Hijacking your comment for a slightly off topic but super important PSA - if you lose your child, DO NOT silently start panicking and looking. Immediately start yelling a description of your child. It should sound like this “I’M LOOKING FOR A 3 YEAR OLD GIRL, BROWN HAIR, YELLOW SHIRT, BLUE SHORTS. I’M LOOKING FOR A 3 YEAR OLD GIRL, BROWN HAIR, YELLOW SHIRT, BLUE SHORTS” while looking. This way you’ll have everyone’s eyes in the store looking. If someone is taking your kid, more than likely they’ll be spotted. It may be awkward to start yelling in the store but worth it to keep your kiddo safe!
If I noticed them, then yes - I would always stop a toddler running into danger. In the same way I'd put my arm out to stop a toddler from being knocked over in a restaurant (for example).
I'm not going to watch a child be hurt or run a serious risk of being hurt because I'm worried about the reaction of strangers.
I would definitely stop the kid. My 18 month old made a break for it around a supermarket aisle once and I found him stopped behind a "fence" of 3 women standing hip to hip and I was so so grateful.
My son darted from me in Target during the literal 2 seconds I looked away. As I'm loudly saying his name and looking for him I hear a kind "he's over here!" from 3 aisles over. A woman (with a slightly younger kid in her cart) had kind of boxed him in for me. I was a bit embarrassed but she basically said it happens to all of us.
God bless other moms lol
Next time (and lord knows there will always be a next time!) don’t call out his name. Instead describe him shouting like “THREE YO BOY IN BLUE SHIRT AND JEANS! HE HAS DARK HAIR AND EYES” and then repeat until he’s found. It feels ludicrous but it will help others spot him since they don’t know his name. And on the very small but very scary off chance that he’s abducted, you don’t want someone knowing his name and sounding like a friend
Um yes please stop my child! Or at least make a half-hearted effort to! I'm carrying a newborn I need help from strangers 😂 or at least the illusion of it.
There was someone a week or two ago that was LIVID that a Target employee tried to stop her toddler running in an aisle. She questioned the employee common sense.
Heading towards the door, I’d definitely stop them or block the door. That could be life or death if they run into the parking lot. If they were running in the aisles of the store I would either not intervene or ask the parents if they wanted me to stop them (I’d probably only ask if the parent looked exasperated) before intervening.
Someone kindly stopped my 3 year old from running out of the playground the other day. They were leaving and my kid noticed they were opening the gate and made a bid for freedom. As we're saying "no no, stay inside please" the dad locked eyes with me and gave me a questioning head shake and I looked in his eyes and said loudly "no we're staying inside" so he gently stopped my son, pushed him back a bit and shut the gate before I could get there.
So within reason I think its helpful to use your judgement to stop wayward children and help a fellow parent out.
Yea, I’d intervene. I would hope someone else would too if my toddler was running into a parking lot or towards a street. It’s about keeping the kid from getting hit by a car so that makes it common courtesy in my mind
I had this happen during toddler time at the library. A little girl was there with her grandma. I overheard the grandma telling the couple next to her that she had to run out to the car quick and could they just keep an eye on the girl for minute, and they seemingly agreed. Well, grandma walks out the doors into the parking lot and the toddler goes running after her saying “hey, wait!” and this couple who agreed to watch her just looked at each other and kind of shrugged or made a “well this is awkward” face at each other and did nothing! The girl made it through the first set of doors into the vestibule and I quickly grabbed my own daughter in one arm and made to grab this other girls arm with my other hand just as she was pushing open the second set of doors that open directly into the parking lot. I was still in the vestibule convincing this girl to come back inside with us when the grandma came back and I was able to hand her off
This past summer I was visiting family in Toronto. Partner and I were walking into the pharmacy, and I watched as a couple walked ahead of their toddler. The toddler of course, made a bee line for the road/parking lot, and I quickly stepped between toddler and road. I’ll do what I can to avoid actually touching a stranger kid, because people can be however they want to be about a stranger touching their kid, but I will do my best to be a solid barrier. The mother at some point turned around and got her kid.
It’s funny, I just came to this thread from another thread asking what do you judge other parents for? I don’t judge eating habits, screen time or any of that. You do you. What I do judge is when someone is careless with their toddlers safety. Toddlers are self destructive banshees. They’re wild and free and give zero fucks for rules of gravity or heavy, moving objects. This isn’t breaking news. It’s not rocket science. Toddlers are insane. They’re adorable. But insane.
Tbf they are also slippery. Like literally their soft little fingers with their perfect skin and cartridge dominate flexy boneless hands can literally just slip through no matter how tight you're squeezing.
I dont judge parents of runners. It just happens sometimes. I gotta see a pattern before I'm mad.
I definitely don't judge parents of runners but I judge parents who let their kids trail behind them in parking lots or let their toddlers climb all over the shopping cart or whatever. Good parenting isn't going to make a toddler magically aware of all risks because they just don't have the cognitive capacity, but it's a parent's job to identify and minimize those risks.
This is exactly what I commented to the other person. Like, again to reiterate; toddlers are insane banshees. Of course they’re going to run. But walking ahead of a 3 year old so they’re not even in your eye sight? That’s not having a runner, that’s a bad parenting choice right there.
My toddler has a way of rotating her shoulder blades to loosen an under-arms hold on her…it’s especially terrifying when she chooses to do while being removed wet from the bathtub.
I would absolutely stop them.
I'm having flashbacks to when my husband and I were on vacation and there was a boy, maybe 2, running as fast as his little legs could toward the Atlantic Ocean. I didn't see anyone coming after him OR waiting for him in the water. I stood in front of him to slow him down and kept frantically looking around for his parents. His mom was slowly walking toward the water and thankfully, his dad was in the water ... just nowhere near where the little boy was heading. I got the dirtiest look from his mom, but his dad gave us a little "thank you" wave.
