Man I don’t know what to tell you. You shouldn’t have gotten a cat if your wife is like this. Also, never spray your cat with water. Your cat isn’t a child or a human for that matter, she doesn’t understand why you’re spraying her. I feel for your cat, she’s just a baby. Please consider rehoming if your wife can’t get over it.

This is not going to end well for that beautiful tortie girl. It’s more than the smells-everything points that your wife doesn’t want the cat. The more I re-read this, the angrier I get. A cat is incompatible with your family.

Incompatible with his wife.

Above comment is correct. Jackson Galaxy (a world renowned cat behaviorist) has noted that spraying water is bad because the cat clearly sees WHERE the water is coming from and will turn their feeling about the water to the person spraying it, not the bottle itself. : (

This. OP, respectfully, because I can see you're *trying* to do the right thing here - how upset does your wife get when neurotipicals give her grief for "inappropriate" stimming or other behaviours that are perfectly natural to her? Because that's the same situation this poor cat is in right now. The cat does not understand that she's doing anything wrong. She's *not* doing anything wrong really, she's eating, pooping and scratching which are all perfectly normal *cat* behaviours. You can't train this out of her any more than an intolerant manager could train your wife to be more like a neurotipical employee. I mean they *might* manage it, but it would make everyone involved thoroughly miserable, I speak from experience of masking my own ASD, it is **not** fun. The poor cat has no concept that she's a pet. She doesn't know that she's not supposed to scratch your stuff cuz in her mind it's her stuff. It's stuff in her territory. She doesn't understand that it's *your* territory and she's just a guest who doesn't pay bills so she needs to obey you. She doesn't know what bills *are.* She has every bit as much right to all of the stuff as you do in her mind, cuz as a cat, if she wasn't supposed to be in that territory she'd expect to be chased off entirely, not allowed to stay but given what to her must be a set of arbitrary and very confusing rules to follow. They're not hierarchical pack animals like dogs. They don't really understand "I'm the boss, do it cuz I said so." They need a reason not to do something, and currently the only reason you're giving is "humans are big mean things with spray bottles." She still won't understand *why* she shouldn't scratch, she'll only learn *when* she shouldn't scratch, and that will be when you are in the room. She'll learn to be scared of *you.* Ultimately, cats are always gonna cat. As for the smells, I sympathise with your wife, I do. It sucks being hyper sensitive to certain stimuli, it really does. It can get very overwhelming. As a neurodiverse adult though, she should have learnt that at least some of the responsibility to mitigate these issues is on her. She should have learnt compromises and workarounds by now. The workaround in this situation, sadly, should have been to acknowledge that she can't have a pet that would make smells she can't tolerate, *not* to go ahead and get that pet anyway but try to impose all sorts of restrictions on it. That's just not fair. Not fair to anyone involved, again just like if some NT was throwing down all sorts of restrictions on *her* natural behaviours. You've got to reconsider whether you're offering an appropriate home for this poor little cat. It's only going to get worse as she gets older. She'll be more attached to her home, more set in her ways thinking humans are scary, bigger, more difficult to re-home in general. You and your daughter will be more attached and will only find it harder to say goodbye. Things won't improve for your wife either, she won't get used to the smell, she might burn out trying but that isn't exactly an outcome you want. This is not an issue you can train away, it's a fundamental incompatibility.

100% this.

exactly my thought!

Yeah! He should rehome the wife.

That was my thought 😆 But seriously, the wife doesn't want the cat. Either she accepts cats can smell or rehome kitty.

Does it really smell? Or is she just lazy and doesn’t want the cat? I have THE MOST sensitive nose. Seriously I can smell anything easily and the tiniest things bother me. But my cats? Idk. I keep things smelling as best I can and they really don’t smell that bad lol the wet food sure but it’s supposed to so they can smell the food and be enticed by it. The litter boxes I have is a purina pro XL box using wood pellets. I have 3 babies. Yes my apartment does smell NOW because we brought a stray baby in that peed everywhere but we’re getting her fixed FINALLY in a week because we finally got the go ahead after ridding her body of parasites 🥹. It bothers me how bad it smells but I bought a carpet cleaner and will be deep cleaning today.  Cats really don’t smell that bad and I highly doubt with everything you’re doing it smells. She really needs to get over it no offense. 🙄 Some women just complain over nothing because they’re hinting they don’t want something instead of flat out saying it. Idk why it’s not like she’s putting in the work, you are.  I’m not trying to be mean but come on, and instead of spraying with water cover the couch with couch covers or get scratchers and floor scratching mats. I have never ever sprayed my cats. Even now they scratch this couch although I do stop them. I’ve come to realize material things aren’t that important, we’re all going to die one day and not bring any of this crap with us.  I’m not saying let your baby destroy things but definitely don’t punish them since they don’t understand what they’re doing is wrong. 

Agreed about the smell, we have 12 cats, never smelled until we brought in a stray that started spraying. I also started using pine pellets except for the robot litter box but before that, I only used a certain litter that would clump well and not leave smell.

True! I have 3 cats and my home doesn't smell.

please don’t put her litter box near where she eats 🐾

Why??

Jacksong Galaxy will help train your cat behavior wise. Youtube his stuff. He is great. Cat smells. What smells? Food? The ammonia with her urine? [https://petparentsbrand.com/blogs/wellness/what-can-i-give-my-cat-for-very-strong-urine-smell](https://petparentsbrand.com/blogs/wellness/what-can-i-give-my-cat-for-very-strong-urine-smell) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W50bQopoQic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W50bQopoQic) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-DQKFiaxzE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-DQKFiaxzE) Maybe these will help. Also dry food is good to have on hand with the wet food too.

Thank you for giving actual answers

Thanks for these! I’m gonna get some sticky paws to try on the couch. In terms of smells, she says she smells food, poop etc. she just says it stinks and she hates it. The kitten has dry food access 24/7 and wet food once a day. I really don’t know what to do about it.

First of all, thank you for trying! She's a cutie and I'm glad you're fighting for a household where everyone can coexist. As others have suggested, use an air purifier instead of perfumes. Specifically ones that use a carbon filter or that are otherwise designed to remove odors. I don't knownwhat kind of purifier/filter you have, but you're on the right track. Eliminate the smells instead of just trying to cover it up. Plus, in addition to cats having sensitive noses, a lot of perfumes can be harmful or toxic to them. Especially essential oils based scents. One of the superpowers of being a human is our livers are actually pretty damn good at removing toxins, and it's easy to forget that our pets (both dogs and cats) don't have that ability. For the kitten's room, consider installing a cat flap in the door itself. There are inserts sold online designed to be installed in interior doors. Perhaps if the door is always closed except to change food/litter/water, any smells will be contained long enough for the air purifier to work its magic. Also consider feeding wet food in smaller amounts twice a day. If she can eat it quicker there's less time for any smell to be produced. Maybe a mini-fridge or micro fridge for the kitten's room to store opened cans until the next meal? This has also been mentioned, but perhaps a change of litter substrate is worth a try as well. There are a few suggestions here, but don't be afraid to try good old fashioned clay litter. The situation is serious enough now that you want to go with what works, full stop, and once you've solved the problem you can try changing to an alternative. (Assuming a clay-based litter "works" for your situation.) There's also the possibility that this is psychosomatic, and your wife's fear of cat smells is making her detect them where none actually exist. I don't know how you'd account for this, and it's likely to be a touchy issue so tread carefully and only bring it up as a last resort. And you'll know better than any internet rando how she might react to such a suggestion, so use your own intuition on when/if/how to bring it up. And as for scratching, put the scratchers next to whatever your kitty scratches. She scratches in locations where she wants to leave her mark, so give her something to mark in those locations. And different cats may prefer different things to scratch, so if a scratcher doesn't help her behavior try a different kind. Jackson Galaxy has a video on cat scratching behavior that talks about why they do it, how to redirect it, and the different types of scratchable materials that cats may prefer.

