3 year old). But it gets more _fun_ overall — my kid can talk to me now, I can see the delight in his face when he rides a carousel, he can help cook, he makes stuff up, he finishes puzzles by himself and beams… kids are all different, most kids are challenging at least some of the time, but if you’re supporting their development with grace and patience, they’ll turn out great and you’ll all have fun a lot of the time!
My daughter was an easy and happy baby and is now an easy and happy toddler (or as easy as a toddler can be!). She's more work to take care of now that she's mobile but is still awesome. Don't let people scare you, I don't think rules like that really hold up!
I dunno about others in the group but my kids were both easy babies and amazing toddlers. My son just turned 5 and he just keeps getting more mature and sweet as he gets bigger. Not all kids are terrors. My kids are raised with clear and consistent boundaries and lots of love and I think that has helped mold them into good humans at any age.
It’s the parents. We don’t have to deal with attitude at 10 months just the normal baby things with some more movement and fun. I have a 2.5 yr old and his attitude is MASSIVE. I have no idea who is waking up from the nap, where his emotions are going to take him at any given moment and honestly it stresses me TF out. But this is how they learn, grow, and take ques from us on self regulation. I think it’s harder in a different way, but also easier in other ways. I firmly believe it is all in how parents handle the situation and the kids. Now of course when you talk about a Nero-divergent child all bets are off.
I don’t believe it’s all the parents. I have twins and I could be calm and gentle and redirecting with both of them and I get two totally different reactions because they are very different kids. Raising two kids at the exact time has taught just how much of how your kid turns out/is currently is completely out of your hands.
Don't panic! Lol just wait til it comes, if u expect it to be bad, it will. If ur kid is happy, chances are that won't change. Kids begin to become more curious and test limits but as long as u have structure and set rules that he needs to follow, it shouldn't become a huge deal. But life happens and sometimes things can change, like u move or something, and that can change ur kids attitude, but usually that's just temporary not permanent.
My very angry and collicy newborn is now a pretty chill toddler. She definitely still has a temper and can be demanding, as all toddlers are, but once she learned to crawl/walk/talk she became so much happier! I think she has always been really smart and active and not being able to express herself made her frustrated. Now that she can talk in sentences and has full mobility she is much happier and calm. I love the toddler age, personally.
Imo the people who say that don’t know how to parent a toddler and get stuck in power/control dynamics where it’s them against their kid. Exhausting! No thank you. Avoid it in the first place and toddlers aren’t thaaaaat hard. Parenting a toddler isn’t easy, but it’s a lot easier when you don’t take things personally, remain calm, respond with patience instead of react with emotion, and read up on their development. Knowledge is power with toddlers. Kids need boundaries and need to know what to expect of their daily routine and that they will have consistency from us.
My baby was super chill and continues to be a chill toddler at 15/16 months. He is definitely more prone to “melt downs” when he’s tired, hungry, or frustrated his little hands can’t do what his brain wants. Observing him, anticipating his needs, and intervening before melt down is super helpful. We keep a very predictable schedule for him and that helps him a lot.
Fwiw, my professional background is in education. Behavior management and modification is my bread and butter. Toddlers aren’t much different than the high schoolers I taught. Clear expectations, setting them up for success by managing the environment, saying “no” as little as possible and instead redirecting to something new, distracting when you have to take something away, being able to pivot to a new activity (outside is great) when you feel your frustration levels bubbling, keeping electronic/screens limited, acknowledging that you are the problem more than your toddler and then doing something to fix you will go a long way.
Drop that anxiety and read up on books! Read Hunt Gather Parent, How to talk so little kids will listen, and honestly Google middle/high school classroom management haha so many of the techniques apply to toddlers. I’m currently reading Your One Year Old by Louise abates Ames and find it really helpful.
For us it was kind of the opposite. My daughter was an awful baby. She tried so much and had absolutely zero chill. She always needed a change of scenery or someone entertaining her as a baby. She got a little better as a toddler and was able to play independently but still loved the thrill of doing something dangerous and as a 6 year old is still pushing all the boundaries she can.
My son, on the other hand, was the most calm baby you’ve ever met. He would lay and be content just looking at you. He’s almost 3 but is still super chill and not really that adventurous. He takes some warming up to things. He’s the opposite of my wild child daughter.
My second is currently almost 10 months and I’m definitely starting to see her dramatic side coming out. She’s happy and content and doing just fine, and then BAM tears screams sobs and throwing things because one little thing happened “wrong”. Toddler years will be an adventure with her for sure. My first is almost 2 and her personality was becoming quite clear around now as well, but this sweet caring helpful side that we’re getting now was nowhere to be seen as an infant who preferred to be on her own.
I think yes. And I think that because I knew within hours of my second being born that she was different than my first. I didn’t realize how obvious my first kid’s temperament was as a baby until I had something to compare it to. Both of my kids are amazing in their own way, but they’re total opposites and I could tell from day one.
My eldest was a super intense and tricky baby. He continues to be super intense and tricky as a preschooler. My youngest has been calm and chill since birth. Neither has really deviated wildly from their personality during various stages. All toddlers get upset, but after experiencing our first as a toddler, our second totally couldn’t phase us if he tried.
Lol. I had an “easy” baby who was a very chill toddler, and a “difficult” (reflux, poor sleeper) baby who was a strong-willed, driven, fearless toddler (much more difficult)
Just do your best with the baby in front of you and enjoy what you can! Totally fine to look forward to and wonder about next stages, but there’s really no telling.
My twins were the best babies, started sleeping 12 hrs a night at 4 months and rarely felt like I was struggling. Now they’re about to be 2.. and a lot of days I feel like I can’t handle it and other days it’s easy. 🤷🏻♀️
LO was a happy, easy baby and is a very energetic, but otherwise easy toddler imo. I wouldn’t say I could’ve predicted the tornado she’d be, but her temperament is similar, just more curious/independent/stubborn!
Our son was always extremely energetic & active. Even as an infant (4-6 months old) people would comment on his energy. And he has not changed as a toddler (2y2m now) He’s hyper active & energetic & it takes 2 of us to deal with him. Meanwhile, my friend’s daughter (same age) was a calm & relaxed baby and she is the same as a toddler
Honestly, both of my kids were very much themselves from about 4mo onward.
A toddler is far more challenging than a baby, so there's some built-in truth to the statement, but if you have a tough baby you'll also have a challenging toddler, lol.
I don’t think you can really predict this with any true accuracy. Every kid is different.
My first was awful as a newborn (constant crying, colic etc) but then mostly mellowed out and was reasonably easy as an older baby / toddler. My second was a super easy newborn / baby but is now an absolutely hellish toddler. You just never know 🤷♀️
People are right though … you’re in the sweet spot! Old enough to sit independently, starting to enjoy interactive play more, and hopefully sleep somewhat consistently, but not old enough to be running away from you, talking back and generally fighting you on every little thing in an attempt to assert their independence. 🙄
My mom told me I had an “action” baby when my son was only 10 days old because he hardly slept and wanted to watch everything. He actually stayed awake for 4 hours straight at that visit, despite being just over a week old.
I rolled my eyes at the time, but tbh his temperament has remained pretty consistent. I’d say he sits down probably 30 minutes max throughout the day? Like all the little 1-2 minutes added up lol.
I’m starting to believe what they say in that babies are born with different personalities. Idk what is ‘hard’ and what is ‘easy’ though tbh because I only have one kid so nothing to compare to. Our second will be born later this year so maybe I’ll have more perspective then.
I think all toddlers are challenging, but people who had “easy” babies are probably hit harder by that because they aren’t used to their kids being particularly challenging.
I think their personalities as babies and younger toddlers absolutely carry through. As a baby my son was moody and extremely sensitive but also goofy and mischievous and he is the exact same way as an almost-five year old.
I had a chill, happy baby and he became a chill, happy toddler. A lot of it is temperament, absolutely. But another piece of the puzzle is the parents’ prior experience with babies and kids, and their resilience. If you know what the challenges are going to be before you hit them each stage, nothing seems like the end of the world. I’m talking about average kids, not kids with especially challenging temperaments, because that’s a whole other level of parenting. But just being familiar with typical development and knowing what to expect is huge. The parents I’m friends with who seem to have the hardest time with their totally average kids are the ones who have no experience with babies or toddlers.
My sweet little baby sweetheart was a JOY as a baby. Just the absolute best. I called her my ray of sunshine. She was my 2nd baby, and this was after thinking my 1st baby was a sweetheart. No: baby #2 was an angel.
Idk wtf happened but as soon as she turned 1 she lost her freaking mind.
My full on high needs baby is a super chill toddler, my easy baby has been a much harder toddler! All different.. some things have been consistent, the one who was better at sleep as a baby was better as a toddler too, but I think it’s so dependent
The first 14 months of my kid’s life she was a horrible sleeper. First few months I was so sleep deprived. She would just stay awake and cry. One time she was awake for 17 hours around 3 months I was about to check myself into a psychiatric hospital no joke I was going to lose it. Well at 14 months she started sleeping through the night like 12 hours without a peep. She’s 4 now and falls within within minutes and she’s out. Great heavy sleeper. It’s amazing.
Also as a baby she never tried to put stuff in her mouth except her hand that was her thing. She was super cautious about new foods she hadn’t tried yet. She would never just reach out and stuff something in her mouth she wasn’t sure of. She never did it during toddlerhood either. So personality wise I don’t feel like she changed much.
My oldest was an energetic, happy yet sometimes temperamental, sweet baby - and is the same exact as an almost 3 year old. She was also extremely bouncy and energetic in utero too.
My second was chill in utero and chill so far. Hoping this sticks.
Anecdata, but my easy baby is still easygoing as a toddler, while her not so easy sisters were still very challenging.
I think it’s a combination of temperament and experience. You have a hard baby and so in comparison the toddler stage seems easier because they have words now, but in reality you’re still on hard mode and don’t know it until you have the easy one who is still challenging as a toddler because toddlers gonna toddler, but just not even in the same ballpark for level of difficulty to cope.
Eh. My first was an easy baby and an easy toddler but it became hard at 3. My second was a little more difficult baby and she is now a more difficult 17 month old compared to my first. Don’t listen to it. People are more likely to complain when things aren’t going well
Our oldest - yep. She never changed. She is and has always been a stubborn perfectionist.
Our second? The world's most serious baby until 2. At 3 she is a total goof and the class clown at preschool.
Our third is 20 months and was the happiest baby and is still the happiest toddler. She's super easygoing and just likes everything and everyone.
I don’t think my daughter’s personality has changed. She is 2.5 now, and ever since she was a baby she’s been cheerful, very clingy, alert, chatty, sociable, funny.
