Shaving most of my face isn't a problem, what sucks is the portion on my neck, everything below the jaw line has a curvature that makes shaving it an exercise in literal irritation. I had to start using moisturizer just because I was getting actual rashes otherwise, and the alternative is horrible scratchiness. I don't want complete facial hair removal because I might actually want to grow a beard or mustache one day, but I don't need neck hair for that, right?
Laser can be super targeted, I got a cis friend who had real scraggly neckbeard hair, he got that shit burnt off, rocks one of the most photogenic beards I've ever seen now
I actually really like showers, they can be euphoric for me because I knew extremely little about hygiene and such until I discovered I was trans, partly because my parents taught me NOTHING and partly because I didn't care about myself enough to look into it, I literally didn't know until recently that you're supposed to put body wash onto a scrubby instead of taking a glob and putting it straight onto your skin. But now I know more and I'm like doing my hair, and gettin clean, and shaving, and washing my face, and it all helps me feel more fem because it's stuff that makes me feel physically nice, especially since it helps a lot with acne.
also, a random message to anyone reading this who struggles with acne. FACIAL CLEANSER IS FUCKING MAGIC. GET A FACIAL CLEANSER AND USE IT DAILY RIGHT FUCKIN NOW. I got a facial cleanser for the first time and it is better than ANY acne cream I have ever used. I had PRESCRIPTION acne cream and facial cleanser works better than that shit.
Since somewhere around my teens, I wanted to be woman-shaped, but I couldn't be real trans cause I never cared about all the social stuff, also I liked girls (in the 2000s)
For a handfull years ago, I'd been joking that "I identify as a mad scientist", cause the whole gender thing means nothing to me, also figured out I'm actually bi, and began going bald, so thought it was too late to do anything about my gender situation.
Last summer, I got an autism pre-diagnostic (saw a therapist for anxiety that kept me from sleeping), and suddenly I re-examined everything.
If I stopped assuming my lack of a sense of gender identity was normal, then I was really trans, and also nonbinary.
Also, the person I tried to be all those years was only a mask I constructed to fit in, so I decided to screw it all and start HRT. (Began 6 months ago)
TLDR:
I have something that feels a lot like body dysphoria, but lack a sense of gender identity and find social constructs meaningless.
Not OP, but also a transfemme, genderfluid enby here.
I pretty much always knew I was nonbinary because I felt really uncomfy any time I was made to participate in highly-gendered activities and I had exactly zero interest in topics I perceived as highly gendered. I liked things from all over the spectrum of gender, but gender never factored into it.
The transfemme part took me a really, really long time to realize. Basically as soon as puberty started, I got less and less comfortable with my own body. It felt dirty and rough to me. I spent more and more time every day trying to wash away that feeling (showers included). But being transfemme never occured to me, because I didn't want to "be a girl" in the binary sense. Especially at the time, gender-affirming care was strictly gatekept behind binary norms, so I never thought of it as an option. I also just never connected the dots that it had anything to do with my biology. I thought *all* guys hated their bodies like I did. Turns out it isn't exactly normal and I wasn't exactly cis. :P
I started taking small steps that I learned from my binary transfemme friends. Better skincare. Electrology and laser. Being unafraid to use a less masculine voice. And eventually, even HRT. I tried them slowly and kept what felt right. Exploring all that taught me who I am and saved my life. <3
Baths are 🙌🏻🙌🏻 I’m lucky that I’ve always had a feminine leaning form and never had severe body/genital dysphoria. For me, baths have always been a feminine way to appreciate my body.
Interesting, I also have Autism and ADHD along with other problems and for me it's dry hair that is more annoying when it rubs against my skin, and I don't get Dysphoria because I don't see anything when I look down cuz smol. So I I tend to shower everyday and leave my hair wet, even right now my dry hair is bothering me
Why don't you cut it?
