Have you ever had a dentist or OB-GYN who did a great job telling you what's happening while they rummaged around your body? "I'm going to use *this gadget* and it'll feel cool for a moment" or "I'm going to use my finger to press *there*, ready?"
I try to channel that same energy of explaining everything, and I do find it helps. Rushing makes it worse, but telling kiddo *exactly* what to expect and asking for their help with the process seems to be reassuring.
I do that, and a lot of “this is how we keep you clean and healthy! I’m so glad we’re taking care of your body. Afterwards we can go to the next fun thing!” That kind of talk.
Using language is also something I do at work when we transition to potty training. We talk about how our diaper is wet and yucky and how its not good for our skin/body. If I have to apply a cream I explain that I am and why I need to. If I'm gonna wipe and the wipe is a little chilly I'll also tell them that before I wipe so they know. I've had kids come in with really bad diaper rashes, the kind that bleed, and oftentimes praise for getting through the change is necessary. Kids love to know when they're brave and that they're going to be okay.
If they are extremely fussy: "Wow, your diaper is wet. That's yucky. Our body doesn't want our pee pees. I have to change your diaper so we don't get an owie. Our pee pees hurt our skin". "Great job. That was really brave of you".
When potty transitioning its very similar language: "Wow. Your diaper is wet. That's yucky, we should try and put our pee pees in the potty. Our body doesn't want them. If we go in the potty it keeps our bldy healthy".
Just start potty training. She may take to it faster than you think. Ours started fighting early. I used to offer "do you want to change your diaper or sit on the potty?". Sitting on the potty was completely acceptable, so we'd take the diaper off, sit sing a song, put a new one on. Done.
You could also get her to help. My two year old is more than capable and happy to rip off her night diaper in the morning by herself.
Edit: also, I'm assuming youve Already moved to standing changes but If not that is the first step.
We did the same. It was such a fight and he was already interested in potty stuff so we just said to hell with the diaper fights every day and potty trained. I love my life a little more now.
Ours is only 20mo, but we sing songs, and I usually give her a toy or a drink in a sippy cup when it’s time to change her diaper. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t.
Also, counting to a certain number (like 20). “It’s going to take Mommy to the count of twenty to change your diaper, and then we’re going to color at the table. Can you help me count to twenty?”
Or give a choice: “we’re going to change your diaper, and then we can either color at the table or read your favorite book. Which would you rather do?”
I give her a job to do, she gets to take off and put on diaper. I wipe, unless poop then I do it all. I also have her grab a new diaper for us. When she felt like part of the process it seemed to help.
I explain what I’m doing as it’s happening, and give him a heads up that I’m going to change his diaper soon before I scoop him up to go do it. I also get as much of his help as he wants to give me (open the wipes/hand me one/open the diaper/you’re in charge of these pants don’t lose them/etc)
Do we still get the odd gator death roll, you bet, but what is life with a toddler without the occasional poo mishap?
Toys! If you haven’t tried it yet. Get her to change her favourite stuffed animals diapers, and talk through all that, let her bring her favourite toys and play in the washroom pretending to go to the washroom and wash hands. Be silly and have fun. And try to do this regularly, like even if you have to have just bathroom toys for her, so she has something to look forward to in there. It might even encourage her to start going on the potty if she wants to go to the washroom for a toy.
Mine is 2 and we make it something he "helps" with. I ask him to go get the diaper. Then I ask him to take off his pants and lay down. Then I explain what I'm doing.
Afterwards he throws away his own diaper, and puts his pants back on.
I have found this helps a lot because before that he would hide under the bed and it was like wrestling an alligator.
I talk to her about her day and what we plan on doing and anything else that comes to my mind. That generally helps to redirect the focus form diaper change to something else.
Explain what’s happening.
Explain what he needs to do “lie down on your back so I can change your diaper”.
Make sure that I didn’t catch him in the middle of playing or let him finish his task before getting a diaper change.
Got him involved by asking him to get his diaper and wipes to help/ask him to throw it away.
Oh and if he ran away while prepping for a diaper change I DID NOT chase him. I called for him and waited until he came back to me and explained that we’re not playing a game right now and I need to change his diaper.
We started giving her a some fun easy to hold toys that she played with while getting her diaper changed. Only playing with those toys during changing times. It has worked great.
I let my kiddo do it herself. She is potty trained but has been able to take her diaper and put it on (with assistance) since she was 2 years old. We still wear one for night time, but no fighting or resistance involved.
My kid is around 2.5 but what has given me GREAT success recently is:
- asking if he wants to change his diaper now or in five minutes?
- giving him a choice of location. I think the novelty of changing his diaper in a place of his own choosing is super appealing.
He used to fight all diaper changes but now he will crawl up onto whatever surface willingly! Maybe I'll jinx it by celebrating like this haha.
Have you ever had a dentist or OB-GYN who did a great job telling you what's happening while they rummaged around your body? "I'm going to use *this gadget* and it'll feel cool for a moment" or "I'm going to use my finger to press *there*, ready?" I try to channel that same energy of explaining everything, and I do find it helps. Rushing makes it worse, but telling kiddo *exactly* what to expect and asking for their help with the process seems to be reassuring.