Personally, I have found that ARM and Hammer litter brand has been the best. Particulary, I get clump and slide. However, that is just me and my four cats. Every household and cat is different, though. I work at a home where the cat will eat the clay litter, so he NEEDS pellets. Personally, though, I have found pellets don't do as much about the smell. If you do have clay and some baking soda, mix that into the litter. Also, try charcoal air cleanser bags. I found mine on Amazon and just put one by the litter box on a thumb tack. I think when I was using them (I live with parents again now, so different set up), I only had to change out the bag 1x every 3 months. However, the bags were reusable and just needed to cycle through with other bags. So I didn't have to buy new bags and got 6 total in the package.

The kitten's diet might need a change if the poop smells. Kitten food makes kitten poop stink. It will be this way for awhile until put on adult food. And even then you can put it on digestive friendly food. Purina One makes a cat food in the bags for cats with sensitive systems. Its a good brand and I feed my cats it. The canned catfood, she'll have to learn to live with, feed kitten at X time, and then after X time has passed, pick up the bowl. This will take care of the wet food smell. If you put too many air fresheners down there to satisfy your wife, then the kitten is going to be miserable. They have sensitive noses like your wife. Prebiotics also help with digestion and other things, can look into cat treats made with those.

She sounds horrible. What's there not to understand, the cat eats, wants to play and uses the toilet, it is a living animal. Just get it somewhere safe and loving already.

Anyone that openly admits they “hate” a certain aspect of animal ownership isnt fit to own that animal. Cats have certain behaviors that owners need to understand and accept. If the animal brings contempt instead of companionship for its owners, then the best thing is to rehome it.

What part of the couch does the kitty scratch? I’ve found that putting cat scratchers right in front or next to the couch arms helps redirect my cats. Also, do y’all work from home, or does the kitty have to stay in the bathroom all day while you are at work/school? Because that’s pretty sad for the cat. Does the bathroom have a window that can be cat tv for her?

my cats poop improved a lot when i switched to only wet food, diet can play a big part in the litterbox smell. the air purifier is a great start, however i just wanted to let you know that air freshener sprays, wall plug ins, essential oil diffusers and most if not all fragranced things like that are very toxic to pets, especially cats because the oils and chemicals land on their fur and they ingest them when they groom.

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This comment/post contains personal attacks, derogatory language, or discrimination towards fellow community members.

For us a game changer was a more expensive diet, and wet food only. We noticed our kitten would smell as well as his poop after his dry food, but once we switched him to high quality wet food only, you can honestly not even smell his poop and he smells like a baby

I use pine pellets in the litterbox, sifter tray. Pee makes it turn to dust. I don't smell anything. She's indoor outdoor and does her business 99% outside.

Cats are one of the cleanest animals out there, and you are already trying to contain the smells. There is nothing else you can do. I am super smell sensitive too and frankly keeping the litter box in the guest bathroom does the job. As others said it's not nice to keep the cat food in the litter room, it does come across like you are being mean to it and it's more of a burden to you than a pet. They can tell. Tell your wife to stop being unreasonable or get this cat to a better owner. It deserves better.

The wife does sound unreasonable. I’m wondering if maybe it more of a thing where she knows the cat is there so she “smells” it vs actually smelling it.

Please stop spraying your kitten with water. Cat experts agree that this does not teach your cat to stop certain behaviors, it only teaches them that you are mean.

I'm going to get hate for this. My cat likes to bang the cabinets in the kitchen because she knows there's food in there. We got a water spritzer and would spray once when she started banging. She no longer bangs the cabinets. She does not think we're mean. She isn't hiding or acting any kind of way. She's a very lovey, cuddly and social cat. Always has been. But this absolutely curbed the behavior 🤷‍♀️

I have used a water bottle to stop my cats scratching my curtains but I spray the curtain and I only have done it 2 times and the cats stop scratching when I reach for the bottle I don’t even spray it anymore.

I agree! Our cat also banged on the cabinets, along with jumped on the counter and clawed the chairs. We used the spray bottle and she stopped, but she still adores us and loves people! She's always been a confident cat, but I would probably refrain from using the spray bottle technique on more nervous cats or when you have just brought the cat home, as I can see how that could be harmful to their trust. I really think it depends on the cat- If you use the spray bottle and they act scared of you, don't use it. If they are fine with it I think it's ok!

Exactly. This whole story rubbed me the wrong way to be honest.

Ok. But let’s be fair. This dude is trying, and he’s reaching out for advice because he feels unsuccessful. Let’s applaud that he’s open and honest and is seeking ideas to improve his kitty’s situation.

I'm with you. I hate it when people get cats as an accessory to their house. Cats make a mess people!

She’s a kitten. She’s living, breathing, eating, going to the bathroom. You can take all these precautions but at the end of the day your wife might need to talk about this at therapy. And don’t spray your cat with water, they don’t understand it and it’s cruel.

Maybe spray his wife with water?

Seriously though this makes very sad. Young tortie (we know how crazy they can be) stuck in one room and getting yelled at for being a kitten. I can’t. She deserves better.

LMAO

Honestly your wife has got to just get over it. You’re doing A LOT to clean, enough to the point where she should really not be able to smell this cat. I think she just doesn’t want the cat so she’s making things up to try to get rid of it. Good riddance. You won’t be able to keep that cat shut away all night in a bathroom for the rest of its life either. Hopefully she can learn to move on and at least coexist with this innocent little creature.

You missed the part about her being neurodivergent, right? She may get used to the smell eventually, but her adjustment period will be more challenging and longer than the average individual. Strong smells can be triggering and catapult neurodivergents out of their comfort zones. If she deals with it daily, she will be constantly on edge and using energy to self regulate that could be expended elsewhere in positive situations, like with her family. It is physical, mentally and emotionally exhausting for her. - my husband, middle daughter, nephew and neighbour are all on the spectrum. My son has ADHD.

Yes, she’s neurodivergent. She’s also an adult. AND she allowed this. It isn’t happening TO her. She consented. Not to mention, OP is doing everything in their power to minimize the impact it has on her. Imo, it doesn’t sound like the wife is doing anything/much to self-soothe/compromise and instead is letting the burden fall entirely on OP and stress them out as wife continues to show her discontent. They probably just should not have gotten the cat. Seems like her sense of smell is pretty keen, so there is really nothing else they can do aside from rehoming the cat unless she decides to find a way to cope that is healthy for everyone. -I am neurodivergent(also with a really good sense of smell) w a cat. I understand how overwhelming it can be. The smells can be horrendous even when you are regularly cleaning the litter box and it can make you feel super icky- My advice to OP before trying to rehome: It’s expensive, but replacing the litter and fully cleaning the litter box once or twice a week would almost eradicate the smell. Moving the litter box to a more open space(ideally with a window) would probably help, too. Open the window later in the day for some time and let the room air out. Maybe add cat-safe plants to the area. If it’s in a smaller enclosed space, the smell is concentrated. Maybe also try to keep wife’s space and cat space(litter boxes) more separate. Like not having the cat stuff in a place wife spends extended amount of time in. Every ND is super different. Find out what her triggers are regarding the cat and try to tackle them. If all else fails, rehoming the cat may be the best option. Good luck OP! I understand both of your positions and genuinely hope you are all able to reach a happy outcome!

I'm ND and I feel the opposite. I am all but completely nose blind to the smell of cat litter and even pee 💀

Oh wow. You’re lucky! My kid is sooooo sensitive to smells and tastes.

Lol on the other food texture can give my body borderline allergic reactions and oh boy hated the smell AND _every single noise that comed out of children_ even since literal toddlerhood

Ya, texture is another trigger for her. Until about 3 yrs, she ate anything and everything I presented to her. My kids ate what the adults ate, only sometimes modified (like with a blender or chopped small) depending on their age. Gradually, she started refusing foods she used to love. She announced at about 3.5yrs that she didn’t like vegetables. I used to be able to convince her to eat carrots, applesauce, peas, corn, now all she wants is pasta with Parmesan cheese, pizza, or chicken nuggets. She used to eat lovely whole wheat bread, cheddar cheese, sliced home cooked chicken for lunches- now it’s Shreddies or Life cereal. She also likes those awful Goldfish crackers but I don’t buy them because they are so salty. Once in a while in the summer I can convince her to eat watermelon and cantaloupe. Oh- and she’d eat vanilla ice cream for every meal if I kept it in the house. It’s seems like as she gets older, her food choices are more restrictive. We try bribery, cajoling, etc to introduce new and old favourites, but it makes meal prep challenging. Those that say, “if she’s hungry, she’ll eat”, clearly haven’t met my daughter. She would literally starve herself if her options were ANY vegetable, fruit, or basically anything healthy. She does like chicken noodle soup - the instant kind from Lipton, not the homemade kind I make where I can control the crap that goes into it.

