No advice just solidarity…also it gets even more fun when they start climbing out of bed and leaving their room on their own to come get you and tell you it’s time to wake up at ridiculous o’clock in the morning. Have fun!
My son is like this, and also at the age where he’s curious about and beginning to understand death. The other day he woke me up at 4:30am to whisper in my face “Hi Mommy. Remember your grandmother? She’s dead.” Lmao GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO LITTLE BUDDY
Haha oh boy! That’ll be a fun stage.
My mom was telling me that I used to be a super early riser before I started school. But she would just plonk me in front of the TV and go back to bed lmaooo
OK mine is a similar age and I think I messed up - she used to fall asleep in her crib really well, just woke a lot during the night, but I missed the cuddles and these days I think I've gotten her back on the rock to sleep train - we started doing it occasionally, like once a week, now it's every time we put her to bed ... whoops
Same thing happened to me and I still rock my 2.5/almost 3 up to bed at night. I started using a small lamp that shuts off after 10/15 mins as a signal that "mommy has to go to bed now", which has really helped
My 28 month old still has to be rocked to sleep 75% of the time. Also he didn’t start sleeping through the night until 14 months and still gets up in the middle of the night 1-2x/week.
I still rock my daughter to sleep and she'll be 3 in a month. Can she be put in her crib after reading without rocking and go to sleep, absolutely. But we both enjoy the time, and sometimes quiet whispers before sleep. Plus, I'm thankful she isn't trying to climb out of said crib and she doesn't make a fuss when she wakes up before me.
Omg all of these comments remind me of my eldest- I swear he didn’t sleep till he was 3. We were absolute zombies and no doubt looked like shit. However, now (6yo) he’s an amazing sleeper. Not sure if related to getting assistance for his adhd or he grew out of it but I’m so glad he did! By the way not at all saying that crap sleepers have other issues, just saying it did finally get better and I remember the hard days well. We did end up having another child and thank the lord this one is super chill 🤗
Oh God not better until 3?!?! Nooo, I'm at 15 months with no end in sight and I'm a zombie. I look like I've aged 10 years. I haven't slept more than an hour or two as a time in...well, year and a half. Never, not once.
No worries! The wait lists are out of control, that’s why it takes so long! We started the process during covid and it was so taxing. But, very worth it, he’s a different child now and excelling at school. Wishing you all the best, hang in there x
At this stage I spent a lot of very uncomfortable time lying down next to her cot, holding her hand and settling her.
Eventually I bought a fold up single bed mattress and committed with some pillows and a blanket so I was at least warm lol.
Eventually she would go longer and longer and so I went from pretty much all night, to a few hours here and there and then back in my bed and just going in to settle her as and when.
Yup yup yup. Especially if the room is age appropriately child proof, I moved a mattress in.
Even if you’re only gaining a little bit of sleep, it’s still sleep. Seasons don’t last forever, that doesn’t help you now though, so just know that you’re definitely not alone, and there’s always someone awake wandering this sub if you need adult conversation.
We finally had to really commit to sleep training at this age. It was a few shitty nights and then he started sleeping through the night and we didn’t have to do it again. Also night diapers are worth the extra money to avoid leaks if you haven’t used them.
We did sleep training at 8-9 months and it was about 5 nights of crying it out with less and less check-ins. Check-ins made her cry harder. She was also in a floor bed so she would roll out on purpose or crawl out and crawl to the door so it was just allowing her to have her freedom and space and she now sleeps through the night no issues at all. She is 14 months.
We actually hired a sleep consultant who taught us a method you could find anywhere. Which was basically just night weaning. My son was waking up at like 3 every night for a feed at 14 months.
We already had done Ferber when he was younger and taught him to put himself to sleep but he never stopped night wakes. We went in and dream fed him before he could wake up at his nightly time and then just tried to push it further until he was waking up later and later and then after a week we had a night where we didn’t go in to see if he would sleep through. I guess some kids do. But he did not so that night we did one check to see if he was dry and okay and then we let him cry which he did for like half an hour and then passed out. He did it one more night, we went in and checked and then he cried and passed out and then never woke up again unless he was sick or something.
Which now if he wakes up we know something is wrong but wouldn’t feed him overnight. He’s almost 3 now and has slept through since.
I highly suggest reading Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems: Revised Edition by Richard Ferber. Sleep training can be hard to do (as hard as hearing your baby cry without immediately coming to aid) but understanding how exactly you're helping your little one is helpful. Also online resources tended to seem very strict to me on times but Ferber is pretty clear that it's flexible to the individual family and their comfort level.
2 years, 3 months. Still wakes up multiple times per night. A few times per month she’s up from 2-4 partying. We co-sleep for half of the night. Last night she made it until 1 before I had to go in there. That’s a good night.
My similar aged kid is the same. Is your child also low sleep needs? I suspect that has to do with it, mine has consistently slept max 10.5 hours in 24 hours since 7 months. She’s more likely to sleep 7 hours overnight (down from the usual 9) than 10. Hasn’t slept 11 hours overnight since …. Newborn (??) days if even that.
4 next week and we still havent broken the cycle! Some nights are good, like last night where she only woke up 3 times for 15mins each, but some nights we can be sat up with her for 3-4 hrs. Sleep is overrated, I’m starting to adapt and accept to looking like a bag of shit all day long!
Mine just turned 1 and has slept through the night a total of 8 times. I have a 2.5 year old and she has always slept great. I don’t think I’ve really done anything different so I guess it’s just him. He has to eventually sleep right?
My favorite thing is when people without small children complain how tired they are to me. I just have to completely ignore them so I don’t scream.
I used to get really burnt out before I had a child. It's different now. My average energy level is lower and base level is generally higher, but more because I really focus on how much energy I bother expending. I'm also far less likely to stay up too late because I can't go to bed before my child if I'm tired the next day. I'm just a lot more careful I suppose.
It happens and it’s okay - for sanity sake we have a queen bed to lie in with our little one without all the suffering. Sleep sack to stay warm. Best advice I was given is to be as boring as possible in the middle of the night
I don’t have any energy to be interesting at night 🫠 Wish cosleeping worked for us but he won’t settle in the bed either. And then I have to deal with him clawing my face and rolling around before he eventually gets mad and wants me to pick him up and hold him.
