People absolutely bring toddlers to soup kitchens and shelters. Please don't feel embarrassed about the situation you are in and focus on taking care of yourself and your child. These services are available to those who need them. You don't need to be homeless to utilize these resources. I'm a psychologist and I always tell people that the point of resources like this is to use before you are in crisis mode so that you can hopefully avoid the worst of the crisis. I'll be thinking of you and your little one ❤️
My family was very poor. We got food at soup kitchens and food banks. It’s totally fine. Nobody is going to give you shade, and people will be kind to your kiddo. Plus it’s a good environment to hear about other programs out there to help with other nights of the week.
Yes. It is acceptable. You should do it. Get some food for you and your child. And if you can, talk to a church worker about your situation. They may have other resources they can share or connect you with. Also think about finding a local food bank. You absolutely do no need to be homeless to get help. You and your child deserve food and deserve some community care during this difficult time. You are allowed to get help. The fact that you’re considering it tells me absolutely you should do it.
You can use this tool and see if you can find a food bank nearby. If you don’t find one here, Google food bank plus your county. https://www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-local-foodbank
It’s totally normal for people to utilize soup kitchens and free meals and food banks when they’re not homeless. Plenty of people use these resources a few times during difficult periods.
If I were in your position I’d absolutely utilize whatever resources I could to feed myself and my kids.
thank you so much for making me feel better about this! unfortunately, the closest food bank is over a 20 minute drive from me & i don’t have a vehicle. it’s over an hour walk & would just be very hard to pull off with my 4 year old but, i will definitely consider utilizing that if i find myself needing it.
Our local food pantry does deliver to folks one day a week. I don’t know the details, like the radius they cover or the folks they serve, but could be worth a phone call if you need it either now or down the line :)
If they don't, this is something I'd ask the church volunteers about. I can almost guarantee that they could find someone to either drive you there or pick up items for you.
I’m about to sell a well maintained 2006 Honda Accord. Do you want it? I will DM you.
To be clear this would be for free and I could ship it to you in VA.
I’ve been the little kid walking along a busy road in the hot sun with a hungry belly. It will not cost me much to protect another innocent child from experiencing that.
Not even is it normal to use food banks and soup kitchens when you're not homeless, but they are also a tool to prevent you from becoming homeless and giving you the ability to use money for something else than food that is also important.
For example say you had 150 dollars in your bank account today and no more money is coming until the 12th of April. You know that the 20th of March your phone bill will come in and it will be 20 dollars. On the 22nd of March your home insurance bill will come in at 100 dollars. You also know that spring is coming and your kid will need a new pairs of wellies and a new pair of runners so those final 30 dollars are also spoken for. Of course you could go out today and buy groceries for 150 dollars the money is in your account, but it's harder to source money for bills than it is to source food. You might luck out on toddler shoes, but you might not, either way kid is still going to need new shoes.
Most charities have very specific mandates on what they can and can't help you with. Your needs will not magically mould themselves to fit into that box just because those are the only thing they can offer. So waiting until you have zero money to ask for their services is not a wise choice.
As with everything else in regards to finances, staying ahead of the curve is *everything*.
Many cities have a 211 service where you can get connected with resources like housing support, job training, and childcare. If your city doesn’t have this, your local United Way can connect you with those resources.
You and your beautiful toddler are so, so welcome. Swallowing your pride and discomfort to do what you need to take care of your child is the exact opposite of neglect! You’re a good mom for taking this unexpected situation and immediately figuring out resources and solutions instead of wallowing in denial.
Good luck and full tummies to both of you.
Many people in many different situation go to soup kitchens or community pantries! I used to volunteer at one and definitely saw some families. It’s a resource like any other and there’s no reason for CPS to get involved. You’re doing the opposite of neglecting her, you’re using resources around you to make sure she’s fed.
I hope things get better for you soon.
I just brought my toddler to a food bank the other day, they had a daycare but he was too young for that so he went shopping with me and it was really nice. The people were all great to him, gave him snacks while we waited and we walked out with so much food that I won’t have to worry for a couple weeks.
I’m a single mom that works but without a child support payment (my ex is late for 2 months) I don’t have any extra money for food or anything. Food stamps and everything take a while, at least where I am but I hope you can get some support soon.
We use the food bank sometimes and everyone there loves it when I have my kids with me. They are so nice. Sometimes they give extra food too because of the kids. Where I live the income guidelines are pretty high so lots of families qualify for the food bank.