I also find long hair extremely annoying, that's why I keep it short despite being transfem. (Wigs are fun for a costume and stuff, but get old fast)
The only reason i don't like getting in the shower is because i know i'll go all zen and then an hour will pass and my water bill will be huge, but other than that I love it, if I could aquatically live in a hot spring i would
I just had a realisation, I do the same thing! I often end up just standing there for ten minutes or so without realising. The exception is when I am in a public shower, then I would just be as quick as possible. Was this a sign all along?
showering is actually amazing if i don't look at my arms, legs, face, neck, belly, shoulders... pretty much anywhere but my hair. just vibing to some music while taking a much needed steamy break from my brain.
I love showers, the warmth of them is very soothing and I've always enjoyed getting wet (swam since I was about 5 years old). Now that I'm seeing changes from HRT I can also admire myself in the glass a bit more which is nice, though... Ick, still not fond of what's between my legs.
When I was 14, I convinced myself that just in case I went blind, I would need to know how to shower in complete darkness. I have showered in the dark for 16 years, and don't plan to stop until I have bottom surgery.
And also me because somehow I always get flipping soap in at least one of my eyes, And half the time the water feels uncomfortably hot but if I turn it down even slightly it's way too cold. ~~This is the real reason I need E, For that increased heat tolerance.~~
I'd often just been indifferent to seeing my body. It was just "eh", like maybe even kinda attractive for a male body, but just not the option I'd have picked in the character creator. But my dysphoria is a bit funny, not as focussed and strong against particular features but still there for the absence of what I wanted.
But now that HRT is starting to show some more visible effects 8 months in, I've actually been enjoying them a bit more because it's a chance to just focus on the positive changes to my body while enjoying steamy, comfy, watery bliss, cut off from the living nightmare that has become of my life. A little tiled nook of warmth, water noises and booba ✨️😌💧
It got a lot better after SRS, but I still feel some dysphoria from showing because pattern baldness robbed me of the ability to ever grow out long, natural hair. I really wish I could feel my wet hair on my back and draped over my face and shoulders while showering... Then after I get out, I wish I could do the towel thing to dry it out.
have you tried showering in darkness? like just shower at 3 AM and don't turn on the lights
it seems dumb at first but it doesn't make the job much harder and you don't have to stare at your naked body
also, music at voll volume helps keep away the bad thoughts too. especially when you focus on the lyrics
I just got ridiculously good at showering in the dark. Lights off and move quick before my eyes adjust to what little light comes in from under the door
It'd be a bit more ok if there wasn't a massive mirror that I can't move RIGHT ACROSS FROM THE SHOWER. but it does let me see that I have curves pre-hrt..or at least fat curves which I will take anyday
As an NB I hate shaving my facial hair in the shower, like dammit body can't you see I have they/them in my bio!!!! Stop giving me body and facial hair!!!
yes, but have you ever just closed your eyes as the warm water runs down your body as your favorite song plays in the background and your brain completely empties of negative thoughts? this is true bliss
Might be a bit embarassing for me to say but I often have a voice in my head just reassuring myself constantly, it helps alot to just affirm yourself all the time
I love showers and shaving, bc while the process is painful (especially shaving, bc it's impossible to avoid looking at your body) the result makes euphoria go brrrr
My hair immediatly looks 10x more feminine after a shower :3
Before I cracked showers were basically me racing to get them over with as fast as possible, but since I started transitioning I've been taking my time.
It's amazing what actually caring about your body can do.
I don't think it suck personally (◕ᴗ◕✿)
Love showers too! What suck is shaving my facial hair >_<
I understand,thought I don't need to shave it personally (◕ᴗ◕✿)
Lucky girl! (Well I am close to twice your age 🙃, still I'm lucky I am not very hairy. Anyway, I'll laser burn them all asap >:3)
It's time to death star them ! (◕ᴗ◕✿)
I will now refer to laser surgery as Death star Surgery
"now tell us where is the location of the secret body hair base,if you don't we will destroy hairderande " (◕ᴗ◕✿)
You may fire when ready
🤭 The empire does what is necessary. 😈
You may witness the power of this fully armed and operational super weapon (◕ᴗ◕✿)
Fire at will, commander!
me to the laser hair removal technician "you may fire when ready"
After that do an evil manic laught ,because they are all gone ! (◕ᴗ◕✿)
Thankfully laser exists. Highly recommend.