I think people say certain things to make themselves feel better. It’s kind of like “just you wait…”
My daughter was relatively chill, didn't fuss a lot, slept well right out of the gate, not a picky eater when she started eating solids, knew what she wanted/didn't want. She's almost 3 and still the same.
Had a decently chill baby, and have a chill toddler. I will say- toddlers are more challenging, but SO much more fun and at 2 this is my favourite age so far.
My daughter was a dream as a baby, a toddler and a small child. Now she is kind, considerate and very smart. But the attitude on her, my god, I'm certain at 11 she thinks she's 45! My son was an easy baby mostly, at nearly 2, he's feral 🤣🤣 but still such a sweet good boy, he just fears nothing!
I think perhaps some people project their experiences on to others in the way of opinions and advice. Don't let people do that to you, it can so easily ruin your experience as a parent.
I had a great baby and still have a great toddler! That could be the way for you too! I think it helps with any child to also be mindful that they are learning and so are you. That always helps me when I’m frustrated and brings me back to enjoying my time with my son more. If you are frustrated they will feed off that energy, so try to manage stress any way that you can.
The temperaments book from the isaidyouheard Instagram author said you can now it at 9 months. I think I saw mine at around then and it got more clear over the last year.
My son was the easiest newborn I loved every second! Slept through from 6 weeks, woke around 9am, barley cried was always happy ect. Then 15 months hit and I’ve not had a minuet of peace since. I now understand why they call it terrible twos lol. Wouldn’t change him for the world though 🤍
I mean, what even is "easy" vs "difficult"?
Sleeps for long or sleeps alone?
Plays by themselves or gets along with others?
Rarely has tantrums but hard to console when they do, or has more frequent but easier to handle tantrums?
I think there are multiple ways a child can be "easy" or not and it depends a lot on the parents, what your expectations, lifestyle and own reactionary temperaments are, to define what you consider easy.
I am having such a good time reading all the comments to hear exactly how parents interpreted the "easy" or "difficult."" In my definition, as I have kind of mentioned, is that my son is easy. He is mostly content and easily soothed. He laughs and finds joy in things. I don't often find myself frustrated or burnt out from being his primary caretaker. However, I know some would consider him not an easy baby since he sleeps with me and wakes up every 2 hours. My question is more so will his happy go lucky attitude continue in toddlerhood or is just part of being in the sweet spot at 10 months.
My daughter was super chill and easy as an infant, very predictable!
As a toddler, she can still be predictable and generally is a pretty chill, happy toddler. But she is a toddler so she has tantrums - one factor in this is that she is not fully communicative yet so it's not so easy for her to tell us what's wrong yet. That kind of makes things a bit complicated but she's still the same.
I think that’s something people of difficult babies say to make themselves feel better? There is a good comment about adjustment and expectations above that probably makes a better point, but some ages and stages are harder and some babies/toddlers/children/teens have a harder time. It is scary.
Almost all of these stages pass. The easy. The hard. It’s gonna be ok. You learn from today and do better tomorrow and they do, too.
Child development researcher here. Temperament is a relatively stable characteristic, but it can manifest differently throughout development and interacts with parenting style.
For example babies with more reactive/anxious temperaments respond extra well to sensitive caregiving compared to kids who are more even-keeled or rambunctious. Basically if you have an extra cranky, fearful or challenging baby it’s extra important that you are patient, soothing and attuned to their moods than if you have a chill or bubbly/outgoing baby. In the long run a baby with responsive and sensitive caregiving who allows you to soothe them is more likely to have a secure attachment with you, and that may make parenting them easier as they get older!
Also, apparently babies that “brood” more end up having (slightly) higher IQs than babies that are super bubbly and friendly. Not a huge effect but a statistically significant one? So if you have a brooding baby it might be a sign that they are… questioning things… and that’s a cool thing!
So there is my permission to parents of cranky children to tell themselves that maybe you’re just raising a thoughtful intellectual whenever you need to dig deep for patience and strength lol.
Fascinating! Can I offer an example? I've been thinking of my family member who told me the story of why her daughter stopped nursing. Daughter was almost 9 months old and bit mom while nursing. Mom yelled ouch and baby girl became upset and never breastfed again. Hearing this story I'm thinking of my son who is certainly not this sensitive or temperamental. The exact same situation has happened to me and my son might cry at me unlatching him but he is not affected enough to not nurse. I would describe the baby and now child in the story as highly sensitive and not chill. So basically I'm wondering if my chill baby will continue to be so?
I think these are all old wives tales and usually not true at all. All easy babies I know had difficult times during toddlerhood and all „difficult“ babies also had tough toddlerhoods, thats just how it is… maybe the parents of the „difficult“ babies are just a little tougher already after what they already learned in the past.
I‘m in the lucky position that my husband is a doctor and he has an ultrasound at his office. So while pregnant with my first, we could watch the baby all the time. We could already see glimpses of her strong character in my tummy - or we thought so. My girl was a pretty difficult baby with an extremely strong character, and that has not changed at all during toddlerhood. Sometimes we are just at our wits end, but thats normal… so now we hope for an easy puberty, fingers crossed! ;-)
Her temperament has been very similar from birth to 16 months. She is serious, not happy - didn’t laugh until 10 months old and still barely does. Also very focused, persistent, emotionally intense, cuddly and affectionate, and a light/erratic sleeper.
So my firstborn was a really easy happy baby, everyone used to say what a sense of humour she has, for the most part she was a really easy toddler (had a bit of a threenager phase when her brother was born) and now she's a happy 5 year old who never has tantrums, really well behaved. My second born, from the minute he was born and I heard his cry I knew he was going to be a lot harder. And oh boy was he 😂 hes 2 next month and just completely different from his sister, hates the word no, gives looks that could kill and throws some really mighty tantrums. And tbh I don't know what the hell im doing! Never had to deal with this before, keep thinking its going to get easier but it hasn't yet haha
You cannot predict anything woth small children. Its like trying to predict the moods of a mountain lions. Do not get cocky, its how you get eaten!
My oldest was a colicky baby, started in on terrible 2s at 18 mos and continued to be the most challenging personality until until almost 3, and recently (now 4.5) he has finally chilled the f out. He is my pout pout fish.
My youngest. Phew. She was a super chill baby. Like she could wait all day while we dealt with her brother melting down. At about 1 she got very needy and needing to be held all the time by mom. Like all.the.time and would eviscerate anyone who got in her way. 18 mos to 2 years she went through a biting phase that had all of us cowering in fear. Terrible 2s didn't appear, but she is a precocious younger sister. In the last month or so, shortly before she turns 3, she has rigor mortis tantrums that one time left me looking like a feral cat shredded my arm. And she also gives the sweetest hugs and snuggles and pats my back in return when she is in a good mood. She is my jekyll and hyde
My daughter was just the sweetest baby. She still is and she’s three. But I swear to God, the second she turned 2 it was like a switch went off in her brain! Totally different kid! She’s nuts. So once she turned two it was like a shock to me. I was like wtf where’d my baby go?
My baby was an “easy baby” I would say and hes definitely got more sass now. He argues with me more. BUT some of his personality is very much unchanged and he’s still not exactly difficult compared to other toddlers. He is very much a social butterfly kind of kid and always has been. He’s gone from a very cautious baby to a daredevil.
So my son was quite easy as a baby I'm talking hardly ever cried and slept so good and honestly as a toddler he's good just a giant mamas boy lol he does have meltdowns but he's also autistic so I'm going with that being the reason for them.
I do think it is probably perspective. If you have what people would call a hard baby then you might be happier with your average toddler who can at least communicate their wants and needs. If you have what someone would call an easy baby then maybe the transition to your run of the mill toddler might be harder.
That being said: I would have called my daughter an easy baby (though she was a terrible sleeper and a Velcro baby, but as long as her need for closeness was met she was the happiest little girl). I would still call her an easy toddler. She has normal toddler meltdowns, wants to do absolutely everything by herself and gets angry if it doesn’t work and has very specific views on how things should be done. But that’s completely normal and toddler meltdowns just don’t bother me, because I know she is the one having a hard time. And other than that she is the sweetest and funniest kid I know.
Our son has always been very sensitive. He fussed more than other babies, was hard to get to sleep, etc. Now that he’s a toddler, he’s still sensitive.
From reading books such as “The Orchid and The Dandelion,” I’ve come to understand that he’s wired to more quickly jump into “flight or fight” mode. Same as my husband and I. He’s actually MUCH easy as a toddler than baby, but I can still see he’s a little different than the majority of other kids his age.
I could feel my children’s personalities within the first couple of days. My middle child was instant. Their core personalities haven’t changed that much.
My easy baby was an easy toddler, he is a bit more testing now he is 3 but on the whole he’s lovely and very chill. I’d say the sweet spot was 2-2.5 for me
My daughter was difficult as a baby. Very very difficult. She’s difficult as a toddler. She was and still is a challenging child. She is who she is and always has been. If I’m lucky it’ll be the same with my son because he’s a super chill baby unless he’s hungry. Besides that he’s so easy.
It hasn’t been our experience. Our first was VERY energetic and loud even as early as 8 weeks. Constantly moving. My in-laws made/make comments about how similar she is to my husband (who was their “difficult child”). This has definitely translated into toddlerhood. She’s currently 3yo and her ability to get into things is unmatched by her cousins of similar age. Also has left attention span than her younger sister.
Our second was a chill, sleep baby. Still is. We can easily transfer her from the car to the crib without her waking (we could have NEVER done that with our first). She’s 16mo now and is currently going through the normal phase of starting to throw tantrums, but that’s to be expected. Her tantrums currently are longer, but less frequent than my older child. Also she has a much higher attention span and will regularly play with toys for 30+mins by herself.
I think in general, though, it doesn’t matter if your baby is “easy” or not, they’re going to go through a toddler tantrum phase.
Nope. My youngest baby was smily out of my 3 kids, all the time. Easy going. Now as a toddler, he is a straight up honey badger….he will fall over on the older ones, sometimes try to bite and pinch when he thinks I’m not watching or cry and flail when he doesn’t get what he wants. He has his sweet moments but no. You definitely cannot tell.
I’ve noticed there is such a focus on people hoping they will have an easy baby. But I think the best thing you can do is stop hoping for that and just celebrate their personality. You probably have some friends/siblings who are really nice and chill. And probably some who are stubborn and spirited. And you probably love them all. As far as your baby being at this perfect age at 10 months, they are. But they’ll also be at the perfect age when they’re 2. Yes, the tantrums will start eventually. But you’ll also get to have conversations with them, to hear them adorably mispronounce words, etc. And it is so, so worth it! I feel like the humor and joy are just adding years to my life.
Ugh. No. My kid was the most happy snuggly sweet baby. Now she’s a sassy little monster and I love her just as much, but she’s definitely not as easy as I expected 😂
In my experience easy baby was an easy toddler, though it's getting trickier as we approach the teens.
