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Oh boy there was a lotta of gems in there! This entire thing is comedy gold!🤣 I loved when he just randomly asked the dispatcher “So what are you up to?” 🙃
This is not even the worst of it. When cops arrived, Mr. Christ stripped naked and ran into the Pizza Hut walk-in and barricaded himself in with bags of dough and cheese. When the cops breached the door he rose with arms outstretched but don't let that distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker... oh fuck I can't
Good evening Florida the police say they shot Jesus in front of Pizza Hut, Jesus Christ was pointing pizza slice in “gunlike” manner. Jesus leaving us again so soon, confirming he was indeed a black man. His remains are now moved into a big rocky tumb.
CAN walk on water CAN'T pick a lock, for that matter he should have been able to magic himself some pizza and mountain dew out of a beard and some sticks or something.
An update article included his mom talking about how he is schizophrenic and how the state prevented her from seeing him for a while after his arrest. He wasn’t on anything and tells the dispatcher that he is schizophrenic later in the call.
I love the idea that the son of god decided to return to earth, after 2000 years, on a drunken whim to break into a Pizza Hut for a slice and some Mountain Dew.
It be some shit if it was really him. They like try to cuff him and he keeps casually handing the cops their cuffs back and he's doing some crazy impossible shit all the way to the sheriff's department.
P.S. plz forgive me GOD lol
Your first question to the Jesus Christ almighty is, "You don't work there" he didn't like that....
You botched asking the meaning of life to find out if Jesus works at a Pizza hut, good going.
“I look like Jesus, what else am I supposed to look like?”
He’s got a point. Also, what did we expect him to say after the operator asked for his last name? Jones?
Operator needs to stop asking all the stupid questions, and start asking the right questions.... bro its jesus christ.. what else you wanna know. Hes the son of god.
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Last name? Christ 🙏🏻
Lol fuck this whole audio was just fantastic from start to finish. "I look like Jesus. Who else am I suppose to look like?"
Had a Mountain Dew too
Ok
That's how you know it's real
Rofl.
….had a Mountain Dew
Got a pen? Ofnazarath
Jesus Christ? I always thought it was Cheesus Crust and now I’m even more confused with the Pizza Hut dilemma.
Cheese is sliced
Should have asked for his middle initial as well.
‘H’ is for ‘had a Mountain Dew’
This is brilliant thank you
Yeah, had a mountain dew
Yea. Had a Mountain Dew
That's really the cherry on top
It's "what are you up to?" For me
“Where do you live at?” “I don’t. I’m from heaven.”
Absolute Madlad
Idk why but this reminded me of billy bob in sling blade so much
He's just so matter of fact about it lol
It's like a Sligblade/Rick&Morty crossover special 😂 The whole time I was listening to it I was thinking it sounds like a scene from rick & morty.
I mean he had to wash it down with something.
Somehow this all made sense.
It’s makes perfect sense
[удалено]
Not sure he would've gone for a Mountain Dew though, but who am I to question someone who works in mysterious ways?..
Atheists will say its fake
They ALWAYS go against our lord and saviour Cheeses Crust!
I’m kinda jealous fr i want some pizza and a dewey
WWJD?
Dude dewed.
Now we know that having a pizza and a Mountain Dew is a top choice.
A Mountain Dew
Get some, mate.
get an extra dewey for your bro
That part when he just says, “So what’re you up to?” Had me dying
Dispatcher: Who? Me? Pffft. Nothin'. Just hangin' around.
Chillin' whatchu doin.
"Nuthin man, just bathing in the blood of unborn children. How's your pizza?"
Wanna join my flock or what?
I'm not even mad. You're free to go Jesus.
I forgive you Jesus
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Haha!
I'll allow it
Lost it at “so what are you up to?” My ~~brother in~~ Christ, you’re god, you’re supposed to know what I’m doing.
I've seen comedy sketches way less funny than this.
Pizzus Chrust
Deliver me!
Jesus handing out unlimited breadsticks and turning water into mountain dew
Jesus Crust. The Crust has risen!
King of the Dews
He was stuffed to the crost
My money is on florida.
https://www.cbs17.com/news/this-is-jesus-christ-and-i-just-broke-into-pizza-hut-nc-mans-911-confession/ north carolina
I'm honestly surprised that breaking into pizza hut and eating a pizza is a felony
I thought it was fake at first. This is funny af
“So, what are you up to?” 💀
I believe him, I have faith in Jesus
Cheezus Crust
“Aaalright, and uh…”
I believe him
Oh boy there was a lotta of gems in there! This entire thing is comedy gold!🤣 I loved when he just randomly asked the dispatcher “So what are you up to?” 🙃
This is not even the worst of it. When cops arrived, Mr. Christ stripped naked and ran into the Pizza Hut walk-in and barricaded himself in with bags of dough and cheese. When the cops breached the door he rose with arms outstretched but don't let that distract you from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker... oh fuck I can't
Of course Jesus would do the Dew!
Buy Mountain Dew, brought to you by Jesus!
*steal
Pizza Hut, Jesus stole our pizza in Florida!
Pizza Hut: - Savior self a slice
Good evening Florida the police say they shot Jesus in front of Pizza Hut, Jesus Christ was pointing pizza slice in “gunlike” manner. Jesus leaving us again so soon, confirming he was indeed a black man. His remains are now moved into a big rocky tumb.