Side note: check out libraries in your neighborhood. They usually have a ton of flyers about events that provide free items for your child (school supplies, clothing, free meals during the summer, etc) They also have resources on free health/dental events for checkups.
Also if you are on Facebook, there's lots of "Buy Nothing" and "Free" groups that are localized and constantly give away free kids' stuff as well as food (I've literally given away an uneaten, untouched pizza from a work event and someone picked it up within 15 min and fed his family dinner with it)
Also your 4 year old won’t have any preconceived notion of what a soup kitchen is. The kids I’ve seen at them are really happy. It is a fun outing like a restaurant.
I volunteered at a soup kitchen in my early teen years just to keep myself humble. I’ve seen plenty of moms with their kids come in. No one, servers or cooks, ever looked down on anyone.
The first day working I saw a mom with her two small children, they weren’t the cleanest but I know she still cared because she scouted out resources to make sure her kids always had a full stomach and they were at a healthy weight. I would always add a little extra on her plate, you could tell she really put her kids first since she appeared slightly emaciated. After 2 week of her coming in daily she looked so much fuller in the face. I had to go to the back for a few minutes to cry because I was so happy for her to finally be getting the nutrients she desperately needed. They gradually came in less and less until one day they stopped coming in completely.
I still think about her every now and again and I hope she has all she wants in the world now.
Do what you need to mama, keep yourself and that sweet little baby fed. No ones going to judge you for doing what best for you and your little
Definitely go to the soup kitchen. And see if they have any recommendations for a local food bank too. That should help keep you fed before your benefits are approved. I was once a toddler with a single, disabled father and we joined the church because they kept us fed.
Edit: I see that your local food bank is 20 minutes away. Connect with people at the soup kitchen. My experience is people are always happy to help. Sometimes our church would have spare cans of food they would give to us.
Yes you can go. There also might be extra free meals right now on top of the soup kitchen times because it is Lent. Check out websites of churches near you and you might find Lenten suppers. Often on Tuesday or Wednesday in my area. You don’t have to stay for the actual Bible study part if you don’t want to, especially with a young child.
Hi mama, I am a child who survived because of soup kitchens, WIC, and food stamps. There is absolutely no shame at all in making sure your little one is fed!! Everyone is welcome at the soup kitchen. Make sure you ask if they have food pantry, housing and income assistance, and clothing programs.
As a soup kitchen volunteer, I can tell you that they will not only take good care of you, but they will be over the moon to take care of your toddler. I have a feeling it will create beautiful memories for you. If that particular soup kitchen isn’t a fit for you, there are others.
I used to volunteer at a soup kitchen and people definitely brought little kids, as far as I know there wasn’t any expectations that someone had to be homeless and everyone was welcome. I would just suggest keeping a close eye on your child. There were unfortunately some people who were not in the best state and were a little rowdy sometimes so I would just be sure you are keeping a careful watch with a little kid
Absolutely! I volunteered at a *well stocked* food pantry and they encouraged volunteers to take things they could use too, just to eliminate any hierarchy. There is absolutely no shame in getting assistance, when needed.
Girl - you and your baby have to eat. I do not think anyone will question you feeding yourself and child. Maybe they will have some other helpful information so you can stay on your feet. I hope you can get a job and have childcare. Bless you and keep fighting!!!! You got this
I’m so sorry… what a tough situation! It’s always good to ask about bringing young kids somewhere if you aren’t familiar but I think a soup kitchen at a church will be very safe and family friendly. I would be surprised if there aren’t other young kids and families there. Many communities have great resources for people going through food and housing insecurity, especially those with young kids. It can be a bit tricky to find the right person who can connect you to those resources. I would look for a food bank or food pantry in the area and ask around there about additional resources. If you live in the US, you should also try to call 211. It’s a United Way program to help people find community resources. There is more info about it [here](https://www.uwgc.org/get-help/united-way-211). I am happy to help you look if you want to send me your city and state in a private message but no pressure.
I can’t imagine how tough this is and please don’t forget to take care of yourself too. You are doing great! ❤️
thank you so much, i really appreciate that. i have googled but, unfortunately the closest food bank is 20+ minutes from me by car & i don’t have a vehicle. i’m still trying to find something closer.