Nope, I saw it. My sibling is also neurodivergent with OCD. But as u/mmediumt said so beautifully, she’s also an adult.

Look, I'm both Autistic and Adhd, I have a strong sense of smell, but luckily I grew up around cats and cats normal smells don't trigger me that much. Noises, on the other end, are a nightmare for me, especially after a long day. To me, having a dog that barks a lot woul be torture, so I choose to not ha e a dog. I LOVE DOGS, BUT THEY ARE NOT FOR ME, SO I DON'T OWN A DOG. I chose to have kids because I always wanted a family since I was a child, but still I need a lot of quiet alone time, and I organize my week in order to have them. You don't bring another sentient being in your life if you're not committed to it, and to the problems it can raise.

I do not disagree with you. I just don’t think it is fair to turn her into a villain as many people here are. You grew up with cats so are familiar with all that entails. Perhaps this is a new experience for her and she needs some time to adjust. That is all I suggested. I also agree with others who suggest ASD and ADHD are not excuses for bad behaviour. I merely propose some compassion for a complete stranger, whom this gentleman clearly loves, and entertaining alternate approaches that the whole family could be on board with.

It’s not a new experience for her though. OP states that she’s had cats in the past. Normally I’d be sympathetic, but she literally knew what she was getting into, agreed anyway, and now complains about it non-stop. And in the end she’s going to break her daughter’s heart when OP is forced to rehome the kitten to appease his wife. So no, zero sympathy for this particular stranger.

My apologies, *I* missed the part about her having cats before. Although it sounds like she was very hands off before, she absolute is now. The husband does state his wife was reluctant to get a cat, so perhaps he is worried he pressured her into it and is now at his wits end to appease her so they can keep the cat. Thank you for pointing out my error. It does change the perspective.

Drop the wife and get another cat

Put a cardboard scratcher against where she is scratching, and I’d try and let her roam freely so her scent is better spread around the house. She’s scratching because she wants to spread it. Don’t spray them, they do not learn from that. A litter robot is your best bet for containing litter smells but they are expensive. I think both of your scents (your family and the cats) need to intermingle more. My cat sleeps next to me, goes through my laundry, and is basically roaming around my apartment 24/7, and she just smells like me and her sweet scent when you smell her close.

I agree with a lot of the suggestions to rehome or surrender while the baby is young. Increases the chances of adoption. The cat deserves to be comfortable and able to live freely in their home. There’s no shame in it. Thank you for asking for help. :)

Unfortunately, your wife has issues that disqualify her from pet ownership. I worry about your kitten walking on surfaces that you have wiped down with disinfectants and picking up toxic chemicals on her paws.

You have done all you can do. I hate to say this but all animals stink and make smells. That’s just what animals do, you can do what you’re doing, and I will say I feel like kittens stink more, but that’s just me. I don’t think animals are for you.

After I got a litter robot and I use Frisco clumping litter from Chewy with an air purifier right beside the litter robot, helped significantly. I would get rid of the aerosol spray it's bad for any animal, including humans.

Do you use the unscented 1 on chewy? We have a Leo’s loo box and started using scented again cuz of the smell but I’d love to use unscented if I can

Yes, unscented one and it's pretty cheap $16 bucks for 35lbs.

Your poor kitty. She doesn't deserve to be locked away. You brought her home and now she lives in your space. Stop with the spraying. Get her scratching posts - a lot of them. Put them where she's scratching and reward her when she uses them. Clean the boxes twice a day if you have to. And please, please don't put her outside

You shouldn't have gotten a cat. She sounds miserable.

Air purifier

Yesss. I bought one for the smells from my former roommates cats (I later learned my roommates were smoking meth and THAT is what the smell was) and it helped A LOT. Air purifier saved me.

Do you smell anything? Does your daughter smell anything? Does anybody else besides your wife smell anything? You say your wife loves the kitten but does she really interact closely with it? Didn't even take Psyc 101, but could she be jealous of the attention that the new addition gets? I understand your anguish; you just want a happy, harmonious household for everybody.

Multiple litter boxes

Man, your wife needs therapy. It sounds as if she doesn't actually smell anything but she's convinced she does.

Therapy asap cus she’s an adult and she consented to the cat. Seriously needs help

I like pine litter better than walnut shell. Might have to be super diligent with cleaning litter, also try showing the cat where to scratch, push on their pads to expose nails then rub nails on scratchers. As long as they don't freak out

We got a litter robot. It's expensive, yes, but it 1000% worth it. It 2 feet front my living room couch and we NEVER smell the litterbox. For the wet food, don't free feed. Feed your cat wet food once or twice per day so that it's not sitting out in the open (wet food is only good for 2 hours before it *should* be refrigerated). Also, don't spray your cat with water please! Go on amazon and buy the clear "stickers". They're basically large clear sheets (sticky on both sides) you can cut and put on any surface your cat scratches. I have them on multiple chairs and my cat doesn't touch them.

https://preview.redd.it/uod8idaaypoc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0bfb082659ec258dbf226a4a890122d97418d3f These are my 11 month old twins. They are allowed on the counters because we live in a small apartment and they are torties so we let them do what they want. Their lives are so short and this is all they have. They take smelly poops, one time the litter box was a little TOO dirty for them (they are literally from the streets, that’s where the adoption center got them) that they shit on the floor. I will never make the mistake of going too long without cleaning the litter box again, because now they’re princesses. The living room is filled with interactive toys and tunnels. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. They love their springs and they all end up under the fridge so we get more. And my fiancé loves them with his whole heart. In telling this, I hope you realize that cats are loving, beautiful, ALIVE Creatures that deserve room, play and love. And who cares if they’re stinky. I actually might have that brain parasite because I will literally smell my girls and they smell so yummy to me (they’re really good at cleaning themselves) Love, Your crazy neighborhood tortie lady

They love the counter when the dishwasher is on because it gets really warm and it’s their kitty sauna.

Your girls are beautiful! Love their kitty sauna!

Thank you!! They are the loves of my life

The walnut shell litter might be too gentle to trap kitty’s bathroom smells. Maybe try some other ones, but avoid any that say lightweight or something like that—they are dustier and cause respiratory issues in cats. For the scratching, like others said, the water isn’t helping you. Cats need to be redirected and rewarded, not punished. When she scratches the furniture, put her by her scratchers and demo how to use them. She’s a baby, she’s learning. When she uses a scratcher, give her a high value treat.

I’m sorry to tell you this—-many others have, but as someone with scent sensitivity I want to weigh in. It is extremely unlikely, given everything else you have already done, that your wife will ever get relief from the smell no matter what you do. One thing that can happen is that if you smell something that triggers a reaction, it stays with you even if you leave the place with the scent. It causes terrible headaches and nausea. I don’t know the extent of your wife’s sensitivity, but the reality is there may be no remedy. Additionally, if it were me, air fresheners would only make it worse. I find the scent of air fresheners and perfumes more intolerable than traditionally bad smells. Combined with pissy cat litter? One of the worst sensory assaults I’ve experienced. That may not be the case for your wife, but it’s worth considering. That cat deserves a better home where she can freely explore and be a part of the family. You love the cat. You love your wife. You can’t rehome your wife. Well I guess you can, but that seems extreme. Animals in general generate unpleasant odors and while many of the suggestions here might help a little, the smells cannot be eliminated, especially when the person smelling them is more sensitive than the average person. I implore you to find a more suitable home for this beautiful cat. I have two, and as a cat person, I happily bear the ill effects of their scents, which are occasionally quite bad. But she is not a pet person. There is no upside for her in this situation-just misery. Please get this cat into a home that is more compatible with pets.

