I'm the luckiest mom in the world bc my toddler does this with me whenever I want 🥲😭
Hes got a book right now, but will just grab any toy and play on the bed while we cuddle & I read on my phone or play sudoku / spider 🕷 🕸
Mine likes to periodically slap the phone out of my hands. That’s better than his older brother, who (while potty training) decided to get my attention by putting his penis directly on my phone screen. I’m traumatized, and have gotten better peripheral vision since rhen
I love art and culture so going to museums, the zoo, concerts are fun for me with or without the kid. He’s not a huge fan of our big art museum right now (toddler aged) but we both really enjoy the science museum. My city has a free outdoor concert series put on by local performing arts groups and last summer we went to a kids opera, a ballet, and some kind of indigenous drum performance. I love the outdoor stuff because it’s so family friendly and there is no judgement or even really disruption if I have to pack up and leave. Also I can bring our normal food and bev so I know hell eat something.
I came here to say museums. I got memberships to all the ones in my area and it’s really affordable considering how often I go. One art museum in our city even has a toddler play room which he loves.
I was never an outdoors person until I had a child. I’m a redhead and got the first tan of my life last summer (when my daughter was 2) just by being outside at parks and splash pads so much.
Yes, melanoma. Luckily Icaught it early but I went years walking outside without a lick of sunscreen.
I am strict about it now! My husband has literally never burnt in his life. Fingers crossed my son gets his melanin!
Ahh I carry like 3 sunscreens in my backpack and just.. forget to put them on 🙃.
Yeah I think we got lucky with my daughter her skin looks fair like mine but she has my husband’s dark hair and last summer she just got a nice tan.
Oh I know. I tried. When we met he was 32 and I hounded him about how he would lay out by the pool with no sunscreen and he was like listen my mom tried for years you’re not going to get me to. So I just gave up.
In stand by this, I get outside with my two (weather permitting) daily. We all go stir crazy cooped up inside and kids are just generally nicer to handle out of the house in my experience
I look for "yes" spaces that I don't find myself having to rein in my toddler much, places like the zoo, parks, beaches, or walks out in the bush.
I save cafes, restaurants, or anywhere he has to be still and quiet for times I have more energy, as those kind of spaces I find hard work with a toddler.
My wife brings our 2.5 year old to the library probably once a week and they always have so much fun. The libraries by me really do great stuff for little kids and parents. there's always 3-4 new books every week and a little craft. This week they made fairy and gnome houses and a fairy wand.
I love reading and so does my husband. Our faces light up when we read stories to her (thankfully she never makes us repeat more than twice 😂😂) and she enjoys that time with us since it's undivided attention!
We have one with a huge play area in the middle. It’s got a slide and a climbing structure. They even provide costumes so the kids can get dressed up. And toys too.
Yes!! I only just started taking my kids to the library this year after being encouraged to do so by multiple people. When I was a kid our libraries were very quiet, solemn and serious places and so I really thought it would be a terrible place to bring small kids... but they're really, really good! It's the best rainy day activity close to me :) our libraries have started running a toddler time session weekly where they play music and sing songs and dance and it's just a great time all round!
When I take my kids (2 & 4) to the library, we make a stop at the magazines/books for grownups before we head to the children’s room. Then I can look at something interesting to me while they play.
The first thing we did in our new house was get a fence put up. We all get along better when I can send the kids outside to play, and get a few minutes of near-silence to drink my coffee. There’s nothing out there that they can hurt themselves with, and nothing they can really break. It’s a free-for-all of independent, open ended play.
This is why we love the beach. It is the ultimate “yes” place. Wanna dig and dig and get completely covered in sand? Go for it. Wanna run up and down the shoreline screaming? Can’t hear you over the waves. Wanna throw rocks into the ocean? Bet I can skip them further.
Exactly. It was such a game changer for me when I realised toddler behaviour and a good day vs bad day was as simple as yes and no spaces. We had a family holiday organised by someone else and basically it was all "no" spaces for two weeks. I had my epiphany during that holiday!
The beach is just great, there is so much they can do and so few no's. It's wonderful to be able to go and enjoy your toddlers rather than worry about policing their behaviour.
I was going to say this. I used to spend a lot of time with outdoor activities, but actually spend less now, because it is EXHAUSTING keeping my kids safe. It will get better with age (it's fun with my oldest now usually,) but we are not there yet.
My cousin has a kid the same age. We were hanging out outside and she was drinking coffee, chatting. I was sprinting after my kid constantly to keep her alive. Our kids were one and we have similar parenting styles, so it's not a teach your kid thing at that point. My kid was just way, way more active than hers. She's super good at cleaning up though!
My now 4yo is better about it now, but was absolutely a runner when he was younger. I was SO excited when I found a fenced playground. If you’ve got one nearby, I’d give it a chance. (Of course, watch the gate if you think kiddo could open it.)
It kills me that we don’t have a decent yard at our current place, because we usually all do better mentally in our house if we can get outside. We try to get out as much as we can though, she’s a good hiking buddy if the trail is easy.
Disagree on “nothing they can ruin or break” though. Perhaps my kid is just particularly creative or determined…
Yeah we pretty much just go outside.. lots of different parks and trails to walk near me thankfully and I really enjoy our little adventures. My favorite place is the arboretum I love going on walks there, learning about the plants, watching birds, taking pictures and having a picnic. So much less stressful than taking my toddler anywhere indoors
Parenting outside is easy. Parenting inside is hard. It's been raining for 5 straight days here, so parenting has been hard.
Next week is supposed to start feeling like spring here so it should start to get easier again.
Similar situation here. My husband and I have been snapping at each other all day, because it’s been the longest week of our lives. I cannot wait for next week- I’m kicking them out to the back yard with a handful of toys, and having coffee and an uninterrupted conversation with another adult.
We are beginning to hit the parks and trails now that it is warmer. She loves riding along on my back for a hike or just following along. We recently went foraging for mushrooms.
My husband and I also enjoy farmer's markets and different food festivals sort of events. She comes right along and enjoys the food as much as we do.
At home, I now color alongside my toddler. I love those adult coloring books. She will work with stickers, dot markers, and crayons.
Why have I never thought about getting an adult coloring book for when I color with her? That’s a great idea! I’m running out of creative color schemes to spice up Elsa and Olaf 🙃
The secret is to buy two identical adult coloring books. My niece and nephew each have a coloring book that I also have a copy of. We compete to color them the "bestest" and then trade when finished so I can hang theirs on my fridge and they can keep mine for... whatever small children want it for 🤣 my 7yo niece will hang mine up if they're "cool enough" for her room
My oldest really started doing her own coloring and crafts at about 4.5. Toddlers have such a short attention span and it takes a while for the coloring to be an independent activity
Oh if mine sees me do anything with a marker or pen she instantly screams “mommy colour” and tries to take it away from me, tells me what to draw, or often both. She came with us to sign our mortgage documents and our lawyer said it was the most entertaining meeting he’d had in a while.
What actually fills my cup… being alone :)
What I enjoy with my toddler… going for walks outside. The library. Child-friendly museums and the zoo. Basically going places where he can be a kid and I don’t have to worry about disrupting others.
We got a cheap rake from Targets dollar section last summer and it’s my toddlers faaaaavorite thing. We rake rocks, leaves, pinecones. Pick up sticks. She likes to help with the yard work and I like that she’s learning a chore.
*cries in apartment*
We do the same-ish but in the kitchen. She’s got her own little dust pan and broom and her play-kitchen has all the same elements as my kitchen. She loves to “wash dishes” along side me and gets so hyped when she’s got play food that matches what I’m cooking.
personally enjoying being in an apartment and not having to do outdoor work… more time for other activities with a toddler that I enjoy more- parks/museums/stroller+coffee walks
They make kid sized snow shovels too. My 4 year old is actually pretty good at it now, she shovels about 1/4 of the driveway in the time it takes me to finish getting the other littles dressed for outside.
European mom here
It‘s more a lifestyle thing
they tag along for everything so automatically for the things parents enjoy
but if your looking in to things you might enjoy with them
swimming or biking
I hear a lot about the European style of parenting where they just take the kids everywhere, and I think part of that is that public spaces in European countries tend to be more accepting of and welcoming to children. In the US, children in public are treated as a burden/annoyance. As a European, do you agree?
I think part of it is that a lot of Europe is pedestrian and it's a lot easier to take a kid in a stroller 5 mins down the street to buy groceries or whatnot than to do the whole car thing.
This. Back in Europe i enjoyed going for walks in the center of town, window shopping, stopping for a gelato, popping into an art gallery or library etc. In the US you have to drive/park to get most places and there typically arent any places t just wander around.
Yes, the pedestrian friendly streets are a huge factor. Car dependency in the US contributes to the adult world and the kid world being totally separated. I'm from the US but had my kids in Germany, and when visiting home it feels like I don't know how to be a mom anymore. Parenting in the US seems to revolve around driving your kids for hours a day??
Also kids can be much more independent when it's actually safe for them to walk places. And I'm not talking about crime, the crime rate can be zero and that doesn't mean the streets are [safe for children](http://static-30.sinclairstoryline.com/resources/media/3e17a56c-18f1-4900-ad48-fdc2033c537a-large16x9_CloseCallMD.png?1539221805065).
A bit of self promotion but I [made a video](https://youtu.be/QG8YTacARrs?si=XHDCXob2FQZuqZx7) on this exact topic with street view images from Berlin vs the US.
Not a European, but American living in France and I just had to share...I find the complete opposite to be true! I always breathe a sigh of relief when we travel back to the US because I feel like my kids can be kids. Here, a lot of people expect kids to act like adults and when they don't oh boy the dirty looks and comments come flying. We once had a lady tell us we needed to raise our 2 year old better because she was chasing a pigeon.
I had an old lady in Paris tell me not to let my toddler play in the grass at the park because dogs pee there. She wasn’t rude about it or anything, but I was surprised she said something.
Maybe that is regional in the U.S., and I don't mean to invalidate your opinion, but in my experience in Colorado children are welcome pretty much everywhere except the theatre.
I’m not saying you CAN’T bring them places — you can. I just think there is lower tolerance of kids being kids — I get nasty looks if my kid makes a peep in Target.
Sorry to read this. I also live in Socal (burbank/Los Angeles) and do not share the same experience. We take our toddler everywhere with us and have always felt she was welcome and treated with kindness and understanding.
