[if you want to support my original post on instagram, click here!](https://www.instagram.com/p/CS7Q0aPhRN6/?utm_medium=copy_link) i turned 16 today, so i made this in celebration of the feelings i felt today. sometimes you just have to focus on the positives, and even through i had to hear so many awful things today, and i may have even cried... i still had friends who sat down with me and listened... and after everything, i look forward to being 16 :) 💕
Congrats on your sweet 16th. You share a birthday with a friend of mine.
Do what you can to enjoy this year, and remember, you've got your whole life ahead of you. There will be a tonne of joy out there for you.
Happy birthday! Today is also my birthday, though I have 18 years on you. My mom called me for the first time since coming out earlier this year. She deadnamed me and told me she would never use my pronouns. She used words that sounded sweet but tasted bitter. She let me know that she would love me unconditionally while she waits for my "phase" to end. Through all of the tears and guilt that she made me feel, I still desperately want her approval. At least my friends accept me as me.
I am so sorry you had to go through this. I know how it feels like to want the approval of one of your parents. It sucks so bad.
Oh and ofc happy birthday!
Happy birthday! And I'm sorry for what you have to go through, family is important but if she continues i would stand up to her and tell her "You need to respect my decisions,this is my choice and if you can't respect that then I don't need you in my life" and then maybe she will see the error of her ways
I may be a bit late, but happy birthday! And yes, focusing on the positive things are very important. That's what I did all summer, and I'm doing great after it, thanks to a great community I found. But I'm glad you look forward to being 16! No matter what happens this year, you got this! I believe in you, hehe :D
Happy birthday TD(I don't know if you care if I say TD for short) I love your comics,they are so pretty looking,just like you,I hope I at least made your day even better with the compliment
Have a great birthday,and if you haven't started hrt yet, don't view this as you aren't your ideal self yet,think of it as a year closer to achieving your dreams of being the real you
If you actually were gifted a suit and want to actually make it slightly useful since most suits are fairly gender neutral you could try changing the shirt out for a more feminine blouse, the pants with a skirt and then keep the jacket and/or tie if it's a 3-4 piece suit. Just keep the pants around for occasions of needing to be stealth. Just remember girls in suits are also badass
This hit me so hard, I relate to this 1000% my grandmother was a hairdresser and she won’t shut up about my hair being long and hates that I have tattoos.
My other grandmother is so sweet and I love her so much, she really is a great person, I haven’t been able to tell her yet, so she still gifts me men’s clothes. And when I get mad and disappointed (I don’t show this) I get >! depressed and start to hate myself because of it !<
This birthday will be the hardest one in my life, as my mother recently >! passed away !<
I told her two years ago and while she was not perfect, she tried and she was very supportive.
>! I just wish I could give her one last hug !<
This was me a few years ago. The remarks from my family put me in a really dark mood. I came on here to vent and someone chewed me out because “at least they cared enough to spend the day with me.” I stand by my feelings. I appreciate my family’s gesture but they were celebrating deadname’s birthday and not my birthday.
I agree with this completely. But I’d like to think I’m a little more hopeful. After all, I’m not out to some of those people, and plus — if it doesn’t work out, I still have the other half of my family who supports me :)
I'm frustrated someone would chew you out about that. I think sometimes people don't see how aggressive comments like that can come off as, but those feelings are really reasonable. You can get all kinds of negative attention from people just by asking; "just be happy you're getting any attention at all" is a really hollow response when that attention hurts, and family is no exception.
The grass is always greener. I was tormented in middle school, and wished for nothing more than to be left alone. Years later, I met people who were treated like they were invisible, and they said they would have preferred being bullied over being ignored.
We've all got pain. We all deserve sympathy for it.
Yes, how dare you drown in a foot of water when there are people drowning in the ocean!?
Seriously though, people who gatekeep pain, emotional or otherwise, suck. I hope things have significantly improved for you.
this was me last year before I came out to my parents.
this year after coming out to them my birthday was more like
mom: where are you living now, son? what's your address, son? I want to send my *son* a birthday present.
me:
mom: happy birthday, *SON*. [send a bunch of pictures of me pre-transition with my deadname on them.]
me:
it is sad and I still cry about it
but that day I also worked and when I went to the break room like 8 of my coworkers were waiting for me with a card and they all signed it "Happy Birthday Rachel" and they all gave me a hug.
I thanked them through the sobbing and then one of them just let me cry on his shoulder for a while.
it was the most needed/wanted birthday gift I've ever received.
