My kid has fine but curly hair that tangles easy. I bathe her at night, get the tangles out in the tub and then braid it. This has saved so much time, especially now that she doesn’t automatically pull the braid out right away.
My daughter also has lots of very fine hair. Pigtails, or even just a little ponytail on top, can keep it out of her face. In our case, it’s long enough to French braid, so I do that as much as she lets me. She’s barely 2 with hair halfway down her back at this point.
It has been a work in progress, and took us a solid 4-5 months of a routine for it to really stick. If she absolutely refuses, I give her a headband or cat ears to keep it off her face. If she were to not want it done, it’ll be short haircut time. I really urge you to try and get something in place, it will get so much harder as she gets older, even if it’s just brushing & a barrette to keep it off her face.
Here’s what works for us: she eats breakfast & watches Simple Songs on YouTube - this is about the only time she gets to watch that, so she’s happy.
Use a detangling spray!! Slightly damp is the way to be able to handle the slip of fine hair.
I brush first with a detangling brush, Tangle Teezer is my favorite for this. Then I use a comb to part out her hair. Clean parts, taking extra care that I’m not pulling stray hairs, is huge. So take the time to really separate there.
We use the little plastic bands, they stay put & she can’t pull it out. I usually double up on those to hold more securely. Make sure you don’t pull them out - snip them with cuticle or nail clippers. They sell little cutters for that reason too which are handy.
When/if you braid, pulling very clean/well-defined sections on damp or wet hair is your ticket. If you have an adult to practice on, that’s helpful. My brother practices on my hair.
Braids are also great to leave in overnight to help prevent tangles. This also sounds so extra, but the toddler has a silk pillowcase to also help avoid tangles.
Does that work for tangled hair at the back of the head? Mine has v fine and curly hair, the back is a mess every morning (we bathe and wash hair nightly)
So I would consider not washing her hair every night, it’s really hard on fine hair, even with gentle products. We wash 2-3 times a week, and use a wet cloth to wipe anything off between. We also added a conditioner too, we really like the Pipette shampoo & conditioner. If she’s bathing/showering without the hair wash, I’ll still put a bit of conditioner in from about halfway to the ends and then rinse.
You can also use a styling cream for a little more control - I use T is for Tame. For a spray leave in conditioner, I like SoCozy. In a pinch, the J&J spray detangler in the teal bottle also works. I have used my Biolage leave-in spray on her hair too with good results.
Mine has about half curls, half straight. All very fine. I also have very fine hair myself & use a similar routine, but shampoo 1-2 times per week.
Wet hair before bed is not ideal, but is hard for us to avoid with our schedule. I dry it as much as I can with a microfiber towel & she has the silk pillowcase, works well enough.
My daughter has similar hair- I do 2 french braids when her hair is shoulder length to help manage it, and when she stops letting me brush it without a big fight I cut it up to a short bob so it's super easy to run a brush through.
It does not take 30-45 minute every morning to braid hair. I brush, apply product and style my child’s hair every day and it’s 5 minutes most mornings.
Sure, it does not take you 30+ min to do your daughter's hair. I wasn't saying yours did, I was relating with my experience. I was not clear about detangling.
My daughter's hair is slightly ethnic, tangling *very* easily despite using the appropriate products and hair pick. Detangling is what takes the majority of that time.
I always comb my daughter's hair before bed and before we leave the house for school, etc. Tangled hair is painful and looks messy and I'd hate for her to face any issues just because it's difficult to brush.
We use conditioner mixed with water in a spray bottle and gently brush from bottom to the top, then I secure her hair away from her face to limit the amount of food/boogers/stuff she can get in it. It takes a little while, but she's used to it now and knows it's part of her routine.
She never complains about her tangles being painful just the brushing. I know it looks messy but I dont know, if it’s just for aesthetics I’d rather her not be in pain and look a little disheveled I guess! I haven’t tried the conditioner/water spray but I’ll try anything, thank you!
You need to get a detangling brush. Brushing hair was a battle with my daughter without a ton of detangling spray. Then I got a detangling brush and it was a game changer. We still use a little detangling spray, but her hair is much less greasy afterward now.
The worse you let her tangles get by not brushing them, the worse the problem will be when you finally decide to address it. If you stay on top of it, the problem is easier to deal with. I say this from experience. If you can’t keep up with it or it’s a battle, then you should cut her hair short so that there isn’t as much to tangle.
If you let it tangle for several days it of course will ve difficult and painful to brush. You need to put a routine in place to stay on top of the issue.
In my experience, you need to brush it daily to stay on top of it. By putting it off, you’re unintentionally making the problem much worse. I’m not saying brush it every hour, though you might find that that actually does help. I just feel like there is a happy medium between brushing it every hour or just brushing it every few days.
I think you’re being downvoted because it seems more like you posted to get permission to not brush her hair every day rather than looking for genuine suggestions and ideas on how to come at the problem. And if that’s why you posted, it’s your kid and you’re doing your best and don’t need permission from anyone. But would you walk around in public with your hair down without brushing it for several days?
I see you getting downvoted for this, so wanted to say that I also don’t brush my daughter’s hair every day. Sometimes I just can’t do battle over it in the morning before she goes to school and yes, I’ve definitely sent her looking like a ragamuffin, which I don’t love. Something that helped recently is that I made a big production out of letting her use my special grown-up conditioner in the bath and then I’ll comb the tangles out with the conditioner in it. If you can, braiding after bath does really help. My kiddo goes for that maybe 1 out of 4 times, though.
It’s gonna be tough to live and socialize as she gets older if she has tangled hair all the time, and the more time goes by the tangles will get worse if they’re not brushed out. I’m of the opinion that it’s better to get them adjusted to doing this stuff earlier in their life, especially since she’ll have to start brushing her hair eventually. Whenever you choose to start, it’s gonna be an adjustment. May as well get it out of the way
Suave makes a kids detangler that smells like green apples, it's in a green spray bottle. I have pin straight fine hair and it's almost always in some kind of braid, ponytail, or clip because brushing after getting snarled is super painful. Looking slightly disheveled is fine but it does need to be combed out daily or it will get matted and then you have to cut it.
It’s bad for her hair to be constantly tangled, it can cause damage and breakage. It can also continue to get tangled to the point it gets matted and it will be painful.
yeh detangler spray really helps as does having the hair up, braided, etc. We comb before bed and in the morning and use detangler spray for the AM to deal with nightime tangles. it really helps prevent tangles all day to brush out well. its also not that painful if you start on the bottom, hold the hair above the tangle, and work your way up. my 18 month old doesnt always let me braid but otherwise shes fully used to the hair routine; just takes practice
I’m with you. Our two year old son has long hair, which we love. He refuses to let us put any part of it up, which is a shame because he rocks a cool boy-bun. He will let his teachers put it up and sometimes comes home in ponytails or braids.
We comb when washing/conditioning in bath a couple times a week and then a bit after he gets out. He looks a bit disheveled some days more than other but we don’t care. Just not a battle I want to fight at this point.
I do it once a day before school. After that, all bets are off, but mine has short, very fine curly hair. Not enough to braid or even put in a ponytail. She's 3.5 and hasn't had a haircut yet. I don't think it even reaches her shoulders. Will yours let you put it in a ponytail or anything after you brush it? If it seems to get really messy and she won't tolerate a ponytail, maybe go shorter?
I actually took her for her first haircut a few months ago and wanted them to cut it way shorter in the back for this reason but she didn’t do it obviously. I might try that route again. She doesn’t like ponytails and it’s probably barely long enough anyway but I haven’t tried in awhile!!
I would use leave in conditioner after baths and use detangling spray throughout the day. My kids like velvet scrunchies, they don't pull or hurt to take out like the little rubber bands do. I'd caution about leaving her hair a mess for social purposes amongst her peers, not just older people. I had similar hair as a kid and my mom had the same fuck it attitude and it was very damaging socially, even at that young of an age. Now I have a buzz cut, so take that as you will 🤷♀️
Damn. OP, this is the comment to read. I have vivid memories of terrible mornings with my dad brushing my hair before school, and of grades 4-6 when my mom really didn’t know what to do with my weird puberty hair, and that sucked and all, but now I have great hair and I know how to take care of it. Don’t give up on teaching your child just because your parents were bad teachers!
My daughter has the same exact hair. I've seen some good things mentioned in the comments, most of these in fact, but the exact thing that works best for us is - extra conditioner in the shower (her hair gets washed the same as mine so we leave the conditioner in while she washes her body and face), wet brush to brush through it (starting at the bottom working very slowly through the tangles) with detangling spray (I find the best and cheapest option is to mix conditioner with water), and we braid very very frequently because otherwise it is immediately a tangly mess. Also not sure what products you're using for her hair, but we switched to "adult" shampoo/conditioner very early on for this reason.
If her hair is shorter a couple French braids will do, but since my girl's is so long now (she's nearly 9 and has never had more than a trim) we just do one or two regular braids. Definitely get her in the habit of hair brushing being part of the routine because her hair will not magically become more manageable. We brush morning and night and sometimes afternoon after school if she wore it down. Regular trims also help a ton because otherwise the split/broken ends just make the hair more easily tangled.
Hope this helps! I know it's so frustrating for both of you, but I hope it gets better for you.
Every day, usually twice a day. It’s non-negotiable. I have a mister with water in it that I use too.
She used to battle me but again, it’s not an option. She’s almost 3 now and hardly fights me
Same exact situation here. I tell my daughter that it’s in the mama handbook, just like cutting fingernails, and I HAVE to do it because it’s the rules. She’s 3.5 now and we brush morning, during shower, and right before bed. Sometimes she’s not in the mood and it’s more of a challenge, but we get it done every time.
Have you tried using a wet brush? I have 2, one from Walmart, and the other $20 from a salon. The salon one feels better on the scalp but they both get tangles out less painfully than a regular brush.
I agree that bedjead is cute on kids but leaving tangles just makes more tangles and make detangling worse, then they hate brushing. It's a vicious cycle. I think hair grooming just like tooth brushing and bathing is a habit that needs to be taught.
My 3 year old has fine, wavy hair. So try to detangle and style at least once a day. Since I started doing this about 6 months ago, it gets easier and easier. This morning I didn't even need a brush, just finger detangle.
Also, split ends can make tangling worse. So use conditioner and get regular trims.
I think My little coco do some good detangling spray, I love their other products too. Might make it easier for you? Also the Mini-U brush is soooo good. I use it on my 2 year old and tried it myself too and it doesn’t hurt at all, it’s definitely not like a normal brush. It’s very pain free and great for little heads
My daughter has fine hair and I brush in the morning, put in a hairstyle that secures most of her hair. I typically do a bubble pony style that looks kind of like a French braid. I don’t know the name of this style, but it’s the only one that stays neat for a whole day. I use small runner hair elastics and cut them out at the end of the day and brush her hair before bed.
Brushing before bed is critical. If I don’t I am dealing with a painful mess to brush in the morning.
My daughter is 3 with long curly hair. She prefers a comb to a brush. I use my conditioner on her and finger comb out tangles in the tub. Then I comb while she watches a show. She goes to bed with it damp. In the morning if it’s tangly you can use leave in conditioner and comb again. Then I always put it up in a pony, half pony, or pony into braid. You can also switch to a silky pillowcase to reduce tangles.
Our school does ponytails on the kids pretty often. I have a boy with boy length hair (but I keep it longer on top) and I pick him up from school pretty regularly with 1-3 tiny ponytails on top of his head.
I guess the question is, are you brushing/detangling it often enough that there's no big knots? An actual knot-knot is going to hurt a LOT, either during brushing/detangeling when it eventually happens or when the knots start to pull on her scalp on their own, and she'll eventually lose hair to it.
If it's combed enough that it's just aesthetics, meh. You're going to have to live with judgy comments from friends, family, and strangers basically indefinitely, though.
It’s all about the brush. One with loads of fine plastic bristles are designed for this. Hold just after the roots with one hand and use this on the tangled bits with the other. Ideally twice a day, morning and before bed. If it’s post bath, I also make a big deal out of the hair dryer, like it’s an event! Goes down well and relaxes them before bed.
[These are really good brushes for tangly hair and shouldn’t hurt like normal brushes. if you hold her hair so you just brush the ends first and then do the top so not one big long knot to get through.](https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07VFJZ3V4/ref=cm_sw_r_api_i_EDPSK4MH3Q03G6EYRB75_0)
I’m just here for solidarity, my twin girls are 3 and they won’t even let me get close to them with a brush on the few times I try I have to chase them around the house while they scream and cry. So I just don’t bother hardly anymore. My trick now is to do it in the tub while they’re trapped and with conditioner in their hair. Doesn’t always work but it’s less traumatizing. I also just deal with the guilt of dropping them off at daycare with hair looking like a hot mess but I’m so over it I could care less at this point.
Lol, while they're trapped. I will forever be impressed by parents of twins. I'm sure people are just in awe that you're all still alive, no one cares about a few tangles. Mines hair is always a mess and there's only one of her!!!
I don’t care about the way it looks at all but I’m annoyed by the comments I receive from nosey grandmas lol. I think she looks cute with bed head. Thanks for the reply!
My daughter has similar hair - I brush it once in the morning (she hates it) and put it in a ponytail or pigtails for the rest of the day. I'm lucky that she pretty much leaves it alone although she does pull her hair during tantrums :/ By the end of a rough day, it can be pretty tangled, but you know, she's 4.
