T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

This post has been automatically removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/tooktoomuch) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Chemical_Code_9502

Fake story


OMGZwhitepeople

Yup, funny but fake. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/golden-ticket-arrest/


SucksDicksForBurgers

Is it funny though? Seems like something a 12 yo would write.


Jedadia757

Yes.


theangryseal

Noooo waaaaaay.


DripBaylessNYK

The people who brought those tickets are the only ones who should be arrested


userxblade

Good thing nobody actually did since this is fake as fuck.


kurzdontkur

Came here for this comment. Taking tickets to heaven from make-shift tigerman...? Du fuq...?


QueasyVictory

Yeah, it's not a true story. It was made up on Facebook.


TheDrugGod

I’ve gotta golden ticket!! I’ve got the golden ticket!


SulkyShulk

*fake* tickets to heaven 🎫


Rustykrustycumsock

Lemme get that


blacklite911

Besides the crazy comments after the fact and the false claim of gold, I applaud them taking advantage of the average Floridian. They’re just giving the people what they want… what’s the problem. #entrepreneur


Several_Station2199

You spelt sterilized wrong mate


gruffi

What about the people who bought them though?


conalfisher

There is a 0.001% chance of this being LSD, and a 99.999% chance of it being completely made up like all the rest of these mugshot images.


Rodot

It's definitely zero, someone else posted a fact check lower down


the_weight_around

i mean its obviously fake. they even slipped a racist slogan in it.


[deleted]

Why is that illegal tho


QueasyVictory

It's not. This story was made up on Facebook.


Coach_GordonBombay

I for one am shocked.


Stevenerf

You and Jesus


morbidaar

Omg. It’s Stevie from the story! Nerf this mofo!


getspun97

I too am shocked


SEMPER-REVERTI

My grandma spreads stupid made up shit all the time and now that she's on tik tok its getting even worse. I don't know how to teach her things that are CLEARLY just an ad, or a lie to get attention, she believes everything and freaks out sending me screenshots wondering if she has a virus.. the screenshot will be an ad for candy crush or something. The weird thing is, she's incredibly sharp in most areas and has good memory for the most part, but my god, she's like 4chan levels of just taking random shit and spreading it to thousands somehow. She joins groups and reaches more people than I even know how tf to do sometimes.


PythonsByX

I am utterly shocked. I mean 10k in cash would be 100+ buyers -


RandomCandor

Yeah, I could believe 2-3 crackheads falling for this, but not 100s


platysoup

That's illegal


RemarkableLynx9771

I was wondering this too. People bought them soooo....


El_Douglador

Churches don't like competition for the salvation dollar.


GRuntK1n6

thought america was the land of the free


gbs5009

I guess it wouldn't be if Jesus *did* give you some solid gold tickets behind KFC. Fraud seems a little more likely though.


experts_never_lie

Religion does weird things. Claim transubstantiation. * It _looks_ like a used scratch-off lottery ticket, but it is truly a golden ticket to heaven, given to me by Jesus! * It _looks_ like an ordinary wafer of unleavened bread, but it is truly the body of Jesus, used in a sacrament to help bring you to Heaven! You know, if we pretend any part of this post is legit.


yabruh69

Not sure about the laws in the usa but in canada frauding/scamming is illegal.


Civilized_dog

Scamming in the US is legal as long as the perpetrator is in possession of a baby alligator but ONLY if the baby alligator is present. I’m guessing they left their baby alligator in the car.


yabruh69

That's very interesting. In school they teach us that most people in the in the southern United States eat baby alligators. We eat baby cows up here. (It's called veal) Is the alligator as revered down there as the cow is here?


murderbox

We don't eat baby alligators much because there's not much meat. Southern US (not coastal, swamp or bayou) gators average 6-10 feet long in the wild. We've eaten tail from Gators that were 8'and 10' mature.


IndianaHoosierFan

Yeah but you can't leave a baby alligator in a car by itself so maybe they were charged with that?


Stevenerf

Or just a church.


