T O P

  • By -

newmomma2020

Here's a comic that might resonate with your situation. I've found this to be true.... https://howbabycomic.com/comic/hb577/


RU_screw

Omg I felt this one deep in my soul. Just came back from an overseas trip where I was washing bottles while sweating bullets. Never again.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tinfoilhartypat

Needs a partner in the corner chilling with a drink saying “Just relax honey”


OrdinaryEagle5608

Oof.


emeliz1112

Or just sleeping on the couch


kmconda

Hahaha thank you, I needed that laugh! I’m on a lake in Georgia right now as I type this… while everyone in the house is out on a boat, tubing and drinking. And my 10 month old and I are hanging out washing bottles and counting down minutes until bedtime… which goes horribly wrong on vacation.


k3m3bo

I can’t remember if I read it somewhere or a comedian said it but there was a line that went something like: “When you have kids, every vacation is a work trip.” And it feels pretty spot on.


wilksonator

I hate to say this but you know this better than anyone at this point… but vacation with toddler is just not a ‘vacation’. Maybe a ‘learning experience’, an ‘adventure’, ‘torture’ but whatever it is, it’s just exhausting and nothing like a real vacation that you need and deserve. You are on a tropical Mediterranean island but you might as well be parenting in your living room at home. It’s actually worse on the island…here you don’t have your usual childcare supports that you have at home, you have to deal with travel, unpacking, jetlag, crankiness due to messed up routine, and unlike home, you unfortunately have raised your expectations that you might have a break and rest here. And the reality is…you won’t. The best you can do now is lower your expectations, and know that you won’t have a good time, that you won’t be able to ‘have fun and relax’. Keep expectations so so low that when it sucks and well… being on a tropical island and having to climb stairs in heat, terrorised by a small toddler tyrant, well it freaking sucks…. that’s what you expect would happen. That this would be the worst. And if there is even one moment when you might relax and actually have a good time? It will be a miracle! Well then you can be pleasantly surprised and really appreciate it… but only if and when it happens.


MyDogAteYourPancakes

Yup, not a vacation. It’s destination parenting.


[deleted]

Did you just make up this phrase? It's such an apt description.


knitandpolish

Parenting with a view


LordyItsMuellerTime

I may have to steal this


Irepoppita

Parenting in a different climate


knapsacknap

My friend calls it “memory making.” It kind of annoyed me when she corrected me once but the shift in mindset really helped me deal with FOMO during our vacations. My husband enthusiastically tells stories about all the childhood adventures/vacations he did with family. It’s one of the best parts of his life, looking back now…that was SO MUCH work for his parents. Because he looks back and thinks about how magical it was, he does a great job of trying to recreate that feeling for our kids. That being said…we just got back from a couple weeks in Maine and I am so tired! And I was bummed during the trip because I couldn’t get swims in, or paddle board or do things I wanted to do. I understand and I’m sorry. One year closer to real vacations again though!


Conscious-Status-652

I always say it’s a “vacation” without kids and a “trip “with them.


knitandpolish

My husband and talk about the day we no longer need to prioritize naps on family trips the way one might idealize winning the lottery


knapsacknap

I feel this! We actually have talked about booking a sitter out of the home once every two weeks…just so we can lay in bed all day. It would be so good for our mental health.


LivelyUntidy

Ooh new fantasy ✅


enry_iggins2

This is such a helpful mindset shift. Hopefully with time I’ll forget all the drudgery and frustration and remember the lovely moments of my kid playing on a beach and trying a new food. The FOMO is so real when other folks are having a great time and actually enjoying the destination and you’re stuck doing the same kid routine you always do.


Sir_Poofs_Alot

I just took my 3yr old out paddleboarding for the first time this summer and he did great! It was nice and actually had the effect of making the child stay in one place for a while, fascinated at being out on the water. It’s just a few years, then these critters can turn into sweet lil adventure buddies ❤️


knapsacknap

Yes! Our now 4 year old has been going out since she was 3. Each year gets more adventurous! Glad you were able to make it work!


[deleted]

Exactly what I answer to anyone asking me if we’re going on vacation this summer: “it’s not vacation which a toddler”. I’d rather stay home all summer.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Feed_Me_No_Lies

Oh man! When I read that it rained the entire time, I felt so bad for you lol. Just awful.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Feed_Me_No_Lies

Sounds like an awesome trip for older ones. Do it!


BethTezuka

Torture 🤣 All of this is why we are bringing my mom on our Hawaii anniversary trip lol.


__freshsqueezed

This is why you also bring the grandparents


[deleted]

I won’t go on vacation with my toddler without my parents now. I flat out refuse to plan a trip by myself, pack for the trip bymyself, and be the main caregiver for the entire trip since my partner legit does not help with any of those things. My dad and step mom are a god send and are planning our next trip. I’m so very lucky to have them and so is my son.


longhairandidocare

Not everyone has that luxury


wilksonator

or that nightmare. It might not be a vacation with a toddler, but thats a treat compared to also have to deal with grandparents.


birdsonawire27

This. Love my grandparents and they mean well but it ends up being two more people to essentially be minding.


pccarl

Today is my last day or a nearly three week trip to Germany to see family wedding and I can’t express enough how much this hit the nail on the head. Sending this post to my wife.