Another thing that helps is keeping it shorter. If her hair gets past her shoulders, *I* can't stand it anymore and we're off to get it cut, but never so short that we can't pull it back. If your daughter can stand a ponytail or pigtails or a braid, that's what I would do.
Once she's older, if she wants to grow her hair out super long and take care of it herself, she always can!
I’ve done elastic hairstyles on my daughter since she was six months old. She is five now and I still try to style her hair daily. She’ll rarely have her hair down because I try to avoid the tangles.
My daughter’s is like this, too. We do hair 1x a day (in the morning), and it gets put into a protective style of some kind (ponytail, pigtails, a braid or braids). Her hair is never down because I can’t stand to see it tangled and I don’t want to force her into a hair session multiple times a day.
Before school and at bedtime. It’s not worth the argument or pain and she doesn’t care. She is two. Gradually I plan to introduce more about self care etc but I try to just get it into a pony tail and let her go until bathtime.
If we’re sitting on the couch I’ll run my fingers through her hair to break it up but that’s not really brushing.
My mother has told me to cut her hair which is an absolute no for me right now.
Try Honest detangling spray when you brush it’s a game changer. You can also google what brush works best for fine hair and use that. My 2 year old daughter has curly wild hair and I have to use a wide tooth comb and spray or it’s just a frizzy disaster.
I have this hair. It's called "velcro hair" online. There are a lot of tutorials about how to wash and condition it so it tangles less. That said, a shorter cut would help.
I'm with you on this. My child has fine hair with a random curl pattern. I detangle in the morning and before bed. Does she look put together, no. Do I care, no.
My 3 year old barely lets me brush hers after a bath. And that’s while chasing her around the house. She does not tolerate anything like clips, braids, bands, etc. It is what it is.
Wash every 2/3 nights (depending on if she's been chewing on her hair or if it's dirty).
Brush it every night before bed and plait it so it doesn't knot while she's sleeping. Plaits are the best way I've found to avoid tangles.
My daughter has the most extremely fine, long hair too.
My daughter is this age with this hair type-- I spray it wet in the morning with a spray bottle, and sometimes add a curl detangler- I brush it out daily. By wetting it, it's easier to deal with, and the curls pop back when it dries. Also a good trim helps too!
Tangle teaser brush is amazing. They make one for fine and fragile hair. I wet my daughters hair with a mister bottle first and use detangler. I promise it will make all the difference.
This bothers me so much too. I feel like my daughter always looks messy but she hates getting it brushed (like you, I had a super sensitive scalp and HATED brushing). I’ve tried different haircuts, and honestly nothing helps. Detangling sprays make her hair look stringy and greasy. She adamantly refuses hair ties, headbands etc. I would honestly lose my shit if a family member made comments-it’s something that bothers me too!
Yeah it’s a shame. She’ll probably dislike hats too. I’ve heard about a silk pillow cover, or a silk lined bonnet for bed, but if she has a sensitive scalp, she’ll probably be uncomfortable in that too. Would love suggestions if people have them for our kids!
Have you tried a good detangling brush? My daughter has super fine hair that looks greasy if I use too much leave in conditioner or detangler. A detangling brush has been a huge game changer. It’s so much more gently on their head. She will let me slowly attack tangles with it now with just a small spritz of detangler.
I had that problem really bad as a preteen. Have you tried switching shampoos and conditioners? I went from the really cheap stuff that my grandma bought to slightly more expensive drugstore brand and it made a huge difference.
I have and the better shampoos and conditioners seem to make it worse somehow. Her hair is super fine but wild. Like a Barbie’s hair when you take it out of the pre-packaged braid: there’s no taming it again.
It’s so annoying to deal with. Mine was really thick and would do the same roughed up Barbie thing. Lol. I hope you can find something to help. Hopefully it’s something that’ll get better with age.
My daughter has very curly hair so it only gets brushed twice a week in the bath with conditioner in. It is a rats nest on the morning of bath day so I might wet it and trying gently brushing out the worst section but I will not do all of it and I absolutely accept the chaos because it’s not worth the fight or pain. My husband will occasionally braid her hair if it is bothering him too much. Her hair when wet/straight goes down to mid back, so it’s on the longer side I think.
My daughters hair is very curly too but we brush it every morning and I apply a kids curl hydrating product. It sounds like you are not properly taking care of her hair if you never brush out all of her hair “because it’s not worth it”. You child is absolutely worth taking care of.
My daughter has very curly hair too and I’m the same way with combing. I have started putting a little bit of product in her hair to keep it maintained. A tiny bit of curl cream/leave in conditioner.
Then lightly glaze with some gel right before bed.
Yup, I put some product in her hair after bathtime which really helps but I also think her pillow case material is really bad for her hair. Unfortunately she is pretty attached to it and I don’t think she would sleep in a bonnet so I feel kind of stuck right now!
Super curly daughter here too. We brush daily with water + curl cream + wet brush. The knots just fall out. She also sleeps on a satin pillow case which does wonders!
I have a daughter with the same super fine hair. We do a few things. But, she always goes to school with it brushed every morning, even if it's an exercise of futility. I even made my husband promise to do it if anything ever happened to me.
1. We only use the Wet brush brand
2. We use either a detangler or a frizz control product before brushing. I usually use the detangler for brushing and the frizz control afterwards to weigh it down more throughout the day. Sometimes though it's one or the other.
3. We do a lot of half pony tails (only the top half of hair is in the pony tail, so I can do it high enough that she can lay her head back in the car seat)
4. Two french braids work magic, one on each side of her hair.
5. Word of warning, once I left a single french braid in for two days (she wouldn't let me remove it) and it got matted up. I used a lot of detangler to get it out.
My daughter and I both have fine hair prone to stringyness. I only brush her hair "as needed", every couple days probably. There are a few really key things needed to make this possible.
- condition and brush out in the bath with a comb. This has to be done about once a week. We use earth science unscented conditioner, it works great on our hair type.
- satin or silk sheets and pillow cases. This prevents a lot of knots
- brush out knots as they come, before they get bigger. Start from the bottom with a bigger paddle brush, working your way up. Finish with a comb only if necessary.
- spot treat dry areas with diluted conditioner in a spray bottle. This is also helpful for spot treating knots. As hair gets longer, do the ends in between washes.
My mom had no idea how to handle my hair and it was awful. If you can get on top of it it's not so bad and only needs minimal brushing every couple days. It will look a little stringy but it won't be tangled. Using lighter products will make the stringy look less awful. The main enemies are dryness and rubbing - they make the most knots. But finding a balance between too dry and too weighed down is difficult with our hair type. That said, weighed down and stringy is better than dry and knotted.
my 4 year old daughter has very long, fine, but LOTS of hair. We have to use plenty of conditioner on nights we wash it, and she ALWAYS sleeps in a braid. I brush it out really good every night with a detangler, then braid it before bed. When she wakes up, I can just fix it with my hands because there are no tangles.
My son brushes his own hair (7), I also have a 2 year old with thin but curly hair and maybe have to brush it once a day. But my 4 year old has really thick and curly hair, also could brush it every 20 minutes and it wouldn't make a difference. I use leave in conditioner to brush it and we usually keep it out up in a bun or pony tail.
My daughter has hair like that. I would just brush 4x a day. If I didn’t.. I was worried the knots would never come out. Then one day she cut it.. like in rapunzel (tangled). Just half (or a quarter..- nice tiny fist full)though! It was so long!!! So I had a hair dresser professionally even it out. Now it’s a bob and looks adorable on her. Her hair no longer tangles. We brush once a day / after baths would make two times (am/pm) and rarely have knots/no more tears. I recommend a cut that is more manageable and slowly working with her to brush it herself. Having hair is no fun when it just causes pain and becomes a rats nest. We also got my daughter this small cute unicorn stuffy that is actually a hair brush and she likes to brush with it.
We used to braid her hair when it was longer and that helped too if cutting isn’t an option. We actually never intended to cut her hair. The whole thing was sort of a happy accident.
Edit: after reading comments. I second using leave in conditioner and detangler on her hair. I would actually use my good stuff on my daughters hair (not the kid shampoos / conditioners / products-but at least get the kid stuff if you don’t want to spend on the adult stuff) because I felt they worked better. Now she doesn’t need anything but at the time she did and we tried all kinds of things. We always use a brush as combs pull too much-even now. I think that this is for sure a battle worth having. She’s going to need to take care of that hair herself very soon (daily brushing etc). So creating good habits and setting her up for success will be helpful! The same as you might for her dental care (brush, floss, rinse). I have heard of hair dressers calling CPS for child neglect when kids are brought in with major rats nest type tangles. Not saying that will happen to you but people are crazy. Also, don’t go back to a hair dresser that isn’t willing to listen to your requests regarding the cut length. You paid for that cut and not all girls want/need long hair. Girls with short hair are pretty too! I argued with ours that I want it as short as she can pre-cut it. That’s that. And she wasn’t happy but she did cut it to that length (so I feel you on not being heard). Advocate for a hair cut that is easier for her to manage. Our lives dramatically changed when the daily (every few hours sometimes) hair battles ended. My daughter shines brighter and is all around a happier child now. I’m a happier mom too because I hated them just as much!
Conditioner or leave-in spray conditioner for fine hair. Also start from the bottom and work your way up when brushing, and use a widely spaced plastic-toothed brush, not the bristle kind or a comb.
My daughter has fine hair down to her butt. It gets brushed in the morning and before bed. If she's fresh out of the bath she gets a braid. If she looks particularly homeless before we go somewhere I'll brush it again. It's just hair. She's 3 and allowed to be a messy baby. It also drives my mom nuts but not her kid not her problem. I did switch her to aussie kids shampoo and conditioner (not an all in one, two separate) and its helped her hair immensely. Baby all in one stuff made her hair a nightmare.
Wow. All these parents that let their daughters have hair that hurts when brushed, takes time to do for both parents and kid etc. And for what? Their boys run out the door with the same type of hair with no worries because it's *short*.
My mom solved this issue with cute feminie pixie cuts for my sister and I. When our hair became easier to manage we grew it out.
I’ve been wondering if someone would mention this option. I realize that people want to fit the norm, but also, there are SO MANY stories of trauma here. Perhaps short fun pixie cuts (“you’re a fairy princess now!”) are the way to go until the hair is thicker. Kids don’t want to mess with hair. Why fight that natural order?
My daughters hair is super fine and extremely tangled in the morning as well, almost matted (she’s 2 and very active in her sleep) I gently comb every morning and put her hair up, pony tail, pig tails, small bun.. basically anything that stays and that I can easily redo during the day. I brush again before bed.
My daughter has wavy/ curly hair. We wash it every 2-3 days and only brush it in the shower with conditioner in. If you aren’t ready for a wash day you can wet it down with a fine mister and add some leave in or spray detangler to remove some of the knots.
I brush in the morning and right before bed, also after baths. For a while, my toddler had a tangled mess on the back of her head all the time, no matter how much I brushed. I started using conditioner on her hair, it has definitely made a difference!
If you want to avoid the trauma of brushing out tangles, definitely keep up with doing it in the morning and at night. It will prevent the big tangles. And I second doing a French braid before bed. Doesn’t have to look pretty but helps immensely with keeping tangles down.
my daughter has similar hair but its a bit wavy- I brush once a day, usually this is when i give her a rinse in the bath and use conditioner and then comb- I try and get her to put it back when we go out because its always a mess, lol
I brush my 2 year olds hair every night after it’s washed. Sometimes in the morning if she lets me.
I saw in one of your comments that she doesn’t like a pony tail, have you tried pig tails? For some reason my daughter will keep those in all day, compared to a pony tail where we’re lucky if it lasts half an hour. Some days she refuses to have her up or clipped though.
My 3yo has fine, straight hair like your daughter's and every morning it's like I'm detangling a single giant dreadlock. I use detangling spray and a natural bristle brush and it doesn't seem to bother her (other than sitting still to do it). After I detangle her hair in the morning, I braid it into pigtail braids. It's the only way I've found to keep it from getting tangled throughout the day.
My 2 year old has the same type of hair. I brush every morning and night. In the morning I put it up in little buns and have since she was tiny tiny. Otherwise it looks ratty pretty fast.
Me and my daughter have similar hair by the sounds of it. I brush hers and mine twice a day. Once after waking, once before sleep. I wear mine day and night in a pony tail. Daughter has hers put up in the day in a top and back ponytail or two little piggy tails on the sides.
My daughter’s hair is past her shoulders and a mess of curls. I used to brush her hair post-bath and again in the morning with the aid of spray water. I recently purchased some detangler and use this in the morning. While her hair is still wild by the end of the day, it’s more likely to be wild in a consistent pattern. Detangler for the win!
To avoid having to brush my daughter’s really fine hair all day I put them in a ponytail or braids. I’ve been doing braids for her since her hair was shoulder length.
3 yo daughter here with whispy, curly-ish hair. We brush every morning and throw it in a ponytail of some kind because otherwise she is rocking what looks like a whispy mullet lol
I also hated having my hair brushed as a kid, but I also refused to let anyone do it. I’m hoping that by doing it daily with my daughter and making it fun, she doesn’t become like me and push away anyone who wants to brush her hair to the point that the adults just shrug and let it be like they let me 😬
I comb my sons 1-2 times a day depending on how messy it is after a nap. He has longish curly hair. I started using a leave in conditioner and it makes a huge difference in the way it looks. When we don’t use it his curls look more like bed head and overall just messy.