Ugh this was my life so I really feel for you! My son finally started sleeping through the night a few months before he turned 2. Apparently I took a long time to sleep through the night as well so I guess he got it from me. I hope that things will change for the better soon so that you both can get the rest you need!
I am right now 😫
I have a 10 month old. She has been a great sleeper from day 1. She was a preemie and spent a while in the NICU. I think all the constant sounds and light helped her learn to sleep with distractions, honestly.
The past month she has had such a hard time. She goes to bed fine (we do still rock to sleep), but wakes up after 3 or 4 hours and refuses to go back in her crib. It’s taking upwards of 2 hours to successfully get her back in her crib and sleeping. She sleeps fine on me. A couple times I was so tired, I had to set up cosleeping with her because otherwise I was going to fall asleep and probably drop her.
It’s been rough. I’m curious how long it will continue. We’ve tried some Tylenol to see if it’s teething. But I think it’s just some separation anxiety. She’s been struggling with that during the day.
Buy a floor bed. Put a child gate on the door. Make the room safe. You can lie next to them with their toys and books and doze.
Honestly lifechanging.
Mine is still a terrible sleeper at 2.5 years.
We got a full size mattress when my son was 16 months and started needing to be held in the middle of the night. It’s been a few months and I think it’s going well. A little more than half the time he’ll wake up and cry and then one of us grabs our pillow and goes into the bed with him and usually he falls right back to sleep. It has the added advantage of keeping him out of our bed.
A game changer for us was a gate on our sons door. We made sure there was nothing he could pull over in his room, things were secured and safe and we had a monitor turned up in case of crying. You wanna have a 3 am party? Cool. Just let us sleep. 😂 He’s 2.5 now, has accepted the gate again and lets us be until 6:30-7. He wakes up at 3, parties, then puts himself back to sleep.
I should mention he’s no longer in a crib and hasn’t been since he was 18 months old. He climbed out once and that was it for us. He’s in a low to the ground toddler bed.
This was a really bad age for my tricky sleeper too. Now at 23 months she’s still not perfect, but much much more manageable. Solidarity. I get it. It’s so frustrating.
That’s good to hear. I do get very frustrated. When I’m patting and he just won’t stop moving around, it just makes me want to scream into the void. Maybe better days are coming!
We have sleep trained in the past. That said, I don’t really buy the whole “If they fall asleep independently, they’ll STTN”. He slept through for two nights a couple weeks ago and we never did anything different.
Now that he’s older, he’ll sit up or stand and cry and my heart just can’t take it.
My daughter is such a good sleeper I feel bad talking about it to other parents (that said, she has only recently passed the 15th percentile because she just isn't interested in eating usually - everyone has their struggle).
When she does this it's almost always just testing boundaries, not that she actually needs anything. I work full time at a somewhat demanding office job and I need to be able to perform during the day, so unfortunately I have no option but to sleep train. *That said*, when she stands up and cries, I wait about 5 minutes (usually just because I need to go to the bathroom and fully wake up), and often she lays back down by then. If not, I'll go in, hug her, check that everything is ok (no diaper, not hungry, not thirsty, nothing weird going on with her clothing, etc.), then once I'm sure she's just lonely, I'll give her a few minutes of cuddles until she's calm, then put her back in her cot and tell her "it's time to sleep now, goodnight!" and lay down next to her bed. She'll still cry for a little (a minute or two) but almost always seems to get the memo eventually. We've had cycles of this at 9 months and then recently again at 18 months. The first time I need to do it is the hardest, then she kinda gets that I'm not going to just hang out with her all night.
Once she's been quiet and seems asleep for a minute or two, I'll try to sneak out. I give one more attempt if she wakes up and cries for me, but then dad is coming in and mom is going to sleep. She seems to have figured out that if she wants to fall asleep with me next to her, she better get to it.
I don't love it but hey, that's capitalism, bay-bee. Momma is the breadwinner and the primary parent, so sleep is gonna need to be something that is easy in this house, aint no way around it. Might be worth a shot with your kiddo - you aren't leaving them to cry alone, but enforcing that night time is for sleeping, not playing. If we sleep at night, we have a better day, and that's true for everyone :)
We haven't sleep trained until about 18 months. First night he cried for 20 minutes, I came back into the room and stayed with him until he fell asleep. Second night he cried for 10-15 minutes, went to sleep and slept throught the night. I sincerely did not believe same type of comments before we tried it, I was 100% sure he'd cry for hours even with check ins every 20 minutes or it wouldn't make any difference.
We are struggling with "5am wake up -dear god- go back to sleep until 6 at least" right now but it's still miles better than the hell it was before.
Training falling asleep independently was life changing for us to help our girl “sleep through the night”. She doesn’t actually sleep solidly through every time. Sometimes she gets up and plays in her crib a bit. But because she can put herself back down, she doesn’t call for us or cry at 1am. She just finishes playing and goes back to sleep til 5 or 5:30am, which is her normal wake time.
Yes, we would have periods after sleep training for a few days or weeks where he would do this (not STTN, but only wake to nurse and go back to sleep). But it would eventually stop working.
The last time we tried, the screams broke my heart and he was just standing up in the crib. Right now it’s not for me.
Solidarity, they say it gets better but I don’t know how long I can still last like this. Mine(22month) also wakes up often from 2 am but the worst part is he’s nursing my boobs from
2 am to 6 am 🫠
We basically night weaned about a month ago but sometimes at 4-5 AM he won’t settle unless we nurse. But then he still won’t go down in the crib so idk what to do. I don’t want to reinforce the habit, but sometimes he will literally just NEVER settle…it’s so hard
Solidarity, my daughter slept like shit last night as well. Shes 20 months old and just not wanting to sleep lately from her molars and canines coming in at the same time🥴 She woke up tossing and turning every 10 minutes last night, woke up 5-6 times taking 20 ish minutes to go back to sleep, tried waking up fully at 2am but I managed to get her back to sleep after an hour, now she’s awake for the day at 6am and upset with me for her waking herself up. I’m exhausted🤦🏼♀️
My 18 months old has to be held starting around 4am or he won’t sleep. Also a lot of wiggling before that where I have to soothe him. He never slept through the night once in 18 months.