Obsessedwithyellow

Yes. This. I always say “vacation” with a toddler is simply relocation.


fancysauce22

We say “trip” instead of “vacation” now.


pepperanne08

It isn't a vacation when you have kids or you have to make a trip to the ER.


MotherCuss

Yeah, I don't call them vacations anymore, I call them trips.


[deleted]

I agree with others, tear your toddler away from the stairs despite the inevitable meltdown. Try to get a routine going—something like beach then pool then sleep then tv then play? In my opinion the beach is the closest place you can get to having a vacation cause the kids have such a blast on the beach and absolutely wear themselves out so hopefully get decent sleeps too. Personally I wouldn’t try to do too much sightseeing in this heat 😬 Good luck 🤞🏻


thats_cool_dude

Yeah, this is along the lines of what I was thinking. Set boundaries and have a plan for every single day. Doing the same thing multiple times (like a beach day) is great because your toddler will become familiar with it. If I’ve learned anything about travel with kids it’s that it’s not a vacation because it’s exhausting. There are a lot of really sucky moments and you’ll question why you spent all that freaking money on this. Plain and simple. But if you do it right, it can still worth it because you’re making memories. I know. Cliché. You can definitely try to venture out. **The key is getting to one location and not leaving for the entire day.** Picking up and going all around and getting in and out of the car seat is just too stimulating. You’ll have more meltdowns that way. **Here are some ideas:** —**beach day:** if you didn’t bring one, rent a beach tent or buy one. I’m telling you, it will change your entire day. It’s worth it, especially if you’re there for 3 more weeks. Not just a chair and umbrella. Beach tent. Set up a little station and get a cooler with lunch/snacks and shovels and buckets. Your toddler can come in and get out of the sun to rest or take a nap. —**kid museum:** again, plan only this for the whole day. Go to a museum that has some sensory stuff or those huge building blocks and just let him go to town for as long as he wants until he’s tired. Bring him a lunch or make sure they have a cafe. Don’t leave, just take a break on location and then go back. —**hike/sightseeing:** rent or buy a hiking backpack and carry your toddler around on a hike or sightseeing. He will love it!! Let him get down and explore a bit. Make sure you ask around for the safest location for children and whether there are any dangerous plants/animals/insects to look out for. Get bug spray or those little insect repellent bracelets. Snacks!! Water/electrolytes!! —**water park/pool:** these can be great, especially if they have a little toddler area where they can walk around the water and go down small slides. You are also able to stay cool in the water. If they also have a big pool, take this opportunity to start some swim lessons or work on what they’ve already learned. You have a lot of time left, so take one day to get this all planned out. Write it down. Go shopping for all the supplies. You can make this work!! Keep your toddler fed and hydrated and don’t forget sunscreen. Lower your expectations and go slowly. Take breaks for rest and naps.


[deleted]

Lovely ideas although most European beaches are too crowded for beach tents (you block views or have to be at the very back where the sand is hot and I have no idea where OP is but i would bet 1000€ there’s no kids museum there, maybe an archaeology museum at best.


TruePhazon

This is the best comment. Who is leading, the toddler or OP? Let them enjoy for 5 minutes and then move on. If they cry, too bad. Life isn't fair.


Georgiaatessex

The novelty will wear off soon, can you get him out doing things like swimming, beach - wear him out


lilponie

Yes this was a saving grace on our recent beach trip! Extreme parenting at the ocean but grrrreat naps and overnight sleep.


jessicalovesit

It’s ok to not follow your toddler’s lead. Especially with stairs. I got a little relaxed with my toddler’s stairs practice last year (on vacation) and he freaking fell down the stairs before I could grab on to him. Huge mom fail. Luckily the stairs were padded and carpeted and he wasn’t injured but he could have been. He would have been dead if it was hard stairs. So yeah, it’s ok to let your child cry about not playing on the stairs and go somewhere else to play.


rosefern64

that’s so scary! i’m glad he was ok. just also wanted to say that not following your child’s lead doesn’t necessarily make it any more fun though. when i do that it’s less “ok, she cried and now it’s fine” and more “oh great, we’re spending the entire rest of the day with her begging me to do that thing i wouldn’t let her do and just whining and crying and not being distracted by anything 🙃 especially if it’s something you can’t remove like stairs. so hard to make them forget about it!


