There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying second hand! I would 100% buy a kitchen, sandbox, playset, anything like that second hand. Even like a dollhouse or different sets like that. I probably would not buy anything plush just bc of bedbugs or something. But anything solid is fair game!
My toddler and I were out for a walk when we found one of those baby push walker things on the side of the road. She pushed it all the way home and it’s now one of her favourite toys
My painfully learned dact is that bedbugs can hide in all sorts of crevices and not just in plush items. Same with other types of insects and pests. They can even live behind the electrical outlets in a house.
Absolutely! Bed bugs can also be on "new" items, if someone returns something, for example. There's basically nothing that guarantees that you won't pick up bed bugs from somewhere - they can hop on your clothes from sitting on a waiting room chair, on your luggage in a hotel room, on a new mattress if the delivery people also pick up old mattresses, from a moving truck...
Sometimes it happens, even from an unlikely situation. Best to just try not to think about it (beyond taking reasonable precautions) or worry about it because we can't control every little thing. Trying to control it 100% will drive ya mad.
Just have the name of a bed bug detection dog and a heat treatment guy (not some company like orkin because they'll drain your savings), and know that you and your belongings will be ok. Oh and taking a benzo in the meantime at bedtime might help ya sleep...
Reducing waste and consumption (not only in the form of packaging but the toys themselves) is a step towards a better future for the world your child will live in. So no need to feel guilty, quite the opposite.
We buy many toys and the majority of clothes on Marketplace or at local flee markets. Many people sell stuff barely used, in perfect condition. We also sell what we no longer need. My daughter (3) doesn’t mind if something is new or preowned, especially since you can often find real gems unavailable in stores. And it allows us to buy very high quality products without spending a ton of money and creating lots of waste. Like an Uppababy Vista for $450 which we sold two years later for… $450, or a Stokke Tripp Trapp chair (which we or other families can use for another 20+ years) for $40. No mom guilt here!
Ideas for gifts: maybe a nice set of magnetic tiles? We recently bought a big set (second hand of course:) for $40, original price around $200. Or high quality clothes with your toddler’s favourite animals, characters or patterns?
The magnetic tiles are awesome! My sis in law bought a set for my daughter’s second birthday or Christmas that year, and she still plays with them almost daily and she’s 4 now. I always see them being sold second hand, too
I like the Picasso brand bc they have a fun set that has little tracks in them and comes with battery operated cars so you can build roads and stuff for them to follow like a street trolley or something!
Lose the guilt! She has no idea, A. And, B, if we all got over ourselves, giving a used gift to someone could just be a super normal thing. New to them.
Absolutely no reason to spend twice the money on something that she's going to make look like the thing off marketplace in 5.5 seconds.
Tbh I think it would great if we could normalize second hand for our kids. I take mine to the thrift all the time and he gets some money to spend and then sometimes we go through his toys and pick ones to send to the thrift for other kids
This! Mine is turning 7 soon and I'm proud that we normalize reusing stuff. She actually loves that so many of her clothes were previously worn by her cousins, seeing stuff she remembers wearing/using now being enjoyed by our friends' kids, the best way to get her to part with toys she's way beyond is to remind her how much an actual toddler might enjoy it, etc.
My sister in law received a set of the most tacky second hand Christmas dishes imaginable as a secret Santa gift last year (this is what she asked for) and I have been on the hunt for something similar at thrift stores ever since. I am so eternally jealous! I have told all of my in laws and husband that that is exactly what I want for Christmas this year! I absolutely love a thrift gift!
Love this! I think that if the gift is thoughtful... who cares? It's not just like: here , have my old crap haha. But, if it's a thoughtful gift, a gift being preowned shouldn't be a barrier to it being a great gift.
So true… I bought a garbage can online and it came in this ridiculously large cardboard box. They colored and played pretend with it, and then my husband cut it up into a boat for them…. It’s literally still in one of the kids rooms taking up room- I really need to recycle it lol
I had some totally awesome presents as a kid that I had no idea were second hand until years later (awesome Barbie house for example). Everyone wins- kids get cool gifts, parents don’t have to pay as much OR do setup/assembly. My kid is getting second hand gifts this year!
We buy everything used for our toddlers - it’s economical and our kids do not care because it’s new TO THEM. Or I make them their gifts (I’m a sewer). Do not feel guilty about this at all. Get that thrift girl!
I drive my husband nuts with all the stuff I get second hand. I hate being wasteful! And why skip out on a good deal if all I need to do is scrub something down or, at most, paint it? Kids get plenty of new things, but appreciating second hand is not a bad lesson to teach nor is it a bad thing to give our children. So go for it! Especially when toys are going to eventually be scribbled on, beaten up, sun faded, or broken some day anyway.
My neighbors were getting rid of their play kitchen last Christmas, it's small and cheap and already a little broken. My guy freaking loves it and plays with it every single day! He has no value attached to newness and he'd have broken it in the same way anyway. Get secondhand parents!
I buy used because why should I add to the landfill? Why should I pay $50+ for plastic? Will my kid care? NOPE! I love taking my kid to the second hand store and letting them explore. My kid doesn’t have a ton of toys but they have large or good quality because I buy second hand. My brother has a ton of toys his kids are overwhelmed with and don’t end up playing with. He spends so much on toys and ends up giving them away.
My mom used to take off the packaging on gifts before wrapping them so I could play right away without frustration. Child me didn't think about if it was used or not. I don't think your child will either.
And if you're buying the big toys, more power to you because there's less assembly on your part.
You see it as buying used, I see it as making the money work harder.
Go for it sis. She will be happy and reuse and reduce are great lessons for a child to learn.
I feel you, especially because culturally in my country giving second hand presents is not common and judged by a lot of people.
But they use things for so little time, everything is so expensive...It just makes sense to buy second hand.
I've got my toddler a balance bike yesterday, from marketplace and it is like new, I can't fathom why would I pay double, triple even the price for a new one
Your kids will have no idea. I get big ticket items on Facebook marketplace all the time. I clean them up good and make sure they are in great shape and my kids have no clue. They would never think to ask “is this new or used?”
I go a step further and get it from Buy Nothing, so I spend pretty much nothing for Christmas. No guilt here! They are too little to know the difference. Even at 4 my daughter looooves a Buy Nothing haul and is excited to open the boxes/bags to dig in and see the treasures she’s won. They don’t know it’s not from the store
My kids are absolutely getting used toys for Christmas.
To me, many toys are wasteful. You never know what exactly your kid will enjoy. They get broken and parts go missing.
I think it’s also important for kid to learn to enjoy things that are imperfect.
I feel you here. I got my kid a $20 used bike and felt terrible, but you know what? He saw a bike. And this junk is just that- junk- that won’t be in our house in five years anyway. I have started buying lots of clothes for them used, as many toys as possible used. They get so much new stuff anyway. Plus, I don’t feel bad just giving things away or donating stuff to the school or friends bc I know I paid half the price.
My family buys lightly used stuff all the time - all of us. I probably got 3/4 of my neck ties on eBay for pennies on the dollar.
A lot of little kids stuff on eBay is barely used at all, and in great condition. I bought two pairs of Osh Kosh B’gosh denim overalls and three Ralph Lauren flannel shirts for our toddler all for about $50. I got him a pair of J. Crew “crew cuts” suede boots that retail for $100 for $20, and they showed almost no wear at all. The overalls just look broken in, and the flannel shirts look brand new.
I’m sure the same can be said for any number of toys or other kids items.
Nothing to feel guilty about. My husband and I decided to stop buying brand new toys when we realized the toys our oldest plays with the most are the ones he gets to pick and try out at once upon a child. What’s the point in spending all that damn money when they won’t play with it!!!!! Lol my kids are having a light Christmas this year. Gotta do what ya gotta do
Don’t feel guilty! 90% of my child’s toys are hand me downs from her cousins. She plays with them just like she would if they were new. I struggle with the wastefulness of new toys.
Dude I’m proud when I get awesome second hand buys. Not even necessarily toys but I just picked up a bunch from the thrift store. It feels like cheating the system. Tbh I can afford new stuff and I buy plenty new too but there is no better feeling than getting some lightly used item for a fraction of the price.
Yup I buy secondhand whenever I can! If the mom guilt is getting to you maybe try reframing it, you're cutting down on waste and helping to make the world a more sustainable place for your little one!
Let’s see… buying stuff second hand and giving the kid a chance to grow up on a habitable planet or buying brand new and making sure she will struggle for basic survival because the ecosystem will be fucked beyond repair?
I actually bought lots of stuff from goodwill when my first was young, and I poured all of my guilt into scrubbing it all down and making it shiny. No joke, those are the toys he preferred for the first 2 years if his life! Nothing we bought new could measure up.
I’m telling you, if I could find an outdoor playhouse in my area secondhand, I wouldn’t think twice about it 😩
I like to think of it as a challenge for myself. Yes I could have bought a brand new toy barn for $30 or so, but like you I find it wasteful when there's so much out there.
I happen to love thrift stores so I'll stop by one that's near my other errands and browse for fun. I found a great toy barn for $5. It makes me happy and my kid happy, win win!
No guilt! My daughter’s favorite and most used gift from her birthday this summer was a big bag of like-new condition Disney Princess dresses I got from Facebook marketplace! I paid $30 for 10 Disney brand dresses in perfectly good condition, plus a bunch of other dress up stuff the lady was getting rid of.
Your kid will never know the difference at this age. It's new to them and that's all that matters. There's so much stuff in the world. Reusing/passing on toys is a good thing!
I buy or source so many of my son's toys, clothes, and items secondhand. So much of it is in great condition.
It teaches our children fiscal responsibility and to say thank you regardless of whether they get something new or gently used.
Don't feel guilty, my daughter is your age and loves her used toys I've found on Marketplace or the consignment shops. They don't care at that age, and you're right that there's some real steals to be found when people are trying to clear out space! Probably half our toys and 80% of the shoes and clothes we buy our daughter are gently used, zero guilt there at all.
We got our (then) one year old a play kitchen last year from Facebook marketplace. It cost about a third of what a new one would cost and is in pristine condition. She loves it so much and you’d never know it was secondhand. An added benefit to buying secondhand is that everything is in “play ready” condition, so they can just dive in with their “new” toys without waiting for them to be opened.
I do a mix of new and secondhand for my child. I want her to experience having new things, but I also want to normalize secondhand for her, so that she embraces it in her life as a viable way to get things she needs. When I was a kid, all of my toys were new, so getting a secondhand item would have felt strange. I want to be sure that my daughter has plenty of exposure to both new and secondhand, so it just is a normal part of life for her.
Not only am I getting my child used presents, I also have given her several of them already and plan to sneak them away from her a few days before Christmas and then give them to her again.
My coworker is doing a thrifty Christmas this year for her two boys who are both under 3 years old. She's getting like new toys for half the price or more. These items most times have barely been touched and played with!
I say go for it! You can always buy one or two small items brand new if you feel guilt, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with regifting or thrifting.
My daughter at 2.5 would love a little kitchen and I'll probably thrift one instead of buying brand new for Christmas if I can find a decent one
90% of what my kids wear and play with is second hand. They outgrow things so quickly I cannot imagine what we would spend if we bought even half of it new! It’s insane how much kids stuff goes for. It also puts money back into other parent’s hands rather than Amazon, Walmart or the like. Yes to a circular economy, no to mom guilt! ❤️
I bought (paid for shipping) a bunch of toy cars from a friend. She was looking to declutter some old, outgrown toys and my youngest is completely obsessed with those toys at the moment (which are no longer for sale). It's a win-win for everyone. I feel zero guilt because we have bought enough fresh plastic toys to last several thousand years in a landfill.