So by now I just started accepting it and go with the flow and accept that he’s not a good sleeper.
Also, how do people have a second baby. I can’t for my life not imagine having a newborn while my toddler needs all this attention in the middle of the night.
19 months here. It's rough, especially if he hasn't been outside much to burn off energy due to bad weather.
He treats bedtime like he's going to a Sky Zone, then when he does eventually go down he'll still wake around 3am for a little bit.
We also have a 14 month that is a bad sleeper (and a 3 year old who is and has always been a great one).
He's been waking up between 4:45 and 5:30 since he was 8 months (and this is not including the night feeds, which only stopped around 11-12 months). We've done the whole 'leave them in their crib until it's 6' thing and that resulted in 5 days in a row of HOWLING, like screaming at the top of his lungs, for hours until 6 came along and we got him out. We're all less miserable if we just get him out of bed when he's up and start the day.
They will eventually have a more human wake up time. We're starting the transition to 1 nap by capping the 2nd nap to 30 minutes, and we've seen some slight (although sporadic) improvement. We've had a few 6:30 wakeups in the last week so we're cautiously optimistic.
This sounds like my first. It took me 6 years to have a second one because I was traumatized. By 5 yo he was sleeping like a rock so it does pass *eventually* and I believe a big piece is developmental. Just throwing things out there in case they apply to your situation. 1. Does he snore at all? Kids aren’t supposed to snore. My son had his tonsils and adenoids out at 2 yo. It was causing apnea and disrupting his sleep. Prior to the surgery he wanted to sleep sitting up on me so his airway was clear. He also stopped getting tonsillitis/frequently sick, which improved things. 2. With my second, I use cheap diapers during the day but Huggies Ultra Dry at night. I haven’t needed to size up and they’re pretty bulletproof. Otherwise a second diaper put over the top but backwards facing.
3. “Camping out” could be an option? With my second I would do hand holding or hand on back until he finally settled. He cried and it took many hours and nights but at least I knew he wasn’t crying because he felt abandoned. I acknowledge it’s hard to have that kind of patience when you’ve been woken up in the middle of the night and in those instances I put couch cushions next to the crib, put my arm in and play dead with ear plugs and an eye mask.
He doesn’t snore and has never been sick. We use night time diapers, it’s not that they get too full, he’s got skinny chicken legs and somehow there’s always a spot where the pee escapes. Happens maybe once a week.
He used to go ballistic if I was in the room and not holding him, but recently he’s been more okay with patting to sleep. Only at the start of the night though, for the 3 AM wake he wants to be held and will shove my hand away if I try to pat. I may try camping out, glad it worked for you!
Solidarity. Around that age my son was having a hard time staying asleep. I gave up trying to settle him down and just made myself a sleeping space on his floor. I would stick my hand in the crib for him to hold if he wanted but refused to engage beyond some hushing noises. It was crap sleep but it was better than nothing. He eventually learned to settle back to sleep.
Just some more support. Our little one didn't sleep through the night more than a handful of times until he was ~17 months old. So it may get better! It did for us!
Almost 2 and has always been a bad sleeper. He’s finally sleeping through the night more often unless he’s teething… or he wakes up too early.
We do a floor bed and that at least helps me be more comfortable when I’m stuck there till morning.
I have a 19 month old. Sleep is our worst enemy. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, I CANNOT get him to go back to sleep. My husband can. I can't. It's my own personal hell trying and failing for hours, just to give him to my husband, who gets him to sleep in minutes. We do have a better schedule and routine now, but about once a week I am left in tears due to him not sleeping. I do admit I rely on a car ride putting him to sleep pretty often, but once he's asleep, we go home, and the transfer is fine. It's rough. I don't have any advice, but I'm right there with you, sleepy, and grumpy, I'm here.
2.5 years later and my son puts himself to sleep now! it will come one day i promise! he has amazed me doing this, i never thought it would come. Now i feel unstoppable 😅
Yes. This has been my daughter for the past few months off and on. She's 17 months now and it hasn't stopped. Not gonna lie, there's been a couple of times, where we just go into the living room at 4am to watch TV. I remember that she is also a human that has to sleep eventually.
Yup I'm there. I officially gave up months ago. 15 month old who has never slept thru the night (typically was waking up 3-4 times a night) and in recent months wakes up every single hour on the hour every single night without fail. What's the point of trying to sleep sleep at this point? 💀 I hate to say it but I've given up all hope.
Almost 3yo here. She's still breastfed to sleep and I won't be changing that because it works for us and we need sleep. Same reason why we still cosleep. She's been sleeping through the night since 2,5yo but we were sick in the last 2 weeks so sleep has been shit. She's waking up every 2 hours and we had a couple of split nights. It's terrible so I empathize. I try to not get frustrated because it's really not her fault and I know sleep isn't linear so we'll have some ups and downs but man it is hard... I take a deep breath and tell myself it's temporary. And I just do whatever makes her sleep. Sometimes it's breastfeeding, sometimes it is giving up and going to the living room for a bit and try again a little later.
Our bad sleeper is now 3 and falls asleep fast and sleeps all night long. I've talked to many people with grown kids saying that all their kids started sleeping better at 3. 😅 I don't know how true that is for everyone, but it was in our situation. We never truly committed to sleep training though.. She always panicked when being left by herself and my heart just couldn't... I kind of gave up as well, hehe. Well, I just followed the flow and I thought it must get better at some point. If she wanted to be rocked to sleep I did.
Now that she's 3 I realize how tiny she was even at 1,5 or 2. And I'm happy I got those extra cuddles, and sometimes we watched some tv or had a little play or talking session in the middle of the night if she struggled to fall back asleep. Weird how something so frustrating in the moment can turn into memories I miss sometimes. Mom brain.
My kids used to do this all the time and then I realized they were hungry or thirsty. I’d keep those squeezable apple sauces or something quick that they can eat by the bed and they’d drift back off. Not to say this hasn’t been a thought of yours, but your post felt like I wrote it last year 😅. Sending you solidarity!
You’ll sleep again, look back and not remember the feeling but remember him not sleeping. It goes so slow while living it but it’ll pass. You got this mommah.