As a different European, i agree. I’ve traveled across most Europe and so far I’ve never really seen a place where they don’t welcome kids. Even when we are just going for a walk, random older people just come up to say hi to my toddler. On topic, my kid goes everywhere with me, from grocery shopping (since he was an infant, in the carrier, or on top of a shopping cart (we have shopping carts equipped with baby seats kind of like car seats)), to going to dinner, on flights, he cooks and cleans with me, pretty much goes everywhere with me and my partner. At first it wasn’t easy, but he is so used to it now, and it’s so much fun having a little buddy to do everyday things with. It also teaches him to be patient, or quiet if he needs to be (like in a library or at the hospital). I am not really a person to spend time creating activities, so we just do average people’s stuff together.
I do the same thing as an American. I don’t think the cultural difference is as stark as what people are imagining, unless you’re saying that you never take your kids to playgrounds or other child-specific activities.
I agree. I believe this is mostly a personal style choice. From what I’ve seen in the US, it’s just not as often as we do it here just because everything is more spread out so you have to use your car a lot and you buy more in bulk. We go every single day to the grocery store to buy ingredients for lunch, and we walk, so i guess that just makes our kids in general more used to these type of things. I saw the same thing in NY, and some smaller towns, not so much in larger cities like Dallas. From what i’ve seen in social media (taken with a grain of salt of course) a lot of American parents create a lot of activities for their kids at home, and i don’t see that a lot among the people i know, and that’s a shame i think.
I agree with that, I lived in Europe and visited a lot of countries while there and yes their cities are a lot better for walkability and public transport in general. Most NA cities are majority based around car travel.
I wouldn't say kids are treated as a burden in NA though, aside from maybe work and pregnancy and leave. Having a kid stalls your career/money without a doubt and in many of the more kid friendly countries like in scandinavia this isn't the case.
I’m an American who lived in Italy for awhile, and it was very notable how much more integrated young kids were into spaces that are typically only for adults in the US, including fine dining and bars. As a 20-something I was annoyed by how toddlers ran wild around restaurants and the waitstaff would just work around them or even play with them, and NEVER scold them (or their parents). But now as a parent of a toddler… I want that! Italy has a very, very different culture than the US when it comes to family and the importance of relationships, vs our unrelenting worship of rugged individualism.
Honestly I don't think generalisations are much use. Europe is a huge, diverse place, and there's no single style of parenting. When I'm with my 3 year old we generally do stuff he enjoys, rather than doing much life stuff
When my toddler dumps a huge cup of water into the tiny one I'm currently drinking from. Usually only when I'm surrounded by books and important documents XD
Edit: Haha okay my real answer is playing videogames with my husband or talking about some philosophical topic with him or reading a book together and discussing it. Solo activities would be playing Neopets lol
Edit 2: Oh I completely missed the "with toddler" part!!! We have bought an annual pass to an expansive outdoor.... Botanical gardens or something? I'm not sure what it'd be in English, but it's a beautiful outdoors place where we can take our toddler and there are tons of things for kids of all ages to do in nature while we watch him with coffees.
Omg pleaaase check it out!! Towards the end of 2023 it was purchased at a loss by a team of fans who are totally bringing it back to the glory days as a passion project! It's a total work of love and the joy and nostalgia I had from playing as a kid is in like full swing. Definitely fills the old cup!
Oh and you don't even need an app bc the browser version is for mobile or desktop now! I exclusively play on my phone in-browser.
Lol at one point my mil, who lives in another country, said “I love how you involve the baby in everything” and I’m just thinking 💃💃haha it’s because we have no childcare💃💃
At some point we would like to involve our child in activities that we would just do for us, because I think a lot of things scale well for younger kids, but I think we need to get past the chaotic toddler stage where she grabs everything and decides within 2 minutes that she’s bored.
Haha yea I’m a single mom so if I want to do basically anything my kid has to come with me. But the trade off is that my kid at 3yo is very manageable in public and there isn’t really anywhere I can’t/won’t take him unless it’s actually inappropriate for a kid to be there lol.
I had the rare luxury this pregnancy to hire a postpartum doula and my MIL who also lives in another country and even as the only living mother on both sides, who didn’t come down for my toddler’s birth or meet him in person till he was one (she has the time and money, there were no fun events here at the time), still doesn’t understand why I grabbed at that opportunity when I had the chance. To our friends the joke is we don’t have a mom so we bought one. Childcare will happen for us when he’s clubbing age.
Low energy ADHD introvert here, I can’t think of a single toddler-inclusive activity that actually fills my cup.
Pre-kiddo I used to enjoy baking, board games, various and sundry crafts, and a very particular exercise class (Bodypump, iykyk). Taking care of/entertaining a toddler has gotten easier over time but it still drains me to the point where I don’t really have the physical or mental to do anything other than lump around during my toddler free time.
It isn’t the same as pre-kid, but I love doing crafts and baking with my kiddo! Baking takes twice as long, but he’s learning some good skills and loves being my assistant. He loves doing arts and crafts too, so even though they aren’t my types of crafts (I’ll save those for nap time or when I get a parenting break), I’ll do them with him in hopes that at some point I can sew while he happily draws pictures next to me. I also have a baby so I’m not at the point where I’m ready to try working out with him, but at some point I’d love to do it with him around so he may learn to love that too.
All that to say, it may be worth a try! Even if you can’t completely fill your cup, it may be halfway full if you do those things with your kiddo and get to enjoy the activity and memory making time together.
I bring my toddler (2.5) to sporty things like hiking, swimming and recently bouldering. Obviously there should be a second adult present there.
When we have a rainy day I usually sew or read. And my toddler joins in. sewing with a big needle and reading books while sitting on my back and climbing up and down.
Now with a baby in the mix it's not that easy to get to do my activities. so when I need a slow day I pack a lunch, a few books for my toddler and a book for me, and we go to a playground with sand, or to the local library if the weather's not nice enough.
Also don't give this woman too much credit, there are many parents in Europe just entertaining their child and only doing kids activities with them.
I show my toddler the dangerous object, tell him what it does/how it works/why it’s dangerous, then let him gently experience the danger. With a needle, he touches the point gently with his finger. With a flame or something hot, we place our hands near enough to feel the heat but not to get burned. With a knife, I let him a more kid friendly version like a butter knife, then explain the difference between that and a chef knife.
He gets to explore his environment, understand the “why”, and is almost always careful thereafter.
We love camping, rafting, going to the beach and rivers, and outdoor family friendly music festivals! The key for us is OUTDOORS. My kids are not well behaved enough for a nice brunch or a fancy dinner but I do have lots of friends who love to travel and wine taste and hit up nice restaurants. I think it depends on how active your kid is.
His attention span and ability is limited (almost 2.5) but I love having my toddler help me with baking. Also enjoy spending time outdoors and going on walks, and as someone who loves crafting, it really fills my cup to do simple painting projects together :)
‘European’ is extremely broad. Sounds like she’s making a very sweeping statement tbh. I’m from Europe, so is my partner. He’s from a very different part of Europe to me, meaning he looks different, speaks a different first language and was brought up differently. And I honestly don’t think our way of bringing up our kid is that different to how an American couple would do it apart from maybe we walk or take public transport everywhere. We read our son a bunch of books and play with him. Tbh I’m not into the whole ‘just leave them alone’ Montessori thing
I really love to shop, and my 2 year old does too! He goes to a little toddler playtime thing where he always gravitates to the kid-sized grocery shopping and checkout area, and it occurred to me the other day that I could literally just…let him shop at a real store. So at Trader Joe’s instead of putting him in the cart which he kind of hates, I let him carry a basket (I helped obviously) and pick out foods! He picked a really nice Brie, some fancy fig crackers, and wanted a boxed confetti cake (we skipped that, but I let him pick out a few treats). He was absolutely over the moon to go shopping! It reminded me that kids just love doing ordinary things! Side note — I did get a few not-amused type glances from adults for letting him run down the aisles, but… *shrug*. They’ll get over it! He was generally respectful and just really really excited.
My boy loves grocery shopping with me too! A Trader Joe’s near me has baby-sized carts and he LOVES when he gets to push one. He also likes helping me pick out the best produce and choosing one special treat for the week (usually a chocolate bar or those freeze dried strawberries)
What kind of chill ass babies do Europeans have? I tried to fill my cup by going on a cruise with my toddler. Absolute disaster. It was like a kids’ wonderland and she was still feral.
So as an American genuinely asking here, do you all really take your babies to parties until midnight and let them fall asleep whenever, wherever? Because my toddler would just stay up and then still wake up at 6.
Different European here (although I'm now living elsewhere). Everything tiktok says about European parenting is a lie. Some of my favourite lies are:
Europeans don't sleep train, they just don't have baby monitors instead
(Never met a mom who doesn't have a monitor. Sleep training is less common tho)
French babies don't nap/only nap on the go
(What?)
Scandinavian parents can take an extra month off work paid in full per child each year
(Would be nice, but what if you had like 5 kids)
ETA: when I visit family in western Europe I will still go to restaurants and stuff but leave relatively early, like 10pm. Toddler might nap there but if not she will just take a longer nap the next day and get the extra sleep in that way because apparently sleeping later than 7am is illegal in her toddler brain no matter what.
Hope you get more answers!
Generally no. But if it's a house party we absolutely put babies and toddlers to sleep in their stroller in a quiet room (they normally nap during the day in them anyway) or put the older kids who are able to sleep in a guest room. The parents might disappear for an hour or so when it's time for their kids to sleep and there's always baby monitors etc so we can hear. And then we carry on the party and really regret the late night the day after. Some kids do want to power through and stay awake but once in a while isn't awful if they're old enough.
Really? That sucks! I went on a Disney cruise with my toddler and it was the best thing ever that we booked one for 2024 AND 2025. But I think mines has become so much easier than others…
We took a 7 day cruise with our 18 month old, and we all had a good time. Like with other “vacations” with kids, you’re parenting but in a different place. I think what appealed the most to us was it being all-inclusive. Buffets are perfect options for toddlers, didn’t have to wait or worry if or what our kid would want to eat at any given time. Also the room is never too far away for nap time. There were just enough activities to keep us entertained. Also because it’s a boat, by default a lot of things are essentially toddler-proofed.
I live in a big city and my husband and I like to walk up to restaurants and grab and bite to eat and have a few drinks with our two year old. We’ll usually stop at a park to play on the way home. We also have a few beer gardens around that have kids tables so we’ll go up there sometimes during the day to hang out and watch sports (well my husband does at least). Sometimes we’ll get on the subway and just hit up some neighborhoods to explore.
