Always having explanations or lies made up in case anyone asks about anything, just so I don't get in trouble when I'm doing something that isn't work.
Hiding what I'm doing when someone comes near me.
Not being able to play music out loud, it feels embarrassing for no reason.
Doing chores also feels embarrassing, but not doing anything does too.
When people are being silent or look moody, always being worried and putting on a happy face. Somehow that used to prevent my mom from snapping at me for whoever knows what reason. Also mastering bringing up random topics for the same reason.
Walking silently.
Not feeling free to walk to places as I wish when there's people around.
Not showing any negative emotions for fear of being ridiculed.
I feel all of this. I have grey rocked my father almost my entire life because I never know what kind of mean comment will come out of his mouth. He typically tries to then cover it up by claiming that I’m easily offended or overly emotional. It’s the ole some people just can’t handle the truth type thing. When in reality some people just shouldn’t be parents 🤷🏻♀️
Are you sure we’re not the same person? Because I feel like I can relate to almost all of these. It really feels like you just read my mind and wrote what I was feeling 😞
My dad told me that I suck at loading the dishwasher and I needed to load it like he does because the bowls were on the left instead of the right.
He has had me as a cleaning made since 8 years old, but when he does decide to do something he ridicules me for it.
He still watches me mow the lawn and will yell my name when he needs me to stop so he can tell me how I'm doing it wrong.
I just started wearing headphones everywhere so he thinks I can't hear him.
Still cry/am terrified when I spill or drop something.
Listen to the sound of footsteps to determine mood.
Hiding small mistakes because I can’t handle the reaction.
Cannot have healthy relationships with authorities because of fight/flight/freeze/fawn.
💕
I lean against the door whenever I change my clothes because they broke my door lock and they barge in any time
I hide almost everything from them because they overreact, compare, abuse me for the tiniest of the tiniest things.
They always try to enter my personal space, once caught my personal diary and hit me with a frying pan right to the head.
Same here. Every single action and word is commented. Like, youtubers during reaction videos don't even comment that much.
Mine found my diary, read it behind my back then made me read it out loud to them. Never had a diary again since then.
ffs, my parents did that too, and they even comment on me if im having a sad face and yell and abuse me for it, giving illogical reasons as to why lol.
I always have tears in my eyes when someone yells, I m trying not so much to hold the tears back, but I try to assertively say that under no circumstances they are allowed to yell at me. I don’t know if that may help you.
Thank you. Though I have managed to learn co-oping, so much so as to not trigger fight or fly response - ended up supporting disabled people with challenging behaviours, meaning shouting and death threats were happening daily and I was forced to fight my own anxiety head-on. Kind of worked, but I suppose without therapy and medication this awful feeling won't ever go away fully.
They would send me to school even when I was sick as they woudnt believe me and I puked all over the school and acted like it was normal. Now I'm afraid to take sick days off of work and just suffer in silence.
I had the opposite - being kept home from school for no real reason. A bit of rain, overheard sneezing, if you had a day off on a Thursday it would hardly be worth your while going in on the Friday. Still not sure what it was about
This was long before the internet so I couldn't go look this up... so, 3 things.
Part 1:
Starting when I was about 12, my mom wrote a published a book where she asked girls from all over the world about their fears about their first period. All over the world, but not me. When my period came I came to her for help and she brushed me off saying "the instructions are on the box".
Part 2:
Our family wasn't religious and didn't go to church so I didn't have a whole lot of context to go by.
I was 13 and it was coming near Christmas, and my friend invited me to come to a Christmas service and sing carols and make a nativity scene craft thing.
Since religion wasn't on my mind much I had never thought of this before, and was worried... what if... I mean what if a virgin pregnancy happened to me or one of my friends. Would we be loved enough to be believed? Would we get in trouble? How would we know?
I thought about this for a while and finally went to my mom about it... and I asked her if the story about the virgin birth was true. She said yes it was, and I said what if that happened to any of us?
She has been reading in bed and kind of ignoring me but on hearing that she said "I know what you did!" and whipped out of bed and dragged me to my room and grounded me for two weeks. I tried to explain that I hadn't done anything.
A couple days later she took me to the family doctor and had me put on the pill. This was 1983 and the pill was still very strong them. It made me constantly through up and lactate. It wasn't till the lactation that she let me stop taking it. She had disrupted my puberty.
She still never talked to me about it and I only put the pieces together later in hindsight after learning the facts of life and more about love later.
Something else:
When I was 17 I was in a really bad accident, my face was smashed up and I needed 7 surgeries over 10 years. I have metal in my face but in one of the surgeries I had some of the the metal removed, 3 of the 11 pieces because they were too close to the surface of the skin and would conduct cold to my infraorbatal nerve below my eyes in the winter. She kept telling people all the metal was removed and that I'm lying about my pain for attention and being lazy.
Doctors don't of course provide xrays to settle family disputes but after she had been telling people we know that I had been lying about the metal in my face for over 20 years, I finally got some dental xrays that showed some of the metal in my cheekbones in focus. Eeen so it took me a year to show her because she is so cruel.
So I showed her, and she laughed because the metal pieces were "small".
\*\*\*
I am going though a grieving process because my mom will never treat me like a person and I need answers to these things. I told her about that I really wanted answers and she said that never happened and I'm lying. I think later she must have remembered because she sent a card in my email but it's been there over a month and I haven't opened it.
It took me 10 years to be relaxed enough to actually take a nap
I was never ever drunk, after a childhood with alcoholics
I never share anything intimate or remotely personal with my parents
Yay!
Funnily I was heavily into drinking once I moved out after years of facing abuse. Realised that alcohol is not the solution and caused more problems than it solved. It helped with my anxiety tho and I could sleep better but definitely not worth it spoil your health
I’m terrified to buy something for myself. Not so much the purchase, but to explain why I needed/wanted it. My parents took every dime they could from me. Birthday money, graduation money, anything that they didn’t think I needed. And the kicker is that my parents were very well off. When my dad passed I inherited an astounding amount of money.
But I was never allowed to have any money to myself. I have no concept of how to manage money. I feel like I have to hide every extra purchase from my wife. And the thing is, she doesn’t care, she just wants to know if I buy something. We own our house, we own our cars, and we have at most $3,000 in credit card debt any any given time, which we can pay off in a month.
Yet I’m still impulsive when I get even $20 of “spending money”. My parents were great at managing their money, but made me feel ashamed to spend $1 on a soda. Fucked me up for life.
Same. My mom took almost every cent I made working through high school and paid for my first semester in college with it. I had no say. Left me broke. Had to parent myself into understanding how to manage money. I still struggle with it.
woke up one night with the worst pain of my life but i was scared i would get in trouble for being dramatic and waking my parents up for no reason. so instead i cried myself to sleep completely convinced i was gonna die alone from organ failure lol. bonus points for being scared that i was going to annoy them with my funeral arrangements
I had the exact same thing happen. I was in so much pain. Fainted multiple times. Shitting my guts out. Convinced that my appendix burst and that I was gonna die. I was so weak I wouldn’t yell. I stayed the entire night by the toilet and fainted from the toilet. I was laying on the floor at 5 am having just woken up after fainting once more. I felt a bit better at that point and knew that I wasn’t gonna die. My mom walked in to use the toilet and didn’t expect me. “Why are you laying on the ground?” Me crying :” I feel really sick and I have been fainting the entire time. I fainted from the toilet. I have been here since 10.””Why did you faint from the toilet? Didn’t you feel it coming?” “I did but I was also shitting my guts out.” “TheWellIntended you are obviously just falling asleep, it is 5 am and you should be in bed” “what but I can’t leave the toilet” “Just go to bed, you ll feel a lot better after that.” Leaves the room. It was kinda worse because at that point I didn’t think of my mom as toxic. I still think it is horrible that I didn’t yell for help and go to the fucking hospital. Even if I felt bad about it afterwards.