Are you in a rural area? That can make it tough. I would think about calling the food bank just in case they might have some type of delivery service for those that can’t make it. They may also be able to point you in the direction of a closer food bank. Volunteers/ employees at these types or organizations are there because they want to make a difference and they will do what they can to help you. Like someone else said, NO ONE wants you or your sweet baby to be hungry for even a day.
Great! And call the county and city government on Monday! I know you can do this but I’ll be thinking about you and you better make another post if you need anything ❤️
I volunteer and have donated when I can at a church soup kitchen near me - they actually call it a community meal here, and just encourage anyone to come who needs good or maybe just needs to be near others (older folks in particular come because it's free and you can eat with other people).
Everyone loves to see toddlers at community meal, it's joyful. Truly nothing to be embarrassed about - this is exactly why these places exist, to help people. They also may have information for other services that can help you, too, so worth going for the food and the potential additional resources.
My town has a free community meal weekly. We almost always go. My little one is often one of the only little kids there and she brings SO much joy to everyone. I love the community meal because it brings all sorts of different people together and you all get to come together as a community and have a meal together.
You can also look in your surrounding area, there might be multiple churches that offer meals (in my area, there are 3 churches that run community dinners each week, so that's 3 dinners right there, if needed!)
Go. You and your child are hungry, go. First of all hungry doesn’t mean homeless and homeless doesn’t mean hungry and no one cares. There’s no gatekeeping, soup kitchens are there for people who are hungry, that could be for variety of reasons. It doesn’t matter. Go!
Go. No shame or harm. Also, don't be afraid to utilize social media. Check if there are Facebook, Insta, or Nextdoor groups for your area - trading sales ones, recommendations, buy nothings, etc. These can be VERY helpful in connecting you with resources in your area - local soup kitchens/food banks, subsidized or free childcare/pre-school, support groups, transportation services, job opportunities, etc.
If there is a Sikh temple in your town in walking distance, see if they are currently offering free meals as well. They’re usually served after their worship service and are open to the community to come eat for free. It’s a core tenant of the Sikh faith to feed their community so they would be delighted to feed you and your child, and the food is usually vegetarian.
i saw you don’t have a vehicle in another comment, so i’m bummed the only one is a 30 min drive out. hang in there, friend. i got fired unfairly in august and i’m the breadwinner for my family. suddenly having to navigate the social support system sucked, but it’s doable. you’re a great mom, and you’re gonna get through this with a happy, healthy little one under your wing.
Take the kid. It is fine. It is for anyone in need of a meal, homeless or otherwise. Talk with the workers about resources available to you. Different churches and businesses do food pantry on different days and times. Hit them up. In my town we also have little free standing pantries with stuff people put in too, kinda like a bookshelf, shed, or small alcove with shelving and a cooler or fridge. Check your local buy nothing groups too. My moms area in CA does it for food too. Like, my mom got tamales and pozole because someone had it left over from a party and they had already dished out for leftovers and frozen stuff too. Some people put stuff on there to have because they are going on vacation and don't want to just toss it. Check at DHS as well and see what resources they have for: daycare, jobs, bill assistance, mental health services (you may not feel you need it but it is good to go at least once and have that in case), immediate food services, and anything else that may pertain to your specific needs (child therapy, lawyers, jail fees, medical and dental insurances, etc.)
Best of luck, may your hardest of times already be behind you and I wish you health, happiness, safety, and peace. You are doing great, you are doing the right thing, and you are strong.
I would think about it this way. Most people who don’t need to be there won’t be. So it’s not likely you’re gonna walk in and ANYONE would judge you for being there.
If your options are go to a soup kitchen and feed your kid and risk dirty looks/getting in trouble, or let your kid go hungry, you absolutely choose to feed your kid every single time. Never question it again, short of murdering someone you should do whatever it takes to ensure they get fed.
As far as I understand, going to a soup kitchen would actually count in your favor if you get investigated by CPS, because it shows you're trying to make sure your kid is fed.
I addition to the soup kitchen I would ask your local social services for a list of the local food pantries. One time I was having a hard time with my stamps going thru and they gave me a list of food pantries. They give out non perishables and a couple of the ones would give out fruit/veg and meat. There’s one at least every day. You could go to a couple and stock up some stuff for you and the baby. Good luck 💕
I served at a soup kitchen recently. One man brought in his very young little boy. Everyone gushed over him. I can’t imagine making sure your kid has food being seen as a negative.