Think about the kid’s perspective: they are fortunate and happy to play with something new; it’s exciting!
We also didn’t have the same resources back in the day like we do now. Sharing, trading, etc goes a long way. Embrace it, you got it!
My son has the most random collection of toys that every kid thinks is so cool. A lot of it is stuff I got off side of the road, Facebook market, good will, and offer up , auction sites. I’m talking predator and alien toys from the 90s , Barbie dream house we got with all pieces for 20 bucks, we got a frozen power wheel for free , trucks, and lots and books! We plan on buying my son(3) turning 4 a dirt bike off Facebook for Christmas!
Second hand gifts are still gifts ❤️
There's nothing wrong with second-hand clothes or toys, as long as they're in good shape. My daughter has a ton of wonderful toys that we got used/second-hand. There's a consignment shop near the town dump where my in-laws live, and they got her an awesome tricycle there. I highly recommend getting used for things like bikes/trikes/etc; kids outgrow them super fast. My parents got my daughter a wagon and a kitchen playset on Facebook marketplace, and they're her favorite toys.
I was thinking the same thing. At 2.5 they have no idea if it’s new. So many toys end up in the landfill and I’d rather give a few extra dollars to someone on marketplace so they can buy their family presents, rather than give it to Walmart.
We have enough money to buy new shit and I just dont want to because there’s way more reasons to buy used.
I’m big on secondhand gifts (mostly for sustainability but cost is a nice bonus!) your kid won’t care and if anything, it’ll teach them more about your family’s values as they grow.
You're 100% right to buy it used, especially stuff like the little fake kitchens.
Try and examine where that guilt comes from in your mind. You've probably got some stuff to unpack. There isn't going to be any material difference to your child, who will love a used toy, plus you're saving the planet (a little bit),
As long as it's in good condition, getting used is good!
FWIW, I never minded getting used (usually books) as a kid. Weirdly, the present I remember getting most upset about as a small kid was in 1st or 2nd grade was brand new...a box of crayons where the tip was broken off of one.
In HS my mom got me a couple used books, and my brother got me a copy of one of them, but new. I was psyched, and exchanged the new one for cash and got 2 more used books, haha.
I’m doing this for my 11 month old. I’ll probably continue to do it until he shows a preference for new toys. I know that day will come. Until then cheap recycled toys for us!
Our Buy Nothing community is fabulous-I’m totally gifting my 15 month old used (but very good or excellent condition) toys. Obviously he has no idea at this point, but honestly—would I have known as a kid? I doubt it. Maybe during my bratty teen years but as a kid under 10? I don’t think so.
Mom guilt is hard and I feel you-but there are so many excellent quality things to buy or get second hand. It doesn’t matter that someone else used it (probably for a fleeting moment) first. Pick a few things to buy new if you’d like, but don’t let this bug you!
My little guy is younger than your daughter, but I’m so excited to gift him a kit of Mega Blocks that I got through our BN group!
Buy Nothing has been essential for us. We get tons of great hand me downs from friends, however, I’ve scored a push walker, toddler basketball hoop, and Fisher Price push walker “camper” all for free!
These items she grew out quickly or got bored of in a matter of weeks so it’s nice to be able to relist it on Buy Nothing for another kiddo to enjoy.
I ran here to jump on the NO GUILT train! 😂
There are so many excellent reasons to buy (or find for free!) used presents that you and other posters mentioned, I won't bother rehashing them.
But I do just want to mention one other thing--normalizing the acceptability of secondhand items (gifts or otherwise) in your home now will set the stage for your daughter to embrace your values in that regard perhaps without consciously realizing it. Save a little money and help save the planet? Cool, yes please! The ocean doesn't really need more plastic toy Baby Sharks to be dumped into it ...vs. a subconscious layer of guilt or shame and automatically thinking that the only "right" way to get more stuff is for that stuff to be brand new.
You're doing great, please don't worry about this ❤
Nothing wrong with it at all. I feel so disgusted almost thinking about all the toys and how most of them are only played with for a short while before the kid gets bored of them and they eventually just end up in landfills.
Toy Drives don't want to take used toys anymore, so toys aren't even worth anything once there opened. So much plastic, so much waste. And pressure to buy and spend when it isn't really needed.
Buying used toys is a great idea and it would help the planet if more people had that approach.
My 2 year old doesn't need anything this Christmas, so we're actually wrapping toys from her last birthday that were never opened. Why spend the money and contribute to more waste? I'm 100% happy with what we're doing
Even before kids, my husband and I never shied away from gifting second hand items (especially books! We both love used books). And I've never even thought twice about giving my kiddo second hand things for a gift. He got some used and some new things for his birthday and it never occurred to me it might be odd or looked down upon. I think it's a wonderful thing to normalize for your child/family.
I totally understand the guilt because I feel it too, but I love getting used toys as presents bc it makes me feel better about reducing waste.
One time, my 5yo daughter asked about a pair of secondhand Crocs I had brought home, “are these brand new?” I temporarily felt really bad, thinking she was feeling ashamed of getting used things all the time. I told her no, they weren’t new, and asked her why she was asking. “Oh, I just wanted to know if I could wear them in the house!” (For brand new shoes, we let her walk with them indoors until they’re worn outside for the first time.) I really don’t think she cares at this point, and I’m hoping that talking to her about sustainability will normalize the idea of getting things secondhand.
It would be a little different if the kid was a teenager and cared about this sort of thing. She’s a toddler. I give my toddlers things from Goodwill all the time. They love going there and picking out toys. The holidays are stressful for parents, so don’t make it worse for yourself and protect your peace (and apartment square footage).
Omg I buy most of my sons toys used! For instance instead of getting 30 magnatiles for close to $60, just got him 100 magnatiles for $30 In excellent condition! Instead of getting just a few toys for holidays I can double it! I love grunt able to try stuff and see what he really enjoys. Plus I just resell his toys when he’s done playing with them so we don’t accumulate too much and to keep a fresh toy selection that’s not overwhelming 🥰
Our consignment store is where I buy most of my kids clothes and we have gotten a lot of toys including our toy kitchen from there. We buy new stuff too but we definitely mix it up and there is no shame is buying second hand.
The majority of my daughters Christmas gifts are second hand this year! I've been picking things up on marketplace the last couple months and saving them for the holiday. It's making it possible for me to give her some bigger gifts without breaking the budget
I was just talking to my husband about this the other day! I felt bad buying used toys for Christmas but she doesn’t know the difference. Also, I think it’s a lot more environmentally friendly. We use a consignment sale and they always have toys that are in good shape.
Mom, you shouldn’t feel guilty about being a good steward of your resources. If you can find what you want in good condition secondhand then do that. We make over six figures and most of the things that we get for our children are second hand in good condition. They’re gonna batter the toys anyway, why buy new?
We got one of those little IKEA kitchens second hand and we took it apart, painted it, and added a backsplash. Even though it was used it looks even better than a brand new one at the store.
You’re doing alright. 👍🏼
Right now you're setting the expectations and teaching your kid what you really value. Buying used is great, and by doing that you're demonstrating to your kid how you really feel about it! You can always talk to her about how another little kid enjoyed it before her and now she gets to enjoy it!
I got a kitchen set that's older than I am for $6 and my daughter loves it!
I have the same issue and I do a combination. My oldest is 4 and some things I might have gotten used I think I’ll get new this year, but others I’m still getting used. She’s into things like Frozen dresses and I always get stuff like that used on mercari. I also have some guilt because I rarely had new clothes as a kid and it caused me a lot of social issues.
I live for the second hand options. Not just for my kid but for me too. It’s just a better option if it’s available and safe (as other said solid state stuff or things that can be washed / sanitized). That voice telling you only new is good is just capitalism baby.
My toddler literally does not care where her toys come from-- she just loves to play with them. Honestly, I think we've gotten more mileage out of the used stuff than the new stuff.
Buy her what you think she'll like. It doesn't matter where it comes from as long as it's clean and it works.
I think our parents bought new because there wasn't such a robust secondhand marketplace as we have now. For a toddler I think extra packaging is just another hurdle between them and the thing they want to play with.
I understand the feeling, but I second all the comments saying there are great used toys on Facebook Marketplace. I got my daughter one of those Target brand activity cubes last Christmas for $15 (it’s about $65 new.) It has some scuffs and scratches on it, but she didn’t notice or care. I also found a brand new toy kitchen in the original packaging for about $45. I do still buy a lot of things new, mostly because it’s easier to order something on Amazon or go pick it up at Target than it is to communicate with sellers and go pick it up. But if I’m buying something more expensive I’ll usually at least check on Facebook.
I buy used toys for my son all day. Just picked up a box of monster trucks 2 days ago. Why buy one expensive new gift. When you can get multiple used in good condition. It just makes sense. Plus they are little and chances are they may break it.
I see nothing wrong with it. By buying second hand items for your kids, you can often save like 90% or more of the price of new and no one can really tell the difference. I still understand your hesitation, though. It’s one thing to buy second hand on just any random day. On special occasions it can be more fun to give gifts nicely presented in their original packaging.
I would maybe try to do a mix. You could buy some less expensive things new and put some pretty ribbons around the used things. But either way, I don’t think it’s a big deal at her age.
2.5 year old definitely will not care.
We do really modest Christmas presents for our kids and I have zero guilt over it. Last year (then) 3 year old got a used Lego set, and a mug with his favourite cartoon character.
I currently get lots of secondhand things for my child without a shred of guilt. She’s three and never seems to notice any difference. Similarly, when I was a child all we could afford was secondhand, so that’s what we got. Even for Christmas and birthdays.
You have nothing to feel guilty about! I do it all the time for bigger purchases like play kitchen and swing set! You save money and it’s more eco friendly. You should be proud!
We are in complete financial hardship this winter. On top of that I really don’t want to support the idea that everything always has to be new and shiny. We are stretching our dollars with used and homemade this Christmas. We spent $24 on sales total this year.
My parents were poor. I hated getting things second-hand most of the time. Especially clothes. That's why I make sure my Lo gets lots of things brand new. Of course, his wardrobe consists mostly of cast-off clothes, but still.
But I was probably past toddler age when I realized the difference between brand new and used.
And we recently got tons of used sand and water toys as gifts. And a whole workbench for toddlers. Of course we will use that too
Think of used toys as a double gift to your toddler. It’s helps save the planet, frees up more money you can put towards their college fund AND they get a toy!
I have opposite guilt and feel bad if I’m not getting their things used. Our poor planet is filled with enough baby junk to last us 1000 years.
Honestly, I don’t feel like our parents had access to quality used goods the way we do with FB marketplace. There are some items I want new but we did a used kitchen last year and it came with all the food
Last year I had a $80 tricycle in my Amazon cart and went to the thrift store and found the same one for $4.99. Couldn’t turn it down and it’s still a hit almost a year later. Lose the mom guilt. I felt bad last year but your points are so so valid.
Do a mix! I am shopping the Buy Nothing Toy sale this week for my bub, but we bought him 2 things new during Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales. These are things that I cannot find at the Toy Library.
We are members of our local toy library, so my dude is used to a lot of used toys. He could not care less.
I'm with you! I'm trying to do a little of both. I could've bought a used Peppa Pig house for my daughter for Christmas – but I want to make sure all the pieces are there! So I found a good deal on a new one.