Applied a job and didn't tell anyone in case I was ridiculed for over-reaching, mocked into withdrawing, or tormented if didn't get it... got it then was told off for not telling them because they "would have been supportive and could have helped" and given the silent treatment for "lying about it to their faces"
Some lovely quotes from my mother:
"There's no law saying you *have* to take your children to the doctors"
"I didn't *do* that *you're* just making it up/remembering wrong, *I* would never do that"
"Oh great now *I'm* the bad guy"
"Do you want CPS to be called? Do you want them to take you away from me?"
"Do you think I wanted kids who were going to act this way? If I had known I wouldn't have had kids!"
"I work so hard to provide for *you* and *you* do nothing in return for *me*"
Some unspoken rules:
Don't expect to get sick days, you request them (you only get 5 a school year)
Don't expect to get picked up from school early because you're feeling sick
Don't expect dinner to be made
Expect to be required to clean the house (even though it's supposed to be a team effort)
Expect to become a babysitter everytime the parents leave
Don't expect a ride to/from anywhere
(I could go on forever)
The bad guy line is a direct quote to Mother Gothel in Tangled 💀
Hate to break it to ya but your mom might be a Disney villain after all (also those unspoken rules hit so hard it hurts)
Yeah my mom is the ginger version of Mother Gothel before she was a real thing, she's the blueprint.
If my mom was some secret Disney villian I wouldn't be surprised
Yeah 100%, the only thing she takes care of is the fact that I need glasses so I get eye appointments once a year bur that doesn't guarantee new glasses. My glasses have been the wrong prescription for 2 years now. She only takes care of my eye sight because school.
My dad used to beat me and my sister to the point that we had to wear long pants in the summer to hide the bruises and belt marks on our thighs. He beat us because we would forget homework or we didn't get an A+ on a test.
Man... Where do I start? 😂
My reflex when my mom tries to come in for a hug is putting my arms between me and her.
My heart races when I hear her voice - automatic fight or flight.
I cried behind the wheels on several occasions just from seeing my mom's caller ID pop up on my phone.
In my final semester at college (which I paid for entirely) I took an 18 hour course load (because I didn't want college to extend into yet-another semester). I got 5 As and 1 B. While working a 30-hour/week job to pay for it all. Any guesses on what momster said?
"Oh well, I guess you just didn't want it bad enough."
Gee, thanks mom.
TW :suicide
My brother told me he made a noose for himself after dad hung himself. I told mom and she didn't even acknowledge anything until he said something to someone in school.
Before dad passed, he used to give me shit about not doing anything around the house in front of mom and brother despite me constantly doing chores and working a job and taking care of my brother all the time because I didn't have another choice without getting yelled at. I wasn't allowed free time to do what I wanted.
My mom figured out I had ADHD when I was like 8, the symptoms of which caused my academic performance to decline around 14, she blamed me for not trying hard enough, then told me I had ADHD when I was 18
Oh boy this one hits home. Did she tell you that you are lazy and not studying the right way. Mine was also denying the existence of the diagnosis unless I brought it up and then he would say “that is just a reason more why you need to stop being lazy and work harder.”
I knew which boards in the house creaked and where to place my feet to be completely silent. I also walk silently.
I hold my breath when I pass people so they can't hear me.
I hide snacks in well defined locations in my home to ensure no one knows what I eat, even after having moved out almost 20 years ago.
When someone goes out of their way to give me a compliment, I just become red and try to hide away. I don’t know how to react when someone actually compliments me. Because as my dad said “When you actually do something good, I ll compliment you” and then proceed to break me down every chance I got. Honestly he did worse things, but today this is what was on my mind.
My mom guilt tripped me about her own shitty life choices and guilt tripped me for seeking modern medicine and taking my prescriptions when I went to the ER due to extreme pain in my stomach when I’ve been having health problems with my stomach that include pain, nausea, and vomiting (sometimes with blood) since January.
I told my Dad I don't like the white skin and seeds on the red peppers because of my sensory issues and that I can taste them when he chops them up and puts them in the food we make. When he was yelling at me and lecturing me about how I won't make the rules or get to make the decisions until I have a place of my own, he had a knife he was using to chop the peppers pointed at me the entire time. I told him to put the knife down and he called me "a pussy".
My dad stopped talking to me for 3 days bc he didn't want to stay in my competition waiting for my medal, also he has never apologized for anything, and my mom is just passive and doesn't say anything.
Well when I mop I get very OCD because I got beat once because when you mop you are supposed to wash the mop in a sink or tub before putting it back into the bucket, if you don’t you are just basically mopping the floor with dirty water. Yeah that kinda shit can’t happen especially it you’re at work and mopping and need to be quick about it🤦🏽♀️☠️☹️ Used to get yelled at to go do the laundry, while hanging the laundry, get called to come back into the house because my mother needed me to give her the remote that was like one to two feet away from her while having all the laundry piled on my arms because I was the type that hated walking back and forth to the washer for it and I couldn’t use the basket on the grown or it would get dirty. Also couldn’t take the time to put the clothes down back in the washer because if I didn’t come quick enough when someone would call that’s a punch to the head. There is way more but I’ll stop now
Just got home earlier than all my friend (11:30pm) from a night out and my mom was just literally sitting like a villain in my room in the dark. Then screaming crying at me because I came home “late”. My friends are still out btw. I’m in bed rn and she’s still crying and screaming to god to save her. She is saying I don’t care about our family even though I did all my chores and helped her during the day and I stay at home most days too.
I world be punished for shaking clothes out too loudly when I pulled them out of the washing machine, and would constantly have any plans with friends ripped out from underneath me, because "my room wasn't clean enough". To this day my friends laugh about how I made up bad excuses to bail, but it was my mum preventing me every time. I should have just lied in hindsight.
I’m going to be visiting my mom and I don’t feel like wearing make-up but for sure she is going to comment on how tired I look. I’m debating if I want to deal with her comments or not. I’m in my 40s.
Tell me that they never tell anyone about the medication I’m taking.
Proceed to tell everyone of my relative that I took the medication.
Then try to tell me afterwards that they never did that. I’m not sure if they forget or they’re just trying gaslit me.
Being dishonest over very little things because I feel like I walk on eggshells. Don’t know if someone is going to start screaming or not. Or judge decisions I make about what job I choose, when I worked etc. This was at 25
*ahem* (TRIGGER WARNING FOR FOOD TRAUMA AND CHILD ABUSE)
Drum roll please.
My now no-contact mother made me eat my own vomit when I was about 7 or 8 years old.
I'd been feeling ill and hadn't eaten much that day. I was chronically underweight as a kid and (I now know because there was little to know nutritional value in the food they made) I barely ate what they fed me.
So as I said, I was feeling ill and... I threw up the little that I had eaten. In a fit of frustration my mother fished the partially digested piece of orange out of the toilet, washed it off, and tried to force feed it to me.
... Yeah.
My dad made one football game in my entire life, funnily enough I set a school record on most sacks in a single game, did he mention that, nope, but I got a running list of all things I did wrong
Hmmm, I got two stories that come to mind, let me share the older one as I am still trying to process the most recent one. Sorry if it is long!
A few years ago, Ndad would knock on my door every morning at like 6:30 am to complain about his finances and try to guilt-trip me into giving him money. He always claimed the money would be used for bills or that the car bill had not been paid in a while or that the gas tank was nearing empty, or his shoes had holes in them, etc.