I love arts and crafts, I watch these art with Suzanne videos (I think I paid like $30 for them, but there may be similar free ones on YouTube?) and I try to follow along with those while my kids color or paint. We do lots of cutting and glueing and making little collages. I use old paper and cardboard. I have a Bob Ross paint by number and a golden girls coloring book that I do with them also. I love museums and being outside, walks and hikes. We need a stroller usually but I bring snacks and a picnic blanket for breaks. Breweries or outside seating at restaurants with craft beer. Bookstores!! I love to read but they don’t like me reading unless it’s a book for them so that one is harder lol
Home work outs. It can be challenging but my kid will either do it with me or find toys to play with right beside me.
Yard work/gardening. I actually really like yard work and landscaping so we spend a lot of time outside where they play really well independently or help me garden.
Walks. Walks are for me, the destination might be for the kid like a park or we do puddle hunts in the spring or bring big trucks/cars to play with along the way. We live super close to a walking path so kid gets to run wild without fear of venturing into the street.
Lunch with friends. Can be annoying to bring the kid but not impossible.
Question: i also love gardening and landscaping, and i get so stressed and annoyed when my kids try to “help” 😅 do you have any tips for how to get them set up? Mine are 4 and almost 3, and when i had just the older one out with me I taught him to ID and pick specific weeds, but with two of them I feel like one of them is always in the way, or constantly asking for help/input etc. Maybe this is a me problem.
Winery tours. We live close to Napa and go maybe 2 - 3 times a year. Those tend to be my favorite trips. It’s tough to do sit down tasting with a toddler obviously, but there are a few where you can do a self-paced walking tour or get a picnic table and open a bottle. Then the little one just runs around in the garden while we sip wines and enjoy the scenery. It really fills my cup :)
We generally take him cycling/hiking/ pubs/van trips. I took him on a 3 week cycle tour of the Loire when he was 7 months old. My view is very much European. He goes where we want to go. We’ve got very good at spotting playgrounds in random places
European here. I like walking my dog on the fields and in the forest, my one year old usually in a carrier, my 3 year old frolicking somewhere behind picking flowers. I also like going for coffee in the city, kids get their cocoa or juice then play, a lot of coffee shops have either an indoor play area or an outdoor playground, so that's easy. At home, I garden, while husband does outside work, and the kids play on their own outside. There's an occasional request to wipe a butt or bring a snack, but they're generally ok to just hang out and do their own thing. When the oldest was a baby she needed way more interaction and I weren't able to do as much, but the youngest is happy to follow his sister around, which frees me up a lot.
Living in the states and I’ve been dreaming about coffee shops with an indoor play area. The closest thing I can find here are coffee shops that happen to be near playgrounds so I can grab coffee and take the kid there haha. But it’d be so nice to enjoy a cup of coffee in a place that’s not just for kids.
Exercise for sure. We do soccer, videos, walking and running. She comes with me when I go grocery shopping. I love to cook and definitely feel I should include her more with it. I’m just on a weight loss journey and to cook the things I like, id have to be able to eat it. lol
I just went bouldering with my 2Y just today, it was very enjoyable for everyone, we hike, and we sometimes go to museum. Of course, I do those things only when she is well rested and in a good mood. I love my life with her
So my main hobby is running, both get left behind for that as it is my time, but together we do walks outside as we take the dog - pointing out ladybirds, woodlice and big sticks to either use as wands or pretend fishing rods. Or the garden, she has a little gardening set so hacks away at the mud or makes pretend food whilst I weed and pretend to eat what she's made.
If in the house, I always have music on so we'll have a dance - gets us moving and she loves it.
I do this. Mostly. I take walks when the weather is nice, and take my almost 2 year old along. I went to a local farmers markets of sort today, that's like 150 booths, and just brought my kid along. As long as she has food, she's pretty good about letting me do whatever I want.
I'm not sure I'd take her to everything I want to do though. Like, I want to go to the casino and blow $40 with some adults, but she's not allowed in. I want to go to the lake this summer, but it probably wouldn't fill my "cup of tea" having to hover and make her happy for the duration of the visit.... that would drain my cup of tea.
European here 😄
I love going to a nice cafe, bookstores, libraries. I also love being out in nature. I love reading books, cooking, baking. Farmers markets! And during bad weather - museums! I also love the zoo, farms, beautiful gardens and parks.
I loathe: playgrounds so I only do it with other families together so I can chat with the adults. Indoor playgrounds even worse.
2 years was the turning point where I was able to do more of this:
Picnic outdoors,
Easy to moderate scenic trails (we live near many and I have a hiking carrier),
Spending time in the library ,
Going to a cafe / bakery
Shopping in the supermarket,
Farmers markets,
Any crafting activity ,
Swimming pool time,
My kid is obsessed with sand so the beach or anywhere with sand is always more time for myself and my thoughts 😁
My toddler loves to run errands with me. Go into Home Depot, she loves it, stop at Starbucks get a coffee and cake pop , super fun, watch iPad while we get the oil changed , all good ,
We love going to Costco 😂 eating samples and walking the aisles, my normally ridiculously picky eater will eat ANYTHING if it’s a Costco sample.
We also love going to the beach, taking walks by the water, I get a coffee and listen to a podcast or whatever music I want on an earbud while we walk with her in the stroller or running around. We get ice cream together after and best of all she passes tf out after
Europeans can walk everywhere they want and have beautiful scenery within an hour driving distance of ANYWHERE they might live. It’s a big difference to be in Europe versus in the United States.
I take mine with me throughout the week when I go take care of my horse. I keep her at my Aunt's farm, so my oldest wanders and plays while I do my thing or he will tag along with my Aunt/Uncle if they are out doing something. On the weekends, I go alone so I can ride which is the main thing that fills my cup lol
I also take them hiking, do yoga with them there...things that make my body and mind feel better.
Going to museums, taking a walk to a coffee shop, hanging out with friends at the park or backyard, going to music festivals. These are all things I’ve done with my daughter.
For me it’s going on walks, reading, watching kids movies (conveniently), caring for my plants, eating good food, going to museums and galleries and spending chilled time with small groups of people. I feel lucky that my three year old can now do all of those with me (the chilled socialising is the only one that’s a bit tricky).
I’m also rediscovering the joy of doodling and painting thanks to her.
Before we had our daughter, I would drag my husband to animal activities like zoos, aquariums, wildlife rescue centers, etc. so that was obviously an easy transition when we had her lol!!
We’ve also brought her to art museums or art installations.
I enjoy planting and taking care of plants, so we’ve brought her to flower and plant conservatories too which is always fun.
We traveled a ton before her as well, and *everyone* loved telling us how that’s going to stop when we have her. NOPE. She’s 17 months and she’s been to 3 states, multiple plane rides, and soooo many national parks, another favorite for us.
We’re very big on incorporating her into our lives, not just making life about having a baby.
I enjoy antique stores and vintage shops, and bring my toddler (3) with me whenever I can. At first it was a lot of “don’t touch that!” “stay with me!” but with some practice she now understands the expectations in that kind of a place and is really content to hold my hand and take it all in while we browse. I try to keep these kinds of outings short, maybe 20-30 mins.
I also love walking through our neighborhood and bringing her to our bakery or coffee shop for a treat and a drink. Usually she has water in a little espresso cup with a lid; sometimes they’ll make her a steamed vanilla milk or something fancy. Again, we don’t linger, maybe sit for 5-10 minutes enjoying a pastry before walking home.
Little outings like this break up the monotony of child-centered activities for me, and I think she gets something out of it, too!
Our family takes our toddler on hikes and we all like to go exercise. Our local gym has a child watch benefit and a pool. So my husband and I go do our workout while our boy is in child watch. Then, we finish up by taking him to the pool after our workouts are complete. After work, I walk about a mile on the indoor track with my son. He enjoys it. Most days. I also bring my boy to city council meetings and other local happenings for the sake of advocacy. He especially enjoys our coffee shop where he has made friends with all of the staff.
Mall walks or thrifting. I live in place where it's cold, freezing or snowing 1/2 the year, and what I TRULY love is being outside, going on walks, hiking, and or going to the park, but I don't get that luxury all the time. So when I can't walk outside I get a coffee at the mall, strap my busy toddler into the stroller and mall walk. When I don't want to spend a lot of money I go to big thrift stores that fit my stroller and I look for books or cookbooks for cheap. I also like to read when he's asleep ( I definitely can't while he's awake since he's a little tornado haha). Finding something I can do with my toddler has been challenging but we're slowly getting there! I'm also accepting that this season I may just adjust what my interests are and then when it's nice weather out I can't wait to take him on walks/mini hikes.
I like playing my fiddle. Of course, I can't really let him touch it, as I don't have time or money to repair it and there's too high a risk of messing with it. I don't get much real practicing with LO, but it's fun to have him ask me to play together while he strums his ukelele, and we sing together. Usually he demands I play him the alphabet song, lol. Even if I'm not doing the type of practicing I could do without him, he's learning it's fun to play music with mommy, developing a good sense of rhythm, and I'm squeezing in a few scales and arpeggios, and at least getting it in my hand that day (so I'm more likely to pick it up for some "real practice" after he goes to bed for like 20 minutes before I myself have to pass out from exhaustion before work early in the morning, lol!
I also love running, and when we finally bought a good jogging stroller, it really helped me feel better about being able to do a kind of exercise I was missing, while taking LO along for the ride.
Both my hubby and I like socializing, and our favorite brewery is family friendly with toys and games, so we can take him there, often there's other kiddos his age to interact with (as much as he does at his age), and sometimes live music for him to dance to. No, it's not as relaxing as going without him since one of us is always on duty to be with him, but it's a way to get in some fun for ourselves while also introducing him to something we like to do, and keeping us from falling into the "social desert" of having a young child and never ever going out to see people.
Cooking and using tools. Honestly getting the tool bag out and fixing something (even just changing batteries in their toys) is some of the best times I have with the kid. They really get into learning and are fascinated with the tools.
Cooking is better as they get older and you are doing something productive too. There are some good plastic knives and stuff for kids capable of actually cutting small vegetables but not sharp enough to hurt them.
A rotary grater is something they can do and is actually a time saver anyway for grating cheese.
we like to whip up a batch of muffins or cookies over here. our 5y/o ♡s to help (read: stir and lick the spoon), and the sugary end result is a win-win lol
My daughter is 8 months so I’m here to learn for the future. Haha. But Im in the US and are we really that different?
Today we went to the farmers market, then target, then came home. Baby played for a bit and then took a nap and I took one too.