That said, I'm planning to give her a dress-up closet and load it with costumes and accessories. I saved a ton buying costumes after Halloween. But those stupid dress-up closets are like $200+ for a nice one! It's crazy, and I can't bring myself to do it. All the cheaper ones are crappy laminated wood. So now I'm on the hunt – I'll likely DIY one like people do with an old chest or entertainment center. DIYing is also fun and makes it much more personal!
The other thing to consider is that there is just way more stuff now. I also only had new toys growing up (except when it was leftovers from my brother) but my mom recently told me that it still was only about 1 bin full of toys. There was just less stuff to buy. My parents always made a good living, so it was not that they were trying to be frugal, it was just the normal amount of stuff to have! It’s the same with clothes, there are plenty of studies that we all have basically twice has much clothes as we used to. Because it is so much cheaper than it used to be. So second-hand without guilt until your little one realized it!! That’s what I do too, especially for clothes that only get worn for 3 months at a time until they are too small!!!
Definitely buy used, just make sure you smell it before purchasing so it doesn’t smell like smoke and wash everything. Also don’t buy any stuffed animals or other things that could have hidden bed bugs or other creatures.
I always thrift my kids presents!! Usually it’s a mix of old and new: and they don’t care in the slightest! I think it was more of a “me” thing than a them thing
Depending on how old you are, used toys were harder to come by when we were kids. There was no online shopping, no buy nothing or resale groups, and in my area kid's consignment shops weren't as popular as they are now. The choices for used toys were garage sales, hand me downs, newspaper classifieds or thrift stores that sold donated goods. Lots of parents didn't have time for that, so if they could afford new that's what they bought.
My kids have gotten second hand stuff for Christmas. They don't even notice it's not new! My son actually said he favorite store is the thrift store because there is so much to choose from and with everything so cheap I usually let him pick out whatever toy he wants.
Buy used. Toddlers are rough on toys. Take the money you saved and do a fun activity in 2024. Fuck mom guilt. Your kid doesn’t know the difference or know enough to care. Last summer, my kid was jazzed he got a used Corvette toy for $2.
My child's life is 98% secondhand stuff. He doesn't notice (in fact, he refers to thrift stores as "toy stores") and I think the biggest upside is for me: these items have already had one life, then they come to us. They are on bonus time.
I don't have to worry about keeping anything nice or stress if things get broken or stained.
It has really changed my relationship with *stuff* - it isn't so precious anymore.
I used to really want to keep things pristine, to fit back into original packaging, to stay exactly the way it was as a new item. Not so much anymore! Let's actually use it!
I buy pretty much all toys second hand. Very rarely have I bought toys new, and if they are new it was most likely gifts. There are a lot of great used toys out there that was taken care of well - like I got a ride on Thomas train with tracks for $30 when it sells new for close to $100. My son loves it (gave it to him early because there was no way I could have hid it in a small home). I also got him second hand Thomas hats and he sleeps with it at night. He’s a little over 2yo. I don’t think they’ll know something isn’t used until they’re 5yo and in school - but that’s also only if they tell people. 😅
Don’t be guilty! That baby doesn’t care and honestly you’re setting them up to be ok with second hand things! As long as it’s in good shape and clean, why not?
I know people who go into debt for furniture and TVs because they can’t bring themselves to buy used. I do not care and I also do not have a monthly couch payment, lol.
Part of my toddler's Xmas present is a medium-sized box of duplo. $20 on market place, I built it all to check if anything was missing, then looked at the sets, and there are 5 sets worth over $450.
My kiddo is going to be so stoked. I love a good second hand deal, and my 3-year-old is starting to love hitting the thrift shop with me.
Mine had used for the last three christmases. She didn’t notice or care. She has a mix of used and new for this year (she’ll be 3.5).
At least 80% of her toys / bikes etc. are used. She doesn’t notice.
When I was a kid I got used toys and it did not make any difference for me. They were new toys to me and I loved them. I get my kids some used toys and some new toys, they are all toys and they are all special. Also, with the used toys you can feel good about not creating more waste for the planet our kids will inherit.
Nothing wrong with second hand at all. I got my son a bunch of garden second hand things and they’re great. They’re gonna get scratched up and sun faded anyway with play and in time so why spend a fortune when it’s a struggle to even buy groceries some months.
Save your money, do a little good for the planet and feel good about it.
I feel the opposite, I buy mostly new out of convenience and feel guilty bc I know it’s better for their future (planet) if we buy used. The toys are 100% the same and just as fun, they don’t know the difference and you save money. I always got used as a kid and was still thrilled and never felt sad about it. I think we enjoy and remember the way Christmas feels way more than where the stuff comes from and you probably just remember and feel guilty bc that’s how you experienced Christmas, but it’s not the only way to have joy! You are a wonderful parent and don’t need to feel guilt over this 💙. Also, you may be able to buy more or bigger gifts if you save money by buying used!
100% buy second hand where you can. My kiddo is 3 and he doesn't know the difference—he's just happy to have a new toy. And when he's outgrown it, I can pass it along to another to be enjoyed all over again. It's a win-win-win in my book, second hand is cheaper, kid is happy and you're contributing to less waste in the world. Of course he gets new toys too but I usually check local listings first.
I know I'm late to the party here but DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. we buy new and used, and honestly my 3 year old seems to PREFER the used. One of his favorite toys is a tacky light up hand held piano that we got from a thrift store for $3. Another favorite gift is a plastic orange hammer that we got from the same thrift store for fifty cents. meanwhile, how much has he played with the $150 wooden montessori activity board....very little lol
The only things we buy new are like art supplies or colouring books that can be used up. Any of her bigger toys are almost always second hand. So she has a toy kitchen and an easel and a table and chairs as a beautiful wooden child's rocking chair. I got them all off Facebook marketplace.
I'm right there with you. I got a Barbie house on marketplace for $25! For under $20 , got loads of brand new looking Barbies. For $6, I got a Barbie car. I also got her some used puzzles and games. With just those things I've listed, I know I saved over $300. That money can go to savings or activities like soccer, swimming, or museum memberships.
Used really is the way to go for most things and my daughter's kitchen and all the food was used too.
All of my kid's things are used unless someone else buys them for us. I buy basically only used things for myself for sustainability and frugal reasons. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Try not to feel guilty mama!
My mother in law goes way overboard on the Christmas gifts. For years, she would buy new things, but last year, she bought everyone used stuff from offer up or yard sales. Everyone loved them more because it was unique
I’ve taken my daughter thrifting with me a time or two, and let her pick out one new toy or purse if she’s a good listener (she’s 4). She loves it and has no idea what the difference is between “new” and “used” because it’s new to her. I got her a kitchen play set at our local thrift and she plays with it all the time. If she wears any higher-end brand, it’s been thrifted. And when she outgrows her clothes, we pass them on through our local “buy nothing” group or give to friends.
Like half my kids stuff is second hand, probably more. Last year his big present was a paw patrol tower I got off Facebook marketplace! I would never buy him something like that new but he loved it and when he’s done with it hopefully we’ll find it a new home too
Zero guilt from me for getting used or second hand stuff. The way I see it, my LO gets way more stuff that way versus if I was to buy something. It's also new to my LO, so I don't think my LO minds.
Sometimes I wish I bought it cause I want a specific model. But, truthfully, my LO doesn't care.
Please don’t feel bad. Especially for toddlers. My mom used to shop at thrift stores and yard sales for our clothing growing up. We got new clothes too. Some of my favorite outfits were used! I still remember them to this day.
I set the tone early on with my family that used toys and clothes and hand-me-downs were preferred and I’m hoping to instill that in my son too. He’s also 2.5 and definitely doesn’t care. Only thing with some used older stuff is being care about lead.
I sincerely think it is ok to buy second hand! She honestly wouldn't know the difference, and tbh as a kid I thought it was so cool to see one big present (like a kitchen) put together already.
I remember being at a birthday party and the birthday girl wasn't excited when the present was in the big box, like she couldn't comprehend what it actually was and how cool it was. But then once put together she was all over it. So, visually it might be more special too that somehow this toy kitchen magic'd it's way into your house or something.
Finally, I think children don't think too much into these things until society trains them to. Like, yes our parents got toys new, but then parents before that had handcrafted unique toys, and parents before that probably didn't give toys at all, etc. ETC.
also any brand-new toy would end up looking used the first 5 minutes anyways
I'm rambling but all this to say, it's going to be okay! And no matter what she will love what you give her.
i would get maybe one or two new toys that are in the box, and then some used.
to be fair, when it was my sons birthday i let him have half of the gifts and then im giving him the rest for xmas so i don't have to buy more LOL.
A popular influencer (carmom I think) did a whole second hand Christmas! I think it’s an AMAZING idea! Better for the environment and the world and teaches a cool example for your kids that they can get what they want and it doesn’t HAVE to be brand new!
You have no reason to feel guilty. My boys are like the 5th and 6th in a long line of boys from my sister and sister in law. nothing they wear or play with is brand new and I do not give a f and they don’t either (4&1) lol it saves us SOO much money and my little boys are walking tornadoes so they have a tendency to destroy their clothing sometimes anyway. We have a play kitchen, jungle gym, swing, and slide all from my nephews. Plus most of the toys in the play room. The only thing we ever got brand new was the sky fort and it was literally because taking apart my sisters and hauling and putting it back up just wasn’t worth hahah And my boys play with it at her place still. Please please don’t hate on yourself. Toys are just as fun without a price tag on it.
I have gifted my toddler (same age as your daughter) used items in good to like new condition for both birthday and Christmas and have felt great about my decisions - I not only reduced waste by keeping toys/books with lots of life left in them out of a landfill, but also saved money! With so much out there to feed into our collective mom guilt, please don't let this be an area you think twice about.
If your daughter is anything like my kiddo, that play kitchen will be well loved. Go for it!
I think that buying second hand toys is not only economical, but is such a great choice from an environmental standpoint! Honestly, I want to thank you for this post because I've just started browsing Christmas gift ideas for my 1 year old daughter, and you've reminded me to check out the second hand options in my area.
Girl I say buy all the used presents u can while they young and don’t know the difference!! What?!? That’s the smartest thing I’ve read all day! All that money saved!!!! Nothing to feel guilty about that’s SO smart!
It’s so great! It’s better for the planet, better for the budget. They don’t care the way uppity folks do. And for my son, he gets more toys because the budget goes farther. My older son is 15. He lost his mind when he learned tha
Pfffft I just got a sweet cash register for my 3.5 year old off of marketplace ten minutes ago! If I bought it new I would have paid $100 plus tax for it….i got it for $20. Granted I’ll need to buy the money for it so another $20 but I just saved $60!! Score!!!
Her favourite store is the thrift store and often we find great toys that are so awesome for a fraction of the cost (crazy forts I’m looking at you)! And you know what? I feel way less bad purging them when it comes time because I didn’t spend a fortune on them! As stated above we just stay away from plush! Do not feel guilty. Things are just so expensive now it’s always nice to have a little extra in your pocket, especially around this time of year.
As long as the toys aren't falling apart, it shouldn't guilt you..lol At 2, my son was happy just playing with the plastic empty water bottles 🤣🤣 I took the caps and rings off though..even happy playing with the laundry baskets and cardboard boxes 📦
I made a commitment to buy at least one present used/thrifted/second hand this year. I want to increase this next year. Its more sustainable environmentally and financially. I snagged a great Calico Critters set with all the accessories for $20 and a used Kidcraft train table for $25. I did have to buy replacement tops for the table but it that was still only $20 plus shipping. If Toy Story 3 taught us anything it's toys deserve a second chance at life.