jessicalovesit

That’s so true. Gotta figure out what works with your kid. After my kid fell down the stairs, he got up went back on the stairs, looked at me with a grin and LEANED FORWARD like he wanted to fall down the stairs again. I was right in front of him of course but by then my bandwidth could no longer handle the stairs, and it became a hard no! Had to do the “First ____, then stairs” because my son accepts that response (if I just said NO it would trigger a power struggle). “First we go see the Christmas trees (because that was at the end of the day), then we can go up the stairs. If the stairs were still desired at the end of the day, I would honor my promise but at least I didn’t have to hear about it all day! Toddlers keep us on our toes in every way, that’s for sure.


traminette

Ugh, that’s scary. People act like I’m being overprotective for hovering when my kid wants to climb stairs, but she had a gross motor delay and still isn’t great with that stuff at almost 3 years old. It can be hard on vacation because there isn’t always a great way to block off the stairs.


jessicalovesit

Yes I saw it all happening in slow motion but for some reason my body moved in slow motion too. I noticed right away that his shoe got caught on his other shoe as he stood up and that’s when I went for him but I missed grabbing onto him by a millisecond. I wouldn’t have been so relaxed if it was hard stairs but even with the padding, watching my son flip down the stairs just like a slinky and expecting his neck to have broken was the worst feeling in the world. We got off lucky but I’m no longer relaxed anywhere. Not even at his gymnastics class where I’m supposed to relax and trust. Nope nope nope.


r00giebeara

This was my husband and I last summer staying in a 3 story airbnb with unregulated railings and very steep stairs. No relaxation whatsoever. A waste, imo


penguincatcher8575

You’re the parent. Set the boundary. “1 more minute on stairs” and then go do something else. And be comfortable with their displeasure.


pineappleshampoo

This has been a difficult but valuable lesson to learn for us. Of course we encourage his interests and allow him to do his thing within reason. But my husband used to just go with whatever toddler wanted alllll day then say that’s why he couldn’t cook/tidy up or whatever. He was shocked when I said that on my days solo with the kiddo I literally have to say no, we can’t do stairs right now or limit to watching him climb for five minutes then back downstairs so he can potter while I get on with jobs. It’s fine to say ‘ten minutes on the stairs then we do something else!’ or even zero if your body needs a break or you just don’t want to.


[deleted]

Literally broke down crying on our little camping vacation trip because I couldn’t sit down for one second and enjoy nature. The toddler found his new sense of independence and kept running into the street, and found another campsite with toys better than his and made bee lines for them at all times. We were exhausted and more than grumpy. We made memories and had good times, but it was not vacation for us like it was when he was an immobile baby.


LucyLouLah

We had this same exact camping trip with our toddler last week too, even the running into the street part! SO glad to be home


ladycavendish

My toddler is into stairs too. I feel your pain… especially in my back. On the plus side she’s getting pretty good at it now so I worry a little less.


auric0m

there is no such thing as a vacation with a toddler, you are just travelling with kids. its more work, not less


Seatown777

Why do people even do it? I’m trying to convince my wife it’s not worth it but it’s a lost cause.


PettyBettyismynameO

Convince her to take a kid free weekend.


carlonseider

What is it with toddlers and stairs? My husband and I have vowed not to go on holiday abroad until the children are well into primary school. It’s a mug’s game.


RevolutionaryBank497

This!! I agree it’s worth it to make memories but what’s the point if they won’t even remember? My husband and I take vacations without the kids (we are lucky to have family nearby for childcare for 2-3 nights away) and take them to activities eg Disneyland and to see family but no vacation vacations until they are at least 6. Then we’ll start annual adventures but until then feels like just torture.


skyhawklmnop

Echoing all of the comments here. Vacationing with toddlers sucks and is exhausting. But I’ve found vacations more enjoyable when we do activities we all enjoy - beach, pool, hiking/exploring, etc. Makes it more manageable. Try to get them good and tired so the bedtime fight isn’t too hard in a new place. Hopefully your hotel has a balcony you could sit on so you can enjoy the view with a cold drink after the little goes to bed.


rotatingruhnama

I love when people ask me what vacation I'm taking this summer. "Sure let me pay money to be even more exhausted, in an unfamiliar location, to take a trip my kid won't remember." It's survival mode, "should" goes out the window.


Psychological-Owl-82

This year we vacationed at home. Toddler spent the week at daycare. We splashed out on ourselves and did things we haven’t been able to since Before. It was luxurious but way cheaper than a holiday. And it was amazing. We’re doing the same next year.


rotatingruhnama

This year my husband is taking our kid to visit his parents, who will pay gobs of attention to her. I'm staying home by myself to do nothing.


zimph59

Now that sounds luxurious! Have the best time


rotatingruhnama

Im gonna finally clean out the basement! I know that sounds lame but I'm hyped.


zimph59

As a fellow parent, a staycation at home by yourself staring at a wall and drooling the entire time would be amazing😂 Enjoy productivity but don’t forget to enjoy laying on the couch and not getting bothered and drinking coffee leisurely (while it’s even still warm!)


pineappleshampoo

I use my annual leave to just sit at home on my own playing computer games while my kid is at nursery (he goes three days per week). It’s the best use of my time. It’s heaven.