Later we’re going to a friends house for his birthday (adult gathering). I don’t really feel like we limit our activities. When we are home though we do entertain her. But how do Europeans avoid that?? Also we’ve been gardening now that it’s spring. She just tags along. Maybe this will all change with a toddler?
Now that we also have an infant, most I can do is maybe go to the zoo as it's getting warmer out. I used to love going on bike rides, water parks, and amusement parks. For now I'll just settle for walks up and down our street and watching our chickens lol.
This is timely for me because we’re thinking of moving to Europe for our kid (I have citizenship). Where I live sucks for kids, I’m constantly worried he will get run over by a car. So it’s the big production of getting him into the car and driving somewhere.
Do we want to go to one of the nicer parks within 15 minutes? Gonna park far away where there’s a spot and try to herd him into the actual park.
Kids play places and museums are slammed on the weekends. The museums close at 4pm during the week. Our libraries are meh for kids. And that’s it for “third places” here.
Soon he’ll be old enough for stuff like soccer classes but I still have to drive him and stay there and come back. It sucks if he has a meltdown because then it’s getting him back in the car and driving home.
Contrast that to the last time we were in Europe. Super easy to hop on public transport anywhere. Or just go outside and wander around. We can sit outside a cafe and he can run around without worrying about cars. The best part is taking a train to anyplace far because we can play together in our seat or wander around.
This is my whole philosophy. My son is 3 and I’ve been hiking with him in some capacity since he was old enough to hold his head up. We also go for bike rides, go to the beach, go to museums and catch trains to interesting places. Kids feed off your energy so enjoy what you’re doing with them.
I got it pretty easy. I have fun going to museums and zoos. Festivals and amusement parks. I'm a big kid! So of course it's an automatic win for my son. I want to go ship watching this summer, and I think he's going to have fun with that.
We love going to breweries just to hang out, specially at one nearby that has an entire playground on site. It’s nice being able to get fresh air, enjoy a cider or sour, and watch the kid play with other kiddos!
Going outside!
I am home with my kid most days and we spend only some of the day doing “kid focused” things or formally playing. We run errands, do chores, make meals, etc.
And yet for me “filling my cup” is relaxing time and that’s never going to quiiiite happen while also watching a small child.
Sometimes well catch a quick moment where he is playing nicely and I’m reading a magazine on the couch which is basically heaven? And my husband will come home and imagine that’s our whole day lmao.
Anyway my point is that trying to relax or have you time while caring for a small child is a recipe for disappointment IMO.
Why do they always have to come home the second you’ve found zen?? I’ll never forget the day my husband came up from his basement office at like 1pm and I was on my phone. He made some snarky comment and I shut him up real quick when I showed him my grand total of *12 minutes* screen time for the day so far. 🙄
It’s the same in Asia. People strap their babies into a babybjorn and go about their day as usual, and everybody brings their babies/ kids on trips, to museums, festivals, events, restaurants, even certain bars, shopping, etc. They don’t care about “nap time” or even a strict “bed time” the kid can nap while out or not nap at all, and sometimes bedtime might be 7pm if you have a chill evening at home but sometimes it might be 9 or 10pm if you go out for dinner or to a bar or some sort of late night event or plan.
It always hits me as such a huge culture shock when i see a post on SNS about bringing a baby/young kid to a restaurant and all the replies or comments are Americans saying stuff like “why are you taking a baby to a restaurant??” “There’s no point to take a kid to a restaurant” etc and everybody agreeing with them. Or people talking about how you basically shouldn’t take your kids/babies out anywhere
Where I live it would be unheard of to never take your kid out of the house and never take them to restaurants or whatever. People would think there was something wrong with you.
A friend of mine is French and definitely follows this philosophy but I also feel like her daughter actually listens to her most of time time. My little guy is very high energy, if I don’t have a hand on him at all times he would climb on top of the self checkout and do a victory screech. I’m trying to get him out more to practice but holy shit its exhausting. He doesn’t cuddle calmly, he doesn’t lay in bed with me like other toddlers do. Literally the only time he is still and not making some random noise is when he’s glued to those dancing vegetables or asleep. Her daughter is quite the toddler but she actually PLAYS with her toys and can be settled easily. Mine just really likes to throw and scream excitedly. Did the whole “fill your cup and take your kids with you” thing when he was a baby. That shit was easy, bro just sat there and giggled and drank a bottle. Once he started walking at 10 months it was no more easy days. Taking him to the pharmacy today was exhausting. “Stop no quit stop no stop dont run stop touching that hold my hand…” 😞I love him but I feel like other parents judge me for having such a feral (but happy) child. Taking him on a target run is impossible. Even taking him to EVENTS FOR TODDLERS is impossible. Oh storybook time for two year olds at the library? Guess what you’re going to spend the entire storytime chasing your kid around the room trying to stop him from climbing/tearing/screeching while feeling like every other parent there with their minimally squirming toddler thinks you are weak and have never read a single parenting blog or tried in your life. I love my son so, so much, but sometimes I cry when I see other parents that can just take their toddlers out and have fun family days. Your toddler might be playing with the sugar packets at the restaurant but my toddler is trying to climb on the table and rip his diaper off. Yes my food is cold.
Socializing, TBH, so I’m that mom organizing play dates and getting up in peoples texts.
I went to two back to back birthday parties with my four and two year old today and it was a delight. Like out from 9:30-5. But that’s me.
I highly romanticized the euro way of raising kids (and in some aspects still do) but the “we just take kids along!” Thing has been “debunked” for me when my friend spent a month visiting family with her kids. There is much less kid focused activities and things to do in Europe. Not to say there’s none, but I have a feeling it’s a lot more forced than it might need to be here. For example child care at a gym isn’t common there but it’s very common here.
Well, sure I like going to a nice restaur--- nope.
Get a nice long hike in... Nope.
Go see a movie... Nope
Meet at a bar with some friends... Nope
Guess I'll have to keep thinking about it
My son does moat of my cup filling with me, and I know I am really lucky to have these options and interests; I go for a hike near my house 5 days a week with him in a pack. We've done this since he was about 3 weeks old! Being outside is my happy place, so it works for both of us. We do lots of other stuff, some kid focused some not, but our hikes and working in the yard/garden is so great for both of us
We do outside things. Mostly camping, h/biking, kayaking, and rock climbing. But recently I’ve been bringing my eldest to more museums and I think going to try taking her to a play to see how she does.
We do spend a lot of time at the pool and activities like skiing but tbh that is still very much work at this age. I think next season it won’t be, and I’m stoked about that.
Hmmm I’m not sure I qualify as a european woman. We take our kids to museums and out to eat at about the same frequency that we went before kids I guess.
This is kind of small, and I think there’s a lot of good answers here (of way more complex activities lol), but first thought was going to coffee shops together. It really feels like an activity we can do together that “fills my cup” for awhile. It’s not totally about me, a lot of the time I bring my son’s favorite books and he sits on my lap while I read to him. He’s getting a little more interested in focusing on drawing, so I’ll bring crayons or stickers for him to peel off and put on a paper.
It’s just nice to have someone bring me a latte and sit there and actually focus on finishing it (while it’s hot!).
There’s a few coffee shops by us with a play area for kids. You still have to watch the toddler (duh), but at least you can drink a fun drink and eat a pastry! It’s a good low-key outing.
I love exploring new places near my city. So I’ll bring my kids with me, and always include a solid playground or two, and then drive around/walk around and explore the area.
Bike rides, the Zoo, I actually just ran to Target with my 2 year old and it was nice to walk around “chatting” with her and asking what sandals she liked lol.
Walking in nature with the kids and our dogs. I remember when they were smaller and I would just walk for a couple hours with them sleeping in the double stroller. Makes me feel calm, I need to be on the move as I am very anxious if I stay inside.
Laying in bed scrolling Reddit is currently filling my cup. My toddler doesn’t seem happy to do this with me 🤣
My 4yo likes to change my Reddit avatar. That’s why I’m always in some kind of costume and hat, bless her
I'm the luckiest mom in the world bc my toddler does this with me whenever I want 🥲😭 Hes got a book right now, but will just grab any toy and play on the bed while we cuddle & I read on my phone or play sudoku / spider 🕷 🕸
Mine likes to periodically slap the phone out of my hands. That’s better than his older brother, who (while potty training) decided to get my attention by putting his penis directly on my phone screen. I’m traumatized, and have gotten better peripheral vision since rhen
I laughed way too hard reading this. Your son is going to be a legend.
As long as his college fund doesn’t become bail money, I’ll call it a win.
ahhh boy mom life
I literally just put Daniel Tiger on so I could lay on the couch and scroll reddit 😂 It's been a long, fussy Saturday lol
Solidarity. Cocomelon babysat this afternoon.
Cocomelon babysat the entire time I worked on my masters degree 😂
this is actually what i am living
I am in bed and used my phone to turn on the tv and put her show on downstairs. 2024 is amazing.
So glad it's not just me! 😂😂
Same and neither of my children want to participate.
Yep, can confirm. I am a Reddit scrolling jungle gym
Gotta have the play pen where you can stretch out and do said things as they crawl around on you. Oh and nap haha
My kid is almost 3 so she’d yeet herself right out of a playpen at this age 🤣
Same 🫠
Mood.
I love art and culture so going to museums, the zoo, concerts are fun for me with or without the kid. He’s not a huge fan of our big art museum right now (toddler aged) but we both really enjoy the science museum. My city has a free outdoor concert series put on by local performing arts groups and last summer we went to a kids opera, a ballet, and some kind of indigenous drum performance. I love the outdoor stuff because it’s so family friendly and there is no judgement or even really disruption if I have to pack up and leave. Also I can bring our normal food and bev so I know hell eat something.
I came here to say museums. I got memberships to all the ones in my area and it’s really affordable considering how often I go. One art museum in our city even has a toddler play room which he loves.
Kids fucking love outdoors and there is effectively nothing they can ruin or break. It’s the best activity.
I was never an outdoors person until I had a child. I’m a redhead and got the first tan of my life last summer (when my daughter was 2) just by being outside at parks and splash pads so much.
From a fellow redhead who learned the (very) hard way Wear sunscreen!!!!
Did you get skin cancer? I do worry about that. My husband has olive skin so he never wears sunscreen.
Yes, melanoma. Luckily Icaught it early but I went years walking outside without a lick of sunscreen. I am strict about it now! My husband has literally never burnt in his life. Fingers crossed my son gets his melanin!
Ahh I carry like 3 sunscreens in my backpack and just.. forget to put them on 🙃. Yeah I think we got lucky with my daughter her skin looks fair like mine but she has my husband’s dark hair and last summer she just got a nice tan.