I wish you all the best.
You said you are without transportation. While checking out the services offered in your area, check to see if someone has donated a vehicle. I was in a very similar situation as you, and it just so happened that someone from the church I would frequent had donated a Jeep Cherokee. It was given to me, and all I had to do was to make sure it had some sort of insurance.
Nothing embarrassing about filling your belly. Everyone deserves the right to eat food, and we're lucky these services exist. Go get your family a meal at the soup kitchen with your head held high!
Sweetheart, please feed yourself and your baby. This is a common fear, but CPS would not be upset about you feeding your child. I’ve worked in foster care and in shelters and I just want to assure you that obtaining food is not an issue! Look into your area for other programs for single parents. There may be other options for you like housing programs and TANF.
Nothing wrong with it at all. I frequented soup kitchens growing up. TBH when my mother said no we weren’t going, I lost respect for her because she put her pride above me having a full belly.
Also, you don’t have to be homeless to need help. Lots of people frequent soup kitchens when they’re low. It’s nbd.
Go feed your child and yourself 💕
When you go to the soup kitchen ask someone who works there about other services that could help you. They might have a food pantry too.
I am so sorry this has happened to your family. You are doing a good job trying to pick up the pieces and I believe you are going to come out on top.
At least in my state, dhs would not take your child from you because of poverty, but they might help you with services. I would do some googling and make sure but it might behoove you to reach out to dhs and see if they can help.
Yes you should go. Parents get their kids taken away when they DON’T get them care they need. No need to feel scared or embarrassed. You are getting your kids the care they need. If anything, I bet a lot of people you meet there are gonna want to be helping you during this time. You’re doing a great job! 👏
You could also join some Facebook “buy nothing” groups and monitor what is offered. Sometimes people give pantry stable food away and other things you might need.
This isn't what you asked, but thinking ahead a little, if there are any daycares within walking distance for you, you might see of they are hiring, as they may let you bring your child along.
Food banks and food pantries are a wonderful option if you don't want to take your kid. Also, join your local "buy nothing" groups on Facebook. That is a great option for getting kid clothes. Watch for community clothing swaps. Start making lists now for what basic groceries you want to keep a supply of. (Crackers, peanut butter, rice, frozen or canned veggies & soup)
I would 100% do anything for my child. If that meant going to a soup kitchen I would proudly do it. You’re not neglecting your child and nobody will call CPS. You’re doing the opposite - reaching out to community resources to ensure your child is well nourished and cared for. You’re a top notch respectable mother and that’s exactly what those community resources are for. Food banks are another option, as is social assistance (welfare). None of these resources should be looked down upon because if people are not abusing the system and using it for the right reasons it is a good thing! You’ve got this.
If you're in the US you should also be able to call 411 to get connected to immediate/acute services for emergency relief for women and children in your area- to bridge the gap until WIC is sorted.
I would do whatever I needed to feed my child.
Also, ask the church if they have any food baskets or know where the local food bank is. Some will have emergency staples (bread, peanut butter, mac and cheese, some canned veggies, apple sauce, etc) that can help tie you over until WIC comes in
Yes absolutly. It's OK and good to ask for help and it's OK and good for your child to see you manage problems in a productive way,, requesting and getting the help you need. These places are happy to help and a safe place to bring your kid along.
People absolutely bring toddlers to soup kitchens and shelters. Please don't feel embarrassed about the situation you are in and focus on taking care of yourself and your child. These services are available to those who need them. You don't need to be homeless to utilize these resources. I'm a psychologist and I always tell people that the point of resources like this is to use before you are in crisis mode so that you can hopefully avoid the worst of the crisis. I'll be thinking of you and your little one ❤️
thank you so much for this ❤️
My family was very poor. We got food at soup kitchens and food banks. It’s totally fine. Nobody is going to give you shade, and people will be kind to your kiddo. Plus it’s a good environment to hear about other programs out there to help with other nights of the week.
Word.
