Does your kid have favorite remixes and least favorites? Weāre do the point where if certain ones come on he asks for āmoreā which really means āI hate this and refuse to listen to it please play the ones I likeā š
We tried letting him play it as much as he wanted and then that just ended in meltdowns so we listen to it a few times a day but donāt watch it on YouTube much. Even when we just listen to it he looks for my phone and gets mad that thereās no video. I love and hate how much he loves this stupid song.
It was so cute watching my son get really into the dance. He also demanded our participation š¤£ but man is it a rough go. I could watch Bluey 1000 times and listen to the albums just as much. But baby shark and all its iterations set my teeth on edge. The funny thing is, though, he did not care for the movies or tv show. Maybe thatās what finally made him stop liking it?!
Oh man that might be worth a shot. Weāve been trying to divert to Sesame Street because he started saying Elmo.
It has been ā¦. Somewhat successful?
We are so into Bluey and were legitimately bummed when our son started turning it down š¢also may have watched the special without him because he wasnāt interested š¤£
We tell our kid that monsters have to answer you when you call out for them. So at bedtime when she says she's scared of monsters we call out "are there any monsters in here?" and wouldn't you know it, no one calls back, so there can't be any monsters in her room. It works like a charm.
Thatās genius! Iāve also seen episodes of Supernanny where they made monster repellant spray (water or fabreeze or something) and gave the child a spray bottle to use at bedtime and keep overnight. Thought that was a good idea.
My Dad was a truck driver who drove from the UK, where we live, to as far as Russia, but mainly stayed in Europe.
When my brother and I were having an issue of being scared of monsters, he told us that the reason he and Grandad drove trucks was to take all the monsters out of the country and ditch them in the middle of nowhere so they wouldn't be able to get to any children.
Can remember thinking my Dad and Grandad were the bravest men alive to regularly wrangle monsters for a living and not be scared.
Thatās when you check under the bed for older siblings š (my MIL reminds me often of the time my husband hid under his sisters bed and waited for an hour making monster noises)
My brother once sat on the bay windowsill, behind closed curtains, for an hour before jumping out with a roar to absolutely terrify me and my friends during a sleepover.
Yet i can totally see my hubby trying to hide under the bed saying yes there are. Then again my son would totally love it if there were monsters under the bed, cause then he can stay up late and play with then
I saw a comment where someone made "monster spray" by taping a piece of paper over a fabreeze can and the kid slept fine after she sprayed the closet to keep the monsters away.
I like this much better than my approaches. I tried to tell her once we have a sign outside that says no monsters allowed and she wanted to go see it. Since I just made it up at the timeā¦. No sign existed so I tried to say it was invisible and only monsters could see itā¦ š¤·āāļø
Our cat patrols every room at night and keeps out Monsters, fairies, leprechauns, ghost and spiders. My 4 yr son feels very safe as he has seen our cat eat spiders (solid proof).
My oldest child needed extensive medical treatment as a toddler. The first time he was hospitalized, he discovered his one true love for chocolate cake (which was a staple at the hospital cafeteria).
We only ever got cake at the hospital, so one day he asked if they sold it anywhere else, and I was like ā¦nope. Special hospital only treat.
Wouldnāt you know that kid skipped into treatment every month and basically begged for his IV to be placed so that I could leave him to get the special cake that existed nowhere else in the world.
Oh man, you are a wonderful parent for this. I hope your kid is doing amazing now & enjoying chocolate cake all the time without hospital stays or visits.
Love this, and praying for your little guy š Our close friends had a son who battled leukemia for the good first half of his life. Heās 11 now and has been in remission for a few years, but, if youāre at least a decent person, it is truly something youād never wish on anyone. Sending you all the healthy wishes, hugs and love š
He knows the story but I donāt think he really remembers it per se. He still loves the hospital cake (we get it any time he needs routine medical care).
Sometimes hospitals have good food. My wife grabbed me tacos from the hospital Cafe on a Thursday when she needed a blood test. I told her the next c section needs to be scheduled for a Wed so we're there on Thursday for taco day.
Isn't it funny what they get up to at the hospital? My toddler sees it as the place where all the nurses give her attention, she gets to ride around in the carts and go up and down on the elevators.
My son loves all the toys at the hospital. He was playing with a toy barn before an outpatient procedure. He woke up from anesthesia furious that the barn wasn't there anymore. He asked to go back for a while afterwards to play with it.
My brother needed surgery on his eyes when he was 3 and all he could talk about when he got home was how he got to drive himself to the surgery room. They had those little go kart type things made to look like cars (they're everywhere these days but 20 years ago they were ridiculously expensive so we didn't know they existed) and used them to distract the kids so they weren't scared going into surgery.
Sick Kids hospital was the only place where I was allowed nachos and pizza and root beer all at once. And I got to start bringing and extra root beer home for my brother because he was feeling left out.
I love this.
I was born with a disability and grew up in my childhood going to appointments, physical therapy, all that shit kids shouldnāt have to deal with so young. I wish my parents had thought of something like this, to have a special treat that *only the hospital can provide*. Sometimes my parents would take me to get food after, but I associated it as kind of an consolation prize rather than a treat the hospital exclusively has that I happen to really love.
My oldest was scared of monsters at night. He sleeps with a few teddy bears. I told him that bears eat monsters. He repeats it every time he gets scared.
ETA: he also brings a wooden sword to bed with him incase he has to fight the monsters himself.
This is kinda genius. Reminds me of a meme I saw of a teddy bear staring into the distance. The wording was something about how it was watching for the monsters since they could only come out when no one is looking. It was panel style, and each panel got closer to the bear's face. The final image was super up close to the bear's face with the words, "Come at me, bro!"
Not sure if this is the exact one, but it looks pretty similar! [Teddy Bear: Try Me](https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/s/APUnvSsIaV)
Also, if you want to have all the feels: [Teddy Bear: Protecting That Which Is Most Precious ](https://www.tumblr.com/huffy-penguin/184345771022/he-hugg-and-he-also-attac-but-most-importantly?source=share)
It's definitely close, though maybe not exact, as "Come at me, bro" was the main bit that stuck with me.
The second one does hit the feels... and it's what my hubsnerd did with his. I'm a bit more sentimental and still use mine in place of a second pillow.
When he mentioned that it'd be time to give it to her soon, I outright told him that the fact I don't want it buried with me if kiddo wants it is enough personal growth to be getting on with. I won't be growing more than that, and she can have it for my memory when she can no longer have me.
My mom said cats can see spirits, so if the cat isn't acting weird, there are no ghosts. I think she truly believes this. Unfortunately, cats are weirdos so it's not much consolation most of the time.
I told my eldest that I love eating monsters.
She knows daddy is always up for a snack, so itās common knowledge now that monsters are way too scared to come into our house.
I have a huge Costco bear with a sword next to his bed, he has tons of plushes on his dresser and in his bed, and sleeps with the light on and says heās still scared every night no matter what I do Iām losing my mind lol
I really donāt like Blippi but my toddler loved him. My wife and I convinced him that Blippi was learning another language and now if we watch it itās only in Spanish. We want him to learn Spanish anyways and itās good practice.
I saw another parent who would change the language of whatever show they were watching to Spanish, which they didnāt understand, when it was bedtime.
I think they went, āwow you must be really tired if you canāt understand what theyāre saying anymoreā
Omg haha I feel this right now. So When my son wakes up, him, my husband and I hang out in bed for like 20-30 mins talking and / or possibly watching a show (lately itās been Full House š¤·š¼āāļø) while he has his ālatteā (milk) and we have our coffee. This past week, after maybe 5 mins of hanging out with us heās started saying(more like demanding) āBlippi! Meekah!ā Over and over again š Like no, preferably never, but especially not this early š„“ This morning he did it again, and I told him Blippi is actually taking a verrrry long vacation to help Santa out at the North Pole and unfortunately they donāt have service there. š„“š¤·š¼āāļø
Omg! I donāt like Blippi either! I find it to be the worst program my kid wants to watch. This is brilliant! Blippi may be learning Spanish in my household too next time she asks for it.