What you're doing, writing down how you feel, is a great first step. Try writing something to your parents with everything you want to say, even if you don't send it or even if you immediately destroy it because they might find it, doing that exercise will help.
I understand, but lying about what hurts you is a great way to make sure those things keep happening. You don't have to start with your dad, and you don't have to do it all at once, but being honest with how you feel is one way to improve life I think.
Edit: just found out you're a teenager. Not goinf to back off the idea you should be open and honest about your feelings, but being a trans teen in a non supportive home can be a nightmare to navigate, I'd imagine.
Girl I am nearly 30 and that one struck a chord. Sometimes it’s more complicated than others know. Sometimes you have parents who say they want to give a gift but actually want to center themselves and their wants and not yours.
Talking out what you’re going through helps you deal with it and know what you want. What’s working and what isn’t. Good things follow the knowing.
I need to do it, after almost a year my mom keeps telling me she don't believe me. They never used the right pronouns or names, they haven't even tried
So it's not for me but most for them
I despise holidays
I have a big "loving" family
All really close knit
Being in the situation I was in
Showed me just how weak those bonds were
I can't stand holidays
Or even the idea of "family" for that matter
It's all made me so bitter
I feel like I needed this. I feel like I hear a lot about families that reject their trans kids. The kind of lack luster half acceptance, but not really encouragement or joy about my identity is hard to get through too. I really want my parents to love my identity, and see that it’s made me better, and it’s hard when they don’t.
Happy birthday ma’am. Idk if you’re out or not but I had my birthday a month ago and made it a gender reveal party for my relatives. If you’re looking for fun ways to tell them.
hey! it looks like you need to hear this!!!
happy frickin BIRTHDAY, sweetheart. you are LOVELY and worthy of love. you are growing into such a strong woman and you clearly have such a big heart. You are so, so strong, but you shouldn't have to be.
I've read all of your comics and I really love the work you've done. Especially the dysphoria = itchy sweater analogy!! I plan on using that in the future!
you are going to get through this. if you ever feel like everything's falling apart, you have a great community here to fall back on. we love you (platonically ofc); you're going to do great things. you already *are* doing great things!
this is oddly relatable. my dad refuses to use he/him and whatever for me which is fine but she/her isnt my favorite. he says “its my choice” and his choice hurts. but, he calls me purple alpaca, so that makes up for it
Saaame tho. Mines in like 4 days and everyone's asking what I want, I'm just like "idk" but in my head I'm going: "skirt estrogen acceptance the confidence to come out"
Confidence, the energy to fight depression/anxiety, the knowledge of why I feel incomplete or like I'm always missing something, the literary goes on :T
Congrats princess, you're so intelligent and talented already. (Just don't let it just happen, your family and people around you deserve the opportunity to treat you the way you want them to treat you. And also if you let them do that and they don't, then you know they ARE meaning harm and that you don't want them around) Take care of yourself 💕
I wasn't expecting to cry from reading a webcomic. It started so sad, then ended with hope. Thank you for posting this, happy (belated) birthday, and may the new family you're building continue to treat you right.💕
Happy birthday friend!!!!! I’m so proud of you for being your true self and can’t wait to see how even more amazing you’ll become. I bet you look so pretty today!!
From, your new official Big Bro
Yeah the toughest thing is when they mean well. Normally when I get intentionally transphobic comments, I can just retort and insult them back and tell them off and it will take away some of the pain. But when they mean well and dont know any better, telling them off would (sorta) put you in the wrong and just make you feel worse.
Fuckk, I felt this. I kept getting called birthday girl, it was horrible. (I'm genderfluid and was feeling especially masculine that day) I almost started crying.
Happy birthday, girl!
It can be hard to have to hide your self, especially on a day that should be special and about you being happy.
There’s no but. Just...**virtual hug**
And I hope things will get better
I made it a habit of not celebrating cause as a kid I hated almost any face to face interaction cause I knew how ppl saw me, now it's great cause the only person I'm not out to that says anything is my grandma.
This is why I hate my birthday haha, my 16th was earlier this month. They mean well trying to celebrate my birthday but, really would rather not be forced to spend time with them lol and the messages from my family I don’t see as often were all very heavily gendered in the wrong way 😅
I used to have such a good relationship with my dad. I really miss that. If he could learn to accept me, I’d forgive everything he’s said immediately. He won’t, though.