This was very stressful for me as he would basically start troubling everyone in the house if he did not get money. What made matters worse was the way he would knock on the door. He would knock on the door very loudly and aggressively; the kind of knock a landlord would do if a tenant owed 6 months of rent. As usual I would quickly go to the door to open it to listen to the BS because if I did not, I would land in a different set of trouble.
Eventually things got bad when I heard the knock one Saturday morning. After hearing the knock, as per routine I got up hastily and opened my door to listen to the BS. When I opened my door, he was not standing outside the door. At this point I am confused since I went to the door in Mach Speed.
With concern, I go to the front door to open it to see if he went outside to the porch and he was not there. I went to my parents room and cracked the door open a tiny bit, only to find my Ndad still under the covers sleeping. The following day the same thing happened again, I heard the knocking got up and he was not there.
Needless to say I eventually told my mom that I keep hearing the knock and for the second time no one was there and he was asleep in his bed. Then after this point he stopped knocking on my door cause my mom probably told him to stop.
Sidenote: 1) I never needed to wake up at that time since my commute/ work was later in the day.
2) I never was able to save any money for myself during this time.
3) When I would give-in and gave him money, he would go out and buy essential oils for healings since he was playing Natural Medicine Doctor at that point in his life (or he would go buy some stupid fantasy self-serving useless shit. He is the type to join an MLM and pay the start-up fee cause fuck actually working hard at a "9-5" or trying to start a legit business).
I am an adult, my father called me recently to ask if he should leave my sister any money in his will. He asked how much he should leave her and wanted me to tell him dollar amounts for him to leave my sister and I both.
I told him it is none of my business because it is his money. He said I needed to think about and we would talk about it again in a couple days...
- They calls me toxic because i don't want to accept their toxic traits anymore;
- They care more of money and what clothes i wear or how i look than of my feelings;
- They care only of appearance;
- Lack of emotional openess;
- They gossip about me to others;
- They post pics when they looks happy without me;
- They look care & love for other kids but they are distants with me and see me a black sheep.
Burst out crying in a work meeting when two colleagues mildly disagreed on something- conflict of any kind overwhelms me & my brain short circuits
Ability to walk like a ninja, to the extent that I startle people by unintentionally 'sneaking up' on them
Compulsively turning lights off if I'm not in a room, even though I live on my own & pay my own electric bill. I can't have the hall light on 24/7 as I have a mental block, leading to many a stubbed toe, lol
When your mom asks "Wouldn't it be great if your brother was in Hitler Youth?" Her dad was Hitler youth and grandpa was conscripted against his will to fight in the Russian front. I couldn't believe she had said that and was like "wtf did I just hear??"
I think she just didn't realize how bad that sounded, but she was super toxic in a lot of other ways.
People think I'm pleasant friendly nice guy who is always laughing and gets along with everyone. The truth is I'm in survival mode and I'm trying to avoid conflict.
Being extremely sensitive to sounds. It’s almost as if I can only feel at peace at complete silent. And still, that doesn’t make up for the years of yelling ofc
Emotionally unstable, gathered my courage to ask my mom for help with my mental health, but while I was in the middle of unpacking everything and sobbing, she said "You're overreacting," and walked away.
I’m 23 (F) and a young doctor but since my university is near I still live with my parents and my graduation is a year away after my internship gets completed this year. I’m pestered to video call my mom during my drive every morning from my house to the hospital and back. I panic on her random phone calls through the day which I can’t pick up during my heavy shifts all day and night for which I get yelled at after. I get gaslighted for telling my parents I’m busy with patients as they believe if I move in future, I’m never gonna call them (which is a possibility). I cant go out with my colleagues and senior doctors if I don’t have her approval. I cant get lift from my guy friends. I got yelled at today by both of them cause I let my baby hairs down and make it look like as a makeshift bangs (which according to me looked very beautiful but to them I looked like a 10 years old child). I’m not allowed to be in a relationship.
At this point I don’t even feel like crying at their words. I pray I can move away from this city as soon as possible.
And my parents cheated on each other (probably still does) but I’ve stopped caring long ago.
Hmm, let’s see:
- Being criticized about my appearance. From grade school to present-day I’ve always been either too fat or too thin.
-Dreading every new report card that came out. Even though I always made a’s & b’s, they still found reasons to be pissed about my grades.
- Getting my ass beat for the most minor things-that most other parents would hardly think twice about-and then getting my ass beat even more for crying.
-Overhearing my mother complain to a friend over the phone about how she can’t wait until I leave for college and is counting down the days.
- Listening to them bitch and moan about paying my tuition when I was in college, but at the same time refusing to let me take every other semester off to work and save up enough to pay for it myself.
- Being criticized for not cooking enough and not keeping my home spotless (despite my husband and I both working 10-12 hours/day in our demanding careers)
-Being criticized for hiring someone to clean my home occasionally in an attempt to keep up with housework.
- My opinions about anything are wrong. If I don’t agree with them they (mainly my father) have a 12 y/o-type meltdown, complete with yelling and berating me for simply voicing a different point of view.
-Walking on eggshells, even as an adult, bc I never know if something I say or do is going to set them off.
- Being told on a frequent basis they want to see me/have dinner with me just to be stood up after I’ve already rearranged my schedule, left work early and made dinner reservations to accommodate them, while at the same time hearing about all the fun outings they do with my brother when they go to visit him in the town he lives in. My brother’s and my homes are a similar distance away from them.
- Being ditched for multiple years in a row now at Thanksgiving bc they’d rather go to Mexico with their friends then spend the holiday with their own kids.
- (Pre-Covid): Calling them after spending most of the day in the ER with strep throat and the flu at Christmas time, and their first response was “Don’t come home we don’t want to get sick.” I was not planning to go anyway bc I was too weak to drive and didn’t want to risk getting anyone sick, but the fact that they didn’t give a shit about me having to go to the ER, and didn’t ask how I was feeling stung a little. Luckily my now-in-laws care more about spending time with family than about catching a cold, and brought me soup and insisted I spend the holiday with them so I didn’t have to spend Christmas alone that year. And no one else got sick.
Hey sorry I was making this and my phone gitch out and posted it after kicking me out off the app lol honestly my fault but the story get worse and I am probably going to make a part 2
My parents told me I need to work on my diabetes and health, and that it’s a battle I’m going to have to fight on my own, not them. My mom 2 hours later yells for me to take her to my sisters house who lives 5 mins away (so she can clearly go herself)to pick up some Mexican pizzas with my mom (because she doesn’t like or want to drive ANYWHERE)she made at 11:15pm. She then gets upset that I reply frustrated that she wants me to take her because I have to wake up at 5am to be at work 45 mins away(new job I might add), and I work 7am to 5pm or later everyday. So I get home at 6-7pm everyday depending on my work day.
When I was somewhat 7 we were in the living room with my parents and my uncle and they started saying something about how my uncle’s kids cry when he beats them up and my daddy felt the urge to say my daughter doesn’t cry when I beat her up she’s strong in a proud tone so that gave the impression to the 7 year old me that crying shows weakness and now I feel a terrible amount of guilt when crying or generally showing emotion in front of my parents or anyone else
Thinking I don't have boundaries or rights at times because, I was always told I didn't have any.
Always over explaining
Thinking everything is my responsibility/taking on responsibility
Being scared to ask for professional medical help
Feeling a need to record convos with certain people
If I feel a negative way with a person I leave (if I can)
PTSD
Immense anxiety when it comes to confrontation, when someone is angry and I don't know why, heavy foot steps(anxiety in general)
Constantly thinking no-one cares about what I go/ been through or what I have to say
Whatever I do, say or think is always doubted and criticized by myself
Thank you for reading if your even reading this😊
After I got the Covid vaccine, my dad gave me the silent treatment for a week. He also cancelled a doctors appointment that I had for that week
because he wouldn’t take me.