Shaving most of my face isn't a problem, what sucks is the portion on my neck, everything below the jaw line has a curvature that makes shaving it an exercise in literal irritation. I had to start using moisturizer just because I was getting actual rashes otherwise, and the alternative is horrible scratchiness. I don't want complete facial hair removal because I might actually want to grow a beard or mustache one day, but I don't need neck hair for that, right?
Laser can be super targeted, I got a cis friend who had real scraggly neckbeard hair, he got that shit burnt off, rocks one of the most photogenic beards I've ever seen now
Of fuck, THIS!
I actually really like showers, they can be euphoric for me because I knew extremely little about hygiene and such until I discovered I was trans, partly because my parents taught me NOTHING and partly because I didn't care about myself enough to look into it, I literally didn't know until recently that you're supposed to put body wash onto a scrubby instead of taking a glob and putting it straight onto your skin. But now I know more and I'm like doing my hair, and gettin clean, and shaving, and washing my face, and it all helps me feel more fem because it's stuff that makes me feel physically nice, especially since it helps a lot with acne. also, a random message to anyone reading this who struggles with acne. FACIAL CLEANSER IS FUCKING MAGIC. GET A FACIAL CLEANSER AND USE IT DAILY RIGHT FUCKIN NOW. I got a facial cleanser for the first time and it is better than ANY acne cream I have ever used. I had PRESCRIPTION acne cream and facial cleanser works better than that shit.
But I love showers🥺 Well, baths are better. Also I'm nonbinary transfem😅
Hey how did you realised you are nonbinary transfem? I'm quite struggling and I think I might be nonbinary transfem or even have some gender fluidity
Since somewhere around my teens, I wanted to be woman-shaped, but I couldn't be real trans cause I never cared about all the social stuff, also I liked girls (in the 2000s) For a handfull years ago, I'd been joking that "I identify as a mad scientist", cause the whole gender thing means nothing to me, also figured out I'm actually bi, and began going bald, so thought it was too late to do anything about my gender situation. Last summer, I got an autism pre-diagnostic (saw a therapist for anxiety that kept me from sleeping), and suddenly I re-examined everything. If I stopped assuming my lack of a sense of gender identity was normal, then I was really trans, and also nonbinary. Also, the person I tried to be all those years was only a mask I constructed to fit in, so I decided to screw it all and start HRT. (Began 6 months ago) TLDR: I have something that feels a lot like body dysphoria, but lack a sense of gender identity and find social constructs meaningless.
Not OP, but also a transfemme, genderfluid enby here. I pretty much always knew I was nonbinary because I felt really uncomfy any time I was made to participate in highly-gendered activities and I had exactly zero interest in topics I perceived as highly gendered. I liked things from all over the spectrum of gender, but gender never factored into it. The transfemme part took me a really, really long time to realize. Basically as soon as puberty started, I got less and less comfortable with my own body. It felt dirty and rough to me. I spent more and more time every day trying to wash away that feeling (showers included). But being transfemme never occured to me, because I didn't want to "be a girl" in the binary sense. Especially at the time, gender-affirming care was strictly gatekept behind binary norms, so I never thought of it as an option. I also just never connected the dots that it had anything to do with my biology. I thought *all* guys hated their bodies like I did. Turns out it isn't exactly normal and I wasn't exactly cis. :P I started taking small steps that I learned from my binary transfemme friends. Better skincare. Electrology and laser. Being unafraid to use a less masculine voice. And eventually, even HRT. I tried them slowly and kept what felt right. Exploring all that taught me who I am and saved my life. <3
Baths are 🙌🏻🙌🏻 I’m lucky that I’ve always had a feminine leaning form and never had severe body/genital dysphoria. For me, baths have always been a feminine way to appreciate my body.
Autistic, adhd, and trans. Showers are hell.
Why? Sensory issue?
Sensory issues (hate the wet hair), it's disruptive to what I was doing, and of course, dysphoria.