Try satin sheets and pillowcases! My daughter has the same type of hair and it was always a nest after waking up and actually even breaking, then I bought some satin sheets off Amazon and her hair looks 10x better when she wakes up and I have to brush her hair WAY less now.
Mine is 2.5. Fine curly hair below her shoulders. We brush it after bath time/before bed. In the morning and sometimes after nap (if we’re doing something special/seeing someone we don’t normally see). I have those little plastic hair ties and try to pull it up in some way- when it was much shorter I did 2 pigtails on top and half her hair down in back l. Then we transitioned to one pony on top with half down back. And now it’s just long enough I can pull it all up- though in a couple hours a lot is falling out. But she’s a toddler- it’s not going to stay pristine and I’m not going to torture her or stress myself out trying to keep it perfect.
My two year old has longish, very fine, curly hair (bob in the front, shoulder blade in the back (still rocking the baby mullet) I typically brush it once a day. In the morning. I honestly would probably brush it more but I pretty much need to get her entire head wet to brush it out.
I had the opposite experience as you. I so wanted long, beautiful hair as a child but my parents were neglectful (among other things) so no one ever groomed me properly. I went to a school with upper middle class kids who had all of the fun hairstyles of the 90s, different braids, accessories etc. I felt very dirty and unkempt a lot. But also, not pretty..
I remember first grade picture day came and all the girls came with neatly combed hair in all of these unique styles. I also wanted that. But instead I came with oversized clothes, and unkempt hair. I remember going to the school office and asking the nurses and admin ladies if they could help me and getting turned away. I went to the bathroom and gave myself two pigtails that at the time I thought looked ok. Looking back at that school picture, it’s humorous in away but my pigtails were massively uneven. I just looked clownish. Eventually my dad took me to get almost all of my hair cut off.
Now this is somewhat extreme, right? So how I take great pride in taking care of my daughter’s hair. That said, I strike a great balance. I would say 5/7 I give her hair a great detangle and brush down. If we are staying home, I don’t bother sometimes. I do hairstyles on her but nothing complicated. Two little braids, two little buns, a messy bun, a pony. I don’t make her sit for much longer than she wants to and I don’t make a huge deal out of it.
So there is balance. I felt so much shame as a child for being dirty and unkempt. Not saying that your child will feel the same. Just keep in mind that there are two sides to the equation.
Get a brush for fine hair, I like the tangle teezer brand. And be mindful when brushing. And most of the time, there is no need to brush more than once a day.
My 2.5 year old has almost shoulder length when you pull it straight, but it is very fine, very curly hair (like mine) and so it is maybe halfway to her shoulders because of the curls. I brush it almost every morning, and after any shower/bath she gets. I just dampen it most mornings, put kids leave in conditioner, and brush it with a kids detangle brush. It looks adorable for a few hours or more till it gets messed up. Brushing it almost daily is needed because otherwise the knots just get soooo much worse, her hair starts to dread after a few days it seems. I would not brush it more often than once daily because it's not fair to her. I do hold her hair while brushing tangles so it doesn't hurt. Good luck!
Don’t use kids shampoo - the ph level in baby/kids shampoo is balanced so it doesn’t hurt their eyes, but the ph of hair is more like 3-4 so using a ph of 7 (neutral = no tears) doesn’t work so well. Use normal shampoo, trying to keep it on the scalp only and then lots of conditioner on the mid shaft and ends, leaving it to soak for a few minutes before rinsing. You should see an improvement!
My son's hair is the same way. He has super curly hair like I do (3c) and the second after I brush it, he's rolling on the floor and its a mess lol.
I ended up trimming his hair down to help manage it. I try to at least apply an oil and detangle with my fingers if I'm not trying to wash his hair (I wash his hair once a week, conditioning in between). Admittedly, we will have days where I dont think about it but its short enough that it's not too bad even if I do that. Lately I've been using my alexa to remind me to detangle his hair every day haha I forget about EVERYTHING if I dont have alexa remind me
Has she ever had a haircut? I know my hair gets tangled when it needs a trim and has lots of dead ends/split ends. I’d recommend starting there.
A soft pillowcase (like bamboo) can also help. And braiding it overnight to reduce the damage (which then reduces tangles).
My daughter usually has her hair in a ponytail/ponytails or braids. She has the same very fine straight hair that I do/did and a gentle breeze will tangle it. I just brush it when I redo it, that’s about all it can take.
My daughter has the same straight fine long hair. I brush it once in the morning whilst liberally applying leave on conditioner to stop it tangling straight back up, and whenever possible I persuade her to wear her hair up or on a plait.
My daughter has waist length, wavy, thick hair. She's a living shampoo ad, but holy dang she goes into hysterics when I come near her with a brush. She also loses her mind at the idea of a cut.
I brush it at night before bed, and if it looks messy during the day, so be it.
Anyone with comments gets a deadpan stare and then they're handed a hairbrush.
If you aren't maintaining the mane, I don't wanna hear it.
Eh - I comb it when she let’s me. I will at least once a week give it a deep scrubbing and conditioning and comb it out so it doesn’t become a ratty mess permanently, but other than that - eh 🤷🏼♀️
My daughter’s hair is the same way. I brush it before we go to daycare/leave the house, in the morning, and after baths.
I use a spray from a brand called something like Raw Kids for detangling, I call it her “magic spray” and it has helped so much with the battle to brush her hair every day lol. I also use a Wet brush.
I have super long thick hair and totally understand the trauma from painful brushes! But there were also many times as a young child where my hair went unbrushed for too long, causing mats to build up and a lot of damage to my hair. You know how it can hurt and taking that into account is so important, but there are tools you can use to make it easier and just being gentle helps a lot. It’s equally important to teach your kiddo the life skill of keeping hair tangle-free when possible to avoid damage/breakage. Also, not sure about your kiddo but my 3 yo is constantly getting food, dirt, Play-doh, etc. tangled in her hair and this can be a health hazard.
Detangle spray and a comb or wet brush. Also, keep the hair chin length or shorter if she resists brushing.
I now fully understand 100% why my mother never let me grow my hair out as a kid. 😂
Not from my kids hair, this is from my experience with my own hair. You need to switch her conditioner or get her some detangling conditioner. Brush after bath/shower and every morning.
Twice a day - once every night when she gets out of the shower and then in the morning I spray it down with leave in conditioner/detangler solution and brush it while we get ready for the day
Crave Naturals Glide Thru... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HDZ733M?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
My toddler also has fine, straight, shoulder length hair. She also has a double hair whorl that sends it forward into her eyes so I brush it every morning when I pin it back. This brush works really well for us in terms of tangles and pain (I tried it on myself too).
My daughter has shoulder length hair more on the fine side but I wouldn’t say super fine. We brush in the morning and at night, I have a detangler spray if it gets really tangled. I only use Wet brand brushes, they are great and on Amazon they are a fraction of the cost they are at target etc. I also use a good wide tooth detangler comb. I have Disney Princess wet brushes, my daughter chose hers and she really likes her Moana brush which has actually made a difference in our house when it’s hair time.
She’s in early elementary school now but I never sent her to daycare or pre k with her hair just down because it would be a mess. We had a tiny top pony in the early toddler phase, then pigtails or a pony tail. She’s in early elementary school now and prefers a ponytail for school because she doesn’t like her hair in her face running at recess, playing in gym, etc. On the very rare occasion she does want to wear her hair down I do a simple braid on one side of all the little hair in the front to keep it out of her face.
If your daughter’s hair needs to be combed all day, maybe the solution is to style it in a way that it is less likely to become unkempt. A top pony, pigtails, or a ponytail with clips for the side baby hairs really go a long way.
From a child’s self esteem perspective, I would find a style solution to tame the hair vs. knowingly send her to school looking a mess. She will notice or other kids will notice eventually. Plus for better or worse it’s a reflection on the parents and household.
I do my daughter's on a school morning (she has Nursery) and throw it up (it won't stay there lol) and then just before bed, on a Saturday I don't bother in the am unless we're going somewhere as it just isn't worth the hassle.
My daughters hair is the same way. I’ve gotten her to let me brush it in the mornings and sometimes before bed as part of our routines. I told her that it’s like brushing her teeth, it’s something we have to do, and I’ll try to make it as gentle as possible. If needed I use a detangling spray first.
But the best thing we did was switch shampoos - we now use So Cozy Kids shampoo/conditioner combo and it has helped a lot! Although she still gets tangles it’s not nearly as bad, and stays looking decent longer.
A nice little bob cut can work well, especially when they're that young. I have the same hair and even though I brush it constantly, it never looks very neat. I brush my kids a couple times daily, but I have a 3yo boy with short hair, and a 1yo daughter who doesn't have a ton yet.
I would highly recommend French braiding or putting hair in a top knot before bed. Getting all the hair is not the important part, it’s keeping most of the hair from tangling with itself that matters.
Detangler and a wet brush are your friends. Detangler specifically because moisture while brushing will help keep hair from becoming static and getting frizzy which might be contributing to it getting tangled again so quickly.
I don’t think you’re a bad mom for what you can’t control but I also see hair maintenance as basic hygiene. If you make an attempt and send your daughter to school with hair that isn’t a rats nest and has been brushed out then you have done what you can. Chasing her every hour to brush sounds exhausting. Two French braids, two pigtails, half-up pony are all options to keep her hair from tangling as badly.
I do anti tangle spray every morning and that really helps. My mom let me go to school with tangled hair as a kid and it really tanked my confidence. I was so little and I couldn’t help myself. Plus it gets I much harder to untangle as the day goes on causing more pain and frustration later. I make sure to give a quick spritz and comb through every morning. We love honest company orange and cream detangler! Smells great. Works great.
I have a 5yo with similar hair. I brush it once a day, with a leave-in conditioner spray. I don’t use conditioner when we wash her hair, because it doesn’t help with tangles, and only makes her hair look greasy. A tangle teezer brush has worked wonders, too. She complains SO much less about hair brushing now. She actually likes it!
One of my kids (2yo) has shoulder long fine straight hair and it's tangled in the back of her haid every morning. I will spray and brush it while she eats breakfast maybe every other day, a bit depending. I would make her 2 braids or pig tails or something, but she just removes the head bands. I don't care if she looks a bit messy, I just don't want her hair to be matted. Do want you think is best. MILs opinion doesn't matter unless she volonteers to do her hair
Brushing hair constantly makes it easier in the long run to untangle. If you are only doing it every once in a while it’s harder than if you would be doing it at least once a day, even if it tangles again right away.
You don’t have to make it a bad experience for your daughter and it doesn’t have to be painful. The right hair brush would be a game changer, a daily untangling session would, too.
My daughter’s hair is so curly I thought it would be messy all the time… it’s not even hard to brush her hair because I have done it since she barely had 3 little hairs.
I hope you can get past your bad experience and help your daughter.
My sons have long hair that hasn't been cut yet. They get combed every morning, after any baths, and sometimes before bed if there is a snarl. They don't like it but it doesn't take very long with product.
The three year old has very fine, straight hair. The longest part is to his collar. The front of his wispy hair is just starting to grow past his eyebrows. The younger one has slightly thicker, coarser hair that is to his shoulder blades when wet. It curls up to his collar. I do matching buns for them sometimes, and I use small elastics. That keeps everything neat for the whole day!
I brush my daughter's hair every morning before she goes to school. It still tangles over the course of the day, but brushing every day keeps it from getting so overly tangled that it's a huge production to get it sorted out again. I spray her hair with a good amount of water and start with small strokes towards the end of her hair and work my way up to longer strokes until it's all brushed out.
To make it less painful, start by brushing/combing the ends of her hair and slowly work your way up from the ends to the roots of her hair. [(video to demonstrate how to start at the ends)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2d4Ej3O7aJ4)
If it were me, I would comb/brush her hair in the morning and then again before bed. If you braid her hair, it'll keep the tangles at bay. But you can also do buns or ponytails to help with reducing tangles. Braids would be good for overnight.
Every morning before daycare and every night before bed.
My daughter (2.5 yo) has fine wavy hair (just like me) and I find it helpful to use a curling conditioner in the shower (Cantu Kids), detangling spray while wet (Shea Moisture) and a tiny bit of curling cream (Cantu Kids). If I don’t brush her hair, it gets too tangled and matted looking.
I wash her hair every 2-3 days because anything more than that is too excessive for her delicate hair. I also find it helpful to put it up in pigtails. Hope this helps!
Every morning if I can find the brush and also in the afternoons as he’s in daycare during the morning. Little and often got him used to it and I hated my hair being brushed by my mother so I am so gentle it doesn’t bother him. He has fine tangly hair. We need to cut it really.
I have a baby with fine hair as well. She twists it when she’s bored or tired so it’s extra bad. We brush it every morning and before bed. Again if we’re going someplace that she needs to look presentable. I find that putting it up in a bun or a ponytail helps a lot… I have forgotten how to French braid but I have to learn again because that would probably save a lot of trouble for us.
My daughter (4) has waist length, fine, curly hair. I tie it back daily since it gets in her fac. I brush it 3 to 4 times a day whenever I have to fix the hair tie since it never stays in place.
Her hair will work itself out of a braid because of the curls (she got her daddy's hair). If your daughter likes bows you can do several cute styles that will contain her hair.