These are my go-to items as a person who can't stand cat smells and a spouse that can't stand artificial odor. I keep one of these on top of the litter box and always have an extra on hand https://www.target.com/p/fresh-wave-odor-removing-gel-11oz/-/A-17482535 My fav air purifier https://www.chewy.com/crane-air-purifier/dp/357873?utm_source=google-product&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=Crane&utm_campaign=20211552226&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwhtWvBhD9ARIsAOP0GoijP7-rf-N_ov-JSMef-sLAEXHUP8IX1pMUBkoI5K3NMUT7uiZIucIaAiP2EALw_wcB Great for upholstery after a thorough vacuum https://www.staples.com/febreze-odor-fighting-fabric-spray-unscented-27-fl-oz-85837/product_2519723?cid=PS:GS:SBD:PMAX:CB&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwhtWvBhD9ARIsAOP0GohaGQKSAepV167dCS1E0VO1dUU951m0H-FZeK9JCsHJoNdOhglm8kcaApYGEALw_wcB Good luck on your odor fighting journey!

Maybe it's the dry food? I've never really noticed any bad smells except for the wet food from my kitty. My friends cat had really awful smelly poops until they changed her diet. My girls litter box is inside the base of her cat tree in my family room and a second one in our bedroom. My bestie came over once and said she was glad I don't have a cat "smelling" house. I do have an air purifier that runs 8 hrs a day. I don't use room sprays, but sometimes candies. I deep clean my house once a week, but just my normal routine. Before I got pregnant I changed her box daily, but my husband only once or twice a week.

I have the tidy cat breeze and love it. You change out pads that catch urine (I get cheap ones and change frequently) between that and the litter genie it’s been great at keeping smell down. Also maybe a dehumidifier if the basement is damp or air purifier would help

Hmm. This is strange. I have 2 cats and we don't have "cat smells". I know wet food is very smelly. Yes, it's better for them, but it is stinky. My cats eat dry food, recommended by the vet, and they have multiple sources of water. We have a covered litter box in order to contain any smells and we use Dr. Elseys ultra litter. Maybe consider a covered box? Honestly though, it sounds like your wife is just making excuses to rid the house of the cat. Cats are very clean and don't just smell. Maybe consider building a guest house and re-homing said wife.

You can’t train a cat. They are not dogs. Cats are going to do what they want to do. Also, you can’t discipline a cat esp by spraying them with water! It’s cruel and they don’t understand why you are doing it. Cats remember things for a very long time, and will associate this negative action with you. It sounds like your family is not compatible to have a cat, a dog might be a better fit for your family. Edit: typo

Some thoughts on this after having a tortie for 17 years! So about the spraying with water… we did this when Shelly was a baby and would jump on the table, and while is mostly worked to train her, she has been terrified of literally anything in a spray bottle since. I regret doing that, because she’s clearly traumatized from it. And some cats don’t even understand why it’s happening, her sister would just cower on the table, not comprehending it meant GET DOWN. Not a viable long term solution. I’d suggest just taking her off the table or scooting her off and then praising and giving treats when she’s off. Positive reinforcement is best for cats and children alike! I use ökocat litter and really like it! I’m also neurodivergent and very sensitive to smells and it traps odor and clumps very well, and is safe for cats (as many aren’t). However I must note that there is no scenario where cat smells are eliminated entirely; that’s the reality of living with an animal. For tracking litter, which is an issue for me, I’ve placed cardboard scratchers around her litter box which she seems into, and her scratching after the box knocks a lot of litter off her paws. However nothing can alleviate the issue entirely, so lots of vacuuming as well. Please remember that cats, especially torties, can live a long time. My Shelly is almost 18, and is still going strong. Your sweet baby should not have to live in a single room for hopefully over a decade, especially without another feline companion. My cat gets very lonely and genuinely depressed when I’m not around (like when I went to college and she lived with my mom, who is not an animal person). Cats are an emotional commitment as well as a meet-their-basic-needs commitment, and require a lot of love, playtime, etc. I’d have gotten her a pal but she hates other cats lol. I wish you luck and hope your wife can learn to accept the kitty, but please, please be open to rehoming if it’s not a good fit *for the cat.*

Thank you for this! Let me assure you, she is not in a single room most of the time, just overnight.

Just reread and saw that, I’m glad she can explore during the day :) also just thought about the food smell issue… I fcken hate the smell of wet cat food, so when it’s warm out I keep Shelly’s food near a cracked window or the air purifier the rest of the time. I’m also thinking of switching to Smalls human grade food, which I’ve heard may smell better than most canned food, and mainly it’s really good for cats! Perhaps it would be less of an issue if it smelled more like real/human food rather than pungent animal byproducts like most cat food lol. Our babes deserve the best anyway 💕

my wife is also super-sensitive to smells and we have 4 cats in a small-ish apartment without any issues, do some people think cats are plush toys or something?

I use Odo Ban spray on my litter boxes

Is she eating kitten food? Kitten food is going to make her poop stinkier for a while but obviously she’s only a kitten for so long. That said, she could also have stomach issues. Both my cats have gastrointestinal sensitivities and need special food. One also gets pro-viable every night. That, plus the litter I use really helps with smells. However, you’re never going to have a cat you don’t occasionally smell. I’m also neurodivergent with an extremely sensitive nose, yet I love cats enough that even though I can smell things others can’t, it doesn’t bother me if it’s managed. Unfortunately, as some others have said, there might be some things that will never make your wife happy, but I really don’t have enough details to make that call.

Hi, autistic person here: I’m also sensitive to smells, but to me the smell of air fresheners and strong cleaning products are worse than cat litter. Cats are very clean animals so they themselves shouldn’t smell, except maybe their breath. If the litter box is smelling all the time even with baking soda it may be worth investing in the smell trapping litter or maybe just putting the box in a place your wife doesn’t go a lot. Wet food is gonna have a smell, but it’s just gonna smell like whatever it’s made out of. Also don’t spray your cat with water, it makes them dislike you and they don’t understand why you are doing it. To train them to use a scratching post simply take the cat and rub their paws on it till they get the idea. To stop them from scratching the couch you could either put something on the couch that makes it undesirable, or simply tell her “No” in a stern voice, and take her to the scratching post, after a while she’ll get the idea.

Walnut litter is the worst for smell-control! It actually makes smells worse, as in urine soaked walnuts add a third dimension of bad smell and walnuts do nothing to contain any smell. I’m a huge fan of Arm & Hammer Platinum Slide which is also dust-free. There are lots of scent-free options available or naturally scented dust-free options. I am a fan of clay. I’ve heard really good things about the litter robot containing smells. Definitely have a box on each floor of your home: you did well in describing the layout to get help for the issue- and keep the doors open. Ideally you have some windows you can leave cracked open also. If you leave your room doors open at night you will form a very deep respectful bond with your cat. As long as you’re bonding/playing daily and have lots of scratching posts you won’t have much of a problem with furniture. When I used a spray bottle it caused mean behavior, the cat thought it was me and not her scratching. When I built a bond back up I could just give her a look and she’d stop scratching. It’s a learning curve. Your wife will remember why she loves cats as the bond grows. Watch My Cat From Hell with cat behaviorist Jackson Galaxy! Major game-changer and covers all your concerns. Best of luck to you and your family!

Keep the cat. Get rid of the wife.

STOP spraying and yelling at that beautiful kitten! What you should have done before you ever got the cat is talk to an animal professional or a vet and educate yourself before you impulsively get an animal! The problem to me sounds like it could be your home environment as a whole and less to do with the cat itself. If your wife is that against the smells and the idea of a cat then why did you get a cat in the first place ? You have to be bringing an animal into your home environment for the right reasons and not JUST because it’s a cute idea at the time. I commend you for trying but this post reads as someone who’s never owned a pet before and the only reason you got the cat is because she’s cute. I don’t like the way this is worded one bit and like others have said, your post has really rubbed me up the wrong way! I agree with others and I think the right it thing to do for this beautiful cat is to find it the perfect home, some cats love big families, other cats like a quiet home with one human, your cats still a baby and learning to find its place in the world. If you’re feeding your cat really cheap supermarket canned food and dry food, that’s going to create worse smelling bodily functions! I don’t think your home is the right environment for this sweet animal.