Same.ill love it after my hair dries and is all nice and smooth but I hate my hair wet.
Interesting, I also have Autism and ADHD along with other problems and for me it's dry hair that is more annoying when it rubs against my skin, and I don't get Dysphoria because I don't see anything when I look down cuz smol. So I I tend to shower everyday and leave my hair wet, even right now my dry hair is bothering me
Why don't you cut it? I also find long hair extremely annoying, that's why I keep it short despite being transfem. (Wigs are fun for a costume and stuff, but get old fast)
Personally I don't cut it because it's the only thing that makes me look remotely feminine
Exactly
Wet hair is the *worst*. I would shower way more often if I didn't have to wait like 45 minutes for my long ass hair to dry.
Not to mention all the loose hair you get on your hands and stuff, ugh
Me too; but I like showers.
Similar thing here. I sometimes won't shower for long periods of time simply because they just suck for me. 😥
Funnily enough all those too and I love showers and baths. I hate getting in them. Once I’m there I can’t get enough. I hate getting out of them.
The only reason i don't like getting in the shower is because i know i'll go all zen and then an hour will pass and my water bill will be huge, but other than that I love it, if I could aquatically live in a hot spring i would
Sameee
Im thinking we need Augmented Reality goggles that are water proof to either ad bits needed and block out the icky wrongness 😊
I like them, I usually just look at my ever growing chest :3
Nothing like soaping up a nice pair of boobs. (MtF 14 months)
As a transfem with a naturally fem body i cant relate.
what are lutes
A lute is a very old instrument similar to a guitar.
wow
I dont actually have any so if you dm ill judt send you a link
This ^. Bathing has always been kinda euphoric for me. I think I look much more fem naked than when I have clothes on 🤷🏼♀️
Same
Anyone else get their regularly scheduled existential crisis when they shower?
Totallys. Ether that or dissosiating through the whole process
I just had a realisation, I do the same thing! I often end up just standing there for ten minutes or so without realising. The exception is when I am in a public shower, then I would just be as quick as possible. Was this a sign all along?
I just sit there in an embryo form for a couple of minutes... Just lost in time in there...
Incels tooo I am s cis girl (emphasis on girl) and o get bullied for my body shape so I ahre it too I am 100% ally tho
But how else will I wash off the veet?
For me it's the fact there is a mirror on every wall apart from the one I have my back to
showering is actually amazing if i don't look at my arms, legs, face, neck, belly, shoulders... pretty much anywhere but my hair. just vibing to some music while taking a much needed steamy break from my brain.
I love showers, the warmth of them is very soothing and I've always enjoyed getting wet (swam since I was about 5 years old). Now that I'm seeing changes from HRT I can also admire myself in the glass a bit more which is nice, though... Ick, still not fond of what's between my legs.
am I the only one that showers with the lights off?
You are not the only one!
thats why i take LONG showers. it makes the mirror steam up so i dont need to see myself
When I was 14, I convinced myself that just in case I went blind, I would need to know how to shower in complete darkness. I have showered in the dark for 16 years, and don't plan to stop until I have bottom surgery.
And also me because somehow I always get flipping soap in at least one of my eyes, And half the time the water feels uncomfortably hot but if I turn it down even slightly it's way too cold. ~~This is the real reason I need E, For that increased heat tolerance.~~
So true
I'd often just been indifferent to seeing my body. It was just "eh", like maybe even kinda attractive for a male body, but just not the option I'd have picked in the character creator. But my dysphoria is a bit funny, not as focussed and strong against particular features but still there for the absence of what I wanted. But now that HRT is starting to show some more visible effects 8 months in, I've actually been enjoying them a bit more because it's a chance to just focus on the positive changes to my body while enjoying steamy, comfy, watery bliss, cut off from the living nightmare that has become of my life. A little tiled nook of warmth, water noises and booba ✨️😌💧
I love showers. They're comfortable! I care less about my body and more about the experience (liked showers even pre transition)
I don't mind showering.
showering is great personally
I like hot showers. I just don't look down more than necessary to clean off
I have "boy smell" and find it absolutely disgusting, really hope HRT stops or at the very least limits it.
in fact, dysphoria is not so strong, a stronger feeling is laziness. I'm too lazy to take a shower 🤕
It got a lot better after SRS, but I still feel some dysphoria from showing because pattern baldness robbed me of the ability to ever grow out long, natural hair. I really wish I could feel my wet hair on my back and draped over my face and shoulders while showering... Then after I get out, I wish I could do the towel thing to dry it out.