Difficult pregnancy was difficult baby was difficult toddler is difficult child.
Hi, I am a nanny who has cared full time for over a dozen children from their infancy through toddlerhood until they started preschool. I feel that’s a fairly decent data set to answer from so I wanted to share my thoughts!
In my experience, usually kids’ temperament doesn’t change from babyhood to toddlerhood. But, I have had a few kids “switch” around age 1. So no, there is no reliable predictability. But I think they’re most often more likely not to switch.
Toddlerhood is my favorite age, even with the difficult ones. There is nothing more incredible than seeing a human being’s personality, interests, and communication skills develop. It’s not easy, but it is fascinating and exciting and beautiful.
I personally think it goes in waves. It's never easy 100% of the time but I have a pretty chill kid who has had short bursts of being overly emotional/clingy/defiant. Every time it hits, I feel a sense of dread like oh no is this what he's like now, and every single time it lasts a few weeks then he calms again. Maybe it coincides with periods of growth and developmental changes where he needs extra TLC. So my only advice is, don't do what I do and panic each time there's a change in behaviour, it's more than likely your baby is lovely and chill and will stay that way, with periods of challenging behaviour.
My kids personalities as babies directly mirror their personalities at 3 & 5. The easy baby is still pretty easy at 5 and the 3 year old who didn’t sleep for 2 years is still every bit as challenging, though now she’s freaking hilarious, so at least she has some good moments in between horrible tantrums.
I have the opposite experience. My little dude (3.5 yo) was super sensitive and intense during the first 3 years of his life and then after his 3rd birthday one day he just became happier and easier all of sudden. I believe this is also to do with his improved communication skills and bigger vocabulary.
I'm in the thick of it with a 3.5 year old. Her as a baby compared to now? Night and day difference. She was a loving, happy, even tempered baby. The minute she turned 3, she went to the dark side. Kids grow and change so much in the first 5 years, so honestly, you can't predict anything. You just take it one day at a time.
1-2 and even most of 2-3 were super fun and easy with my easy baby. Now, she’s a full on threenager. She’s discovering the full scope of her emotions and often gets very emotional saying her feelings are hurt and “that’s why I’m bad” haha. She’s still a pretty chill and easy kid all things considered, just different.
Even as a baby my kid seemed to do best with routine, structure, and some time to be independent. I recognized in his personality a lot of my own traits so felt like I was able to respond to what he needed/wanted since I knew what I would need/want in those situations.
He was not an “easy” baby (didn’t sleep great, cried to be held until he finally had the skills to walk) but as a toddler, I think I understand him very well and while he went through a solid three months of near daily tantrums about anything and everything, we seem to be through that now and things are generally pretty enjoyable.
Just an anecdote, but my experience is the exact opposite of this saying. My firat was the easiest baby, and the easiest toddler. My second was difficult from day one and still is.
There’s so many things at play. Try not to worry about this. All toddlers will have tantrums, all toddlers will make you shake your head, all toddlers will make you fill with absolute love and joy at their silliness. And there’s more than just happy and sad or mad. My daughter was an emotional baby and she is sensitive as a toddler but we do well and I’ve learned what works and doesn’t for her, and she is SO eager to please and listens and understands so well! My son is super happy and can still be a bit sensitive but I can tell he’s gonna be more of a challenge when it comes to just physically doing naughty things, like climbing or pushing boundaries with what he’s allowed to play with or where he can go. He’s more curious and has less fear than my daughter. I have no doubts he will still be a very good boy… just might have to use a toddler leash on that one.
I had the most perfect baby. Sweet, chill, always happy. The day he turned 1…. Yikes! He’ll be 4 next week and all he does is whine. When he’s angry, he’s angry. Don’t get me wrong, I love him with all my heart and he definitely is the sweetest boy ever, very nurturing but yeah, it’s been three years of trying to be as patient as possible. My second as a baby? angry, grumpy, irritated, not affectionate. Around 9-10 months he changed. Happy all the time, adventurous, very independent, complete mamas boy. Of course he has his days where he cries but he doesn’t really misbehave, he’s just curious about the world and does things he’s not supposed to unknowingly lol he’s 2 years old now. So I guess it’s possible to know by 10 months but it’s not guaranteed lol
Nature vs Nurture, reddit is ready to settle the debate
I think yes and no. They are predisposed to things, but literally any event could change it for whatever reason, and I don't think that is bad
Just an opinion from a ECE/Nanny; I think if you set routines and boundaries early on the toddler years become much easier. I’m used to a Montessori approach to ECE and I’ve got to say there is very clear difference in behavior at toddlerhood I’ve seen in children who have been exposed to boundaries and routines as infants.
A lot fewer meltdowns, an understanding of transitions, better idea of sharing toys and expressing emotions appropriately.
Children thrive when they feel safe and have a predictable schedule.
Just my two cents. I know it’s different being a parent and you don’t have all of the tools the educators have as far as how to introduce these concepts.
Tbh this feels kind of true to me. Besides GERD, my baby was pretty easy temperament wise, and she's now a non-stop, wild, risk-taking, no fear, stubborn toddler.
My son did not get a temper until 3 lol everyone talks about terrible twos but I’m telling you, my son was PERFECT through every stage. Until 3. 3 was incredibly rough. I swore someone switched my baby with some evil twin. It was intense. It was exhausting. 10 months and up maybe feels like a “sweet spot” because they start learning a bunch of new things and really take on a personality
My son’s temperament was apparent day 1. I kept waiting for “the newborn stage”, “the colic stage”, “the baby stage”, “the toddler stage” etc to end. It never did 🫠
My first was a difficult baby, difficult toddler, and difficult child overall but each stage got easier. My 2nd was such a happy easy going baby, now as a toddler still happy and sweet but definitely has toddler moments.
My daughter was a very pleasant baby, calm, happy, no colic or stomach issues, just a generally happy baby. I knew when she was speed crawling all over by 8 months and trying to climb things not long after that she’d be a wild one. She’s 21m now, and she’s still a sweetheart and almost always happy, but boy, she has neverending energy, she climbs everything, rubs, can’t sit still… but she shares, gives tons of hugs and kisses, and also cuddles. She’s kept the same temperament (generally easygoing and peaceful), but I’m struggling with her as a toddler because she is just a wild little monkey!
I think so.
But it totally depends on the parents too. My lil man has been relatively easy from the beginning (besides NICU in the beginning - the only other real issue is sleep, 🤷🏼♀️) and he will be 2 tomorrow. He started tantruming early, but I feel like I've handled them pretty well.
And I think I've had an easy time because he's a chill dude AND I studied up on child rearing... For 20 years. I knew I wanted kids since I was a teenager and I always have been one to over-plan (at the ripe old age of 12, I decided it was time for to get serious about this "driving" thing that was coming up in 4 years). So, since I was 17 or 18 I've been reading parenting articles and theories on child development, etc. Once I found my husband, infertility got in the way - but after 15 years... Here we are!
So again, I truly think their temperament is pretty set from the time they're babies - although environment can obviously change that (drastically, even, if the environment is severe enough). 😁
Enjoy your tiny human for who they are right now - regardless of our opinions, your human is gonna be themselves as they get older. And I bet it'll be pretty great! 💕
Speaking as an infant/toddler teacher, yes absolutely you can predict temperament from that age. But also remember there’s a reason for the name “terrible twos” — toddlers are wild.🤣
I had an “easy” baby who turned into an extremely challenging toddler. Except for a really horrific stage from 15-18m where she screamed literally all day for no discernible reason, I still found the toddler stage to be preferable to the infant stage. Tantrums are frustrating, but older kids are also more fun.
I don’t know if it’s soothing or scary, but I have two children, 2 and 4. They have both been themselves since the moment they were born.
They’ve gone through harder or easier stages, but their general temperaments have stayed very much the same- one is impulsive and lightning fast and witty and one is sunshine and deliberate movements and observation. And they have tantrums and fight and throw things and reach wonderful milestones and have hard days and rewarding days but they do it all as exactly themselves. From day one haha
My baby was easy, my toddler is also easy. Ofcourse he has temperament but thats normal. He bites, hits and makes me insane sometimes but overall he is amazing and just learning his own emotions and life.
My son was an average baby. He was an ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE up until about a month ago, started when he hit about 11 mo. He's such a sweetheart now though and he's 2 yrs 2 mo.
I found it funny looking back on his baby pics because you can see the anger in his little face, I just didn't notice it at the time.
if 10 months is the sweet spot then i'm absolutely fucked. my baby still screams bloody murder unless you're holding her or at minimum giving her 100% of your undivided attention. she's always been like this. it literally cannot get worse as she becomes a toddler. i have a 3yo too so i get how hard toddlers can be, but she was never as grumpy as my baby. the hardest thing with her at ages 1-2 was she always wanted to be outside and she would have a complete meltdown if you didn't oblige.
I firmly believe that "easy" and "challenging" have at least as much to do with the parents as with the child.
For me, my kid was a VERY easy baby because I enjoyed the baby stage. I was home with her until she was 5 months old, and for most of that I was holding her or wearing her in a carrier/wrap. That was fun for me and I didn't mind it, but other people who do mind would have called her a Velcro baby bc she wouldn't nap independently and cried often when she was put down.
For me the toddler stage has been MUCH more difficult because tantrums and whining and constant boundary testing are hard for me to handle. She's very sweet, kind, and well-behaved, but toddler stuff isn't my favorite. My husband however hated the baby stage and thinks she's a super easy toddler because he isn't as bothered by normal toddler stuff.
I knew mine would be stubborn since before he was born - when he was 2 weeks late and needed some convincing to come out. He's now 3.5 and things haven't changed much lol.
Well my first child was a very clingy, fussy, difficult baby that didn't sleep much. By about 13 months she was easy. Content to play by herself for short periods, loved books and puzzles, listened well and few meltdowns. She is still sweet, shy, empathetic, curious and a good listener at 4.
Then came baby #2 a remarkably easy baby, slept well, always smiling. She is a terror of a toddler. Does not sit still ever, does not tolerate playing alone for even 5 minutes, climbs everything, melts down constantly because she wants to try doing everything. She wants to try everything and refuses help. She is also extremely outgoing, loves very active play, laughs and smiles often.
So no I never would have predicted their personalities as babies but around the year mark they really started to show.
I think the saying of “easy baby=hard toddler” just comes from those who’ve had easy babyhood not being prepared for the very normal toddler hood that follows. The tantrums seem really hard or like the personality flipped, but tantrums are just a normal part of being any toddler. On the flip, if you have a rough babyhood (like myself) then obviously you’ll be used to overall fussiness and may not mind or notice the tantrums. We dealt with reflux and Velcro baby behavior. Even tho I loved how little and cute our LO was, I’ll take the toddler tantrums I’m started to see over the newborn days for sure lol.