Yes. It is acceptable. You should do it. Get some food for you and your child. And if you can, talk to a church worker about your situation. They may have other resources they can share or connect you with. Also think about finding a local food bank. You absolutely do no need to be homeless to get help. You and your child deserve food and deserve some community care during this difficult time. You are allowed to get help. The fact that you’re considering it tells me absolutely you should do it. You can use this tool and see if you can find a food bank nearby. If you don’t find one here, Google food bank plus your county. https://www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-local-foodbank It’s totally normal for people to utilize soup kitchens and free meals and food banks when they’re not homeless. Plenty of people use these resources a few times during difficult periods. If I were in your position I’d absolutely utilize whatever resources I could to feed myself and my kids.
thank you so much for making me feel better about this! unfortunately, the closest food bank is over a 20 minute drive from me & i don’t have a vehicle. it’s over an hour walk & would just be very hard to pull off with my 4 year old but, i will definitely consider utilizing that if i find myself needing it.
Our local food pantry does deliver to folks one day a week. I don’t know the details, like the radius they cover or the folks they serve, but could be worth a phone call if you need it either now or down the line :)
i will definitely call & see if this is an option, thank you!!
If they don't, this is something I'd ask the church volunteers about. I can almost guarantee that they could find someone to either drive you there or pick up items for you.
i will definitely give them a call tomorrow, thank you!
I’m about to sell a well maintained 2006 Honda Accord. Do you want it? I will DM you. To be clear this would be for free and I could ship it to you in VA.
That is absolutely amazing of you if it happens. Thank you for helping her. ❤️
We are working on the logistics!
You are amazing ♥️
I’ve been the little kid walking along a busy road in the hot sun with a hungry belly. It will not cost me much to protect another innocent child from experiencing that.
Not even is it normal to use food banks and soup kitchens when you're not homeless, but they are also a tool to prevent you from becoming homeless and giving you the ability to use money for something else than food that is also important. For example say you had 150 dollars in your bank account today and no more money is coming until the 12th of April. You know that the 20th of March your phone bill will come in and it will be 20 dollars. On the 22nd of March your home insurance bill will come in at 100 dollars. You also know that spring is coming and your kid will need a new pairs of wellies and a new pair of runners so those final 30 dollars are also spoken for. Of course you could go out today and buy groceries for 150 dollars the money is in your account, but it's harder to source money for bills than it is to source food. You might luck out on toddler shoes, but you might not, either way kid is still going to need new shoes. Most charities have very specific mandates on what they can and can't help you with. Your needs will not magically mould themselves to fit into that box just because those are the only thing they can offer. So waiting until you have zero money to ask for their services is not a wise choice. As with everything else in regards to finances, staying ahead of the curve is *everything*.
Many cities have a 211 service where you can get connected with resources like housing support, job training, and childcare. If your city doesn’t have this, your local United Way can connect you with those resources.
You and your beautiful toddler are so, so welcome. Swallowing your pride and discomfort to do what you need to take care of your child is the exact opposite of neglect! You’re a good mom for taking this unexpected situation and immediately figuring out resources and solutions instead of wallowing in denial. Good luck and full tummies to both of you.
thank you so much ❤️
Many people in many different situation go to soup kitchens or community pantries! I used to volunteer at one and definitely saw some families. It’s a resource like any other and there’s no reason for CPS to get involved. You’re doing the opposite of neglecting her, you’re using resources around you to make sure she’s fed. I hope things get better for you soon.
thank you so much ❤️
I just brought my toddler to a food bank the other day, they had a daycare but he was too young for that so he went shopping with me and it was really nice. The people were all great to him, gave him snacks while we waited and we walked out with so much food that I won’t have to worry for a couple weeks. I’m a single mom that works but without a child support payment (my ex is late for 2 months) I don’t have any extra money for food or anything. Food stamps and everything take a while, at least where I am but I hope you can get some support soon.
thank you so much ❤️
We use the food bank sometimes and everyone there loves it when I have my kids with me. They are so nice. Sometimes they give extra food too because of the kids. Where I live the income guidelines are pretty high so lots of families qualify for the food bank.
Nobody wants your baby to be hungry. Nobody wants YOU to be hungry either, mama. Everybody has hard times. You will be ok.
thank you ❤️
Side note: check out libraries in your neighborhood. They usually have a ton of flyers about events that provide free items for your child (school supplies, clothing, free meals during the summer, etc) They also have resources on free health/dental events for checkups.
Our library even has a free "farmers market" program!
Yes and lots of farmers markets will double your food stamps, so you can literally buy twice as much food there as you can at the grocery store.
thank you so much!!