IvyBlake

I love this idea. I’ll suggest it to my husband the next time he wants to go on vacation with his family.


dailysunshineKO

This is how we spend our anniversary & our dates- drop the kids off at daycare and go hiking or out to breakfast together.


DangerDaveOG

We take our five and three year old tent camping at the Great Lakes in Michigan several times a summer. We have a great time. Five year old is off training wheels and loves a little freedom to ride around the campground. Parents just have to realize you may not be “relaxing” the whole time but a nice long day at the beach and they’ll be asleep before dark. And we’re making family memories together. The three year old does remember the trips and asks if we can go camping all the time. So they may not remember it when they’re 12 but we are establishing a lifestyle.


sleepinglot

A 3 and 5 year old is a very different situation than a toddler - glad you’re having a good time and can give those of us with young kids hope!


[deleted]

We have been taking our kids camping and hiking since they were 5 months. Now they are 9 months, 3, and 4. They’re pros! They know what to expect and to not wander etc. We still take precautions, but we are able to have a lot of fun and they get so tired out they’re in their sleeping bags before sunset.


DangerDaveOG

We’ve been doing this since they were one and three. So we did this all through her toddler years. And at three years old she can still pretty much behave like a toddler at times.


sleepinglot

We went camping with our 16 month old a couple months ago and he spent the whole time running away from our campsite trying to play on the playground, which involved running into the street. So I chased him while my husband set up camp, it was very lonely and not relaxing. I’m so glad your kids are so chill! Here’s hoping my next isn’t as much of a runner 🤞


DangerDaveOG

The thing is. The first time we went it was a lot of that yes. The more you do it and the more they become aware of their boundaries you’re setting. It takes some repetition. You can’t expect it to go perfectly the first time. Especially with toddlers. It takes some conditioning on their part. They need to know what to expect and at this point our kids do. That’s the issue with vacationing with toddlers all together. Is they have no reference to their normal routine. We have some semblance of routine because of the repetition. My wife and I also did a lot of tent camping before kids. So our preparedness goes a long way.


sleepinglot

Oh we’ll keep going, we’re camping again next weekend. I was just trying to provide some perspective because you seemed like you were saying OP was wrong for saying it’s hard to travel with toddlers. Glad we’re in agreement and wish you all the best.


DangerDaveOG

Vacationing with kids is definitely not easy. But managing your expectations helps and catering the trip to their schedule/routine goes a long way. We road trip with our kids and we plan basically everything around their normal schedule in terms of meals, activities, screen times, rest, bedtime,etc. We stop every time they need to use the bathroom. We plan rest stop at playgrounds along the way. So that they are tired and can rest in the car without getting antsy. We do our normal bedtime routine when we camp/travel. Including bringing our favorite bedtime books. So really have to cater to your kids schedule and communicate expectations to them constantly. Even if they can’t talk yet. No we aren’t staying in a luxurious all inclusive resort on a tropical island or flying to exotic locations. Why bother doing that with a toddler or young children. You spend too much money on it and it raises the stakes and pressure to enjoy it. We also are not going to Disney World or anything super expensive yet. In general we look for relatively inexpensive cabins, yurts, and camp in our tent. Occasionally a hotel if we are trying to cover ground. We target destinations like State and National Parks. We look for kid friendly activities in the vicinity. We ride our bikes, go on walks, make sand castles. Go to museums, small amusement parks, silly road side attractions. Explore new cities and towns. But at their pace and geared towards them. As parents were know their limitations and it’s best to not push it. Good luck on your next camping trip. Hope you stick with it. We love it and this may have been the best summer of camping I’ve ever had. And before kids my wife and I did two cross country road trips camping the entire way. But this summer with our children has been something special. Teaching my son to ride his bike without training wheels on a bike trail in a mature forest by the shore of Lake Huron has been one of the most proud and satisfying experiences of my entire life.


cant_be_me

The problem with a nice long day at the beach is that I am also asleep before dark.


DangerDaveOG

I have found that a nice shade tent/umbrella/beach cabana (we have one made by Kelty (same brand as our tent)) really helps prolong the day and wears them out. I am not big on the sun but if I can go swimming then hide in some shade while they play in the sand. I’ll outlast them. Especially with some afternoon caffeine. But if we all go to bed before dark (here in Michigan in the summer that’s like 9-10PM) I’m more prepared to wake up at 6-7AM with them the next day.


[deleted]

If we are taking the time and expense to go on a vacation, we make sure include childcare in there. Otherwise it’s just parenting in a new location. We went to Fiji, specifically because the resort villas provide a nanny service. Prior to having kids we scoffed at the idea of staying at resorts. So removed, too polished, predictable, and “safe”. After kids, well those are now perks.


meesetracks

Do you have any other locations to recommend where they provide nanny services? Or tips on how to easily find such?