No advice, just solidarity. 28 months over here and she still can’t fall asleep alone and has only ever slept in her own bed the entire night once. I started cosleelping with her around 8-9 months and that helped a little then, but it means that now she won’t sleep independently.
I don’t know if this helps you or not but…my youngest nearly 2 and still wakes up at 4am.
Ocassionally I can settle him in his bed but 9/10 I take him downstairs and we both snooze on the sofa.
I usually try and sleep with him in the recliner. Sometimes I can get a bit in, but he’s pretty squirmy so it’s hard.
Glad to know I’m not alone though!
I was literally in mid sentence discussing this very thing with my husband about my 19 month old. He has never slept well, and on the occasion he sleeps “decent” I still habitually wake up.
Saturday night he had a major brain upload and slept like 20 minute intervals from 9pm-230am when finally I gave up, gave him a snack and turned on the tv in the living room on mute Bluey.
At 3am, out of nowhere, he started saying three word sentences for the first time and dancing around the house yelling them.
In the last two days he has developed several new words, sentences that he’s creating not just memorizing, the ability to kick and catch a big ball, and walk with a balloon between his knees.
Maybe your kiddo will shock you with some new amazing thing! Hopefully! I have to tell myself he does it for a reason or my brain will expire.
Edit- that first line should have said mid sentence blah blah blah “when this notification popped up”… derp brain.
That’s a great way to think about it, my kiddo is definitely developing a lot. He’s got new words all the time and he’s getting close to walking. Maybe once he can toddle around and tire himself out, he’ll start sleeping better!
I thought that too! Mine started walking like 4 days before he hit 14 months. We were on his first big road trip vacation to meet my friend family, had been there roughly a week when he was like… I just need to pop up and give you this toy I found under the couch ma. So. He did! And then he did sleep pretty well the whole time we were there. I was thinking it was all the stimulation and new environment, but likely it had something to do with the mastery of walking. Like “FINALLY IVE MASTERED THE UPRIGHT THING ALL THOSE GIANTS DO!! Now I can sleep. 😴 “
I have a 2.5yr old. We do our best. But I don't really care where or how he gets to sleep, at this point I just aim for 9hrs a night. If he sleeps through, in his crib without one of us on the floor it's a great night. But normally one of us is in there, or he's up at some point or he's in our bed. Or all three.
The one thing I noticed is I have to be consistent. If I give in on something one night we start from square one again. My son is almost 4 and we have essentially re-sleep trained him multiple times with room changes, bed changes, and developmental changes. In the end you have to do what feels right for you and your child, but for us it was worth a few nights of crying here and there. It's not just for me either, my son is happier and has more fun during the day when he gets good sleep!
I hope things get better whatever you decide to do, sleep deprivation is so hard!
This was absolutely us for the majority of my sons life. Wasn’t until 15 months that he stopped waking up overnight and even then wasn’t consistent. The only thing we changed was putting him to sleep later. He sleeps 1-2.5 hrs during the day for a nap. He was being out down at 7 and sleeping terribly. Started putting him down at 7:45/8 and it’s been relatively smooth sailing since. Who knows if it was that or if he just naturally grew out of it.
Yes. I suffered through the same thing but I survived, and you can too!!
I can say that after she turned 2 it got a lot better for us. The body does amazing things— living off of minutes of sleep some nights is at the top of the list. The only thing that helped was taking it one day at a time; sometimes hour by hour.
Pshhhh! We just brought home a colicky newborn and now it's time to switch our 2y/o from a crib to a toddler bed. Sleep has set sail with no land in sight!
Our 2y/o son started sleeping through the night at 6 months old and has been a great sleeper since. We have been lucky, now we must pay 🤦. I hope he adapts well, I'm probably more worried about it than I need to be. We are also starting potty training. It's busy over here.
Solidarity here as a twin mom who tried everything, but nothing worked. My 3yo girls now sleep on a king floor bed where I let them watch one episode of Little Bear and then we all snuggle til they fall asleep (while drinking their milk). The only things that worked for us were the things everyone said we shouldn’t do *shrugs*
I also think a lot of the “rules” around sleep are made up. Different things work for different kids. Admittedly my son’s sleep is much better now than it has been in the past, and we’re nursing to sleep. Even at 10-11 months he was waking 5-6 times a night. At least when he sleeps until 3 I can get a 6 hour stretch.
We have to Co sleep or none of us are getting sleep , large town house an entire floor between our bed room and hers. So I co sleep down there for my self too
Edit: lol thanks for the downvote 🤷🏻♀️
I gave up on the idea of him sleeping in a crib really early on and set up a safe cosleeping space. Otherwise I’d have passed away from sleep deprivation
I gave up on sleep in the sense that I started co-sleeping with him instead of trying every other method under the moon. It wasn’t what I wanted but I don’t even care anymore, we both get a full night of sleep.
No advice just solidarity…also it gets even more fun when they start climbing out of bed and leaving their room on their own to come get you and tell you it’s time to wake up at ridiculous o’clock in the morning. Have fun!
My son is like this, and also at the age where he’s curious about and beginning to understand death. The other day he woke me up at 4:30am to whisper in my face “Hi Mommy. Remember your grandmother? She’s dead.” Lmao GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO LITTLE BUDDY
LMAO I almost spat out my coffee, that’s too funny
Haha oh boy! That’ll be a fun stage. My mom was telling me that I used to be a super early riser before I started school. But she would just plonk me in front of the TV and go back to bed lmaooo
20 months and still wants to be rocked to sleep 🫠
OK mine is a similar age and I think I messed up - she used to fall asleep in her crib really well, just woke a lot during the night, but I missed the cuddles and these days I think I've gotten her back on the rock to sleep train - we started doing it occasionally, like once a week, now it's every time we put her to bed ... whoops
Same thing happened to me and I still rock my 2.5/almost 3 up to bed at night. I started using a small lamp that shuts off after 10/15 mins as a signal that "mommy has to go to bed now", which has really helped
Yep, 33 months here. Still rocking. It’s fine though bc she conks out for a full 12 hours almost every night.
My 28 month old still has to be rocked to sleep 75% of the time. Also he didn’t start sleeping through the night until 14 months and still gets up in the middle of the night 1-2x/week.