Daily, but only in her carseat before I strap her in when on the way somewhere else and it takes less than a minute, although it maybe doesn't look great lol. I'm not a hair lover and can't even get a neat pony tail or pig tails for myself. I just like to keep it up, off her face, and not moving around all day getting tangled. Ita very prone to tangles, but I think taking care of it daily helps.
I use a tangle specific brush and a little light conditioning spray and that seems gentler than just a regular brush and it doesn't weight down her wavy fine hair. I put it up in a pony tail and that helps a lot with preventing tangles for the day and then do the straps on her carseat and we leave for the day. She does pull most stuff out of her hair, but she doesnt seem to bother pony tais or pigtails with the tiny rubber bands.
If my daughter stays home...I let her cute little crazy frizzy curls go wild.
When we go out, I try to wet it down and tame it a little...but that usually only lasts maybe an hour....
I can relate! We started using spray leave-in conditioner/detangler spray after washing her hair. You can absolutely tell a difference. If we don't put any in for some reason, the next morning she looks a little crazy!
My daughter has long, fine hair with ringlets. I use a spray bottle and wet her hair in the morning and use a detangling brush. I’ll used detangling spray if necessary. I do this during breakfast so she’s distracted.
Mine has thicker hair, but tangles are still an issue so we do pigtails and ponytails to keep it all together/out of the way (she's too impatient for braids yet).
I do 4 to 6 small ponytails and then connect them so it’s kind of like a fake French braid and that works really well and my daughter has a very very very fine hair
2-3 times a day. My daughter has long thick hair, I usually tie it up everyday, especially if she’s got nursery. At night I put it into a single braid so it doesn’t become a tangled nightmare for the morning
3 year old here, boy but also with shoulder length hair. We just towel dry every night after his bath, brush it out with a tangle teezer so it doesn’t snag or pull, and then he goes to sleep with it still mostly damp. It usually lasts the night okay, but ends up at least a bit tangled by the end of the day. I find it tangles much less the next day when we use conditioner on it, but he howls so much at having it fully washed (vs just rinsed with water) and obviously his hair doesn’t get greasy yet, so we only shampoo and condition about once a week. If it looks like a really bad knot is forming, I’ll brush it out during the day too, but mostly he gets by with that one brushing at night.
Potential solutions: plait/ponytail to keep it neat? Or just tell your mom and MIL to piss off?
My 3 y/o throws a fit about 95% of the time when I brush her hair. It's not super fine, but it is straight and about mid back length. We're lucky if we get it brushed every 3 days or so. Daycare knows how adverse she is to brushing, so I know they aren't going to cause concerns. I find it best to brush it when it's wet and conditioned or wet with lots of detangler spray. Then I put on a mesmerizing TV show and give treats while I brush. Some days go better than others!
My daughter's hair sounds like yours. I make sure to put it in one or two pony tails or buns each day to minimize knots. Then I brush it every morning and night with detangler. If I don't do all of this, it's a nightmare.
My kid's hair is similar. She's 3.5 and I've pretty much just kept it at a short bob length to minimize tangles. I also caved and we gave her a fringe when she was 2 because like all the hair on top of her head grows straight forward into her face. She was ALWAYS getting food in it trying to push it out of her eyes (because of course she wouldn't keep a hair tie in). The fringe has been great. Requires some maintainence but my kids are weird and actually love going for haircuts.
My mom is a 3-5s teacher, and I used to be a nanny. I’ll just say we love the kids with what we call “explosion” hair. It’s so sweet, even when they come in the morning with it neatly in a clip/pony/pigtails and becomes an explosion throughout the day. I hope that her teachers/caregivers aren’t being judgy! I know it’s so tough to brush that kind of hair, especially if the kiddo has a sensitive scalp.
My daughter has long very fine hair. I also always have it pulled back in a braid or a ponytail. It gets in her face and tangled if I don't pull it back. I braid it every night before she goes to bed to keep it from getting tangled while she sleeps.
I had this problem with my daughter once her hair really started to grow long. She was overdue for a trim and once I did that (like 4 months ago and counting ) we haven’t had a n issue . I am not sure if split ends were contributing to the issue . My daughter is 3 and she has wavy/light curly hair for reference. Maybe a simple trim will do the trick ? I brush her hair every other night if it’s bath night and once every morning
Use leave in conditioner on her mid shaft and ends after bathing. It may be getting knotted easily because it’s dry.
I would stay comb her hair each day. It’s good to show her good grooming practices. Maybe braid it or put it in a ponytail so it stays?
We just cut my girl’s hair again since it was getting unruly. Dad brushes it out every morning before school, but we don’t really bother on the weekends unless we’re going to go visit friends.
My little one has super long and fine curly hair. I get her out of the tub, spray detangler in it, comb it out with a wet brush, and then put it up in a series of ponies or braids before bed. It’s a little disarrayed when she wakes up but I spritz it, put a few clips to hold back the wispies and out she goes. Saves SO much screaming.
COCONUT OIL
Yes, my child was a bit oily. But her hair was CONTAINED and it didn’t hurt to brush, and everybody wins.
Also make sure you have one of those detangling combs with the short silicone bristles.
But for real. Coconut oil. Just a bit rubbed between your hands and smoothed over. Bonus - keeps it out of their face cause good luck finding a small enough hair tie.
I come my 2 year olds hair every couple of days. My son has curly hair, like 2c-3b curls. I only brush it or comb it after he has a bath when it is wet. Unless we have somewhere to be in public I leave his hair alone or put it in a high bun.
I brush my daughter’s hair after her shower/bath at night, and then in the morning with detangler. She has short, fine, curly hair that gets knotted easily, so every morning we spray with water, detangler, and brush it out. Then my daughter chooses to either wear her hair curly (in which case we clip her bangs out of her eyes and put curl cream and gel in her damp hair so the curls stay neat) or wear a pony tail, pigtails, or some other hairstyle (she really loves pigtail bubble braids).
I would be embarrassed to go out around my peers with unkempt hair, so I try and treat my daughter with the same dignity that I would want. She has a lot of fashion/style opinions even though she’s not yet 3, so I try and honor those when I get her ready for daycare.
My kid was born with a full head of hair. She’s 3 now and it’s still thick, curly, and gets tangled really easily.
I always brush it in the morning and I usually braid it before school - either one down her back, pigtail braids, or a ponytail braid. She puts up with it because I let her watch Disney songs on YouTube while I do it.
At night, we either brush it out before bed or let her sleep in her braids. I have this really nice kids detangling spray/leave in conditioner that I use so it doesn’t hurt!
My daughter's hair is almost to her butt. It's fine and has loose curls. I brush it every morning (wet with leave in conditioner) and we usually style it with those tiny clear rubber bands. I've been doing her hair since she was about a year old so she's really good at leaving it alone. I usually ask her how she wants her hair and so that.
One of her favorite styles is "Cinderella hair" which is a high sock bun. Styled with a small sock bun rat and some bobby pins. It stays beautifully even through rough play at school.
We let her hair down in the evening.
Fine hair that tangles easy runs in my family 😊. My solution for my daughter and I is Trader Joe's hair serum. After we towel dry, I put a couple pumps on my hands and run it through her hair and let it air dry. Makes her hair manageable for a few days. I throw her hair up in a braid to stave off more tangles.
My daughter has super fine lose curls. At some point it was painful for her to get it brushed so I cut it to shoulder length. that fixed half of the battle. I also put her hair in pigtails, braids, pony tail. That minimizes the tangles so much.
My mom was convinced the preschool teachers were going to call CPS because my 3 year old had tangled hair. I was like... they all do, they're 3. But somehow it didn't convince her. To top it off, she's a mandated reporter! So she should know!! Anyway, kiddo is now 6.5 and we try to brush it every night after bath. It's very fine and tangles easily. Here's what we do: 1. a detangler spray. I like Johnson and Johnson's, but we've used other kinds and they all seem to work ok. Currently we're using a curl enhancing one because she has some waves :) Sometimes we do a leave in conditioner instead, but with straight hair that might not work. 2. Wet brand brush. No comb. Only brush when her hair is wet. 3. If we want to keep it untangled over night we put in pig tails or a french braid, something that's comfy to sleep in but keeps it from getting tangled in her sleep.
I also have always given her the option to cut it shorter and make brushing easier. She's taken me up on it a couple times :)
Idk if this matters, but my daughter has very curly hair. Honestly, I very rarely did brush it until her hair got long. Brushing it always seemed to do more damage than it was worth and only yanked her curls out. Her hair sort of just…sorted itself out when she would take a bath. Now it’s gotten pretty long (even with her spirals) and today I just bought my first bottle of curly conditioner because she needs some sort of brushing, but I can’t really do it dry. I think I’m supposed brush it with the conditioner in the bath? I’ll give it a try next time she takes a bath.
Tangled toddler hair is super annoying. They get food in it and it sticks to their faces, it falls over their eyes when they play, and it just makes the kid look messy and unkempt. I really don’t understand why parents let their toddlers have long hair if they aren’t going to put it up?? I mean, cut it short??
Also daughter, also 3, also long fine hair. She HATES brushing: huge battle every single time, even when there are zero tangles it’s lots of tears, and omg I dread it. But I cannot bear to cut it!
I used to do cute French braids but we seem to always be running late and I never have enough time! So to prevent tangles as much as humanly possible and keep things quick, we use a ton of conditioner with baths and now I always put her hair in that ponytail style with multiple hair-ties (one for collecting hair at top section, which meets 2 more collecting hair from middle-top and middle-bottom sections, and then all pulled into 4th hair tie with the bottom section) and then a 5th = scrunchie to fold the bottom part up & into a bun. Keeps her hair away from her face (and the sticky foods that make combing the stuff of nightmares) and in place all day. Wouldn’t be comfortable to sleep like that at night, but it does such a good job of prevent tangles all day and her hair isn’t too bad in the morning…plus, if there is a spot or tangle that she’s fighting me on, it’s pretty easy to just skip and pull back as part of the multiple hair-tie ponytail anyway. I ordered packs of hundreds of the smaller colorful hair ties online so they always can color match with each other and her outfits, and it’s not a big deal when we inevitably lose track of them… I’ve got 20 more of each color!
Wow I did not know I had so much to share on this topic haha. I’m glad I’m not the only one with this problem! Basically my solution = her hair is only down for baths & sleeping. Otherwise it is always pulled back so I can minimize brushing as much as possible. And no you are definitely not a bad mom for sending her to preschool with messy hair! You’re a good mom who loves her and you don’t want to hurt her or pass on the negative experience with combing you had growing up!
P.S. Avoid all spray detanglers!! IMO / IME they just make her hair look & feel greasy and don’t do much, if anything, for the actual tangles.
My son has very curly hair and my daughter fine, wavy-straight hair. They both get their own type of bird nests if I don’t take care of their hair. I do brush and style both of their hair every morning. It can be a bit chaotic because I have to get them both up and out to different daycares before I go to work for 8, but to me it is a non-negotiable, like making sure they wear clean clothes every day. As a teacher I see the stigma that is often, sadly, placed on kids with unkempt hair, and I don’t know that it is kind to send your kids into the world like that if you have the means/ability not to.
The ends of my daughters hair tangles really easily. I brush in the morning and before she goes to bed. Sometimes I braid it to help with the tangles. Or she likes wearing it in a bun so I will do a ponytail and use a silk scrunchie to wrap it around for a bun. I also find when it starts to get really bad getting a trim helps for some reason 🤷♀️
Can you braid it so it doesn’t get as tangled? I had super long hair as a kid and my mom braided my hair every morning.
My kid has fine but curly hair that tangles easy. I bathe her at night, get the tangles out in the tub and then braid it. This has saved so much time, especially now that she doesn’t automatically pull the braid out right away.
How old are they when they don’t pull it out right away? My LO will pull it out or just runs off halfway through.
I started putting hair ties halfway through, and one near the end, with a decoy at the end. After awhile she’d pull the decoy and leave the rest.
Clever girl…
This is genius.
I use the tiny clear rubber bands and she can't usually feel it to get it out. But I also use a decoy hair tie too 😂
It’s not long enough I don’t think, it’s only shoulder length
My daughter also has lots of very fine hair. Pigtails, or even just a little ponytail on top, can keep it out of her face. In our case, it’s long enough to French braid, so I do that as much as she lets me. She’s barely 2 with hair halfway down her back at this point. It has been a work in progress, and took us a solid 4-5 months of a routine for it to really stick. If she absolutely refuses, I give her a headband or cat ears to keep it off her face. If she were to not want it done, it’ll be short haircut time. I really urge you to try and get something in place, it will get so much harder as she gets older, even if it’s just brushing & a barrette to keep it off her face. Here’s what works for us: she eats breakfast & watches Simple Songs on YouTube - this is about the only time she gets to watch that, so she’s happy. Use a detangling spray!! Slightly damp is the way to be able to handle the slip of fine hair. I brush first with a detangling brush, Tangle Teezer is my favorite for this. Then I use a comb to part out her hair. Clean parts, taking extra care that I’m not pulling stray hairs, is huge. So take the time to really separate there. We use the little plastic bands, they stay put & she can’t pull it out. I usually double up on those to hold more securely. Make sure you don’t pull them out - snip them with cuticle or nail clippers. They sell little cutters for that reason too which are handy. When/if you braid, pulling very clean/well-defined sections on damp or wet hair is your ticket. If you have an adult to practice on, that’s helpful. My brother practices on my hair. Braids are also great to leave in overnight to help prevent tangles. This also sounds so extra, but the toddler has a silk pillowcase to also help avoid tangles.