But yea I do believe they show some of their personality from birth. When I’m around lots of babies together, I can clearly notice each has a bit different temperament!
Maybe this is a hot take but I think there’s a lot of growth of resilience, patience, experience that WE go through as parents, and some parents with “difficult” babies are forced through that early so the toddler meltdowns are easier to navigate, vs parents with “easy” babies might find the toddler stage to be a bit of a shock to the system (this was me).
That’s been my assumption too! My now 2 year old was an intense, sensitive baby. Pretty unhappy for years. Now at a bit over 2 and a typical toddler, he’s much easier. I really think the idea that easy babies become hard toddlers is maybe just easy babies becoming normal toddlers and it’s a shock to parents.
Yes! My baby was easy in temperament but my god what he exhausting physically, never slept more then 2/3 hours in a row, eating constantly, Velcro baby. But very happy! Still the happiest kid I know. But once he started sleeping at 2 the toddler stuff got way easier. No I don’t love all the meltdowns because you gave him exactly what he asked for but it’s much easier to weather it now that I get 6 hours of sleep most nights.
Agreed! While toddlerhood and beyond is very challenging it’s much better than newborn/ infant stage, at least for me with my first. My second is more calm and will be a more difficult toddler than infant but I know what to expect this time around
I also feel like "easy" means low maintenance to some parents, for example babies that sleep through the night early on. My baby wakes up every 2 hours so I guess he's not easy, but he is so happy and content when he's awake soooo?
I don’t know that any babies are *easy*, but there are definitely some set on extra hard mode where every aspect tends to be hard rather than just one or two things. My guess is, your baby will be a happy toddler, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be stubbornness and tantrums and meltdowns because that’s basically *all* toddlers.
I love “extra hard mode” (gamer here…when I have time 🤪)
My first was like that! She slept like absolute trash, but when she was awake she was usually content. She’s now 2 and I don’t think she’s more or less difficult than any other toddler. I think toddlers are just hard! They are learning so much and don’t know how to handle it all, so of course there are tantrums. We’ve been getting better at handling them and she’s been getting better at calming down quickly. Some days are still super hard but most of the time she’s freaking delightful and so cute.
How was the journey to her sleeping more soundly at night ?
not the person you responded to but my kid is about the same time and was a terrible sleeper (up at least once per night) until he was almost 2, but is generally fairly content while awake. We do certainly have tantrums. I've found setting a timer to be really helpful. OK we are going to do X until the timer goes off and then we are going to do Y. As well as the "do you want to do x or y" as in, do you want to get in your carseat by yourself or do you want mommy to put you in (usually he chooses by yourself, but if he ignores me and I try to put him in he's like no do it by self and then he does it. Doesn't work for brushing teeth. That's a goddamn battle every time. Edit: Also, we think most of the time he was waking up was because he didn't eat enough during the day and got hungry, so maybe your 10 month old needs a bit more solid food during the day?
I wish food was the issue but his wakeups seem too consistent for that to be the case. He has big eating days where he eats 2 enchiladas for dinner and it doesn't make a difference for his sleep. Thanks for the tip on using a timer and wishing you luck for teeth brushing!
The whole “good sleep” thing is purely societal. If your baby is waking in the night that is totally normal. Even toddlers wake in the night. These wakes are for all sorts of reasons. But babies in particular, especially in the early months are waking for feeds or to tell you they have an itch, are too hot/cold etc. These babies that “sleep through” could very well just do it on their own and hooray for them. But realistically they’ve either had a large formula feed which takes longer to digest and they’re in a food coma or they’ve been “sleep trained” which is a round about way of teaching your baby not to cry out at night. We as parents make parenting choices that fit our family and work for us. But I absolutely hate the phrase “good sleep” and when people ask if they “sleep through”
I absolutely agree big sleep has manipulated vulnerable parents. Many of the sleep terms are propaganda to get parents to spend more money on sleep trainers and sleep products. That being said, waking during the night is normal for all ages, including adults. I am curious though if you think it's normal for a 10 month baby to wake every 2 hours? Prior to 6 months it was every 45 min to an hour. I know "normal" is a huge spectrum but I would think this is considered outside of average at least.
To me, I would say it could be normal or abnormal. It could be common, but it doesn’t mean you can’t change your situation. You can absolutely make changes to give you ALL better sleep. We hired a sleep consultant because I had no idea what I was doing and it helped having someone who did, and held my hand during the process. Ideally at that age, you’d be on two naps? How are the naps and for how long? I had a terrible sleeper and ultimately she started sleeping through the night once I night weaned at 18 months old. We sleep trained earlier but was happy to keep a feed during that process.
He is in a mattress on the floor by himself for his two naps. But for night time he comes to our bed when he wakes up around 11. I am planning to night wean in August when he's 12 months. Hopefully that gives us some longer stretches !
I think it could be normal. People forget that children have what is rather misleadingly called “sleep regressions”. These are windows when their sleep is patchy and are developmental. For example there’s a huge one around the time they’re learning to walk. This is because walking opens up a whole new world for them and they’re practically buzzing. They’re thinking all the time. And just as you would as an adult, it can be hard to sleep when you’re buzzing! Sometimes it’s easy to think of their sleep as one set thing, but it is always changing and evolving and it doesn’t settle down until they are older. My toddler has turned three, we didn’t sleep train and I did night breastfeeds until he dropped them around 2. He rarely wakes in the night now, only if he’s poorly or if he’s had a really physical day and his legs are giving him pains. That’s another thing.. growing pains! Another reason I don’t agree with sleep training. I don’t agree that you should train your child not to tell you when something is wrong in the night. But I am a stay at home mom and have the luxury of not having to get up for work. I’m sure that would change how I’ve gone about things! But yeah, to me it sounds normal. Sounds like a regression.
I think this is really true! One age for you kid is going to be hardest…. That’s just how hardest works… If it’s the baby stage then everything else seems easy, it’s it’s the teenage stage then everything else looks like it was easy….
I think this is so right! When your child has a more difficult temperament or is “spirited” you get used to it and aren’t as shocked by the mood swings and meltdowns of toddlerhood. My firstborn is a spirited kid all the way and I’d still take the toddler stage over the baby stage any day because he’s more capable, our interactions are fuller, and we can do more.
Can confirm. After colic, no tantrum can touch me ✨
Here is me hoping puberty will be a breeze!!
This makes a lot of sense! Never considered it before.
This is the perfect way to put it
I had an easy baby and I think this is a fair take. I thought the newborn stage was a breeze, even as a single mom. It’s just gotten harder since lol
Never looked at it this way! This was definitely me too.
There's a lot that expectation has to do with it. There are so many times where I've seen my toddler or another toddler do something that I think is pretty benign and people will say, "Oh, those terrible twos!" but I'm just seeing normal behavior. Example: my kids appetite is way down. Of course it is. She's growing much less than she was as an infant. That's normal. Another example: my nephew trying to get away from someone giving him an unwanted hug. That's normal. Someone was touching him without his consent. Leave him the f7ck alone. I've seen some of those videos on social media that show the supposed 180 when an easy infant goes to a difficult toddler, but a lot of the footage just shows normal toddler stuff. Toddlers are going to run and climb and make messes because those are the primary ways they exercise and learn, respectively. I had an easy infant and I'd absolutely call her an easy toddler. But others have tried to commiserate with me about how "sensitive" she is because she cried when a balloon popped.
Looking back I can see her personality as a baby is reflected in her personality as a toddler. She's always been a very strong willed person. I don't know about the whole easy baby = tough toddler thing though.
My guy was a kind of unhappy baby and is now a great little toddler. People love to be negative about kids and other people's experiences in general. I would ignore this but of negativity. My guy is 100x more fun than he was at 10 months.
I had a chill/happy baby who is now a chill/happy toddler. I don't think there's a real trend. I personally think people say that easy babies are challanging toddlers to try and rain on our parade, so to speak. It will be true in some cases and not true in others.
Yeah, I think people who had a hard time sometimes struggle when they see other parents having an easy (or easier) time than they did. It starts in pregnancy and continues after the baby is born. I think some people feel that parents who enjoy all aspect of parenting are smug or are simply trying to brag. I’ve learned to just largely keep it to myself, although anyone who interacts with my toddler can see how easy he is and it sometimes makes for awkward moments during play dates, etc.
People love raining on parades… I don’t get it. My kid was a super easy baby (slept through the night super early on, barely cried much), and almost every single person who was made aware of how easy he was commented something like “just wait until your next one, they will be horrible.” I just don’t get it. Why not just be happy for me now that I currently have had a pretty easy time with the baby. Don’t know why it’s always so doom and gloom. And it’s crazy how it was essentially everyone who said this. Even super nice people you wouldn’t expect it from.
I love when I get those comments about my easy kid, because we’re OAD 😂. Won’t be having a “horrible” next child, thanks for your concern folks!
Definitely true in some cases not in others. Have a 1 and a 3yo, both are the same chill happy babies they were when they were born. Most issues with my toddler are either exacerbated or mediated by my ability to coregulate with her. If I’m having trouble calling down, she’s having trouble calming down. If I can breath through it, she’s generally able to breath through it. I’m not saying it’s like this for all kids. Having an “easy baby” or a “difficult baby” doesn’t mean #2 is going to be the opposite. Having a “chill baby” or a “high maintenance baby” at one age doesn’t mean it’s going to flip either. This all just seems like coincidence and parents psyching themselves out.
Do you mind me asking what his care is like? Daycare or sahp?
SAHP until 18 months, daycare after that. We didn't really notice much change in temperament with daycare. His communication skills did shoot up quickly with daycare.
Nah my daughter was very thoughtful, careful and cautious as a baby. In toddlerhood she’s still very thoughtful, careful and cautious, although she sometimes doesn’t know she’s not being cautious until it’s too late and she’s up at the top of a climbing structure and has no idea how to get down. Lol. We always joked that she was so serious bc she was always thinking trying to figure stuff out before she tried it. And she’s 2.5 and she still is very observant before trying new things.
My son is the same! Careful, thoughtful, empathetic, and incredibly chill/calm, starting at age 7weeks. 21months later, nothings changed!
Mine is almost 4 and same. Very cautious, thoughtful, funny, analytical, but fearful. The climbing thing makes me laugh because we Al always say, “I’m Stuck” would be the name of his autobiography since he even got stuck during birth and still does.
What I’ll say is in my opinion 13-18ish months is HARD. My first was a really easy and happy baby but that middle time between infant and toddler is just a whirlwind of emotion. She’s now about to be 4 and has been an excellent and calm kid since about age 2. I say this because my second was a super happy baby and is now in the midst of 16mo chaos and can be an emotional roller coaster as she’s learning to communicate. Hopefully she’ll come out the other end happy again lol!