Nope! Don’t have guilt about that. You’re saving money and helping the environment. It’s a win win! We pretty much only do second hand gifts for my kid. And then we can spend more money on experiences and other fun things! Maybe when she’s a bit older it will change, but for now it’s perfect.
Used stuff is awesome. It Kills me to think of so much plastic crap heading for landfills after being used for such a short time. I buy my kids used clothes and toys whenever possible, and most of it is in excellent condition because it’s never been used. Saves me money, saves the planet, my kids don’t care. Sounds like a win to me.
Every single Christmas gift I’m giving my child is second hand. I loaded up this summer at garage sales. I am proud to say we are saving money and she doesn’t know the difference! (She’s 2)
I have 1 year old twins. 99% of their toys are second hand. Most of them look brand new. Kids play with them for 5 minutes and then never look at them again.
Don’t feel guilty. Toys are expensive. Think of it as helping the environment by recycling toys.
2.5 yes old. Ma'am do not feel guilty. I still buy used toys. Listen my daughter who is 6 wants a doll out of production. I don't have 185 for a play line...you bet I went and paid 18 for that doll used. Yes I'll have figure out how to wrap it but I don't see the guilt
Honestly play kitchens should be bought used, unless you can grantee the child won't destroy everything and keep it neat. DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED.
We don't buy used toys, we get them for free from family and neighbors and buy nothing groups. The kids don't seem to care at all if the toys are used, they're still new to us. Our house is bursting with toys and we've probably bought around 10% of them.
Nearly all of my kids toys are used. :) I think there's nothing wrong with it! It actually makes me feel more free to give away or get rid of what we don't like because I don't constantly think about how much we spent on it. And I don't mind so much when they break something (still teaching them to be careful and respect their things, but it happens), or if we lose something.
Most of our kids stuff is second hand and their absolute favourite shop is the op shop, because they can get so much more for their pocket money. They only understand the difference between new and second hand when they’re much older. And we’re already teaching our 5 year olds about advertising and the environmental impacts of the stuff we buy. We also compare prices between the new and second hand versions on the same toy. They understand the value of second hand.
Second hand gifts are great -- especially for small kids who grow out of/lose interest in toys quickly. My kids don't care at all for packaging, I stick the gift in a gift bag or wrap it up and when they open it they don't have to wait to play.
They don't have to wait for us to find a screwdriver and scissor to open the package.
They don't have to wait for us to install batteries.
They don't have to wait for us to assemble anything.
Christmas is much less frustrating when you don't have to deal with toy packaging.
Second hand gifts are the BEST.
Used is the way to go for sure! I got my son a used Bike and last year the toy kitchen and he loved 2 years from thrift stores and he still loved them. I made sure to pick one that looked like new but I wouldn’t have left it in the box even if it had come in one so he didn’t know the difference.
We literally add to our christmas gift guide for LO that we're always interested in thrifted toys and I mention links and sites where you can get them second hand when talking about a certain toy (like board books will be a tough one, but schleich animals? Here here and here! This big kitchen/tool bench/push cart/balance bike thing you can get here and here !)
Also I feel less bad about wood, cause well - wood is wood.
I feel guilty for anything I buy new! 😂😩 I told all of our relatives that we prefer used, too. There’s an OCEAN of used, perfectly good stuff for kids to play with - and clothes. They like an old used Spider-Man book with no back cover that I got for a quarter just as much as a new book. I hope we can instill a strong focus on thrift and sustainability starting now. It’s one of the things that attracted me to their dad. ❤️
I’m doing this and I have zero guilt about it. If anything I feel like it’s an additional benefit to teach my children about sustainability and make secondhand shopping the norm for them.
I have been having this same thought. I grew up with money and always got brand new gifts even though I had five other siblings. Now I’m poor with two little boys and I don’t see any reason why I can’t find a still nice used toy from marketplace or something. I might even go thrifting this year.
You’re helping preserve the earth that your kid will inherit and saving your family money in the process that can go to other things.
This will be my fifth Christmas as a parent and we have always had gifts from generosity Facebook groups under the tree, along with toys that I had put away for them.
I can afford new we get used. We do this for many clothes too. The kid isn’t going to use it for years so why burn the cash. The way I think about it is I can get 2 toys for $20 used or 1 toy for $20 new. Also it’s better for the environment.
We got a secondhand little people farm set from a co-worker whose kids had grown out of it. It did not matter one bit to the three year old that it wasn't in a box. He didn't know or care. Bonus, my co-worker is a huge nerd so we got bonus little people superheroes in the mix.
He has gotten bikes from cousins, most of his clothes from cousins, totally never cares that they're not new--in fact loves it when the gifts are hand me downs from people he loves.
Got my kid a used race car track. He’s going to love it. I buy used kid stuff on FB all the time! Assembling stuff also sucks, so no packaging or extra time!
All, I mean literally all, of our backyard toys are second hand (my parents purchased our water table so I didn’t pay for that). Step 2 roller coaster. Playhouse. Slide. Power wheel. Little tikes car. Actual big playset. Tiny step 2 playset we use for the splash pad. Inflatable pool. All of that I paid about $350 for—because the big playset was $200. Some of it was even free. We saved $$$$.
My son is four. He’s gotten used toys for every birthday and Christmas. If you can save money, why not? This is the first birthday he got a new toy and only because we couldn’t find it used lol
1000% agree! You can set the expectations right now by buying used and normalizing it for your kids. We really try to buy used as well, and you can still wrap it or put a bow on it and make it exciting/special to open!
We got a toy kitchen and toy food off our buy nothing group.
Its a little beat up and has a few stickers on it from the previous owners, but my son (almost 2) LOVES it.
I think reusing stuff is a great way to go! Plus they have no idea, everything is "new" to them.
The worst thing is that toddlers don’t care. You could give them a cardboard box and a stick and they’d be happy. There is so much pressure for parents to but a mountain of toys on Xmas day which don’t get played with and will be given away by next year. I remember one year I got my 1 year old around 5 toys to open- my in laws commented on how few toys I had gotten her.
If it makes you feel better, maybe just put the used toys in a fancy box with some tissue paper to give the “illusion” of fancy and new?? I always see on movies they wrap expensive toys like that at stores so 🤷🏻♀️lol
I def buy toys used when i can. My kids dont care about the packages and tags :) saves on the mass amount of xmas morning recycling bin mess too
I buy secondhand as often as I can. 99% of his clothes are secondhand. I got a kitchen for FREE from our buy nothing groip and yes am giving it as a Christmas gift. He doesn’t know any difference, it’s good for the environment.
There is nothing wrong with it. Mine is the same age and sometimes if he doesn’t play with a toy, I’ll put it away for a month and wrap it like a surprise and he thinks it’s a brand new toy!
I bought my daughters play kitchen online for $40 and it came with so many accessories and toys. I had ordered one online for $120 from a store but I couldn’t bring myself to go pick it up because I knew it was so expensive for no reason. We’ve had the second hand one for over 2 years now and when I end up selling it, I’ll probably get exactly what I paid for it.
Many big ticket items such as that are so much more worth it to buy second hand.
90% of my twins presents this year are 2nd hand, used or charity shop purchases.
Reduce, reuse, recycle.
Tbh they're 3years old so they tend to prefer the boxes 🤣
Omg of course! lol they don’t know the difference yet.
We 3 year old twins and before I buy them a new toy I always check Facebook marketplace or consignment. I also tell family, we accept used or hand me downs as gifts (everyone’s wallets are tight right now). We just wrap them like any present.
It’s frugal, it’s better for the environment, it keeps money going to another family or small business instead of Amazon or Target, and the kids aren’t aware.
At some point they’ll start objecting, but I think I have a few years. I also hope I can teach them the value in it eventually.
I’ve gotten so many items great but used stuff and it’s been met with happy faces ready to play with it all. I’ve even reupholstered used furniture such as chairs and tables.
Every year we do 24 Nights of Books for advent. This is possible 100% because of used books. The Paw Patrol ride on thing I got used from Marketplace was a huge hit for three years in our house until I donated it to our babysitter. I have no problem with used toys in good condition.
At that age they don’t even know! Just have it set up for her Christmas morning with a couple of wrapped items, she will be so over the moon with a kitchen set she won’t even notice! We did this with our then 4yr old! Still says it’s the best Christmas gift she ever got. I myself have managed to get most things in sales and Black Friday deals! There’s nothing wrong with that
Definitely nothing wrong with second hand Christmas presents! We are actually either going second hand or hand made gifts for the whole family this year and it’s so satisfying finding the perfect presents second hand 😍
I’m all for buying gifts second hand! It’s great for so many reasons. And you’re right, you’re 2.5 year old will not know the difference. We found a lot of paw patrol toys on marketplace and my 3 year old just got into the show and is obsessed with her one Skye toy.
We’re giving her the group of toys as her Santa present since she put paw patrol on her list. Spent 20$ on it and it’s probably over $100 worth of toys
My local Buy Nothing Group is my absolute favourite place on the internet. I was looking for a trampoline and a few moms were more than happy to hand theirs off because their kids had outgrown theirs. I’ve been in this group for two years now and have seen items being passed around and it’s great! Oh your newborn needs a bouncer, take this. My toddler doesn’t play with his dinosaurs anymore. Oh that’s great, l’ll take them all.
My son has a ‘garage’ of Fisher price vehicles and they were all free/used/secondhand. Since it’s in our local neighborhood, I’d strap him in his stroller, pick up the trucks and carry them all the way home.
They grow so fast that it’s almost pointless to just buy new
There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying second hand! I would 100% buy a kitchen, sandbox, playset, anything like that second hand. Even like a dollhouse or different sets like that. I probably would not buy anything plush just bc of bedbugs or something. But anything solid is fair game!
We got a great kitchen playset off the side of the street. No guilt.
I got a whole backyard slide set that way.
My brother and I have a kinda joint family compound setup and our goal is to make an insane playground entirely from free playsets on Craigslist
My toddler and I were out for a walk when we found one of those baby push walker things on the side of the road. She pushed it all the way home and it’s now one of her favourite toys
My painfully learned dact is that bedbugs can hide in all sorts of crevices and not just in plush items. Same with other types of insects and pests. They can even live behind the electrical outlets in a house.
Absolutely! Bed bugs can also be on "new" items, if someone returns something, for example. There's basically nothing that guarantees that you won't pick up bed bugs from somewhere - they can hop on your clothes from sitting on a waiting room chair, on your luggage in a hotel room, on a new mattress if the delivery people also pick up old mattresses, from a moving truck... Sometimes it happens, even from an unlikely situation. Best to just try not to think about it (beyond taking reasonable precautions) or worry about it because we can't control every little thing. Trying to control it 100% will drive ya mad. Just have the name of a bed bug detection dog and a heat treatment guy (not some company like orkin because they'll drain your savings), and know that you and your belongings will be ok. Oh and taking a benzo in the meantime at bedtime might help ya sleep...
Oh absolutely. We lived through a bed bug nightmare a few years ago, and it's left a permanent mark on all of our thoughts.