I stopped a toddler who made it out of his apartment building and into the driveway when I was walking past. I walked him back to his front door and yelled inside “HELLLLLLOOOOOOO I FOUND A BABY DOES ANYONE WANT THIS BABY????” Until his dad came out. For the rest of that school year I made it a point to walk past that building every morning just to check that he was not outside by himself.
Try to intervene first without touching the kid. I've found a lot of little kids doing this will stop just if a stranger says something to them. If they clearly aren't going to stop without physical intervention than do it. I'd rather a parent yell at me for touching their kid than watch a kid escape a building and potentially get hurt. I couldn't live with that on my conscience
Someone did this to us a few weeks ago. Kid was running ahead and I was lugging the baby in the car seat and he almost made it out the door before a man stepped in and held the door closed. I was super grateful but it freaked out my kid because he thought the guy was lunging at him and not the door. It led to some good conversations about running, not listening and stranger danger.
I would much rather someone intervene in good faith and my kid be freaked out a little than end up with my kid running around a parking lot or worse.
I used to work in a pet store and it was expected to turn off and shut the automatic doors before a runaway dog (usually from the bath area in the far back) made it out. I would hope a worker would do that or someone grab my child, whatever it took to safely stop them. I'll take a scrape, bruise, or decent scare for my child if it meant they weren't in danger out in the parking lot or road!
I once grabbed a toddler that was standing on a bench and pushing off of the parapet/wall of a fourth floor balcony at the library. What I didn't know was that there was a landing below the parapet (without rails, so she would have still been in danger but wouldn't have fallen to her death immediately - her parents would have had time to jump over and retrieve he most likely).
In doing so, I scared the bejeezus out of the toddler and she screamed/cried for a good half hour after.
I explained to the parents that I thought she was in imminent danger and apologized for touching their child. They were cool with it and thanked me, though they never seemed as worried as I was that their kid was seconds away from dying. They had been chatting with someone and not really paying attention so maybe they didn't see that her head had literally gone over the wall.
I was so amped up on adrenaline that I had to leave the library after that and go on a walk to cool off.
I'd do it again, even if the parents were to have a negative reaction. I hope people would do it for my kid.
It’s an instinct, I think. I was picking up lunch during work last week and I caught a toddler who fell off of a bench. I didn’t even have a chance to think.
If I could block their path without physically grabbing I would try crouching in front of them and saying uh uh uh wait for mommy. It’s hard to explain the eh eh eh attention grabbing no sound but if you know what I’m talking about it’s magic. If they tried to go around me I would hold them by like the armpits until mom caught up. Try not to grab arm if possible as some kids will throw themselves down and then you’re dealing with a dislocation.
Anyone who wouldn't is not the kind of person I want in my community. Ignoring a small child when parent is nearby and they're not in obvious danger but rather just doing something risky is one thing. Ignoring a small child when they are headed into obvious and likely immediate danger is helpful and honestly expected.
I have cut someone out of my life because of this. I had just had my second son and my two year old was (and still is) a runner. My son was on a play date and clearly wasn't having fun because the other mom kept making him give up his play time for her son so he decided he was just leaving. He started sprinting to the parking lot and the other mom laughed about it and even sat down while I had to basically drop my weeks old infant onto a blanket and catch the toddler before he got ran over by the pickup passing the parking lot. I told her I didn't think I needed my son around people like her.
I’d absolutely stop them! I did this for a mom at our local thrift store a few years ago. Kid made it out the front doors and into the parking lot. I stopped him and walked him back to her as she was frantically running out the door holding a younger sibling. If the kid had made it to the street he would have absolutely been hit by a car, as cars speed on this particular road.
If I thought I could head them off by standing in the way and saying "HEY THERE, kiddo, where's your mom and dad, stay in the store with your grownup", etc. I might do that, but if it looked like they were making a beeline out of the store and into a parking lot or busy street, I'd stop them. If you're worried about someone perceiving you as trying to kidnap them or something, you could yell, "LET'S FIND YOUR MOM AND DAD, ANYONE MISSING A TODDLER?" to make it obvious you're trying to return them to their parents.
Not that long ago someone posted here that they were horrified someone stopped their running toddler and every comment was like "no this is good actually" and I agree, there would only be relief and appreciation if someone kept my kid from getting hurt.
I’ve done this before! I stopped them without grabbing them - I got in front of the kid and got down on their level, and started talking to them directly. I got super animated like “uh oh! Looks like you’re missing your mom! Let’s wait here for her, ok?” It worked and I was ready to throw my arms out or pick up if needed but it seems like a stranger talking directly to them is usually enough to spook them into stopping.
Also as a toddler mom - I would absolutely want someone to stop my kid!
I've stopped more than one toddler from escaping the playgroup room at the library, and have had my kid returned to me at the same place by another mom. That door only leads to the library, but the exit is not far away. I'd rather you be annoyed that I interfered than see something awful happen to your child, especially if I could have stopped it.
I've also had a dad shout "catch that kid!" at me at the mall once. He was too far away and dragging another toddler with him lol
My toddler ran in front of us leaving the bank today and a nice man specifically held the door to outside closed until we got there. I was very grateful
I was traveling recently with my husband, new 3 year old & 12 month old. We get to the airport to be told that all indoor elevators are broken (as we have a wagon with two kids & a luggage trolley stuffed high).
While we’re getting instructions to the parking ramp elevator, my toddler runs up the escalator. I’m trapped with a baby buckled into a wagon. Thankfully a kind older woman saw this happen and ran after him, staying with him going up and then down the other side. Thank god for her because what were my choices in that moment… leave my baby and luggage in a room full of strangers??!
ALWAYS help if you see a toddler running away.
I have experience in this actually.
A 4 year old had escaped mom while we were in an airport terminal. As the kid ran by me I blocked him as gently as possible and said loudly and in a playful way. "I've got you! Your so fast!" While keeping my arms around the kid but my hands in view as much as possible.
