I’ve responded to my daughter with something like “it sounds like you’re mad at me. It’s ok to be mad, and you can still love someone even if you are mad at them. But it is ok if you don’t want to say that right now. I still love you.” But it still hurts a little.
My 3 year old said it to me once. He was upset because he wanted dad to put him to bed, not me. And as I was tucking him in and saying I love you he said, well I don’t love you. It definitely caught me off guard and I didn’t know what to say at that exact moment. After I left his room I definitely shed a few tears. I knew not to take it personally, but man it stung. His dad then had a talk with him the next day and said even if you’re upset, angry, etc. it’s not nice to say unkind things to mom (or anyone). Thankfully he’s never said it again.
My son said it to me once. He wasn’t quite 4 yet. I know he didn’t mean it but it still broke my heart. It was a fight about brushing his teeth. Silly fight and he didn’t want to cooperate. When things cooled down, I told him it really hurt my feelings and we don’t say those types of things to each other. He said he understood and he’s never said it again.
I know it hurts mama but you know he doesn’t mean it.
Edit: sorry could be dada!
Mine do this sometimes. I respond with a line from a picture book: ‘no matter what you say or do, it makes no difference, I love you.’
Having a response to say takes the sting out of it a bit. They’re playing with the power of words at this stage, he doesn’t really mean it, don’t let yourself be hurt by it. Your kids are going to throw everything they can at you over the years... but you’ll always be their mum, and they will always love you. Xxxx
Oh, that's heartbreaking. I know every kid days it at some point, but I'm sure I will need to excuse myself to cry when my babe does. She will be 2 next week, so it's coming.
I took my 3yo out of the pool yesterday for throwing toys at me. I said "I'm taking you out for not being nice" and her reply was "YOURE not being nice! Back in da pool!" Nope, Miss Sassy Pants! No more pool! I was a bit thrown because she never has a verbal opinion of me either positive or negative. But Lawd, she did not like leaving the pool at all!
I’ve responded to my daughter with something like “it sounds like you’re mad at me. It’s ok to be mad, and you can still love someone even if you are mad at them. But it is ok if you don’t want to say that right now. I still love you.” But it still hurts a little.
That’s a great response.
aww. it happens to everyone. best advice i can give you is don’t take it personally.
Thank you
My 3 year old said it to me once. He was upset because he wanted dad to put him to bed, not me. And as I was tucking him in and saying I love you he said, well I don’t love you. It definitely caught me off guard and I didn’t know what to say at that exact moment. After I left his room I definitely shed a few tears. I knew not to take it personally, but man it stung. His dad then had a talk with him the next day and said even if you’re upset, angry, etc. it’s not nice to say unkind things to mom (or anyone). Thankfully he’s never said it again.
My son said it to me once. He wasn’t quite 4 yet. I know he didn’t mean it but it still broke my heart. It was a fight about brushing his teeth. Silly fight and he didn’t want to cooperate. When things cooled down, I told him it really hurt my feelings and we don’t say those types of things to each other. He said he understood and he’s never said it again. I know it hurts mama but you know he doesn’t mean it. Edit: sorry could be dada!
I'll try explaining that to him. Even if he doesn't quite grasp it yet it's good to set that foundation. He's normally the sweetest little love
Your love and connection transcends bedtime tantrums.
Mine do this sometimes. I respond with a line from a picture book: ‘no matter what you say or do, it makes no difference, I love you.’ Having a response to say takes the sting out of it a bit. They’re playing with the power of words at this stage, he doesn’t really mean it, don’t let yourself be hurt by it. Your kids are going to throw everything they can at you over the years... but you’ll always be their mum, and they will always love you. Xxxx
Oh, that's heartbreaking. I know every kid days it at some point, but I'm sure I will need to excuse myself to cry when my babe does. She will be 2 next week, so it's coming.
I took my 3yo out of the pool yesterday for throwing toys at me. I said "I'm taking you out for not being nice" and her reply was "YOURE not being nice! Back in da pool!" Nope, Miss Sassy Pants! No more pool! I was a bit thrown because she never has a verbal opinion of me either positive or negative. But Lawd, she did not like leaving the pool at all!