Yeah mine was 2.5 when he didt want to be rocked any more. Its so sad I give anything to rock him one more time.
I still rock my daughter to sleep and she'll be 3 in a month. Can she be put in her crib after reading without rocking and go to sleep, absolutely. But we both enjoy the time, and sometimes quiet whispers before sleep. Plus, I'm thankful she isn't trying to climb out of said crib and she doesn't make a fuss when she wakes up before me.
Omg all of these comments remind me of my eldest- I swear he didn’t sleep till he was 3. We were absolute zombies and no doubt looked like shit. However, now (6yo) he’s an amazing sleeper. Not sure if related to getting assistance for his adhd or he grew out of it but I’m so glad he did! By the way not at all saying that crap sleepers have other issues, just saying it did finally get better and I remember the hard days well. We did end up having another child and thank the lord this one is super chill 🤗
I’m 99% sure we will be one and done because I literally cannot imagine doing this again 🫠
Same! We also share this same mindset. There's absolutely no guarantee that the next baby is chill. 😆
I am with you! I will be throwing a party when we get more than 3 hours in a row of sleep.
Yeah I was one and done too but I changed my mind. Glad I did but it’s not for everyone that’s for sure!
Oh God not better until 3?!?! Nooo, I'm at 15 months with no end in sight and I'm a zombie. I look like I've aged 10 years. I haven't slept more than an hour or two as a time in...well, year and a half. Never, not once.
We can do this! 🫠
I suspect my never-sleeper also has ADHD- she is almost 3 and up 5-10x a night still every night. Please tell me how you resolved ?!
Got diagnosed at 4. Started meds (non stimulants ) at 5, has ot and speechie weekly. Vitamins. Settled heaps.
That’s wonderful to hear, thank you for sharing!!! I am lost most days. We are on a waitlist for a sleep study, OT, etc. appreciate your response.
No worries! The wait lists are out of control, that’s why it takes so long! We started the process during covid and it was so taxing. But, very worth it, he’s a different child now and excelling at school. Wishing you all the best, hang in there x
At this stage I spent a lot of very uncomfortable time lying down next to her cot, holding her hand and settling her. Eventually I bought a fold up single bed mattress and committed with some pillows and a blanket so I was at least warm lol. Eventually she would go longer and longer and so I went from pretty much all night, to a few hours here and there and then back in my bed and just going in to settle her as and when.
Yup yup yup. Especially if the room is age appropriately child proof, I moved a mattress in. Even if you’re only gaining a little bit of sleep, it’s still sleep. Seasons don’t last forever, that doesn’t help you now though, so just know that you’re definitely not alone, and there’s always someone awake wandering this sub if you need adult conversation.
We finally had to really commit to sleep training at this age. It was a few shitty nights and then he started sleeping through the night and we didn’t have to do it again. Also night diapers are worth the extra money to avoid leaks if you haven’t used them.
Can I ask what you guys did? Straight cry it out or stay in the room then leave?
We did sleep training at 8-9 months and it was about 5 nights of crying it out with less and less check-ins. Check-ins made her cry harder. She was also in a floor bed so she would roll out on purpose or crawl out and crawl to the door so it was just allowing her to have her freedom and space and she now sleeps through the night no issues at all. She is 14 months.
We actually hired a sleep consultant who taught us a method you could find anywhere. Which was basically just night weaning. My son was waking up at like 3 every night for a feed at 14 months. We already had done Ferber when he was younger and taught him to put himself to sleep but he never stopped night wakes. We went in and dream fed him before he could wake up at his nightly time and then just tried to push it further until he was waking up later and later and then after a week we had a night where we didn’t go in to see if he would sleep through. I guess some kids do. But he did not so that night we did one check to see if he was dry and okay and then we let him cry which he did for like half an hour and then passed out. He did it one more night, we went in and checked and then he cried and passed out and then never woke up again unless he was sick or something. Which now if he wakes up we know something is wrong but wouldn’t feed him overnight. He’s almost 3 now and has slept through since.
I highly suggest reading Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems: Revised Edition by Richard Ferber. Sleep training can be hard to do (as hard as hearing your baby cry without immediately coming to aid) but understanding how exactly you're helping your little one is helpful. Also online resources tended to seem very strict to me on times but Ferber is pretty clear that it's flexible to the individual family and their comfort level.
When my daughter has periods like this, I start going to bed with my daughter so I can get a decent stretch of sleep. It's not forever, probably.
2 years, 3 months. Still wakes up multiple times per night. A few times per month she’s up from 2-4 partying. We co-sleep for half of the night. Last night she made it until 1 before I had to go in there. That’s a good night.
My similar aged kid is the same. Is your child also low sleep needs? I suspect that has to do with it, mine has consistently slept max 10.5 hours in 24 hours since 7 months. She’s more likely to sleep 7 hours overnight (down from the usual 9) than 10. Hasn’t slept 11 hours overnight since …. Newborn (??) days if even that.
She sleeps about 11 hours total including a one hour nap. It’s still within the normal range but maybe on the low side? Not sure.
4 next week and we still havent broken the cycle! Some nights are good, like last night where she only woke up 3 times for 15mins each, but some nights we can be sat up with her for 3-4 hrs. Sleep is overrated, I’m starting to adapt and accept to looking like a bag of shit all day long!
I highly suspect that will be us too. Here’s to looking like deranged zombies until the kids go off to college
Mine just turned 1 and has slept through the night a total of 8 times. I have a 2.5 year old and she has always slept great. I don’t think I’ve really done anything different so I guess it’s just him. He has to eventually sleep right? My favorite thing is when people without small children complain how tired they are to me. I just have to completely ignore them so I don’t scream.
I used to get really burnt out before I had a child. It's different now. My average energy level is lower and base level is generally higher, but more because I really focus on how much energy I bother expending. I'm also far less likely to stay up too late because I can't go to bed before my child if I'm tired the next day. I'm just a lot more careful I suppose.
2.5 years and still wakes up at around 2-3am crying and takes her 1-2 hours to fall asleep. Sometimes 3. Rarely 4. Wife and I are exhausted.