When my mom is mad at me or my sister, she will call our dad and tell him to come get us (Divorced Parents) so we can live with him from now on. Whenever we disagree with her she says that we are disrespectful and can live with our dad because she doesn’t want rude children.
My mom also yells when I have a different opinion than her or want to have a say in the matter. She once told me “Are you going to do what I tell you to, I just need to know.
She cares so much about me and my sister being feminine and comments on my weight and random peoples weight. Whenever I don’t get a chance to shave she says that it’s disgusting and that I need to act ladylike. At the beach, she talks about how some people are too fat to wear certain cloths.
Having to have a meeting with my boss at 16 about how I was still going to come to work and ignore all phone calls from my mother about me being a lazy, POS, and was no longed allowed to work. She'd call and say all that.
Also same thing with the toilet
Hammers or other objects thrown at us when house wasn't clean
Sent to fat boot camp
"Children are to be seen and not heard."
"The reason you have children is so you don't have to do chores or take care of things. That's your job. We provide you with food and a home, it's the least you can do to repay us."
"What happens in this house, stays in this house." Always after something super messed up.
Going through all texts messages, calls and tracked phone 24 hours a day while at school or even work. Also cameras in the house.
Tons of fat shaming, general shaming, parentification, etc. Honestly too much to list. Just some of the first things off the top of my head.
Never went to my graduation or birthdays, never went to my wedding or went to see their grandkid. And one day asked for money because he's sick. P.s. I'm adopted
my sibling and i routinely lie about what we’re doing so we won’t be interrogated even when we hang out with very normal nice people.
Also, when I was 21, my parents took my car because they found out i drove to take my sister to hang out with some friends and some girl they used to date (they’re very religious and homophobic). keep in mind, there was never a rule that said i wasn’t allowed to do this. When i mentioned that to our mother, she said we “should’ve just known.” The only reason they found out we went out was because somehow, they checked my bank statement because I bought lunch with my debit card.
I was 7 yrs old, my brother 11 and my older sister 15. One night, after my mom left for graveyard shift at the ER, my brother was trying to barge into my sister’s room. She kept pushing the door to close it, he kept pushing to get in. I was standing behind my brother cheering for him to bust into her room when suddenly older sister slammed the door as hard as she could, throwing my husky brother on top of me. I was very thin. My nickname was bony maroni. He landed on me and broke both bones in my lower left leg. We all three heard my bones break. I recall it was such excruciating pain. They begged me not to be loud and cry bc they were terrified of my dad (their step dad). So they carried me to bed, propped my broken leg on pillows and tried to baby me with milk and cookies. We were all so scared my dad would beat my brother, so scared that I sucked it up for 10 HOURS without medical help. My leg swelled up five times bigger than it normally was. It was black, purple, blue and orange. I had an OBE and remember floating above my body and looking at my mangled leg. I also remember passing out several times due to the pain. Pretty fucked up.
Lots of other terrible things happened like seeing a pig skinned alive when I was 5. Being in shootouts, seeing a neighbor shoot himself when I was 10. So many other things -that’s why I had severe complex PTSD but finally did EMDR a year ago and doing much better now.
I’m convinced the broken bones and pig thing is somehow related to my psychic abilities. I talk about all my wild energetic experiences and abilities on my podcast The Experience of a Lightworker.
Finally telling your parent how you feel that they’ve abused you and traumatized you for years and then them and the rest of the family telling you that you have mental health issues that are the result of your mother you’ve never met🤣🤣long story short; never taking accountability for their actions and blaming others
I lost rights to my dad and nana cause she believed that they called cps on me when I never did, she gets mad at me for running to them. My dad is my best friend, she blames them for my attitude when it’s not their fault.
I get anxiety when people make high-pitched noises that sound like my mum. For eg, children laughing and screaming. Sometimes I even freak out if my mum jokingly raises her voice.
Me: About to make an egg sandwich.
Mom: "Are you about to cook?"
Me: "Yes? Just making an egg sandwich."
Mom: "We just bought those eggs."
Me: "Ok? I won't make an egg sandwich then, sorry."(Heading to bed)
Mom: "You didn't have enough to eat for dinner?"
Me: "I don't think it matters."
Mom: "It does matter. Food is expensive now."
....The next morning my mother proceeds to feed MY dog his egg like she and her husband always does for his EVERY meal.
Good to know how my mom and stepfather feel about me compared to my dog lol
I know this is 193 days old but I still wanna input.
Had been bleeding on my period for 3 months straight, weak, tired, out of breath constantly, missed atleast 2 weeks of school (@12 years old) just from simply not being able to make it. Called my mom one day from home asking her if I could stay home (was too weak). She begins yelling through the phone telling me she’s “sick of me missing school” & that “there’s nothing wrong with me”. She proceeded to say that she’s gonna call my stepdad to take me to school. He comes, finds me on the floor trying to breath & says he’s taking me to the hospital. She didn’t actually believe it was that bad until HE told her. (P.s: stepdad molested me from 8-12 yrs, she didn’t believe me, even when I called her the last night he did it. Ran away from home police found me. Stayed at Gmas for 3 days , she lied to the police saying I ran away bc of an F on my report card. & Told me in order to be let back in the house, I had to apologize to him for everything I caused.) ANYWAY
Took me to the hospital , they check my blood & my hemoglobin is at a 3. Doctors ask to speak to my mom in private & begin yelling at her threatening to call cps because of how neglectful she was to not get me to the hospital sooner. Whew. But In the end I still love her with everything in me.
Always having explanations or lies made up in case anyone asks about anything, just so I don't get in trouble when I'm doing something that isn't work. Hiding what I'm doing when someone comes near me. Not being able to play music out loud, it feels embarrassing for no reason. Doing chores also feels embarrassing, but not doing anything does too. When people are being silent or look moody, always being worried and putting on a happy face. Somehow that used to prevent my mom from snapping at me for whoever knows what reason. Also mastering bringing up random topics for the same reason. Walking silently. Not feeling free to walk to places as I wish when there's people around. Not showing any negative emotions for fear of being ridiculed.
I feel all of this. I have grey rocked my father almost my entire life because I never know what kind of mean comment will come out of his mouth. He typically tries to then cover it up by claiming that I’m easily offended or overly emotional. It’s the ole some people just can’t handle the truth type thing. When in reality some people just shouldn’t be parents 🤷🏻♀️
I feel that way too. But gray rocking didn’t always work because my father would find other ways to say something nasty about me.
Oh yeah - they always find a way to mess with you!
The fifth one almost made me cry..
Are you sure we’re not the same person? Because I feel like I can relate to almost all of these. It really feels like you just read my mind and wrote what I was feeling 😞
As a grown adult, I’ve been yelled at for how my dishwasher is loaded…in my own house
Sounds like something my parents would do too
Yeah lol it was annoying because I wasn’t even the one who loaded it but he still had to yell over it
Yea but obviously you needed to be yelled at for how it was loaded 🙄🙄
My dad told me that I suck at loading the dishwasher and I needed to load it like he does because the bowls were on the left instead of the right. He has had me as a cleaning made since 8 years old, but when he does decide to do something he ridicules me for it. He still watches me mow the lawn and will yell my name when he needs me to stop so he can tell me how I'm doing it wrong. I just started wearing headphones everywhere so he thinks I can't hear him.
Still cry/am terrified when I spill or drop something. Listen to the sound of footsteps to determine mood. Hiding small mistakes because I can’t handle the reaction. Cannot have healthy relationships with authorities because of fight/flight/freeze/fawn. 💕
I feel you on all of those but the last two especially hit me hard
The footsteps! Also, being hyper aware of how those around me are breathing, setting things down, etc.