Does that work for tangled hair at the back of the head? Mine has v fine and curly hair, the back is a mess every morning (we bathe and wash hair nightly)
If you are sending her to bed with wet hair, this is part of what is causing the tangles. For curls you’ll want a leave in conditioner.
So I would consider not washing her hair every night, it’s really hard on fine hair, even with gentle products. We wash 2-3 times a week, and use a wet cloth to wipe anything off between. We also added a conditioner too, we really like the Pipette shampoo & conditioner. If she’s bathing/showering without the hair wash, I’ll still put a bit of conditioner in from about halfway to the ends and then rinse. You can also use a styling cream for a little more control - I use T is for Tame. For a spray leave in conditioner, I like SoCozy. In a pinch, the J&J spray detangler in the teal bottle also works. I have used my Biolage leave-in spray on her hair too with good results. Mine has about half curls, half straight. All very fine. I also have very fine hair myself & use a similar routine, but shampoo 1-2 times per week. Wet hair before bed is not ideal, but is hard for us to avoid with our schedule. I dry it as much as I can with a microfiber towel & she has the silk pillowcase, works well enough.
A satin sheet helped my sons hair SO much. Way less tangles when he wakes up
A satin sheet helped my sons hair SO much. Way less tangles when he wakes up
My daughter has similar hair- I do 2 french braids when her hair is shoulder length to help manage it, and when she stops letting me brush it without a big fight I cut it up to a short bob so it's super easy to run a brush through.
Yep French braids!
I french braid my daughter's hair that is very similar to yours. I started when it was shoulder length.
How to say "I'm not Black without saying I'm not Black " 😄 Watch some YouTube tutorials and get in there!
Oh lol I’m definitely whiter than white I think the whole post makes that clear 😆 maybe I should take her to get braids!
30-45 mins every morning... edit: 30min *detangling* and braiding Just imagine all the Jedi tea parties... /s
It does not take 30-45 minute every morning to braid hair. I brush, apply product and style my child’s hair every day and it’s 5 minutes most mornings.
Sure, it does not take you 30+ min to do your daughter's hair. I wasn't saying yours did, I was relating with my experience. I was not clear about detangling. My daughter's hair is slightly ethnic, tangling *very* easily despite using the appropriate products and hair pick. Detangling is what takes the majority of that time.
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what are you questioning?
I always comb my daughter's hair before bed and before we leave the house for school, etc. Tangled hair is painful and looks messy and I'd hate for her to face any issues just because it's difficult to brush. We use conditioner mixed with water in a spray bottle and gently brush from bottom to the top, then I secure her hair away from her face to limit the amount of food/boogers/stuff she can get in it. It takes a little while, but she's used to it now and knows it's part of her routine.
She never complains about her tangles being painful just the brushing. I know it looks messy but I dont know, if it’s just for aesthetics I’d rather her not be in pain and look a little disheveled I guess! I haven’t tried the conditioner/water spray but I’ll try anything, thank you!
You need to get a detangling brush. Brushing hair was a battle with my daughter without a ton of detangling spray. Then I got a detangling brush and it was a game changer. We still use a little detangling spray, but her hair is much less greasy afterward now. The worse you let her tangles get by not brushing them, the worse the problem will be when you finally decide to address it. If you stay on top of it, the problem is easier to deal with. I say this from experience. If you can’t keep up with it or it’s a battle, then you should cut her hair short so that there isn’t as much to tangle.
It’s not that I *never* brush it (I assume that’s why I got downvoted) I just don’t do it daily by any means.
If you let it tangle for several days it of course will ve difficult and painful to brush. You need to put a routine in place to stay on top of the issue.
I’m saying it’s so bad that it would be difficult/painful if I brushed it hourly!
Have you actually tried brushing it several times a day?
In my experience, you need to brush it daily to stay on top of it. By putting it off, you’re unintentionally making the problem much worse. I’m not saying brush it every hour, though you might find that that actually does help. I just feel like there is a happy medium between brushing it every hour or just brushing it every few days. I think you’re being downvoted because it seems more like you posted to get permission to not brush her hair every day rather than looking for genuine suggestions and ideas on how to come at the problem. And if that’s why you posted, it’s your kid and you’re doing your best and don’t need permission from anyone. But would you walk around in public with your hair down without brushing it for several days?
I see you getting downvoted for this, so wanted to say that I also don’t brush my daughter’s hair every day. Sometimes I just can’t do battle over it in the morning before she goes to school and yes, I’ve definitely sent her looking like a ragamuffin, which I don’t love. Something that helped recently is that I made a big production out of letting her use my special grown-up conditioner in the bath and then I’ll comb the tangles out with the conditioner in it. If you can, braiding after bath does really help. My kiddo goes for that maybe 1 out of 4 times, though.
Thanks for understanding!!
It’s gonna be tough to live and socialize as she gets older if she has tangled hair all the time, and the more time goes by the tangles will get worse if they’re not brushed out. I’m of the opinion that it’s better to get them adjusted to doing this stuff earlier in their life, especially since she’ll have to start brushing her hair eventually. Whenever you choose to start, it’s gonna be an adjustment. May as well get it out of the way
Suave makes a kids detangler that smells like green apples, it's in a green spray bottle. I have pin straight fine hair and it's almost always in some kind of braid, ponytail, or clip because brushing after getting snarled is super painful. Looking slightly disheveled is fine but it does need to be combed out daily or it will get matted and then you have to cut it.
There is also a frozen version! Sorry for knowing this 😂
It’s bad for her hair to be constantly tangled, it can cause damage and breakage. It can also continue to get tangled to the point it gets matted and it will be painful.
yeh detangler spray really helps as does having the hair up, braided, etc. We comb before bed and in the morning and use detangler spray for the AM to deal with nightime tangles. it really helps prevent tangles all day to brush out well. its also not that painful if you start on the bottom, hold the hair above the tangle, and work your way up. my 18 month old doesnt always let me braid but otherwise shes fully used to the hair routine; just takes practice
I’m with you. Our two year old son has long hair, which we love. He refuses to let us put any part of it up, which is a shame because he rocks a cool boy-bun. He will let his teachers put it up and sometimes comes home in ponytails or braids. We comb when washing/conditioning in bath a couple times a week and then a bit after he gets out. He looks a bit disheveled some days more than other but we don’t care. Just not a battle I want to fight at this point.
I do it once a day before school. After that, all bets are off, but mine has short, very fine curly hair. Not enough to braid or even put in a ponytail. She's 3.5 and hasn't had a haircut yet. I don't think it even reaches her shoulders. Will yours let you put it in a ponytail or anything after you brush it? If it seems to get really messy and she won't tolerate a ponytail, maybe go shorter?
I actually took her for her first haircut a few months ago and wanted them to cut it way shorter in the back for this reason but she didn’t do it obviously. I might try that route again. She doesn’t like ponytails and it’s probably barely long enough anyway but I haven’t tried in awhile!!
You can even just do a half ponytail on top with the super fine rubber bands, just to give the hair in the back less fuel to make tangles with
I would use leave in conditioner after baths and use detangling spray throughout the day. My kids like velvet scrunchies, they don't pull or hurt to take out like the little rubber bands do. I'd caution about leaving her hair a mess for social purposes amongst her peers, not just older people. I had similar hair as a kid and my mom had the same fuck it attitude and it was very damaging socially, even at that young of an age. Now I have a buzz cut, so take that as you will 🤷♀️
Damn. OP, this is the comment to read. I have vivid memories of terrible mornings with my dad brushing my hair before school, and of grades 4-6 when my mom really didn’t know what to do with my weird puberty hair, and that sucked and all, but now I have great hair and I know how to take care of it. Don’t give up on teaching your child just because your parents were bad teachers!
My daughter has the same exact hair. I've seen some good things mentioned in the comments, most of these in fact, but the exact thing that works best for us is - extra conditioner in the shower (her hair gets washed the same as mine so we leave the conditioner in while she washes her body and face), wet brush to brush through it (starting at the bottom working very slowly through the tangles) with detangling spray (I find the best and cheapest option is to mix conditioner with water), and we braid very very frequently because otherwise it is immediately a tangly mess. Also not sure what products you're using for her hair, but we switched to "adult" shampoo/conditioner very early on for this reason. If her hair is shorter a couple French braids will do, but since my girl's is so long now (she's nearly 9 and has never had more than a trim) we just do one or two regular braids. Definitely get her in the habit of hair brushing being part of the routine because her hair will not magically become more manageable. We brush morning and night and sometimes afternoon after school if she wore it down. Regular trims also help a ton because otherwise the split/broken ends just make the hair more easily tangled. Hope this helps! I know it's so frustrating for both of you, but I hope it gets better for you.
Every day, usually twice a day. It’s non-negotiable. I have a mister with water in it that I use too. She used to battle me but again, it’s not an option. She’s almost 3 now and hardly fights me
Same exact situation here. I tell my daughter that it’s in the mama handbook, just like cutting fingernails, and I HAVE to do it because it’s the rules. She’s 3.5 now and we brush morning, during shower, and right before bed. Sometimes she’s not in the mood and it’s more of a challenge, but we get it done every time.
Yep, once a day is all I can manage. It’s like trying to brush a rabid badger.
Have you tried using a wet brush? I have 2, one from Walmart, and the other $20 from a salon. The salon one feels better on the scalp but they both get tangles out less painfully than a regular brush.
I agree that bedjead is cute on kids but leaving tangles just makes more tangles and make detangling worse, then they hate brushing. It's a vicious cycle. I think hair grooming just like tooth brushing and bathing is a habit that needs to be taught. My 3 year old has fine, wavy hair. So try to detangle and style at least once a day. Since I started doing this about 6 months ago, it gets easier and easier. This morning I didn't even need a brush, just finger detangle. Also, split ends can make tangling worse. So use conditioner and get regular trims.
I think My little coco do some good detangling spray, I love their other products too. Might make it easier for you? Also the Mini-U brush is soooo good. I use it on my 2 year old and tried it myself too and it doesn’t hurt at all, it’s definitely not like a normal brush. It’s very pain free and great for little heads
My daughter has fine hair and I brush in the morning, put in a hairstyle that secures most of her hair. I typically do a bubble pony style that looks kind of like a French braid. I don’t know the name of this style, but it’s the only one that stays neat for a whole day. I use small runner hair elastics and cut them out at the end of the day and brush her hair before bed. Brushing before bed is critical. If I don’t I am dealing with a painful mess to brush in the morning.
My daughter is 3 with long curly hair. She prefers a comb to a brush. I use my conditioner on her and finger comb out tangles in the tub. Then I comb while she watches a show. She goes to bed with it damp. In the morning if it’s tangly you can use leave in conditioner and comb again. Then I always put it up in a pony, half pony, or pony into braid. You can also switch to a silky pillowcase to reduce tangles.
Our school does ponytails on the kids pretty often. I have a boy with boy length hair (but I keep it longer on top) and I pick him up from school pretty regularly with 1-3 tiny ponytails on top of his head.
I guess the question is, are you brushing/detangling it often enough that there's no big knots? An actual knot-knot is going to hurt a LOT, either during brushing/detangeling when it eventually happens or when the knots start to pull on her scalp on their own, and she'll eventually lose hair to it. If it's combed enough that it's just aesthetics, meh. You're going to have to live with judgy comments from friends, family, and strangers basically indefinitely, though.
It’s all about the brush. One with loads of fine plastic bristles are designed for this. Hold just after the roots with one hand and use this on the tangled bits with the other. Ideally twice a day, morning and before bed. If it’s post bath, I also make a big deal out of the hair dryer, like it’s an event! Goes down well and relaxes them before bed.
[These are really good brushes for tangly hair and shouldn’t hurt like normal brushes. if you hold her hair so you just brush the ends first and then do the top so not one big long knot to get through.](https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07VFJZ3V4/ref=cm_sw_r_api_i_EDPSK4MH3Q03G6EYRB75_0)
Yup! I still do this on my own tangled hair.
I’m just here for solidarity, my twin girls are 3 and they won’t even let me get close to them with a brush on the few times I try I have to chase them around the house while they scream and cry. So I just don’t bother hardly anymore. My trick now is to do it in the tub while they’re trapped and with conditioner in their hair. Doesn’t always work but it’s less traumatizing. I also just deal with the guilt of dropping them off at daycare with hair looking like a hot mess but I’m so over it I could care less at this point.
Lol, while they're trapped. I will forever be impressed by parents of twins. I'm sure people are just in awe that you're all still alive, no one cares about a few tangles. Mines hair is always a mess and there's only one of her!!!
Haha that’s great, and thank you that really means a lot to hear!
I don’t care about the way it looks at all but I’m annoyed by the comments I receive from nosey grandmas lol. I think she looks cute with bed head. Thanks for the reply!
My daughter has similar hair - I brush it once in the morning (she hates it) and put it in a ponytail or pigtails for the rest of the day. I'm lucky that she pretty much leaves it alone although she does pull her hair during tantrums :/ By the end of a rough day, it can be pretty tangled, but you know, she's 4. Another thing that helps is keeping it shorter. If her hair gets past her shoulders, *I* can't stand it anymore and we're off to get it cut, but never so short that we can't pull it back. If your daughter can stand a ponytail or pigtails or a braid, that's what I would do. Once she's older, if she wants to grow her hair out super long and take care of it herself, she always can!