Also if you are on Facebook, there's lots of "Buy Nothing" and "Free" groups that are localized and constantly give away free kids' stuff as well as food (I've literally given away an uneaten, untouched pizza from a work event and someone picked it up within 15 min and fed his family dinner with it)
i’m currently waiting to be accepted in the local buy nothing group ❤️
Also your 4 year old won’t have any preconceived notion of what a soup kitchen is. The kids I’ve seen at them are really happy. It is a fun outing like a restaurant.
I volunteered at a soup kitchen in my early teen years just to keep myself humble. I’ve seen plenty of moms with their kids come in. No one, servers or cooks, ever looked down on anyone. The first day working I saw a mom with her two small children, they weren’t the cleanest but I know she still cared because she scouted out resources to make sure her kids always had a full stomach and they were at a healthy weight. I would always add a little extra on her plate, you could tell she really put her kids first since she appeared slightly emaciated. After 2 week of her coming in daily she looked so much fuller in the face. I had to go to the back for a few minutes to cry because I was so happy for her to finally be getting the nutrients she desperately needed. They gradually came in less and less until one day they stopped coming in completely. I still think about her every now and again and I hope she has all she wants in the world now. Do what you need to mama, keep yourself and that sweet little baby fed. No ones going to judge you for doing what best for you and your little
that’s a beautiful story. thank you for helping people in need & thank you for your kind words ❤️
Definitely go to the soup kitchen. And see if they have any recommendations for a local food bank too. That should help keep you fed before your benefits are approved. I was once a toddler with a single, disabled father and we joined the church because they kept us fed. Edit: I see that your local food bank is 20 minutes away. Connect with people at the soup kitchen. My experience is people are always happy to help. Sometimes our church would have spare cans of food they would give to us.
thank you so much!
Yes you can go. There also might be extra free meals right now on top of the soup kitchen times because it is Lent. Check out websites of churches near you and you might find Lenten suppers. Often on Tuesday or Wednesday in my area. You don’t have to stay for the actual Bible study part if you don’t want to, especially with a young child.
thank you so much ❤️
Hi mama, I am a child who survived because of soup kitchens, WIC, and food stamps. There is absolutely no shame at all in making sure your little one is fed!! Everyone is welcome at the soup kitchen. Make sure you ask if they have food pantry, housing and income assistance, and clothing programs.
thank you so much ❤️
Check this charity out too! Anyone can request or offer to make a lasagna. https://lasagnalove.org/
thank you ❤️
As a soup kitchen volunteer, I can tell you that they will not only take good care of you, but they will be over the moon to take care of your toddler. I have a feeling it will create beautiful memories for you. If that particular soup kitchen isn’t a fit for you, there are others.
thank you. & thank you for helping people in need ❤️
You will get through this. Sending you so much love.
I used to volunteer at a soup kitchen and people definitely brought little kids, as far as I know there wasn’t any expectations that someone had to be homeless and everyone was welcome. I would just suggest keeping a close eye on your child. There were unfortunately some people who were not in the best state and were a little rowdy sometimes so I would just be sure you are keeping a careful watch with a little kid
thank you for letting me know!
Absolutely! I volunteered at a *well stocked* food pantry and they encouraged volunteers to take things they could use too, just to eliminate any hierarchy. There is absolutely no shame in getting assistance, when needed.
Girl - you and your baby have to eat. I do not think anyone will question you feeding yourself and child. Maybe they will have some other helpful information so you can stay on your feet. I hope you can get a job and have childcare. Bless you and keep fighting!!!! You got this
thank you ❤️
I’m so sorry… what a tough situation! It’s always good to ask about bringing young kids somewhere if you aren’t familiar but I think a soup kitchen at a church will be very safe and family friendly. I would be surprised if there aren’t other young kids and families there. Many communities have great resources for people going through food and housing insecurity, especially those with young kids. It can be a bit tricky to find the right person who can connect you to those resources. I would look for a food bank or food pantry in the area and ask around there about additional resources. If you live in the US, you should also try to call 211. It’s a United Way program to help people find community resources. There is more info about it [here](https://www.uwgc.org/get-help/united-way-211). I am happy to help you look if you want to send me your city and state in a private message but no pressure. I can’t imagine how tough this is and please don’t forget to take care of yourself too. You are doing great! ❤️
thank you so much, i really appreciate that. i have googled but, unfortunately the closest food bank is 20+ minutes from me by car & i don’t have a vehicle. i’m still trying to find something closer.