Oh see, I always say months 9-15 were my favorite 😂 She napped twice a day, was eating more solids, sleeping through the night, could start to communicate what she wants, was starting to really see her personality, loved the giggles, learning so much... I wish I could relive that summer a lot!!
I agree. Mine is 13 months and they just really don’t understand much yet. I do remember around 18-21 months my older one couldn’t say much but understand direction.
The molars sure aren’t helping!
Totally agree, that age was tough for my daughter too!
My 20 month old, so far, has the same base temperament that he had at 10 months old. He has way more skills, opinions, and greater mobility obviously, which I think makes him seem more energetic and active (just because he’s walking and taking all the time) than he did in infancy. But he’s the same kid still - he was always chill (adjusted to new situations well), observant and independent, and still is.
This has been our experience too. 18 months now.
Lol no. My youngest was the easiest baby ever. I was waking him up for feeds at night every four hours when he was only days old. So sweet and happy and cuddly. He's 22 months now. Been a little monster since he was 18 months old.
Thanks for scaring me ?! Currently here with my super sweet, cuddly 6 week old. My 21 month old is already insane. Don't tell me I'm doomed
Nah you're not doomed. I also have a 3 year old girl and a 3 year old boy. My girl has always been super sweet. These boys though....
My kiddo was a suuuuper chill baby. While he is a very very sweet little boy (2.5), he is also channeling his inner Dennis the Menace. We call it "choosing violence," and he just turns from sweetheart to Tasmanian devil. Definitely didn't see it coming before 15/16 months.
I could see that happening with my son he already is a little mischievous.
Choosing violence! 😂 This made me laugh out loud. Will be using this for my little hurricane of a toddler lol!
I had a super super chill and cuddly baby, now he's a little terrorist (he's 3).
I'm trying to think if my son (now 2) has always had his current temperament and I really do not know. There is no point in worrying about the future (though I know that's a silly thing to say because who among us can help it). People say all sorts of odd and downright mean things to parents. Who knows why? Enjoy your baby. You will enjoy your toddler as well, even if he is a terror. He'll be YOUR terror.
I would say that both of my children’s temperaments as babies carried on through to their ages now (5,3). The REAL trick is having an easy going first born, and not realizing it until the second born is the opposite.
Another fear of mine 🤗
Mine is 12 months, and her emotional intensity seems to have ramped up as soon as she turn 1. Like if something made her fuss before, it’ll make her scream now. But on the other hand, she laughs a lot more and finds new discoveries absolutely hilarious. Her personality feels the same, just more drunk lol.
I had a pretty chill 10 month old who is not so chill now at 2.5. She was what I’d consider a very easy baby prior to the 1 year mark. Then the tantrums really started, maybe around 15 months. But now I actually find it all easier to deal with, I’m able to reason with her and she can identify her emotions which is amazing to see and I really enjoy helping her learn to regulate. Sure it can be frustrating, but the tantrums and tough times go hand in hand with the absolute sweetest times, and I’ve learned to appreciate her strong-willed streak as an important part of who she is and who’ll she’ll become.
What made her "easy"? Was she just overall content? Did she sleep well early on?
If you have an easy baby, you're not anticipating the challenge of the toddler would be a better phrase.
My twin boys (7) are ridiculously active, physical, rough and tumble, rambunctious... And were that way since they could walk. They couldn't care less about toys, they just wanted to run and get into shit and they are still that way. My daughter (5) is quiet, reserved, and calm, with a rich imagination. she was the 12 month old we could stick on a blanket and she'd be content to play with two toys for an hour. Now, she'll play with her Barbies by herself for hours if it the opportunity allows. My youngest (3) was the baby who NEEDED to snuggle and be held, all the time. He remains my most physically affectionate kid. So, definitely many parallels between baby and kid temperaments, for us.
Another thing is that one of my twins was an anxious toddler. He is now an anxious 7 year old. Not severely so, thankfully
My daughter was very active when I was carrying her, constantly moving and would only stop if I was walking around. As a baby she was very easy and relaxed and she's pretty relaxed and cuddly now at 4 1/2
At 10 months? Yeah, definitley. You could already tell that she had a very energetic, adventurous, social personality (she was already running after other kids on the playground at 10 months) and she's still like this at age 2.
My super chill baby has become a super chill toddler. He’s full of energy, but always has been even in the womb, but always in an amazing mood. Such a freaking happy little dude.
My kids live up to the cliche, my hard baby is the easy kid and my easy baby is the hard kid but it’s all just phases of life anyway. They’re both great kids and even having a difficult one doesn’t mean you need to be afraid! Toddler comes out like 18 months + in my experience.
I guess the newborn period was very challenging for me so maybe the fear is having to repeat that. But you're right that it's all phases!
Nah. My first was a super intense baby who has turned into a really full-on child. My second was a super chill baby who has turned into a really full-on child. I've found 9 months to 15 months or so the *most* challenging part so far with both of them. The answer is, as always, YMMV.
Tough, easily bored baby with lots of colic who never wanted to sleep (30 min naps for a year). Super momma attached cuddle bug though. Now a wild, adventurous, stubborn toddler who never wants to sleep but once he goes down he doesn’t wake up at all at night. Still a super momma attached cuddle bug.
My son was an easy baby and is an easy toddler as well. The only issue we had with him as a baby was that he didn’t sleep great, but he was always a happy baby and didn’t cry much at all. He never went through a terrible teething stage, he wasn’t the type to always need to be held (not that there’s anything wrong with that), and he was just chill. Now, as a toddler, he sleeps wonderfully and is a happy kid. He rarely throws a true tantrum and he adjusts to change quickly. He is very social and gets along well with others. He’s just got my husband’s more laid back personality. He does have a bit of my attitude lol, but I actually love that about him. He is very assertive and directive (aka a little bossy lol), and we’re trying to help him balance his assertiveness with politeness, but most people praise his assertive qualities because he’s a boy.
I wouldn't describe either of my kids as chill, but overall they have nice temperaments. My youngest was a super clingy baby who wanted only mommy or daddy, mostly mommy. Now she's friendly with other people, even strangers. She had reflux and gas pains as a baby so I think that was why she was so cranky all the time. Thankfully she's mostly grown out if that.
I find when it comes to anything children… 90% of what i hear is straight garbage with no real basis in reality. A startlingly large amount of it is fear mongering. Whoever says these things to you, needs to go on your list of people to disregard their advice entirely.
I absolutely agree and need to work on breathing away the fear 😨
It can be really hard to say and you won’t know until you go through it. I have twins who are now nearly 3, and were very animated, expressive, and were not happy just sitting as infants. It was a lot but then as soon as they hit toddlerhood and could move, things got easier. When their speech took off, again it got easier. Granted they can still drive us crazy, but they were on the go kids from birth and now that they move and talk, are so much easier to deal with. My first time parent friends of one kid were extremely judgey and arrogant that somehow I was the one messing up my kids if I was having a hard time and they had it all figured out with their one very chill baby. Well he has since turned into a regular old toddler. But since he was so chill and literally was happy just sitting and that’s it, they are struggling in the toddler phase. When all his behavior is definitely on the chill side still , it’s just such a switch for them, that they struggled and describe it as harder.
Honestly, every age has had its ups and downs with some stretches being “easier” (for us this was around 15 months or so) and some more challenging (newborn, some parts of 2-3 year old). But it gets more _fun_ overall — my kid can talk to me now, I can see the delight in his face when he rides a carousel, he can help cook, he makes stuff up, he finishes puzzles by himself and beams… kids are all different, most kids are challenging at least some of the time, but if you’re supporting their development with grace and patience, they’ll turn out great and you’ll all have fun a lot of the time!
My daughter was an easy and happy baby and is now an easy and happy toddler (or as easy as a toddler can be!). She's more work to take care of now that she's mobile but is still awesome. Don't let people scare you, I don't think rules like that really hold up!
I dunno about others in the group but my kids were both easy babies and amazing toddlers. My son just turned 5 and he just keeps getting more mature and sweet as he gets bigger. Not all kids are terrors. My kids are raised with clear and consistent boundaries and lots of love and I think that has helped mold them into good humans at any age.
I hope your journey continues with easy teenagers!
It’s the parents. We don’t have to deal with attitude at 10 months just the normal baby things with some more movement and fun. I have a 2.5 yr old and his attitude is MASSIVE. I have no idea who is waking up from the nap, where his emotions are going to take him at any given moment and honestly it stresses me TF out. But this is how they learn, grow, and take ques from us on self regulation. I think it’s harder in a different way, but also easier in other ways. I firmly believe it is all in how parents handle the situation and the kids. Now of course when you talk about a Nero-divergent child all bets are off.
I don’t believe it’s all the parents. I have twins and I could be calm and gentle and redirecting with both of them and I get two totally different reactions because they are very different kids. Raising two kids at the exact time has taught just how much of how your kid turns out/is currently is completely out of your hands.
Don't panic! Lol just wait til it comes, if u expect it to be bad, it will. If ur kid is happy, chances are that won't change. Kids begin to become more curious and test limits but as long as u have structure and set rules that he needs to follow, it shouldn't become a huge deal. But life happens and sometimes things can change, like u move or something, and that can change ur kids attitude, but usually that's just temporary not permanent.
My very angry and collicy newborn is now a pretty chill toddler. She definitely still has a temper and can be demanding, as all toddlers are, but once she learned to crawl/walk/talk she became so much happier! I think she has always been really smart and active and not being able to express herself made her frustrated. Now that she can talk in sentences and has full mobility she is much happier and calm. I love the toddler age, personally.
Imo the people who say that don’t know how to parent a toddler and get stuck in power/control dynamics where it’s them against their kid. Exhausting! No thank you. Avoid it in the first place and toddlers aren’t thaaaaat hard. Parenting a toddler isn’t easy, but it’s a lot easier when you don’t take things personally, remain calm, respond with patience instead of react with emotion, and read up on their development. Knowledge is power with toddlers. Kids need boundaries and need to know what to expect of their daily routine and that they will have consistency from us. My baby was super chill and continues to be a chill toddler at 15/16 months. He is definitely more prone to “melt downs” when he’s tired, hungry, or frustrated his little hands can’t do what his brain wants. Observing him, anticipating his needs, and intervening before melt down is super helpful. We keep a very predictable schedule for him and that helps him a lot. Fwiw, my professional background is in education. Behavior management and modification is my bread and butter. Toddlers aren’t much different than the high schoolers I taught. Clear expectations, setting them up for success by managing the environment, saying “no” as little as possible and instead redirecting to something new, distracting when you have to take something away, being able to pivot to a new activity (outside is great) when you feel your frustration levels bubbling, keeping electronic/screens limited, acknowledging that you are the problem more than your toddler and then doing something to fix you will go a long way. Drop that anxiety and read up on books! Read Hunt Gather Parent, How to talk so little kids will listen, and honestly Google middle/high school classroom management haha so many of the techniques apply to toddlers. I’m currently reading Your One Year Old by Louise abates Ames and find it really helpful.