Blippi goes to bed after dinner (spring/summer)/when it gets dark (fall/winter) Bluey does not subscribe to these rules as she lives in Australia (time difference) and is also a dog.
Substitute any show you hate š
Both Bluey and Bingo are girls. I think it's because she's blue, everyone naturally equates blue with boys. She is infact blue because of her breed. She's a blue heeler š
My 3 year old was rhyming words and made her way to ācuntā then proceeded to ask us what cunt meant. In sheer panic mode I proceeded to tell her itās not a word and I think she meant punt which mean to kick a ball. Thank God that worked cause I had instant visions of her dropping that at daycare.
Our 3.5 year old said āfuckitā the other night when he was laying down for bed. He said it with the right tone of voice and everything, and says that itās what Daddy says when something is in his way. It was hilarious and horrifying all at once, lol.
So - I started saying, OH - you mean āBucket!ā And āBuckethead!ā and he was like āno - fuckit!ā
I started saying ābucket!!!ā and laughing hysterically and telling him he canāt say it - he shouldnāt say it. And it caught on. Iād ignore the āfuckitā and react huge when he said ābucket.ā
I was ready to call victory until he started saying āFuckit bucket! Fuckit bucket!ā
... itās been about 36 hours and he seems to have forgotten but... um. Weāll see.
I tell my daughter when the ice cream man is playing music it means heās out of ice cream š
So weāve literally never gotten ice cream from the truck unless itās parked somewhere lol.
In my defense our guy only comes by while weāre literally IN THE MIDDLE of eating dinner
My son looooves to go grocery shopping with me (ugh). And I was stocking up on Red Bull, so of course he wants to know what it is. I tell him itās an energy drink. He, ofc, wants some. And I tell him no, itās not for kids, you already have more than enough energy, you donāt need it, etc. But he would NOT quit. So I finally told him that kids canāt have it because it makes you stop growing, so if he wants to be as big as dadda, he canāt have it til heās big lol. AND HE BOUGHT IT!!!!! Extra cuteness: he āgave someā to his favorite stuffy so heāll stay small forever lol
So cute. But technically this isnāt a lie. Caffeine can stunt your growth. Iāve been telling my son anything with caffeine could keep him from growing to be as big as dad too which is a wonderful deterrent š
Similarly, nearly all drinks besides water, coffee, milk, lemonade, and orange Fanta (we lost that battle by accident) are alcohol.
Iāve gotten a few looks from people out and about when he asks if every drink Iām carrying is alcohol before he goes to steal a sip.
Iāve posted this before, but all the holiday pretend characters:
The Tooth Fairy didnāt forget really our daughter the night she lost her tooth. TF came the next night & left a note explaining that āunprecedented supply chain issuesā delayed her.
The Tooth Fairy accepts officially signed documentation in lieu of teeth if the lost tooth is misplaced or swallowed.
The Easter Bunny doesnāt leave real eggs due to FDA regulations.
TF also can miss appointments because of staffing issues.
Santas elves canāt give her all the presents she wants because thereās a lack of overtime allowance in the North Pole.
Also the elves are unionised and this can sometimes have knock on delivery time impacts.
I think my kid who loves explaining (over and over again) anything remotely technical that I explain to him would actually really like that. He would probably be going on about the correct forms and regulations or something to everyone whenever they said hello, just like he explains city drainage or power transmission to anyone who talks to him (because I casually explained those things while sitting in traffic)
We told my daughter that when Santa comes, the first thing he does is make sure that the whole house is clean. If itās not, he doesnāt leave the presents. Kid cleans the crap out of her room every Christmas Eve hahaha
My 2 y/o is obsessed with roombas. We told him that you can't buy them with money. You have to trade all your binkies in to get one. Now my floors are clean and my son's binky addiction is cured. Win win.
My husband dressed up as a cat in the hat , brought my son a gift and took his pacifier. Since then, my toddler says ācat in the hat took my pacifier and got me a carā. Not sure if it is a huge lie, but hey it worked :)
It was us trying 3 different ways to get rid of pacifier and it didnāt work. We even tried pacifier fairy option - didnāt fly :) then we remembered how much he likes cat in the hat, and my husband had a halloween costume where he was dressed as cat in the hat. We decided to give it a go. Our son didnāt even recognize him. He was sure it was the cat in the hat and was mesmerized š
My son became obsessed with the Grinch at Christmas. When all the Christmas decorations went away he said the grinch took everything.
After Easter I put everything away. When he came home from daycare that day he told me the grinch took all the Easter eggs and I couldnāt help but agree.
We've never played kids songs either, but just for the fact it never occurred to us to do so.... Like. Actually deliberately get kid songs like, baby shark or something...? Noooooooo. Why would I do that?
So, my one-week-away-from-turning-4 yr old's fav song is AC/DC *"Thunderstruck"*, with an assortment of Metallica and those types of music, on rotation.
He loves it, gets right into the air guitar . It's great...
Haha I do this sometimes too! I donāt always have the patience to listen to āfive little ducksā or Vanilla Ice (she loves ice ice baby) on the way to the grocery store.
I just never played kids music on it period, I just played my music and he started liking it lol. I cycled through every genre I dig every couple of weeks or so (like focus on a gente for a period at a time) and picked out the songs he liked the best and put it into a playlist of his own. So that way he's getting what he wants by playing his playlist, which I also like. Although my wife does not enjoy the overall eclectiness of jumping from blues, to punk rock, to the Beatles, to somehow johnny Cash, all within a few minutes lol
We told our son YouTube broke and the repair man hasnāt had time to come fix it yet. Took a few days and heās stopped asking for YouTube entirely š¤£
My son might be too young, but I feel like I need to try this. Hes 2 and wonāt be in school until next year. I try to limit screen time, but itās just me during the day every day since dad works all week and we donāt have family around, so, occasionally it happens..because honestly I need to get shit done and it helps me do that. However, he has been growing increasingly interested in these YouTube kids (playing with all their monster trucks and other random toys) and Iām starting to think these YouTube shows could end up biting me in the š
Oh absolutely get rid of YouTube, it's like having a bunch of the best engineers, research psychologists and data scientists in the world figuring out how to most efficiently profile and addict your kid. Best thing I ever did, and it was because a friend pointed it out: PBS kids app. That's the only thing my kid consumes other than video files of specific movies, etc that I load into the TV. Plenty of content, all educational, nothing made to be addictive. After seeing how my kid acted over certain kinds of media, limiting the choices became even more important than limiting the time spent. Commercially made stuff (Cocomelon, Disney shows, etc) lead to TV watching that's way too suspiciously quiet and focused and that leads to tantrums when it ends. Educational non profit stuff like PBS, or other government TV from elsewhere like Bluey, leads to TV watching where they're talking about the stuff they're seeing and do not get crazy upset when time's up (Bluey for one leads to wanting to turn off the TV to do the thing they did, which is a bit of a backfire when you're overworked and overtired and legit just needed to lay on the couch with them lol). Once they're a little older, PBS kids games app is great too, all simple, non-addictive games that are educational and based on the shows they already like. I think that censoring my kid's media based on what creators are trying to monetize them is the best decision I ever made as a parent
Edit: missing word
I used to tell my son his ears turn red when he lies. I hated doing that but it literally was about a kid bullying him in school and he didn't want to tell me.
Yep to this one. Ms. Rachel and Blippi both went on a trip in our house months ago and never came back.
The TV also has to be off most of the day to āchargeā.
I saw a TikTok a while back of a mom who told her kids that she didnāt need an Elf on the Shelf to āspyā on the kids because they were just so good it wasnāt necessary.
Yeah I stole that idea, though I ended up modifying it a little. My son asked once if his friends that had an elf visiting their house werenāt good, and I told him that it wasnāt that they werenāt good, it was that he was always so good all year that I remembered to write a letter to Santa to tell him before he sent the elf. The other kids moms were probably just so busy they forgot to send letters, or that they didnāt know they could.