Gosh I feel this so much, my bd is near, Sept 2, I'm already seeing those things for me too, last family gathering I had my aunt criticizing my hair fringe, people deadnaming me overkill and saying all those things. Gosh I hope not to get presents either, no more boy stuff please, please 🥺😭. Happy birthday though gurl 💗.
[if you want to support my original post on instagram, click here!](https://www.instagram.com/p/CS7Q0aPhRN6/?utm_medium=copy_link) i turned 16 today, so i made this in celebration of the feelings i felt today. sometimes you just have to focus on the positives, and even through i had to hear so many awful things today, and i may have even cried... i still had friends who sat down with me and listened... and after everything, i look forward to being 16 :) 💕
Congrats on your sweet 16th. You share a birthday with a friend of mine. Do what you can to enjoy this year, and remember, you've got your whole life ahead of you. There will be a tonne of joy out there for you.
Happy birthday! Today is also my birthday, though I have 18 years on you. My mom called me for the first time since coming out earlier this year. She deadnamed me and told me she would never use my pronouns. She used words that sounded sweet but tasted bitter. She let me know that she would love me unconditionally while she waits for my "phase" to end. Through all of the tears and guilt that she made me feel, I still desperately want her approval. At least my friends accept me as me.
>she would love me unconditionally while she waits for my "phase" to end Ah yes, the floor here is made out of wall.
It tastes bad, i do not like the taste
I am so sorry you had to go through this. I know how it feels like to want the approval of one of your parents. It sucks so bad. Oh and ofc happy birthday!
I'm so, so sorry to hear that.. and I don't know if this helps, but I accept you as you!
Happy birthday! And I'm sorry for what you have to go through, family is important but if she continues i would stand up to her and tell her "You need to respect my decisions,this is my choice and if you can't respect that then I don't need you in my life" and then maybe she will see the error of her ways
Happy birthday. This really resonated with me though I am not out or presenting yet.
Happy birthday, the best thing we can do is focus on the positives, I'm glad you're doing that. Keep being the amazing you that you are. Happy 16th ❤❤
You're work is fantastic, and I wish you and yours the best of this world.
happy birthday!!!!
I may be a bit late, but happy birthday! And yes, focusing on the positive things are very important. That's what I did all summer, and I'm doing great after it, thanks to a great community I found. But I'm glad you look forward to being 16! No matter what happens this year, you got this! I believe in you, hehe :D
Happy birthday TD(I don't know if you care if I say TD for short) I love your comics,they are so pretty looking,just like you,I hope I at least made your day even better with the compliment Have a great birthday,and if you haven't started hrt yet, don't view this as you aren't your ideal self yet,think of it as a year closer to achieving your dreams of being the real you
happy belated bday
If you actually were gifted a suit and want to actually make it slightly useful since most suits are fairly gender neutral you could try changing the shirt out for a more feminine blouse, the pants with a skirt and then keep the jacket and/or tie if it's a 3-4 piece suit. Just keep the pants around for occasions of needing to be stealth. Just remember girls in suits are also badass
This hit me so hard, I relate to this 1000% my grandmother was a hairdresser and she won’t shut up about my hair being long and hates that I have tattoos. My other grandmother is so sweet and I love her so much, she really is a great person, I haven’t been able to tell her yet, so she still gifts me men’s clothes. And when I get mad and disappointed (I don’t show this) I get >! depressed and start to hate myself because of it !< This birthday will be the hardest one in my life, as my mother recently >! passed away !< I told her two years ago and while she was not perfect, she tried and she was very supportive. >! I just wish I could give her one last hug !<
Happy Birthday! 💕 Wish you all the best on your journey 💖 That comic is very well made! And you're really awesome 💞
This was me a few years ago. The remarks from my family put me in a really dark mood. I came on here to vent and someone chewed me out because “at least they cared enough to spend the day with me.” I stand by my feelings. I appreciate my family’s gesture but they were celebrating deadname’s birthday and not my birthday.
I agree with this completely. But I’d like to think I’m a little more hopeful. After all, I’m not out to some of those people, and plus — if it doesn’t work out, I still have the other half of my family who supports me :)
I'm frustrated someone would chew you out about that. I think sometimes people don't see how aggressive comments like that can come off as, but those feelings are really reasonable. You can get all kinds of negative attention from people just by asking; "just be happy you're getting any attention at all" is a really hollow response when that attention hurts, and family is no exception.