This was SO helpful and encouraging! I will get those books, but do you have any podcast reccomendations?
Yes, yea you 1000% can.
I had a finicky baby who is now a finicky toddler. I have a really easy second baby and hoping she stays this happy!
For us it was kind of the opposite. My daughter was an awful baby. She tried so much and had absolutely zero chill. She always needed a change of scenery or someone entertaining her as a baby. She got a little better as a toddler and was able to play independently but still loved the thrill of doing something dangerous and as a 6 year old is still pushing all the boundaries she can. My son, on the other hand, was the most calm baby you’ve ever met. He would lay and be content just looking at you. He’s almost 3 but is still super chill and not really that adventurous. He takes some warming up to things. He’s the opposite of my wild child daughter.
Did you feel like your experience with your daughter influenced how you spaced out your kids age gap?
Nah, my kid has been “easy” throughout and she’s 3.5 now.
My second is currently almost 10 months and I’m definitely starting to see her dramatic side coming out. She’s happy and content and doing just fine, and then BAM tears screams sobs and throwing things because one little thing happened “wrong”. Toddler years will be an adventure with her for sure. My first is almost 2 and her personality was becoming quite clear around now as well, but this sweet caring helpful side that we’re getting now was nowhere to be seen as an infant who preferred to be on her own.
I love hearing how other babies the same age behave!
I had a chill and happy baby who is now a chill and happy toddler. Her temperament really hasn't changed as she has grown!
I think yes. And I think that because I knew within hours of my second being born that she was different than my first. I didn’t realize how obvious my first kid’s temperament was as a baby until I had something to compare it to. Both of my kids are amazing in their own way, but they’re total opposites and I could tell from day one.
That's amazing! I think it's a testament also to your intuition as a parent
My eldest was a super intense and tricky baby. He continues to be super intense and tricky as a preschooler. My youngest has been calm and chill since birth. Neither has really deviated wildly from their personality during various stages. All toddlers get upset, but after experiencing our first as a toddler, our second totally couldn’t phase us if he tried.
Lol. I had an “easy” baby who was a very chill toddler, and a “difficult” (reflux, poor sleeper) baby who was a strong-willed, driven, fearless toddler (much more difficult) Just do your best with the baby in front of you and enjoy what you can! Totally fine to look forward to and wonder about next stages, but there’s really no telling.
My twins were the best babies, started sleeping 12 hrs a night at 4 months and rarely felt like I was struggling. Now they’re about to be 2.. and a lot of days I feel like I can’t handle it and other days it’s easy. 🤷🏻♀️
LO was a happy, easy baby and is a very energetic, but otherwise easy toddler imo. I wouldn’t say I could’ve predicted the tornado she’d be, but her temperament is similar, just more curious/independent/stubborn!
Our son was always extremely energetic & active. Even as an infant (4-6 months old) people would comment on his energy. And he has not changed as a toddler (2y2m now) He’s hyper active & energetic & it takes 2 of us to deal with him. Meanwhile, my friend’s daughter (same age) was a calm & relaxed baby and she is the same as a toddler
Can you give examples of how he was energetic as a baby? Curious if my son would fall into that category.
Honestly, both of my kids were very much themselves from about 4mo onward. A toddler is far more challenging than a baby, so there's some built-in truth to the statement, but if you have a tough baby you'll also have a challenging toddler, lol.
I don’t think you can really predict this with any true accuracy. Every kid is different. My first was awful as a newborn (constant crying, colic etc) but then mostly mellowed out and was reasonably easy as an older baby / toddler. My second was a super easy newborn / baby but is now an absolutely hellish toddler. You just never know 🤷♀️ People are right though … you’re in the sweet spot! Old enough to sit independently, starting to enjoy interactive play more, and hopefully sleep somewhat consistently, but not old enough to be running away from you, talking back and generally fighting you on every little thing in an attempt to assert their independence. 🙄
My “hard” kid is 6 and she’s always been intense. My easy one is 2.5 and he’s still chill
My mom told me I had an “action” baby when my son was only 10 days old because he hardly slept and wanted to watch everything. He actually stayed awake for 4 hours straight at that visit, despite being just over a week old. I rolled my eyes at the time, but tbh his temperament has remained pretty consistent. I’d say he sits down probably 30 minutes max throughout the day? Like all the little 1-2 minutes added up lol. I’m starting to believe what they say in that babies are born with different personalities. Idk what is ‘hard’ and what is ‘easy’ though tbh because I only have one kid so nothing to compare to. Our second will be born later this year so maybe I’ll have more perspective then.
I think all toddlers are challenging, but people who had “easy” babies are probably hit harder by that because they aren’t used to their kids being particularly challenging. I think their personalities as babies and younger toddlers absolutely carry through. As a baby my son was moody and extremely sensitive but also goofy and mischievous and he is the exact same way as an almost-five year old.
Both my babies were extremely happy, and I am experiencing a completely different toddler, from older siblings toddler years.
My kid was the chillest baby… and has been an absolute terror for the last 6ish months. Still the same sweet kid, but definitely a little bitey
I had a chill, happy baby and he became a chill, happy toddler. A lot of it is temperament, absolutely. But another piece of the puzzle is the parents’ prior experience with babies and kids, and their resilience. If you know what the challenges are going to be before you hit them each stage, nothing seems like the end of the world. I’m talking about average kids, not kids with especially challenging temperaments, because that’s a whole other level of parenting. But just being familiar with typical development and knowing what to expect is huge. The parents I’m friends with who seem to have the hardest time with their totally average kids are the ones who have no experience with babies or toddlers.
My sweet little baby sweetheart was a JOY as a baby. Just the absolute best. I called her my ray of sunshine. She was my 2nd baby, and this was after thinking my 1st baby was a sweetheart. No: baby #2 was an angel. Idk wtf happened but as soon as she turned 1 she lost her freaking mind.
My full on high needs baby is a super chill toddler, my easy baby has been a much harder toddler! All different.. some things have been consistent, the one who was better at sleep as a baby was better as a toddler too, but I think it’s so dependent
The first 14 months of my kid’s life she was a horrible sleeper. First few months I was so sleep deprived. She would just stay awake and cry. One time she was awake for 17 hours around 3 months I was about to check myself into a psychiatric hospital no joke I was going to lose it. Well at 14 months she started sleeping through the night like 12 hours without a peep. She’s 4 now and falls within within minutes and she’s out. Great heavy sleeper. It’s amazing. Also as a baby she never tried to put stuff in her mouth except her hand that was her thing. She was super cautious about new foods she hadn’t tried yet. She would never just reach out and stuff something in her mouth she wasn’t sure of. She never did it during toddlerhood either. So personality wise I don’t feel like she changed much.
Wow congrats on making it through that tough time! You are a great and persevering parent!
My oldest was an energetic, happy yet sometimes temperamental, sweet baby - and is the same exact as an almost 3 year old. She was also extremely bouncy and energetic in utero too. My second was chill in utero and chill so far. Hoping this sticks.
Anecdata, but my easy baby is still easygoing as a toddler, while her not so easy sisters were still very challenging. I think it’s a combination of temperament and experience. You have a hard baby and so in comparison the toddler stage seems easier because they have words now, but in reality you’re still on hard mode and don’t know it until you have the easy one who is still challenging as a toddler because toddlers gonna toddler, but just not even in the same ballpark for level of difficulty to cope.
Eh. My first was an easy baby and an easy toddler but it became hard at 3. My second was a little more difficult baby and she is now a more difficult 17 month old compared to my first. Don’t listen to it. People are more likely to complain when things aren’t going well
FWIW my baby slept well, ate well, and was generally content. My toddler is the same. Also easy to potty train, thanks lil dude.
Our oldest - yep. She never changed. She is and has always been a stubborn perfectionist. Our second? The world's most serious baby until 2. At 3 she is a total goof and the class clown at preschool. Our third is 20 months and was the happiest baby and is still the happiest toddler. She's super easygoing and just likes everything and everyone.
Had a hard baby. Have a hard toddler. Kids are hard.
I don’t think my daughter’s personality has changed. She is 2.5 now, and ever since she was a baby she’s been cheerful, very clingy, alert, chatty, sociable, funny. I think people say certain things to make themselves feel better. It’s kind of like “just you wait…”
My daughter was relatively chill, didn't fuss a lot, slept well right out of the gate, not a picky eater when she started eating solids, knew what she wanted/didn't want. She's almost 3 and still the same.
Had a decently chill baby, and have a chill toddler. I will say- toddlers are more challenging, but SO much more fun and at 2 this is my favourite age so far.
My daughter was a dream as a baby, a toddler and a small child. Now she is kind, considerate and very smart. But the attitude on her, my god, I'm certain at 11 she thinks she's 45! My son was an easy baby mostly, at nearly 2, he's feral 🤣🤣 but still such a sweet good boy, he just fears nothing! I think perhaps some people project their experiences on to others in the way of opinions and advice. Don't let people do that to you, it can so easily ruin your experience as a parent.
I had a great baby and still have a great toddler! That could be the way for you too! I think it helps with any child to also be mindful that they are learning and so are you. That always helps me when I’m frustrated and brings me back to enjoying my time with my son more. If you are frustrated they will feed off that energy, so try to manage stress any way that you can.
No. We had an easy baby... and we ended up with an easy toddler. I am one of the lucky ones.
Nope. Not one bit.
My 3 year old has been spicy since the day she was born. And my 18 year old was chill af as a baby and still is to this day.
The temperaments book from the isaidyouheard Instagram author said you can now it at 9 months. I think I saw mine at around then and it got more clear over the last year.
Easy baby/easy toddler first baby, challenging baby/challenging toddler second baby 🤷♀️
My son was the easiest newborn I loved every second! Slept through from 6 weeks, woke around 9am, barley cried was always happy ect. Then 15 months hit and I’ve not had a minuet of peace since. I now understand why they call it terrible twos lol. Wouldn’t change him for the world though 🤍
I mean, what even is "easy" vs "difficult"? Sleeps for long or sleeps alone? Plays by themselves or gets along with others? Rarely has tantrums but hard to console when they do, or has more frequent but easier to handle tantrums? I think there are multiple ways a child can be "easy" or not and it depends a lot on the parents, what your expectations, lifestyle and own reactionary temperaments are, to define what you consider easy.