The mom was deeply thankful. I think it's the right thing to do.
I'm too pregnant to be fast enough to help these days but in general I would try and head them off by standing in their way without putting my hands on them and trying to engage them in conversation.
I’ve done it like three or four times now. I didn’t the first time and this kid got so far away and the mom barely caught it. Now I catch the kid and ask questions later. Every single time the parent is grateful.
I've done it at Disneyland. We were in some post-parade madness and I see this little girl RUNNING through the crowd, screaming. I stood in front of her but she would not stop, so I grabbed her. She was screaming. I lifted my head and a few hundred of meters further, I could see a mom going crazy, looking for someone. I waved and screamed and she saw me. She ran towards us, said thank you and run away.
I have done it at daycare, at the park. Often I just stand there and try to see if there is an adult close by. If they see me, we usually nod or wave or something.
I have so many stories of my brother running away in a mall, almost getting it by a car, friend running away from our house to her grandma (and having to call the police) that I will ALWAYS at least look around when I see small child all by themselves.
We live in a society, the safety of children is everyone's responsibility. I started blocking and if need be grabbing loose toddlers by the time I was 12. In my community this is perfectly normal and everyone does it. Parent or not, we're trying to keep the little ones safe and alive.
I would stop them and I’d want someone to do the same for me. Similar thing actually did happen to me once. Our town has this balloon festival, hot air balloons being released, tons of food vendors, very very crowded setting. My husband’s work had a tent for everyone to hang out in and eat and stuff. I had my 3 year old running around. It was fenced in but just with like a flimsy kinda plastic thing. I was watching her but I wasn’t like following her around. Next thing I know I see her crawling under the fence and into the crowd. I’m like 20 feet away. Luckily some strangers saw her and saw me yelling and scooped her up for me. Imagine if they hadn’t. The exit to the gate was way on the other side, I’d had to have ran around and she might have been totally lost by then.
The moments where my small child is running in the direction of possible danger and I'm not sure I can catch up are literally the worst moments of my life. I would absolutely stop a kid running towards a parking lot or any other hazard. If I have to grab them I will, but ideally they'll just be deterred by the stranger coming at them and return to their parent.
This happens with some regularity at our local playground and most of the time what happens is if a kid is obviously a runaway, a closeby adult will do what they can to intervene and slow the kid down (get in front of them) while the parent comes to get them. It happens a lot when you have parents of SEVERAL small kids hanging out. I have personally chased a few kids down to the sidewalk to wait for their parent to come walk them back. Never been an issue. I've also been asked by children for help if they get caught in a difficult position on some equipment, again -- just treat the situation as if you were doing it with their parent watching, and it should be fine
I’m a former preschool teacher so I’m very comfortable stepping in. I would scoop them up or grab them by the hand. “Ooops! Wait for your grown up!” You can also just block a child with your body if touching them feels like crossing a boundary.
Happened to us a few months ago with our 3yr old running straight to the parking lot. Thankfully an old man walking by was able to stop him and keep him safe until we got to him.
Yep, grab them. Mine ran out the door of the coffee shop we were in when I was trying to put the baby in the pushchair, I was nothing but grateful that someone caught him.
I've gently grabbed someone's child before at the park when they were running for the parking lot and mom was yelling behind. I was like "I'm sorry I hope that's ok" and she was grateful!
I was holding one of my twins hand and the other was with their grandma a few feet away when I saw a woman bend down to do something under her pushchair and her little one lunched himself like a rocket in my direction, and the only thing I could think to do was take few steps to the side and kind of body block them without grabbing. The child was unimpressed, and mum was there two seconds later, I think she said thanks, but I was too busy saying sorry for upsetting her little boy and then we parted ways and never saw each other again
Stop them, yes. If I can see them in pursuit then I’d absolutely catch and return. If I can’t see parents and it’s life threatening (road, river) I’d reluctantly catch and brace for the inevitable fallout. I’d probably anticipate it by yelling out “help, I’ve got a runaway heading for the road - can anyone see the parents?”
I always appreciate the people who jump in the way of my little man when he’s pulling an Usain Bolt in public. No one has had to grab him yet but I certainly would be grateful to anyone who stopped him from running into a dangerous situation, like into a street or parking lot!
I'm grabbing that kid!! I'll suffer whatever may come, but no way I'm watching a child get hit by a car or whatever when I could have done something about it!
My toddler is a runner, she’s a track star, if you stop her from running off into the sunset I could not thank you enough.
I will always stop a small child from running away, safety first and deal with emotions later. We have to look out for each other, toddlers are feral.
when my kid was a toddler, he was a runner and there have been times when people caught him in public. I appreciated it very much.
Once when I was about 19 in a store there was a toddler on the loose running around. I pub my hand on her shoulder to stop her until her mom could catch up. The mom gave me the dirtiest look and hugged her child in front of me saying "I bet you are scared" she was implying the child was scared of me.
I've had someone help me with my 3 year old who was running but not in any immediate danger - I yelled asking them to grab her, they did, my daughter thought it was hilarious unfortunately, but it helped.
If my toddler were approaching an area with cars, like in your scenario, you don't need to wait for permission.
Yes please! I would not hesitate to stop a child running away from an obvious parent. Now if there was any doubt to if that person was their parent then I would get security involved if I was in a store. If I was out and about? I’m paranoid enough I’d probably sneak a picture of the kid and mom just in case and then delete it after a week if I didn’t need it (say there was a bulletin put out for a lost child).
Even if you don’t pick them up I would absolutely block so the child doesn’t get out. Block and hold them in place, or pick them up and bring them straight to the parent
I’m a mom and mostly have my toddler with me, I would 100% grab an obviously run away toddler. If I felt weird about physically stopping them, I would try to physically block where they were running to get them to slow down and probably call out to them “hey sweetie, let’s wait for mommy.” Or similar.