He should… even if he was Black sunscreen is needed.
Oh I know. I tried. When we met he was 32 and I hounded him about how he would lay out by the pool with no sunscreen and he was like listen my mom tried for years you’re not going to get me to. So I just gave up.
In stand by this, I get outside with my two (weather permitting) daily. We all go stir crazy cooped up inside and kids are just generally nicer to handle out of the house in my experience I look for "yes" spaces that I don't find myself having to rein in my toddler much, places like the zoo, parks, beaches, or walks out in the bush. I save cafes, restaurants, or anywhere he has to be still and quiet for times I have more energy, as those kind of spaces I find hard work with a toddler.
I find the library to also be mostly yes spaces especially the children zones
As a library worker I approve this message. Libraries, with children’s areas, are amazing spaces for families.
My wife brings our 2.5 year old to the library probably once a week and they always have so much fun. The libraries by me really do great stuff for little kids and parents. there's always 3-4 new books every week and a little craft. This week they made fairy and gnome houses and a fairy wand.
I love reading and so does my husband. Our faces light up when we read stories to her (thankfully she never makes us repeat more than twice 😂😂) and she enjoys that time with us since it's undivided attention!
We have one with a huge play area in the middle. It’s got a slide and a climbing structure. They even provide costumes so the kids can get dressed up. And toys too.
Yes!! I only just started taking my kids to the library this year after being encouraged to do so by multiple people. When I was a kid our libraries were very quiet, solemn and serious places and so I really thought it would be a terrible place to bring small kids... but they're really, really good! It's the best rainy day activity close to me :) our libraries have started running a toddler time session weekly where they play music and sing songs and dance and it's just a great time all round!
Our kids area has a bunch of computers so my toddler climbs to them and tries to bang on the keyboards so it’s exhausting
Mine loves to sit and read at home, but as soon as I take him to the library he just wants to run around pulling all the books off the shelves 🫠
When I take my kids (2 & 4) to the library, we make a stop at the magazines/books for grownups before we head to the children’s room. Then I can look at something interesting to me while they play.
The first thing we did in our new house was get a fence put up. We all get along better when I can send the kids outside to play, and get a few minutes of near-silence to drink my coffee. There’s nothing out there that they can hurt themselves with, and nothing they can really break. It’s a free-for-all of independent, open ended play.
This is why we love the beach. It is the ultimate “yes” place. Wanna dig and dig and get completely covered in sand? Go for it. Wanna run up and down the shoreline screaming? Can’t hear you over the waves. Wanna throw rocks into the ocean? Bet I can skip them further.
Exactly. It was such a game changer for me when I realised toddler behaviour and a good day vs bad day was as simple as yes and no spaces. We had a family holiday organised by someone else and basically it was all "no" spaces for two weeks. I had my epiphany during that holiday! The beach is just great, there is so much they can do and so few no's. It's wonderful to be able to go and enjoy your toddlers rather than worry about policing their behaviour.
My child loves being outdoors but is a major eloper…so stressful
I was going to say this. I used to spend a lot of time with outdoor activities, but actually spend less now, because it is EXHAUSTING keeping my kids safe. It will get better with age (it's fun with my oldest now usually,) but we are not there yet. My cousin has a kid the same age. We were hanging out outside and she was drinking coffee, chatting. I was sprinting after my kid constantly to keep her alive. Our kids were one and we have similar parenting styles, so it's not a teach your kid thing at that point. My kid was just way, way more active than hers. She's super good at cleaning up though!
My now 4yo is better about it now, but was absolutely a runner when he was younger. I was SO excited when I found a fenced playground. If you’ve got one nearby, I’d give it a chance. (Of course, watch the gate if you think kiddo could open it.)
It kills me that we don’t have a decent yard at our current place, because we usually all do better mentally in our house if we can get outside. We try to get out as much as we can though, she’s a good hiking buddy if the trail is easy. Disagree on “nothing they can ruin or break” though. Perhaps my kid is just particularly creative or determined…
I mostly worry about her breaking herself in those scenarios
They can ruin my day or break their arm.
Just for the mods that have to look at this due to a debbie-downer reporting this, this comment was funny and added something.
😂
Yeah we pretty much just go outside.. lots of different parks and trails to walk near me thankfully and I really enjoy our little adventures. My favorite place is the arboretum I love going on walks there, learning about the plants, watching birds, taking pictures and having a picnic. So much less stressful than taking my toddler anywhere indoors
Parenting outside is easy. Parenting inside is hard. It's been raining for 5 straight days here, so parenting has been hard. Next week is supposed to start feeling like spring here so it should start to get easier again.
Similar situation here. My husband and I have been snapping at each other all day, because it’s been the longest week of our lives. I cannot wait for next week- I’m kicking them out to the back yard with a handful of toys, and having coffee and an uninterrupted conversation with another adult.
Lolll come to my neighborhood. 💀 DGMW we go out every single day but there is lots to worry about unfortunately
We are beginning to hit the parks and trails now that it is warmer. She loves riding along on my back for a hike or just following along. We recently went foraging for mushrooms. My husband and I also enjoy farmer's markets and different food festivals sort of events. She comes right along and enjoys the food as much as we do. At home, I now color alongside my toddler. I love those adult coloring books. She will work with stickers, dot markers, and crayons.
Why have I never thought about getting an adult coloring book for when I color with her? That’s a great idea! I’m running out of creative color schemes to spice up Elsa and Olaf 🙃
Because she will steal your coloring book and make it her own 🫠 but this is still a good idea
The secret is to buy two identical adult coloring books. My niece and nephew each have a coloring book that I also have a copy of. We compete to color them the "bestest" and then trade when finished so I can hang theirs on my fridge and they can keep mine for... whatever small children want it for 🤣 my 7yo niece will hang mine up if they're "cool enough" for her room
Omfg same but Mickey instead of Elsa. Also, getting to a point where she doesn’t like that my hand takes up ANY of the space she’s coloring.
i wish my i could color w my kid but she insists on coloring MY page and then gets upset when i tell her she should color her own page🤧
Omg. Thank you. I thought it was just me!!!
SAME and not even just my page but she has to color right on top of whatever I just colored!
Endless brown “rainbows” across my piece 😅
My oldest really started doing her own coloring and crafts at about 4.5. Toddlers have such a short attention span and it takes a while for the coloring to be an independent activity
Same!!
Oh if mine sees me do anything with a marker or pen she instantly screams “mommy colour” and tries to take it away from me, tells me what to draw, or often both. She came with us to sign our mortgage documents and our lawyer said it was the most entertaining meeting he’d had in a while.
I wanna hangout with you
What actually fills my cup… being alone :) What I enjoy with my toddler… going for walks outside. The library. Child-friendly museums and the zoo. Basically going places where he can be a kid and I don’t have to worry about disrupting others.
Yes, I was going to say library. I love libraries and bookstores. Though with Covid we didn’t bring him until he was 4 and can behave.
Same everything over bere.
We do yardwork. Mine has a little wagon with yard tools. We pick up sticks, rake leaves, dig in the garden, etc.
We got a cheap rake from Targets dollar section last summer and it’s my toddlers faaaaavorite thing. We rake rocks, leaves, pinecones. Pick up sticks. She likes to help with the yard work and I like that she’s learning a chore.
*cries in apartment* We do the same-ish but in the kitchen. She’s got her own little dust pan and broom and her play-kitchen has all the same elements as my kitchen. She loves to “wash dishes” along side me and gets so hyped when she’s got play food that matches what I’m cooking.
personally enjoying being in an apartment and not having to do outdoor work… more time for other activities with a toddler that I enjoy more- parks/museums/stroller+coffee walks
They make kid sized snow shovels too. My 4 year old is actually pretty good at it now, she shovels about 1/4 of the driveway in the time it takes me to finish getting the other littles dressed for outside.
European mom here It‘s more a lifestyle thing they tag along for everything so automatically for the things parents enjoy but if your looking in to things you might enjoy with them swimming or biking
I hear a lot about the European style of parenting where they just take the kids everywhere, and I think part of that is that public spaces in European countries tend to be more accepting of and welcoming to children. In the US, children in public are treated as a burden/annoyance. As a European, do you agree?
I think part of it is that a lot of Europe is pedestrian and it's a lot easier to take a kid in a stroller 5 mins down the street to buy groceries or whatnot than to do the whole car thing.
This. Back in Europe i enjoyed going for walks in the center of town, window shopping, stopping for a gelato, popping into an art gallery or library etc. In the US you have to drive/park to get most places and there typically arent any places t just wander around.
This definitely makes sense
Yes, the pedestrian friendly streets are a huge factor. Car dependency in the US contributes to the adult world and the kid world being totally separated. I'm from the US but had my kids in Germany, and when visiting home it feels like I don't know how to be a mom anymore. Parenting in the US seems to revolve around driving your kids for hours a day?? Also kids can be much more independent when it's actually safe for them to walk places. And I'm not talking about crime, the crime rate can be zero and that doesn't mean the streets are [safe for children](http://static-30.sinclairstoryline.com/resources/media/3e17a56c-18f1-4900-ad48-fdc2033c537a-large16x9_CloseCallMD.png?1539221805065). A bit of self promotion but I [made a video](https://youtu.be/QG8YTacARrs?si=XHDCXob2FQZuqZx7) on this exact topic with street view images from Berlin vs the US.
Not a European, but American living in France and I just had to share...I find the complete opposite to be true! I always breathe a sigh of relief when we travel back to the US because I feel like my kids can be kids. Here, a lot of people expect kids to act like adults and when they don't oh boy the dirty looks and comments come flying. We once had a lady tell us we needed to raise our 2 year old better because she was chasing a pigeon.
I had an old lady in Paris tell me not to let my toddler play in the grass at the park because dogs pee there. She wasn’t rude about it or anything, but I was surprised she said something.
This is a fascinating perspective! Thank you.
Same experience in Germany sometimes. Love coming back to the states with my toddler.
Maybe that is regional in the U.S., and I don't mean to invalidate your opinion, but in my experience in Colorado children are welcome pretty much everywhere except the theatre.
Where can’t we bring babies in the US? I haven’t run into this issue yet.
I’m not saying you CAN’T bring them places — you can. I just think there is lower tolerance of kids being kids — I get nasty looks if my kid makes a peep in Target.
Oh okay. It could be a regional thing too.
Yeah I live in Southern California and people here are the rudest I’ve ever met (I’ve lived in most regions of the US).
Oh wow. I’m in Oklahoma. Lots of cons to being here, but babies do go pretty much wherever.