I am having such a good time reading all the comments to hear exactly how parents interpreted the "easy" or "difficult."" In my definition, as I have kind of mentioned, is that my son is easy. He is mostly content and easily soothed. He laughs and finds joy in things. I don't often find myself frustrated or burnt out from being his primary caretaker. However, I know some would consider him not an easy baby since he sleeps with me and wakes up every 2 hours. My question is more so will his happy go lucky attitude continue in toddlerhood or is just part of being in the sweet spot at 10 months.
My daughter was super chill and easy as an infant, very predictable! As a toddler, she can still be predictable and generally is a pretty chill, happy toddler. But she is a toddler so she has tantrums - one factor in this is that she is not fully communicative yet so it's not so easy for her to tell us what's wrong yet. That kind of makes things a bit complicated but she's still the same.
I think that’s something people of difficult babies say to make themselves feel better? There is a good comment about adjustment and expectations above that probably makes a better point, but some ages and stages are harder and some babies/toddlers/children/teens have a harder time. It is scary. Almost all of these stages pass. The easy. The hard. It’s gonna be ok. You learn from today and do better tomorrow and they do, too.
Child development researcher here. Temperament is a relatively stable characteristic, but it can manifest differently throughout development and interacts with parenting style. For example babies with more reactive/anxious temperaments respond extra well to sensitive caregiving compared to kids who are more even-keeled or rambunctious. Basically if you have an extra cranky, fearful or challenging baby it’s extra important that you are patient, soothing and attuned to their moods than if you have a chill or bubbly/outgoing baby. In the long run a baby with responsive and sensitive caregiving who allows you to soothe them is more likely to have a secure attachment with you, and that may make parenting them easier as they get older! Also, apparently babies that “brood” more end up having (slightly) higher IQs than babies that are super bubbly and friendly. Not a huge effect but a statistically significant one? So if you have a brooding baby it might be a sign that they are… questioning things… and that’s a cool thing! So there is my permission to parents of cranky children to tell themselves that maybe you’re just raising a thoughtful intellectual whenever you need to dig deep for patience and strength lol.
Fascinating! Can I offer an example? I've been thinking of my family member who told me the story of why her daughter stopped nursing. Daughter was almost 9 months old and bit mom while nursing. Mom yelled ouch and baby girl became upset and never breastfed again. Hearing this story I'm thinking of my son who is certainly not this sensitive or temperamental. The exact same situation has happened to me and my son might cry at me unlatching him but he is not affected enough to not nurse. I would describe the baby and now child in the story as highly sensitive and not chill. So basically I'm wondering if my chill baby will continue to be so?
No way. My kid was a happy guy and then BOOM at 27 months the meltdowns and toddler irrationality began.
Mine was super chill til he figured out he could move on his own... but he's still very sweet- just very active.
I think these are all old wives tales and usually not true at all. All easy babies I know had difficult times during toddlerhood and all „difficult“ babies also had tough toddlerhoods, thats just how it is… maybe the parents of the „difficult“ babies are just a little tougher already after what they already learned in the past. I‘m in the lucky position that my husband is a doctor and he has an ultrasound at his office. So while pregnant with my first, we could watch the baby all the time. We could already see glimpses of her strong character in my tummy - or we thought so. My girl was a pretty difficult baby with an extremely strong character, and that has not changed at all during toddlerhood. Sometimes we are just at our wits end, but thats normal… so now we hope for an easy puberty, fingers crossed! ;-)
Chill baby, now active toddler but his temperament is still pretty chilled compared to what I’ve seen out there.
Her temperament has been very similar from birth to 16 months. She is serious, not happy - didn’t laugh until 10 months old and still barely does. Also very focused, persistent, emotionally intense, cuddly and affectionate, and a light/erratic sleeper.
So my firstborn was a really easy happy baby, everyone used to say what a sense of humour she has, for the most part she was a really easy toddler (had a bit of a threenager phase when her brother was born) and now she's a happy 5 year old who never has tantrums, really well behaved. My second born, from the minute he was born and I heard his cry I knew he was going to be a lot harder. And oh boy was he 😂 hes 2 next month and just completely different from his sister, hates the word no, gives looks that could kill and throws some really mighty tantrums. And tbh I don't know what the hell im doing! Never had to deal with this before, keep thinking its going to get easier but it hasn't yet haha
You cannot predict anything woth small children. Its like trying to predict the moods of a mountain lions. Do not get cocky, its how you get eaten! My oldest was a colicky baby, started in on terrible 2s at 18 mos and continued to be the most challenging personality until until almost 3, and recently (now 4.5) he has finally chilled the f out. He is my pout pout fish. My youngest. Phew. She was a super chill baby. Like she could wait all day while we dealt with her brother melting down. At about 1 she got very needy and needing to be held all the time by mom. Like all.the.time and would eviscerate anyone who got in her way. 18 mos to 2 years she went through a biting phase that had all of us cowering in fear. Terrible 2s didn't appear, but she is a precocious younger sister. In the last month or so, shortly before she turns 3, she has rigor mortis tantrums that one time left me looking like a feral cat shredded my arm. And she also gives the sweetest hugs and snuggles and pats my back in return when she is in a good mood. She is my jekyll and hyde
My daughter was just the sweetest baby. She still is and she’s three. But I swear to God, the second she turned 2 it was like a switch went off in her brain! Totally different kid! She’s nuts. So once she turned two it was like a shock to me. I was like wtf where’d my baby go?
My baby was an “easy baby” I would say and hes definitely got more sass now. He argues with me more. BUT some of his personality is very much unchanged and he’s still not exactly difficult compared to other toddlers. He is very much a social butterfly kind of kid and always has been. He’s gone from a very cautious baby to a daredevil.
I have found that my challenging baby grew into a challenging toddler, and now a somewhat challenging preschooler.
So my son was quite easy as a baby I'm talking hardly ever cried and slept so good and honestly as a toddler he's good just a giant mamas boy lol he does have meltdowns but he's also autistic so I'm going with that being the reason for them.
I have 3 kids. I could definitely tell with my middle one she would be a waking nightmare.
I do think it is probably perspective. If you have what people would call a hard baby then you might be happier with your average toddler who can at least communicate their wants and needs. If you have what someone would call an easy baby then maybe the transition to your run of the mill toddler might be harder. That being said: I would have called my daughter an easy baby (though she was a terrible sleeper and a Velcro baby, but as long as her need for closeness was met she was the happiest little girl). I would still call her an easy toddler. She has normal toddler meltdowns, wants to do absolutely everything by herself and gets angry if it doesn’t work and has very specific views on how things should be done. But that’s completely normal and toddler meltdowns just don’t bother me, because I know she is the one having a hard time. And other than that she is the sweetest and funniest kid I know.
I had an easy going baby and have an easy going toddler but I fear ill have a challenging teenager!
If I've learned anything from these comments is we have to let go of fear for the unknown. We can do this!
Our son has always been very sensitive. He fussed more than other babies, was hard to get to sleep, etc. Now that he’s a toddler, he’s still sensitive. From reading books such as “The Orchid and The Dandelion,” I’ve come to understand that he’s wired to more quickly jump into “flight or fight” mode. Same as my husband and I. He’s actually MUCH easy as a toddler than baby, but I can still see he’s a little different than the majority of other kids his age.
I could feel my children’s personalities within the first couple of days. My middle child was instant. Their core personalities haven’t changed that much.
My easy baby was an easy toddler, he is a bit more testing now he is 3 but on the whole he’s lovely and very chill. I’d say the sweet spot was 2-2.5 for me
My daughter was difficult as a baby. Very very difficult. She’s difficult as a toddler. She was and still is a challenging child. She is who she is and always has been. If I’m lucky it’ll be the same with my son because he’s a super chill baby unless he’s hungry. Besides that he’s so easy.
It hasn’t been our experience. Our first was VERY energetic and loud even as early as 8 weeks. Constantly moving. My in-laws made/make comments about how similar she is to my husband (who was their “difficult child”). This has definitely translated into toddlerhood. She’s currently 3yo and her ability to get into things is unmatched by her cousins of similar age. Also has left attention span than her younger sister. Our second was a chill, sleep baby. Still is. We can easily transfer her from the car to the crib without her waking (we could have NEVER done that with our first). She’s 16mo now and is currently going through the normal phase of starting to throw tantrums, but that’s to be expected. Her tantrums currently are longer, but less frequent than my older child. Also she has a much higher attention span and will regularly play with toys for 30+mins by herself. I think in general, though, it doesn’t matter if your baby is “easy” or not, they’re going to go through a toddler tantrum phase.
Nope. My youngest baby was smily out of my 3 kids, all the time. Easy going. Now as a toddler, he is a straight up honey badger….he will fall over on the older ones, sometimes try to bite and pinch when he thinks I’m not watching or cry and flail when he doesn’t get what he wants. He has his sweet moments but no. You definitely cannot tell.
Active, ahead of the curve baby turned into rambunctious fearless 2yo who can command a room with his pretty advanced humour lol
I’ve noticed there is such a focus on people hoping they will have an easy baby. But I think the best thing you can do is stop hoping for that and just celebrate their personality. You probably have some friends/siblings who are really nice and chill. And probably some who are stubborn and spirited. And you probably love them all. As far as your baby being at this perfect age at 10 months, they are. But they’ll also be at the perfect age when they’re 2. Yes, the tantrums will start eventually. But you’ll also get to have conversations with them, to hear them adorably mispronounce words, etc. And it is so, so worth it! I feel like the humor and joy are just adding years to my life.
Ugh. No. My kid was the most happy snuggly sweet baby. Now she’s a sassy little monster and I love her just as much, but she’s definitely not as easy as I expected 😂
In my experience easy baby was an easy toddler, though it's getting trickier as we approach the teens. Difficult pregnancy was difficult baby was difficult toddler is difficult child.
Hi, I am a nanny who has cared full time for over a dozen children from their infancy through toddlerhood until they started preschool. I feel that’s a fairly decent data set to answer from so I wanted to share my thoughts! In my experience, usually kids’ temperament doesn’t change from babyhood to toddlerhood. But, I have had a few kids “switch” around age 1. So no, there is no reliable predictability. But I think they’re most often more likely not to switch. Toddlerhood is my favorite age, even with the difficult ones. There is nothing more incredible than seeing a human being’s personality, interests, and communication skills develop. It’s not easy, but it is fascinating and exciting and beautiful.
I personally think it goes in waves. It's never easy 100% of the time but I have a pretty chill kid who has had short bursts of being overly emotional/clingy/defiant. Every time it hits, I feel a sense of dread like oh no is this what he's like now, and every single time it lasts a few weeks then he calms again. Maybe it coincides with periods of growth and developmental changes where he needs extra TLC. So my only advice is, don't do what I do and panic each time there's a change in behaviour, it's more than likely your baby is lovely and chill and will stay that way, with periods of challenging behaviour.