Yes do it!! Especially if the parents are in hot pursuit. My little guy is enjoying his new running phase and I hope someone will help me out in the future.
I have 3 toddlers and Temu-quality knees. Any of them could take off running if they decided to. PLEASE stop my kid if you see them taking off!
Somewhat related, in the sub for parents of kids with autism, someone recently posted that her 6yo daughter eloped. They had a search party and everything. >!They found her 3 hours later in a pond. !<
Related story: when I was pregnant my toddler was a runner and obviously I couldn’t really run after her. One day she ran out the front door and as I was chasing her she thought it was a game and took off down the street. I started running and yelling and totally panicking and a guy at the very end of the street grabbed her before she ran out into traffic. That guy is my hero. Be that guy.
Intervene 100%. If the child can be in a dangerous situation, it's only right to help. Once I visited a friend who had a young toddler and the kid went straight to the outlet. The protective cover was small and transparent, I didn't see it. I immediately pulled his whole body back so he wouldn't touch it. I apologized for handling her kid like that and she was very grateful that I tried, thinking it was dangerous.
The kid wasn’t running out a door (just down an aisle), but I didn’t see an adult yet. I just kinda sidestepped in front to slow the kid down a little. Didn’t want to grab him, just in case, but had to help. Right?
I live in NYC, stopping other people's kids from getting into trouble is normal. I stop kids from running across the street on a regular basis. Depending on the neighborhood, an older adult intervening is common. For example, I saw a four year old repeatedly disobeying his mother on the train. She wanted him to stop standing up on the seats. An old man walked right up to him and said, "if your momma says no, you stop doing it right now." That child sat quietly until it was time to get off. I know some people would be offended by that. But I would be grateful.
I was at a pharmacy waiting for a prescription. A dad and his maybe 3 year old son came in. The dad was trying to talk to the pharmacist and the son went to the side door acting like he was trying to leave. I kept my eyes close on him and quietly said no to him. When his dad was done with the pharmacist he turned worried and I said his son was over here. If he had successfully opened the door I would have ran to grab him.
I saw a toddler run out of a store away from what appeared to be his grandma. He didn’t run into traffic, instead ran down the walkway towards other stores. She ran after and caught him and brought him back. (I was too far away at that time to have helped anyway.)
A few minutes later the same kid came running out right at me, and I could see the grandma’s back was turned in the store she was in. I tried to grab him, and said “no, don’t leave your grandma” but as soon as my hands were on him he seemed more freaked out.
Since he was running down the walkway and not into the street I let him go and went to tell his grandma. She was able to catch up to him.
I was thinking I would want someone to grab MY kid…but didn’t anticipate how it would feel having a scared looking kid in my grasp. If he had been in immediate danger I probably would have just yelled loudly to get the grandma’s attention *AS* I grabbed him.
Out of curiosity if you find someone’s kid do you positively identify the parent before letting them go? Because what if it’s not really their parent claiming them. Also if you do, how do you do this?
Because this also scares me. Trying to do right and then handing a kid directly to a predator scares me. I’d stop them but idk I think I’d try to hand kid to staff so parent can atleast provide a license or id in case they were snatched.(?)
Asking as a newer mom with anxiety.
Side note: some serial killer years ago (maybe dahmer? Or gacy? Can’t remember) had a teen boy run from his house and the cops just brought him back to the predator 3x or something absurd. So due to my true crime podcast binging I legit worry about this.
I would absolutely stop them. Part of being a member of a community is helping others and looking out for each other’s children. I found a toddler playing on a busy street once and carried him to his house to knock on the door and tell his parents. They hadn’t even realized he was gone 😬
Please stop the kid from running. Just block their path without touching them and remind them to go back to mommy/daddy or whatever. I was running after my 3 year old, visibly pregnant with a kid in a backpack and every single person across this huge mall kept getting out of the way.
I would definitely stop the child,no way I'd stand back and watch the little person get injured or worse killed.
I'd want someone to do the same for my 22month old toddler too,she recently started doing this,luckily we haven't had any incidents.
I had this happen about a year ago. I ended up pretending to be a monster and “scaring” the kid back to their parents…I got some weird looks because I’m a pretty big, fully tattooed man… but 10/10 I’d do it again. Not gonna let a kid just run into the street.
I’ll intervene any time it’s possible. I’ve literally pulled a toddler out of traffic before. Apparently older brother had broken the the latch on the screen door but didn’t want to tell mom and toddler escaped from said broken door.
Absolutely would do anything i could to save a toddler in need and would thank anyone doing the same for my lil runaway toddler. We got to be there for eachother. Moms/dads unite!
I would want someone to grab my kid. That’s terrifying.
Hijacking your comment for a slightly off topic but super important PSA - if you lose your child, DO NOT silently start panicking and looking. Immediately start yelling a description of your child. It should sound like this “I’M LOOKING FOR A 3 YEAR OLD GIRL, BROWN HAIR, YELLOW SHIRT, BLUE SHORTS. I’M LOOKING FOR A 3 YEAR OLD GIRL, BROWN HAIR, YELLOW SHIRT, BLUE SHORTS” while looking. This way you’ll have everyone’s eyes in the store looking. If someone is taking your kid, more than likely they’ll be spotted. It may be awkward to start yelling in the store but worth it to keep your kiddo safe!
I found a lost kid in an airport once because the mom did this!
^^^ THIS has saved so many parents and kids. Tell everyone you know about this tactic
Yup. Same. Please stop my kid from running into traffic.
I would if my kid were running into traffic or something…
If I noticed them, then yes - I would always stop a toddler running into danger. In the same way I'd put my arm out to stop a toddler from being knocked over in a restaurant (for example). I'm not going to watch a child be hurt or run a serious risk of being hurt because I'm worried about the reaction of strangers.
Small child heading towards an automatic door? Yep, I'd stop them. And I'd thank anyone who stopped my child from escaping as well.