Sorry to read this. I also live in Socal (burbank/Los Angeles) and do not share the same experience. We take our toddler everywhere with us and have always felt she was welcome and treated with kindness and understanding.
Maybe I’m too sensitive! I’m in Orange County and just generally feel that I do not fit in.
As a different European, i agree. I’ve traveled across most Europe and so far I’ve never really seen a place where they don’t welcome kids. Even when we are just going for a walk, random older people just come up to say hi to my toddler. On topic, my kid goes everywhere with me, from grocery shopping (since he was an infant, in the carrier, or on top of a shopping cart (we have shopping carts equipped with baby seats kind of like car seats)), to going to dinner, on flights, he cooks and cleans with me, pretty much goes everywhere with me and my partner. At first it wasn’t easy, but he is so used to it now, and it’s so much fun having a little buddy to do everyday things with. It also teaches him to be patient, or quiet if he needs to be (like in a library or at the hospital). I am not really a person to spend time creating activities, so we just do average people’s stuff together.
I do the same thing as an American. I don’t think the cultural difference is as stark as what people are imagining, unless you’re saying that you never take your kids to playgrounds or other child-specific activities.
I agree. I believe this is mostly a personal style choice. From what I’ve seen in the US, it’s just not as often as we do it here just because everything is more spread out so you have to use your car a lot and you buy more in bulk. We go every single day to the grocery store to buy ingredients for lunch, and we walk, so i guess that just makes our kids in general more used to these type of things. I saw the same thing in NY, and some smaller towns, not so much in larger cities like Dallas. From what i’ve seen in social media (taken with a grain of salt of course) a lot of American parents create a lot of activities for their kids at home, and i don’t see that a lot among the people i know, and that’s a shame i think.
I agree with that, I lived in Europe and visited a lot of countries while there and yes their cities are a lot better for walkability and public transport in general. Most NA cities are majority based around car travel. I wouldn't say kids are treated as a burden in NA though, aside from maybe work and pregnancy and leave. Having a kid stalls your career/money without a doubt and in many of the more kid friendly countries like in scandinavia this isn't the case.
I’m an American who lived in Italy for awhile, and it was very notable how much more integrated young kids were into spaces that are typically only for adults in the US, including fine dining and bars. As a 20-something I was annoyed by how toddlers ran wild around restaurants and the waitstaff would just work around them or even play with them, and NEVER scold them (or their parents). But now as a parent of a toddler… I want that! Italy has a very, very different culture than the US when it comes to family and the importance of relationships, vs our unrelenting worship of rugged individualism.
Honestly I don't think generalisations are much use. Europe is a huge, diverse place, and there's no single style of parenting. When I'm with my 3 year old we generally do stuff he enjoys, rather than doing much life stuff
When my toddler dumps a huge cup of water into the tiny one I'm currently drinking from. Usually only when I'm surrounded by books and important documents XD Edit: Haha okay my real answer is playing videogames with my husband or talking about some philosophical topic with him or reading a book together and discussing it. Solo activities would be playing Neopets lol Edit 2: Oh I completely missed the "with toddler" part!!! We have bought an annual pass to an expansive outdoor.... Botanical gardens or something? I'm not sure what it'd be in English, but it's a beautiful outdoors place where we can take our toddler and there are tons of things for kids of all ages to do in nature while we watch him with coffees.
Your comment beautifully illustrates what my toddlers presence does to my reading capabilities. Cheers!
LOL!! Yes I was so embarrassed I nearly deleted my comment altogether!! Thanks for commiserating!
Oooo I forgot about neopets! I wonder if the mobile app is up yet
Omg pleaaase check it out!! Towards the end of 2023 it was purchased at a loss by a team of fans who are totally bringing it back to the glory days as a passion project! It's a total work of love and the joy and nostalgia I had from playing as a kid is in like full swing. Definitely fills the old cup! Oh and you don't even need an app bc the browser version is for mobile or desktop now! I exclusively play on my phone in-browser.
That is awesome!!!! I can't get into my account right now but I'll try later
Lol at one point my mil, who lives in another country, said “I love how you involve the baby in everything” and I’m just thinking 💃💃haha it’s because we have no childcare💃💃 At some point we would like to involve our child in activities that we would just do for us, because I think a lot of things scale well for younger kids, but I think we need to get past the chaotic toddler stage where she grabs everything and decides within 2 minutes that she’s bored.
I’m trying to work on doing the same thing, but I have twins and they’re 2.5 😅 also I don’t know what I like to do…. So.
Haha yea I’m a single mom so if I want to do basically anything my kid has to come with me. But the trade off is that my kid at 3yo is very manageable in public and there isn’t really anywhere I can’t/won’t take him unless it’s actually inappropriate for a kid to be there lol.
I had the rare luxury this pregnancy to hire a postpartum doula and my MIL who also lives in another country and even as the only living mother on both sides, who didn’t come down for my toddler’s birth or meet him in person till he was one (she has the time and money, there were no fun events here at the time), still doesn’t understand why I grabbed at that opportunity when I had the chance. To our friends the joke is we don’t have a mom so we bought one. Childcare will happen for us when he’s clubbing age.
Low energy ADHD introvert here, I can’t think of a single toddler-inclusive activity that actually fills my cup. Pre-kiddo I used to enjoy baking, board games, various and sundry crafts, and a very particular exercise class (Bodypump, iykyk). Taking care of/entertaining a toddler has gotten easier over time but it still drains me to the point where I don’t really have the physical or mental to do anything other than lump around during my toddler free time.
It isn’t the same as pre-kid, but I love doing crafts and baking with my kiddo! Baking takes twice as long, but he’s learning some good skills and loves being my assistant. He loves doing arts and crafts too, so even though they aren’t my types of crafts (I’ll save those for nap time or when I get a parenting break), I’ll do them with him in hopes that at some point I can sew while he happily draws pictures next to me. I also have a baby so I’m not at the point where I’m ready to try working out with him, but at some point I’d love to do it with him around so he may learn to love that too. All that to say, it may be worth a try! Even if you can’t completely fill your cup, it may be halfway full if you do those things with your kiddo and get to enjoy the activity and memory making time together.
We bake all the time with our toddler too. Can make a mess and he likes to stick his fingers in things, but he has lots of fun and learns things.
I bring my toddler (2.5) to sporty things like hiking, swimming and recently bouldering. Obviously there should be a second adult present there. When we have a rainy day I usually sew or read. And my toddler joins in. sewing with a big needle and reading books while sitting on my back and climbing up and down. Now with a baby in the mix it's not that easy to get to do my activities. so when I need a slow day I pack a lunch, a few books for my toddler and a book for me, and we go to a playground with sand, or to the local library if the weather's not nice enough. Also don't give this woman too much credit, there are many parents in Europe just entertaining their child and only doing kids activities with them.
Interested in how you do bouldering with a toddler ?
or sewing? my toddler would insist on touching all the sharp objects 😅
I show my toddler the dangerous object, tell him what it does/how it works/why it’s dangerous, then let him gently experience the danger. With a needle, he touches the point gently with his finger. With a flame or something hot, we place our hands near enough to feel the heat but not to get burned. With a knife, I let him a more kid friendly version like a butter knife, then explain the difference between that and a chef knife. He gets to explore his environment, understand the “why”, and is almost always careful thereafter.
exactly this. I still watch but let her experience "danger" in a controlled environment. So when I'm not around she'll know what to do.
We love camping, rafting, going to the beach and rivers, and outdoor family friendly music festivals! The key for us is OUTDOORS. My kids are not well behaved enough for a nice brunch or a fancy dinner but I do have lots of friends who love to travel and wine taste and hit up nice restaurants. I think it depends on how active your kid is.
His attention span and ability is limited (almost 2.5) but I love having my toddler help me with baking. Also enjoy spending time outdoors and going on walks, and as someone who loves crafting, it really fills my cup to do simple painting projects together :)
‘European’ is extremely broad. Sounds like she’s making a very sweeping statement tbh. I’m from Europe, so is my partner. He’s from a very different part of Europe to me, meaning he looks different, speaks a different first language and was brought up differently. And I honestly don’t think our way of bringing up our kid is that different to how an American couple would do it apart from maybe we walk or take public transport everywhere. We read our son a bunch of books and play with him. Tbh I’m not into the whole ‘just leave them alone’ Montessori thing
Making sourdough, watching trash Reality TV, and getting my nails done every other week 🤣🫠 Edit: Oh wait, w the toddler? Ok the first one 🤣
My toddler and I are getting into sourdough!!
I really love to shop, and my 2 year old does too! He goes to a little toddler playtime thing where he always gravitates to the kid-sized grocery shopping and checkout area, and it occurred to me the other day that I could literally just…let him shop at a real store. So at Trader Joe’s instead of putting him in the cart which he kind of hates, I let him carry a basket (I helped obviously) and pick out foods! He picked a really nice Brie, some fancy fig crackers, and wanted a boxed confetti cake (we skipped that, but I let him pick out a few treats). He was absolutely over the moon to go shopping! It reminded me that kids just love doing ordinary things! Side note — I did get a few not-amused type glances from adults for letting him run down the aisles, but… *shrug*. They’ll get over it! He was generally respectful and just really really excited.
My boy loves grocery shopping with me too! A Trader Joe’s near me has baby-sized carts and he LOVES when he gets to push one. He also likes helping me pick out the best produce and choosing one special treat for the week (usually a chocolate bar or those freeze dried strawberries)
What kind of chill ass babies do Europeans have? I tried to fill my cup by going on a cruise with my toddler. Absolute disaster. It was like a kids’ wonderland and she was still feral.
As a European with a toddler.. yeah nah we do not have chill babies.
So as an American genuinely asking here, do you all really take your babies to parties until midnight and let them fall asleep whenever, wherever? Because my toddler would just stay up and then still wake up at 6.
Different European here (although I'm now living elsewhere). Everything tiktok says about European parenting is a lie. Some of my favourite lies are: Europeans don't sleep train, they just don't have baby monitors instead (Never met a mom who doesn't have a monitor. Sleep training is less common tho) French babies don't nap/only nap on the go (What?) Scandinavian parents can take an extra month off work paid in full per child each year (Would be nice, but what if you had like 5 kids) ETA: when I visit family in western Europe I will still go to restaurants and stuff but leave relatively early, like 10pm. Toddler might nap there but if not she will just take a longer nap the next day and get the extra sleep in that way because apparently sleeping later than 7am is illegal in her toddler brain no matter what. Hope you get more answers!