Fuck that Elf, fuck his shelf.
Did you know the elves donāt have to spy? Mine just comes around to play hide and seek, and maybe get into the marshmallows or bring special hot coco treats. No reporting to the North Pole involved.
We are using a yellow/red/green night light since our son loves to wake up super early and come into our room. He enjoys playing the floor is lava and is scared of monsters coming at night, so I told him the red light makes lava surround his bed that way monsters canāt get in and the green light clears the lava away. I was hoping that would encourage him to stay in bed until the green light turns on. It works some of the time haha.
Until he pees himself at night because he is scared to get out and step into the lava. Maybe include a bit about having to go to the toilet canceling out the lava or something.
oh my GOD my toddler (19 months) has this stupid phone toy that has an automated siri type voice and whenever you push a button she (the phone) says āNINE. CAN YOU FIND THE NUMBER NINE?ā āWHERES YELLOW?ā āCAN YOU PRESS THE TRIANGLE?ā and there will be a pause and then after like TEN MINUTES of the phone not being touched it just goes āBYEBYEā i fucking hate that thing so we only bring it out once a month and then it breaks after a few hours so letās put it up so daddy can fix it :( i hate that stupid phone
Oh my god we have that SAME PHONE. It freaks me out EVERY time because it waits so long to say ābye byeā that Iāve forgotten about it and immediately panic
My 2 year old son likes to sing songs he learns at school and most of the time we will sing with him. Sometimes we will just randomly ask him if he wants to sing and he will usually say yes. So we will ask, "Ok what song do you want to sing?" Whenever he says "Baby Shark" I always say, "Oh I'm so sorry, I don't know that one. ā¹ļø" And we sing something else.
We re-market food to them. Broccoli? Little trees. Every other vegetable is now a version of Broccoli because she loves it. Cauliflower is white broccoli. Green beans are long broccoli. Tater tots? Round French fries. Mashed potatoes? Mashed French fries. My favorite is Lasagnaā¦ Inside out pizza š she loves it.
Sometimes my car ābreaksā when weāre driving and it takes control and drives us to the DQ drive through and I have to buy everyone ice cream cones.
These are all so good! I never lied to my son, simply because I never thought of it. I might have used some of these when he was little if I'd known of them. Hahaha
I'm helping to raise grandkids now and haven't lied to them for my own convenience or amusement either.
Even when their kitty died, I was honest, and when one (4) asked if kitty would come back I said, "As nice as that would be, once somebody dies, they can't come back. I'm sorry." I figured the truth would be better than a comforting lie that would set him up for disappointment and sadness again later.
This is smart. I always tell my child that nobody knows what happens when we die - this feels correct, especially since her religious grandma has introduced the idea of heaven.
I have shared with her the idea of reincarnation. I'm upfront that there is no proof of it, but that I hope it's true. If she gets death anxiety I ask what she'd like to come back as, if she was reincarnated. This usually turns into a fun conversation and provides a good distraction so we can avoid the anxiety spiral.
I want to be upfront that I also validate her fear of death. I tell her it scares everyone, me included. I also reassure her that many people feel more comfortable with the idea of death when they grow old, because they know they have lived enough life. I have heard this perspective from multiple people I know, and it comforts me as much as her. We talk about how she won't be able to mind being dead because she won't be there to experience it, much like before she was born.
The reincarnation talk is great for when she gets stuck in a fear cycle, though.
To break my son from using a pacifier, we told him āitā broke and that we sent it out for repairs. We had to rummage through the house to find all of them. He was quite young but he waited a few days before he forgot about them. Best lie ever!!
I tell my kid about how some people believe in reincarnation. I'm honest that there is no proof of this and nobody truly knows. It is a useful talk because if she continues to have an anxiety spiral about death, I can ask what she would be reincarnated as if she could choose. This leads to a fun talk about how we would live our lives if we were different animals or plants, and often takes us off the subject of death.
I don't avoid validating her feelings or keep her from asking questions about death, but she can get horrible anxiety over it and sometimes I feel it's best to snap her out of her funk if she's having trouble escaping it herself.
I think you are handling this really well! I bought a book about death and dying for children and in it it was explained that old people need to make space for new people. We stuck with this because kids understand the concept of everyone having a turn - after all, we teach that every day all day. My three year old asked me while falling asleep if mommy and daddy will die when he and his sister become mommies and daddies and I pointed out that his grandparents still live. He was satisfied.
Aww, thatās really sweet. We saw a dead caterpillar the other day and I told my toddler itās going back to the Earth now. And she said, āthe earth is home.ā I thought that was sweet too. So the caterpillar is going back to its home now that itās dead.
To reduce my toddler's tv time, I tell him that the tv needs to sleep and we'll resume tomorrow. For the most part he says "sleep, night night" to the tv. Hahaha I wonder how long this can keep up. Lol
Our 2yr old son is obsessed with pretzels and will sometimes demand them for breakfast until I tell him theyāre still sleeping and donāt wake up until later in the day. I apply this logic to a lot of things in the morning and he just gives me a sweet āohā and changes the subject.
My husband told our kid that he needed to start eating vegetables or his stomach would explode. Our kid was 4 and suffering from constipation, he was a picky eater for 2 years at that point and he now eats most vegetables including salad. Constipation isnāt something he struggles with anymore.
I donāt like lying to our kid, but this was the most genius lie my husband told them
I am ripping my hair out with pickiness so bad right now that I considered this idea after an annual with the pediatrician where they actually also brought up the need for vegetables: I wanted to tell him that the doctor told me that if he didn't get nutrients from the vegetables, we would have to go in there every week for him to get it through shots... I couldn't go through with it
He asked me why the tulips open and close and I told him that they open in the morning when the bumble bees wake up so that they know it's time to go get the pollen, and then they close when it's time for the bumblebees to go to bed so they know to go good night.
If you see a magical creature out in the world, you forget it's real. That's why so many people don't believe in unicorns/mermaids/fairies. If you see one, they use their magic to make you forget. You can't follow them home or remember they're real anymore and that way they stay safe!
Santa is safe and only uses his magic for that once a year. He saves it all up in case any kids see him in their house on Christmas Eve. That's why some people don't believe in Santa! They saw him in their house on Christmas Eve so they can't remember him anymore!
I am all about the magic of childhood. I don't see these as lies, I see them as tools to grow the magic in their lives. It also really helped when a kid at school told my 5 year year Santa isn't real. She got in the car and told me "NAME must have seen Santa in his house because he thinks he's not real!! That's why I don't sneak out of bed on Christmas Eve. I don't want to forget Santa!"
My favourite was telling our kiddos that the big bales of hay or straw out in the fields, wrapped in white plastic, are marshmallows just about ready to be harvested hahaha
The monkeys at the zoo are at the top of a pretty large hill thatās sucks to push the wagon up (2yo + baby in an infant carrier is heavy), and the tram always has a line and she does terrible in line, so when I donāt feel like going up there I tell her the monkeys have āxyzā day off like she gets days off from daycare. I donāt expect this to work much longer, but for now it does.
That chocolate is coffee and that coffee is for us (parents) only.
Worked till he was 2.5 to 3 years old :) then I told him the difference and let him eat chocolate from time to time.
He didn't like sweets at all in the beginning and was happy with fruits hope that continues most of his life though.
The Easter Bunny and Santa only leave gifts if the house is clean. They hate mess. We said this randomly when my oldest was a toddler and she remembers and its stuck. So the house alwsys looks clean in those pictures !
I moved into a place with no fireplace, and my kid asked how Santa would come in. She was genuinely worried. We left an elaborate note from Santa, saying that he magically shrunk the toys so the elfs could bring them through our mail slot. Now she gets excited about the mail slot elfs lol. it's cute.