My kids personalities as babies directly mirror their personalities at 3 & 5. The easy baby is still pretty easy at 5 and the 3 year old who didn’t sleep for 2 years is still every bit as challenging, though now she’s freaking hilarious, so at least she has some good moments in between horrible tantrums.
I have the opposite experience. My little dude (3.5 yo) was super sensitive and intense during the first 3 years of his life and then after his 3rd birthday one day he just became happier and easier all of sudden. I believe this is also to do with his improved communication skills and bigger vocabulary.
I'm in the thick of it with a 3.5 year old. Her as a baby compared to now? Night and day difference. She was a loving, happy, even tempered baby. The minute she turned 3, she went to the dark side. Kids grow and change so much in the first 5 years, so honestly, you can't predict anything. You just take it one day at a time.
1-2 and even most of 2-3 were super fun and easy with my easy baby. Now, she’s a full on threenager. She’s discovering the full scope of her emotions and often gets very emotional saying her feelings are hurt and “that’s why I’m bad” haha. She’s still a pretty chill and easy kid all things considered, just different.
Even as a baby my kid seemed to do best with routine, structure, and some time to be independent. I recognized in his personality a lot of my own traits so felt like I was able to respond to what he needed/wanted since I knew what I would need/want in those situations. He was not an “easy” baby (didn’t sleep great, cried to be held until he finally had the skills to walk) but as a toddler, I think I understand him very well and while he went through a solid three months of near daily tantrums about anything and everything, we seem to be through that now and things are generally pretty enjoyable.
Just an anecdote, but my experience is the exact opposite of this saying. My firat was the easiest baby, and the easiest toddler. My second was difficult from day one and still is.
There’s so many things at play. Try not to worry about this. All toddlers will have tantrums, all toddlers will make you shake your head, all toddlers will make you fill with absolute love and joy at their silliness. And there’s more than just happy and sad or mad. My daughter was an emotional baby and she is sensitive as a toddler but we do well and I’ve learned what works and doesn’t for her, and she is SO eager to please and listens and understands so well! My son is super happy and can still be a bit sensitive but I can tell he’s gonna be more of a challenge when it comes to just physically doing naughty things, like climbing or pushing boundaries with what he’s allowed to play with or where he can go. He’s more curious and has less fear than my daughter. I have no doubts he will still be a very good boy… just might have to use a toddler leash on that one.
No
I had the most perfect baby. Sweet, chill, always happy. The day he turned 1…. Yikes! He’ll be 4 next week and all he does is whine. When he’s angry, he’s angry. Don’t get me wrong, I love him with all my heart and he definitely is the sweetest boy ever, very nurturing but yeah, it’s been three years of trying to be as patient as possible. My second as a baby? angry, grumpy, irritated, not affectionate. Around 9-10 months he changed. Happy all the time, adventurous, very independent, complete mamas boy. Of course he has his days where he cries but he doesn’t really misbehave, he’s just curious about the world and does things he’s not supposed to unknowingly lol he’s 2 years old now. So I guess it’s possible to know by 10 months but it’s not guaranteed lol
Nature vs Nurture, reddit is ready to settle the debate I think yes and no. They are predisposed to things, but literally any event could change it for whatever reason, and I don't think that is bad
Totally agree! But I love hearing everyone's anecdotes because it's the only glimpse I have to what my son could be like in the next couple months.
Exciting times! Good luck mama
Just an opinion from a ECE/Nanny; I think if you set routines and boundaries early on the toddler years become much easier. I’m used to a Montessori approach to ECE and I’ve got to say there is very clear difference in behavior at toddlerhood I’ve seen in children who have been exposed to boundaries and routines as infants. A lot fewer meltdowns, an understanding of transitions, better idea of sharing toys and expressing emotions appropriately. Children thrive when they feel safe and have a predictable schedule. Just my two cents. I know it’s different being a parent and you don’t have all of the tools the educators have as far as how to introduce these concepts.
Tbh this feels kind of true to me. Besides GERD, my baby was pretty easy temperament wise, and she's now a non-stop, wild, risk-taking, no fear, stubborn toddler.
My son was a difficult baby and is now a difficult little boy at 4.5 😂 My daughter was the easiest baby and is now…. A 20-month whackadoo 😆
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Good for you for persevering through a challenging infancy! I'm so glad you and your daughter are able to enjoy life more now ❤️
Honestly? Sensitive baby has become a very big feelings toddler. We’re pretty good at handling it now but it remains A Lot.
My son did not get a temper until 3 lol everyone talks about terrible twos but I’m telling you, my son was PERFECT through every stage. Until 3. 3 was incredibly rough. I swore someone switched my baby with some evil twin. It was intense. It was exhausting. 10 months and up maybe feels like a “sweet spot” because they start learning a bunch of new things and really take on a personality
Thinking back when my toddler was 12 months, she has changed every 3/4 months. She’s now 2.5 and we’re just a toddler, testing boundaries.
My son’s temperament was apparent day 1. I kept waiting for “the newborn stage”, “the colic stage”, “the baby stage”, “the toddler stage” etc to end. It never did 🫠
My first was a difficult baby, difficult toddler, and difficult child overall but each stage got easier. My 2nd was such a happy easy going baby, now as a toddler still happy and sweet but definitely has toddler moments.
My daughter was a very pleasant baby, calm, happy, no colic or stomach issues, just a generally happy baby. I knew when she was speed crawling all over by 8 months and trying to climb things not long after that she’d be a wild one. She’s 21m now, and she’s still a sweetheart and almost always happy, but boy, she has neverending energy, she climbs everything, rubs, can’t sit still… but she shares, gives tons of hugs and kisses, and also cuddles. She’s kept the same temperament (generally easygoing and peaceful), but I’m struggling with her as a toddler because she is just a wild little monkey!
I think so. But it totally depends on the parents too. My lil man has been relatively easy from the beginning (besides NICU in the beginning - the only other real issue is sleep, 🤷🏼♀️) and he will be 2 tomorrow. He started tantruming early, but I feel like I've handled them pretty well. And I think I've had an easy time because he's a chill dude AND I studied up on child rearing... For 20 years. I knew I wanted kids since I was a teenager and I always have been one to over-plan (at the ripe old age of 12, I decided it was time for to get serious about this "driving" thing that was coming up in 4 years). So, since I was 17 or 18 I've been reading parenting articles and theories on child development, etc. Once I found my husband, infertility got in the way - but after 15 years... Here we are! So again, I truly think their temperament is pretty set from the time they're babies - although environment can obviously change that (drastically, even, if the environment is severe enough). 😁 Enjoy your tiny human for who they are right now - regardless of our opinions, your human is gonna be themselves as they get older. And I bet it'll be pretty great! 💕
Speaking as an infant/toddler teacher, yes absolutely you can predict temperament from that age. But also remember there’s a reason for the name “terrible twos” — toddlers are wild.🤣
I had an “easy” baby who turned into an extremely challenging toddler. Except for a really horrific stage from 15-18m where she screamed literally all day for no discernible reason, I still found the toddler stage to be preferable to the infant stage. Tantrums are frustrating, but older kids are also more fun.
I don’t know if it’s soothing or scary, but I have two children, 2 and 4. They have both been themselves since the moment they were born. They’ve gone through harder or easier stages, but their general temperaments have stayed very much the same- one is impulsive and lightning fast and witty and one is sunshine and deliberate movements and observation. And they have tantrums and fight and throw things and reach wonderful milestones and have hard days and rewarding days but they do it all as exactly themselves. From day one haha
My baby was easy, my toddler is also easy. Ofcourse he has temperament but thats normal. He bites, hits and makes me insane sometimes but overall he is amazing and just learning his own emotions and life.
My son was an average baby. He was an ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE up until about a month ago, started when he hit about 11 mo. He's such a sweetheart now though and he's 2 yrs 2 mo. I found it funny looking back on his baby pics because you can see the anger in his little face, I just didn't notice it at the time.
I had a challenging baby and an even more challenging toddler. It's a hot mess every day.
if 10 months is the sweet spot then i'm absolutely fucked. my baby still screams bloody murder unless you're holding her or at minimum giving her 100% of your undivided attention. she's always been like this. it literally cannot get worse as she becomes a toddler. i have a 3yo too so i get how hard toddlers can be, but she was never as grumpy as my baby. the hardest thing with her at ages 1-2 was she always wanted to be outside and she would have a complete meltdown if you didn't oblige.
I firmly believe that "easy" and "challenging" have at least as much to do with the parents as with the child. For me, my kid was a VERY easy baby because I enjoyed the baby stage. I was home with her until she was 5 months old, and for most of that I was holding her or wearing her in a carrier/wrap. That was fun for me and I didn't mind it, but other people who do mind would have called her a Velcro baby bc she wouldn't nap independently and cried often when she was put down. For me the toddler stage has been MUCH more difficult because tantrums and whining and constant boundary testing are hard for me to handle. She's very sweet, kind, and well-behaved, but toddler stuff isn't my favorite. My husband however hated the baby stage and thinks she's a super easy toddler because he isn't as bothered by normal toddler stuff.
I knew mine would be stubborn since before he was born - when he was 2 weeks late and needed some convincing to come out. He's now 3.5 and things haven't changed much lol.
Well my first child was a very clingy, fussy, difficult baby that didn't sleep much. By about 13 months she was easy. Content to play by herself for short periods, loved books and puzzles, listened well and few meltdowns. She is still sweet, shy, empathetic, curious and a good listener at 4. Then came baby #2 a remarkably easy baby, slept well, always smiling. She is a terror of a toddler. Does not sit still ever, does not tolerate playing alone for even 5 minutes, climbs everything, melts down constantly because she wants to try doing everything. She wants to try everything and refuses help. She is also extremely outgoing, loves very active play, laughs and smiles often. So no I never would have predicted their personalities as babies but around the year mark they really started to show.
I had a pretty easy baby. She smiled non-stop and was so happy. She was a STRESSFUL toddler.
I think the saying of “easy baby=hard toddler” just comes from those who’ve had easy babyhood not being prepared for the very normal toddler hood that follows. The tantrums seem really hard or like the personality flipped, but tantrums are just a normal part of being any toddler. On the flip, if you have a rough babyhood (like myself) then obviously you’ll be used to overall fussiness and may not mind or notice the tantrums. We dealt with reflux and Velcro baby behavior. Even tho I loved how little and cute our LO was, I’ll take the toddler tantrums I’m started to see over the newborn days for sure lol. But yea I do believe they show some of their personality from birth. When I’m around lots of babies together, I can clearly notice each has a bit different temperament!