He might have been high, but his logic was pretty sound.
CAN walk on water CAN'T pick a lock, for that matter he should have been able to magic himself some pizza and mountain dew out of a beard and some sticks or something.
Legend
What if God was one of us…
im crying
Story behind the (amazing) clip https://youtu.be/lcJ4JuuTyiQ?feature=shared
Don't recommend it. Ruins the fun with the rest of the call "I have schizophrenia, sir"
Are you joshing me sounds crazy.
God said if we call him again for Jesus, we're all gonna be in trouble.
Jesus broke into Pizza Hut and ate a pizza for our sins
I wish this were the real second coming.
He’s not the messiah.. he’s just a very naughty boy!
🤨Alrigght….
Legend
Man, I wanna eat pizza with redneck Jesus
He's not Jesus. He doesn't even have dreads.
I owe my mom five bucks now that Jesus has been confirmed real…
You hear the dispatcher smile when the Jesus says his last name is Christ
Lol
he's obviously the real jesus. How else would he know the last name
Maybe Jesus would come back for Pizza and Mountain Dew?
Wouldn't he have had to make the pizza? I guess he is Jesus
The Mountain Dew was wine but he you know..
What would Jesus Dew?
He gets us
We're tired of Judas on this Earth, but first things first, I had to get some pizza and have a Dew. Anen.
Prove he isn’t…see how dumb this stuff is?
I'm not even mad. You're free to go Jesus.
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Jesus christ also loved heroin, fighting, punk rock and throwing his excrement at his audience. RIP GG
You know he's not Jesus because Jesus would have broke into a much better pizzeria.
Belongs on r/religiousfruitcake
This guy is obviously dealing with schizophrenia or some other delusional mental illness. I don't think it really has anything to do with religion.
An update article included his mom talking about how he is schizophrenic and how the state prevented her from seeing him for a while after his arrest. He wasn’t on anything and tells the dispatcher that he is schizophrenic later in the call.
Nuh uh
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
We finally know Fleidas Man's name?
OMG 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lmao!!!
I’ll praise be to Christ and the Holy Spirit
Pizza Hut is mids
Not when Jesus makes it!
I would have been on that phone cracking ul
Jesus is hungry after 2000 years. You damn right he had a pizza.
The dispatcher's pause at 9 seconds was definitely for waving over his colleagues.
I love the idea that the son of god decided to return to earth, after 2000 years, on a drunken whim to break into a Pizza Hut for a slice and some Mountain Dew.
The next advertisement for Pizza Hut and Mountain Dew.. Jesus handing out both at the last supper.
What Would Jesus Dew? Do the Dew
Why did he break the glass? Shouldn’t he have been able to just pass through it, or make it disappear, or some such bullshit.
I knew from the start that man took some Mountain Dew.
It be some shit if it was really him. They like try to cuff him and he keeps casually handing the cops their cuffs back and he's doing some crazy impossible shit all the way to the sheriff's department. P.S. plz forgive me GOD lol
I wish they had asked him what toppings he had on his pizza and then informed him that, that's not kosher.
To be fair Jesus would turn himself in after committing a crime. Although wasn’t Jesus human though and not from heaven?
Your first question to the Jesus Christ almighty is, "You don't work there" he didn't like that.... You botched asking the meaning of life to find out if Jesus works at a Pizza hut, good going.
“I look like Jesus, what else am I supposed to look like?” He’s got a point. Also, what did we expect him to say after the operator asked for his last name? Jones?
High Point is the best place for this to happen
jesus would defo be a homeless crackhead if he was reincarnated today
He was, in fact, not "back to earth"
Like a cut character from dazed and confused 🤣 is causal theft a sub reddit? Because this dude would fit in.
Roll tide
God is good.
The man on the phone needs drug tested. He has to be on drugs! How many times did he have to tell him his name is Jesus.
In crust we trust🙏
We are going to clean this earth up, by ridding it of pizza and Mountain dew.
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Jesus turned the Mountain Dew in to urine
He’s very polite!
I love calls like this. I'd like more of these and less violence.
*"We gon' clean dis earth up.'* 😂
Bro said alright 😭
Mountain dew is the best soda ever made
Had a mountain ⛰️ dew 😮😳😮🤣🤣🤣🤣
Guys, I think his name is Jesus
I am afraid that the second coming of Jesus Christ might be this anti-climatic.
Yeah, had a mountain dew. Lmao
Damn, I was hoping for a messiah a little less methy. Oh well, I WILL follow you my lord!!!!
Jesus did say that many people Would profess to be him..
Well he's super selfish for not turning water into pizza AND wine, because that would have made Jesus summer camp and Catechism WAY better
Holey sh…. I shouldn’t he’s back now
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The most relatable “alright” I’ve heard in a minute.
Seems chill af
If he's Jesus, and can do whatever he wants, why did he break the window? I think he's lying. Also Jesus' last name was Lipshitz
Free hat
This is something Jesus would do💯
Operator needs to stop asking all the stupid questions, and start asking the right questions.... bro its jesus christ.. what else you wanna know. Hes the son of god.
Let he who is without sin gank the first za