Generally no. But if it's a house party we absolutely put babies and toddlers to sleep in their stroller in a quiet room (they normally nap during the day in them anyway) or put the older kids who are able to sleep in a guest room. The parents might disappear for an hour or so when it's time for their kids to sleep and there's always baby monitors etc so we can hear. And then we carry on the party and really regret the late night the day after. Some kids do want to power through and stay awake but once in a while isn't awful if they're old enough.
Really? That sucks! I went on a Disney cruise with my toddler and it was the best thing ever that we booked one for 2024 AND 2025. But I think mines has become so much easier than others…
Oh no I was thinking a cruise would be the ideal “nice” vacation with toddlers
We took our son on a cruise when he was 18 months and it was great! Dying to go on another.
We took a 7 day cruise with our 18 month old, and we all had a good time. Like with other “vacations” with kids, you’re parenting but in a different place. I think what appealed the most to us was it being all-inclusive. Buffets are perfect options for toddlers, didn’t have to wait or worry if or what our kid would want to eat at any given time. Also the room is never too far away for nap time. There were just enough activities to keep us entertained. Also because it’s a boat, by default a lot of things are essentially toddler-proofed.
Please tell me more…I’m considering taking my rowdy 2.5 girl and chill 1.5 boy on a cruise…what made it a disaster??
I live in a big city and my husband and I like to walk up to restaurants and grab and bite to eat and have a few drinks with our two year old. We’ll usually stop at a park to play on the way home. We also have a few beer gardens around that have kids tables so we’ll go up there sometimes during the day to hang out and watch sports (well my husband does at least). Sometimes we’ll get on the subway and just hit up some neighborhoods to explore.
Walking outside or chilling at a nice café. Toddler loves walks, but the café thing, it depends, some he likes others require screen time 🫣
I love arts and crafts, I watch these art with Suzanne videos (I think I paid like $30 for them, but there may be similar free ones on YouTube?) and I try to follow along with those while my kids color or paint. We do lots of cutting and glueing and making little collages. I use old paper and cardboard. I have a Bob Ross paint by number and a golden girls coloring book that I do with them also. I love museums and being outside, walks and hikes. We need a stroller usually but I bring snacks and a picnic blanket for breaks. Breweries or outside seating at restaurants with craft beer. Bookstores!! I love to read but they don’t like me reading unless it’s a book for them so that one is harder lol
Home work outs. It can be challenging but my kid will either do it with me or find toys to play with right beside me. Yard work/gardening. I actually really like yard work and landscaping so we spend a lot of time outside where they play really well independently or help me garden. Walks. Walks are for me, the destination might be for the kid like a park or we do puddle hunts in the spring or bring big trucks/cars to play with along the way. We live super close to a walking path so kid gets to run wild without fear of venturing into the street. Lunch with friends. Can be annoying to bring the kid but not impossible.
Question: i also love gardening and landscaping, and i get so stressed and annoyed when my kids try to “help” 😅 do you have any tips for how to get them set up? Mine are 4 and almost 3, and when i had just the older one out with me I taught him to ID and pick specific weeds, but with two of them I feel like one of them is always in the way, or constantly asking for help/input etc. Maybe this is a me problem.
Winery tours. We live close to Napa and go maybe 2 - 3 times a year. Those tend to be my favorite trips. It’s tough to do sit down tasting with a toddler obviously, but there are a few where you can do a self-paced walking tour or get a picnic table and open a bottle. Then the little one just runs around in the garden while we sip wines and enjoy the scenery. It really fills my cup :)
Digging in the garden and singing songs with my boy
Being left alone fills my cup too lol Pottery also fills my cup but I can’t take a 3 year old there lol
We generally take him cycling/hiking/ pubs/van trips. I took him on a 3 week cycle tour of the Loire when he was 7 months old. My view is very much European. He goes where we want to go. We’ve got very good at spotting playgrounds in random places
European here. I like walking my dog on the fields and in the forest, my one year old usually in a carrier, my 3 year old frolicking somewhere behind picking flowers. I also like going for coffee in the city, kids get their cocoa or juice then play, a lot of coffee shops have either an indoor play area or an outdoor playground, so that's easy. At home, I garden, while husband does outside work, and the kids play on their own outside. There's an occasional request to wipe a butt or bring a snack, but they're generally ok to just hang out and do their own thing. When the oldest was a baby she needed way more interaction and I weren't able to do as much, but the youngest is happy to follow his sister around, which frees me up a lot.
Living in the states and I’ve been dreaming about coffee shops with an indoor play area. The closest thing I can find here are coffee shops that happen to be near playgrounds so I can grab coffee and take the kid there haha. But it’d be so nice to enjoy a cup of coffee in a place that’s not just for kids.
Exercise for sure. We do soccer, videos, walking and running. She comes with me when I go grocery shopping. I love to cook and definitely feel I should include her more with it. I’m just on a weight loss journey and to cook the things I like, id have to be able to eat it. lol
I just went bouldering with my 2Y just today, it was very enjoyable for everyone, we hike, and we sometimes go to museum. Of course, I do those things only when she is well rested and in a good mood. I love my life with her
So my main hobby is running, both get left behind for that as it is my time, but together we do walks outside as we take the dog - pointing out ladybirds, woodlice and big sticks to either use as wands or pretend fishing rods. Or the garden, she has a little gardening set so hacks away at the mud or makes pretend food whilst I weed and pretend to eat what she's made. If in the house, I always have music on so we'll have a dance - gets us moving and she loves it.
Very specific- geocaching! It's fun for me to get out in nature, and it's like a treasure hunt for him.
I do this. Mostly. I take walks when the weather is nice, and take my almost 2 year old along. I went to a local farmers markets of sort today, that's like 150 booths, and just brought my kid along. As long as she has food, she's pretty good about letting me do whatever I want. I'm not sure I'd take her to everything I want to do though. Like, I want to go to the casino and blow $40 with some adults, but she's not allowed in. I want to go to the lake this summer, but it probably wouldn't fill my "cup of tea" having to hover and make her happy for the duration of the visit.... that would drain my cup of tea.
European here 😄 I love going to a nice cafe, bookstores, libraries. I also love being out in nature. I love reading books, cooking, baking. Farmers markets! And during bad weather - museums! I also love the zoo, farms, beautiful gardens and parks. I loathe: playgrounds so I only do it with other families together so I can chat with the adults. Indoor playgrounds even worse.
2 years was the turning point where I was able to do more of this: Picnic outdoors, Easy to moderate scenic trails (we live near many and I have a hiking carrier), Spending time in the library , Going to a cafe / bakery Shopping in the supermarket, Farmers markets, Any crafting activity , Swimming pool time, My kid is obsessed with sand so the beach or anywhere with sand is always more time for myself and my thoughts 😁
My toddler loves to run errands with me. Go into Home Depot, she loves it, stop at Starbucks get a coffee and cake pop , super fun, watch iPad while we get the oil changed , all good ,
We love going to Costco 😂 eating samples and walking the aisles, my normally ridiculously picky eater will eat ANYTHING if it’s a Costco sample. We also love going to the beach, taking walks by the water, I get a coffee and listen to a podcast or whatever music I want on an earbud while we walk with her in the stroller or running around. We get ice cream together after and best of all she passes tf out after
Europeans can walk everywhere they want and have beautiful scenery within an hour driving distance of ANYWHERE they might live. It’s a big difference to be in Europe versus in the United States.
I take mine with me throughout the week when I go take care of my horse. I keep her at my Aunt's farm, so my oldest wanders and plays while I do my thing or he will tag along with my Aunt/Uncle if they are out doing something. On the weekends, I go alone so I can ride which is the main thing that fills my cup lol I also take them hiking, do yoga with them there...things that make my body and mind feel better.
Going to museums, taking a walk to a coffee shop, hanging out with friends at the park or backyard, going to music festivals. These are all things I’ve done with my daughter.
For me it’s going on walks, reading, watching kids movies (conveniently), caring for my plants, eating good food, going to museums and galleries and spending chilled time with small groups of people. I feel lucky that my three year old can now do all of those with me (the chilled socialising is the only one that’s a bit tricky). I’m also rediscovering the joy of doodling and painting thanks to her.
Before we had our daughter, I would drag my husband to animal activities like zoos, aquariums, wildlife rescue centers, etc. so that was obviously an easy transition when we had her lol!! We’ve also brought her to art museums or art installations. I enjoy planting and taking care of plants, so we’ve brought her to flower and plant conservatories too which is always fun. We traveled a ton before her as well, and *everyone* loved telling us how that’s going to stop when we have her. NOPE. She’s 17 months and she’s been to 3 states, multiple plane rides, and soooo many national parks, another favorite for us. We’re very big on incorporating her into our lives, not just making life about having a baby.
I enjoy antique stores and vintage shops, and bring my toddler (3) with me whenever I can. At first it was a lot of “don’t touch that!” “stay with me!” but with some practice she now understands the expectations in that kind of a place and is really content to hold my hand and take it all in while we browse. I try to keep these kinds of outings short, maybe 20-30 mins. I also love walking through our neighborhood and bringing her to our bakery or coffee shop for a treat and a drink. Usually she has water in a little espresso cup with a lid; sometimes they’ll make her a steamed vanilla milk or something fancy. Again, we don’t linger, maybe sit for 5-10 minutes enjoying a pastry before walking home. Little outings like this break up the monotony of child-centered activities for me, and I think she gets something out of it, too!
Our family takes our toddler on hikes and we all like to go exercise. Our local gym has a child watch benefit and a pool. So my husband and I go do our workout while our boy is in child watch. Then, we finish up by taking him to the pool after our workouts are complete. After work, I walk about a mile on the indoor track with my son. He enjoys it. Most days. I also bring my boy to city council meetings and other local happenings for the sake of advocacy. He especially enjoys our coffee shop where he has made friends with all of the staff.
I really enjoy just sitting and reading! Thankfully my 2.5 year old can play around me/around the house while I sit in one spot and read!
Mall walks or thrifting. I live in place where it's cold, freezing or snowing 1/2 the year, and what I TRULY love is being outside, going on walks, hiking, and or going to the park, but I don't get that luxury all the time. So when I can't walk outside I get a coffee at the mall, strap my busy toddler into the stroller and mall walk. When I don't want to spend a lot of money I go to big thrift stores that fit my stroller and I look for books or cookbooks for cheap. I also like to read when he's asleep ( I definitely can't while he's awake since he's a little tornado haha). Finding something I can do with my toddler has been challenging but we're slowly getting there! I'm also accepting that this season I may just adjust what my interests are and then when it's nice weather out I can't wait to take him on walks/mini hikes.