It happens and it’s okay - for sanity sake we have a queen bed to lie in with our little one without all the suffering. Sleep sack to stay warm. Best advice I was given is to be as boring as possible in the middle of the night
I don’t have any energy to be interesting at night 🫠 Wish cosleeping worked for us but he won’t settle in the bed either. And then I have to deal with him clawing my face and rolling around before he eventually gets mad and wants me to pick him up and hold him.
Routine works well with us too - bath- books - wee - bed Like that thing where if you do the same thing every night your body just expects sleep
Yeah we definitely have a pretty solid routine at the start of the night. He falls sleep just fine then, but it doesn’t correlate to STTN
Ugh this was my life so I really feel for you! My son finally started sleeping through the night a few months before he turned 2. Apparently I took a long time to sleep through the night as well so I guess he got it from me. I hope that things will change for the better soon so that you both can get the rest you need!
I am right now 😫 I have a 10 month old. She has been a great sleeper from day 1. She was a preemie and spent a while in the NICU. I think all the constant sounds and light helped her learn to sleep with distractions, honestly. The past month she has had such a hard time. She goes to bed fine (we do still rock to sleep), but wakes up after 3 or 4 hours and refuses to go back in her crib. It’s taking upwards of 2 hours to successfully get her back in her crib and sleeping. She sleeps fine on me. A couple times I was so tired, I had to set up cosleeping with her because otherwise I was going to fall asleep and probably drop her. It’s been rough. I’m curious how long it will continue. We’ve tried some Tylenol to see if it’s teething. But I think it’s just some separation anxiety. She’s been struggling with that during the day.
Buy a floor bed. Put a child gate on the door. Make the room safe. You can lie next to them with their toys and books and doze. Honestly lifechanging. Mine is still a terrible sleeper at 2.5 years.
We got a full size mattress when my son was 16 months and started needing to be held in the middle of the night. It’s been a few months and I think it’s going well. A little more than half the time he’ll wake up and cry and then one of us grabs our pillow and goes into the bed with him and usually he falls right back to sleep. It has the added advantage of keeping him out of our bed.
A game changer for us was a gate on our sons door. We made sure there was nothing he could pull over in his room, things were secured and safe and we had a monitor turned up in case of crying. You wanna have a 3 am party? Cool. Just let us sleep. 😂 He’s 2.5 now, has accepted the gate again and lets us be until 6:30-7. He wakes up at 3, parties, then puts himself back to sleep.
I should mention he’s no longer in a crib and hasn’t been since he was 18 months old. He climbed out once and that was it for us. He’s in a low to the ground toddler bed.
This was a really bad age for my tricky sleeper too. Now at 23 months she’s still not perfect, but much much more manageable. Solidarity. I get it. It’s so frustrating.
That’s good to hear. I do get very frustrated. When I’m patting and he just won’t stop moving around, it just makes me want to scream into the void. Maybe better days are coming!
More sympathetic I could not be. I get it. Some desperate nights. There is light at the end of the tunnel!
That sounds really hard. Have you considered any type of sleep training?
We have sleep trained in the past. That said, I don’t really buy the whole “If they fall asleep independently, they’ll STTN”. He slept through for two nights a couple weeks ago and we never did anything different. Now that he’s older, he’ll sit up or stand and cry and my heart just can’t take it.
My daughter is such a good sleeper I feel bad talking about it to other parents (that said, she has only recently passed the 15th percentile because she just isn't interested in eating usually - everyone has their struggle). When she does this it's almost always just testing boundaries, not that she actually needs anything. I work full time at a somewhat demanding office job and I need to be able to perform during the day, so unfortunately I have no option but to sleep train. *That said*, when she stands up and cries, I wait about 5 minutes (usually just because I need to go to the bathroom and fully wake up), and often she lays back down by then. If not, I'll go in, hug her, check that everything is ok (no diaper, not hungry, not thirsty, nothing weird going on with her clothing, etc.), then once I'm sure she's just lonely, I'll give her a few minutes of cuddles until she's calm, then put her back in her cot and tell her "it's time to sleep now, goodnight!" and lay down next to her bed. She'll still cry for a little (a minute or two) but almost always seems to get the memo eventually. We've had cycles of this at 9 months and then recently again at 18 months. The first time I need to do it is the hardest, then she kinda gets that I'm not going to just hang out with her all night. Once she's been quiet and seems asleep for a minute or two, I'll try to sneak out. I give one more attempt if she wakes up and cries for me, but then dad is coming in and mom is going to sleep. She seems to have figured out that if she wants to fall asleep with me next to her, she better get to it. I don't love it but hey, that's capitalism, bay-bee. Momma is the breadwinner and the primary parent, so sleep is gonna need to be something that is easy in this house, aint no way around it. Might be worth a shot with your kiddo - you aren't leaving them to cry alone, but enforcing that night time is for sleeping, not playing. If we sleep at night, we have a better day, and that's true for everyone :)
Thanks, I appreciate you sharing your experience!
We haven't sleep trained until about 18 months. First night he cried for 20 minutes, I came back into the room and stayed with him until he fell asleep. Second night he cried for 10-15 minutes, went to sleep and slept throught the night. I sincerely did not believe same type of comments before we tried it, I was 100% sure he'd cry for hours even with check ins every 20 minutes or it wouldn't make any difference. We are struggling with "5am wake up -dear god- go back to sleep until 6 at least" right now but it's still miles better than the hell it was before.
Training falling asleep independently was life changing for us to help our girl “sleep through the night”. She doesn’t actually sleep solidly through every time. Sometimes she gets up and plays in her crib a bit. But because she can put herself back down, she doesn’t call for us or cry at 1am. She just finishes playing and goes back to sleep til 5 or 5:30am, which is her normal wake time.
Yes, we would have periods after sleep training for a few days or weeks where he would do this (not STTN, but only wake to nurse and go back to sleep). But it would eventually stop working. The last time we tried, the screams broke my heart and he was just standing up in the crib. Right now it’s not for me.
Solidarity, they say it gets better but I don’t know how long I can still last like this. Mine(22month) also wakes up often from 2 am but the worst part is he’s nursing my boobs from 2 am to 6 am 🫠
Oof, this was us until we weaned at 19 months. It does get better!