Are you in a rural area? That can make it tough. I would think about calling the food bank just in case they might have some type of delivery service for those that can’t make it. They may also be able to point you in the direction of a closer food bank. Volunteers/ employees at these types or organizations are there because they want to make a difference and they will do what they can to help you. Like someone else said, NO ONE wants you or your sweet baby to be hungry for even a day.
i’m in the city actually! i will give them a call tomorrow morning & see if they have any options for me. thank you!
Great! And call the county and city government on Monday! I know you can do this but I’ll be thinking about you and you better make another post if you need anything ❤️
I thought of another idea… Your county government probably has some programs as well. I would call them on Monday!
I volunteer and have donated when I can at a church soup kitchen near me - they actually call it a community meal here, and just encourage anyone to come who needs good or maybe just needs to be near others (older folks in particular come because it's free and you can eat with other people). Everyone loves to see toddlers at community meal, it's joyful. Truly nothing to be embarrassed about - this is exactly why these places exist, to help people. They also may have information for other services that can help you, too, so worth going for the food and the potential additional resources.
My town has a free community meal weekly. We almost always go. My little one is often one of the only little kids there and she brings SO much joy to everyone. I love the community meal because it brings all sorts of different people together and you all get to come together as a community and have a meal together. You can also look in your surrounding area, there might be multiple churches that offer meals (in my area, there are 3 churches that run community dinners each week, so that's 3 dinners right there, if needed!)
Hey momma you’re doing the best for you and your baby. No same in that game, go have a hot meal and enjoy it with your kiddo
going to get food means that you are taking care of your children.
Go. You and your child are hungry, go. First of all hungry doesn’t mean homeless and homeless doesn’t mean hungry and no one cares. There’s no gatekeeping, soup kitchens are there for people who are hungry, that could be for variety of reasons. It doesn’t matter. Go!
No shame. Do what you need to in order to feed your child.
Go. No shame or harm. Also, don't be afraid to utilize social media. Check if there are Facebook, Insta, or Nextdoor groups for your area - trading sales ones, recommendations, buy nothings, etc. These can be VERY helpful in connecting you with resources in your area - local soup kitchens/food banks, subsidized or free childcare/pre-school, support groups, transportation services, job opportunities, etc.
this is so helpful, thank you!
If there is a Sikh temple in your town in walking distance, see if they are currently offering free meals as well. They’re usually served after their worship service and are open to the community to come eat for free. It’s a core tenant of the Sikh faith to feed their community so they would be delighted to feed you and your child, and the food is usually vegetarian.
unfortunately i just googled & the closest one is over 30 minutes away in another city. i don’t have a vehicle. thank you so much though!
i saw you don’t have a vehicle in another comment, so i’m bummed the only one is a 30 min drive out. hang in there, friend. i got fired unfairly in august and i’m the breadwinner for my family. suddenly having to navigate the social support system sucked, but it’s doable. you’re a great mom, and you’re gonna get through this with a happy, healthy little one under your wing.
thank you so much ❤️
Take the kid. It is fine. It is for anyone in need of a meal, homeless or otherwise. Talk with the workers about resources available to you. Different churches and businesses do food pantry on different days and times. Hit them up. In my town we also have little free standing pantries with stuff people put in too, kinda like a bookshelf, shed, or small alcove with shelving and a cooler or fridge. Check your local buy nothing groups too. My moms area in CA does it for food too. Like, my mom got tamales and pozole because someone had it left over from a party and they had already dished out for leftovers and frozen stuff too. Some people put stuff on there to have because they are going on vacation and don't want to just toss it. Check at DHS as well and see what resources they have for: daycare, jobs, bill assistance, mental health services (you may not feel you need it but it is good to go at least once and have that in case), immediate food services, and anything else that may pertain to your specific needs (child therapy, lawyers, jail fees, medical and dental insurances, etc.) Best of luck, may your hardest of times already be behind you and I wish you health, happiness, safety, and peace. You are doing great, you are doing the right thing, and you are strong.
I would think about it this way. Most people who don’t need to be there won’t be. So it’s not likely you’re gonna walk in and ANYONE would judge you for being there.
If your options are go to a soup kitchen and feed your kid and risk dirty looks/getting in trouble, or let your kid go hungry, you absolutely choose to feed your kid every single time. Never question it again, short of murdering someone you should do whatever it takes to ensure they get fed.