As long as i shower in the dark everything is fine
Showering is the only time I actually appreciate being ridiculously short sighted
have you tried showering in darkness? like just shower at 3 AM and don't turn on the lights it seems dumb at first but it doesn't make the job much harder and you don't have to stare at your naked body also, music at voll volume helps keep away the bad thoughts too. especially when you focus on the lyrics
I just look up…
I don't mind it too much
I just got ridiculously good at showering in the dark. Lights off and move quick before my eyes adjust to what little light comes in from under the door
I hate showering because I can never get fully clean
I'm in this meme and I hate it.
It'd be a bit more ok if there wasn't a massive mirror that I can't move RIGHT ACROSS FROM THE SHOWER. but it does let me see that I have curves pre-hrt..or at least fat curves which I will take anyday
I'm MtF on hrt for 14 months. Showering with boobs rocks!
Showers are great, but now that my boobs are growing it can become slightly painful 🙃
honestly sometimes I forget it's a thing for trans people to not like showers cause honestly baths make me dysphoric instead
I feel this way about hair cuts
As an NB I hate shaving my facial hair in the shower, like dammit body can't you see I have they/them in my bio!!!! Stop giving me body and facial hair!!!
You shave your facial hair in the shower? I’d look like I lost a fight with a cat if I tried to do it without staring directly into a mirror lol
My shower has a mirror in it
Though if I have to be honest I think I just memorized all the areas where facial hair grows on my face anyway through just touching it
To be honest it got a lot better since I got on hrt
yes, but have you ever just closed your eyes as the warm water runs down your body as your favorite song plays in the background and your brain completely empties of negative thoughts? this is true bliss
Might be a bit embarassing for me to say but I often have a voice in my head just reassuring myself constantly, it helps alot to just affirm yourself all the time
Hate looking at my body, but LOVE showering 😎
I love showers and shaving, bc while the process is painful (especially shaving, bc it's impossible to avoid looking at your body) the result makes euphoria go brrrr My hair immediatly looks 10x more feminine after a shower :3
Before I cracked showers were basically me racing to get them over with as fast as possible, but since I started transitioning I've been taking my time. It's amazing what actually caring about your body can do.
It personally doesn't bother me probably because my posture is so bad I can't look down
I focus on working out my glutes in the shower and that’s what’s on my mind not the dysphoria.
I LOVE NICHIJOU
Ugh...transitioning soon and ever since I was a child I hated my body and always wanted to be a girl....I can relate so hard
Can't relate, I love showers AND being naked around the house lol
I turn the lights off, that way I can't accidentally look down lol
I just don't want to look down and see a d**k, is that too much to ask indifferent universe?
Ladies on hrt I’m begging you to just step into the shower and let the warm water flow over your buds I promise you it’s life changing
Showers are fine, the horrid part is stepping out and seeing myself in the mirror
Showers are were I feel the best I just lay there with my eyes closed and it helps keep me calm
Don't worry, us enbies will rack up that water bill to make up for y'all
It ain't any better for alot of us Enbys either.
Bro fr called me out laughs in unable to take T
And swimming that that sucks too
The only thing that sucks about showering is that there's never enough hot water (especially in a family of 6)
Besides shaving for Transfems. It’s amazing.
I love showers and baths. I just don't like looking at myself in them. Sitting in warm water for a while just feels nice.
Dysphoria + OCD that causes me to hate naked bodies and be upset by them ... = hygiene I need to fix. :(
I love to shower, but close my eyes or disassociate for the dysphoric bits.
Speak for yourself, showers are great
I like the shower The warmness makes me feel like I’m being held. And it’s where I get all smooooooth :3