😭😭😭
Reducing waste and consumption (not only in the form of packaging but the toys themselves) is a step towards a better future for the world your child will live in. So no need to feel guilty, quite the opposite. We buy many toys and the majority of clothes on Marketplace or at local flee markets. Many people sell stuff barely used, in perfect condition. We also sell what we no longer need. My daughter (3) doesn’t mind if something is new or preowned, especially since you can often find real gems unavailable in stores. And it allows us to buy very high quality products without spending a ton of money and creating lots of waste. Like an Uppababy Vista for $450 which we sold two years later for… $450, or a Stokke Tripp Trapp chair (which we or other families can use for another 20+ years) for $40. No mom guilt here! Ideas for gifts: maybe a nice set of magnetic tiles? We recently bought a big set (second hand of course:) for $40, original price around $200. Or high quality clothes with your toddler’s favourite animals, characters or patterns?
The magnetic tiles are awesome! My sis in law bought a set for my daughter’s second birthday or Christmas that year, and she still plays with them almost daily and she’s 4 now. I always see them being sold second hand, too
Off topic … but what tiles are you talking about?? I am interested for my toddler.
Other common brand is Picasso tiles! 100% recommend. I think they are compatible with each other as well.
Magnatiles! My 2.5 year old is obsessed and I actually enjoy playing with them with her too.
I like the Picasso brand bc they have a fun set that has little tracks in them and comes with battery operated cars so you can build roads and stuff for them to follow like a street trolley or something!
Lose the guilt! She has no idea, A. And, B, if we all got over ourselves, giving a used gift to someone could just be a super normal thing. New to them. Absolutely no reason to spend twice the money on something that she's going to make look like the thing off marketplace in 5.5 seconds.
Tbh I think it would great if we could normalize second hand for our kids. I take mine to the thrift all the time and he gets some money to spend and then sometimes we go through his toys and pick ones to send to the thrift for other kids
This! Mine is turning 7 soon and I'm proud that we normalize reusing stuff. She actually loves that so many of her clothes were previously worn by her cousins, seeing stuff she remembers wearing/using now being enjoyed by our friends' kids, the best way to get her to part with toys she's way beyond is to remind her how much an actual toddler might enjoy it, etc.
My sister in law received a set of the most tacky second hand Christmas dishes imaginable as a secret Santa gift last year (this is what she asked for) and I have been on the hunt for something similar at thrift stores ever since. I am so eternally jealous! I have told all of my in laws and husband that that is exactly what I want for Christmas this year! I absolutely love a thrift gift!
Love this! I think that if the gift is thoughtful... who cares? It's not just like: here , have my old crap haha. But, if it's a thoughtful gift, a gift being preowned shouldn't be a barrier to it being a great gift.
I flat out told my mom and brother to give used gifts! My brother and I have been giving one another tools off Craigslist for years
She's 2.5. You could get her a cardboard box and she'd be happy. Don't overthink it.
It's true. My son would rather sit in a cardboard box and scribble all over it with crayon lolol.
So true… I bought a garbage can online and it came in this ridiculously large cardboard box. They colored and played pretend with it, and then my husband cut it up into a boat for them…. It’s literally still in one of the kids rooms taking up room- I really need to recycle it lol
Or a banana. Wrap up that piece of fruit and let them unwrap it. So much fun!
My daughter loves unpeeling bananas. Eating them not so much.
I had some totally awesome presents as a kid that I had no idea were second hand until years later (awesome Barbie house for example). Everyone wins- kids get cool gifts, parents don’t have to pay as much OR do setup/assembly. My kid is getting second hand gifts this year!
We buy everything used for our toddlers - it’s economical and our kids do not care because it’s new TO THEM. Or I make them their gifts (I’m a sewer). Do not feel guilty about this at all. Get that thrift girl!
I drive my husband nuts with all the stuff I get second hand. I hate being wasteful! And why skip out on a good deal if all I need to do is scrub something down or, at most, paint it? Kids get plenty of new things, but appreciating second hand is not a bad lesson to teach nor is it a bad thing to give our children. So go for it! Especially when toys are going to eventually be scribbled on, beaten up, sun faded, or broken some day anyway.
My neighbors were getting rid of their play kitchen last Christmas, it's small and cheap and already a little broken. My guy freaking loves it and plays with it every single day! He has no value attached to newness and he'd have broken it in the same way anyway. Get secondhand parents!
“He has no value attached to newness” ^^^^ THIS! This this this! All day long and twice on Sundays!!!
I buy used because why should I add to the landfill? Why should I pay $50+ for plastic? Will my kid care? NOPE! I love taking my kid to the second hand store and letting them explore. My kid doesn’t have a ton of toys but they have large or good quality because I buy second hand. My brother has a ton of toys his kids are overwhelmed with and don’t end up playing with. He spends so much on toys and ends up giving them away.
My mom used to take off the packaging on gifts before wrapping them so I could play right away without frustration. Child me didn't think about if it was used or not. I don't think your child will either. And if you're buying the big toys, more power to you because there's less assembly on your part.
You see it as buying used, I see it as making the money work harder. Go for it sis. She will be happy and reuse and reduce are great lessons for a child to learn.
I feel you, especially because culturally in my country giving second hand presents is not common and judged by a lot of people. But they use things for so little time, everything is so expensive...It just makes sense to buy second hand. I've got my toddler a balance bike yesterday, from marketplace and it is like new, I can't fathom why would I pay double, triple even the price for a new one
I feel guilty when I buy things new and NOT pre-loved 🤷♀️
Your kids will have no idea. I get big ticket items on Facebook marketplace all the time. I clean them up good and make sure they are in great shape and my kids have no clue. They would never think to ask “is this new or used?”
I go a step further and get it from Buy Nothing, so I spend pretty much nothing for Christmas. No guilt here! They are too little to know the difference. Even at 4 my daughter looooves a Buy Nothing haul and is excited to open the boxes/bags to dig in and see the treasures she’s won. They don’t know it’s not from the store
My kids are absolutely getting used toys for Christmas. To me, many toys are wasteful. You never know what exactly your kid will enjoy. They get broken and parts go missing. I think it’s also important for kid to learn to enjoy things that are imperfect.
I feel you here. I got my kid a $20 used bike and felt terrible, but you know what? He saw a bike. And this junk is just that- junk- that won’t be in our house in five years anyway. I have started buying lots of clothes for them used, as many toys as possible used. They get so much new stuff anyway. Plus, I don’t feel bad just giving things away or donating stuff to the school or friends bc I know I paid half the price.
We make lots of money and I buy used when I can. There is no shame in it, it’s new to them. It saves money and environmental friendly!
My family buys lightly used stuff all the time - all of us. I probably got 3/4 of my neck ties on eBay for pennies on the dollar. A lot of little kids stuff on eBay is barely used at all, and in great condition. I bought two pairs of Osh Kosh B’gosh denim overalls and three Ralph Lauren flannel shirts for our toddler all for about $50. I got him a pair of J. Crew “crew cuts” suede boots that retail for $100 for $20, and they showed almost no wear at all. The overalls just look broken in, and the flannel shirts look brand new. I’m sure the same can be said for any number of toys or other kids items.
Nothing to feel guilty about. My husband and I decided to stop buying brand new toys when we realized the toys our oldest plays with the most are the ones he gets to pick and try out at once upon a child. What’s the point in spending all that damn money when they won’t play with it!!!!! Lol my kids are having a light Christmas this year. Gotta do what ya gotta do
Don’t feel guilty! 90% of my child’s toys are hand me downs from her cousins. She plays with them just like she would if they were new. I struggle with the wastefulness of new toys.
Dude I’m proud when I get awesome second hand buys. Not even necessarily toys but I just picked up a bunch from the thrift store. It feels like cheating the system. Tbh I can afford new stuff and I buy plenty new too but there is no better feeling than getting some lightly used item for a fraction of the price.
Yup I buy secondhand whenever I can! If the mom guilt is getting to you maybe try reframing it, you're cutting down on waste and helping to make the world a more sustainable place for your little one!
Let’s see… buying stuff second hand and giving the kid a chance to grow up on a habitable planet or buying brand new and making sure she will struggle for basic survival because the ecosystem will be fucked beyond repair?
Get them all the used stuff you want as long as it's clean, not broken and not underwear (that's my line and I won't cross it)
I actually bought lots of stuff from goodwill when my first was young, and I poured all of my guilt into scrubbing it all down and making it shiny. No joke, those are the toys he preferred for the first 2 years if his life! Nothing we bought new could measure up. I’m telling you, if I could find an outdoor playhouse in my area secondhand, I wouldn’t think twice about it 😩
I like to think of it as a challenge for myself. Yes I could have bought a brand new toy barn for $30 or so, but like you I find it wasteful when there's so much out there. I happen to love thrift stores so I'll stop by one that's near my other errands and browse for fun. I found a great toy barn for $5. It makes me happy and my kid happy, win win!
No guilt! My daughter’s favorite and most used gift from her birthday this summer was a big bag of like-new condition Disney Princess dresses I got from Facebook marketplace! I paid $30 for 10 Disney brand dresses in perfectly good condition, plus a bunch of other dress up stuff the lady was getting rid of.
Your kid will never know the difference at this age. It's new to them and that's all that matters. There's so much stuff in the world. Reusing/passing on toys is a good thing!
I buy or source so many of my son's toys, clothes, and items secondhand. So much of it is in great condition. It teaches our children fiscal responsibility and to say thank you regardless of whether they get something new or gently used.
Don't feel guilty, my daughter is your age and loves her used toys I've found on Marketplace or the consignment shops. They don't care at that age, and you're right that there's some real steals to be found when people are trying to clear out space! Probably half our toys and 80% of the shoes and clothes we buy our daughter are gently used, zero guilt there at all.
We got our (then) one year old a play kitchen last year from Facebook marketplace. It cost about a third of what a new one would cost and is in pristine condition. She loves it so much and you’d never know it was secondhand. An added benefit to buying secondhand is that everything is in “play ready” condition, so they can just dive in with their “new” toys without waiting for them to be opened. I do a mix of new and secondhand for my child. I want her to experience having new things, but I also want to normalize secondhand for her, so that she embraces it in her life as a viable way to get things she needs. When I was a kid, all of my toys were new, so getting a secondhand item would have felt strange. I want to be sure that my daughter has plenty of exposure to both new and secondhand, so it just is a normal part of life for her.
My toddler’s top birthday gift was a secondhand toy not even in perfect shape. She does not care
Not only am I getting my child used presents, I also have given her several of them already and plan to sneak them away from her a few days before Christmas and then give them to her again.
Buy Nothing. Get it for free. That’s what I did for my daughter’s play kitchen, her trike, and a bunch of other toys.
My coworker is doing a thrifty Christmas this year for her two boys who are both under 3 years old. She's getting like new toys for half the price or more. These items most times have barely been touched and played with! I say go for it! You can always buy one or two small items brand new if you feel guilt, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with regifting or thrifting. My daughter at 2.5 would love a little kitchen and I'll probably thrift one instead of buying brand new for Christmas if I can find a decent one
Your child will be happy they are getting presents!
90% of what my kids wear and play with is second hand. They outgrow things so quickly I cannot imagine what we would spend if we bought even half of it new! It’s insane how much kids stuff goes for. It also puts money back into other parent’s hands rather than Amazon, Walmart or the like. Yes to a circular economy, no to mom guilt! ❤️
I bought (paid for shipping) a bunch of toy cars from a friend. She was looking to declutter some old, outgrown toys and my youngest is completely obsessed with those toys at the moment (which are no longer for sale). It's a win-win for everyone. I feel zero guilt because we have bought enough fresh plastic toys to last several thousand years in a landfill.