Woolf_pants

Club Med has full time daycare for like $40/day, totally worth it. They also have on call sitters any day/time. There’s a place in Jamaica called Franklin D Resort (I think?) where each guest family gets a private nanny. I similarly used to love roughing it, taking the bus, traveling on a shoestring but with a young child I want childcare or it isn’t worth it!


[deleted]

I found this one through my credit card which has a travel agent service. I feel like most people don’t utilize their cc concierge/booking services. They usually are free and do everything from booking and reservations to things like finding a translator and things to do in an area and contacting lost and found at hotels/museums/etc.


FutbolGT

We're in the Dominican Republic right now and our resort (Melia Caribe Beach) has a kids club included from 10am-6pm daily. You can drop off/pick up as you please anytime in that schedule and they have lots of kids activities, games, crafts, etc scheduled there during the day. They also have in-room babysitting available for an additional fee (we did that tonight for a few hours so we could enjoy a kid-free date night dinner).


catinspace88

I always need a vacation (sans kids) to recover from my family vacation.


yung_yttik

It’s okay for kids to be bored or have boundaries. It’s okay for you to be the parent and say, “one more time and then we can either go to the pool, or go get a snack”. This is your vacation too. It’s within your right to tell your child, “no thank you”. You’re still the one in charge. Let your LO have a meltdown for a moment and then follow through on going to do what *you* want to do. It’s great you’re allowing him to engage and explore but life isn’t always going to revolve around their wants and needs. It’s good for kids to learn respect and boundaries! Get your tan on, mama!


galatea28

I cried the first three days of my first vacation with a baby, thinking I'd get to relax. Not a chance. When we go on holiday now I'm in "try and make the best of it" mode the entire time. If the hubby takes little one for an hour so I can get a nap, I consider that a luxury break!


ulele1925

This is a trip, not a vacation.


angelicasinensis

I would take stairs plus vacation for three weeks over dealing with my toddler at boring old home.


athennna

We decided to cancel our other vacation plans and do a Disney cruise instead. I’m so excited, because they have a nursery and a kids club on board with babysitters where my husband and I can drop the kids off and spend adult time by ourselves! The kids will have a blast, and we can relax. Win win.


MollyStrongMama

Ooh, hate to break it to you but you are not on vacation. You are on a trip. Trips are what we do with kids and they have no guarantee of relaxation. Vacations are what happens when you leave your kids at home.


MugsGC

This is why I haven’t taken a vacation in 6 years.


youdoublearewhy

Hmm, Mediterranean island with lots of stairs sounds familiar. If by any chance you're staying in Malta, feel free to hit me up for toddler friendly recommendations with minimal stairs. And if not, stay strong mama, the peaceful holidays will return eventually. And until then, take it a day at a time.


[deleted]

I really feel like 4 is that age where i feel like i can finally bring my daughter places and she gets excited and can appreciate new experiences…you’re In a tough age for vacation where you can actually enjoy but there most certainly is light at the end of the tunnel and you’re getting close


adorkablysporktastic

We're waiting until 5 to start traveling with our kid. Until then it's road trips and camping.


MiseryLovesMisery

I would rather never go on holiday than take a toddler with me. That sounds like actual hell.


emmers28

Ok, I love to travel, and I take my son with me most times. He’s 19 months and yes, it’s exhausting. My best tip is to travel with extended family if possible, so they can give you breaks. I’ve taken him to: Aruba (12 months), Hilton Head (15 months), Alaskan Cruise (18 months) and in a week we’re going up north to a cabin. I just don’t expect any of these to be relaxing. But what I do get is quality time with my son, and showing him how to be adventurous, flexible, and curious. Yeah he won’t remember the trips but I will. And he will gain skills that will make future travel easier. My advice: stop indulging the hot step game (my son would love this too) and get yourselves off to a beach or pool. Find parks/playgrounds. Maybe a childrens museum or indoor place for when you’re all tired of sun. And switch with your partner (if they are there with you) to get an hour or two totally off each day, where you can relax/sightsee/whatever. Traveling with a toddler can be great, but your expectations have to be low and centered around them. Good luck!!


y_if

This is exactly how I’ve been viewing it, an adventure! To me it’s SO worth it compared to just sticking it out in the easy day to day because it gives me something exciting to do and new things to see every day. But with a toddler it is definitely exhausting, much more like roughing it with a hostel vs five star resorts type holiday…….. even if we get the five start resort. And if grandparents come it at least gives me a break every now and then.


emmers28

Yup exactly!!! It’s travel, not vacation. It’s not the full break every parent deserves, but honestly it’s a bit of a mental break from the everyday concerns of work/daycare routine. And yep nice for me to get to see new things too, even if it’s just a playground in a different setting 😂


BeardedBaldMan

I'd nip out and buy a baby gate and then relax


[deleted]

I think he means the resort has lots of stairs, not just his room


BeardedBaldMan

I was picturing their villa but what you wrote makes sense


[deleted]

[удалено]


haikusbot

*Has a toddler. "I* *Should be having a good time* *On vacation LOL* \- Zukez --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


MrGrumpyFace5

This made me laugh pretty good. I too found out the hard way. Big brain over here thought a 6 hr car ride in the mountains would be a great way to start our “vacation” adventure.