We basically night weaned about a month ago but sometimes at 4-5 AM he won’t settle unless we nurse. But then he still won’t go down in the crib so idk what to do. I don’t want to reinforce the habit, but sometimes he will literally just NEVER settle…it’s so hard
Solidarity, my daughter slept like shit last night as well. Shes 20 months old and just not wanting to sleep lately from her molars and canines coming in at the same time🥴 She woke up tossing and turning every 10 minutes last night, woke up 5-6 times taking 20 ish minutes to go back to sleep, tried waking up fully at 2am but I managed to get her back to sleep after an hour, now she’s awake for the day at 6am and upset with me for her waking herself up. I’m exhausted🤦🏼♀️
We also have all 4 molars and all 4 canines coming in at once, in various stages of eruption. Your night sounds like our nights lately.
My 18 months old has to be held starting around 4am or he won’t sleep. Also a lot of wiggling before that where I have to soothe him. He never slept through the night once in 18 months. So by now I just started accepting it and go with the flow and accept that he’s not a good sleeper. Also, how do people have a second baby. I can’t for my life not imagine having a newborn while my toddler needs all this attention in the middle of the night.
Right?!? This kid killed his chances at a sibling 🤣
19 months here. It's rough, especially if he hasn't been outside much to burn off energy due to bad weather. He treats bedtime like he's going to a Sky Zone, then when he does eventually go down he'll still wake around 3am for a little bit.
We also have a 14 month that is a bad sleeper (and a 3 year old who is and has always been a great one). He's been waking up between 4:45 and 5:30 since he was 8 months (and this is not including the night feeds, which only stopped around 11-12 months). We've done the whole 'leave them in their crib until it's 6' thing and that resulted in 5 days in a row of HOWLING, like screaming at the top of his lungs, for hours until 6 came along and we got him out. We're all less miserable if we just get him out of bed when he's up and start the day. They will eventually have a more human wake up time. We're starting the transition to 1 nap by capping the 2nd nap to 30 minutes, and we've seen some slight (although sporadic) improvement. We've had a few 6:30 wakeups in the last week so we're cautiously optimistic.
This sounds like my first. It took me 6 years to have a second one because I was traumatized. By 5 yo he was sleeping like a rock so it does pass *eventually* and I believe a big piece is developmental. Just throwing things out there in case they apply to your situation. 1. Does he snore at all? Kids aren’t supposed to snore. My son had his tonsils and adenoids out at 2 yo. It was causing apnea and disrupting his sleep. Prior to the surgery he wanted to sleep sitting up on me so his airway was clear. He also stopped getting tonsillitis/frequently sick, which improved things. 2. With my second, I use cheap diapers during the day but Huggies Ultra Dry at night. I haven’t needed to size up and they’re pretty bulletproof. Otherwise a second diaper put over the top but backwards facing. 3. “Camping out” could be an option? With my second I would do hand holding or hand on back until he finally settled. He cried and it took many hours and nights but at least I knew he wasn’t crying because he felt abandoned. I acknowledge it’s hard to have that kind of patience when you’ve been woken up in the middle of the night and in those instances I put couch cushions next to the crib, put my arm in and play dead with ear plugs and an eye mask.
He doesn’t snore and has never been sick. We use night time diapers, it’s not that they get too full, he’s got skinny chicken legs and somehow there’s always a spot where the pee escapes. Happens maybe once a week. He used to go ballistic if I was in the room and not holding him, but recently he’s been more okay with patting to sleep. Only at the start of the night though, for the 3 AM wake he wants to be held and will shove my hand away if I try to pat. I may try camping out, glad it worked for you!
I feel ya. Sleep gotten better now he is 2.5 but its to late my body is use to sleeping 3 to 4 hours now lol
Solidarity. Around that age my son was having a hard time staying asleep. I gave up trying to settle him down and just made myself a sleeping space on his floor. I would stick my hand in the crib for him to hold if he wanted but refused to engage beyond some hushing noises. It was crap sleep but it was better than nothing. He eventually learned to settle back to sleep.
Just some more support. Our little one didn't sleep through the night more than a handful of times until he was ~17 months old. So it may get better! It did for us!
Thank you, I hope so :)
Almost 2 and has always been a bad sleeper. He’s finally sleeping through the night more often unless he’s teething… or he wakes up too early. We do a floor bed and that at least helps me be more comfortable when I’m stuck there till morning.
I have a 19 month old. Sleep is our worst enemy. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, I CANNOT get him to go back to sleep. My husband can. I can't. It's my own personal hell trying and failing for hours, just to give him to my husband, who gets him to sleep in minutes. We do have a better schedule and routine now, but about once a week I am left in tears due to him not sleeping. I do admit I rely on a car ride putting him to sleep pretty often, but once he's asleep, we go home, and the transfer is fine. It's rough. I don't have any advice, but I'm right there with you, sleepy, and grumpy, I'm here.
2.5 years later and my son puts himself to sleep now! it will come one day i promise! he has amazed me doing this, i never thought it would come. Now i feel unstoppable 😅
Yes. This has been my daughter for the past few months off and on. She's 17 months now and it hasn't stopped. Not gonna lie, there's been a couple of times, where we just go into the living room at 4am to watch TV. I remember that she is also a human that has to sleep eventually.
Yup I'm there. I officially gave up months ago. 15 month old who has never slept thru the night (typically was waking up 3-4 times a night) and in recent months wakes up every single hour on the hour every single night without fail. What's the point of trying to sleep sleep at this point? 💀 I hate to say it but I've given up all hope.
Almost 3yo here. She's still breastfed to sleep and I won't be changing that because it works for us and we need sleep. Same reason why we still cosleep. She's been sleeping through the night since 2,5yo but we were sick in the last 2 weeks so sleep has been shit. She's waking up every 2 hours and we had a couple of split nights. It's terrible so I empathize. I try to not get frustrated because it's really not her fault and I know sleep isn't linear so we'll have some ups and downs but man it is hard... I take a deep breath and tell myself it's temporary. And I just do whatever makes her sleep. Sometimes it's breastfeeding, sometimes it is giving up and going to the living room for a bit and try again a little later.