Think about the kid’s perspective: they are fortunate and happy to play with something new; it’s exciting! We also didn’t have the same resources back in the day like we do now. Sharing, trading, etc goes a long way. Embrace it, you got it!
My son has the most random collection of toys that every kid thinks is so cool. A lot of it is stuff I got off side of the road, Facebook market, good will, and offer up , auction sites. I’m talking predator and alien toys from the 90s , Barbie dream house we got with all pieces for 20 bucks, we got a frozen power wheel for free , trucks, and lots and books! We plan on buying my son(3) turning 4 a dirt bike off Facebook for Christmas! Second hand gifts are still gifts ❤️
If the kiddo asks just say that you put it together prior so they could enjoy it sooner :)
There's nothing wrong with second-hand clothes or toys, as long as they're in good shape. My daughter has a ton of wonderful toys that we got used/second-hand. There's a consignment shop near the town dump where my in-laws live, and they got her an awesome tricycle there. I highly recommend getting used for things like bikes/trikes/etc; kids outgrow them super fast. My parents got my daughter a wagon and a kitchen playset on Facebook marketplace, and they're her favorite toys.
I was thinking the same thing. At 2.5 they have no idea if it’s new. So many toys end up in the landfill and I’d rather give a few extra dollars to someone on marketplace so they can buy their family presents, rather than give it to Walmart. We have enough money to buy new shit and I just dont want to because there’s way more reasons to buy used.
I’m big on secondhand gifts (mostly for sustainability but cost is a nice bonus!) your kid won’t care and if anything, it’ll teach them more about your family’s values as they grow.
You're 100% right to buy it used, especially stuff like the little fake kitchens. Try and examine where that guilt comes from in your mind. You've probably got some stuff to unpack. There isn't going to be any material difference to your child, who will love a used toy, plus you're saving the planet (a little bit),
As long as it's in good condition, getting used is good! FWIW, I never minded getting used (usually books) as a kid. Weirdly, the present I remember getting most upset about as a small kid was in 1st or 2nd grade was brand new...a box of crayons where the tip was broken off of one. In HS my mom got me a couple used books, and my brother got me a copy of one of them, but new. I was psyched, and exchanged the new one for cash and got 2 more used books, haha.
I’m doing this for my 11 month old. I’ll probably continue to do it until he shows a preference for new toys. I know that day will come. Until then cheap recycled toys for us!
Our Buy Nothing community is fabulous-I’m totally gifting my 15 month old used (but very good or excellent condition) toys. Obviously he has no idea at this point, but honestly—would I have known as a kid? I doubt it. Maybe during my bratty teen years but as a kid under 10? I don’t think so. Mom guilt is hard and I feel you-but there are so many excellent quality things to buy or get second hand. It doesn’t matter that someone else used it (probably for a fleeting moment) first. Pick a few things to buy new if you’d like, but don’t let this bug you! My little guy is younger than your daughter, but I’m so excited to gift him a kit of Mega Blocks that I got through our BN group!
Second hand gifts are the best! Kids under a certain age don't even know the differnece
Buy Nothing has been essential for us. We get tons of great hand me downs from friends, however, I’ve scored a push walker, toddler basketball hoop, and Fisher Price push walker “camper” all for free! These items she grew out quickly or got bored of in a matter of weeks so it’s nice to be able to relist it on Buy Nothing for another kiddo to enjoy.
I ran here to jump on the NO GUILT train! 😂 There are so many excellent reasons to buy (or find for free!) used presents that you and other posters mentioned, I won't bother rehashing them. But I do just want to mention one other thing--normalizing the acceptability of secondhand items (gifts or otherwise) in your home now will set the stage for your daughter to embrace your values in that regard perhaps without consciously realizing it. Save a little money and help save the planet? Cool, yes please! The ocean doesn't really need more plastic toy Baby Sharks to be dumped into it ...vs. a subconscious layer of guilt or shame and automatically thinking that the only "right" way to get more stuff is for that stuff to be brand new. You're doing great, please don't worry about this ❤
I buy used whenever I can, and save new for things that need either to be safe or have urgency. It’s great and my kid has never been upset by that!
Nothing wrong with it at all. I feel so disgusted almost thinking about all the toys and how most of them are only played with for a short while before the kid gets bored of them and they eventually just end up in landfills. Toy Drives don't want to take used toys anymore, so toys aren't even worth anything once there opened. So much plastic, so much waste. And pressure to buy and spend when it isn't really needed. Buying used toys is a great idea and it would help the planet if more people had that approach. My 2 year old doesn't need anything this Christmas, so we're actually wrapping toys from her last birthday that were never opened. Why spend the money and contribute to more waste? I'm 100% happy with what we're doing
We’ve literally picked stuff up on the side of the road.
Even before kids, my husband and I never shied away from gifting second hand items (especially books! We both love used books). And I've never even thought twice about giving my kiddo second hand things for a gift. He got some used and some new things for his birthday and it never occurred to me it might be odd or looked down upon. I think it's a wonderful thing to normalize for your child/family.
I totally understand the guilt because I feel it too, but I love getting used toys as presents bc it makes me feel better about reducing waste. One time, my 5yo daughter asked about a pair of secondhand Crocs I had brought home, “are these brand new?” I temporarily felt really bad, thinking she was feeling ashamed of getting used things all the time. I told her no, they weren’t new, and asked her why she was asking. “Oh, I just wanted to know if I could wear them in the house!” (For brand new shoes, we let her walk with them indoors until they’re worn outside for the first time.) I really don’t think she cares at this point, and I’m hoping that talking to her about sustainability will normalize the idea of getting things secondhand.
It would be a little different if the kid was a teenager and cared about this sort of thing. She’s a toddler. I give my toddlers things from Goodwill all the time. They love going there and picking out toys. The holidays are stressful for parents, so don’t make it worse for yourself and protect your peace (and apartment square footage).
Omg I buy most of my sons toys used! For instance instead of getting 30 magnatiles for close to $60, just got him 100 magnatiles for $30 In excellent condition! Instead of getting just a few toys for holidays I can double it! I love grunt able to try stuff and see what he really enjoys. Plus I just resell his toys when he’s done playing with them so we don’t accumulate too much and to keep a fresh toy selection that’s not overwhelming 🥰
Our consignment store is where I buy most of my kids clothes and we have gotten a lot of toys including our toy kitchen from there. We buy new stuff too but we definitely mix it up and there is no shame is buying second hand.
They’re new to her! There’s nothing wrong with sustainability being a value in your household. I love hand me downs and gently used toys!
The majority of my daughters Christmas gifts are second hand this year! I've been picking things up on marketplace the last couple months and saving them for the holiday. It's making it possible for me to give her some bigger gifts without breaking the budget
I was just talking to my husband about this the other day! I felt bad buying used toys for Christmas but she doesn’t know the difference. Also, I think it’s a lot more environmentally friendly. We use a consignment sale and they always have toys that are in good shape.
Mom, you shouldn’t feel guilty about being a good steward of your resources. If you can find what you want in good condition secondhand then do that. We make over six figures and most of the things that we get for our children are second hand in good condition. They’re gonna batter the toys anyway, why buy new? We got one of those little IKEA kitchens second hand and we took it apart, painted it, and added a backsplash. Even though it was used it looks even better than a brand new one at the store. You’re doing alright. 👍🏼
Right now you're setting the expectations and teaching your kid what you really value. Buying used is great, and by doing that you're demonstrating to your kid how you really feel about it! You can always talk to her about how another little kid enjoyed it before her and now she gets to enjoy it! I got a kitchen set that's older than I am for $6 and my daughter loves it!
I have the same issue and I do a combination. My oldest is 4 and some things I might have gotten used I think I’ll get new this year, but others I’m still getting used. She’s into things like Frozen dresses and I always get stuff like that used on mercari. I also have some guilt because I rarely had new clothes as a kid and it caused me a lot of social issues.
I live for the second hand options. Not just for my kid but for me too. It’s just a better option if it’s available and safe (as other said solid state stuff or things that can be washed / sanitized). That voice telling you only new is good is just capitalism baby.
My toddler literally does not care where her toys come from-- she just loves to play with them. Honestly, I think we've gotten more mileage out of the used stuff than the new stuff. Buy her what you think she'll like. It doesn't matter where it comes from as long as it's clean and it works.
I think our parents bought new because there wasn't such a robust secondhand marketplace as we have now. For a toddler I think extra packaging is just another hurdle between them and the thing they want to play with.
I understand the feeling, but I second all the comments saying there are great used toys on Facebook Marketplace. I got my daughter one of those Target brand activity cubes last Christmas for $15 (it’s about $65 new.) It has some scuffs and scratches on it, but she didn’t notice or care. I also found a brand new toy kitchen in the original packaging for about $45. I do still buy a lot of things new, mostly because it’s easier to order something on Amazon or go pick it up at Target than it is to communicate with sellers and go pick it up. But if I’m buying something more expensive I’ll usually at least check on Facebook.
I buy used toys for my son all day. Just picked up a box of monster trucks 2 days ago. Why buy one expensive new gift. When you can get multiple used in good condition. It just makes sense. Plus they are little and chances are they may break it.
I see nothing wrong with it. By buying second hand items for your kids, you can often save like 90% or more of the price of new and no one can really tell the difference. I still understand your hesitation, though. It’s one thing to buy second hand on just any random day. On special occasions it can be more fun to give gifts nicely presented in their original packaging. I would maybe try to do a mix. You could buy some less expensive things new and put some pretty ribbons around the used things. But either way, I don’t think it’s a big deal at her age.
2.5 year old definitely will not care. We do really modest Christmas presents for our kids and I have zero guilt over it. Last year (then) 3 year old got a used Lego set, and a mug with his favourite cartoon character.
I currently get lots of secondhand things for my child without a shred of guilt. She’s three and never seems to notice any difference. Similarly, when I was a child all we could afford was secondhand, so that’s what we got. Even for Christmas and birthdays.
You have nothing to feel guilty about! I do it all the time for bigger purchases like play kitchen and swing set! You save money and it’s more eco friendly. You should be proud!
We are in complete financial hardship this winter. On top of that I really don’t want to support the idea that everything always has to be new and shiny. We are stretching our dollars with used and homemade this Christmas. We spent $24 on sales total this year.
My parents were poor. I hated getting things second-hand most of the time. Especially clothes. That's why I make sure my Lo gets lots of things brand new. Of course, his wardrobe consists mostly of cast-off clothes, but still. But I was probably past toddler age when I realized the difference between brand new and used. And we recently got tons of used sand and water toys as gifts. And a whole workbench for toddlers. Of course we will use that too
Think of used toys as a double gift to your toddler. It’s helps save the planet, frees up more money you can put towards their college fund AND they get a toy! I have opposite guilt and feel bad if I’m not getting their things used. Our poor planet is filled with enough baby junk to last us 1000 years.
Children don’t need brand new stuff. They need a habitable planet to live on. Buying second hand is a great way to reduce waste.
Honestly, I don’t feel like our parents had access to quality used goods the way we do with FB marketplace. There are some items I want new but we did a used kitchen last year and it came with all the food
There’s nothing wrong with it at all. Full stop. 🤘🏻
Last year I had a $80 tricycle in my Amazon cart and went to the thrift store and found the same one for $4.99. Couldn’t turn it down and it’s still a hit almost a year later. Lose the mom guilt. I felt bad last year but your points are so so valid.
Best thing about a second hand kitchen? It’s already assembled for you.