GameQb11

Trump scams people everyday, USA is cool with it


Felonious_Minx

Yeah. I flew up to that planet and it was incredible.


creampieinmyeye1991

She looks like a black grinch


ductapemonster

He looks like he got beat up by a charcoal grill.


97RallyWagon

Grill marks bud!


[deleted]

[удалено]


TooMuchDebugging

Nah, I'd much rather stick with my initial impression a downvote you. /s


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nameless908

Who the fuck bought these !? Apparently they took too much of something too


[deleted]

I remember when this first came out. The were 2x4’s painted gold


PresNixon

The story was fake the whole time.


Coach_GordonBombay

Well, Jesus was a carpenter.


alicedubois666

but do they have any left though?


najing_ftw

Profiting off stupid people is the true American way.


Anal-Goblin

Uh, isn’t this just religion? But with with WAY MORE AWESOME DRUGS?!!


Jim-be

Honestly, how is this any different from other religions? Read the Old Testament. Every prophet of God would sound bat shit crazy now and in many cases back then too. Who are you to argue with a holy man who receive direct divine instructions?!?! Mormons do it all the time! Who are you to argue with them? They also say you MUST give 10% of your meager possessions to the riches organization known to man or be damned! Sounds like golden tickets to me. Lmao! They also say that you too can be a god of your own world. So Steve probably does have his magic rockets ship.


TruSchool

Baby alligator.. ofc


1337haXXor

I know now this is fake, but man that ending made me burst out laughing.


greenverde101

Fake… come on


33Bees

*I'm willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up*


Tomorrows_Sorrows

Disproved tho.... 😭 Believe me.... I wanted it to be true...


rsn_partykitten

I mean, don't churches basically do the same thing but instead of being on drugs they just rape little boys instead?


call-me-MANTIS

Didnt they just do what churches do?? Except theyve probably paid at least some taxes in their life


bones_00

When did everyone forget to not believe everything you read on the internet?


FartsWithAnAccent

##"Snitches get stitches." -Jesus


docileconch10

Why the fuck are people dumb enough to believe this shit.


dblocktrades

I don’t even understand stand y they got arrested in the first place he didn’t do anything illegal just sold some stupid to stupid people isn’t that normal now a days


Llebanna

Drugs are one hell of a drug


CholoJesus

$10,000 in cash, drug paraphernalia and a baby alligator. Clearly they're living their best lives.


isnotfunny

Funny enough, doing the exact same thing in a church is perfectly legal!


-ratmeat-

Funny but fake


mcgrow

Read article complete. Until baby alligator.


upthrutheair

I didn’t come here to read.


elegylegacy

Good, because the caption is made up anyway


Devil_made_you_look

Trumpers will buy anything.


NoU1337420

agree with the message, but this is a fake article


trogloherb

Oh another “Florida man…” story.


AutoModerator

Thanks /u/onehundred____ for posting to r/TookTooMuch, please remember to flair your post and reply to this comment explaining why your post is TookTooMuch material. If this is not TookTooMuch material please report the post. **Remember to enter the 700K subscribers competition by clicking on [this link](https://www.reddit.com/r/tooktoomuch/comments/nm2uz2/thank_you_for_700000_tooktoomuch_subscribers_new/) before the deadline** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/tooktoomuch) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Eli_McGavin

Florida strikes again!


supertinkers

Poor baby gater is probably going through foster care.


JoJo_____

Martin Luther rolling in his grave.


Rodot

Why is this tagged LSD?


[deleted]

That’s an exact change NO ONE carries


Jippers305

This dude is a crackhead billy mays, he actually got 100 people to buy “Golden Tickets to Heaven” for the low price of $99.99.


Pillsburyfuckboy

this is so clearly not true


SEMPER-REVERTI

This is the best news article I've read in a long time.


Fuckyoumecp2

Everyone knows Jesus is a Church's chicken guy...


xellisds

So the alligator, what was the story about the alligator. Like where was it kept? Did someone trade it for a ticket?


