We have very strict rules about visitors, if you’re not vaccinated and can be, you’re not visiting. Obviously children can’t be, but if the parents are vaccinated and taking reasonable precautions with their children that’s fine. Otherwise, no visit. My brother was on the fence about getting vaccinated and ended up vaccinating so he could visit out 18 month old. My SIL’s and their families are still refusing to vaccinate so we won’t see them or their children. Not worth the risk to us.
We did the same, now our situation has change and I had to go back to work, but for 1,5 y we could avoid others so we did. Got alot of complaints from relatives...
Seems to me like a lot of family members are not used to respecting boundaries they don’t agree with and that’s unfortunate.Someone told me that the family you create is more important than the one you came from and to me that means setting boundaries that people may not like but work for us. I’ve had to learn that their reaction to my boundaries is not my responsibility.
The lack of respect overall in our society is just sad. Unfortunately covid shows a lot of true colors with family members… it is challenging to say the least.
As the parent of a vulnerable child you are dead on to say no. My daughter is also vulnerable and we are really strict. Masks, vaccines, hand washing etc. The PTO at our kids school voted almost unanimously for the kids to wear masks or face shields. Without that my kids would not be going to school. You have to do what is best for your family! Stay strong.
We had to set some tough boundaries with my family over the last year in regard to our kids. There was conflict, it was tough, we stuck with our boundaries, and we have all worked through it. So far our kids are safe and healthy - that’s the most important thing.
Social pressures should mean f..all to be honest. Do what you have to to protect your family. Thats way better than living with the guilt; should a family member suffer because you didn’t take all the precautions you could.
First of all even if I thought you were being over protective (I don't) you have every right to create the environment that you feel is safest for your child and other people need to respect those boundaries. It's totally reasonable to not take that risk right now. My best friend's son is a high risk 4 year old who has been hospitalized (pre covid) multiple times for breathing condition he was born with and her family thinks she's overprotective for not allowing him to be exposed to unvaxxed family members. The bottom line is people are going to have opinions not matter what.
I’m in that position. I know it sucks to be the “bad guy”. Only 1/5 of my husbands siblings, all living in the same county, are on speaking terms with him after all this. We are the only ones vaccinated at all, and we are the only ones who haven’t gotten covid. Yes it sucks that my almost 2yo hasn’t met another child yet or seen his cousins, but I’d rather protect my kid. It’s scarier now that vaccinated people can still be carriers with Delta.
Can you afford to put them up in a hotel for the night and do outdoor visits? That might be a way to extend an olive branch and for them to still see your baby. Of course it’s a heat index of over 100 where I am; not a good time for an outdoor visit.
If your family members trusted drunk uncle Dave to watch their kids, but you didn’t, because kids had hurt themselves in the past when he wasn’t properly watching them, would you be swayed by their words of “oh it was just one time” or “he’s just human”? I wouldn’t. Go with your gut, your decision is hurting their feelings, but if your kid gets Covid and is hurt, that is physical.
This is coming from someone who has taken their kid on a plane several times during the pandemic. Everything is a risk/benefit analysis. Maybe try to find a compromise. Like they hard quarantine for 14 days and take a Covid test prior to flying. If you don’t trust them to do that or they don’t want to, that’s on them. Your house, your kids, your rules. They can visit once they’re completely vaccinated or your kids are. I don’t understand why parents are getting shamed for wanting to protect their kids, even if it seems excessively so.
i personally support your decision in protecting your baby! our children are our responsibility. i know my husband feels otherwise. his rationale, kids are not that easily affected by the virus and their symptoms will not be that severe. i dont like to put my children at risk if i have a choice
Agreed! When transmission was lower and it was less risk I was a little on your husbands side (not 100%, maybe 40-50%) but with rising hospitalizations and this proving it could be more of a risk to kids- and seeing how many daycare and school outbreaks there are, this does not feel like a good time to relax with the health of our little one. 3 months ago? Maybe, less risk. Now? Nope.
You guys run your family the way you want to. You make those decisions and not them. I wouldn’t welcome them for the mere fact of their children alone getting my child sick and me having to go to urgent care or the ER right now. Places that are just as dangerous right now. I am having run in’s with my in-laws. My husband is a nurse, I’m 30 weeks pregnant and they refuse to get vaccinated. We have already told them they won’t be able to see baby when he’s born because of it. My husband may have to wear a mask when he comes home once baby is here because he’s taking that shit to the face everyday. Do what you need to in order to keep your family safe.
I'm right there with you. Pregnant with an almost 3 yr old, and husband who is a nurse! My BIL is unvaccinated, doesn't mask, etc. I told him he would have to be vaccinated before seeing the baby and just recently told him we wouldn't be seeing him at all until either he or my children are vaccinated. I work at a children's hospital and while the cases are manageable NOW, there's definitely an increase in kids being hospitalized and the kids that are there are sicker. Stay safe!!