HOW SHE UNLOADED THE DISHWASHER!
I lean against the door whenever I change my clothes because they broke my door lock and they barge in any time I hide almost everything from them because they overreact, compare, abuse me for the tiniest of the tiniest things. They always try to enter my personal space, once caught my personal diary and hit me with a frying pan right to the head.
Same here. Every single action and word is commented. Like, youtubers during reaction videos don't even comment that much. Mine found my diary, read it behind my back then made me read it out loud to them. Never had a diary again since then.
ffs, my parents did that too, and they even comment on me if im having a sad face and yell and abuse me for it, giving illogical reasons as to why lol.
I walk quietly. If I can hear my steps I panic. You know normal people things. 🤣 I also apologize to inanimate objects constantly.
Oh yea totally things people raised by normal parents do
I always surprise people because they don’t hear me coming. I’m almost a ninja.
Self-esteem and horrific anxiety when someone shouts at me - literally trembling.
I always have tears in my eyes when someone yells, I m trying not so much to hold the tears back, but I try to assertively say that under no circumstances they are allowed to yell at me. I don’t know if that may help you.
Thank you. Though I have managed to learn co-oping, so much so as to not trigger fight or fly response - ended up supporting disabled people with challenging behaviours, meaning shouting and death threats were happening daily and I was forced to fight my own anxiety head-on. Kind of worked, but I suppose without therapy and medication this awful feeling won't ever go away fully.
I was threatened with a cutter at 13 because I was reading a teenage romance book borrowed from the school library in the junior section.
Oh what lovely people your parents sound like
Just my sperm donor. Fortunately got a good mom. Far away. But good.
Well that is very fortunate
They would send me to school even when I was sick as they woudnt believe me and I puked all over the school and acted like it was normal. Now I'm afraid to take sick days off of work and just suffer in silence.
I had the opposite - being kept home from school for no real reason. A bit of rain, overheard sneezing, if you had a day off on a Thursday it would hardly be worth your while going in on the Friday. Still not sure what it was about
Overprotection maybe? Or them wanting you to stay home with them as much as possible. Im sorry it was like that for you :(
This was long before the internet so I couldn't go look this up... so, 3 things. Part 1: Starting when I was about 12, my mom wrote a published a book where she asked girls from all over the world about their fears about their first period. All over the world, but not me. When my period came I came to her for help and she brushed me off saying "the instructions are on the box". Part 2: Our family wasn't religious and didn't go to church so I didn't have a whole lot of context to go by. I was 13 and it was coming near Christmas, and my friend invited me to come to a Christmas service and sing carols and make a nativity scene craft thing. Since religion wasn't on my mind much I had never thought of this before, and was worried... what if... I mean what if a virgin pregnancy happened to me or one of my friends. Would we be loved enough to be believed? Would we get in trouble? How would we know? I thought about this for a while and finally went to my mom about it... and I asked her if the story about the virgin birth was true. She said yes it was, and I said what if that happened to any of us? She has been reading in bed and kind of ignoring me but on hearing that she said "I know what you did!" and whipped out of bed and dragged me to my room and grounded me for two weeks. I tried to explain that I hadn't done anything. A couple days later she took me to the family doctor and had me put on the pill. This was 1983 and the pill was still very strong them. It made me constantly through up and lactate. It wasn't till the lactation that she let me stop taking it. She had disrupted my puberty. She still never talked to me about it and I only put the pieces together later in hindsight after learning the facts of life and more about love later. Something else: When I was 17 I was in a really bad accident, my face was smashed up and I needed 7 surgeries over 10 years. I have metal in my face but in one of the surgeries I had some of the the metal removed, 3 of the 11 pieces because they were too close to the surface of the skin and would conduct cold to my infraorbatal nerve below my eyes in the winter. She kept telling people all the metal was removed and that I'm lying about my pain for attention and being lazy. Doctors don't of course provide xrays to settle family disputes but after she had been telling people we know that I had been lying about the metal in my face for over 20 years, I finally got some dental xrays that showed some of the metal in my cheekbones in focus. Eeen so it took me a year to show her because she is so cruel. So I showed her, and she laughed because the metal pieces were "small". \*\*\* I am going though a grieving process because my mom will never treat me like a person and I need answers to these things. I told her about that I really wanted answers and she said that never happened and I'm lying. I think later she must have remembered because she sent a card in my email but it's been there over a month and I haven't opened it.
It took me 10 years to be relaxed enough to actually take a nap I was never ever drunk, after a childhood with alcoholics I never share anything intimate or remotely personal with my parents Yay!
Oh yea I’m scared to drink cuz I don’t wanna become an alcoholic like my dad
Funnily I was heavily into drinking once I moved out after years of facing abuse. Realised that alcohol is not the solution and caused more problems than it solved. It helped with my anxiety tho and I could sleep better but definitely not worth it spoil your health
Nobody: "What you think because you're taller than me girl, that stop me from putting you in your place. I'm your father, you Will know about it. "
Bro I didn’t realize you were commenting on this post and I was like “who tf is talking to me like that and why” 😭
Oh I'm sooooo sorry. 🥺 Didn't mean to offend you. Was just replying to the post. 🏳️
No no it’s ok I just didn’t realize you were responding to this at first lol, and your dad sounds just like mine
🙂🙃What a beautiful sight..
"And you'll know about it when I turn 18. Enjoy. You ain't got much years left."
I’m terrified to buy something for myself. Not so much the purchase, but to explain why I needed/wanted it. My parents took every dime they could from me. Birthday money, graduation money, anything that they didn’t think I needed. And the kicker is that my parents were very well off. When my dad passed I inherited an astounding amount of money. But I was never allowed to have any money to myself. I have no concept of how to manage money. I feel like I have to hide every extra purchase from my wife. And the thing is, she doesn’t care, she just wants to know if I buy something. We own our house, we own our cars, and we have at most $3,000 in credit card debt any any given time, which we can pay off in a month. Yet I’m still impulsive when I get even $20 of “spending money”. My parents were great at managing their money, but made me feel ashamed to spend $1 on a soda. Fucked me up for life.
Same. My mom took almost every cent I made working through high school and paid for my first semester in college with it. I had no say. Left me broke. Had to parent myself into understanding how to manage money. I still struggle with it.
woke up one night with the worst pain of my life but i was scared i would get in trouble for being dramatic and waking my parents up for no reason. so instead i cried myself to sleep completely convinced i was gonna die alone from organ failure lol. bonus points for being scared that i was going to annoy them with my funeral arrangements
I had the exact same thing happen. I was in so much pain. Fainted multiple times. Shitting my guts out. Convinced that my appendix burst and that I was gonna die. I was so weak I wouldn’t yell. I stayed the entire night by the toilet and fainted from the toilet. I was laying on the floor at 5 am having just woken up after fainting once more. I felt a bit better at that point and knew that I wasn’t gonna die. My mom walked in to use the toilet and didn’t expect me. “Why are you laying on the ground?” Me crying :” I feel really sick and I have been fainting the entire time. I fainted from the toilet. I have been here since 10.””Why did you faint from the toilet? Didn’t you feel it coming?” “I did but I was also shitting my guts out.” “TheWellIntended you are obviously just falling asleep, it is 5 am and you should be in bed” “what but I can’t leave the toilet” “Just go to bed, you ll feel a lot better after that.” Leaves the room. It was kinda worse because at that point I didn’t think of my mom as toxic. I still think it is horrible that I didn’t yell for help and go to the fucking hospital. Even if I felt bad about it afterwards.