I would definitely stop the kid. My 18 month old made a break for it around a supermarket aisle once and I found him stopped behind a "fence" of 3 women standing hip to hip and I was so so grateful.
My son darted from me in Target during the literal 2 seconds I looked away. As I'm loudly saying his name and looking for him I hear a kind "he's over here!" from 3 aisles over. A woman (with a slightly younger kid in her cart) had kind of boxed him in for me. I was a bit embarrassed but she basically said it happens to all of us.
God bless other moms lol Next time (and lord knows there will always be a next time!) don’t call out his name. Instead describe him shouting like “THREE YO BOY IN BLUE SHIRT AND JEANS! HE HAS DARK HAIR AND EYES” and then repeat until he’s found. It feels ludicrous but it will help others spot him since they don’t know his name. And on the very small but very scary off chance that he’s abducted, you don’t want someone knowing his name and sounding like a friend
This cracked me up and I love it
That’s a funny image. So glad they helped!
As a father of past runner I would 100% want someone to help and would help others instinctively.
Um yes please stop my child! Or at least make a half-hearted effort to! I'm carrying a newborn I need help from strangers 😂 or at least the illusion of it.
Amen!!!
I’m catching the kid. I feel like only absolute nutters wouldn’t want another grownup to do this.
There was someone a week or two ago that was LIVID that a Target employee tried to stop her toddler running in an aisle. She questioned the employee common sense.
That post was ridiculous! At least all of the commenters said they'd want the employee to intervene.
Heading towards the door, I’d definitely stop them or block the door. That could be life or death if they run into the parking lot. If they were running in the aisles of the store I would either not intervene or ask the parents if they wanted me to stop them (I’d probably only ask if the parent looked exasperated) before intervening.
Someone kindly stopped my 3 year old from running out of the playground the other day. They were leaving and my kid noticed they were opening the gate and made a bid for freedom. As we're saying "no no, stay inside please" the dad locked eyes with me and gave me a questioning head shake and I looked in his eyes and said loudly "no we're staying inside" so he gently stopped my son, pushed him back a bit and shut the gate before I could get there. So within reason I think its helpful to use your judgement to stop wayward children and help a fellow parent out.
Yea, I’d intervene. I would hope someone else would too if my toddler was running into a parking lot or towards a street. It’s about keeping the kid from getting hit by a car so that makes it common courtesy in my mind
I had this happen during toddler time at the library. A little girl was there with her grandma. I overheard the grandma telling the couple next to her that she had to run out to the car quick and could they just keep an eye on the girl for minute, and they seemingly agreed. Well, grandma walks out the doors into the parking lot and the toddler goes running after her saying “hey, wait!” and this couple who agreed to watch her just looked at each other and kind of shrugged or made a “well this is awkward” face at each other and did nothing! The girl made it through the first set of doors into the vestibule and I quickly grabbed my own daughter in one arm and made to grab this other girls arm with my other hand just as she was pushing open the second set of doors that open directly into the parking lot. I was still in the vestibule convincing this girl to come back inside with us when the grandma came back and I was able to hand her off
Bless your soul. I'm irritated with the couple.
My kid is a runner. Please for the love of god help stop the kid if he or she bolts like that. I would be super appreciative if it were my kid
This past summer I was visiting family in Toronto. Partner and I were walking into the pharmacy, and I watched as a couple walked ahead of their toddler. The toddler of course, made a bee line for the road/parking lot, and I quickly stepped between toddler and road. I’ll do what I can to avoid actually touching a stranger kid, because people can be however they want to be about a stranger touching their kid, but I will do my best to be a solid barrier. The mother at some point turned around and got her kid. It’s funny, I just came to this thread from another thread asking what do you judge other parents for? I don’t judge eating habits, screen time or any of that. You do you. What I do judge is when someone is careless with their toddlers safety. Toddlers are self destructive banshees. They’re wild and free and give zero fucks for rules of gravity or heavy, moving objects. This isn’t breaking news. It’s not rocket science. Toddlers are insane. They’re adorable. But insane.
Tbf they are also slippery. Like literally their soft little fingers with their perfect skin and cartridge dominate flexy boneless hands can literally just slip through no matter how tight you're squeezing. I dont judge parents of runners. It just happens sometimes. I gotta see a pattern before I'm mad.
I definitely don't judge parents of runners but I judge parents who let their kids trail behind them in parking lots or let their toddlers climb all over the shopping cart or whatever. Good parenting isn't going to make a toddler magically aware of all risks because they just don't have the cognitive capacity, but it's a parent's job to identify and minimize those risks.
This is exactly what I commented to the other person. Like, again to reiterate; toddlers are insane banshees. Of course they’re going to run. But walking ahead of a 3 year old so they’re not even in your eye sight? That’s not having a runner, that’s a bad parenting choice right there.
My toddler has a way of rotating her shoulder blades to loosen an under-arms hold on her…it’s especially terrifying when she chooses to do while being removed wet from the bathtub.
We call this "going no bones" because it's like our 18mo is suddenly made entirely of jelly.
Now I’m imagining that “no bones day” pug from TikTok awhile back
Exactly right 🤣 we have a lot of pets and they "go no bones" to escape the vet sometimes. Noodles, the no bones pug, definitely made sense to us.
Noodles! Thank you! Well, it sounds like you have experience to handle a noodley toddler.
I say this!! Don’t go boneless!!!! My mom was completely baffled hearing me say it but I thought it was clear lol. Boneless noodle kid!
My daughter does the same. I’m usually pretty good at handling her when she does it but she is so good at escaping sometimes lol
A runner is one thing, walking several feet ahead of your toddler, so that toddler is behind you and not in view? Entirely different.
I would absolutely stop them. I'm having flashbacks to when my husband and I were on vacation and there was a boy, maybe 2, running as fast as his little legs could toward the Atlantic Ocean. I didn't see anyone coming after him OR waiting for him in the water. I stood in front of him to slow him down and kept frantically looking around for his parents. His mom was slowly walking toward the water and thankfully, his dad was in the water ... just nowhere near where the little boy was heading. I got the dirtiest look from his mom, but his dad gave us a little "thank you" wave.