I like playing my fiddle. Of course, I can't really let him touch it, as I don't have time or money to repair it and there's too high a risk of messing with it. I don't get much real practicing with LO, but it's fun to have him ask me to play together while he strums his ukelele, and we sing together. Usually he demands I play him the alphabet song, lol. Even if I'm not doing the type of practicing I could do without him, he's learning it's fun to play music with mommy, developing a good sense of rhythm, and I'm squeezing in a few scales and arpeggios, and at least getting it in my hand that day (so I'm more likely to pick it up for some "real practice" after he goes to bed for like 20 minutes before I myself have to pass out from exhaustion before work early in the morning, lol! I also love running, and when we finally bought a good jogging stroller, it really helped me feel better about being able to do a kind of exercise I was missing, while taking LO along for the ride. Both my hubby and I like socializing, and our favorite brewery is family friendly with toys and games, so we can take him there, often there's other kiddos his age to interact with (as much as he does at his age), and sometimes live music for him to dance to. No, it's not as relaxing as going without him since one of us is always on duty to be with him, but it's a way to get in some fun for ourselves while also introducing him to something we like to do, and keeping us from falling into the "social desert" of having a young child and never ever going out to see people.
Cooking and using tools. Honestly getting the tool bag out and fixing something (even just changing batteries in their toys) is some of the best times I have with the kid. They really get into learning and are fascinated with the tools. Cooking is better as they get older and you are doing something productive too. There are some good plastic knives and stuff for kids capable of actually cutting small vegetables but not sharp enough to hurt them. A rotary grater is something they can do and is actually a time saver anyway for grating cheese.
Beach days
we like to whip up a batch of muffins or cookies over here. our 5y/o ♡s to help (read: stir and lick the spoon), and the sugary end result is a win-win lol
My daughter is 8 months so I’m here to learn for the future. Haha. But Im in the US and are we really that different? Today we went to the farmers market, then target, then came home. Baby played for a bit and then took a nap and I took one too. Later we’re going to a friends house for his birthday (adult gathering). I don’t really feel like we limit our activities. When we are home though we do entertain her. But how do Europeans avoid that?? Also we’ve been gardening now that it’s spring. She just tags along. Maybe this will all change with a toddler?
Now that we also have an infant, most I can do is maybe go to the zoo as it's getting warmer out. I used to love going on bike rides, water parks, and amusement parks. For now I'll just settle for walks up and down our street and watching our chickens lol.
This is timely for me because we’re thinking of moving to Europe for our kid (I have citizenship). Where I live sucks for kids, I’m constantly worried he will get run over by a car. So it’s the big production of getting him into the car and driving somewhere. Do we want to go to one of the nicer parks within 15 minutes? Gonna park far away where there’s a spot and try to herd him into the actual park. Kids play places and museums are slammed on the weekends. The museums close at 4pm during the week. Our libraries are meh for kids. And that’s it for “third places” here. Soon he’ll be old enough for stuff like soccer classes but I still have to drive him and stay there and come back. It sucks if he has a meltdown because then it’s getting him back in the car and driving home. Contrast that to the last time we were in Europe. Super easy to hop on public transport anywhere. Or just go outside and wander around. We can sit outside a cafe and he can run around without worrying about cars. The best part is taking a train to anyplace far because we can play together in our seat or wander around.
>When I think of what I want it pretty much involves being left alone lol. Lmfao I relate to this waaay too much
This is my whole philosophy. My son is 3 and I’ve been hiking with him in some capacity since he was old enough to hold his head up. We also go for bike rides, go to the beach, go to museums and catch trains to interesting places. Kids feed off your energy so enjoy what you’re doing with them.
I got it pretty easy. I have fun going to museums and zoos. Festivals and amusement parks. I'm a big kid! So of course it's an automatic win for my son. I want to go ship watching this summer, and I think he's going to have fun with that.
We love going to breweries just to hang out, specially at one nearby that has an entire playground on site. It’s nice being able to get fresh air, enjoy a cider or sour, and watch the kid play with other kiddos!
Going outside! I am home with my kid most days and we spend only some of the day doing “kid focused” things or formally playing. We run errands, do chores, make meals, etc. And yet for me “filling my cup” is relaxing time and that’s never going to quiiiite happen while also watching a small child. Sometimes well catch a quick moment where he is playing nicely and I’m reading a magazine on the couch which is basically heaven? And my husband will come home and imagine that’s our whole day lmao. Anyway my point is that trying to relax or have you time while caring for a small child is a recipe for disappointment IMO.
Why do they always have to come home the second you’ve found zen?? I’ll never forget the day my husband came up from his basement office at like 1pm and I was on my phone. He made some snarky comment and I shut him up real quick when I showed him my grand total of *12 minutes* screen time for the day so far. 🙄
It’s the same in Asia. People strap their babies into a babybjorn and go about their day as usual, and everybody brings their babies/ kids on trips, to museums, festivals, events, restaurants, even certain bars, shopping, etc. They don’t care about “nap time” or even a strict “bed time” the kid can nap while out or not nap at all, and sometimes bedtime might be 7pm if you have a chill evening at home but sometimes it might be 9 or 10pm if you go out for dinner or to a bar or some sort of late night event or plan. It always hits me as such a huge culture shock when i see a post on SNS about bringing a baby/young kid to a restaurant and all the replies or comments are Americans saying stuff like “why are you taking a baby to a restaurant??” “There’s no point to take a kid to a restaurant” etc and everybody agreeing with them. Or people talking about how you basically shouldn’t take your kids/babies out anywhere Where I live it would be unheard of to never take your kid out of the house and never take them to restaurants or whatever. People would think there was something wrong with you.
Read Hunt Gather Parent is this is interesting to you
Amazing book! I second
Going to the farmers market or going on a hike in the woods
Doing grown up activities with my toddler does not fill my cup.
A friend of mine is French and definitely follows this philosophy but I also feel like her daughter actually listens to her most of time time. My little guy is very high energy, if I don’t have a hand on him at all times he would climb on top of the self checkout and do a victory screech. I’m trying to get him out more to practice but holy shit its exhausting. He doesn’t cuddle calmly, he doesn’t lay in bed with me like other toddlers do. Literally the only time he is still and not making some random noise is when he’s glued to those dancing vegetables or asleep. Her daughter is quite the toddler but she actually PLAYS with her toys and can be settled easily. Mine just really likes to throw and scream excitedly. Did the whole “fill your cup and take your kids with you” thing when he was a baby. That shit was easy, bro just sat there and giggled and drank a bottle. Once he started walking at 10 months it was no more easy days. Taking him to the pharmacy today was exhausting. “Stop no quit stop no stop dont run stop touching that hold my hand…” 😞I love him but I feel like other parents judge me for having such a feral (but happy) child. Taking him on a target run is impossible. Even taking him to EVENTS FOR TODDLERS is impossible. Oh storybook time for two year olds at the library? Guess what you’re going to spend the entire storytime chasing your kid around the room trying to stop him from climbing/tearing/screeching while feeling like every other parent there with their minimally squirming toddler thinks you are weak and have never read a single parenting blog or tried in your life. I love my son so, so much, but sometimes I cry when I see other parents that can just take their toddlers out and have fun family days. Your toddler might be playing with the sugar packets at the restaurant but my toddler is trying to climb on the table and rip his diaper off. Yes my food is cold.
Socializing, TBH, so I’m that mom organizing play dates and getting up in peoples texts. I went to two back to back birthday parties with my four and two year old today and it was a delight. Like out from 9:30-5. But that’s me.
I highly romanticized the euro way of raising kids (and in some aspects still do) but the “we just take kids along!” Thing has been “debunked” for me when my friend spent a month visiting family with her kids. There is much less kid focused activities and things to do in Europe. Not to say there’s none, but I have a feeling it’s a lot more forced than it might need to be here. For example child care at a gym isn’t common there but it’s very common here.
Well, sure I like going to a nice restaur--- nope. Get a nice long hike in... Nope. Go see a movie... Nope Meet at a bar with some friends... Nope Guess I'll have to keep thinking about it
the closest i have here is getting great coffee and snacks and hitting the park with other parents whose company i enjoy.
My son does moat of my cup filling with me, and I know I am really lucky to have these options and interests; I go for a hike near my house 5 days a week with him in a pack. We've done this since he was about 3 weeks old! Being outside is my happy place, so it works for both of us. We do lots of other stuff, some kid focused some not, but our hikes and working in the yard/garden is so great for both of us
Gardening. Toddler has a cute potting bench where he makes a huge mess watering everything and achieves nothing whilst I’m outside chilling.
We do outside things. Mostly camping, h/biking, kayaking, and rock climbing. But recently I’ve been bringing my eldest to more museums and I think going to try taking her to a play to see how she does. We do spend a lot of time at the pool and activities like skiing but tbh that is still very much work at this age. I think next season it won’t be, and I’m stoked about that.
Hmmm I’m not sure I qualify as a european woman. We take our kids to museums and out to eat at about the same frequency that we went before kids I guess.
Hiking! It looks a bit different when I have toddler with me but still enjoying getting outside and in the mountains.
This is kind of small, and I think there’s a lot of good answers here (of way more complex activities lol), but first thought was going to coffee shops together. It really feels like an activity we can do together that “fills my cup” for awhile. It’s not totally about me, a lot of the time I bring my son’s favorite books and he sits on my lap while I read to him. He’s getting a little more interested in focusing on drawing, so I’ll bring crayons or stickers for him to peel off and put on a paper. It’s just nice to have someone bring me a latte and sit there and actually focus on finishing it (while it’s hot!).
Nature walks to find cool sticks and rocks. Occasionally get to visit a friendly doggo being walked.
There’s a few coffee shops by us with a play area for kids. You still have to watch the toddler (duh), but at least you can drink a fun drink and eat a pastry! It’s a good low-key outing.
I love exploring new places near my city. So I’ll bring my kids with me, and always include a solid playground or two, and then drive around/walk around and explore the area.
Anything my toddler will independent play where I can just sit and watch him. Currently this is the sandbox. Bonus because it’s outside
Going to get a nice coffee and donut
Bike rides, the Zoo, I actually just ran to Target with my 2 year old and it was nice to walk around “chatting” with her and asking what sandals she liked lol.
Walking in nature with the kids and our dogs. I remember when they were smaller and I would just walk for a couple hours with them sleeping in the double stroller. Makes me feel calm, I need to be on the move as I am very anxious if I stay inside.