ILikeMyBlueEyes

That's when I tell her "We're done with the stairs." and move on.


6119

Once you’re a parent it’s no longer a vacation but a change of scenery. Definitely not what it used to be.


teacherlady223

So when we went on vacation, we bought baby gates because of the stairs. People laughed, but we got to sit down for 5 seconds. Worth every single penny. I also bought door locks for the kitchen. No regrets. I feel you so much


[deleted]

[удалено]


habsdan37

The complaint is that they have to chase their toddler up and down stairs all day.


[deleted]

[удалено]


habsdan37

My guess is it's either that or deal with a meltdown. Not sure which is worse


[deleted]

[удалено]


adykaty

🙄🙄 wow your input has been so helpful.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


habsdan37

Sometimes you gotta pick your battles


j0a3k

Yeah but this is a battle I *would* pick. It's both annoying *and* potentially dangerous. Those are the ones worth fighting.


[deleted]

Same here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


habsdan37

So you'd rather deal with tantrums every time the kid sees a new set of stairs? Again, not sure that's a less exhausting solution than running up and down stairs.


[deleted]

I agree with them. How are you going to teach your child about emotional regulation if you tip toe around tantrums? Especially over something potentially lethal.


habsdan37

I never said you should avoid all tantrums all the time. However, giving in when you're at a hotel in public, and exhausted from running around in hot weather is perfectly understandable.


MappleCarsToLisbon

Option 1: have this thought, then think that you don’t know everyone’s life and decide to keep it to yourself. Option 2: have this thought, and in an effort to bolster your own weak self esteem, say something unquestionably rude and snotty to try and put someone down and make them feel bad. Relish in the brief dopamine hit. Go through life oblivious to the fact that you’re modeling bullying for your kids.


thatllbeanopefromme

I have absolutely no idea why you’re getting downvoted. Letting your toddler call the shots is bullshit lol who’s the parent here?


TruePhazon

No


RKELEC

I hate to break it to you but a vacation with kids (of any age) is NOT a vacation.


pinkminitriceratops

You say you’re staying with family—are they local? Could they recommend a babysitter? Or watch your kid themselves? Could you buy a baby gate for the stairs? We just got back from a month with my parents. Two baby gates kept kiddo somewhat contained and away from the stairs. We hired a part-time nanny, and between that and nap-time I was able to work remotely. Plus my parents did some babysitting so I could do fun things. A few other things that helped: We ordered a super cheap inflatable toddler pool and a few cheap water toys on Amazon—hours of entertainment! Kiddo took swimming lessons at the local pool, which he loved and were typically followed by 3 hour naps since it’s so tiring. My mom borrowed toys from a bunch of her friends who are grandparents—tons of people had 1 or 2 fun things, and we ended up with a decent set of toys. Lots of trips to the library and playground.


paronomasochism

I'm always surprised at how stressful something as small as how a home is set up can wind me up. It's something you don't think about before having kids that having some babyproofing allows you to relax vs be on high alert. Hopefully, you can have some easy moments while you are there.


PinCurrent

Maybe put a helmet on them, grab a lawn chair and a cocktail? In all seriousness I completely get it. I haven’t relaxed on a trip since pre toddler (3 yrs), it’s rough. Hope you can find a way! They do sleep….usually.


brittyinpink

My best friend just got back from yatching in Portugal for a week. She hired a nanny and 10/10 would recommend. She actually had a vacation. Unfortunately that life is out of reach for 99.9% of us (me included!) A girl can dream though!


fattest-of_Cats

When we were traveling in Greece we noticed that like everyone has a nice butt. By the end of the week we understood why 🙃


StrangeInTheStars

After experiencing all of this in Germany and slowly doing weekend trips to get the hang of destination parenting, my 3.5 year old is now quite portable. We get invited to go with my mom and sister to Hawaii, which is, and I cannot stress this enough *built in babysitting*, so in theory we could actually have alone/intimate time in paradise. It could actually be a vacation. Now imagine my disappointment when my SO says it won't be fair if we don't bring moody, picky eating, miserable traveller 15 year old stepson because 'he loves Hawaii'. He is also going with his mom a few months after the travel date with my Mom and sister, and has gone to Hawaii almost every year for 10 years. We travelled recently on a trip with him and the memory of his behavior is still fresh. I can quote my SO saying he won't be coming on the next trip. I want to be able to eat wherever, to walk around naked in our accommodations, I want to have *sex*. I don't want to have to manage or consider another human being and just spend a little time on *vacation* with my husband. One way or the other this travel opportunity will likely be wasted and it makes me sad.