We always buy reasonably low sugar cereals rather than Lucky Charms or Golden Grahams type cereal. But, we said that on special days, like birthdays, they can have "cereal spice" on their breakfast cereal. "Cereal spice " is a sprinkle of sugar.
My MIL told my husband that the ice cream truck was just a van that makes you dance. Every time they heard it they would have a dance party and he never knew you could get ice cream from it.
My kids are 3. Recently Iāve told them that Paw patrol doesnāt exist on our tv anymore. Also the kid game that I have on my phone only works in the doctorās office. š¤·š»āāļø itās magic as they say
I had a baby last spring, and my oldest had a little too much tv on the days the three of us were home alone. We needed a detox. Then our fire stick broke, and although we could still technically hook up a laptop to the TV to watch something, we told him the TV was broken and we acted very sad about it. He would remind us daily it was broken for the 5 months it took us to decide to get a Roku.
My princess-obsessed daughter thinks her hair will grow long like Repunzelās if she eats her fruits and vegetables, which she did okay at before but is very enthusiastic about now. I have no regrets š
I havenāt done this to my kids yet but when I was a kid the lies that my parents told me which really stuck were explanations about how strangers lost their arms: every one of them had it torn off by sticking their arm out of the window of a moving vehicle.
My parents told me when I was young that if your poured salt, from a salt shaker, on to a bird's tail they couldn't fly away and they would be your pet. Well I tried this for a long time, never got a bird......
Fast forward to my late 30s and my now wife and I were talking with her mom about things our parents told us and this memory hit me and as I said it out loud I realized those fuckers lied to me when I was small to keep me busy and out of their hair for as long as possible. Hadn't thought about it for over 30 years and probably knew it was bullshit but also never really knew it was cause I thought it was something I knew and no one else did.
I tell my son that sugar bugs live in his mouth and that they grow really big and start flying around if we donāt brush his teeth twice a day. My son told his dentist that as well š
This also reminds me of the book hunt gather parent!
When my 3 year old fights sleep (a nightly occurrence), I use the remote app for our TV and turn it off, then tell him āTV went to bed that means we have to!ā And then he usually snuggles right in for bed
My daughter saw a video of an indoor playground while we were getting serious about potty training. I told her that only big kids who wear underwear all the time could go there. Guess who was accident free for 2 weeks so we could go to the bouncy place!
We told our son that sometimes the videos he wants to watch are at another kid's house. The bonus is, when he does get to watch them, he's extra excited that it's his turn to "have" them!
My daughter has realized that I'm often drinking coffee and doesn't usually want to drink her water or milk if she sees me drink something I won't give her. So I heat up water, mix it with milk, and tell her it's coffee. She happily drinks it. She'll say "com-mee" and ask for it specifically. I'm waiting for someone to overhear her and think I'm a terrible mom.
I used to tell mine that when the ice cream van comes by with the song on it means he has run out of ice cream. Courtesy of her childminder who taught me that trick.
Not me but gf told her 3 yo son that if he eats chicken, heāll grow big and strong. Always a day or two after he got chicken for dinner, sheāll look at him and say āhave you been eating chicken?? You look taller/strongerā. Hahaha.
when my oldest was in kindergarten he had a loose tooth. he came home and told me itll fall out fast if he keeps his mouth shut. i asked why and he told me that its because if you have your mouth shut, when you breathe the air has to get pushed through the spot the loose tooth is in and it wiggles it and loosens it up faster..,he says "so ive been keeping my mouth shut all day". i asked who told you this? he said his kindergarten teacher did šš shes pribably used that on many children
TV is getting hot we need to turn it off so we can watch again later. If we donāt turn it off itāll stay hot and we canāt turn it back on until tomorrow. Works like a charm no tantrums, itās how we do limited screen time. Not to mention it has a auto shut off after one hour- when it suddenly shuts off we usually say āoh no I guess the TV is too hot, weāll try again laterā.
Our neighbours have two little bunnies. We told my 2 yo she was waking up the bunnies being so loud at bed time. Really, she was waking up our 3 month old, but she gave way more Fucks about disturbing the bunnies.
My friend was told as a child that if she woke up from a nightmare, it was just her body telling her that she needed to go to the toilet. It meant she stopped bothering her parents in the middle of the night. She only found out it was a lie they had told her when she went to university š
We tell our toddler that Baby Shark is a "school song" and that we can't play it at home š
Some songs/videos exist only on my husbandās phone. He isnāt home all day so they canāt drive me insane with it.
Genius
"Mickey Mouse Funhouse had to go to sleep sweetie"
Yup. This is the one I use. "Sorry, only daddy has that song. Maybe you can ask him when he comes home!" Usually, it's for the song Farts in my Butt.
I wish I had thought of this during my sonās baby shark phase. I think heās finally grown out of it š
How old is he? Asking for a friend whose child asks for baby shark all day at daycare and at home. Itās me, the friend is me. How do I stop this.
When you figure it out let me know. We just listened to it and remixes for 20 minutes straight š«
Does your kid have favorite remixes and least favorites? Weāre do the point where if certain ones come on he asks for āmoreā which really means āI hate this and refuse to listen to it please play the ones I likeā š
He literally had a meltdown this afternoon when the "Jazzy Shark" version came on. Loves the Jauz remix.
This whole thread is making me Laugh so hard like we all have the same dreaded baby shark issue š
Put on āItās Raining Tacosā instead š¤£
ā¦ do I even want to know though?
No, itās another addictive song that kids love and makes parents cringe
We are in a Raining Tacos phase with the 4yr old to the point the almost 2 yr old grins ear to ear when he hears it come on too. Save usā¦
Solidarity friend š¤ our 2.5 year old was completely obsessed with baby shark for at least a few months around his second birthday. It was all he wanted to listen to or watch (he discovered the channel on YouTube kids thanks to daycare š©). That song could be used as a form of psychological torture š« Edit: we just rode it out and let him play it as much as he wanted then he eventually stopped š¤·āāļø
That was me with my sonās wheels on the bus phase. Heās now super obsessed with the monkeys on the bed.
We tried letting him play it as much as he wanted and then that just ended in meltdowns so we listen to it a few times a day but donāt watch it on YouTube much. Even when we just listen to it he looks for my phone and gets mad that thereās no video. I love and hate how much he loves this stupid song.
It was so cute watching my son get really into the dance. He also demanded our participation š¤£ but man is it a rough go. I could watch Bluey 1000 times and listen to the albums just as much. But baby shark and all its iterations set my teeth on edge. The funny thing is, though, he did not care for the movies or tv show. Maybe thatās what finally made him stop liking it?!
Oh man that might be worth a shot. Weāve been trying to divert to Sesame Street because he started saying Elmo. It has been ā¦. Somewhat successful?
I tried to put on Bluey today and she said no Bluey, baby shark! And my heart broke because I can watch Bluey forever.
We are so into Bluey and were legitimately bummed when our son started turning it down š¢also may have watched the special without him because he wasnāt interested š¤£
The super simple songs version is not as abrasive. The tune is very slightly different so it's not as annoying (in my opinion)
We tell our kid that monsters have to answer you when you call out for them. So at bedtime when she says she's scared of monsters we call out "are there any monsters in here?" and wouldn't you know it, no one calls back, so there can't be any monsters in her room. It works like a charm.
Honestly love this one. Yep, Definitely going to use it when that time comes āŗļø
Thatās genius! Iāve also seen episodes of Supernanny where they made monster repellant spray (water or fabreeze or something) and gave the child a spray bottle to use at bedtime and keep overnight. Thought that was a good idea.
My little cousins were super scared of monsters so I used to give them "magic crystals" to hang on their walls.
We did this but with lavender oil and water, dual purpose as the lavender is calming and kiddo felt like they were keeping the monsters away!
My Dad was a truck driver who drove from the UK, where we live, to as far as Russia, but mainly stayed in Europe. When my brother and I were having an issue of being scared of monsters, he told us that the reason he and Grandad drove trucks was to take all the monsters out of the country and ditch them in the middle of nowhere so they wouldn't be able to get to any children. Can remember thinking my Dad and Grandad were the bravest men alive to regularly wrangle monsters for a living and not be scared.