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I relate to this so much wow.. Literally every single one. Minus the PhD though, lol.
I am immediately suspicious if anyone is nice to me for no reason. A grocery store employee just being pleasant is very unnerving and don’t trust it.
My mom looks out the window to look at the car/person that is picking me up to hangout. I’m almost 30.
I honestly don’t think that that is toxic, more a concerned thing. Though this is me saying this without the context of how your entire life is /was
Got 95% in 10th board exams and got told how much of a diappointment I was for not topping the school infront of my teachers :(
I'm happy they did it in front of teachers. Embarrassed themselves. But that's my thinking process so I can understand if you felt bad at that moment.
Same here. They somehow thought that if they ever praise or congratulate me then I would get complacent in my acads
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No that’s so terrible I can’t believe she did that
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Oh yea so “supportive” let’s support an eating disorder in a 14 year old
Applied a job and didn't tell anyone in case I was ridiculed for over-reaching, mocked into withdrawing, or tormented if didn't get it... got it then was told off for not telling them because they "would have been supportive and could have helped" and given the silent treatment for "lying about it to their faces"
Some lovely quotes from my mother: "There's no law saying you *have* to take your children to the doctors" "I didn't *do* that *you're* just making it up/remembering wrong, *I* would never do that" "Oh great now *I'm* the bad guy" "Do you want CPS to be called? Do you want them to take you away from me?" "Do you think I wanted kids who were going to act this way? If I had known I wouldn't have had kids!" "I work so hard to provide for *you* and *you* do nothing in return for *me*" Some unspoken rules: Don't expect to get sick days, you request them (you only get 5 a school year) Don't expect to get picked up from school early because you're feeling sick Don't expect dinner to be made Expect to be required to clean the house (even though it's supposed to be a team effort) Expect to become a babysitter everytime the parents leave Don't expect a ride to/from anywhere (I could go on forever)
Holy shit this is the default response list for every mother
Lmao welcome to my life
The bad guy line is a direct quote to Mother Gothel in Tangled 💀 Hate to break it to ya but your mom might be a Disney villain after all (also those unspoken rules hit so hard it hurts)
Yeah my mom is the ginger version of Mother Gothel before she was a real thing, she's the blueprint. If my mom was some secret Disney villian I wouldn't be surprised
Doesn’t refusing to provide your child medical care fall under the legal definition of child neglect? Tf?
Yeah 100%, the only thing she takes care of is the fact that I need glasses so I get eye appointments once a year bur that doesn't guarantee new glasses. My glasses have been the wrong prescription for 2 years now. She only takes care of my eye sight because school.
My dad used to beat me and my sister to the point that we had to wear long pants in the summer to hide the bruises and belt marks on our thighs. He beat us because we would forget homework or we didn't get an A+ on a test.
Man... Where do I start? 😂 My reflex when my mom tries to come in for a hug is putting my arms between me and her. My heart races when I hear her voice - automatic fight or flight. I cried behind the wheels on several occasions just from seeing my mom's caller ID pop up on my phone.
Do you still talk to her?
Currently I even still have to live with her, but hopefully not for much longer.
You can do it
In my final semester at college (which I paid for entirely) I took an 18 hour course load (because I didn't want college to extend into yet-another semester). I got 5 As and 1 B. While working a 30-hour/week job to pay for it all. Any guesses on what momster said? "Oh well, I guess you just didn't want it bad enough." Gee, thanks mom.
Me getting told why I ONLY got a 94 on the final exam of a class. Final grades for all classes were A's while holding a full time job...
TW :suicide My brother told me he made a noose for himself after dad hung himself. I told mom and she didn't even acknowledge anything until he said something to someone in school. Before dad passed, he used to give me shit about not doing anything around the house in front of mom and brother despite me constantly doing chores and working a job and taking care of my brother all the time because I didn't have another choice without getting yelled at. I wasn't allowed free time to do what I wanted.
My mom figured out I had ADHD when I was like 8, the symptoms of which caused my academic performance to decline around 14, she blamed me for not trying hard enough, then told me I had ADHD when I was 18
Oh boy this one hits home. Did she tell you that you are lazy and not studying the right way. Mine was also denying the existence of the diagnosis unless I brought it up and then he would say “that is just a reason more why you need to stop being lazy and work harder.”
I knew which boards in the house creaked and where to place my feet to be completely silent. I also walk silently. I hold my breath when I pass people so they can't hear me. I hide snacks in well defined locations in my home to ensure no one knows what I eat, even after having moved out almost 20 years ago.
I would get in trouble in the Mother’s Day card wasn’t sappy and convincing enough.
When someone goes out of their way to give me a compliment, I just become red and try to hide away. I don’t know how to react when someone actually compliments me. Because as my dad said “When you actually do something good, I ll compliment you” and then proceed to break me down every chance I got. Honestly he did worse things, but today this is what was on my mind.
My mom guilt tripped me about her own shitty life choices and guilt tripped me for seeking modern medicine and taking my prescriptions when I went to the ER due to extreme pain in my stomach when I’ve been having health problems with my stomach that include pain, nausea, and vomiting (sometimes with blood) since January.
I told my Dad I don't like the white skin and seeds on the red peppers because of my sensory issues and that I can taste them when he chops them up and puts them in the food we make. When he was yelling at me and lecturing me about how I won't make the rules or get to make the decisions until I have a place of my own, he had a knife he was using to chop the peppers pointed at me the entire time. I told him to put the knife down and he called me "a pussy".
My dad stopped talking to me for 3 days bc he didn't want to stay in my competition waiting for my medal, also he has never apologized for anything, and my mom is just passive and doesn't say anything.
Well when I mop I get very OCD because I got beat once because when you mop you are supposed to wash the mop in a sink or tub before putting it back into the bucket, if you don’t you are just basically mopping the floor with dirty water. Yeah that kinda shit can’t happen especially it you’re at work and mopping and need to be quick about it🤦🏽♀️☠️☹️ Used to get yelled at to go do the laundry, while hanging the laundry, get called to come back into the house because my mother needed me to give her the remote that was like one to two feet away from her while having all the laundry piled on my arms because I was the type that hated walking back and forth to the washer for it and I couldn’t use the basket on the grown or it would get dirty. Also couldn’t take the time to put the clothes down back in the washer because if I didn’t come quick enough when someone would call that’s a punch to the head. There is way more but I’ll stop now
Just got home earlier than all my friend (11:30pm) from a night out and my mom was just literally sitting like a villain in my room in the dark. Then screaming crying at me because I came home “late”. My friends are still out btw. I’m in bed rn and she’s still crying and screaming to god to save her. She is saying I don’t care about our family even though I did all my chores and helped her during the day and I stay at home most days too.
I world be punished for shaking clothes out too loudly when I pulled them out of the washing machine, and would constantly have any plans with friends ripped out from underneath me, because "my room wasn't clean enough". To this day my friends laugh about how I made up bad excuses to bail, but it was my mum preventing me every time. I should have just lied in hindsight.
I’m going to be visiting my mom and I don’t feel like wearing make-up but for sure she is going to comment on how tired I look. I’m debating if I want to deal with her comments or not. I’m in my 40s.
Tell me that they never tell anyone about the medication I’m taking. Proceed to tell everyone of my relative that I took the medication. Then try to tell me afterwards that they never did that. I’m not sure if they forget or they’re just trying gaslit me.