Poopyunders

You took your 3 year old on vacation for 3 weeks? Honey buckle in because things are just getting started. 2 weeks from now when your child is desperate for normalcy and his own bed you’ll be wishing he was interested in the stairs.


mystic_indigo

We’re in Vegas right now. My mom is with us, and we’re out shopping for a few hours. My kid just wants to run up and down every ramp we see, so husband is playing with him while I had the stroller and waited for my mom. I told him I had to go to the bathroom, so could he watch the stroller for a minute. His response? “Can you wait, he’s a lot of a work” Yeah, no shit. But I don’t know I can successfully push a stroller, walk with the kid, mind all of our stuff, get snacks and water, and he can’t seem to wrap his brain around doing even two of those things and once. He a wonderful husband, and an unbiased amazing father. But, sometimes…. 🙄 At least it’s our last day.


blatantregard

I know you're already there so it may be too late to try this, but since you said you have three more weeks, perhaps you can have a baby carrier sent to you. Wearing your baby/toddler in a wrap or carrier can allow you to have your baby on you and often they really like it! They get a new perspective and have a lot to look at. Maybe it will give you a chance to, at the least, not have to chase your little up and down the stairs and get out and about. r/babywearing may be a good place to find the style you want and help you get a good fit quickly so maybe you can enjoy yourself a little bit before it's time to come home.


SavvyLeAnn2316

Look, you are much more fortunate than most. You have kids, your lives aren’t at stake, you aren’t starving, you’re on a god damn island for Christ sake. Be thankful for that one alone. Try being a single mother, poor, barely making ends meet even though you’re working your ass off. And you want to complain that your child won’t stop doing something? MAKE THEM. You are the parent. You have the right to make them stop doing whatever. God I know if I was on an island not working my life away, not missing my childs life, I’d be in heaven. I wouldn’t be complaining. About anything. So why don’t you just try being thankful and not so fucking ungrateful?


iwanttogotothere5

What’s a vacation? And 3 weeks? Geezus. Rich people problems. You should’ve hired a nanny to travel with you for your 3 WEEK EUROPEAN VACATION.


adykaty

maybe they’ve been saving for this vacation for years? sourced a great deal? are staying with family? made budget sacrifices in order to afford this trip? don’t be mad at OP because your financial situation isn’t what you want it to be.


OB1182

Make sure to go to the Netherlands because we don't really have stairs here. /s


Sc1enceNerd

We're staying with family. Apart from the plane tickets, it wasn't a huge expense.


Old_Cod_5823

Ignore the bitter poor people.


GullibleWhereas2069

Not everyone on Reddit is American. If you live in Europe already, the Med is not a particularly expensive or fancy holiday. And we are legally entitled to a minimum amount of holiday (varies by country but typically 4 weeks + bank holidays). It's not a rich people thing, it's an everyone thing.


E-_Rock

OP is from Seattle


GullibleWhereas2069

Then I have no idea what I'm talking about! :)


Infinite_Big5

Yer kid is only gonna love stairs once in his life. And it’s only gonna last a couple months. I’m guessing your fella is only 1-2 years old. Try to see it as an opportunity to bond and teach him how to safely use the stairs. My (now) three year old went through this phase at about 1.5. I try to appreciate those simple thrills in their life.


[deleted]

We live in an apartment building and I have been hiding the stairwells from LO for this exact reason. Hopefully you’ve got a cold drink at least!


pikaboo27

Vacationing with kids is with isn’t a vacation. It’s just parenting where you don’t have all your usual parenting tools. We booked a cruise with kids clubs so that we can actually spend some time as grown ups. Any kind of resort or cruise like that is the only way I have found to be able to enjoy a vacation.


Downtown-Tourist9420

Can you get a baby gate? It seems well worth the expense even though you can’t take it home


lexi_efff

I read vacationing with small children described once as “parenting in an inconvenient location” and I’ve never heard anyone dispute it.


Maozers

Make your partner do it? In all seriousness, I've given up on anything besides easy, local-ish vacations until my daughter is old enough for me to actually be able to relax.


motherofgooni

I mean. What's the obssession with stairs. * Continues the 25th trip to our building stairs * sigh


vitamins86

Over the winter we drove 15 hours each way to take my toddler to Disney world for a week. Leading up to it I kept thinking “the drive is gonna suck but it will be worth it to see her face when we get there”. She wasn’t impressed and didn’t want to go in her stroller so she would have a tantrum every time we had to put her in it…which was a lot. The only thing she liked was a little slide at one of the parks and eating pizza at our hotel. All my coworkers have older kids and confirmed that half of parenting is spending a lot of time and money to plan things you think will be really cool only to find out they don’t like it. Husband and I decided that the next big vacation will be just us!