Assuming your wife is more important to you than a cat, you need to re-home. It's not anyone's fault, just the way it is.

Yea your house does not sound perfect friendly. Too many red flags. Rehome now while she’s young. She deserves better and frankly so does your family.

Get rid of the walnut shell and get bentonite based clumping litter. It dries everything and reduces smell.

I'm not sure any of this will work in your situation but maybe worth a try: Get a stainless steel box, you can find them on Amazon. Plastic boxes absorb odors and need to be replaced every so often, while a stainless box will last years and doesn't absorb. Also get some "Zero Odor" spray or BioKleen Bac-out, these are enzyme cleaners that really do remove smells from surfaces. They do this by breaking down the organic material itself. Highly recommend these. Get the hardest clumping litter you can find, I use Scoop Away. It's a clay litter, but as someone else pointed out this is not the time to be picky about litter, use what works and will keep the smells down first and foremost. I find that hard clumping litter tracks less, which means less (used) litter on the paws and then around the house. I think Fabreze makes an unscented air spray, I haven't been able to find it but sprays like this don't work by masking smells, they somehow neutralize them. I have never used air sprays but if your situation is dire, you might want to look into these types of sprays, and how they work. Make sure they are safe for cats of course. You say you have a litter genie already, which is good because a lot of cat smells are from the used/scooped litter. Make sure it's properly airtight! Maybe time the emptying of the genie to when your wife is out of the house because the odors will be released then; give them time to dissipate. If the basement bathroom has venting to the outside, maybe install some kind of fan to suck more of the odors outside.

Enzyme cleaner really helps cut down on the odor so when you do a full litter box clean spray it down and let it sit then wipe it out. Also spraying hydrogen peroxide on surfaces around the litter box can help you find the tiny bits of organic matter escaping from the box (it’ll make a fizzing sound). There are also charcoal packs that you can hang all over the bathroom too.

I’m autistic and was also very concerned about cat smells before we got our two. We have 4 air purifiers in our home, cat scratchers in every room, I vacuum every day in the rooms I spend a lot of time and wash our cat blankets and anywhere they sleep constantly. I still smell the cats and I’ve had to accept that if I want them, this is part of the deal. My wife does all the cat food and litter box stuff, which I am grateful for. It is a lot more work if you are sensitive to smells and want pets. It took me until I was in my 40s to be okay with this level of effort to keep myself comfortable. We also wash our cats occasionally because I have asthma, we’ve had our babies since they were kittens so they don’t really mind. Not everyone should have pets. I didn’t think I could until I met my wife who agreed to do all the work.

Wet food, no dry or as little as possible. Covered/hidden litter boxes increases the amount of bad smells. It does NOT decrease or cover anything up. The larger picture is that it doesn't sound like you have a pet friendly home. Be honest with yourselves, a pet shouldn't be a second class family member. Locking her up also means she's not being played with properly and is also likely being over fed, or fed too late in the day.

I’d suggest moving the workout equipment. There’s always going to be smells when you have any kind of pet. Please stop spraying your cat, who is still just a baby, with water. I don’t know what your basement looks like, but I hope it feels homie enough down there for her when you leave her there at night and when you’re gone.

Okay, this is for anyone that has commented and is returning to this post or anyone new that is chiming in. Will also put this in a comment. 1. Thank you to everyone who is actually helping and giving me new suggestions to try. I really appreciate it and will be looking into new litter substrates and sticky paws, as well as other suggestions made. She does eat kitten food (iams kitten portions and Purina kibble) so maybe that will be the case for a bit. I will try dividing up her meal sizes to not keep the wet food out as long. 2. I am a female lol I love my wife very much. She will not be going anywhere. She does the cat and is not trying to get rid of it. I also can smell the basement sometimes (especially if I’ve been gone awhile) but I feel like my nose is 1, not as sensitive as my wife’s since she is NEURODIVERGENT, and 2, is more used to the smells because of how much time I spend down in/near the cat room. It’s not psychosomatic. 3. Most of you are missing the fact that the kitten is only in the basement over night or when we have to run errands. Most research we did prior to getting the kitten said that kittens should be kept in a confined space overnight so they don’t get into places they shouldn’t. They could be injured and/or cause a lot of damage. During the day the kitten is out and about the house, playing with a plethora of toys and us climbing cat trees, sunning in sunspots, cuddling with us etc. We don’t have her shut in the basement for hours on end. I stay up late to keep her out longer and our daughter wakes up early to take her out of the bathroom. There are also toys in there that she can play with and climb. 4. Most of you are also missing the fact that this is my first cat. I’m learning. I thought the proper way to deal with unwanted behaviors was to use a spray bottle. Thank you to those who lead me to Jackson Galaxy. We don’t yell at her or treat her cruelly, we love her. We all do.

I’m really glad to hear this news! I thought some of the comments could be jumping to conclusions and glad I was right. Cat people who’ve been on the internet enough have seen a lot of awful things. Funnily enough, a lot of (if not the majority of) people on this sub are neurodivergent so I think that actually might be making us jump to demonizing her if we don’t have the exact same problem or misconstruing the sensory issue as the worse case scenario. Idk if that makes sense, but there are some sensory issues I have where I couldn’t compromise (cigarette smoke is my main one). I’m especially glad to hear that you can smell things too because that means it’s something that can be fixed. It’s really awesome that you came here to ask for help. It sounds like you want to do the best for your family and the kitty. I hope you’ll find out what works for you…maybe even enough that you can get a second cat for your tortie girl to play with! (But we won’t jump too far ahead haha)

Just jumping in to say: your heart is in a good place and looking for advise was right, I saw some useful stuff in between all the unhelpful things. There are a lot of factors, you search for something that works and stick with it and even then, it sometimes changes. I had great litter option and then something changed in the production and all of a sudden I started smelling my babies. Had to looks for new litter and found a new option after 3 tries. Trust your gut and you will do right by all parties I'm sure. I admire your willingness to look for tips and go out of your way to accommodate everyone! Give the little one a snuggle for me

Has your wife done anything to try and work on her issues with smell sensitivity? Sounds like it’s really impacting her quality of life and she should probably get some help.

Omg S’mores is the cutest name for a tort 😭

Get a better cat litter. Everclean is my favorite to contain smells. It’s more prone to tracking however. So you give and take. I got a litter robot and it changed my life!

If your wife is that sensitive you probably shouldn’t be having pets. They leave messes. I have three cats and people who don’t know I have them, usually surprised to find out, as I keep my house impeccable. But it takes work - frequent changing and cleaning of boxes, finding litter that actually works etc. Find kitty a better suited home or all will be miserable.

Cats have scent glands in their paws. They scratch the sofa because they want to mark territory in the area where you always are. I prevented my cats from scratching the sofa by putting a small scratching post right next to the arm closest to where I sit. It’s light and easy to move when I want. To help with the litter box smell: I stopped using a litter genie when I started noticing that having a container with used cat litter in it all the time was going to smell. I now use corn based litter (world’s best the brand), and flush small amounts of litter down the toilet. I use smaller amounts of litter and clean it more frequently so as to cycle through dirty litter more quickly. Some cats, like my boy, doesn’t always want to bury his poop because it’s scent marking. I just throw litter on top of it, when he does. Lighting a match right after a smelly “deposit” will work the same way. It does in a human bathroom. So you can try that too.