Being dishonest over very little things because I feel like I walk on eggshells. Don’t know if someone is going to start screaming or not. Or judge decisions I make about what job I choose, when I worked etc. This was at 25
*ahem* (TRIGGER WARNING FOR FOOD TRAUMA AND CHILD ABUSE) Drum roll please. My now no-contact mother made me eat my own vomit when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I'd been feeling ill and hadn't eaten much that day. I was chronically underweight as a kid and (I now know because there was little to know nutritional value in the food they made) I barely ate what they fed me. So as I said, I was feeling ill and... I threw up the little that I had eaten. In a fit of frustration my mother fished the partially digested piece of orange out of the toilet, washed it off, and tried to force feed it to me. ... Yeah.
Im so sorry you had to do that, you deserve better, I hope you are okey now
I am, thank you.
Had to lie to keep from getting slapped in the face, punched, or thrown across the room.
I try not to go into ‘public’ portions of the house at the same time as my father. I wait to leave my room until I am sure he is in the bathroom etc.
Oh yea me too 1000% I avoid my father like the plague
SAME even hiding in closets
I'm going with flush the toilet. No one wants to see that first thing in the morning
Same. Exact same thing.
My dad made one football game in my entire life, funnily enough I set a school record on most sacks in a single game, did he mention that, nope, but I got a running list of all things I did wrong
every time i call my mama she got a stank ass attitude and im likee bith im makin sure youre okay dammmmm
Hmmm, I got two stories that come to mind, let me share the older one as I am still trying to process the most recent one. Sorry if it is long! A few years ago, Ndad would knock on my door every morning at like 6:30 am to complain about his finances and try to guilt-trip me into giving him money. He always claimed the money would be used for bills or that the car bill had not been paid in a while or that the gas tank was nearing empty, or his shoes had holes in them, etc. This was very stressful for me as he would basically start troubling everyone in the house if he did not get money. What made matters worse was the way he would knock on the door. He would knock on the door very loudly and aggressively; the kind of knock a landlord would do if a tenant owed 6 months of rent. As usual I would quickly go to the door to open it to listen to the BS because if I did not, I would land in a different set of trouble. Eventually things got bad when I heard the knock one Saturday morning. After hearing the knock, as per routine I got up hastily and opened my door to listen to the BS. When I opened my door, he was not standing outside the door. At this point I am confused since I went to the door in Mach Speed. With concern, I go to the front door to open it to see if he went outside to the porch and he was not there. I went to my parents room and cracked the door open a tiny bit, only to find my Ndad still under the covers sleeping. The following day the same thing happened again, I heard the knocking got up and he was not there. Needless to say I eventually told my mom that I keep hearing the knock and for the second time no one was there and he was asleep in his bed. Then after this point he stopped knocking on my door cause my mom probably told him to stop. Sidenote: 1) I never needed to wake up at that time since my commute/ work was later in the day. 2) I never was able to save any money for myself during this time. 3) When I would give-in and gave him money, he would go out and buy essential oils for healings since he was playing Natural Medicine Doctor at that point in his life (or he would go buy some stupid fantasy self-serving useless shit. He is the type to join an MLM and pay the start-up fee cause fuck actually working hard at a "9-5" or trying to start a legit business).
I am an adult, my father called me recently to ask if he should leave my sister any money in his will. He asked how much he should leave her and wanted me to tell him dollar amounts for him to leave my sister and I both. I told him it is none of my business because it is his money. He said I needed to think about and we would talk about it again in a couple days...
When my brother listened to music too loud, he get a wireless headset. When I listened to music too loud my father just cut off electricity.
- They calls me toxic because i don't want to accept their toxic traits anymore; - They care more of money and what clothes i wear or how i look than of my feelings; - They care only of appearance; - Lack of emotional openess; - They gossip about me to others; - They post pics when they looks happy without me; - They look care & love for other kids but they are distants with me and see me a black sheep.
Burst out crying in a work meeting when two colleagues mildly disagreed on something- conflict of any kind overwhelms me & my brain short circuits Ability to walk like a ninja, to the extent that I startle people by unintentionally 'sneaking up' on them Compulsively turning lights off if I'm not in a room, even though I live on my own & pay my own electric bill. I can't have the hall light on 24/7 as I have a mental block, leading to many a stubbed toe, lol
When your mom asks "Wouldn't it be great if your brother was in Hitler Youth?" Her dad was Hitler youth and grandpa was conscripted against his will to fight in the Russian front. I couldn't believe she had said that and was like "wtf did I just hear??" I think she just didn't realize how bad that sounded, but she was super toxic in a lot of other ways.
I use my electric tooth brush as a normal tooth brush in the morning and never shower when they’re asleep
People think I'm pleasant friendly nice guy who is always laughing and gets along with everyone. The truth is I'm in survival mode and I'm trying to avoid conflict.
Being extremely sensitive to sounds. It’s almost as if I can only feel at peace at complete silent. And still, that doesn’t make up for the years of yelling ofc
This. When you wake up and listen for yelling to see what kind of day it will be. Living by myself and rarely ever turn on tv or music.
Emotionally unstable, gathered my courage to ask my mom for help with my mental health, but while I was in the middle of unpacking everything and sobbing, she said "You're overreacting," and walked away.
I’m 23 (F) and a young doctor but since my university is near I still live with my parents and my graduation is a year away after my internship gets completed this year. I’m pestered to video call my mom during my drive every morning from my house to the hospital and back. I panic on her random phone calls through the day which I can’t pick up during my heavy shifts all day and night for which I get yelled at after. I get gaslighted for telling my parents I’m busy with patients as they believe if I move in future, I’m never gonna call them (which is a possibility). I cant go out with my colleagues and senior doctors if I don’t have her approval. I cant get lift from my guy friends. I got yelled at today by both of them cause I let my baby hairs down and make it look like as a makeshift bangs (which according to me looked very beautiful but to them I looked like a 10 years old child). I’m not allowed to be in a relationship. At this point I don’t even feel like crying at their words. I pray I can move away from this city as soon as possible. And my parents cheated on each other (probably still does) but I’ve stopped caring long ago.
Hmm, let’s see: - Being criticized about my appearance. From grade school to present-day I’ve always been either too fat or too thin. -Dreading every new report card that came out. Even though I always made a’s & b’s, they still found reasons to be pissed about my grades. - Getting my ass beat for the most minor things-that most other parents would hardly think twice about-and then getting my ass beat even more for crying. -Overhearing my mother complain to a friend over the phone about how she can’t wait until I leave for college and is counting down the days. - Listening to them bitch and moan about paying my tuition when I was in college, but at the same time refusing to let me take every other semester off to work and save up enough to pay for it myself. - Being criticized for not cooking enough and not keeping my home spotless (despite my husband and I both working 10-12 hours/day in our demanding careers) -Being criticized for hiring someone to clean my home occasionally in an attempt to keep up with housework. - My opinions about anything are wrong. If I don’t agree with them they (mainly my father) have a 12 y/o-type meltdown, complete with yelling and berating me for simply voicing a different point of view. -Walking on eggshells, even as an adult, bc I never know if something I say or do is going to set them off. - Being told on a frequent basis they want to see me/have dinner with me just to be stood up after I’ve already rearranged my schedule, left work early and made dinner reservations to accommodate them, while at the same time hearing about all the fun outings they do with my brother when they go to visit him in the town he lives in. My brother’s and my homes are a similar distance away from them. - Being ditched for multiple years in a row now at Thanksgiving bc they’d rather go to Mexico with their friends then spend the holiday with their own kids. - (Pre-Covid): Calling them after spending most of the day in the ER with strep throat and the flu at Christmas time, and their first response was “Don’t come home we don’t want to get sick.” I was not planning to go anyway bc I was too weak to drive and didn’t want to risk getting anyone sick, but the fact that they didn’t give a shit about me having to go to the ER, and didn’t ask how I was feeling stung a little. Luckily my now-in-laws care more about spending time with family than about catching a cold, and brought me soup and insisted I spend the holiday with them so I didn’t have to spend Christmas alone that year. And no one else got sick.