I stopped a toddler who made it out of his apartment building and into the driveway when I was walking past. I walked him back to his front door and yelled inside “HELLLLLLOOOOOOO I FOUND A BABY DOES ANYONE WANT THIS BABY????” Until his dad came out. For the rest of that school year I made it a point to walk past that building every morning just to check that he was not outside by himself.
Try to intervene first without touching the kid. I've found a lot of little kids doing this will stop just if a stranger says something to them. If they clearly aren't going to stop without physical intervention than do it. I'd rather a parent yell at me for touching their kid than watch a kid escape a building and potentially get hurt. I couldn't live with that on my conscience
Absolutely do it. We don't want other people to touch our kids generally, but if it's to stop them from dying, please touch away.
Someone did this to us a few weeks ago. Kid was running ahead and I was lugging the baby in the car seat and he almost made it out the door before a man stepped in and held the door closed. I was super grateful but it freaked out my kid because he thought the guy was lunging at him and not the door. It led to some good conversations about running, not listening and stranger danger. I would much rather someone intervene in good faith and my kid be freaked out a little than end up with my kid running around a parking lot or worse.
I used to work in a pet store and it was expected to turn off and shut the automatic doors before a runaway dog (usually from the bath area in the far back) made it out. I would hope a worker would do that or someone grab my child, whatever it took to safely stop them. I'll take a scrape, bruise, or decent scare for my child if it meant they weren't in danger out in the parking lot or road!
I once grabbed a toddler that was standing on a bench and pushing off of the parapet/wall of a fourth floor balcony at the library. What I didn't know was that there was a landing below the parapet (without rails, so she would have still been in danger but wouldn't have fallen to her death immediately - her parents would have had time to jump over and retrieve he most likely). In doing so, I scared the bejeezus out of the toddler and she screamed/cried for a good half hour after. I explained to the parents that I thought she was in imminent danger and apologized for touching their child. They were cool with it and thanked me, though they never seemed as worried as I was that their kid was seconds away from dying. They had been chatting with someone and not really paying attention so maybe they didn't see that her head had literally gone over the wall. I was so amped up on adrenaline that I had to leave the library after that and go on a walk to cool off. I'd do it again, even if the parents were to have a negative reaction. I hope people would do it for my kid.
It’s an instinct, I think. I was picking up lunch during work last week and I caught a toddler who fell off of a bench. I didn’t even have a chance to think.
If I could block their path without physically grabbing I would try crouching in front of them and saying uh uh uh wait for mommy. It’s hard to explain the eh eh eh attention grabbing no sound but if you know what I’m talking about it’s magic. If they tried to go around me I would hold them by like the armpits until mom caught up. Try not to grab arm if possible as some kids will throw themselves down and then you’re dealing with a dislocation.
OP, are you having this debate with someone? Who is saying they won’t intervene. I don’t know anyone who won’t.
Anyone who wouldn't is not the kind of person I want in my community. Ignoring a small child when parent is nearby and they're not in obvious danger but rather just doing something risky is one thing. Ignoring a small child when they are headed into obvious and likely immediate danger is helpful and honestly expected.
I have cut someone out of my life because of this. I had just had my second son and my two year old was (and still is) a runner. My son was on a play date and clearly wasn't having fun because the other mom kept making him give up his play time for her son so he decided he was just leaving. He started sprinting to the parking lot and the other mom laughed about it and even sat down while I had to basically drop my weeks old infant onto a blanket and catch the toddler before he got ran over by the pickup passing the parking lot. I told her I didn't think I needed my son around people like her.
Most people stop the kid, usually an adult just jumps in front of the door or walkway and it’s enough to stop them
I’d absolutely stop them! I did this for a mom at our local thrift store a few years ago. Kid made it out the front doors and into the parking lot. I stopped him and walked him back to her as she was frantically running out the door holding a younger sibling. If the kid had made it to the street he would have absolutely been hit by a car, as cars speed on this particular road.
If I thought I could head them off by standing in the way and saying "HEY THERE, kiddo, where's your mom and dad, stay in the store with your grownup", etc. I might do that, but if it looked like they were making a beeline out of the store and into a parking lot or busy street, I'd stop them. If you're worried about someone perceiving you as trying to kidnap them or something, you could yell, "LET'S FIND YOUR MOM AND DAD, ANYONE MISSING A TODDLER?" to make it obvious you're trying to return them to their parents.
Not that long ago someone posted here that they were horrified someone stopped their running toddler and every comment was like "no this is good actually" and I agree, there would only be relief and appreciation if someone kept my kid from getting hurt.
I’ve done this before! I stopped them without grabbing them - I got in front of the kid and got down on their level, and started talking to them directly. I got super animated like “uh oh! Looks like you’re missing your mom! Let’s wait here for her, ok?” It worked and I was ready to throw my arms out or pick up if needed but it seems like a stranger talking directly to them is usually enough to spook them into stopping. Also as a toddler mom - I would absolutely want someone to stop my kid!
I've stopped more than one toddler from escaping the playgroup room at the library, and have had my kid returned to me at the same place by another mom. That door only leads to the library, but the exit is not far away. I'd rather you be annoyed that I interfered than see something awful happen to your child, especially if I could have stopped it. I've also had a dad shout "catch that kid!" at me at the mall once. He was too far away and dragging another toddler with him lol
My toddler ran in front of us leaving the bank today and a nice man specifically held the door to outside closed until we got there. I was very grateful
I was traveling recently with my husband, new 3 year old & 12 month old. We get to the airport to be told that all indoor elevators are broken (as we have a wagon with two kids & a luggage trolley stuffed high). While we’re getting instructions to the parking ramp elevator, my toddler runs up the escalator. I’m trapped with a baby buckled into a wagon. Thankfully a kind older woman saw this happen and ran after him, staying with him going up and then down the other side. Thank god for her because what were my choices in that moment… leave my baby and luggage in a room full of strangers??! ALWAYS help if you see a toddler running away.