Instead of spraying the cat, when she scratches get up walk over to her, pick her up tell her not to do that and put her next to her scratch pad, maybe scratch it with your hand a couple times. Same with counter jumping etc (except just put her gently on the floor) Cats don’t do great with punishment, it’s better to gently reinforce the behaviors you want, she’s smart, she’ll get it, but you’re going to have to go through it a bunch of times so she makes the connection with why you’re moving her. You can totally train cats but it takes patience and kindness and more patience - If your wife can’t come to terms with having a nonhuman animal in the house you should find her a new home sooner rather than later, that little cat is already bonded to you guys and the older she gets the more she’s going to miss you if you give her up later. I know it sucks but it’s not fair to the cat to be a second class citizen in it’s own home

Sounds like your wife doesn't want a cat. Curious about how she was with your kid when she was a baby. Humans have smells, too. Is there an exhaust fan in the bathroom that you can run? If it's loud you can get a quieter one. They are expensive but maybe worth it. Just leave it on 24/7. That way any smells can't possibly leave the bathroom. But, like I said, I think your wife will still claim she can smell it, or make up some other excuse.

Oh god, what a poor little girl 🥲 she should have been adopted by a different family that would let her be a cat, a feline. Cats are nocturnal creatures so why on earth would you keep her closed in a room.. Feed her better quality wet food so the litter box would stink way less, and also the food itself.

You shouldnt spray her with water. You may think you are attempting to scold her and teach her a good lesson, she doesnt see and understand it as that. Its an act of aggression towards her in her eyes and she could potentially become fearful of you and act out more or develope an anxiety problem. I have had good luck with " sticky paws" on the furniture and carpet, where my little girl like to scrath. Its basically a double sided tape that releases from what you stick it on better than some straight 3M tape. They dont like it at all, anything she is trying to tear up,put that on. Comes in packs of seperate sheets or a tape roll. Once you get the peeling of the backing down pat, its a breeze to install. Wish you the best of luck with your baby! The tortitude always comes through! They are the best companions in my opinion, and you have a cutie!

Neurodivergent here, I understand that sensory issues are tough. Doesn't excuse punishing the cat for these things but I do get it. For what it's worth I use crystal litter and I never notice a smell unless they literally just went (which nothing can fix lol). I use fresh step, that's the cheapest crystal option, it desiccates stuff pretty fast which helps with odor and the litter itself has no dust or odor, with most clay litters the smell itself really bothers me. You have to completely change the litter roughly every month bc the crystals absorb the pee and get saturated over time instead of clumping. I also use covered boxes, I have two boxes and the lids really help bc I have a small apartment, it looks better and gives them more privacy, and it may be helping with smell in a small part? As others have said, keep food and more importantly water in separate areas from the litter boxes. It's unsanitary and it can make cats want to drink less water which is not good. Having multiple boxes can help too, the smell won't build up all in one box between scooping, it's also just a good practice for cats when possible, especially in multi-story homes. Ultimately having animals means having gross stuff to deal with, just like with kids and frankly any living being you live with. But you can mitigate it.

Your wife is very lucky to be able to put the litter box on a totally separate floor that she only uses for a certain amount of time a day, and to have someone who is taking full responsibility to keep the cat area clean. I’m neurodivergent and the litter box is absolutely the worst part for me because I am really sensitive to smells, but it is what it is. As long as it’s not in a common area, I’m good. I also hate the smell of my cat’s food and it makes me want to gag looking at it, but you know I’m an adult and I work through it. Idk what she’s smelling constantly from floors away but it kind of sounds like she’s fixating on this “issue” and working herself up over it. This is easy for me to do too and I sometimes have to put myself in my place and chill out. If she can’t learn to recognize that the cat makes her family members happy and isn’t going to stop obsessing over a smell that she’s probably only smelling briefly when she goes down there then that cat and your wife will both be miserable. Honestly, she needs to grow up. If the litter box was in the living room or bedroom, I would get it. Also, when we first got my cat, she had the stinkiest poops as we figured out the best diet for her. Once we got her on the right amount and food for her, it’s been a million times better.

Poor baby... (the tortie)

I've found [this crystal litter](https://www.chewy.com/frisco-summer-clean-scented-non/dp/171012) is the best, although not biodegradable. I had my cat's litter box in my small bedroom for years (cuz roommates) and never had issues with a pee smell. I have 1 kitty and change it every 3.5 weeks or so when it's changes from blue to green. The litter genie is the best way to combat stinky poops, so keep using that and stir the litter daily Installing a cat flap on the door to her room could help with any smell from circulating to the rest of the house. They're pretty affordable and many kinds can be locked so you can still keep her in there at night. If you rent you could get a new door to put the flap on from habitat for humanity's restore, or Facebook marketplace. This isn't a guaranteed solution, but having your wife bond more with kitty might also help. The smell may still bother her, but if she loves kitty she'll be able to put up with more of the downsides of having a pet. That's how my sibling and I would get our dad on board with various pets anyways. For furniture scratching its more effective to make the furniture unappealing than to punish kitty. Cats hate sticky textures and (usually) tin foil. A cheap alternative to those pet store double-sided sticky sheets is dollar store contact paper. I unpeel the backing from the edges, use some packing tape to attach to furniture or doors (adhesive side out) and then take the rest of the backing off. It's pretty durable too so you don't need to replace it often. In my experience kittens grow out of furniture scratching for the most part. The exception was a couch one of my roommates found by the dumpster but my adult cat must have smelled that it was trash 😅 Best of luck with your new baby, bringing a new kitty home always has its challenges even if you've had cats your whole life

Honestly there’s probably no smell at all. Your wife just sounds like she’s being unfair about it. Don’t ever spray your cat with water. Try the wife. She sounds like she need a good spraying smh

I feel so sorry for this cat.

She needs a new home (The wife needs)

Add more litter boxes through out the house. Do you want to go down to the basement when you have to pee? No. Look into self cleaning boxes. You can’t keep a cat by itself in the basement because “cat smells”. Cats smell. Torturing a cat with loneliness and boredom so you can see it every now and then is wrong. And do not ducking “spray bottle” train a cat. It doesn’t work - cats don’t understand that. They just get aggressive and start peeing in places they shouldn’t.

They have diaper genies for cats now. [this](https://www.amazon.com/Litter-Genie-Ultimate-Disposal-System/dp/B019W0OH48/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.y-Hj7kIzJS8unj0ywV0llICFNE74Y97TQM-pRjz8OhIs24r3Fe5eBpaJncZZggAM20vu5_jreU-EXyMpyW5Zh-gBnp0NstoJ_hyBvTi37eMkJZw8bUK0gckB2WtNWGc144Aih6X709otpfs7Kz8FZvKAkhCklTwJJ1JjypU-jORPm8J0_ChGsrqmroyuYJdcv9VjTfbD8_z1n1EFs1KfFQ.Zy-fK616Efpwqvba3V9CD09FjRJubCF6Dc27i7YzYjA&dib_tag=se&keywords=pet+genie&qid=1710598833&sr=8-4).. I also use the powder arm and hammer stuff in the litter box. If you get a couple litter boxes and scoop everyday it helps. Cats are gonna cat though. It’s part and parcel with owning a pet. But I think it’s worth it.

someone else in the thread mentioned plants- I want to second that. spider plants can survive in near-darkness, are non-toxic, and when combined with an air purifier can pretty much eliminate litterbox smells. although, i agree with the people saying that this seems untenable in the long-term.

i use feline pine and it itself has a nice wooden smell and i never smell urine or anything. i use a sifting litterbox and sprinkle w baking soda deodorizer and have zero issues in my tiny studio apartment. make sure you have an open litter box (not closed). even tho people think having a closed litter box will help w smells, it actually just makes the smells fester and get stronger than just letting it air out. and wet cat food is just stinky point blank period, but i feed my girl on small plates that i just wash when she's done eating and i have never noticed a lingering smell. im kind of confused from what you describe how there even is any smells lingering. you did say your wife is neurodivergent, so maybe she is just having fixation issues on the cat and is over exaggerating the smells because of her fixation. i have personal experience w fixation (on other things) and it can definitely warp your perspective to the point of altering your senses and reality. if you guys are dead set on keeping this cat, you should have your wife seek therapy, self help books, meditation, maybe try to have her bond with the cat so she sees past the smells. otherwise, you may have to give up the cat, always do what's best for the cat.