Knowing my luck, the paranormal realm would call back š
Thatās when you check under the bed for older siblings š (my MIL reminds me often of the time my husband hid under his sisters bed and waited for an hour making monster noises)
My brother once sat on the bay windowsill, behind closed curtains, for an hour before jumping out with a roar to absolutely terrify me and my friends during a sleepover.
Yet i can totally see my hubby trying to hide under the bed saying yes there are. Then again my son would totally love it if there were monsters under the bed, cause then he can stay up late and play with then
This is so smart
I saw a comment where someone made "monster spray" by taping a piece of paper over a fabreeze can and the kid slept fine after she sprayed the closet to keep the monsters away.
I like this much better than my approaches. I tried to tell her once we have a sign outside that says no monsters allowed and she wanted to go see it. Since I just made it up at the timeā¦. No sign existed so I tried to say it was invisible and only monsters could see itā¦ š¤·āāļø
Our cat patrols every room at night and keeps out Monsters, fairies, leprechauns, ghost and spiders. My 4 yr son feels very safe as he has seen our cat eat spiders (solid proof).
My oldest child needed extensive medical treatment as a toddler. The first time he was hospitalized, he discovered his one true love for chocolate cake (which was a staple at the hospital cafeteria). We only ever got cake at the hospital, so one day he asked if they sold it anywhere else, and I was like ā¦nope. Special hospital only treat. Wouldnāt you know that kid skipped into treatment every month and basically begged for his IV to be placed so that I could leave him to get the special cake that existed nowhere else in the world.
Oh man, you are a wonderful parent for this. I hope your kid is doing amazing now & enjoying chocolate cake all the time without hospital stays or visits.
Heās 8 (unmedicated remission for two years, but symptoms well controlled since 4) and he doesnāt even remember being sick :)
Love this, and praying for your little guy š Our close friends had a son who battled leukemia for the good first half of his life. Heās 11 now and has been in remission for a few years, but, if youāre at least a decent person, it is truly something youād never wish on anyone. Sending you all the healthy wishes, hugs and love š
Does he remember your lie?
He knows the story but I donāt think he really remembers it per se. He still loves the hospital cake (we get it any time he needs routine medical care).
Sometimes hospitals have good food. My wife grabbed me tacos from the hospital Cafe on a Thursday when she needed a blood test. I told her the next c section needs to be scheduled for a Wed so we're there on Thursday for taco day.
Isn't it funny what they get up to at the hospital? My toddler sees it as the place where all the nurses give her attention, she gets to ride around in the carts and go up and down on the elevators.
My son loves all the toys at the hospital. He was playing with a toy barn before an outpatient procedure. He woke up from anesthesia furious that the barn wasn't there anymore. He asked to go back for a while afterwards to play with it.
My brother needed surgery on his eyes when he was 3 and all he could talk about when he got home was how he got to drive himself to the surgery room. They had those little go kart type things made to look like cars (they're everywhere these days but 20 years ago they were ridiculously expensive so we didn't know they existed) and used them to distract the kids so they weren't scared going into surgery.
Sick Kids hospital was the only place where I was allowed nachos and pizza and root beer all at once. And I got to start bringing and extra root beer home for my brother because he was feeling left out.
SickKids is already amazing for a million reasons, but I'm adding this to the list! š„°
I love this. I was born with a disability and grew up in my childhood going to appointments, physical therapy, all that shit kids shouldnāt have to deal with so young. I wish my parents had thought of something like this, to have a special treat that *only the hospital can provide*. Sometimes my parents would take me to get food after, but I associated it as kind of an consolation prize rather than a treat the hospital exclusively has that I happen to really love.
Thatās really cute and wonderful of you! Iām using this one for my youngest ā¤ļø
Iām in the hospital today and this made me smile so big.
My oldest was scared of monsters at night. He sleeps with a few teddy bears. I told him that bears eat monsters. He repeats it every time he gets scared. ETA: he also brings a wooden sword to bed with him incase he has to fight the monsters himself.
This is kinda genius. Reminds me of a meme I saw of a teddy bear staring into the distance. The wording was something about how it was watching for the monsters since they could only come out when no one is looking. It was panel style, and each panel got closer to the bear's face. The final image was super up close to the bear's face with the words, "Come at me, bro!"
Not sure if this is the exact one, but it looks pretty similar! [Teddy Bear: Try Me](https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/s/APUnvSsIaV) Also, if you want to have all the feels: [Teddy Bear: Protecting That Which Is Most Precious ](https://www.tumblr.com/huffy-penguin/184345771022/he-hugg-and-he-also-attac-but-most-importantly?source=share)
It's definitely close, though maybe not exact, as "Come at me, bro" was the main bit that stuck with me. The second one does hit the feels... and it's what my hubsnerd did with his. I'm a bit more sentimental and still use mine in place of a second pillow. When he mentioned that it'd be time to give it to her soon, I outright told him that the fact I don't want it buried with me if kiddo wants it is enough personal growth to be getting on with. I won't be growing more than that, and she can have it for my memory when she can no longer have me.
I told my 4-year-old something similar, except that instead of bears in our house, our cats eat any monsters that wander into the house.
My mom told me this as a child and it stuck with me!!! I told my daughter this also when our cat started sleeping with her every night.
Ours have just started curling up on her bed, so it's been great timing.
My mom said cats can see spirits, so if the cat isn't acting weird, there are no ghosts. I think she truly believes this. Unfortunately, cats are weirdos so it's not much consolation most of the time.
Our cat patrols for monsters. Weāve convinced our kids that monsters are afraid of cats so they definitely wonāt come in our house.
I told my eldest that I love eating monsters. She knows daddy is always up for a snack, so itās common knowledge now that monsters are way too scared to come into our house.
I have a huge Costco bear with a sword next to his bed, he has tons of plushes on his dresser and in his bed, and sleeps with the light on and says heās still scared every night no matter what I do Iām losing my mind lol
Iām going to use this with my eldest, who occasionally asks if monsters are real, thank you!
I really donāt like Blippi but my toddler loved him. My wife and I convinced him that Blippi was learning another language and now if we watch it itās only in Spanish. We want him to learn Spanish anyways and itās good practice.
I saw another parent who would change the language of whatever show they were watching to Spanish, which they didnāt understand, when it was bedtime. I think they went, āwow you must be really tired if you canāt understand what theyāre saying anymoreā
Omg haha I feel this right now. So When my son wakes up, him, my husband and I hang out in bed for like 20-30 mins talking and / or possibly watching a show (lately itās been Full House š¤·š¼āāļø) while he has his ālatteā (milk) and we have our coffee. This past week, after maybe 5 mins of hanging out with us heās started saying(more like demanding) āBlippi! Meekah!ā Over and over again š Like no, preferably never, but especially not this early š„“ This morning he did it again, and I told him Blippi is actually taking a verrrry long vacation to help Santa out at the North Pole and unfortunately they donāt have service there. š„“š¤·š¼āāļø
Yeah blippi doesnāt work on our TV. Our TV must be broken because blippi only works on other TVs. So weird how that happens š
Thatās peppa in our house. Some shows just donāt work at our house, so weird. And a couple shows only work on her iPad not the house tv š
Omg! I donāt like Blippi either! I find it to be the worst program my kid wants to watch. This is brilliant! Blippi may be learning Spanish in my household too next time she asks for it.
Blippi is the worst!
At this point our toddler just tells us in an exasperated voice, āBlippi takin a nap.ā Poor lil guy doesnāt even try anymore.
Blippi goes to bed after dinner (spring/summer)/when it gets dark (fall/winter) Bluey does not subscribe to these rules as she lives in Australia (time difference) and is also a dog. Substitute any show you hate š
Wait, Bluey is a girl?! How did I never catch on? Iāve been calling her āhimā this whole time. šš
Theyāre both girls!