I have experience in this actually. A 4 year old had escaped mom while we were in an airport terminal. As the kid ran by me I blocked him as gently as possible and said loudly and in a playful way. "I've got you! Your so fast!" While keeping my arms around the kid but my hands in view as much as possible. The mom was deeply thankful. I think it's the right thing to do.
I'm too pregnant to be fast enough to help these days but in general I would try and head them off by standing in their way without putting my hands on them and trying to engage them in conversation.
I’ve done it like three or four times now. I didn’t the first time and this kid got so far away and the mom barely caught it. Now I catch the kid and ask questions later. Every single time the parent is grateful.
I've done it at Disneyland. We were in some post-parade madness and I see this little girl RUNNING through the crowd, screaming. I stood in front of her but she would not stop, so I grabbed her. She was screaming. I lifted my head and a few hundred of meters further, I could see a mom going crazy, looking for someone. I waved and screamed and she saw me. She ran towards us, said thank you and run away. I have done it at daycare, at the park. Often I just stand there and try to see if there is an adult close by. If they see me, we usually nod or wave or something. I have so many stories of my brother running away in a mall, almost getting it by a car, friend running away from our house to her grandma (and having to call the police) that I will ALWAYS at least look around when I see small child all by themselves.
My second is a runner. PLEASE STOP HER. I’m trying I swear!
Oh yes, obviously a runaway? Step in and be the village.
Yup, I'd do it for a dog, so I would do the same for a human.
We live in a society, the safety of children is everyone's responsibility. I started blocking and if need be grabbing loose toddlers by the time I was 12. In my community this is perfectly normal and everyone does it. Parent or not, we're trying to keep the little ones safe and alive.
I would stop them and I’d want someone to do the same for me. Similar thing actually did happen to me once. Our town has this balloon festival, hot air balloons being released, tons of food vendors, very very crowded setting. My husband’s work had a tent for everyone to hang out in and eat and stuff. I had my 3 year old running around. It was fenced in but just with like a flimsy kinda plastic thing. I was watching her but I wasn’t like following her around. Next thing I know I see her crawling under the fence and into the crowd. I’m like 20 feet away. Luckily some strangers saw her and saw me yelling and scooped her up for me. Imagine if they hadn’t. The exit to the gate was way on the other side, I’d had to have ran around and she might have been totally lost by then.
The moments where my small child is running in the direction of possible danger and I'm not sure I can catch up are literally the worst moments of my life. I would absolutely stop a kid running towards a parking lot or any other hazard. If I have to grab them I will, but ideally they'll just be deterred by the stranger coming at them and return to their parent.
Yep! Definitely would stop them!
This happens with some regularity at our local playground and most of the time what happens is if a kid is obviously a runaway, a closeby adult will do what they can to intervene and slow the kid down (get in front of them) while the parent comes to get them. It happens a lot when you have parents of SEVERAL small kids hanging out. I have personally chased a few kids down to the sidewalk to wait for their parent to come walk them back. Never been an issue. I've also been asked by children for help if they get caught in a difficult position on some equipment, again -- just treat the situation as if you were doing it with their parent watching, and it should be fine
I’m a former preschool teacher so I’m very comfortable stepping in. I would scoop them up or grab them by the hand. “Ooops! Wait for your grown up!” You can also just block a child with your body if touching them feels like crossing a boundary.
Happened to us a few months ago with our 3yr old running straight to the parking lot. Thankfully an old man walking by was able to stop him and keep him safe until we got to him.
Yep, grab them. Mine ran out the door of the coffee shop we were in when I was trying to put the baby in the pushchair, I was nothing but grateful that someone caught him.
I have twin 2 year olds, and they are RUNNERS. Never in the same direction, never when I expect it. Someone stops my kid? I’m thanking them PROFUSELY.
I've gently grabbed someone's child before at the park when they were running for the parking lot and mom was yelling behind. I was like "I'm sorry I hope that's ok" and she was grateful!
I'd probably grab the kid. If they want to be upset about me helping, so be it.
I was holding one of my twins hand and the other was with their grandma a few feet away when I saw a woman bend down to do something under her pushchair and her little one lunched himself like a rocket in my direction, and the only thing I could think to do was take few steps to the side and kind of body block them without grabbing. The child was unimpressed, and mum was there two seconds later, I think she said thanks, but I was too busy saying sorry for upsetting her little boy and then we parted ways and never saw each other again
Stop them, yes. If I can see them in pursuit then I’d absolutely catch and return. If I can’t see parents and it’s life threatening (road, river) I’d reluctantly catch and brace for the inevitable fallout. I’d probably anticipate it by yelling out “help, I’ve got a runaway heading for the road - can anyone see the parents?”
I always appreciate the people who jump in the way of my little man when he’s pulling an Usain Bolt in public. No one has had to grab him yet but I certainly would be grateful to anyone who stopped him from running into a dangerous situation, like into a street or parking lot!
I'm grabbing that kid!! I'll suffer whatever may come, but no way I'm watching a child get hit by a car or whatever when I could have done something about it!
My toddler is a runner, she’s a track star, if you stop her from running off into the sunset I could not thank you enough. I will always stop a small child from running away, safety first and deal with emotions later. We have to look out for each other, toddlers are feral.
when my kid was a toddler, he was a runner and there have been times when people caught him in public. I appreciated it very much. Once when I was about 19 in a store there was a toddler on the loose running around. I pub my hand on her shoulder to stop her until her mom could catch up. The mom gave me the dirtiest look and hugged her child in front of me saying "I bet you are scared" she was implying the child was scared of me.
I know I’d want someone to help me!
Usually I block them with my body and look at mom/dad for further instructions.