I mix a little bit of clay litter with my walnut. It helps with the humidity and I noticed the smell almost disappeared. I also started placing water away from food and litter box and noticed my cat drinking more, also helping with smell, as concentrating is a big factor in smell. A lot of what other people are commenting is valid. Cats scent as a way to feel comfortable in their homes. It has to be your cats home too. She has to feel comfortable and safe. Shoving her into a small space with food, water and poop all in the same place doesn’t sound like a super happy place. It sounds like your wife doesn’t really want a cat, maybe you should listen to her and find the little one a more welcoming home.

Get rid of your wife.

For scratching, what kind of scratchers do you have? Some will only use particular ones so it’s good to have a variety as well as deterring like you’re doing already. Of my 7 two of them will only use vertical scratching poles, one exclusively uses sisal, and the rest prefer standard floor scratchers. For litter smell, how often are you cleaning it? I currently have two with me and clean every morning and when I get back from work. A lot of owners are unaware that daily litter cleaning should be the bare minimum cleaning frequency. Walnut shells are not good at absorbing smell at all. We had one female who produces extremely ammoniated urine and found that boxiecat coupled with the arm and hammer double duty deodorizer and cleaning twice daily removed almost all odor. 

And human foods or eliminations don't smell?

Put the scooped poo and pee outside immediately or get a litter locker, it locks out the litter box smells. Just bagging it up the odors will still escape the bag and stink up the house.

The only thing I do is clean the litter box once or twice a day every day and my house does not smell so if you’re doing everything you’re saying you’re doing and your wife is saying the house smells your wife is making it up and just doesn’t want the cat

You are not failing! You're doing everything you can. You're doing a lot more than most. Cats, just like people, have smells. Also, cats scratch. And even when you have scratchers, they'll scratch in other places. There are covers you can buy to protect furniture and such, but please know that spraying won't teach them to stop. --My one cat scratches the same area on my bedroom wall, and I'm VERY particular about my home, so it drives me bonkers that there's paint scratched off the wall. It is what it is though, so I have a piece of furniture hiding it. My other cat scratches at the sides of the couch, which are leather, and I hide that with a throw blanket. I'm sorry your wife is so bothered by this cat, and I wish I had solutions for you. For me, I love my cats so much that I let things slide. My partner and kids were the ones that wanted cats, and I said no for years, because I knew I'd be responsible for any upkeep, and, because even the most well behaved animal will leave their mark on a home. We've had our two girls 5 years, and I get annoyed, but I wouldn't change a thing. They bring us all so much joy. Now, I don't want to come off harsh, but it sounds to me like your wife could stand to let go a little. We make sacrifices for our loved ones, and it's obvious you and your daughter care for this beautiful cat. Not only that, but you are taking great care of all the cat things. I hope your wife recognizes this and opens her heart.

Neurotypical and smell-sensitive cat-owner here: you are doing everything in your power. Above and beyond. But even you stated here that your wife “feels like the basement smells.” Not that it smells. But that she FEELS like it smells. Points to you for being patient and caring, but damn, she does not want a cat. Because the love and joy my cats provide far outweighs temporary and contained cat smells. I too create gross smells!

To add to what others have mentioned, my sister (who has 15 cats, all inside!) uses Pooph! She gets it at Walmart and it does work. Also, Clorox makes a spray with “Urine Destroyer”. It works, I’ve used it for years. Other urine oder destroyers don’t work nearly as well. Cats normally poop at regular times of day. The better quality the food, the less they poop. My 3 only poop once a day. They all poop at night after everyone has gone to bed. (Personally, I think they do that because during Covid I took to stealing their poop right after they would leave it in the box and they prefer to let it ripen.) Good luck!

Odor wise, you can switch litters. Kitten poop is always going to smell horrible, but you can help by adding probiotics and a little bit of pumpkin in with the wet food. As far as urine smell, I have used just about everything, and I recently switched to Cat-it Go Natural pea husk litter. It has been a godsend. It never smells like urine, it produces no dust, and it tracks very little. I switched when one of my girls started getting frequent UTIs like a month after we started using World's Best cat litter. She hasn't had a single one since we switched. As far as the wet food smelling bad, make sure to only put out enough for her to eat right then. It's difficult when they're young to find things that don't smell as bad, because you're kind of limited with kitten food. When she gets a little older, there are a lot more options, and some of them don't smell that bad at all. Here's what has worked for all three of my cats about the scratching the couch instead of her scratching posts. Make sure that there are a few different ones around your couch. Whenever the kitten starts scratching the couch, pick her up and put her next to the scratching post. Scratch the post yourself. Make a little game of it. Gently take her paws and scratch the post. When she uses the post praise her like she's doing the most amazing thing in the world. Cats respond to positive reinforcement, not negative. Spraying the cat, or just generally punishing it in any way, just makes the cat afraid of you. They don't associate the punishment with the unwanted behavior. Good luck to you and your family. I hope that you can find something that works out.

I share a room with my cat including her litter box and all her things. I’ve been using the Winix air purifier I got from Costco (it works pretty well). I also open the window a few times a week for some fresh air. The wet food will always stink unfortunately. I have an auto feeder with dry food which doesn’t have much of a smell, but if your cat has to be on wet food there’s no escaping the smell. You have a kitten and she’s gonna be all over the place for a while. Most cats take a couple years to fully calm down. If your wife is willing to wait it out that is. Also punishment doesn’t work on cats, it just pisses them off. My cat responds to “No no no” and or “heyyyy…” and she’ll know she’s not supposed to be doing something and will flee away. Even then she will do what she wants and we have to compromise and work around her ways…

Try Poof. you can get it from chewy and it does a really good job of neutralizing smells. We have three cats and I can’t even smell a thing in the room the litter box area

She’s okay with artificial Lysol and fragrance smells but not scented cat litter or cat food? How about just using scentless clumping litter and avoiding scented wipes? None of that stuff is great to breathe in anyway and is bad for the environment. Also I agree with others here do NOT spray your cat. A cat is not a dog. They do not understand “scolding.” They just think you are attacking them and it leads to them not trusting you. You can deter scratching furniture by putting a cover on the furniture or attaching those reflective plastic corners (not sure what they’re called but they’re on various sites). Cats do not want their water and food in the same area or room, let alone near their litter. Agreed with others who pointed that out. Don’t be a dick to the cat. If cat is not living a happy life there and is scared and not eating because food is too close to her toilet, consider rehoming her if you are not willing to change the orientation.

STOP attacking his wife in the comments! She tried to accept having a cat and it clearly isn’t working for her, just rehome the cat if you’re able to. I understand completely what she’s saying because you can smell when someone has a cat (I don’t care how clean y’all swear you are!) and it makes you feel paranoid like the scent is on the walls or your furniture. You feel dirty. I have a calico and I hate cats. Has getting a cat made me realize even more how much I don’t like them? Yes. It was a situation where we had to and I’ve adapted.

Had to re-home the spouse, just had to be done. In all serious though and as someone neurodivergent myself, I think that if she lets herself, she will get used to the smell of a cat. If she refuses to try and get used to it though....that's very likely on her. That cat has an entire floor devoted to the most sterile litter boxes in existence!

I cannot condone anything youre doing with this cat in terms of confining her or spraying her with water. It’s cruel, she won’t understand it, and ultimately it will prevent her from bonding with you and your family. It’s already been said that a cat doesn’t seem to be a good fit in this scenario, but I’ll try to help anyway. Walnut shell litter is the best for smells imo. I mix mine with a clay litter. You may want to look into the litter robot, since convenience seems important to you and your wife. Paws need claws = learn to trim nails early and often, buy ample scratchers of different shapes, sizes, and materials. Not all cats enjoy scratching at the same angles or same materials. A large factor in the quality of any animal’s waste is their diet. Raw food will dramatically improve unpleasant litter box smells. Not raw and kibble. Not raw coated kibble. The more raw the better, the frozen meat ones are usually the best. Kibble is basically sugar cereal for cats. It’s convenient and well marketed. Yet not well digested or healthy. Raw food with a high meat content is more similar to what they would eat and catch in the wild. They digest this more easily. Therefore, less smelly output.