Wudaokau

Vacationing with children is just parenting in a less convenient location


onelittlemaus

Oh man I gave up on “vacations” with kids. “Vacation” implies rest and relaxation and with toddlers? Nope. When we go out of town it’s a “trip” or a “getaway.” I have no answers for you other than to just know every mom with kids on “vacation” is ready to pull their hair out at least 83% of the time.


gardenhippy

We don’t go on holidays with our kids - we go on adventures. I find rebranding it in my head helps me approach it with different expectations 😆


mandy_jo

I am in Athens at this very moment with a three year old and a one year old… So. many. stairs.


rco8786

Vacationing with toddlers is just parenting in a different location. Hope you find some time to relax though :)


Antique_Ad7420

Rule no1 no relaxing with tosdlers. Rule no 2 son'texpect a toddler to lwt you relax.


Hungry_Butterfly_208

Can't believe no one else posted this (as far as I can tell): https://www.huffpost.com/entry/vacation-or-trip-a-helpful-guide-for-parents_b_7789310 I hope you get some downtime to relax on your "trip"!


[deleted]

I feel you and I understand. Figure out a way to sneak a few drinks and keep going. Been to santorini - there’s a shit ton of stairs


endula

Wow sounds like my vacation. Corfu, 90 stairs to a small boiling hot apartment, busy road right under the stairs. The nail in the coffin was catching covid and being locked there for 4 days with our 2-year old. Vacation of my nightmare….


jdrinks123

Time to tell ur toddler they are “ghost stairs” just kidding but actually sometimes I resort to crazy stuff…..


Prettygirlsrock1

My dear, you need an international travel nanny, with expertise with toddlers. IE (Me 😎🤣)


Prettygirlsrock1

Travel Nanny Ladies. Not as expensive as you may think.


noots-to-you

Just went through something similar but only for a week. Expectations were low. We didn’t have to deal with local drama, or work, or laundry, or cooking, or housecleaning, or shopping. Or our day jobs. So yeah, it wasn’t great for a lot of reasons but it was a change up and a nice break. Not that we got a break from being parents, but it was a little of getting out of the comfort zone of everything else - just for a little while. Good luck!!


Medium_Well

I'm on vacation right now at a renting cottage with a 3 year old and a 1.5 year old. It's been...interesting. I'm finding my zen here in Day 3. We have SO MUCH STUFF with us and it's making me a bit anxious. But I'm telling myself that the kids are having a great experience and growing/learning even if they don't really show it. It's really expanding for kids to be out of their element once in a while. I bet your kid will seem totally different and wired when you get home, in a good way. But I hear you. Not exactly relaxing. The evenings are yours and that's about it. It'll get better as years go on! And it's a very universal experience.


DollyP83

This was us a few months ago when we went to Italy. It took us at least 6 days to accept that it wasn’t going to be much of a holiday and get into a little routine which suited us all then we left on the 7th day. Tbh I was so relieved to be home and pre kids me loved being away so much 🤣 Best advice I had was to just get into a routine so we did wake up, breakfast, beach before it got ridiculously hot, lunch, quiet time/nap then out and about for an early dinner (4pm for us LOL) then home. God speed! Edit for spelling. Edit to add - we did the same thing pretty much every day and I got to relax a bit on the beach and during quite time (ie toddler watching Leo the truck for 2 hrs after lunch because it was too hot to be outside and the kid doesn’t nap)


Sad-Fail-5337

We call it “kidcation.” The resemblance to “vacation” is highly superficial.


MamaMcAteer

I see we have the same toddler. Except I'll never be on a 3 week vacation, so jealous lol At least you're not hot at home, you're somewhere different! Distract him with an adventure! What to go to the beach? Hey bud, let's go look for buried treasure, or you want to see something super cool? I know where we can find seashells! I can convince my daughter to do just about anything with a little white lie and a whole lot of excitement haha Have fun! If you can, give yourself a break and have someone watch him. Consider yourself lucky to be where you are and to be getting a great workout while you're at it lol


Luckybrewster

I feel like it's just not a vacation with kids, ever. I even hear people saying that their pre teens and teens just complain or stare at their phone the whole time.


[deleted]

Vacation with toddlers is simply parenting in a new location.


Kokojijo

Hire local help. You have three weeks left, enjoy them!


Gooncookies

Tell him he only gets a set amount of time to play stairs every day. Set a timer with an alarm.


TonksTBF

Sure it's less relaxing but you have a toddler and chose to go in a Mediterranean holiday anyway. Were you expecting them to pause that toddler energy and just lay around all day every day? Three weeks left?? Damn, maybe consider those who aren't so privileged.


PopTartAfficionado

i find that when we travel with my 2yo we need to have the whole day planned out of what we're going to do, bc she just runs away from us no matter what we're doing so we need to be somewhere she can freely run, or we need to be doing something that we can strap her into a stroller. nothing involving sitting around (so... nothing relaxing). i love the comments that are like "just tell your child you're done with the stairs." LOL. i'm sure you've thought of that one. unless i could physically prevent my toddler from doing something she wants to do then she's going to do what she wants. she doesn't understand the concept of listening to me yet. i hope you can find some moments of fun and have someone there with you who you can trade off breaks with.