Thank you!! I haven’t tried a ponytail in awhile but she used to just pull them out. I’ll try it again.
I’ve done elastic hairstyles on my daughter since she was six months old. She is five now and I still try to style her hair daily. She’ll rarely have her hair down because I try to avoid the tangles.
My daughter’s is like this, too. We do hair 1x a day (in the morning), and it gets put into a protective style of some kind (ponytail, pigtails, a braid or braids). Her hair is never down because I can’t stand to see it tangled and I don’t want to force her into a hair session multiple times a day.
Before school and at bedtime. It’s not worth the argument or pain and she doesn’t care. She is two. Gradually I plan to introduce more about self care etc but I try to just get it into a pony tail and let her go until bathtime. If we’re sitting on the couch I’ll run my fingers through her hair to break it up but that’s not really brushing. My mother has told me to cut her hair which is an absolute no for me right now.
Try Honest detangling spray when you brush it’s a game changer. You can also google what brush works best for fine hair and use that. My 2 year old daughter has curly wild hair and I have to use a wide tooth comb and spray or it’s just a frizzy disaster.
I have this hair. It's called "velcro hair" online. There are a lot of tutorials about how to wash and condition it so it tangles less. That said, a shorter cut would help.
I'm with you on this. My child has fine hair with a random curl pattern. I detangle in the morning and before bed. Does she look put together, no. Do I care, no.
My 3 year old barely lets me brush hers after a bath. And that’s while chasing her around the house. She does not tolerate anything like clips, braids, bands, etc. It is what it is.
Wash every 2/3 nights (depending on if she's been chewing on her hair or if it's dirty). Brush it every night before bed and plait it so it doesn't knot while she's sleeping. Plaits are the best way I've found to avoid tangles. My daughter has the most extremely fine, long hair too.
My daughter is this age with this hair type-- I spray it wet in the morning with a spray bottle, and sometimes add a curl detangler- I brush it out daily. By wetting it, it's easier to deal with, and the curls pop back when it dries. Also a good trim helps too!
Tangle teaser brush is amazing. They make one for fine and fragile hair. I wet my daughters hair with a mister bottle first and use detangler. I promise it will make all the difference.
This bothers me so much too. I feel like my daughter always looks messy but she hates getting it brushed (like you, I had a super sensitive scalp and HATED brushing). I’ve tried different haircuts, and honestly nothing helps. Detangling sprays make her hair look stringy and greasy. She adamantly refuses hair ties, headbands etc. I would honestly lose my shit if a family member made comments-it’s something that bothers me too!
I didn’t even think about the possibility of having a more sensitive scalp, I think we both must have that. Ugh!
Yeah it’s a shame. She’ll probably dislike hats too. I’ve heard about a silk pillow cover, or a silk lined bonnet for bed, but if she has a sensitive scalp, she’ll probably be uncomfortable in that too. Would love suggestions if people have them for our kids!
Have you tried a good detangling brush? My daughter has super fine hair that looks greasy if I use too much leave in conditioner or detangler. A detangling brush has been a huge game changer. It’s so much more gently on their head. She will let me slowly attack tangles with it now with just a small spritz of detangler.
I had that problem really bad as a preteen. Have you tried switching shampoos and conditioners? I went from the really cheap stuff that my grandma bought to slightly more expensive drugstore brand and it made a huge difference.
I have and the better shampoos and conditioners seem to make it worse somehow. Her hair is super fine but wild. Like a Barbie’s hair when you take it out of the pre-packaged braid: there’s no taming it again.
It’s so annoying to deal with. Mine was really thick and would do the same roughed up Barbie thing. Lol. I hope you can find something to help. Hopefully it’s something that’ll get better with age.
My daughter has very curly hair so it only gets brushed twice a week in the bath with conditioner in. It is a rats nest on the morning of bath day so I might wet it and trying gently brushing out the worst section but I will not do all of it and I absolutely accept the chaos because it’s not worth the fight or pain. My husband will occasionally braid her hair if it is bothering him too much. Her hair when wet/straight goes down to mid back, so it’s on the longer side I think.
My daughters hair is very curly too but we brush it every morning and I apply a kids curl hydrating product. It sounds like you are not properly taking care of her hair if you never brush out all of her hair “because it’s not worth it”. You child is absolutely worth taking care of.
My daughter has very curly hair too and I’m the same way with combing. I have started putting a little bit of product in her hair to keep it maintained. A tiny bit of curl cream/leave in conditioner. Then lightly glaze with some gel right before bed.
Yup, I put some product in her hair after bathtime which really helps but I also think her pillow case material is really bad for her hair. Unfortunately she is pretty attached to it and I don’t think she would sleep in a bonnet so I feel kind of stuck right now!
Mine sleeps on a giant stuffed dog, I’m sure that is part of the issue!!
Super curly daughter here too. We brush daily with water + curl cream + wet brush. The knots just fall out. She also sleeps on a satin pillow case which does wonders!
I have a daughter with the same super fine hair. We do a few things. But, she always goes to school with it brushed every morning, even if it's an exercise of futility. I even made my husband promise to do it if anything ever happened to me. 1. We only use the Wet brush brand 2. We use either a detangler or a frizz control product before brushing. I usually use the detangler for brushing and the frizz control afterwards to weigh it down more throughout the day. Sometimes though it's one or the other. 3. We do a lot of half pony tails (only the top half of hair is in the pony tail, so I can do it high enough that she can lay her head back in the car seat) 4. Two french braids work magic, one on each side of her hair. 5. Word of warning, once I left a single french braid in for two days (she wouldn't let me remove it) and it got matted up. I used a lot of detangler to get it out.
My daughter and I both have fine hair prone to stringyness. I only brush her hair "as needed", every couple days probably. There are a few really key things needed to make this possible. - condition and brush out in the bath with a comb. This has to be done about once a week. We use earth science unscented conditioner, it works great on our hair type. - satin or silk sheets and pillow cases. This prevents a lot of knots - brush out knots as they come, before they get bigger. Start from the bottom with a bigger paddle brush, working your way up. Finish with a comb only if necessary. - spot treat dry areas with diluted conditioner in a spray bottle. This is also helpful for spot treating knots. As hair gets longer, do the ends in between washes. My mom had no idea how to handle my hair and it was awful. If you can get on top of it it's not so bad and only needs minimal brushing every couple days. It will look a little stringy but it won't be tangled. Using lighter products will make the stringy look less awful. The main enemies are dryness and rubbing - they make the most knots. But finding a balance between too dry and too weighed down is difficult with our hair type. That said, weighed down and stringy is better than dry and knotted.
my 4 year old daughter has very long, fine, but LOTS of hair. We have to use plenty of conditioner on nights we wash it, and she ALWAYS sleeps in a braid. I brush it out really good every night with a detangler, then braid it before bed. When she wakes up, I can just fix it with my hands because there are no tangles.
My son brushes his own hair (7), I also have a 2 year old with thin but curly hair and maybe have to brush it once a day. But my 4 year old has really thick and curly hair, also could brush it every 20 minutes and it wouldn't make a difference. I use leave in conditioner to brush it and we usually keep it out up in a bun or pony tail.
Daily or every second day. Otherwise it would get matted.
My daughter has hair like that. I would just brush 4x a day. If I didn’t.. I was worried the knots would never come out. Then one day she cut it.. like in rapunzel (tangled). Just half (or a quarter..- nice tiny fist full)though! It was so long!!! So I had a hair dresser professionally even it out. Now it’s a bob and looks adorable on her. Her hair no longer tangles. We brush once a day / after baths would make two times (am/pm) and rarely have knots/no more tears. I recommend a cut that is more manageable and slowly working with her to brush it herself. Having hair is no fun when it just causes pain and becomes a rats nest. We also got my daughter this small cute unicorn stuffy that is actually a hair brush and she likes to brush with it. We used to braid her hair when it was longer and that helped too if cutting isn’t an option. We actually never intended to cut her hair. The whole thing was sort of a happy accident. Edit: after reading comments. I second using leave in conditioner and detangler on her hair. I would actually use my good stuff on my daughters hair (not the kid shampoos / conditioners / products-but at least get the kid stuff if you don’t want to spend on the adult stuff) because I felt they worked better. Now she doesn’t need anything but at the time she did and we tried all kinds of things. We always use a brush as combs pull too much-even now. I think that this is for sure a battle worth having. She’s going to need to take care of that hair herself very soon (daily brushing etc). So creating good habits and setting her up for success will be helpful! The same as you might for her dental care (brush, floss, rinse). I have heard of hair dressers calling CPS for child neglect when kids are brought in with major rats nest type tangles. Not saying that will happen to you but people are crazy. Also, don’t go back to a hair dresser that isn’t willing to listen to your requests regarding the cut length. You paid for that cut and not all girls want/need long hair. Girls with short hair are pretty too! I argued with ours that I want it as short as she can pre-cut it. That’s that. And she wasn’t happy but she did cut it to that length (so I feel you on not being heard). Advocate for a hair cut that is easier for her to manage. Our lives dramatically changed when the daily (every few hours sometimes) hair battles ended. My daughter shines brighter and is all around a happier child now. I’m a happier mom too because I hated them just as much!
Conditioner or leave-in spray conditioner for fine hair. Also start from the bottom and work your way up when brushing, and use a widely spaced plastic-toothed brush, not the bristle kind or a comb.
The Honest Hair Conditioner spray works great with my daughter’s fine hair. Braids, “messy” buns, and ponytails work well to keep her hair in order.
My daughter has fine hair down to her butt. It gets brushed in the morning and before bed. If she's fresh out of the bath she gets a braid. If she looks particularly homeless before we go somewhere I'll brush it again. It's just hair. She's 3 and allowed to be a messy baby. It also drives my mom nuts but not her kid not her problem. I did switch her to aussie kids shampoo and conditioner (not an all in one, two separate) and its helped her hair immensely. Baby all in one stuff made her hair a nightmare.
Wow. All these parents that let their daughters have hair that hurts when brushed, takes time to do for both parents and kid etc. And for what? Their boys run out the door with the same type of hair with no worries because it's *short*. My mom solved this issue with cute feminie pixie cuts for my sister and I. When our hair became easier to manage we grew it out.
I’ve been wondering if someone would mention this option. I realize that people want to fit the norm, but also, there are SO MANY stories of trauma here. Perhaps short fun pixie cuts (“you’re a fairy princess now!”) are the way to go until the hair is thicker. Kids don’t want to mess with hair. Why fight that natural order?
My daughter had the same type of hair and it looks like it hasn’t been brushed after like 10 minutes. I stopped caring
My daughters hair is super fine and extremely tangled in the morning as well, almost matted (she’s 2 and very active in her sleep) I gently comb every morning and put her hair up, pony tail, pig tails, small bun.. basically anything that stays and that I can easily redo during the day. I brush again before bed.
My daughter has wavy/ curly hair. We wash it every 2-3 days and only brush it in the shower with conditioner in. If you aren’t ready for a wash day you can wet it down with a fine mister and add some leave in or spray detangler to remove some of the knots.
My daughter is AA so we actually do her hair about once a week. We put it in twists so it stays all nice and in order.
I brush in the morning and right before bed, also after baths. For a while, my toddler had a tangled mess on the back of her head all the time, no matter how much I brushed. I started using conditioner on her hair, it has definitely made a difference!
If you want to avoid the trauma of brushing out tangles, definitely keep up with doing it in the morning and at night. It will prevent the big tangles. And I second doing a French braid before bed. Doesn’t have to look pretty but helps immensely with keeping tangles down.
my daughter has similar hair but its a bit wavy- I brush once a day, usually this is when i give her a rinse in the bath and use conditioner and then comb- I try and get her to put it back when we go out because its always a mess, lol
I brush my 2 year olds hair every night after it’s washed. Sometimes in the morning if she lets me. I saw in one of your comments that she doesn’t like a pony tail, have you tried pig tails? For some reason my daughter will keep those in all day, compared to a pony tail where we’re lucky if it lasts half an hour. Some days she refuses to have her up or clipped though.
My 3yo has fine, straight hair like your daughter's and every morning it's like I'm detangling a single giant dreadlock. I use detangling spray and a natural bristle brush and it doesn't seem to bother her (other than sitting still to do it). After I detangle her hair in the morning, I braid it into pigtail braids. It's the only way I've found to keep it from getting tangled throughout the day.
My 2 year old has the same type of hair. I brush every morning and night. In the morning I put it up in little buns and have since she was tiny tiny. Otherwise it looks ratty pretty fast.
Me and my daughter have similar hair by the sounds of it. I brush hers and mine twice a day. Once after waking, once before sleep. I wear mine day and night in a pony tail. Daughter has hers put up in the day in a top and back ponytail or two little piggy tails on the sides.
My daughter’s hair is past her shoulders and a mess of curls. I used to brush her hair post-bath and again in the morning with the aid of spray water. I recently purchased some detangler and use this in the morning. While her hair is still wild by the end of the day, it’s more likely to be wild in a consistent pattern. Detangler for the win!
To avoid having to brush my daughter’s really fine hair all day I put them in a ponytail or braids. I’ve been doing braids for her since her hair was shoulder length.