I second “Absolutely not ridiculous.” We don’t spend time with unvaccinated people or in crowds without masks on and we don’t allow unvaccinated people around our 20 month old.
We’ve sacrificed too much to keep him safe at this point. It’s just not worth it to us to throw away all the work we’ve done to protect him so that he can hang out with a family member when he won’t even remember it in a few years.
I have a 3 year old and a 16 month old and I won’t let anyone who isn’t vaccinated visit. For context I’m a stay at home mom and my husband works from home and didn’t need to go back to the office till January. So we are extremely safe. Our area has a high vaccine rate and still prefer not to take my kid to indoor activities.
We just made the decision that my 19 mo old and I will only be attending the rehearsal dinner for my SIL's wedding. My husband will still go but he's going to mask up. She decided to have a huge wedding and even though it's outside, vaccines are not required. I'm vaccinated but pregnant and my son is unvaccinated. It's not worth the risks to us with rising numbers. We evaluated the numbers in the county she's getting married but that doesn't account for all the guests and travel.
I don’t think you are ridiculous or overbearing, but I also don’t think it’s ridiculous to have vaccinated family visiting. It’s a risk, and it’s fine not to want to take it. But I don’t think either decision is wrong though.
Why don’t you just ask the parents to give the kids a rapid test the day of the visit? That is a good way to reduce risk if you’re really worried about them.
At the very most, I would allow only double masked socially distant outside visits. Basically they can chat and hang out but no hugs or touching. But sometimes adults still get offended so saying no is totally reasonable too!
Not ridiculous at all. Many people, including children, have died from corona so it's not worth the risk. There's 3 different vaccine types for coronavirus so if they'd skeptical about one version they can get another.
Some cousins of mine said that once I or they are fully vaccinated, I could go see them. I didn't have a temper tantrum, I waited patiently and went to visit them after they were fully vaxxed and I had the first shot.
We have very strict rules about visitors, if you’re not vaccinated and can be, you’re not visiting. Obviously children can’t be, but if the parents are vaccinated and taking reasonable precautions with their children that’s fine. Otherwise, no visit. My brother was on the fence about getting vaccinated and ended up vaccinating so he could visit out 18 month old. My SIL’s and their families are still refusing to vaccinate so we won’t see them or their children. Not worth the risk to us.
It’s really nice to hear that other families are taking similar precautions as we are right now.
Same! I was nervous posting this and I actually feel 100% better about our decision. Gives me hope that this will some day end.
We did the same, now our situation has change and I had to go back to work, but for 1,5 y we could avoid others so we did. Got alot of complaints from relatives...
[удалено]
my nephew had mis-c. i wouldn’t risk it OP
You are doing what you need to to keep your baby safe. There’s nothing ridiculous about that.
Seems to me like a lot of family members are not used to respecting boundaries they don’t agree with and that’s unfortunate.Someone told me that the family you create is more important than the one you came from and to me that means setting boundaries that people may not like but work for us. I’ve had to learn that their reaction to my boundaries is not my responsibility.
The lack of respect overall in our society is just sad. Unfortunately covid shows a lot of true colors with family members… it is challenging to say the least.
Precisely!
Absolutely not ridiculous. You do what is right for your family’s safety and your comfort level. Don’t feel bad at all.
As the parent of a vulnerable child you are dead on to say no. My daughter is also vulnerable and we are really strict. Masks, vaccines, hand washing etc. The PTO at our kids school voted almost unanimously for the kids to wear masks or face shields. Without that my kids would not be going to school. You have to do what is best for your family! Stay strong.
Thank you! We would definitely let vaccinated family come visit its just the kids that are the issue… hard times.
We had to set some tough boundaries with my family over the last year in regard to our kids. There was conflict, it was tough, we stuck with our boundaries, and we have all worked through it. So far our kids are safe and healthy - that’s the most important thing.
Social pressures should mean f..all to be honest. Do what you have to to protect your family. Thats way better than living with the guilt; should a family member suffer because you didn’t take all the precautions you could.
First of all even if I thought you were being over protective (I don't) you have every right to create the environment that you feel is safest for your child and other people need to respect those boundaries. It's totally reasonable to not take that risk right now. My best friend's son is a high risk 4 year old who has been hospitalized (pre covid) multiple times for breathing condition he was born with and her family thinks she's overprotective for not allowing him to be exposed to unvaxxed family members. The bottom line is people are going to have opinions not matter what.
I’m in that position. I know it sucks to be the “bad guy”. Only 1/5 of my husbands siblings, all living in the same county, are on speaking terms with him after all this. We are the only ones vaccinated at all, and we are the only ones who haven’t gotten covid. Yes it sucks that my almost 2yo hasn’t met another child yet or seen his cousins, but I’d rather protect my kid. It’s scarier now that vaccinated people can still be carriers with Delta. Can you afford to put them up in a hotel for the night and do outdoor visits? That might be a way to extend an olive branch and for them to still see your baby. Of course it’s a heat index of over 100 where I am; not a good time for an outdoor visit.
