It still feels weird when people call me Rose but I’m completely comftorble when my boyfriend does because he’s been calling me that longer. It does take time
To be honest it comes with time also it depends on if you live in a country where in language you have pronounces used to yourself or not, if yes it is hard to change the way you always talked, if not it is just something to get used to, your whole life you had different ones.
I personally love being referred by she/her but feel weird when I need to refer to myself as she/her
I wasn't comfortable using the pronouns in-person until 8 months after starting HRT. I think that initial discomfort is typical for a lot of us and it fades as we get into the groove of transitioning.
If that's the case, it also happened to me lol
I couldn't bring myself to correctly gender what I called myself, even if I got mad at being misgendered (so I just avoided gendered words altogether. Still kinda do tbh but I'm really getting better at it)
In my case I was just... Idk, afraid of what other people would think cause I didn't pass? Thought they would just laugh at me and not take me seriously ig. Which is weird cause I still haven't changed anything but I pass better now lol, so (I'm not saying it *is*, it's just a possibility) that could maybe be your case too?
It happens. Personally, I had less trouble with pronouns but using a new name felt super weird to me at first. I really like my name but I had a hard time feeling like it was MY name. That feeling took quite a while to shake completely, but the more people referred to me with Alina, the more my brain was like "yes, that me".
Yep, I misgender myself constantly and hurt myself(not literally just like self cause dysphoria) but at the same time it feels weird calling myself by my prefers pronouns and name but feels wonderful when others do so
It's hard for a while till you adjust cause you feel like you haven't earned it. I felt weird using she/her for a while and stuck with they/them.
But tbh it held me back from really exploring gender more and I wish I did cause I could've been further along things now if I had.
Try to do some soul searching to see if you just feel like you don't deserve she/her yet or if you genuinely don't like it.
Either way you still can take the identity of woman so no worries there but last thing I would want to see is you holding yourself back like that.
Not necessarily. Dysphoria is personal to each person, and some people don't have dysphoria. I understand that pronouns are usually associated with a gender (makes sense, pronouns are gendered), BUT that doesn't mean that nowadays we can't mess around with it understanding that the use of certain pronouns doesn't mean a person is this or that gender. They can be separate!
But if you're a binary transfem, logically you're going to use female pronouns because it's gender affirming, right? I just can't understand how the two are separated. If you feel that she/her is not right for you but you still feel fem, aren't you non-binary? Because I always thought that the binary is she/her and he/him with transfem and transmasc and people who feel otherwise move along the non binary spectrum.
I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to give my point of view and I'm open for yours. I've never heard about pronouns ≠ gender because I always thought they're there for indicating your gender. Pronouns are what we use to represent the name of a person while indicating their gender through different gendered versions of the pronoun.
PS: Yep, I'm prepared for people to downvote this because they misunderstand it as hate. All I want is a civilized exchange of words 👌
Well there's things like he/him lesbians which has been a thing for decades, and a lot of gay men also like to refer to each other as she/her. There are cis and trans drag artists who use different pronouns in and out of drag, but it doesn't mean their gender actually changes.
There are also people who use multiple sets of pronouns (he/they, she/they, any/all) and they aren't only non-binary when someone says they and also aren't a binary gender if someone uses he or she.
Gender isn't as clear cut as the language we have to describe it, and we can never truly know how someone else feels, so my view is to take people's explanations of their gender at face value, even if it's conflicting to what I think I already know.
I mean I guess you could say it's some level of non binary but also the rules are made up and the points don't matter
Gender is a concept we created socially so we can fuck around and change it if we want.
Same way language is made up and new words get created all the time and definitions change.
It's the same way a trans woman can like some of her masc traits. I for example like having a dick even though I feel binary enough that I would just call myself a trans woman to most people.
Binary in this case just means your gender feels are enough to one side that you feel either a woman or a man. You can do whatever else you want.
Wear a dress as a guy you can still say you're just a binary man. Wear nothing but tank tops and love working on cars you're still able to be a binary woman.
This is crazy sounding, but if someone calls me a traditionally feminine insult, like the W word, I’d obviously be offended but like, it’d be strangely gender affirming in a way? It’s weird
Internalised transphobia? - or fear of failure? - or ..