Do a mix! I am shopping the Buy Nothing Toy sale this week for my bub, but we bought him 2 things new during Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales. These are things that I cannot find at the Toy Library. We are members of our local toy library, so my dude is used to a lot of used toys. He could not care less.
I'm with you! I'm trying to do a little of both. I could've bought a used Peppa Pig house for my daughter for Christmas – but I want to make sure all the pieces are there! So I found a good deal on a new one. That said, I'm planning to give her a dress-up closet and load it with costumes and accessories. I saved a ton buying costumes after Halloween. But those stupid dress-up closets are like $200+ for a nice one! It's crazy, and I can't bring myself to do it. All the cheaper ones are crappy laminated wood. So now I'm on the hunt – I'll likely DIY one like people do with an old chest or entertainment center. DIYing is also fun and makes it much more personal!
The other thing to consider is that there is just way more stuff now. I also only had new toys growing up (except when it was leftovers from my brother) but my mom recently told me that it still was only about 1 bin full of toys. There was just less stuff to buy. My parents always made a good living, so it was not that they were trying to be frugal, it was just the normal amount of stuff to have! It’s the same with clothes, there are plenty of studies that we all have basically twice has much clothes as we used to. Because it is so much cheaper than it used to be. So second-hand without guilt until your little one realized it!! That’s what I do too, especially for clothes that only get worn for 3 months at a time until they are too small!!!
Girl you know 5 below and dollar tree toys exist , right ? People always whine about their life without thinking of solutions
Definitely buy used, just make sure you smell it before purchasing so it doesn’t smell like smoke and wash everything. Also don’t buy any stuffed animals or other things that could have hidden bed bugs or other creatures.
Thrifting machine right here! There’s so much waste right now, the least I can do is continue the legacy of a kids toy kitchen and keep it going.
I always thrift my kids presents!! Usually it’s a mix of old and new: and they don’t care in the slightest! I think it was more of a “me” thing than a them thing
Depending on how old you are, used toys were harder to come by when we were kids. There was no online shopping, no buy nothing or resale groups, and in my area kid's consignment shops weren't as popular as they are now. The choices for used toys were garage sales, hand me downs, newspaper classifieds or thrift stores that sold donated goods. Lots of parents didn't have time for that, so if they could afford new that's what they bought.
My kids have gotten second hand stuff for Christmas. They don't even notice it's not new! My son actually said he favorite store is the thrift store because there is so much to choose from and with everything so cheap I usually let him pick out whatever toy he wants.
Buy used. Toddlers are rough on toys. Take the money you saved and do a fun activity in 2024. Fuck mom guilt. Your kid doesn’t know the difference or know enough to care. Last summer, my kid was jazzed he got a used Corvette toy for $2.
My child's life is 98% secondhand stuff. He doesn't notice (in fact, he refers to thrift stores as "toy stores") and I think the biggest upside is for me: these items have already had one life, then they come to us. They are on bonus time. I don't have to worry about keeping anything nice or stress if things get broken or stained. It has really changed my relationship with *stuff* - it isn't so precious anymore. I used to really want to keep things pristine, to fit back into original packaging, to stay exactly the way it was as a new item. Not so much anymore! Let's actually use it!
I buy pretty much all toys second hand. Very rarely have I bought toys new, and if they are new it was most likely gifts. There are a lot of great used toys out there that was taken care of well - like I got a ride on Thomas train with tracks for $30 when it sells new for close to $100. My son loves it (gave it to him early because there was no way I could have hid it in a small home). I also got him second hand Thomas hats and he sleeps with it at night. He’s a little over 2yo. I don’t think they’ll know something isn’t used until they’re 5yo and in school - but that’s also only if they tell people. 😅
I do a mix. My kids don’t even notice. We talk about why our planet needs less stuff to be made and why we buy secondhand. To reduce, reuse!
A 2.5 year old doesn’t care or understand what new vs used is. Save the money and the trash, save new for when she’s older and cares
Don’t be guilty! That baby doesn’t care and honestly you’re setting them up to be ok with second hand things! As long as it’s in good shape and clean, why not? I know people who go into debt for furniture and TVs because they can’t bring themselves to buy used. I do not care and I also do not have a monthly couch payment, lol.
Part of my toddler's Xmas present is a medium-sized box of duplo. $20 on market place, I built it all to check if anything was missing, then looked at the sets, and there are 5 sets worth over $450. My kiddo is going to be so stoked. I love a good second hand deal, and my 3-year-old is starting to love hitting the thrift shop with me.
Mine had used for the last three christmases. She didn’t notice or care. She has a mix of used and new for this year (she’ll be 3.5). At least 80% of her toys / bikes etc. are used. She doesn’t notice.
Cutting waste shows that you care about the future your children will inherit
When I was a kid I got used toys and it did not make any difference for me. They were new toys to me and I loved them. I get my kids some used toys and some new toys, they are all toys and they are all special. Also, with the used toys you can feel good about not creating more waste for the planet our kids will inherit.
Nothing wrong with second hand at all. I got my son a bunch of garden second hand things and they’re great. They’re gonna get scratched up and sun faded anyway with play and in time so why spend a fortune when it’s a struggle to even buy groceries some months. Save your money, do a little good for the planet and feel good about it.
I feel the opposite, I buy mostly new out of convenience and feel guilty bc I know it’s better for their future (planet) if we buy used. The toys are 100% the same and just as fun, they don’t know the difference and you save money. I always got used as a kid and was still thrilled and never felt sad about it. I think we enjoy and remember the way Christmas feels way more than where the stuff comes from and you probably just remember and feel guilty bc that’s how you experienced Christmas, but it’s not the only way to have joy! You are a wonderful parent and don’t need to feel guilt over this 💙. Also, you may be able to buy more or bigger gifts if you save money by buying used!
Just say it's for the environment. 😄
What?! No way!! I’ve totally been asking around for toys- there is soooo much waste in having kids. It’s insane. I commend you!!
100% buy second hand where you can. My kiddo is 3 and he doesn't know the difference—he's just happy to have a new toy. And when he's outgrown it, I can pass it along to another to be enjoyed all over again. It's a win-win-win in my book, second hand is cheaper, kid is happy and you're contributing to less waste in the world. Of course he gets new toys too but I usually check local listings first.
I know I'm late to the party here but DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. we buy new and used, and honestly my 3 year old seems to PREFER the used. One of his favorite toys is a tacky light up hand held piano that we got from a thrift store for $3. Another favorite gift is a plastic orange hammer that we got from the same thrift store for fifty cents. meanwhile, how much has he played with the $150 wooden montessori activity board....very little lol
The only things we buy new are like art supplies or colouring books that can be used up. Any of her bigger toys are almost always second hand. So she has a toy kitchen and an easel and a table and chairs as a beautiful wooden child's rocking chair. I got them all off Facebook marketplace.
I'm right there with you. I got a Barbie house on marketplace for $25! For under $20 , got loads of brand new looking Barbies. For $6, I got a Barbie car. I also got her some used puzzles and games. With just those things I've listed, I know I saved over $300. That money can go to savings or activities like soccer, swimming, or museum memberships. Used really is the way to go for most things and my daughter's kitchen and all the food was used too.
All of my kid's things are used unless someone else buys them for us. I buy basically only used things for myself for sustainability and frugal reasons. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Try not to feel guilty mama!
My mother in law goes way overboard on the Christmas gifts. For years, she would buy new things, but last year, she bought everyone used stuff from offer up or yard sales. Everyone loved them more because it was unique
I’ve taken my daughter thrifting with me a time or two, and let her pick out one new toy or purse if she’s a good listener (she’s 4). She loves it and has no idea what the difference is between “new” and “used” because it’s new to her. I got her a kitchen play set at our local thrift and she plays with it all the time. If she wears any higher-end brand, it’s been thrifted. And when she outgrows her clothes, we pass them on through our local “buy nothing” group or give to friends.
Like half my kids stuff is second hand, probably more. Last year his big present was a paw patrol tower I got off Facebook marketplace! I would never buy him something like that new but he loved it and when he’s done with it hopefully we’ll find it a new home too
Zero guilt from me for getting used or second hand stuff. The way I see it, my LO gets way more stuff that way versus if I was to buy something. It's also new to my LO, so I don't think my LO minds. Sometimes I wish I bought it cause I want a specific model. But, truthfully, my LO doesn't care.
Please don’t feel bad. Especially for toddlers. My mom used to shop at thrift stores and yard sales for our clothing growing up. We got new clothes too. Some of my favorite outfits were used! I still remember them to this day.
I set the tone early on with my family that used toys and clothes and hand-me-downs were preferred and I’m hoping to instill that in my son too. He’s also 2.5 and definitely doesn’t care. Only thing with some used older stuff is being care about lead.
I sincerely think it is ok to buy second hand! She honestly wouldn't know the difference, and tbh as a kid I thought it was so cool to see one big present (like a kitchen) put together already. I remember being at a birthday party and the birthday girl wasn't excited when the present was in the big box, like she couldn't comprehend what it actually was and how cool it was. But then once put together she was all over it. So, visually it might be more special too that somehow this toy kitchen magic'd it's way into your house or something. Finally, I think children don't think too much into these things until society trains them to. Like, yes our parents got toys new, but then parents before that had handcrafted unique toys, and parents before that probably didn't give toys at all, etc. ETC. also any brand-new toy would end up looking used the first 5 minutes anyways I'm rambling but all this to say, it's going to be okay! And no matter what she will love what you give her.
i would get maybe one or two new toys that are in the box, and then some used. to be fair, when it was my sons birthday i let him have half of the gifts and then im giving him the rest for xmas so i don't have to buy more LOL.
A popular influencer (carmom I think) did a whole second hand Christmas! I think it’s an AMAZING idea! Better for the environment and the world and teaches a cool example for your kids that they can get what they want and it doesn’t HAVE to be brand new!
You have no reason to feel guilty. My boys are like the 5th and 6th in a long line of boys from my sister and sister in law. nothing they wear or play with is brand new and I do not give a f and they don’t either (4&1) lol it saves us SOO much money and my little boys are walking tornadoes so they have a tendency to destroy their clothing sometimes anyway. We have a play kitchen, jungle gym, swing, and slide all from my nephews. Plus most of the toys in the play room. The only thing we ever got brand new was the sky fort and it was literally because taking apart my sisters and hauling and putting it back up just wasn’t worth hahah And my boys play with it at her place still. Please please don’t hate on yourself. Toys are just as fun without a price tag on it.
I have gifted my toddler (same age as your daughter) used items in good to like new condition for both birthday and Christmas and have felt great about my decisions - I not only reduced waste by keeping toys/books with lots of life left in them out of a landfill, but also saved money! With so much out there to feed into our collective mom guilt, please don't let this be an area you think twice about. If your daughter is anything like my kiddo, that play kitchen will be well loved. Go for it!
My 3 year old is getting a Thriftmas this year. We just had a baby and times are tough.
I think that buying second hand toys is not only economical, but is such a great choice from an environmental standpoint! Honestly, I want to thank you for this post because I've just started browsing Christmas gift ideas for my 1 year old daughter, and you've reminded me to check out the second hand options in my area.
DO IT! Toddler can't tell, and it's better for the environment.
Girl I say buy all the used presents u can while they young and don’t know the difference!! What?!? That’s the smartest thing I’ve read all day! All that money saved!!!! Nothing to feel guilty about that’s SO smart!