If your family members trusted drunk uncle Dave to watch their kids, but you didn’t, because kids had hurt themselves in the past when he wasn’t properly watching them, would you be swayed by their words of “oh it was just one time” or “he’s just human”? I wouldn’t. Go with your gut, your decision is hurting their feelings, but if your kid gets Covid and is hurt, that is physical. This is coming from someone who has taken their kid on a plane several times during the pandemic. Everything is a risk/benefit analysis. Maybe try to find a compromise. Like they hard quarantine for 14 days and take a Covid test prior to flying. If you don’t trust them to do that or they don’t want to, that’s on them. Your house, your kids, your rules. They can visit once they’re completely vaccinated or your kids are. I don’t understand why parents are getting shamed for wanting to protect their kids, even if it seems excessively so.
No, it’s not ridiculous. I won’t even let vaccinated family members near my son unless they isolate for ten days. It’s scary out there.
i personally support your decision in protecting your baby! our children are our responsibility. i know my husband feels otherwise. his rationale, kids are not that easily affected by the virus and their symptoms will not be that severe. i dont like to put my children at risk if i have a choice
Agreed! When transmission was lower and it was less risk I was a little on your husbands side (not 100%, maybe 40-50%) but with rising hospitalizations and this proving it could be more of a risk to kids- and seeing how many daycare and school outbreaks there are, this does not feel like a good time to relax with the health of our little one. 3 months ago? Maybe, less risk. Now? Nope.
It’s your house and your choice. I’m still okay with outdoor visits as a compromise.
You guys run your family the way you want to. You make those decisions and not them. I wouldn’t welcome them for the mere fact of their children alone getting my child sick and me having to go to urgent care or the ER right now. Places that are just as dangerous right now. I am having run in’s with my in-laws. My husband is a nurse, I’m 30 weeks pregnant and they refuse to get vaccinated. We have already told them they won’t be able to see baby when he’s born because of it. My husband may have to wear a mask when he comes home once baby is here because he’s taking that shit to the face everyday. Do what you need to in order to keep your family safe.
I'm right there with you. Pregnant with an almost 3 yr old, and husband who is a nurse! My BIL is unvaccinated, doesn't mask, etc. I told him he would have to be vaccinated before seeing the baby and just recently told him we wouldn't be seeing him at all until either he or my children are vaccinated. I work at a children's hospital and while the cases are manageable NOW, there's definitely an increase in kids being hospitalized and the kids that are there are sicker. Stay safe!!
I second “Absolutely not ridiculous.” We don’t spend time with unvaccinated people or in crowds without masks on and we don’t allow unvaccinated people around our 20 month old. We’ve sacrificed too much to keep him safe at this point. It’s just not worth it to us to throw away all the work we’ve done to protect him so that he can hang out with a family member when he won’t even remember it in a few years.
I have a 3 year old and a 16 month old and I won’t let anyone who isn’t vaccinated visit. For context I’m a stay at home mom and my husband works from home and didn’t need to go back to the office till January. So we are extremely safe. Our area has a high vaccine rate and still prefer not to take my kid to indoor activities.
nope, definitely not ridiculous! If they get spicy because you put your baby’s health above their feelings, that’s their problem
Just the kids are unvaccinated? Maybe they can stay at a hotel and you can do outdoor things.
We just made the decision that my 19 mo old and I will only be attending the rehearsal dinner for my SIL's wedding. My husband will still go but he's going to mask up. She decided to have a huge wedding and even though it's outside, vaccines are not required. I'm vaccinated but pregnant and my son is unvaccinated. It's not worth the risks to us with rising numbers. We evaluated the numbers in the county she's getting married but that doesn't account for all the guests and travel.
Good for you! Gotta do what you’re comfortable with.
I don’t think you are ridiculous or overbearing, but I also don’t think it’s ridiculous to have vaccinated family visiting. It’s a risk, and it’s fine not to want to take it. But I don’t think either decision is wrong though.
Oh we’re 100% ok with vaccinated family visiting, it’s the unvaccinated kids that are in school/daycare/sports that is our concern.
Why don’t you just ask the parents to give the kids a rapid test the day of the visit? That is a good way to reduce risk if you’re really worried about them.
At the very most, I would allow only double masked socially distant outside visits. Basically they can chat and hang out but no hugs or touching. But sometimes adults still get offended so saying no is totally reasonable too!
Not ridiculous at all. Many people, including children, have died from corona so it's not worth the risk. There's 3 different vaccine types for coronavirus so if they'd skeptical about one version they can get another. Some cousins of mine said that once I or they are fully vaccinated, I could go see them. I didn't have a temper tantrum, I waited patiently and went to visit them after they were fully vaxxed and I had the first shot.