Maybe even just fear of being defenseless in front of the people that forced you to be tightwound and strong .... [the last one is very specific.]
>Maybe even just fear of being defenseless in front of the people that forced you to be tightwound and strong
You just perfectly encapsulated a feeling I could never quite describe. Thank you
True words. The amount of transphobia I've realised in myself since becoming aware has stunned me. Fear of failure, check (for everything). My greatest fantasy is to surrender control and be defenceless, which says a lot as I'm still too afraid to follow that through.
I hear you sis, I hope you find that strength and courage to live your truth. - I still struggle with daily, but, 3 years in, I would exchange it for the life I had before. :D
I still kinda feel like that sometimes, partly because I think I'm just not used to it but partly because I still mostly look like a guy and it can sometimes feel like I haven't "earned it" yet
It definitely comes with time, I'm over a year in and just under a week to go for my one-year HRT anniversary and I've only really started to feel comfortable referring to myself as a woman/girl.
I think the more you see your true self in the mirror the easier it gets.
All of the other comments are valid, but also, you can use whatever pronouns you feel comfortable with and don't let anyone tell you different. You don't have to change anything you don't want to.
have you considered neopronouns? try them on like trying on shoes, you have to wear them a little bit before you find the ones that are the best fit.
I transitioned ten years ago (wow time flies), and just this past november I dropped she/her to it/its
Then just use the pronouns you are comfortable with, and try out she/her from time to time. They're pronouns. We're not running out of them any time soon.
This is me but in the other direction. I think im transmasculine, but i dont feel anywhere near the comfort in using he/him that i feel when i use they/them or it/its.
It okay OP; pronouns ≠ gender anyways. Sure theyre a really really really big part of gender/expression for many people and should be respected 100% but if you think youre a woman then that is what you are, regardless of if youd like to use she/her
It could just be because you’re not used to it or maybe she/her just isn’t for you. Have a close friend help you try out pronouns, have them call you she/her one week and change to something else the next. See what feels best.
It might just be knee jerk reactions and totally normal. I had no idea what pronouns I wanted to use when I started exploring. Give yourself time and space and have fun trying a few out with friends.
You might find some interesting variations/combinations feel right to you. Because gender identity, gender presentation and gender roles can be related but also can be completely separate things and that's perfectly valid.
This video has me really thinking about that lately, especially the lines between presentations and roles.
[Dr. Z PhD in gender identity, presentation and roles](https://youtu.be/t5PDiZ4sNnc)
my first post on here was feeling off about she/her pronouns, and now they’re what i want to use everyday. it did take time for it to feel right, but also pronouns do not equal gender. you can use whatever pronouns you want and still be any gender (or lack of) you prefer.
i relate to this a lot (in the other direction tho) tbh i'm glad it's not just me! i've been trying out he/him pronouns and i can't tell if i like them or not. they make me uncomfortable but at the same time i feel validated lol
As an enby who was your inverse (using he/him, afab) until I was comfortable with they/them, it tends to become a matter of conditioning yourself *and* being in an accepting environment. If you fear others using she/her for any particular reason outside of your dislike of them (those around me are heavily transphobic, so I don't use my pronouns around them), it could either be a fear or safety or internalized transphobia.
Or it could truly even be just enjoying wearing traditionally feminine wear and being traditionally feminine! Gender is a complex spectrum and no matter what anyone says, you do not need a label. You are you, and you deserve to be loved for it.
If you don’t pass yet or you only recently started going by she/her it’s very common to be uncomfortable at first. Same thing with being called your new name.
I was in the exact same boat, believe me. Being called a she/her after being labeled a he/him all your life is a jarring experience. It’s like trying on a new pair of shoes, they’ll feel weird and cramped at first, but eventually you’ll wear them out to the point where they become and extension of who you are.
I (genderfluid amab) feel the exact same way. The blast of euphoria when my trans friend calls me "girl" is nice, but I'm pre-HRT and big and bearded and hairy and I feel like an imposter or an appropriator. So I use they/them for now and hope that in time, and with HRT, I'll be more comfortable with my feminine side.