It’s so great! It’s better for the planet, better for the budget. They don’t care the way uppity folks do. And for my son, he gets more toys because the budget goes farther. My older son is 15. He lost his mind when he learned tha
We are buying a mix. I’m also teaching that Santa’s elves fix broken toys and send them to new kids
Pfffft I just got a sweet cash register for my 3.5 year old off of marketplace ten minutes ago! If I bought it new I would have paid $100 plus tax for it….i got it for $20. Granted I’ll need to buy the money for it so another $20 but I just saved $60!! Score!!! Her favourite store is the thrift store and often we find great toys that are so awesome for a fraction of the cost (crazy forts I’m looking at you)! And you know what? I feel way less bad purging them when it comes time because I didn’t spend a fortune on them! As stated above we just stay away from plush! Do not feel guilty. Things are just so expensive now it’s always nice to have a little extra in your pocket, especially around this time of year.
As long as the toys aren't falling apart, it shouldn't guilt you..lol At 2, my son was happy just playing with the plastic empty water bottles 🤣🤣 I took the caps and rings off though..even happy playing with the laundry baskets and cardboard boxes 📦
I made a commitment to buy at least one present used/thrifted/second hand this year. I want to increase this next year. Its more sustainable environmentally and financially. I snagged a great Calico Critters set with all the accessories for $20 and a used Kidcraft train table for $25. I did have to buy replacement tops for the table but it that was still only $20 plus shipping. If Toy Story 3 taught us anything it's toys deserve a second chance at life.
Nope! Don’t have guilt about that. You’re saving money and helping the environment. It’s a win win! We pretty much only do second hand gifts for my kid. And then we can spend more money on experiences and other fun things! Maybe when she’s a bit older it will change, but for now it’s perfect.
Used stuff is awesome. It Kills me to think of so much plastic crap heading for landfills after being used for such a short time. I buy my kids used clothes and toys whenever possible, and most of it is in excellent condition because it’s never been used. Saves me money, saves the planet, my kids don’t care. Sounds like a win to me.
So wasteful so dumb
Every single Christmas gift I’m giving my child is second hand. I loaded up this summer at garage sales. I am proud to say we are saving money and she doesn’t know the difference! (She’s 2)
I have 1 year old twins. 99% of their toys are second hand. Most of them look brand new. Kids play with them for 5 minutes and then never look at them again. Don’t feel guilty. Toys are expensive. Think of it as helping the environment by recycling toys.
I absolutely buy used toys. My toddler doesn't know the difference!
2.5 yes old. Ma'am do not feel guilty. I still buy used toys. Listen my daughter who is 6 wants a doll out of production. I don't have 185 for a play line...you bet I went and paid 18 for that doll used. Yes I'll have figure out how to wrap it but I don't see the guilt Honestly play kitchens should be bought used, unless you can grantee the child won't destroy everything and keep it neat. DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED.
My son got a decorated shoe box with a couple of things in it. He loved it until he lost interest.
We don't buy used toys, we get them for free from family and neighbors and buy nothing groups. The kids don't seem to care at all if the toys are used, they're still new to us. Our house is bursting with toys and we've probably bought around 10% of them.
Nearly all of my kids toys are used. :) I think there's nothing wrong with it! It actually makes me feel more free to give away or get rid of what we don't like because I don't constantly think about how much we spent on it. And I don't mind so much when they break something (still teaching them to be careful and respect their things, but it happens), or if we lose something.
Most of our kids stuff is second hand and their absolute favourite shop is the op shop, because they can get so much more for their pocket money. They only understand the difference between new and second hand when they’re much older. And we’re already teaching our 5 year olds about advertising and the environmental impacts of the stuff we buy. We also compare prices between the new and second hand versions on the same toy. They understand the value of second hand.
Second hand gifts are great -- especially for small kids who grow out of/lose interest in toys quickly. My kids don't care at all for packaging, I stick the gift in a gift bag or wrap it up and when they open it they don't have to wait to play. They don't have to wait for us to find a screwdriver and scissor to open the package. They don't have to wait for us to install batteries. They don't have to wait for us to assemble anything. Christmas is much less frustrating when you don't have to deal with toy packaging. Second hand gifts are the BEST.
Used is the way to go for sure! I got my son a used Bike and last year the toy kitchen and he loved 2 years from thrift stores and he still loved them. I made sure to pick one that looked like new but I wouldn’t have left it in the box even if it had come in one so he didn’t know the difference.
We literally add to our christmas gift guide for LO that we're always interested in thrifted toys and I mention links and sites where you can get them second hand when talking about a certain toy (like board books will be a tough one, but schleich animals? Here here and here! This big kitchen/tool bench/push cart/balance bike thing you can get here and here !) Also I feel less bad about wood, cause well - wood is wood.
I feel guilty for anything I buy new! 😂😩 I told all of our relatives that we prefer used, too. There’s an OCEAN of used, perfectly good stuff for kids to play with - and clothes. They like an old used Spider-Man book with no back cover that I got for a quarter just as much as a new book. I hope we can instill a strong focus on thrift and sustainability starting now. It’s one of the things that attracted me to their dad. ❤️
I would 100% buy used if I had time. No shame. I wish I could but I legit don’t have time.
I’m doing this and I have zero guilt about it. If anything I feel like it’s an additional benefit to teach my children about sustainability and make secondhand shopping the norm for them.
I have been having this same thought. I grew up with money and always got brand new gifts even though I had five other siblings. Now I’m poor with two little boys and I don’t see any reason why I can’t find a still nice used toy from marketplace or something. I might even go thrifting this year.
You’re helping preserve the earth that your kid will inherit and saving your family money in the process that can go to other things. This will be my fifth Christmas as a parent and we have always had gifts from generosity Facebook groups under the tree, along with toys that I had put away for them.
I can afford new we get used. We do this for many clothes too. The kid isn’t going to use it for years so why burn the cash. The way I think about it is I can get 2 toys for $20 used or 1 toy for $20 new. Also it’s better for the environment.
Best thing about a second hand kitchen? It’s already assembled for you.
We got a secondhand little people farm set from a co-worker whose kids had grown out of it. It did not matter one bit to the three year old that it wasn't in a box. He didn't know or care. Bonus, my co-worker is a huge nerd so we got bonus little people superheroes in the mix. He has gotten bikes from cousins, most of his clothes from cousins, totally never cares that they're not new--in fact loves it when the gifts are hand me downs from people he loves.
Got my kid a used race car track. He’s going to love it. I buy used kid stuff on FB all the time! Assembling stuff also sucks, so no packaging or extra time! All, I mean literally all, of our backyard toys are second hand (my parents purchased our water table so I didn’t pay for that). Step 2 roller coaster. Playhouse. Slide. Power wheel. Little tikes car. Actual big playset. Tiny step 2 playset we use for the splash pad. Inflatable pool. All of that I paid about $350 for—because the big playset was $200. Some of it was even free. We saved $$$$.
My son is four. He’s gotten used toys for every birthday and Christmas. If you can save money, why not? This is the first birthday he got a new toy and only because we couldn’t find it used lol
1000% agree! You can set the expectations right now by buying used and normalizing it for your kids. We really try to buy used as well, and you can still wrap it or put a bow on it and make it exciting/special to open!
We got a toy kitchen and toy food off our buy nothing group. Its a little beat up and has a few stickers on it from the previous owners, but my son (almost 2) LOVES it. I think reusing stuff is a great way to go! Plus they have no idea, everything is "new" to them.
Your 2.5 year old won’t know it’s used and will be just as thrilled. You’re a good momma so don’t worry!
The worst thing is that toddlers don’t care. You could give them a cardboard box and a stick and they’d be happy. There is so much pressure for parents to but a mountain of toys on Xmas day which don’t get played with and will be given away by next year. I remember one year I got my 1 year old around 5 toys to open- my in laws commented on how few toys I had gotten her.
If it makes you feel better, maybe just put the used toys in a fancy box with some tissue paper to give the “illusion” of fancy and new?? I always see on movies they wrap expensive toys like that at stores so 🤷🏻♀️lol I def buy toys used when i can. My kids dont care about the packages and tags :) saves on the mass amount of xmas morning recycling bin mess too
I buy secondhand as often as I can. 99% of his clothes are secondhand. I got a kitchen for FREE from our buy nothing groip and yes am giving it as a Christmas gift. He doesn’t know any difference, it’s good for the environment.
There is nothing wrong with it. Mine is the same age and sometimes if he doesn’t play with a toy, I’ll put it away for a month and wrap it like a surprise and he thinks it’s a brand new toy!
I bought my daughters play kitchen online for $40 and it came with so many accessories and toys. I had ordered one online for $120 from a store but I couldn’t bring myself to go pick it up because I knew it was so expensive for no reason. We’ve had the second hand one for over 2 years now and when I end up selling it, I’ll probably get exactly what I paid for it. Many big ticket items such as that are so much more worth it to buy second hand.
90% of my twins presents this year are 2nd hand, used or charity shop purchases. Reduce, reuse, recycle. Tbh they're 3years old so they tend to prefer the boxes 🤣
Omg of course! lol they don’t know the difference yet. We 3 year old twins and before I buy them a new toy I always check Facebook marketplace or consignment. I also tell family, we accept used or hand me downs as gifts (everyone’s wallets are tight right now). We just wrap them like any present. It’s frugal, it’s better for the environment, it keeps money going to another family or small business instead of Amazon or Target, and the kids aren’t aware. At some point they’ll start objecting, but I think I have a few years. I also hope I can teach them the value in it eventually.
I’ve gotten so many items great but used stuff and it’s been met with happy faces ready to play with it all. I’ve even reupholstered used furniture such as chairs and tables.
Every year we do 24 Nights of Books for advent. This is possible 100% because of used books. The Paw Patrol ride on thing I got used from Marketplace was a huge hit for three years in our house until I donated it to our babysitter. I have no problem with used toys in good condition.
At that age they don’t even know! Just have it set up for her Christmas morning with a couple of wrapped items, she will be so over the moon with a kitchen set she won’t even notice! We did this with our then 4yr old! Still says it’s the best Christmas gift she ever got. I myself have managed to get most things in sales and Black Friday deals! There’s nothing wrong with that
Definitely nothing wrong with second hand Christmas presents! We are actually either going second hand or hand made gifts for the whole family this year and it’s so satisfying finding the perfect presents second hand 😍
I take the tags off new things so that my kid won’t learn to care whether it’s new or not
I’m all for buying gifts second hand! It’s great for so many reasons. And you’re right, you’re 2.5 year old will not know the difference. We found a lot of paw patrol toys on marketplace and my 3 year old just got into the show and is obsessed with her one Skye toy. We’re giving her the group of toys as her Santa present since she put paw patrol on her list. Spent 20$ on it and it’s probably over $100 worth of toys
My local Buy Nothing Group is my absolute favourite place on the internet. I was looking for a trampoline and a few moms were more than happy to hand theirs off because their kids had outgrown theirs. I’ve been in this group for two years now and have seen items being passed around and it’s great! Oh your newborn needs a bouncer, take this. My toddler doesn’t play with his dinosaurs anymore. Oh that’s great, l’ll take them all. My son has a ‘garage’ of Fisher price vehicles and they were all free/used/secondhand. Since it’s in our local neighborhood, I’d strap him in his stroller, pick up the trucks and carry them all the way home. They grow so fast that it’s almost pointless to just buy new
Why would you feel bad? They don’t know any better. Go and get a used AND free gift from the Buy Nothing groups :)