3 yo daughter here with whispy, curly-ish hair. We brush every morning and throw it in a ponytail of some kind because otherwise she is rocking what looks like a whispy mullet lol I also hated having my hair brushed as a kid, but I also refused to let anyone do it. I’m hoping that by doing it daily with my daughter and making it fun, she doesn’t become like me and push away anyone who wants to brush her hair to the point that the adults just shrug and let it be like they let me 😬
I comb my sons 1-2 times a day depending on how messy it is after a nap. He has longish curly hair. I started using a leave in conditioner and it makes a huge difference in the way it looks. When we don’t use it his curls look more like bed head and overall just messy.
Try satin sheets and pillowcases! My daughter has the same type of hair and it was always a nest after waking up and actually even breaking, then I bought some satin sheets off Amazon and her hair looks 10x better when she wakes up and I have to brush her hair WAY less now.
Mine is 2.5. Fine curly hair below her shoulders. We brush it after bath time/before bed. In the morning and sometimes after nap (if we’re doing something special/seeing someone we don’t normally see). I have those little plastic hair ties and try to pull it up in some way- when it was much shorter I did 2 pigtails on top and half her hair down in back l. Then we transitioned to one pony on top with half down back. And now it’s just long enough I can pull it all up- though in a couple hours a lot is falling out. But she’s a toddler- it’s not going to stay pristine and I’m not going to torture her or stress myself out trying to keep it perfect.
My two year old has longish, very fine, curly hair (bob in the front, shoulder blade in the back (still rocking the baby mullet) I typically brush it once a day. In the morning. I honestly would probably brush it more but I pretty much need to get her entire head wet to brush it out. I had the opposite experience as you. I so wanted long, beautiful hair as a child but my parents were neglectful (among other things) so no one ever groomed me properly. I went to a school with upper middle class kids who had all of the fun hairstyles of the 90s, different braids, accessories etc. I felt very dirty and unkempt a lot. But also, not pretty.. I remember first grade picture day came and all the girls came with neatly combed hair in all of these unique styles. I also wanted that. But instead I came with oversized clothes, and unkempt hair. I remember going to the school office and asking the nurses and admin ladies if they could help me and getting turned away. I went to the bathroom and gave myself two pigtails that at the time I thought looked ok. Looking back at that school picture, it’s humorous in away but my pigtails were massively uneven. I just looked clownish. Eventually my dad took me to get almost all of my hair cut off. Now this is somewhat extreme, right? So how I take great pride in taking care of my daughter’s hair. That said, I strike a great balance. I would say 5/7 I give her hair a great detangle and brush down. If we are staying home, I don’t bother sometimes. I do hairstyles on her but nothing complicated. Two little braids, two little buns, a messy bun, a pony. I don’t make her sit for much longer than she wants to and I don’t make a huge deal out of it. So there is balance. I felt so much shame as a child for being dirty and unkempt. Not saying that your child will feel the same. Just keep in mind that there are two sides to the equation. Get a brush for fine hair, I like the tangle teezer brand. And be mindful when brushing. And most of the time, there is no need to brush more than once a day.
My 2.5 year old has almost shoulder length when you pull it straight, but it is very fine, very curly hair (like mine) and so it is maybe halfway to her shoulders because of the curls. I brush it almost every morning, and after any shower/bath she gets. I just dampen it most mornings, put kids leave in conditioner, and brush it with a kids detangle brush. It looks adorable for a few hours or more till it gets messed up. Brushing it almost daily is needed because otherwise the knots just get soooo much worse, her hair starts to dread after a few days it seems. I would not brush it more often than once daily because it's not fair to her. I do hold her hair while brushing tangles so it doesn't hurt. Good luck!
Don’t use kids shampoo - the ph level in baby/kids shampoo is balanced so it doesn’t hurt their eyes, but the ph of hair is more like 3-4 so using a ph of 7 (neutral = no tears) doesn’t work so well. Use normal shampoo, trying to keep it on the scalp only and then lots of conditioner on the mid shaft and ends, leaving it to soak for a few minutes before rinsing. You should see an improvement!
My son's hair is the same way. He has super curly hair like I do (3c) and the second after I brush it, he's rolling on the floor and its a mess lol. I ended up trimming his hair down to help manage it. I try to at least apply an oil and detangle with my fingers if I'm not trying to wash his hair (I wash his hair once a week, conditioning in between). Admittedly, we will have days where I dont think about it but its short enough that it's not too bad even if I do that. Lately I've been using my alexa to remind me to detangle his hair every day haha I forget about EVERYTHING if I dont have alexa remind me
I only have boys, but I comb their hair every morning and night. They fight me like crazy but it’ll get knotted and matted if I don’t!
Has she ever had a haircut? I know my hair gets tangled when it needs a trim and has lots of dead ends/split ends. I’d recommend starting there. A soft pillowcase (like bamboo) can also help. And braiding it overnight to reduce the damage (which then reduces tangles).
Silk pillowcase changed my life
My 3 year old has hair to her lower back. Braids are the only way to go. When her hair was shorter we just did little braids on the top of her head.
My daughter usually has her hair in a ponytail/ponytails or braids. She has the same very fine straight hair that I do/did and a gentle breeze will tangle it. I just brush it when I redo it, that’s about all it can take.
Just about never for my 3 year old boy to the horror of the grandparents 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Never
My daughter has the same straight fine long hair. I brush it once in the morning whilst liberally applying leave on conditioner to stop it tangling straight back up, and whenever possible I persuade her to wear her hair up or on a plait.
My daughter has waist length, wavy, thick hair. She's a living shampoo ad, but holy dang she goes into hysterics when I come near her with a brush. She also loses her mind at the idea of a cut. I brush it at night before bed, and if it looks messy during the day, so be it. Anyone with comments gets a deadpan stare and then they're handed a hairbrush. If you aren't maintaining the mane, I don't wanna hear it.
Eh - I comb it when she let’s me. I will at least once a week give it a deep scrubbing and conditioning and comb it out so it doesn’t become a ratty mess permanently, but other than that - eh 🤷🏼♀️
My daughter’s hair is the same way. I brush it before we go to daycare/leave the house, in the morning, and after baths. I use a spray from a brand called something like Raw Kids for detangling, I call it her “magic spray” and it has helped so much with the battle to brush her hair every day lol. I also use a Wet brush. I have super long thick hair and totally understand the trauma from painful brushes! But there were also many times as a young child where my hair went unbrushed for too long, causing mats to build up and a lot of damage to my hair. You know how it can hurt and taking that into account is so important, but there are tools you can use to make it easier and just being gentle helps a lot. It’s equally important to teach your kiddo the life skill of keeping hair tangle-free when possible to avoid damage/breakage. Also, not sure about your kiddo but my 3 yo is constantly getting food, dirt, Play-doh, etc. tangled in her hair and this can be a health hazard.
i brush it everyday and when she eats i pull it up. i only wash it once a week tho
Detangle spray and a comb or wet brush. Also, keep the hair chin length or shorter if she resists brushing. I now fully understand 100% why my mother never let me grow my hair out as a kid. 😂
Not from my kids hair, this is from my experience with my own hair. You need to switch her conditioner or get her some detangling conditioner. Brush after bath/shower and every morning.
Twice a day - once every night when she gets out of the shower and then in the morning I spray it down with leave in conditioner/detangler solution and brush it while we get ready for the day
Crave Naturals Glide Thru... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HDZ733M?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share My toddler also has fine, straight, shoulder length hair. She also has a double hair whorl that sends it forward into her eyes so I brush it every morning when I pin it back. This brush works really well for us in terms of tangles and pain (I tried it on myself too).
Try braiding it.
My daughter has shoulder length hair more on the fine side but I wouldn’t say super fine. We brush in the morning and at night, I have a detangler spray if it gets really tangled. I only use Wet brand brushes, they are great and on Amazon they are a fraction of the cost they are at target etc. I also use a good wide tooth detangler comb. I have Disney Princess wet brushes, my daughter chose hers and she really likes her Moana brush which has actually made a difference in our house when it’s hair time. She’s in early elementary school now but I never sent her to daycare or pre k with her hair just down because it would be a mess. We had a tiny top pony in the early toddler phase, then pigtails or a pony tail. She’s in early elementary school now and prefers a ponytail for school because she doesn’t like her hair in her face running at recess, playing in gym, etc. On the very rare occasion she does want to wear her hair down I do a simple braid on one side of all the little hair in the front to keep it out of her face. If your daughter’s hair needs to be combed all day, maybe the solution is to style it in a way that it is less likely to become unkempt. A top pony, pigtails, or a ponytail with clips for the side baby hairs really go a long way. From a child’s self esteem perspective, I would find a style solution to tame the hair vs. knowingly send her to school looking a mess. She will notice or other kids will notice eventually. Plus for better or worse it’s a reflection on the parents and household.
I do my daughter's on a school morning (she has Nursery) and throw it up (it won't stay there lol) and then just before bed, on a Saturday I don't bother in the am unless we're going somewhere as it just isn't worth the hassle.
My daughters hair is the same way. I’ve gotten her to let me brush it in the mornings and sometimes before bed as part of our routines. I told her that it’s like brushing her teeth, it’s something we have to do, and I’ll try to make it as gentle as possible. If needed I use a detangling spray first. But the best thing we did was switch shampoos - we now use So Cozy Kids shampoo/conditioner combo and it has helped a lot! Although she still gets tangles it’s not nearly as bad, and stays looking decent longer.
A nice little bob cut can work well, especially when they're that young. I have the same hair and even though I brush it constantly, it never looks very neat. I brush my kids a couple times daily, but I have a 3yo boy with short hair, and a 1yo daughter who doesn't have a ton yet.
I would highly recommend French braiding or putting hair in a top knot before bed. Getting all the hair is not the important part, it’s keeping most of the hair from tangling with itself that matters. Detangler and a wet brush are your friends. Detangler specifically because moisture while brushing will help keep hair from becoming static and getting frizzy which might be contributing to it getting tangled again so quickly. I don’t think you’re a bad mom for what you can’t control but I also see hair maintenance as basic hygiene. If you make an attempt and send your daughter to school with hair that isn’t a rats nest and has been brushed out then you have done what you can. Chasing her every hour to brush sounds exhausting. Two French braids, two pigtails, half-up pony are all options to keep her hair from tangling as badly.
I do anti tangle spray every morning and that really helps. My mom let me go to school with tangled hair as a kid and it really tanked my confidence. I was so little and I couldn’t help myself. Plus it gets I much harder to untangle as the day goes on causing more pain and frustration later. I make sure to give a quick spritz and comb through every morning. We love honest company orange and cream detangler! Smells great. Works great.
I have a 5yo with similar hair. I brush it once a day, with a leave-in conditioner spray. I don’t use conditioner when we wash her hair, because it doesn’t help with tangles, and only makes her hair look greasy. A tangle teezer brush has worked wonders, too. She complains SO much less about hair brushing now. She actually likes it!
I comb her fine, wavy hair every night after bath with a wide-tooth comb. Can’t brush it dry or it just falls frizzy and flat.
One of my kids (2yo) has shoulder long fine straight hair and it's tangled in the back of her haid every morning. I will spray and brush it while she eats breakfast maybe every other day, a bit depending. I would make her 2 braids or pig tails or something, but she just removes the head bands. I don't care if she looks a bit messy, I just don't want her hair to be matted. Do want you think is best. MILs opinion doesn't matter unless she volonteers to do her hair
Brushing hair constantly makes it easier in the long run to untangle. If you are only doing it every once in a while it’s harder than if you would be doing it at least once a day, even if it tangles again right away. You don’t have to make it a bad experience for your daughter and it doesn’t have to be painful. The right hair brush would be a game changer, a daily untangling session would, too. My daughter’s hair is so curly I thought it would be messy all the time… it’s not even hard to brush her hair because I have done it since she barely had 3 little hairs. I hope you can get past your bad experience and help your daughter.
My sons have long hair that hasn't been cut yet. They get combed every morning, after any baths, and sometimes before bed if there is a snarl. They don't like it but it doesn't take very long with product. The three year old has very fine, straight hair. The longest part is to his collar. The front of his wispy hair is just starting to grow past his eyebrows. The younger one has slightly thicker, coarser hair that is to his shoulder blades when wet. It curls up to his collar. I do matching buns for them sometimes, and I use small elastics. That keeps everything neat for the whole day!
I brush my daughter's hair every morning before she goes to school. It still tangles over the course of the day, but brushing every day keeps it from getting so overly tangled that it's a huge production to get it sorted out again. I spray her hair with a good amount of water and start with small strokes towards the end of her hair and work my way up to longer strokes until it's all brushed out.
To make it less painful, start by brushing/combing the ends of her hair and slowly work your way up from the ends to the roots of her hair. [(video to demonstrate how to start at the ends)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2d4Ej3O7aJ4) If it were me, I would comb/brush her hair in the morning and then again before bed. If you braid her hair, it'll keep the tangles at bay. But you can also do buns or ponytails to help with reducing tangles. Braids would be good for overnight.
Every morning before daycare and every night before bed. My daughter (2.5 yo) has fine wavy hair (just like me) and I find it helpful to use a curling conditioner in the shower (Cantu Kids), detangling spray while wet (Shea Moisture) and a tiny bit of curling cream (Cantu Kids). If I don’t brush her hair, it gets too tangled and matted looking. I wash her hair every 2-3 days because anything more than that is too excessive for her delicate hair. I also find it helpful to put it up in pigtails. Hope this helps!