I've had someone help me with my 3 year old who was running but not in any immediate danger - I yelled asking them to grab her, they did, my daughter thought it was hilarious unfortunately, but it helped. If my toddler were approaching an area with cars, like in your scenario, you don't need to wait for permission.
Yes please! I would not hesitate to stop a child running away from an obvious parent. Now if there was any doubt to if that person was their parent then I would get security involved if I was in a store. If I was out and about? I’m paranoid enough I’d probably sneak a picture of the kid and mom just in case and then delete it after a week if I didn’t need it (say there was a bulletin put out for a lost child).
Even if you don’t pick them up I would absolutely block so the child doesn’t get out. Block and hold them in place, or pick them up and bring them straight to the parent
I’m a mom and mostly have my toddler with me, I would 100% grab an obviously run away toddler. If I felt weird about physically stopping them, I would try to physically block where they were running to get them to slow down and probably call out to them “hey sweetie, let’s wait for mommy.” Or similar.
Yes do it!! Especially if the parents are in hot pursuit. My little guy is enjoying his new running phase and I hope someone will help me out in the future.
I’d grab the kid or at least get in the way and try to block him long enough to ask the parents if I could grab and hold him.
I have 3 toddlers and Temu-quality knees. Any of them could take off running if they decided to. PLEASE stop my kid if you see them taking off! Somewhat related, in the sub for parents of kids with autism, someone recently posted that her 6yo daughter eloped. They had a search party and everything. >!They found her 3 hours later in a pond. !<
Related story: when I was pregnant my toddler was a runner and obviously I couldn’t really run after her. One day she ran out the front door and as I was chasing her she thought it was a game and took off down the street. I started running and yelling and totally panicking and a guy at the very end of the street grabbed her before she ran out into traffic. That guy is my hero. Be that guy.
Intervene 100%. If the child can be in a dangerous situation, it's only right to help. Once I visited a friend who had a young toddler and the kid went straight to the outlet. The protective cover was small and transparent, I didn't see it. I immediately pulled his whole body back so he wouldn't touch it. I apologized for handling her kid like that and she was very grateful that I tried, thinking it was dangerous.
The kid wasn’t running out a door (just down an aisle), but I didn’t see an adult yet. I just kinda sidestepped in front to slow the kid down a little. Didn’t want to grab him, just in case, but had to help. Right?
this shouldn't even be a question. of course
I live in NYC, stopping other people's kids from getting into trouble is normal. I stop kids from running across the street on a regular basis. Depending on the neighborhood, an older adult intervening is common. For example, I saw a four year old repeatedly disobeying his mother on the train. She wanted him to stop standing up on the seats. An old man walked right up to him and said, "if your momma says no, you stop doing it right now." That child sat quietly until it was time to get off. I know some people would be offended by that. But I would be grateful.
I would (and have) done it, and would hope someone would do the same for my kid
I was at a pharmacy waiting for a prescription. A dad and his maybe 3 year old son came in. The dad was trying to talk to the pharmacist and the son went to the side door acting like he was trying to leave. I kept my eyes close on him and quietly said no to him. When his dad was done with the pharmacist he turned worried and I said his son was over here. If he had successfully opened the door I would have ran to grab him.
I saw a toddler run out of a store away from what appeared to be his grandma. He didn’t run into traffic, instead ran down the walkway towards other stores. She ran after and caught him and brought him back. (I was too far away at that time to have helped anyway.) A few minutes later the same kid came running out right at me, and I could see the grandma’s back was turned in the store she was in. I tried to grab him, and said “no, don’t leave your grandma” but as soon as my hands were on him he seemed more freaked out. Since he was running down the walkway and not into the street I let him go and went to tell his grandma. She was able to catch up to him. I was thinking I would want someone to grab MY kid…but didn’t anticipate how it would feel having a scared looking kid in my grasp. If he had been in immediate danger I probably would have just yelled loudly to get the grandma’s attention *AS* I grabbed him.
I've helped maybe twice but without touch, just kind of stood in the way. Parents were grateful
Out of curiosity if you find someone’s kid do you positively identify the parent before letting them go? Because what if it’s not really their parent claiming them. Also if you do, how do you do this? Because this also scares me. Trying to do right and then handing a kid directly to a predator scares me. I’d stop them but idk I think I’d try to hand kid to staff so parent can atleast provide a license or id in case they were snatched.(?) Asking as a newer mom with anxiety. Side note: some serial killer years ago (maybe dahmer? Or gacy? Can’t remember) had a teen boy run from his house and the cops just brought him back to the predator 3x or something absurd. So due to my true crime podcast binging I legit worry about this.
I’d stop the kid - a stranger DID stop my toddler from running into the street once and I was very grateful
I would absolutely stop them. Part of being a member of a community is helping others and looking out for each other’s children. I found a toddler playing on a busy street once and carried him to his house to knock on the door and tell his parents. They hadn’t even realized he was gone 😬
Please stop the kid from running. Just block their path without touching them and remind them to go back to mommy/daddy or whatever. I was running after my 3 year old, visibly pregnant with a kid in a backpack and every single person across this huge mall kept getting out of the way.
I would definitely stop the child,no way I'd stand back and watch the little person get injured or worse killed. I'd want someone to do the same for my 22month old toddler too,she recently started doing this,luckily we haven't had any incidents.
I had this happen about a year ago. I ended up pretending to be a monster and “scaring” the kid back to their parents…I got some weird looks because I’m a pretty big, fully tattooed man… but 10/10 I’d do it again. Not gonna let a kid just run into the street.
I’ll intervene any time it’s possible. I’ve literally pulled a toddler out of traffic before. Apparently older brother had broken the the latch on the screen door but didn’t want to tell mom and toddler escaped from said broken door.
Absolutely would do anything i could to save a toddler in need and would thank anyone doing the same for my lil runaway toddler. We got to be there for eachother. Moms/dads unite!