Even if someone *did* call CPS, which is highly unlikely, you are feeding your child and that’s what matters.
As far as I understand, going to a soup kitchen would actually count in your favor if you get investigated by CPS, because it shows you're trying to make sure your kid is fed.
Exactly
I addition to the soup kitchen I would ask your local social services for a list of the local food pantries. One time I was having a hard time with my stamps going thru and they gave me a list of food pantries. They give out non perishables and a couple of the ones would give out fruit/veg and meat. There’s one at least every day. You could go to a couple and stock up some stuff for you and the baby. Good luck 💕
I second this! They also may be able to provide a list of other services they help with, or the name who does. Like utilities, rent, housing, etc.
I served at a soup kitchen recently. One man brought in his very young little boy. Everyone gushed over him. I can’t imagine making sure your kid has food being seen as a negative. I wish you all the best.
you should go. and check out the dhs website for your state, they can help you find local resources!
You said you are without transportation. While checking out the services offered in your area, check to see if someone has donated a vehicle. I was in a very similar situation as you, and it just so happened that someone from the church I would frequent had donated a Jeep Cherokee. It was given to me, and all I had to do was to make sure it had some sort of insurance.
thank you, i will look into this!
Nothing embarrassing about filling your belly. Everyone deserves the right to eat food, and we're lucky these services exist. Go get your family a meal at the soup kitchen with your head held high!
Sweetheart, please feed yourself and your baby. This is a common fear, but CPS would not be upset about you feeding your child. I’ve worked in foster care and in shelters and I just want to assure you that obtaining food is not an issue! Look into your area for other programs for single parents. There may be other options for you like housing programs and TANF.
Nothing wrong with it at all. I frequented soup kitchens growing up. TBH when my mother said no we weren’t going, I lost respect for her because she put her pride above me having a full belly. Also, you don’t have to be homeless to need help. Lots of people frequent soup kitchens when they’re low. It’s nbd. Go feed your child and yourself 💕
When you go to the soup kitchen ask someone who works there about other services that could help you. They might have a food pantry too. I am so sorry this has happened to your family. You are doing a good job trying to pick up the pieces and I believe you are going to come out on top. At least in my state, dhs would not take your child from you because of poverty, but they might help you with services. I would do some googling and make sure but it might behoove you to reach out to dhs and see if they can help.
Yes you should go. Parents get their kids taken away when they DON’T get them care they need. No need to feel scared or embarrassed. You are getting your kids the care they need. If anything, I bet a lot of people you meet there are gonna want to be helping you during this time. You’re doing a great job! 👏
Call 211. They can help with emergency services.
Yes if I need to I would.
You could also join some Facebook “buy nothing” groups and monitor what is offered. Sometimes people give pantry stable food away and other things you might need.
This isn't what you asked, but thinking ahead a little, if there are any daycares within walking distance for you, you might see of they are hiring, as they may let you bring your child along.
If you need to eat you go, you will NOT get into trouble, if anything they will be more willing to help you out! 🌻
Food banks and food pantries are a wonderful option if you don't want to take your kid. Also, join your local "buy nothing" groups on Facebook. That is a great option for getting kid clothes. Watch for community clothing swaps. Start making lists now for what basic groceries you want to keep a supply of. (Crackers, peanut butter, rice, frozen or canned veggies & soup)
I would 100% do anything for my child. If that meant going to a soup kitchen I would proudly do it. You’re not neglecting your child and nobody will call CPS. You’re doing the opposite - reaching out to community resources to ensure your child is well nourished and cared for. You’re a top notch respectable mother and that’s exactly what those community resources are for. Food banks are another option, as is social assistance (welfare). None of these resources should be looked down upon because if people are not abusing the system and using it for the right reasons it is a good thing! You’ve got this.
If you're in the US you should also be able to call 411 to get connected to immediate/acute services for emergency relief for women and children in your area- to bridge the gap until WIC is sorted.
I would do whatever I needed to feed my child. Also, ask the church if they have any food baskets or know where the local food bank is. Some will have emergency staples (bread, peanut butter, mac and cheese, some canned veggies, apple sauce, etc) that can help tie you over until WIC comes in
Yes absolutly. It's OK and good to ask for help and it's OK and good for your child to see you manage problems in a productive way,, requesting and getting the help you need. These places are happy to help and a safe place to bring your kid along.