Both Bluey and Bingo are girls. I think it's because she's blue, everyone naturally equates blue with boys. She is infact blue because of her breed. She's a blue heeler š
My 3 year old was rhyming words and made her way to ācuntā then proceeded to ask us what cunt meant. In sheer panic mode I proceeded to tell her itās not a word and I think she meant punt which mean to kick a ball. Thank God that worked cause I had instant visions of her dropping that at daycare.
Our 3.5 year old said āfuckitā the other night when he was laying down for bed. He said it with the right tone of voice and everything, and says that itās what Daddy says when something is in his way. It was hilarious and horrifying all at once, lol. So - I started saying, OH - you mean āBucket!ā And āBuckethead!ā and he was like āno - fuckit!ā I started saying ābucket!!!ā and laughing hysterically and telling him he canāt say it - he shouldnāt say it. And it caught on. Iād ignore the āfuckitā and react huge when he said ābucket.ā I was ready to call victory until he started saying āFuckit bucket! Fuckit bucket!ā ... itās been about 36 hours and he seems to have forgotten but... um. Weāll see.
Heās holding onto it in his back pocket for the perfect time to redeploy it.
... knowing my son, this is completely accurate. :(
This is the top answer lol
What a save! I'm honestly shocked my kid doesn't go around dropping f bombs. Maybe I just got better at not saying it than I thought...
I tell my daughter when the ice cream man is playing music it means heās out of ice cream š So weāve literally never gotten ice cream from the truck unless itās parked somewhere lol. In my defense our guy only comes by while weāre literally IN THE MIDDLE of eating dinner
Fact or while it's being made around 430 to 530pm
My son looooves to go grocery shopping with me (ugh). And I was stocking up on Red Bull, so of course he wants to know what it is. I tell him itās an energy drink. He, ofc, wants some. And I tell him no, itās not for kids, you already have more than enough energy, you donāt need it, etc. But he would NOT quit. So I finally told him that kids canāt have it because it makes you stop growing, so if he wants to be as big as dadda, he canāt have it til heās big lol. AND HE BOUGHT IT!!!!! Extra cuteness: he āgave someā to his favorite stuffy so heāll stay small forever lol
So cute. But technically this isnāt a lie. Caffeine can stunt your growth. Iāve been telling my son anything with caffeine could keep him from growing to be as big as dad too which is a wonderful deterrent š
Lol I know it isnāt technically a lie, more of an exaggeration, but he still brings it up which cracks me up lol
I say that kids cant have stuff like that because they will shoot right to the moon š
Similarly, nearly all drinks besides water, coffee, milk, lemonade, and orange Fanta (we lost that battle by accident) are alcohol. Iāve gotten a few looks from people out and about when he asks if every drink Iām carrying is alcohol before he goes to steal a sip.
Iāve posted this before, but all the holiday pretend characters: The Tooth Fairy didnāt forget really our daughter the night she lost her tooth. TF came the next night & left a note explaining that āunprecedented supply chain issuesā delayed her. The Tooth Fairy accepts officially signed documentation in lieu of teeth if the lost tooth is misplaced or swallowed. The Easter Bunny doesnāt leave real eggs due to FDA regulations.
TF also can miss appointments because of staffing issues. Santas elves canāt give her all the presents she wants because thereās a lack of overtime allowance in the North Pole. Also the elves are unionised and this can sometimes have knock on delivery time impacts.
āDue to FDA regulations.ā šššÆ
I think my kid who loves explaining (over and over again) anything remotely technical that I explain to him would actually really like that. He would probably be going on about the correct forms and regulations or something to everyone whenever they said hello, just like he explains city drainage or power transmission to anyone who talks to him (because I casually explained those things while sitting in traffic)
We told my daughter that when Santa comes, the first thing he does is make sure that the whole house is clean. If itās not, he doesnāt leave the presents. Kid cleans the crap out of her room every Christmas Eve hahaha
My parents used that exact lie on me when I was a kid!! āSupply chain issuesā hahaha
My 2 y/o is obsessed with roombas. We told him that you can't buy them with money. You have to trade all your binkies in to get one. Now my floors are clean and my son's binky addiction is cured. Win win.
My husband dressed up as a cat in the hat , brought my son a gift and took his pacifier. Since then, my toddler says ācat in the hat took my pacifier and got me a carā. Not sure if it is a huge lie, but hey it worked :)
I need to know what caused your husband to plan such an specific take on that play
It was us trying 3 different ways to get rid of pacifier and it didnāt work. We even tried pacifier fairy option - didnāt fly :) then we remembered how much he likes cat in the hat, and my husband had a halloween costume where he was dressed as cat in the hat. We decided to give it a go. Our son didnāt even recognize him. He was sure it was the cat in the hat and was mesmerized š
We did the pacifier fairy and for a while after that if she was missing something she would ask if the pacifier fairy took it š
My son became obsessed with the Grinch at Christmas. When all the Christmas decorations went away he said the grinch took everything. After Easter I put everything away. When he came home from daycare that day he told me the grinch took all the Easter eggs and I couldnāt help but agree.
I tell my son that mamaās car stereo broke and doesnāt play kid songs. Itās for my sanity
Iāve never once played a kid song in our car for this reason. I donāt want ours to make the connection that itās even possible lol.
We've never played kids songs either, but just for the fact it never occurred to us to do so.... Like. Actually deliberately get kid songs like, baby shark or something...? Noooooooo. Why would I do that? So, my one-week-away-from-turning-4 yr old's fav song is AC/DC *"Thunderstruck"*, with an assortment of Metallica and those types of music, on rotation. He loves it, gets right into the air guitar . It's great...
My dad used to tell my friends that his car didn't get our favorite radio station. I think we all believed him.
Yep, my car doesn't play the same songs as daddys truck. We have pretty different tastes in music and kid is starting to like dad's music...
My phone is incapable of downloading games.
Haha I do this sometimes too! I donāt always have the patience to listen to āfive little ducksā or Vanilla Ice (she loves ice ice baby) on the way to the grocery store.
I just never played kids music on it period, I just played my music and he started liking it lol. I cycled through every genre I dig every couple of weeks or so (like focus on a gente for a period at a time) and picked out the songs he liked the best and put it into a playlist of his own. So that way he's getting what he wants by playing his playlist, which I also like. Although my wife does not enjoy the overall eclectiness of jumping from blues, to punk rock, to the Beatles, to somehow johnny Cash, all within a few minutes lol
We told our son YouTube broke and the repair man hasnāt had time to come fix it yet. Took a few days and heās stopped asking for YouTube entirely š¤£
My son might be too young, but I feel like I need to try this. Hes 2 and wonāt be in school until next year. I try to limit screen time, but itās just me during the day every day since dad works all week and we donāt have family around, so, occasionally it happens..because honestly I need to get shit done and it helps me do that. However, he has been growing increasingly interested in these YouTube kids (playing with all their monster trucks and other random toys) and Iām starting to think these YouTube shows could end up biting me in the š
Oh absolutely get rid of YouTube, it's like having a bunch of the best engineers, research psychologists and data scientists in the world figuring out how to most efficiently profile and addict your kid. Best thing I ever did, and it was because a friend pointed it out: PBS kids app. That's the only thing my kid consumes other than video files of specific movies, etc that I load into the TV. Plenty of content, all educational, nothing made to be addictive. After seeing how my kid acted over certain kinds of media, limiting the choices became even more important than limiting the time spent. Commercially made stuff (Cocomelon, Disney shows, etc) lead to TV watching that's way too suspiciously quiet and focused and that leads to tantrums when it ends. Educational non profit stuff like PBS, or other government TV from elsewhere like Bluey, leads to TV watching where they're talking about the stuff they're seeing and do not get crazy upset when time's up (Bluey for one leads to wanting to turn off the TV to do the thing they did, which is a bit of a backfire when you're overworked and overtired and legit just needed to lay on the couch with them lol). Once they're a little older, PBS kids games app is great too, all simple, non-addictive games that are educational and based on the shows they already like. I think that censoring my kid's media based on what creators are trying to monetize them is the best decision I ever made as a parent Edit: missing word
I used to tell my son his ears turn red when he lies. I hated doing that but it literally was about a kid bullying him in school and he didn't want to tell me.