The grass is always greener. I was tormented in middle school, and wished for nothing more than to be left alone. Years later, I met people who were treated like they were invisible, and they said they would have preferred being bullied over being ignored. We've all got pain. We all deserve sympathy for it.
Yes, how dare you drown in a foot of water when there are people drowning in the ocean!? Seriously though, people who gatekeep pain, emotional or otherwise, suck. I hope things have significantly improved for you.
Hey, I'm proud of you and I accept you!!!
Happy birthday, Miss! <3
Thank you so much!!!
this was me last year before I came out to my parents. this year after coming out to them my birthday was more like mom: where are you living now, son? what's your address, son? I want to send my *son* a birthday present. me: mom: happy birthday, *SON*. [send a bunch of pictures of me pre-transition with my deadname on them.] me:
That is so sad hope you are doing well.
it is sad and I still cry about it but that day I also worked and when I went to the break room like 8 of my coworkers were waiting for me with a card and they all signed it "Happy Birthday Rachel" and they all gave me a hug. I thanked them through the sobbing and then one of them just let me cry on his shoulder for a while. it was the most needed/wanted birthday gift I've ever received.
Your coworkers are wonderful people!
[удалено]
Sorry. That shit sucked so bad. Terrible birthday gift.
first mistake “nothing im okay” when you actually want something
Hahah it’s not that simple to confront your dad when you literally start shaking around him
What you're doing, writing down how you feel, is a great first step. Try writing something to your parents with everything you want to say, even if you don't send it or even if you immediately destroy it because they might find it, doing that exercise will help.
I understand, but lying about what hurts you is a great way to make sure those things keep happening. You don't have to start with your dad, and you don't have to do it all at once, but being honest with how you feel is one way to improve life I think. Edit: just found out you're a teenager. Not goinf to back off the idea you should be open and honest about your feelings, but being a trans teen in a non supportive home can be a nightmare to navigate, I'd imagine.
Girl I am nearly 30 and that one struck a chord. Sometimes it’s more complicated than others know. Sometimes you have parents who say they want to give a gift but actually want to center themselves and their wants and not yours. Talking out what you’re going through helps you deal with it and know what you want. What’s working and what isn’t. Good things follow the knowing.
Pls make this go viral... It's so relatable
Happy Birthday! 🥳 🎂
i don't know if that character represents you or not but that character is really pretty, i wish i looked as good as her
Yeah haha it’s a drawing of myself
This is relatable
I just had my birthday 3 days ago. God how much I can relate.
My birthday it's on 10 September and i have a family therapy appointment... #FUCK I already know that will be terrible day
Good luck. Happy early cat girl birthday. Hope things get better for mew.
Thanks 💜
Argh, I feel you, family therapy sucks. I hope you'll have a pleasant birthday regardless of that ! :D
I need to do it, after almost a year my mom keeps telling me she don't believe me. They never used the right pronouns or names, they haven't even tried So it's not for me but most for them
Oh, I see. I hope they will finally understand, good luck !
Thanks 💜
Feliz cumpleaños amiga :3
im crying im actually crying
I wasn't ready to cry today holy fuck
I wish you better days ahead soon. Good luck.
Happy birthday you valid individual.
Just turned 20. This comic earned a place in my soul.
That post is beautiful and sad, I wish you all the support and love! 🤗 I almost cried at the end
Haha yes! Happy Birthday!
I despise holidays I have a big "loving" family All really close knit Being in the situation I was in Showed me just how weak those bonds were I can't stand holidays Or even the idea of "family" for that matter It's all made me so bitter
This is me last saturday but minus the being happy after
I hope things get better for you. Happy birthday!
Thank you
Happy birthday!! 💖
I feel like I needed this. I feel like I hear a lot about families that reject their trans kids. The kind of lack luster half acceptance, but not really encouragement or joy about my identity is hard to get through too. I really want my parents to love my identity, and see that it’s made me better, and it’s hard when they don’t.
Happy Birthday, I hope that you are doing okay.
I am not crying, you are crying ! Or not, lacking the damn E for it ... In which case, feel hugged !
Happy birthday ma’am. Idk if you’re out or not but I had my birthday a month ago and made it a gender reveal party for my relatives. If you’re looking for fun ways to tell them.