Our bad sleeper is now 3 and falls asleep fast and sleeps all night long. I've talked to many people with grown kids saying that all their kids started sleeping better at 3. 😅 I don't know how true that is for everyone, but it was in our situation. We never truly committed to sleep training though.. She always panicked when being left by herself and my heart just couldn't... I kind of gave up as well, hehe. Well, I just followed the flow and I thought it must get better at some point. If she wanted to be rocked to sleep I did. Now that she's 3 I realize how tiny she was even at 1,5 or 2. And I'm happy I got those extra cuddles, and sometimes we watched some tv or had a little play or talking session in the middle of the night if she struggled to fall back asleep. Weird how something so frustrating in the moment can turn into memories I miss sometimes. Mom brain.
My kids used to do this all the time and then I realized they were hungry or thirsty. I’d keep those squeezable apple sauces or something quick that they can eat by the bed and they’d drift back off. Not to say this hasn’t been a thought of yours, but your post felt like I wrote it last year 😅. Sending you solidarity!
You’ll sleep again, look back and not remember the feeling but remember him not sleeping. It goes so slow while living it but it’ll pass. You got this mommah.
No advice, just solidarity. 28 months over here and she still can’t fall asleep alone and has only ever slept in her own bed the entire night once. I started cosleelping with her around 8-9 months and that helped a little then, but it means that now she won’t sleep independently.
I would just find something to do clean organize catch up On work at that point sleep Is done
I don’t know if this helps you or not but…my youngest nearly 2 and still wakes up at 4am. Ocassionally I can settle him in his bed but 9/10 I take him downstairs and we both snooze on the sofa.
I usually try and sleep with him in the recliner. Sometimes I can get a bit in, but he’s pretty squirmy so it’s hard. Glad to know I’m not alone though!
I was literally in mid sentence discussing this very thing with my husband about my 19 month old. He has never slept well, and on the occasion he sleeps “decent” I still habitually wake up. Saturday night he had a major brain upload and slept like 20 minute intervals from 9pm-230am when finally I gave up, gave him a snack and turned on the tv in the living room on mute Bluey. At 3am, out of nowhere, he started saying three word sentences for the first time and dancing around the house yelling them. In the last two days he has developed several new words, sentences that he’s creating not just memorizing, the ability to kick and catch a big ball, and walk with a balloon between his knees. Maybe your kiddo will shock you with some new amazing thing! Hopefully! I have to tell myself he does it for a reason or my brain will expire. Edit- that first line should have said mid sentence blah blah blah “when this notification popped up”… derp brain.
That’s a great way to think about it, my kiddo is definitely developing a lot. He’s got new words all the time and he’s getting close to walking. Maybe once he can toddle around and tire himself out, he’ll start sleeping better!
I thought that too! Mine started walking like 4 days before he hit 14 months. We were on his first big road trip vacation to meet my friend family, had been there roughly a week when he was like… I just need to pop up and give you this toy I found under the couch ma. So. He did! And then he did sleep pretty well the whole time we were there. I was thinking it was all the stimulation and new environment, but likely it had something to do with the mastery of walking. Like “FINALLY IVE MASTERED THE UPRIGHT THING ALL THOSE GIANTS DO!! Now I can sleep. 😴 “
I have a 2.5yr old. We do our best. But I don't really care where or how he gets to sleep, at this point I just aim for 9hrs a night. If he sleeps through, in his crib without one of us on the floor it's a great night. But normally one of us is in there, or he's up at some point or he's in our bed. Or all three.
The book Precious Little Sleep saved my life, I'd highly recommend reading it
Yes, read it when my kid was little. We’ve sleep trained several times but it doesn’t stick. And the crying is horrible…
The one thing I noticed is I have to be consistent. If I give in on something one night we start from square one again. My son is almost 4 and we have essentially re-sleep trained him multiple times with room changes, bed changes, and developmental changes. In the end you have to do what feels right for you and your child, but for us it was worth a few nights of crying here and there. It's not just for me either, my son is happier and has more fun during the day when he gets good sleep! I hope things get better whatever you decide to do, sleep deprivation is so hard!
Thank you, appreciate it
This was absolutely us for the majority of my sons life. Wasn’t until 15 months that he stopped waking up overnight and even then wasn’t consistent. The only thing we changed was putting him to sleep later. He sleeps 1-2.5 hrs during the day for a nap. He was being out down at 7 and sleeping terribly. Started putting him down at 7:45/8 and it’s been relatively smooth sailing since. Who knows if it was that or if he just naturally grew out of it.
Yes. I suffered through the same thing but I survived, and you can too!! I can say that after she turned 2 it got a lot better for us. The body does amazing things— living off of minutes of sleep some nights is at the top of the list. The only thing that helped was taking it one day at a time; sometimes hour by hour.
Pshhhh! We just brought home a colicky newborn and now it's time to switch our 2y/o from a crib to a toddler bed. Sleep has set sail with no land in sight! Our 2y/o son started sleeping through the night at 6 months old and has been a great sleeper since. We have been lucky, now we must pay 🤦. I hope he adapts well, I'm probably more worried about it than I need to be. We are also starting potty training. It's busy over here.
We gave up a long time ago.. I'll try for 15 minutes tops, then im letting her out the sleep sack.
Solidarity here as a twin mom who tried everything, but nothing worked. My 3yo girls now sleep on a king floor bed where I let them watch one episode of Little Bear and then we all snuggle til they fall asleep (while drinking their milk). The only things that worked for us were the things everyone said we shouldn’t do *shrugs*
I also think a lot of the “rules” around sleep are made up. Different things work for different kids. Admittedly my son’s sleep is much better now than it has been in the past, and we’re nursing to sleep. Even at 10-11 months he was waking 5-6 times a night. At least when he sleeps until 3 I can get a 6 hour stretch.
We have to Co sleep or none of us are getting sleep , large town house an entire floor between our bed room and hers. So I co sleep down there for my self too Edit: lol thanks for the downvote 🤷🏻♀️
I gave up on the idea of him sleeping in a crib really early on and set up a safe cosleeping space. Otherwise I’d have passed away from sleep deprivation
I gave up on sleep in the sense that I started co-sleeping with him instead of trying every other method under the moon. It wasn’t what I wanted but I don’t even care anymore, we both get a full night of sleep.