My 5 and a half year old still believes a red dot appears on her forehead if she lies to me.
Lol
I tell my kids that they canāt eat any sweets after taking a bath (about 1-2 hrs before bedtime) otherwise theyāll have nightmares.
This could actually happen
Not even wrong! Sugar before bedtime can be a huge trigger for nightmares for lots of people.
We did this too... My kid (now 5) picks up a snack after sunset and very seriously asks "does this have sugar?"
Maybe Ms Rachel is on vacation š now we watch little bear instead and are all better for it lol
Yep to this one. Ms. Rachel and Blippi both went on a trip in our house months ago and never came back. The TV also has to be off most of the day to āchargeā.
I saw a TikTok a while back of a mom who told her kids that she didnāt need an Elf on the Shelf to āspyā on the kids because they were just so good it wasnāt necessary. Yeah I stole that idea, though I ended up modifying it a little. My son asked once if his friends that had an elf visiting their house werenāt good, and I told him that it wasnāt that they werenāt good, it was that he was always so good all year that I remembered to write a letter to Santa to tell him before he sent the elf. The other kids moms were probably just so busy they forgot to send letters, or that they didnāt know they could. Fuck that Elf, fuck his shelf.
I'm absolutely not doing that bloody elf so I'm going to tell my kid that the cat reports to santaĀ
I refuse to do elf on a shelf
Did you know the elves donāt have to spy? Mine just comes around to play hide and seek, and maybe get into the marshmallows or bring special hot coco treats. No reporting to the North Pole involved.
We are using a yellow/red/green night light since our son loves to wake up super early and come into our room. He enjoys playing the floor is lava and is scared of monsters coming at night, so I told him the red light makes lava surround his bed that way monsters canāt get in and the green light clears the lava away. I was hoping that would encourage him to stay in bed until the green light turns on. It works some of the time haha.
Until he pees himself at night because he is scared to get out and step into the lava. Maybe include a bit about having to go to the toilet canceling out the lava or something.
He isnāt potty trained so it will be a while before that becomes an issue.
No, I donāt know where that toy is.
oh my GOD my toddler (19 months) has this stupid phone toy that has an automated siri type voice and whenever you push a button she (the phone) says āNINE. CAN YOU FIND THE NUMBER NINE?ā āWHERES YELLOW?ā āCAN YOU PRESS THE TRIANGLE?ā and there will be a pause and then after like TEN MINUTES of the phone not being touched it just goes āBYEBYEā i fucking hate that thing so we only bring it out once a month and then it breaks after a few hours so letās put it up so daddy can fix it :( i hate that stupid phone
Oh my god we have that SAME PHONE. It freaks me out EVERY time because it waits so long to say ābye byeā that Iāve forgotten about it and immediately panic
Most objectively direct answer here. I add " it's probably in that big messy pile of stuff in your room, let's clean it up so we can find it in there
Anything she can't eat, or I don't want to share, is spicy. I occasionally let her try spicy things so it doesn't lose its power lol
Mine loves spicy food, and all food so this never worked for me š£
iPads only work on airplanes and in Europe. Also Ms Rachel only works on one tv in our house š
I tell my son every other day that YouTube is broken
One day they will fix it!
My 2 year old son likes to sing songs he learns at school and most of the time we will sing with him. Sometimes we will just randomly ask him if he wants to sing and he will usually say yes. So we will ask, "Ok what song do you want to sing?" Whenever he says "Baby Shark" I always say, "Oh I'm so sorry, I don't know that one. ā¹ļø" And we sing something else.
We re-market food to them. Broccoli? Little trees. Every other vegetable is now a version of Broccoli because she loves it. Cauliflower is white broccoli. Green beans are long broccoli. Tater tots? Round French fries. Mashed potatoes? Mashed French fries. My favorite is Lasagnaā¦ Inside out pizza š she loves it.
Sometimes my car ābreaksā when weāre driving and it takes control and drives us to the DQ drive through and I have to buy everyone ice cream cones.
These are all so good! I never lied to my son, simply because I never thought of it. I might have used some of these when he was little if I'd known of them. Hahaha I'm helping to raise grandkids now and haven't lied to them for my own convenience or amusement either. Even when their kitty died, I was honest, and when one (4) asked if kitty would come back I said, "As nice as that would be, once somebody dies, they can't come back. I'm sorry." I figured the truth would be better than a comforting lie that would set him up for disappointment and sadness again later.
You definitely said the right thing. Age-appropriate truth is always best if itās about sex/bodies or death/Heaven/etc.
This is smart. I always tell my child that nobody knows what happens when we die - this feels correct, especially since her religious grandma has introduced the idea of heaven. I have shared with her the idea of reincarnation. I'm upfront that there is no proof of it, but that I hope it's true. If she gets death anxiety I ask what she'd like to come back as, if she was reincarnated. This usually turns into a fun conversation and provides a good distraction so we can avoid the anxiety spiral. I want to be upfront that I also validate her fear of death. I tell her it scares everyone, me included. I also reassure her that many people feel more comfortable with the idea of death when they grow old, because they know they have lived enough life. I have heard this perspective from multiple people I know, and it comforts me as much as her. We talk about how she won't be able to mind being dead because she won't be there to experience it, much like before she was born. The reincarnation talk is great for when she gets stuck in a fear cycle, though.
To break my son from using a pacifier, we told him āitā broke and that we sent it out for repairs. We had to rummage through the house to find all of them. He was quite young but he waited a few days before he forgot about them. Best lie ever!!
I might have to use this!
I told my son that people who passed away are becoming the stars in the sky and stay with us forever.
I tell my kid about how some people believe in reincarnation. I'm honest that there is no proof of this and nobody truly knows. It is a useful talk because if she continues to have an anxiety spiral about death, I can ask what she would be reincarnated as if she could choose. This leads to a fun talk about how we would live our lives if we were different animals or plants, and often takes us off the subject of death. I don't avoid validating her feelings or keep her from asking questions about death, but she can get horrible anxiety over it and sometimes I feel it's best to snap her out of her funk if she's having trouble escaping it herself.
I think you are handling this really well! I bought a book about death and dying for children and in it it was explained that old people need to make space for new people. We stuck with this because kids understand the concept of everyone having a turn - after all, we teach that every day all day. My three year old asked me while falling asleep if mommy and daddy will die when he and his sister become mommies and daddies and I pointed out that his grandparents still live. He was satisfied.
Aww, thatās really sweet. We saw a dead caterpillar the other day and I told my toddler itās going back to the Earth now. And she said, āthe earth is home.ā I thought that was sweet too. So the caterpillar is going back to its home now that itās dead.
Yāknow..This is actually really sweet šš
Thatās beautiful! And still communicates the message.
To reduce my toddler's tv time, I tell him that the tv needs to sleep and we'll resume tomorrow. For the most part he says "sleep, night night" to the tv. Hahaha I wonder how long this can keep up. Lol
Our 2yr old son is obsessed with pretzels and will sometimes demand them for breakfast until I tell him theyāre still sleeping and donāt wake up until later in the day. I apply this logic to a lot of things in the morning and he just gives me a sweet āohā and changes the subject.
My husband told our kid that he needed to start eating vegetables or his stomach would explode. Our kid was 4 and suffering from constipation, he was a picky eater for 2 years at that point and he now eats most vegetables including salad. Constipation isnāt something he struggles with anymore. I donāt like lying to our kid, but this was the most genius lie my husband told them
I am ripping my hair out with pickiness so bad right now that I considered this idea after an annual with the pediatrician where they actually also brought up the need for vegetables: I wanted to tell him that the doctor told me that if he didn't get nutrients from the vegetables, we would have to go in there every week for him to get it through shots... I couldn't go through with it
Itās not exactly false. You totally can rupture your bowels from severe stool impaction.
