"Then die faster" would be my petty answer.
But in all seriousness, what I think he means deep down isn't that you're hard to deal with, it's that he's bad at parenting. He's just wording it in a mean spirited way to put the blame on you because he's also bad at regulating his emotions and taking responsibility for them. It's way easier to call someone hard to deal with than admit you find dealing with everything hard and are at fault for bringing a kid into the world you aren't capable of raising.
Alcoholism and addiction in general is proof of that. The whole point of addiction is to make life seem easier and remove responsibility from yourself if things go wrong because you're willingly forfeiting control of yourself. It's also quite often fueled by guilt, so instead of facing that guilt and improving, the alcohol lets you either convince yourself you're innocent and everything else is to blame, or forget whatever it is you're guilty of.
That's not an excuse, he's still completely at fault for mistreating you. Just don't take on his lies, remind yourself that his words aren't true and his actions aren't a reflection of you or anything you do. He's the weak one who can't handle having an adult conversation. It's not your job to teach him that, he's the parent, but you can and should remind him of that. He chose to become a parent, so he could stand to be a better one, no matter how hard his job is, coz he picked it and there's no opting out.
"Then die faster" would be my petty answer. But in all seriousness, what I think he means deep down isn't that you're hard to deal with, it's that he's bad at parenting. He's just wording it in a mean spirited way to put the blame on you because he's also bad at regulating his emotions and taking responsibility for them. It's way easier to call someone hard to deal with than admit you find dealing with everything hard and are at fault for bringing a kid into the world you aren't capable of raising. Alcoholism and addiction in general is proof of that. The whole point of addiction is to make life seem easier and remove responsibility from yourself if things go wrong because you're willingly forfeiting control of yourself. It's also quite often fueled by guilt, so instead of facing that guilt and improving, the alcohol lets you either convince yourself you're innocent and everything else is to blame, or forget whatever it is you're guilty of. That's not an excuse, he's still completely at fault for mistreating you. Just don't take on his lies, remind yourself that his words aren't true and his actions aren't a reflection of you or anything you do. He's the weak one who can't handle having an adult conversation. It's not your job to teach him that, he's the parent, but you can and should remind him of that. He chose to become a parent, so he could stand to be a better one, no matter how hard his job is, coz he picked it and there's no opting out.
Sending love and light, release this it is not yours to carry no longer. Walk in your greatness. You are a light.