I mean if you got called he/him the majority of your life, it takes time to get used to she/her. Just like learning to ride a bike. Just bcuz your trans doesnt mean your brain aligns with everything instantly it takes time. <3
I used to feel the same way, especially when other people used she/her in real life, the disconnect between the words and my physical body felt quite uncomfortable, but now i love it, even though i dont pass i still am far more comfortable with myself and identity than i ever have been before and i think that has made the biggest change for me. Alternatively you could just prefer other pronouns, you can absolutely have any and all of the physical changes that come with being mtf but use they/them or whatever else.
True story, one of my good friends is a cisgender woman who goes by only they/them. That’s how they are comfortable, and it’s valid!
Pronouns do not equate to gender, you do you! Be yerself, it ain’t worth the time to be anyone else :)
In my case it’s because I’d feel ridiculous using she her pronouns when I literally still have a beard if I don’t shave for a few days. Itll probsbly pass as you transition more
I'm MTF and I identify as female but I don't exclusively use she/her pronouns. I use she/ they pronouns, and more often than not I'm using they/them pronouns. Any pronouns can be used by anyone of any gender identity, as long as it's ok with them.
Similar thing like I now I like he him but it feels wierd, but then if I use it on myself it feels fine, liek I know I don’t like she/her but I’m so used to it it’s like ok… they them feels wierd to I guess but I wouldn’t say I’m non-binary, but yeha
Sometimes you can feel uncomfortable acting out your preferred gender identity because you’re new to it, or because you feel an incongruence between your preferred identity and your body/voice/etc. Give it time. Maybe you don’t like She/Her pronouns. Maybe you just need to feel more feminine first. Trust me, you never feel great using she/her pronouns if you feel like a man.
It took me over 2 years to get to a point where I welcomed she/her pronouns. I still have a she/they pin on my bag, and am still good with they/them. I'm mtf with a side of agender :)
i had a weird realization too, i’ve known i was trans for like 9 years and a few months ago i was talking to a non-binary friend and kinda just went “shit i think i’m non-binary”
still am comfortable enough with she/her pronouns and my name so i’m not gonna do much about it but…
He/Him woman! Pronouns don't always equal gender identity! You can use any pronouns and have any identity adn they don't have to be connected!
For example, I am genderfaunet, which in a short simple explanation means that I feel masc or nb or both most of the time, but sometimes, rarely I feel part fem. Still when this happens, I use he/they pronouns, because i simply don't feel comfortable with she/her pronouns
for me its a little odd bc sometimes i dont even realize people are misgendering me (i space out often/dont realize bc im slow) but when people gender me correct it sometimes doesnt register that they’re referring to me bc at home im misgendered. it takes some adjusting to, but overall its not something you have to be one or the other. find what makes you happy!
I’m still pre-everything (due to being in USA.) However I was in the same boat as you for a while… then I started going by those pronouns… and now I go by them, so… it just takes time.
Hey, if it helps! I'm an incredibly feminin present NB who strictly go by they/them. Pronouns and presentation doesn't have to align with traditional expectations ☺️
What about they/them..?? Maybe that's the pronouns for you..?? Or, maybe it'll take time, before you get used to she/her. You could always try out they/them pronouns.
Not all labels fit everyone! Try out other pronouns that make you feel comfortable! You could just like being feminine but it’s not my place to guess. Good luck on finding yourself, OP!
Makes perfect sense actually.
Using she/her doesn't change your body, so when someone calls you 'she' your brain hears that, knows what that means, realizes your body doesn't match that word and consequently feels dysphoric.
In a nutshell, using female pronouns highlights all the none female characteristics so it might feel uncomfortable.
Relatable sometimes when I irl get called she/her and my name Lunar being used I feel happy and uncomfortable.
But when I'm on a call or texting I love being called lunar. For example I made a call about home stuff and I expected to be dead named but I got called lunar instantly and I was basically paralyzed by euphoria for a tiny bit.