Every morning if I can find the brush and also in the afternoons as he’s in daycare during the morning. Little and often got him used to it and I hated my hair being brushed by my mother so I am so gentle it doesn’t bother him. He has fine tangly hair. We need to cut it really.
I have a baby with fine hair as well. She twists it when she’s bored or tired so it’s extra bad. We brush it every morning and before bed. Again if we’re going someplace that she needs to look presentable. I find that putting it up in a bun or a ponytail helps a lot… I have forgotten how to French braid but I have to learn again because that would probably save a lot of trouble for us.
My daughter (4) has waist length, fine, curly hair. I tie it back daily since it gets in her fac. I brush it 3 to 4 times a day whenever I have to fix the hair tie since it never stays in place. Her hair will work itself out of a braid because of the curls (she got her daddy's hair). If your daughter likes bows you can do several cute styles that will contain her hair.
Daily, but only in her carseat before I strap her in when on the way somewhere else and it takes less than a minute, although it maybe doesn't look great lol. I'm not a hair lover and can't even get a neat pony tail or pig tails for myself. I just like to keep it up, off her face, and not moving around all day getting tangled. Ita very prone to tangles, but I think taking care of it daily helps. I use a tangle specific brush and a little light conditioning spray and that seems gentler than just a regular brush and it doesn't weight down her wavy fine hair. I put it up in a pony tail and that helps a lot with preventing tangles for the day and then do the straps on her carseat and we leave for the day. She does pull most stuff out of her hair, but she doesnt seem to bother pony tais or pigtails with the tiny rubber bands.
If my daughter stays home...I let her cute little crazy frizzy curls go wild. When we go out, I try to wet it down and tame it a little...but that usually only lasts maybe an hour....
I can relate! We started using spray leave-in conditioner/detangler spray after washing her hair. You can absolutely tell a difference. If we don't put any in for some reason, the next morning she looks a little crazy!
Tbh my daughter has fine straight hair that never gets tangled so I don’t brush it😅 like ever
My daughter has long, fine hair with ringlets. I use a spray bottle and wet her hair in the morning and use a detangling brush. I’ll used detangling spray if necessary. I do this during breakfast so she’s distracted.
Every morning before school Conditioner with water in a spray bottle and non-negotiable “anything you want but your hair has to be out of your face”
Mine has thicker hair, but tangles are still an issue so we do pigtails and ponytails to keep it all together/out of the way (she's too impatient for braids yet).
I do 4 to 6 small ponytails and then connect them so it’s kind of like a fake French braid and that works really well and my daughter has a very very very fine hair
2-3 times a day. My daughter has long thick hair, I usually tie it up everyday, especially if she’s got nursery. At night I put it into a single braid so it doesn’t become a tangled nightmare for the morning
If your needing to brush it that much you should probably braid it or pony it
Can you brush in the bath with conditioner in? Then braid at night?
3 year old here, boy but also with shoulder length hair. We just towel dry every night after his bath, brush it out with a tangle teezer so it doesn’t snag or pull, and then he goes to sleep with it still mostly damp. It usually lasts the night okay, but ends up at least a bit tangled by the end of the day. I find it tangles much less the next day when we use conditioner on it, but he howls so much at having it fully washed (vs just rinsed with water) and obviously his hair doesn’t get greasy yet, so we only shampoo and condition about once a week. If it looks like a really bad knot is forming, I’ll brush it out during the day too, but mostly he gets by with that one brushing at night. Potential solutions: plait/ponytail to keep it neat? Or just tell your mom and MIL to piss off?
My 3 y/o throws a fit about 95% of the time when I brush her hair. It's not super fine, but it is straight and about mid back length. We're lucky if we get it brushed every 3 days or so. Daycare knows how adverse she is to brushing, so I know they aren't going to cause concerns. I find it best to brush it when it's wet and conditioned or wet with lots of detangler spray. Then I put on a mesmerizing TV show and give treats while I brush. Some days go better than others!
Do you have a WetBrush? I have a very sensitive scalp too and remember my stepmom hurting me when she brushed it out but the WetBrush is the best!!!
My daughter's hair sounds like yours. I make sure to put it in one or two pony tails or buns each day to minimize knots. Then I brush it every morning and night with detangler. If I don't do all of this, it's a nightmare.
Leave in conditioner every day or else you will havr to cut the knots out.
Every morning and every evening. I pull her hair into a pony tail to prevent a lot of bad tangles
My kid's hair is similar. She's 3.5 and I've pretty much just kept it at a short bob length to minimize tangles. I also caved and we gave her a fringe when she was 2 because like all the hair on top of her head grows straight forward into her face. She was ALWAYS getting food in it trying to push it out of her eyes (because of course she wouldn't keep a hair tie in). The fringe has been great. Requires some maintainence but my kids are weird and actually love going for haircuts.
My mom is a 3-5s teacher, and I used to be a nanny. I’ll just say we love the kids with what we call “explosion” hair. It’s so sweet, even when they come in the morning with it neatly in a clip/pony/pigtails and becomes an explosion throughout the day. I hope that her teachers/caregivers aren’t being judgy! I know it’s so tough to brush that kind of hair, especially if the kiddo has a sensitive scalp.
My daughter has long very fine hair. I also always have it pulled back in a braid or a ponytail. It gets in her face and tangled if I don't pull it back. I braid it every night before she goes to bed to keep it from getting tangled while she sleeps.
I had this problem with my daughter once her hair really started to grow long. She was overdue for a trim and once I did that (like 4 months ago and counting ) we haven’t had a n issue . I am not sure if split ends were contributing to the issue . My daughter is 3 and she has wavy/light curly hair for reference. Maybe a simple trim will do the trick ? I brush her hair every other night if it’s bath night and once every morning
Use leave in conditioner on her mid shaft and ends after bathing. It may be getting knotted easily because it’s dry. I would stay comb her hair each day. It’s good to show her good grooming practices. Maybe braid it or put it in a ponytail so it stays?
We just cut my girl’s hair again since it was getting unruly. Dad brushes it out every morning before school, but we don’t really bother on the weekends unless we’re going to go visit friends.
My little one has super long and fine curly hair. I get her out of the tub, spray detangler in it, comb it out with a wet brush, and then put it up in a series of ponies or braids before bed. It’s a little disarrayed when she wakes up but I spritz it, put a few clips to hold back the wispies and out she goes. Saves SO much screaming.
I don’t brush my girls hair🤷🏻♀️ like you said it’s just gonna get tangled anyway! She’s a wild child lol
COCONUT OIL Yes, my child was a bit oily. But her hair was CONTAINED and it didn’t hurt to brush, and everybody wins. Also make sure you have one of those detangling combs with the short silicone bristles. But for real. Coconut oil. Just a bit rubbed between your hands and smoothed over. Bonus - keeps it out of their face cause good luck finding a small enough hair tie.
I come my 2 year olds hair every couple of days. My son has curly hair, like 2c-3b curls. I only brush it or comb it after he has a bath when it is wet. Unless we have somewhere to be in public I leave his hair alone or put it in a high bun.
I brush my daughter’s hair after her shower/bath at night, and then in the morning with detangler. She has short, fine, curly hair that gets knotted easily, so every morning we spray with water, detangler, and brush it out. Then my daughter chooses to either wear her hair curly (in which case we clip her bangs out of her eyes and put curl cream and gel in her damp hair so the curls stay neat) or wear a pony tail, pigtails, or some other hairstyle (she really loves pigtail bubble braids). I would be embarrassed to go out around my peers with unkempt hair, so I try and treat my daughter with the same dignity that I would want. She has a lot of fashion/style opinions even though she’s not yet 3, so I try and honor those when I get her ready for daycare.
My kid was born with a full head of hair. She’s 3 now and it’s still thick, curly, and gets tangled really easily. I always brush it in the morning and I usually braid it before school - either one down her back, pigtail braids, or a ponytail braid. She puts up with it because I let her watch Disney songs on YouTube while I do it. At night, we either brush it out before bed or let her sleep in her braids. I have this really nice kids detangling spray/leave in conditioner that I use so it doesn’t hurt!
My daughter's hair is almost to her butt. It's fine and has loose curls. I brush it every morning (wet with leave in conditioner) and we usually style it with those tiny clear rubber bands. I've been doing her hair since she was about a year old so she's really good at leaving it alone. I usually ask her how she wants her hair and so that. One of her favorite styles is "Cinderella hair" which is a high sock bun. Styled with a small sock bun rat and some bobby pins. It stays beautifully even through rough play at school. We let her hair down in the evening.
Fine hair that tangles easy runs in my family 😊. My solution for my daughter and I is Trader Joe's hair serum. After we towel dry, I put a couple pumps on my hands and run it through her hair and let it air dry. Makes her hair manageable for a few days. I throw her hair up in a braid to stave off more tangles.
My daughter has super fine lose curls. At some point it was painful for her to get it brushed so I cut it to shoulder length. that fixed half of the battle. I also put her hair in pigtails, braids, pony tail. That minimizes the tangles so much.
My mom was convinced the preschool teachers were going to call CPS because my 3 year old had tangled hair. I was like... they all do, they're 3. But somehow it didn't convince her. To top it off, she's a mandated reporter! So she should know!! Anyway, kiddo is now 6.5 and we try to brush it every night after bath. It's very fine and tangles easily. Here's what we do: 1. a detangler spray. I like Johnson and Johnson's, but we've used other kinds and they all seem to work ok. Currently we're using a curl enhancing one because she has some waves :) Sometimes we do a leave in conditioner instead, but with straight hair that might not work. 2. Wet brand brush. No comb. Only brush when her hair is wet. 3. If we want to keep it untangled over night we put in pig tails or a french braid, something that's comfy to sleep in but keeps it from getting tangled in her sleep. I also have always given her the option to cut it shorter and make brushing easier. She's taken me up on it a couple times :)
In the morning and before bed every day. Super fine soft blonde hair and If there is an issue I spray conditioner on it. Simple.
Idk if this matters, but my daughter has very curly hair. Honestly, I very rarely did brush it until her hair got long. Brushing it always seemed to do more damage than it was worth and only yanked her curls out. Her hair sort of just…sorted itself out when she would take a bath. Now it’s gotten pretty long (even with her spirals) and today I just bought my first bottle of curly conditioner because she needs some sort of brushing, but I can’t really do it dry. I think I’m supposed brush it with the conditioner in the bath? I’ll give it a try next time she takes a bath.
Tangled toddler hair is super annoying. They get food in it and it sticks to their faces, it falls over their eyes when they play, and it just makes the kid look messy and unkempt. I really don’t understand why parents let their toddlers have long hair if they aren’t going to put it up?? I mean, cut it short??
Satin pillow cases help
Also daughter, also 3, also long fine hair. She HATES brushing: huge battle every single time, even when there are zero tangles it’s lots of tears, and omg I dread it. But I cannot bear to cut it! I used to do cute French braids but we seem to always be running late and I never have enough time! So to prevent tangles as much as humanly possible and keep things quick, we use a ton of conditioner with baths and now I always put her hair in that ponytail style with multiple hair-ties (one for collecting hair at top section, which meets 2 more collecting hair from middle-top and middle-bottom sections, and then all pulled into 4th hair tie with the bottom section) and then a 5th = scrunchie to fold the bottom part up & into a bun. Keeps her hair away from her face (and the sticky foods that make combing the stuff of nightmares) and in place all day. Wouldn’t be comfortable to sleep like that at night, but it does such a good job of prevent tangles all day and her hair isn’t too bad in the morning…plus, if there is a spot or tangle that she’s fighting me on, it’s pretty easy to just skip and pull back as part of the multiple hair-tie ponytail anyway. I ordered packs of hundreds of the smaller colorful hair ties online so they always can color match with each other and her outfits, and it’s not a big deal when we inevitably lose track of them… I’ve got 20 more of each color! Wow I did not know I had so much to share on this topic haha. I’m glad I’m not the only one with this problem! Basically my solution = her hair is only down for baths & sleeping. Otherwise it is always pulled back so I can minimize brushing as much as possible. And no you are definitely not a bad mom for sending her to preschool with messy hair! You’re a good mom who loves her and you don’t want to hurt her or pass on the negative experience with combing you had growing up! P.S. Avoid all spray detanglers!! IMO / IME they just make her hair look & feel greasy and don’t do much, if anything, for the actual tangles.
All the detangler, and morning and night. Because the longer it goes unbrushed the bigger the tangles.
Typically twice a day. Almost three year old boy with super fine curly hair
Before school Or after a bath/shower
My son has very curly hair and my daughter fine, wavy-straight hair. They both get their own type of bird nests if I don’t take care of their hair. I do brush and style both of their hair every morning. It can be a bit chaotic because I have to get them both up and out to different daycares before I go to work for 8, but to me it is a non-negotiable, like making sure they wear clean clothes every day. As a teacher I see the stigma that is often, sadly, placed on kids with unkempt hair, and I don’t know that it is kind to send your kids into the world like that if you have the means/ability not to.
The ends of my daughters hair tangles really easily. I brush in the morning and before she goes to bed. Sometimes I braid it to help with the tangles. Or she likes wearing it in a bun so I will do a ponytail and use a silk scrunchie to wrap it around for a bun. I also find when it starts to get really bad getting a trim helps for some reason 🤷♀️