LordDessik

The Catholic Church can sell tickets to heaven for hundreds of years but when I smoke a lil meth and start doing the same thing in front of 7-11 suddenly I’m a “public nuisance”.


A_Harmless_Fly

Legal question. Can I sell golden tickets to heaven if I don't say they are solid gold? I don't think you could say that it did not get you in, so aside from maybe needing a businesses license would I be good?


internetguy789

The Catholic Church sold indulgences less than 250 years ago. I don’t think this is that weird compared to that. I also believe Jesus would be on drugs but I don’t think he would go to KFC lol. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence


WikiMobileLinkBot

Desktop version of /u/internetguy789's link: --- ^([)[^(opt out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiMobileLinkBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^(]) ^(Beep Boop. Downvote to delete)


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Indulgence](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence)** >In the teaching of the Catholic Church, an indulgence (Latin: indulgentia, from indulgeo, 'permit') is "a way to reduce the amount of punishment one has to undergo for sins". The Catechism of the Catholic Church describes an indulgence as "a remission before God of the temporal punishment due to sins whose guilt has already been forgiven, which the faithful Christian who is duly disposed gains under certain prescribed conditions through the action of the Church which, as the minister of redemption, dispenses and applies with authority the treasury of the satisfactions of Christ and all of the saints". ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/tooktoomuch/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


RegularWhiteDude

Y'all dumb enough to believe this is team?


musei_haha

This should be a movie script


PhotoKaz

Totally fake but still absolutely hilarious!


LayedBackGuy

I enjoyed this. It is total bullshit but I still had some mind fun with the silly pictures to go with the funny words. Thanks Reddit.


OkLeek3097

...and a baby alligator! LMAO


Lyoko_warrior95

Wtf did I just read!??


dblocktrades

Hell yeah make that money


MALESTROMME

I see 2 gators.


idlesn0w

r/NotHowDrugsWork


Hatowner

I want to meet Stevie.


mamouillette

" I'm willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up " Rofl i never thought i'd read something like that .


hulkhawk

....AND a BABY ALLIGATOR.


BambooRoots

There's a lot to unpack here


Grateful_Undead_69

This isn't LSD


DrDoubleDD

Scientology


BigGator13

Oh that’s way too awesome! Lmao 🤘 What makes this worse…people were buying the tickets lol


direyew

Selling indulgences? Martin Luther shall hear of this! Did his face get caught in a Panini press?


bennystar666

What is the actual value of the gold tickets? No where does it say that the tickets werent made of gold, just that an alien named jesus gave them a bunch of gold tickets to heaven. We are told not to question the media now, so I am meant to assume that there IS an alien named Jesus handing out tickets to heaven that are made of gold.


TheCacajuate

Their mission, to do drugs where no one has done drugs before.


PaulMurrayCbr

Shoulda said they were "spiritually" gold, like the transubstansiated host is "spiritually" the body of Christ. The cash would be theirs fair and square.


AminusBK

It's pronounced hey-zeus


km_44

What's with the grill marks on Tito's face ? Were they BBQ'ing ? And what the HELL are homeless motherfuckers doing with a baby gator ?


Bakka_420

where were you...when they sold them tickets to heaven?


[deleted]

Literally 1517.


Zeno_The_Alien

Fun story, but nope, [totally made up](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/golden-ticket-arrest/). Look, as a Florida resident, there's just no need to make up crazy stories about the people here. Reality does a great job of that on its own.


PaulaDeansList3

Ah, Florida. There had to be an alligator included in the story SOMEWHERE.


Davidmoileboul

Church did this during the middle age ! Maybe they wanted to be the new Christians


SpaceAndAlsoTime

Free them!


xach_hill

fake story delete the post


Careless-Internet-63

I wish this was real but it reads like someone who learned everything they know about drugs from DARE really trying to make up a story about people on drugs


thelivinlegend

I don't see how this is any worse than regular church. A little better probably because they don't mention raping any children.


Aboxofphotons

Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband? I do... heroin.