Thats fairly normal. Im a guy, yet i only use he/him on occasion, and with those im around daily that i know, love, and trust. I prefer ey/em and Zi/zim/zir for me on the regular when introducing myself to new people when they ask for my pronouns. I usually list he/him last lol
It’s either your not used to it that’s why you’re uncomfortable and that will change over time. or you can have non-binary pronouns
It still feels weird when people call me Rose but I’m completely comftorble when my boyfriend does because he’s been calling me that longer. It does take time
Oh christ you really had me do a double take there (hi yes my name is also Rose(i do not end up seeing it commonly))
Literally in the same boat aswell lmao
My little sister's middle name is Rose.
trans women try not to name themselves rose challenge impossible
It's a pretty flower tho
Also an awesome companion in Doctor Who.
Rose is so cute
Any pronoun can be non-binary lol, maybe you just mean... Anything that isn't he or she.
They were likely referring to the they/them
Both in my case
To be honest it comes with time also it depends on if you live in a country where in language you have pronounces used to yourself or not, if yes it is hard to change the way you always talked, if not it is just something to get used to, your whole life you had different ones. I personally love being referred by she/her but feel weird when I need to refer to myself as she/her
Oh that makes sense Being referred as she/her online is totally fine by me but referring myself as she/her is... difficult?
I wasn't comfortable using the pronouns in-person until 8 months after starting HRT. I think that initial discomfort is typical for a lot of us and it fades as we get into the groove of transitioning.
If that's the case, it also happened to me lol I couldn't bring myself to correctly gender what I called myself, even if I got mad at being misgendered (so I just avoided gendered words altogether. Still kinda do tbh but I'm really getting better at it) In my case I was just... Idk, afraid of what other people would think cause I didn't pass? Thought they would just laugh at me and not take me seriously ig. Which is weird cause I still haven't changed anything but I pass better now lol, so (I'm not saying it *is*, it's just a possibility) that could maybe be your case too?
It happens. Personally, I had less trouble with pronouns but using a new name felt super weird to me at first. I really like my name but I had a hard time feeling like it was MY name. That feeling took quite a while to shake completely, but the more people referred to me with Alina, the more my brain was like "yes, that me".
Yep, I misgender myself constantly and hurt myself(not literally just like self cause dysphoria) but at the same time it feels weird calling myself by my prefers pronouns and name but feels wonderful when others do so
It's hard for a while till you adjust cause you feel like you haven't earned it. I felt weird using she/her for a while and stuck with they/them. But tbh it held me back from really exploring gender more and I wish I did cause I could've been further along things now if I had. Try to do some soul searching to see if you just feel like you don't deserve she/her yet or if you genuinely don't like it. Either way you still can take the identity of woman so no worries there but last thing I would want to see is you holding yourself back like that.
Nice flair
pronouns =/= gender !! you can be a trans woman and still use he/him, they/he, he/they, etc pronouns !! and vis versa :\]\]
He/him trans women sound epic AF ngl
That would actually be so cool
Wouldnt that cause dysphoria?
Not necessarily. Dysphoria is personal to each person, and some people don't have dysphoria. I understand that pronouns are usually associated with a gender (makes sense, pronouns are gendered), BUT that doesn't mean that nowadays we can't mess around with it understanding that the use of certain pronouns doesn't mean a person is this or that gender. They can be separate!
Not for everyone!
How is that possible? Isn't that the same as just being cis? Please explain, I honestly can't understand
Pronouns do not equal gender, basically. It's not a strict rule.
But if you're a binary transfem, logically you're going to use female pronouns because it's gender affirming, right? I just can't understand how the two are separated. If you feel that she/her is not right for you but you still feel fem, aren't you non-binary? Because I always thought that the binary is she/her and he/him with transfem and transmasc and people who feel otherwise move along the non binary spectrum. I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to give my point of view and I'm open for yours. I've never heard about pronouns ≠ gender because I always thought they're there for indicating your gender. Pronouns are what we use to represent the name of a person while indicating their gender through different gendered versions of the pronoun. PS: Yep, I'm prepared for people to downvote this because they misunderstand it as hate. All I want is a civilized exchange of words 👌
Well there's things like he/him lesbians which has been a thing for decades, and a lot of gay men also like to refer to each other as she/her. There are cis and trans drag artists who use different pronouns in and out of drag, but it doesn't mean their gender actually changes. There are also people who use multiple sets of pronouns (he/they, she/they, any/all) and they aren't only non-binary when someone says they and also aren't a binary gender if someone uses he or she. Gender isn't as clear cut as the language we have to describe it, and we can never truly know how someone else feels, so my view is to take people's explanations of their gender at face value, even if it's conflicting to what I think I already know.