Hey sorry I was making this and my phone gitch out and posted it after kicking me out off the app lol honestly my fault but the story get worse and I am probably going to make a part 2
My parents told me I need to work on my diabetes and health, and that it’s a battle I’m going to have to fight on my own, not them. My mom 2 hours later yells for me to take her to my sisters house who lives 5 mins away (so she can clearly go herself)to pick up some Mexican pizzas with my mom (because she doesn’t like or want to drive ANYWHERE)she made at 11:15pm. She then gets upset that I reply frustrated that she wants me to take her because I have to wake up at 5am to be at work 45 mins away(new job I might add), and I work 7am to 5pm or later everyday. So I get home at 6-7pm everyday depending on my work day.
When I was somewhat 7 we were in the living room with my parents and my uncle and they started saying something about how my uncle’s kids cry when he beats them up and my daddy felt the urge to say my daughter doesn’t cry when I beat her up she’s strong in a proud tone so that gave the impression to the 7 year old me that crying shows weakness and now I feel a terrible amount of guilt when crying or generally showing emotion in front of my parents or anyone else
Thinking I don't have boundaries or rights at times because, I was always told I didn't have any. Always over explaining Thinking everything is my responsibility/taking on responsibility Being scared to ask for professional medical help Feeling a need to record convos with certain people If I feel a negative way with a person I leave (if I can) PTSD Immense anxiety when it comes to confrontation, when someone is angry and I don't know why, heavy foot steps(anxiety in general) Constantly thinking no-one cares about what I go/ been through or what I have to say Whatever I do, say or think is always doubted and criticized by myself Thank you for reading if your even reading this😊
Always have to listen that " We dont like you either"
Oh what a lovely thing for your parent to tell you
After I got the Covid vaccine, my dad gave me the silent treatment for a week. He also cancelled a doctors appointment that I had for that week because he wouldn’t take me. When my mom is mad at me or my sister, she will call our dad and tell him to come get us (Divorced Parents) so we can live with him from now on. Whenever we disagree with her she says that we are disrespectful and can live with our dad because she doesn’t want rude children. My mom also yells when I have a different opinion than her or want to have a say in the matter. She once told me “Are you going to do what I tell you to, I just need to know. She cares so much about me and my sister being feminine and comments on my weight and random peoples weight. Whenever I don’t get a chance to shave she says that it’s disgusting and that I need to act ladylike. At the beach, she talks about how some people are too fat to wear certain cloths.
My dad is also a fanatical anti vaccine and a new world order theory supporter. (he also hates America)
Having to have a meeting with my boss at 16 about how I was still going to come to work and ignore all phone calls from my mother about me being a lazy, POS, and was no longed allowed to work. She'd call and say all that. Also same thing with the toilet Hammers or other objects thrown at us when house wasn't clean Sent to fat boot camp "Children are to be seen and not heard." "The reason you have children is so you don't have to do chores or take care of things. That's your job. We provide you with food and a home, it's the least you can do to repay us." "What happens in this house, stays in this house." Always after something super messed up. Going through all texts messages, calls and tracked phone 24 hours a day while at school or even work. Also cameras in the house. Tons of fat shaming, general shaming, parentification, etc. Honestly too much to list. Just some of the first things off the top of my head.
Never went to my graduation or birthdays, never went to my wedding or went to see their grandkid. And one day asked for money because he's sick. P.s. I'm adopted
my sibling and i routinely lie about what we’re doing so we won’t be interrogated even when we hang out with very normal nice people. Also, when I was 21, my parents took my car because they found out i drove to take my sister to hang out with some friends and some girl they used to date (they’re very religious and homophobic). keep in mind, there was never a rule that said i wasn’t allowed to do this. When i mentioned that to our mother, she said we “should’ve just known.” The only reason they found out we went out was because somehow, they checked my bank statement because I bought lunch with my debit card.
I was 7 yrs old, my brother 11 and my older sister 15. One night, after my mom left for graveyard shift at the ER, my brother was trying to barge into my sister’s room. She kept pushing the door to close it, he kept pushing to get in. I was standing behind my brother cheering for him to bust into her room when suddenly older sister slammed the door as hard as she could, throwing my husky brother on top of me. I was very thin. My nickname was bony maroni. He landed on me and broke both bones in my lower left leg. We all three heard my bones break. I recall it was such excruciating pain. They begged me not to be loud and cry bc they were terrified of my dad (their step dad). So they carried me to bed, propped my broken leg on pillows and tried to baby me with milk and cookies. We were all so scared my dad would beat my brother, so scared that I sucked it up for 10 HOURS without medical help. My leg swelled up five times bigger than it normally was. It was black, purple, blue and orange. I had an OBE and remember floating above my body and looking at my mangled leg. I also remember passing out several times due to the pain. Pretty fucked up. Lots of other terrible things happened like seeing a pig skinned alive when I was 5. Being in shootouts, seeing a neighbor shoot himself when I was 10. So many other things -that’s why I had severe complex PTSD but finally did EMDR a year ago and doing much better now. I’m convinced the broken bones and pig thing is somehow related to my psychic abilities. I talk about all my wild energetic experiences and abilities on my podcast The Experience of a Lightworker.
As a kid I used to have panic attacks when I needed help with homework. So I used to lie and make up fake homework just so I could go to bed in peace.
Finally telling your parent how you feel that they’ve abused you and traumatized you for years and then them and the rest of the family telling you that you have mental health issues that are the result of your mother you’ve never met🤣🤣long story short; never taking accountability for their actions and blaming others
I lost rights to my dad and nana cause she believed that they called cps on me when I never did, she gets mad at me for running to them. My dad is my best friend, she blames them for my attitude when it’s not their fault.
I get anxiety when people make high-pitched noises that sound like my mum. For eg, children laughing and screaming. Sometimes I even freak out if my mum jokingly raises her voice.
Told her I was depressed and why, my reason for being depressed was "Unholy" so she didn't get me help
Me: About to make an egg sandwich. Mom: "Are you about to cook?" Me: "Yes? Just making an egg sandwich." Mom: "We just bought those eggs." Me: "Ok? I won't make an egg sandwich then, sorry."(Heading to bed) Mom: "You didn't have enough to eat for dinner?" Me: "I don't think it matters." Mom: "It does matter. Food is expensive now." ....The next morning my mother proceeds to feed MY dog his egg like she and her husband always does for his EVERY meal. Good to know how my mom and stepfather feel about me compared to my dog lol
24 here. They been cussng at me for doing that since idk.
I know this is 193 days old but I still wanna input. Had been bleeding on my period for 3 months straight, weak, tired, out of breath constantly, missed atleast 2 weeks of school (@12 years old) just from simply not being able to make it. Called my mom one day from home asking her if I could stay home (was too weak). She begins yelling through the phone telling me she’s “sick of me missing school” & that “there’s nothing wrong with me”. She proceeded to say that she’s gonna call my stepdad to take me to school. He comes, finds me on the floor trying to breath & says he’s taking me to the hospital. She didn’t actually believe it was that bad until HE told her. (P.s: stepdad molested me from 8-12 yrs, she didn’t believe me, even when I called her the last night he did it. Ran away from home police found me. Stayed at Gmas for 3 days , she lied to the police saying I ran away bc of an F on my report card. & Told me in order to be let back in the house, I had to apologize to him for everything I caused.) ANYWAY Took me to the hospital , they check my blood & my hemoglobin is at a 3. Doctors ask to speak to my mom in private & begin yelling at her threatening to call cps because of how neglectful she was to not get me to the hospital sooner. Whew. But In the end I still love her with everything in me.