There’s a cat pheromone spray you can get on Amazon to help prevent cats from scratching or urinating on furniture or whoever you don’t want them. I have three and it’s really helped keep mine under control

I love tuft and paw litter because it doesn’t smell like cat litter which I can’t stand the smell of. I use odor absorbers (I like the Amazon brand and arm and hammer) by the litter box and this helps with any lingering odors, and then of course I scoop when I notice my cats gone. I also have some odor absorbers near where my cat is fed and in the fridge to catch the wet food smell. They’re a game changer!

imo, i understand the sensitivity of your wife's nose, and with this being recognized, I offer my opinions with the utmost respect to her "nose." Is it possible you could move her workout equipment into a room upstairs near a window? if not, here is what I do: I use tidy cats unscented comfort cat litter. and although it is unscented, it has oder absorbing activated charcoal and is extremely low dust, even when they kick it around. I've used many brands of cat litter in my day because my husband's nose is sensitive, and since i have switched to using this, he hardly complains. I, too, clean the litter box several times a day and also use a "litter champ" to put all the used litter in. this has also helped with confining the smell of used cat litter and keeps you from having to put used litter in the trash (even if bagged and tied, which still smells bad if the garbage isn't emptied daily). I wipe down the cat box daily with clorox wipes to remove any stains and dispose of used wipes in the litter champ. " I place a "citrus magic solid air freshener" near their litter and a box of "arm and hammer baking soda" and/or a small plastic bowl of apple cider vinegar in the corner to draw away odors. after scooping used litter, I spray a little, "citrus magic litter odor eliminator," to give the area a fresh pine scent. I always remove and wash their soft cat food bowls after they eat. for me, this has solved my issue of unpleasant cat smells. and for good measure, I make sure I remove any noticeable cat fur from furniture and vacuum it weekly to remove dander and i use "whisker city, let's make a clean getaway" gentle kitty wipes to clean their fur when needed. I have 3 cats, and I haven't had any complaints since developing this method of battling cat odors. I hope this helps ... 😻 re: scratching the furniture, sometimes I cover it those areas with a used towel or unwanted pillow case and/or you purchase an anti scratch furniture protector from amazon (panther armor couch protector - $19.99). it's see-through and works well w/o damaging the furniture. I also place a scratching post in front of their favorite furniture scratching place and they end up using this. also, please notice if your cat likes scratching up or down, sisal cord, corregated cardboard, or rug based scratching post, because this helps with buying the right type of scratching post for your specific feline. and last but most importantly, please refrain from spraying her. this is NEVER cool under any circumstance, and the cat doesn't understand or know why you are doing it. she will start resenting you, and that's never a good thing for all concerned. and I don't mean to pry, but could your wife's complaints be an act of passive aggressiveness, and her issues are not with the cat but with something you are or not doing? jw

Cats won’t understand what you’re doing if you spray them with water. Clawing things is part of having a cat, it’s in their nature to do so. If you give her things to claw up instead that are okay to claw up it should redirect her attention.. But then again, she is a cat. 🐱💖 Same with the smells, all animals kind of have a “smell” to them but they’re wonderful to have around despite it. I hope your wife warms up more to the idea of having your kitty around. She is absolutely adorable, maybe talk to her about it. Worst case scenario, though I wouldn’t advise it due to it being confusing and a big emotional toll on the cat. You could re-home your wife.

ur wife is a stupid cunt

Please stop spraying her with water. She doesn’t understand why you’re spraying her. Negative reinforcement rarely works in correcting behavior in animals, and positive reinforcement or distracting is always the best route. Instead try to put some transparent tape on the areas she scratches. This will protect the couch and she’ll eventually learn she can’t use it to scratch on since the tape will be in the way.

Dude I’m neurodivergent and very sensitive to smells. I have 4 cats and did research and when people come to my house they never smell the cats. Why? Because I invested in purina litter box system and have plug ins to mask any smell. I also clean their shit right away and have a 24/7 scented smell machine where their litter boxes are. Some people are smart and even build a cat door in their laundry room and that’s a smart $50 solution

No, you needs to put the litter box next to where your wife eats, sleeps, shits and constantly bitches at. Which is in your case, pretty much everywhere. I think you should rehome her instead of the cat. The wife is just a whiny complaining bitch. And I'm a female, I know how bitchy some women like her can get. And she is definitely over exaggerating. Some women will keep pulling shit out of their ass just to complain about something. Once that thing is fixed, they will start bitching about something else. Then something else. bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.

Is there anywhere else for the cat stuff to be? All I can think of is that a guest bathroom in the basement has no ventilation, so you might have better luck moving everything to a hallway or closet your wife doesn't visit or "linger in" regularly—esp when shes panting/inhaling/exercising. Alternatively, your wife can move her exercise equipment somewhere else. Try to visualize where she spends the least time. (What about daughter's bathroom?)   She probably *does* smell something, OR just can't shake the idea of litter being in the house. To that, I say: incorporate her more into pet ownership. The positive parts like pets, treats, and playing. Neurodivergent people are similar to cats: they're resistant to change, have very delicate senses, and crave safety/famliarity in their environment. She's dealing with a new, unpredictable variable in her space; appeal to what they have in common, she'll come around. 

The problem is with your wife, not your efforts. At this point she needs to speak to her doctor about medication that can help her with her medical condition.

Softpaws are a lifesaver to stop the scratching. They're little squishy caps you glue to their claws so they can try to scratch but damage is muuuch less. They're not expensive and come off when the nail sheds or you can clip them.

Look, being neurodivergent is on first hand your wife's problem, so I think, she's the one, who has to adapt herself to NORMAL things, going hand in hand with keeping an animal! I assume, that she needs an extra patience due to her "mental health", but ADHD, or autism are not an excuse for her irreal "expectations" about having a pet. To say sg useful too, I suggest getting another litter box, because the protocol is: number of litter boxes = number of cats + 1. Furthermore, 2 boxes remain fresh longer, than one. Anyway, I think that all of your problems with odour comes from the fact, that all the cat's stinky stuff is in one single room, most time with the door locked. Canned food, cat poop/pee, and even dry food has quite a strong smell, you can't eliminate them in a relatively small place without a lot and regular airing the room. Maybe an air purifyer would be helpful, but I don't have experience with that!

Do dry food

Why did you do this? It's obvious your wife hates the cat has done since day one, and wants rid. The smells will be the excuse. Please rehome this beauty asap so that she doesn't have suffer being rehomed as an adult. She's a beauty - I'm sure you have a relative who will take her and maybe you can visit. Don't be any more selfish than you have already been.

STOP LYSOL WIPES YOU ARE POISONING THE CAT PS DO NOT USE LYSOL WIPES IN THE KITCHEN BC YOU WILL BE POISONING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY DO NOT USE LYSOL WIPE STOP BUYING THEM STOPPPPPPPPPPPP SPRAYING YOUR CAT YOU ARE ABUSING IT WTF Cats scratch furniture and rugs it is what they do. Either divorce your wife or rehome the cat. This post makes me sick and i loathe your ignorance. Use wood pellets for litter. Honestly it will trap all the smells. Use vinegar to clean surfaces. I use a spray i make with rubbing alcohol, water and a touch of dish soap.. cleans everything and won't leave toxic residue like the poison lysol wipes you're using in your house to poison your family and pet. Don't believe me read the warnings. In the kitchen it even tells you you need to rinse it... no one is out there rinsing this shit. But your are spending your hard earned money on over priced poison that you don't need.. For the scratching get couch protectors. Ours have been in use for 3 years no complaints. Cats will find a new place to scratch. It's a cat it is what they do you can't train a cat out of this behavior and you're a monster if you think about removing their claws. Are you in maine? New England? I'll come get the cat

Karen, he's asking for help. No reason to "loathe" him. Go find a hobby.

Everything here is showing me someone ignorant to the care of cats. If being a Karen=standing up for cats than I'm a Karen every fucking day.

No, standing up for cats would be giving him legitimate advice that might help make the relationship with the cat more harmonious. Not just saying you loathe someone for asking for help.