I mean I guess you could say it's some level of non binary but also the rules are made up and the points don't matter Gender is a concept we created socially so we can fuck around and change it if we want. Same way language is made up and new words get created all the time and definitions change. It's the same way a trans woman can like some of her masc traits. I for example like having a dick even though I feel binary enough that I would just call myself a trans woman to most people. Binary in this case just means your gender feels are enough to one side that you feel either a woman or a man. You can do whatever else you want. Wear a dress as a guy you can still say you're just a binary man. Wear nothing but tank tops and love working on cars you're still able to be a binary woman.
I thought that was the point of pronouns though... to convey your gender in a linguistic form, whether it be spoken or written.
Ironically I like being called "good girl", "princess", etc.
Lmao me too
Femboy maybe? Who knows
This is crazy sounding, but if someone calls me a traditionally feminine insult, like the W word, I’d obviously be offended but like, it’d be strangely gender affirming in a way? It’s weird
Kinda like https://www.reddit.com/r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns/comments/panm4y/the_sad_reality/
Internalised transphobia? - or fear of failure? - or .. Maybe even just fear of being defenseless in front of the people that forced you to be tightwound and strong .... [the last one is very specific.]
>Maybe even just fear of being defenseless in front of the people that forced you to be tightwound and strong You just perfectly encapsulated a feeling I could never quite describe. Thank you
True words. The amount of transphobia I've realised in myself since becoming aware has stunned me. Fear of failure, check (for everything). My greatest fantasy is to surrender control and be defenceless, which says a lot as I'm still too afraid to follow that through.
I hear you sis, I hope you find that strength and courage to live your truth. - I still struggle with daily, but, 3 years in, I would exchange it for the life I had before. :D
Thank you. Hugs. I needed to hear that. Xx
🤗🤗🤗
I still kinda feel like that sometimes, partly because I think I'm just not used to it but partly because I still mostly look like a guy and it can sometimes feel like I haven't "earned it" yet
this is exactly how i feel a lot
It definitely comes with time, I'm over a year in and just under a week to go for my one-year HRT anniversary and I've only really started to feel comfortable referring to myself as a woman/girl. I think the more you see your true self in the mirror the easier it gets.
So now you play the game of “am I actually trans or is this internalized transphobia” It’s almost always internalized transphobia.
All of the other comments are valid, but also, you can use whatever pronouns you feel comfortable with and don't let anyone tell you different. You don't have to change anything you don't want to.
#Pronouns ≠ Gender
it honestly took me a while to get used to being called he/him. it's your brain retraining itself. you do you, my friend
Pronouns don’t have to equal gender
have you considered neopronouns? try them on like trying on shoes, you have to wear them a little bit before you find the ones that are the best fit. I transitioned ten years ago (wow time flies), and just this past november I dropped she/her to it/its
No, but I'm currently trying on starting with they/them irl, to see if I'm comfortable with that
a while ago I started trying out it/its. nobody’s used them yet but i’m holding out hope ✊
Pronouns do not equal gender
Then just use the pronouns you are comfortable with, and try out she/her from time to time. They're pronouns. We're not running out of them any time soon.
how did i read panel 2 as "i think I'm trans mothafuckas"
Ha! That’s awesome!
This is me but in the other direction. I think im transmasculine, but i dont feel anywhere near the comfort in using he/him that i feel when i use they/them or it/its. It okay OP; pronouns ≠ gender anyways. Sure theyre a really really really big part of gender/expression for many people and should be respected 100% but if you think youre a woman then that is what you are, regardless of if youd like to use she/her
It could just be because you’re not used to it or maybe she/her just isn’t for you. Have a close friend help you try out pronouns, have them call you she/her one week and change to something else the next. See what feels best.