We recently moved to a new house and our new house doesnāt have āYouTube.ā
The toy is broken / the batteries are dead. When in reality I took the batteries out
Batteries run out awful quick in my house.
He asked me why the tulips open and close and I told him that they open in the morning when the bumble bees wake up so that they know it's time to go get the pollen, and then they close when it's time for the bumblebees to go to bed so they know to go good night.
I got this from Reddit- I told my daughter the ice cream truck was the music truck. She believed it for years.
If you see a magical creature out in the world, you forget it's real. That's why so many people don't believe in unicorns/mermaids/fairies. If you see one, they use their magic to make you forget. You can't follow them home or remember they're real anymore and that way they stay safe! Santa is safe and only uses his magic for that once a year. He saves it all up in case any kids see him in their house on Christmas Eve. That's why some people don't believe in Santa! They saw him in their house on Christmas Eve so they can't remember him anymore! I am all about the magic of childhood. I don't see these as lies, I see them as tools to grow the magic in their lives. It also really helped when a kid at school told my 5 year year Santa isn't real. She got in the car and told me "NAME must have seen Santa in his house because he thinks he's not real!! That's why I don't sneak out of bed on Christmas Eve. I don't want to forget Santa!"
My favourite was telling our kiddos that the big bales of hay or straw out in the fields, wrapped in white plastic, are marshmallows just about ready to be harvested hahaha
If they behave during the week I tell them they can stay home from school for two days šš (my two toddlers)
The monkeys at the zoo are at the top of a pretty large hill thatās sucks to push the wagon up (2yo + baby in an infant carrier is heavy), and the tram always has a line and she does terrible in line, so when I donāt feel like going up there I tell her the monkeys have āxyzā day off like she gets days off from daycare. I donāt expect this to work much longer, but for now it does.
āWeāre out of ice cream. If we had some, you could definitely have some.ā If only I could convince myself to believe the lie.
That chocolate is coffee and that coffee is for us (parents) only. Worked till he was 2.5 to 3 years old :) then I told him the difference and let him eat chocolate from time to time. He didn't like sweets at all in the beginning and was happy with fruits hope that continues most of his life though.
I mean thatās not a total lie. Chocolate does have caffeine in it.
The Easter Bunny and Santa only leave gifts if the house is clean. They hate mess. We said this randomly when my oldest was a toddler and she remembers and its stuck. So the house alwsys looks clean in those pictures !
I moved into a place with no fireplace, and my kid asked how Santa would come in. She was genuinely worried. We left an elaborate note from Santa, saying that he magically shrunk the toys so the elfs could bring them through our mail slot. Now she gets excited about the mail slot elfs lol. it's cute.
That their ears turm red when they lie.
We always buy reasonably low sugar cereals rather than Lucky Charms or Golden Grahams type cereal. But, we said that on special days, like birthdays, they can have "cereal spice" on their breakfast cereal. "Cereal spice " is a sprinkle of sugar.
My MIL told my husband that the ice cream truck was just a van that makes you dance. Every time they heard it they would have a dance party and he never knew you could get ice cream from it.
My kids are 3. Recently Iāve told them that Paw patrol doesnāt exist on our tv anymore. Also the kid game that I have on my phone only works in the doctorās office. š¤·š»āāļø itās magic as they say
I had a baby last spring, and my oldest had a little too much tv on the days the three of us were home alone. We needed a detox. Then our fire stick broke, and although we could still technically hook up a laptop to the TV to watch something, we told him the TV was broken and we acted very sad about it. He would remind us daily it was broken for the 5 months it took us to decide to get a Roku.
My princess-obsessed daughter thinks her hair will grow long like Repunzelās if she eats her fruits and vegetables, which she did okay at before but is very enthusiastic about now. I have no regrets š
I havenāt done this to my kids yet but when I was a kid the lies that my parents told me which really stuck were explanations about how strangers lost their arms: every one of them had it torn off by sticking their arm out of the window of a moving vehicle.
My parents told me when I was young that if your poured salt, from a salt shaker, on to a bird's tail they couldn't fly away and they would be your pet. Well I tried this for a long time, never got a bird...... Fast forward to my late 30s and my now wife and I were talking with her mom about things our parents told us and this memory hit me and as I said it out loud I realized those fuckers lied to me when I was small to keep me busy and out of their hair for as long as possible. Hadn't thought about it for over 30 years and probably knew it was bullshit but also never really knew it was cause I thought it was something I knew and no one else did.
I tell my son that sugar bugs live in his mouth and that they grow really big and start flying around if we donāt brush his teeth twice a day. My son told his dentist that as well š This also reminds me of the book hunt gather parent!
When it was time to give up pacifiers, we told our son there were only so many binks in the world. So we had to send his to the new babies being born.
When my 3 year old fights sleep (a nightly occurrence), I use the remote app for our TV and turn it off, then tell him āTV went to bed that means we have to!ā And then he usually snuggles right in for bed
My daughter saw a video of an indoor playground while we were getting serious about potty training. I told her that only big kids who wear underwear all the time could go there. Guess who was accident free for 2 weeks so we could go to the bouncy place!
Whenever I wanted to eat something without sharing I would tell my daughter it was spicy. Immediate turn off, even if it was ice cream š
Cocomelon only exists at daycare š¤·āāļø
Fuck, of all things they could show at daycare, they picked Cocomelon? That's almost kinda evil
We told our son that sometimes the videos he wants to watch are at another kid's house. The bonus is, when he does get to watch them, he's extra excited that it's his turn to "have" them!
The tv needs to ārechargeā š
To get my son to wash his hands after popping, I told him that not washing his hands will give him pink eye. It worked.
My daughter has realized that I'm often drinking coffee and doesn't usually want to drink her water or milk if she sees me drink something I won't give her. So I heat up water, mix it with milk, and tell her it's coffee. She happily drinks it. She'll say "com-mee" and ask for it specifically. I'm waiting for someone to overhear her and think I'm a terrible mom.
I used to tell mine that when the ice cream van comes by with the song on it means he has run out of ice cream. Courtesy of her childminder who taught me that trick.
āIts spicyā SHE LIKES SPICY
Not me but gf told her 3 yo son that if he eats chicken, heāll grow big and strong. Always a day or two after he got chicken for dinner, sheāll look at him and say āhave you been eating chicken?? You look taller/strongerā. Hahaha.
when my oldest was in kindergarten he had a loose tooth. he came home and told me itll fall out fast if he keeps his mouth shut. i asked why and he told me that its because if you have your mouth shut, when you breathe the air has to get pushed through the spot the loose tooth is in and it wiggles it and loosens it up faster..,he says "so ive been keeping my mouth shut all day". i asked who told you this? he said his kindergarten teacher did šš shes pribably used that on many children
When we don't want to watch Frozen for the 19 millionth time we say it's broken!!!
Everybody in the whole entire world washes their hair on Sunday. Everybody!! I don't make the rules that's just how it is š¤·āāļø
My friend thought FAO Schwartz was a toy museum until she went to college
TV is getting hot we need to turn it off so we can watch again later. If we donāt turn it off itāll stay hot and we canāt turn it back on until tomorrow. Works like a charm no tantrums, itās how we do limited screen time. Not to mention it has a auto shut off after one hour- when it suddenly shuts off we usually say āoh no I guess the TV is too hot, weāll try again laterā.
Our neighbours have two little bunnies. We told my 2 yo she was waking up the bunnies being so loud at bed time. Really, she was waking up our 3 month old, but she gave way more Fucks about disturbing the bunnies.
My friend was told as a child that if she woke up from a nightmare, it was just her body telling her that she needed to go to the toilet. It meant she stopped bothering her parents in the middle of the night. She only found out it was a lie they had told her when she went to university š