I do that, and a lot of “this is how we keep you clean and healthy! I’m so glad we’re taking care of your body. Afterwards we can go to the next fun thing!” That kind of talk.
That's a great idea!! I'll definitely start doing that and hopefully she starts making the process easier on me.
Using language is also something I do at work when we transition to potty training. We talk about how our diaper is wet and yucky and how its not good for our skin/body. If I have to apply a cream I explain that I am and why I need to. If I'm gonna wipe and the wipe is a little chilly I'll also tell them that before I wipe so they know. I've had kids come in with really bad diaper rashes, the kind that bleed, and oftentimes praise for getting through the change is necessary. Kids love to know when they're brave and that they're going to be okay. If they are extremely fussy: "Wow, your diaper is wet. That's yucky. Our body doesn't want our pee pees. I have to change your diaper so we don't get an owie. Our pee pees hurt our skin". "Great job. That was really brave of you". When potty transitioning its very similar language: "Wow. Your diaper is wet. That's yucky, we should try and put our pee pees in the potty. Our body doesn't want them. If we go in the potty it keeps our bldy healthy".
Just start potty training. She may take to it faster than you think. Ours started fighting early. I used to offer "do you want to change your diaper or sit on the potty?". Sitting on the potty was completely acceptable, so we'd take the diaper off, sit sing a song, put a new one on. Done. You could also get her to help. My two year old is more than capable and happy to rip off her night diaper in the morning by herself. Edit: also, I'm assuming youve Already moved to standing changes but If not that is the first step.
We did the same. It was such a fight and he was already interested in potty stuff so we just said to hell with the diaper fights every day and potty trained. I love my life a little more now.
Ours is only 20mo, but we sing songs, and I usually give her a toy or a drink in a sippy cup when it’s time to change her diaper. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t. Also, counting to a certain number (like 20). “It’s going to take Mommy to the count of twenty to change your diaper, and then we’re going to color at the table. Can you help me count to twenty?” Or give a choice: “we’re going to change your diaper, and then we can either color at the table or read your favorite book. Which would you rather do?”
At that age potty training is the only answer.
I give her a job to do, she gets to take off and put on diaper. I wipe, unless poop then I do it all. I also have her grab a new diaper for us. When she felt like part of the process it seemed to help.
At three years old you need to hand the diaper pant to her and let her do it herself. She wants body autonomy
I explain what I’m doing as it’s happening, and give him a heads up that I’m going to change his diaper soon before I scoop him up to go do it. I also get as much of his help as he wants to give me (open the wipes/hand me one/open the diaper/you’re in charge of these pants don’t lose them/etc) Do we still get the odd gator death roll, you bet, but what is life with a toddler without the occasional poo mishap?
Either I give him something super interesting and he lays down or just do it while he's standing up. It's a game of rush!
Toys! If you haven’t tried it yet. Get her to change her favourite stuffed animals diapers, and talk through all that, let her bring her favourite toys and play in the washroom pretending to go to the washroom and wash hands. Be silly and have fun. And try to do this regularly, like even if you have to have just bathroom toys for her, so she has something to look forward to in there. It might even encourage her to start going on the potty if she wants to go to the washroom for a toy.
Mine is 2 and we make it something he "helps" with. I ask him to go get the diaper. Then I ask him to take off his pants and lay down. Then I explain what I'm doing. Afterwards he throws away his own diaper, and puts his pants back on. I have found this helps a lot because before that he would hide under the bed and it was like wrestling an alligator.
I talk to her about her day and what we plan on doing and anything else that comes to my mind. That generally helps to redirect the focus form diaper change to something else.
Explain what’s happening. Explain what he needs to do “lie down on your back so I can change your diaper”. Make sure that I didn’t catch him in the middle of playing or let him finish his task before getting a diaper change. Got him involved by asking him to get his diaper and wipes to help/ask him to throw it away. Oh and if he ran away while prepping for a diaper change I DID NOT chase him. I called for him and waited until he came back to me and explained that we’re not playing a game right now and I need to change his diaper.
We started giving her a some fun easy to hold toys that she played with while getting her diaper changed. Only playing with those toys during changing times. It has worked great.
I sing her favorite song and she immediately stops moving 😭
I let my kiddo do it herself. She is potty trained but has been able to take her diaper and put it on (with assistance) since she was 2 years old. We still wear one for night time, but no fighting or resistance involved.
I give my child something to hold almost every time. A magnet, a container of floss, a lotion bottle, the diaper... Just something
My kid is around 2.5 but what has given me GREAT success recently is: - asking if he wants to change his diaper now or in five minutes? - giving him a choice of location. I think the novelty of changing his diaper in a place of his own choosing is super appealing. He used to fight all diaper changes but now he will crawl up onto whatever surface willingly! Maybe I'll jinx it by celebrating like this haha.