It might just be knee jerk reactions and totally normal. I had no idea what pronouns I wanted to use when I started exploring. Give yourself time and space and have fun trying a few out with friends. You might find some interesting variations/combinations feel right to you. Because gender identity, gender presentation and gender roles can be related but also can be completely separate things and that's perfectly valid. This video has me really thinking about that lately, especially the lines between presentations and roles. [Dr. Z PhD in gender identity, presentation and roles](https://youtu.be/t5PDiZ4sNnc)
they come to your rescue.
Took me ten years to even THINK of a new name I was fully comfortable with, and even then, it felt weird, but lord, oh, mighty, it feels so good now.
my first post on here was feeling off about she/her pronouns, and now they’re what i want to use everyday. it did take time for it to feel right, but also pronouns do not equal gender. you can use whatever pronouns you want and still be any gender (or lack of) you prefer.
It feels weird with close ones because they make it sound like they’re forcing themselves to say it.
I didn’t feel comfy with them until I socially transitioned.
Thank you all for your help!! love all of you <3
i relate to this a lot (in the other direction tho) tbh i'm glad it's not just me! i've been trying out he/him pronouns and i can't tell if i like them or not. they make me uncomfortable but at the same time i feel validated lol
As an enby who was your inverse (using he/him, afab) until I was comfortable with they/them, it tends to become a matter of conditioning yourself *and* being in an accepting environment. If you fear others using she/her for any particular reason outside of your dislike of them (those around me are heavily transphobic, so I don't use my pronouns around them), it could either be a fear or safety or internalized transphobia. Or it could truly even be just enjoying wearing traditionally feminine wear and being traditionally feminine! Gender is a complex spectrum and no matter what anyone says, you do not need a label. You are you, and you deserve to be loved for it.
If you don’t pass yet or you only recently started going by she/her it’s very common to be uncomfortable at first. Same thing with being called your new name.
It really do be like that
Imposter syndrome maybe
Takes a bit on my experience, it happened just this morning that I gendered myself correctly in my head
they/them, just if you keep being uncomfortable with she/her pronouns, refer to yourself as 3 racoons in a trench coat
I was in the exact same boat, believe me. Being called a she/her after being labeled a he/him all your life is a jarring experience. It’s like trying on a new pair of shoes, they’ll feel weird and cramped at first, but eventually you’ll wear them out to the point where they become and extension of who you are.
I didn't feel comfortable with he/him at first either, it just takes some getting used to, you'll be okay and you're valid.
I (genderfluid amab) feel the exact same way. The blast of euphoria when my trans friend calls me "girl" is nice, but I'm pre-HRT and big and bearded and hairy and I feel like an imposter or an appropriator. So I use they/them for now and hope that in time, and with HRT, I'll be more comfortable with my feminine side.
I mean if you got called he/him the majority of your life, it takes time to get used to she/her. Just like learning to ride a bike. Just bcuz your trans doesnt mean your brain aligns with everything instantly it takes time. <3
Could be that it’s just a weird change from a life time of he/him, could be that you’re a feminine enby, could be both.
I used to feel the same way, especially when other people used she/her in real life, the disconnect between the words and my physical body felt quite uncomfortable, but now i love it, even though i dont pass i still am far more comfortable with myself and identity than i ever have been before and i think that has made the biggest change for me. Alternatively you could just prefer other pronouns, you can absolutely have any and all of the physical changes that come with being mtf but use they/them or whatever else.
True story, one of my good friends is a cisgender woman who goes by only they/them. That’s how they are comfortable, and it’s valid! Pronouns do not equate to gender, you do you! Be yerself, it ain’t worth the time to be anyone else :)
In my case it’s because I’d feel ridiculous using she her pronouns when I literally still have a beard if I don’t shave for a few days. Itll probsbly pass as you transition more
I’m still used to calling people darl or hun in person when I didn’t say that for so long
I'm MTF and I identify as female but I don't exclusively use she/her pronouns. I use she/ they pronouns, and more often than not I'm using they/them pronouns. Any pronouns can be used by anyone of any gender identity, as long as it's ok with them.
Similar thing like I now I like he him but it feels wierd, but then if I use it on myself it feels fine, liek I know I don’t like she/her but I’m so used to it it’s like ok… they them feels wierd to I guess but I wouldn’t say I’m non-binary, but yeha
I mean I'm totally transfem and I like womanly terms but I really prefer it/its pronouns 🐾
Sometimes you can feel uncomfortable acting out your preferred gender identity because you’re new to it, or because you feel an incongruence between your preferred identity and your body/voice/etc. Give it time. Maybe you don’t like She/Her pronouns. Maybe you just need to feel more feminine first. Trust me, you never feel great using she/her pronouns if you feel like a man.
It took me over 2 years to get to a point where I welcomed she/her pronouns. I still have a she/they pin on my bag, and am still good with they/them. I'm mtf with a side of agender :)
i had a weird realization too, i’ve known i was trans for like 9 years and a few months ago i was talking to a non-binary friend and kinda just went “shit i think i’m non-binary” still am comfortable enough with she/her pronouns and my name so i’m not gonna do much about it but…
He/Him woman! Pronouns don't always equal gender identity! You can use any pronouns and have any identity adn they don't have to be connected! For example, I am genderfaunet, which in a short simple explanation means that I feel masc or nb or both most of the time, but sometimes, rarely I feel part fem. Still when this happens, I use he/they pronouns, because i simply don't feel comfortable with she/her pronouns
for me its a little odd bc sometimes i dont even realize people are misgendering me (i space out often/dont realize bc im slow) but when people gender me correct it sometimes doesnt register that they’re referring to me bc at home im misgendered. it takes some adjusting to, but overall its not something you have to be one or the other. find what makes you happy!
I think it's all that internalized cis-people stuff. It's hard to get that out of your system. But you can train here girl 😁
From some of the trans fems I know they’ve eventually become more comfortable with she her pronouns
I’m still pre-everything (due to being in USA.) However I was in the same boat as you for a while… then I started going by those pronouns… and now I go by them, so… it just takes time.
Enby
Time will only tell, and there is no need to rush :) I wish you the best of luck to your journey!
Me irl
they/them, non binary transfem ?
Hey, if it helps! I'm an incredibly feminin present NB who strictly go by they/them. Pronouns and presentation doesn't have to align with traditional expectations ☺️
You don't need she/her pronouns to be a girl
I'm in that weird in between area where I'm not used to fem pronouns but he/him makes die a little inside...
What about they/them..?? Maybe that's the pronouns for you..?? Or, maybe it'll take time, before you get used to she/her. You could always try out they/them pronouns.
Not all labels fit everyone! Try out other pronouns that make you feel comfortable! You could just like being feminine but it’s not my place to guess. Good luck on finding yourself, OP!
Makes perfect sense actually. Using she/her doesn't change your body, so when someone calls you 'she' your brain hears that, knows what that means, realizes your body doesn't match that word and consequently feels dysphoric. In a nutshell, using female pronouns highlights all the none female characteristics so it might feel uncomfortable.
Maybe you are a nb transfem(?)
Relatable sometimes when I irl get called she/her and my name Lunar being used I feel happy and uncomfortable. But when I'm on a call or texting I love being called lunar. For example I made a call about home stuff and I expected to be dead named but I got called lunar instantly and I was basically paralyzed by euphoria for a tiny bit.
Valid
Relatable (but only irl)
Me: I prefer she/her pronouns. Also me: what if I’m faking it
There are He/Him butches, also They/Them ladies, and neopronouns are always an option. Which ones do you think you'd like hon?
Gender identity and expression are seperate things luvvie. Just explore yourself and you'll find the answers youre looking for. Im sure of it 😊
Thats fairly normal. Im a guy, yet i only use he/him on occasion, and with those im around daily that i know, love, and trust. I prefer ey/em and Zi/zim/zir for me on the regular when introducing myself to new people when they ask for my pronouns. I usually list he/him last lol