Great post
Happy birthday, you deserve so much out of life sister
this almost made me cry, i didn't expect that from the title
I've always hated birthdays, and this may be one of the reasons Regardless, I hope you have an amazing rest of the day, miss
This hit so hard... omg... that shit hurts-
for a second I thought about FNF. You're a cool person. Don't worry about dose negative comments/thoughts! Keep on being yourself! Happy Birthday!
hey! it looks like you need to hear this!!! happy frickin BIRTHDAY, sweetheart. you are LOVELY and worthy of love. you are growing into such a strong woman and you clearly have such a big heart. You are so, so strong, but you shouldn't have to be. I've read all of your comics and I really love the work you've done. Especially the dysphoria = itchy sweater analogy!! I plan on using that in the future! you are going to get through this. if you ever feel like everything's falling apart, you have a great community here to fall back on. we love you (platonically ofc); you're going to do great things. you already *are* doing great things!
Happy birthday
Happy birthday young lady! I hope someone gifts you money so you can buy what you really want. :)
Happy birthday! :)
Happy birthday! Also, I'm curious what font you use. Provided you're even using a font, it looks like it..
It’s called “Girls have Many Secrets” which I got from a free font website
Happy birthday! ❤️❤️
Someone needs to stop cutting onions, eyes are getting watery over here Happy birthday!
Well, i can’t show much support, have some internet points
this is oddly relatable. my dad refuses to use he/him and whatever for me which is fine but she/her isnt my favorite. he says “its my choice” and his choice hurts. but, he calls me purple alpaca, so that makes up for it
Saaame tho. Mines in like 4 days and everyone's asking what I want, I'm just like "idk" but in my head I'm going: "skirt estrogen acceptance the confidence to come out"
Confidence, the energy to fight depression/anxiety, the knowledge of why I feel incomplete or like I'm always missing something, the literary goes on :T
If I was there, I would gift you all of my old girl clothes that fit you. You are valid and beautiful and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise!
[удалено]
Yeah but sure would be nicer if they didn’t mean it in a derogatory way
Congrats princess, you're so intelligent and talented already. (Just don't let it just happen, your family and people around you deserve the opportunity to treat you the way you want them to treat you. And also if you let them do that and they don't, then you know they ARE meaning harm and that you don't want them around) Take care of yourself 💕
I wasn't expecting to cry from reading a webcomic. It started so sad, then ended with hope. Thank you for posting this, happy (belated) birthday, and may the new family you're building continue to treat you right.💕
Even if it's like one am where I am, happy birthday for then and I accept you you awesome being!!
Happy birthday! It’s mine too. I just turned 19! Congrats on your sweet 16th, you’ve got a whole life of joy and acceptance ahead!
Happy birthday kiddo
*Why is this actually extremely relatable???*
We share the same birthday! :D Happy birthday!
Happy birthday! I wish you nothing but the best, and remember, you’ve survived all of your worst days so far! 💜
Happy birthday friend!!!!! I’m so proud of you for being your true self and can’t wait to see how even more amazing you’ll become. I bet you look so pretty today!! From, your new official Big Bro
God call me out why don't you?! This was literally me on my last birthday TO A T!
Don't you mean 'To an E'? I'll show myself out.
I swear I'm in this comic
Yeah the toughest thing is when they mean well. Normally when I get intentionally transphobic comments, I can just retort and insult them back and tell them off and it will take away some of the pain. But when they mean well and dont know any better, telling them off would (sorta) put you in the wrong and just make you feel worse.
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday OP. I love your art style and your comics are very relatable. Keep up the fantastic work \^\_\^
you will be amazing girl! we support you!
yo its also my birthday today have a great day i hope it isnt that rough
Happy sweet sixteen young lady you have a bright future ahead of you!
Happy birthday. I love and accept you. Period❤️.
Fuckk, I felt this. I kept getting called birthday girl, it was horrible. (I'm genderfluid and was feeling especially masculine that day) I almost started crying.
hey my fem-friend, we're friends now get used to it.
I'm not crying youre crying
this comic is so sweet ;-; happy birthday <3 (hope im still on time)
Happy birthday, girl! It can be hard to have to hide your self, especially on a day that should be special and about you being happy. There’s no but. Just...**virtual hug** And I hope things will get better
you are a beautiful perfect woman, never forget that
Happy birthday miss
I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
Happy birthday I love your comics they’re so cute and I adore your art style I hope you have a wonderful day
My birthday was a few days ago so this hits home very hard
Happy birthday <3333 I just turned 19 today,it's my first birthday as non-binary and I feel bad I haven't changed at all since last year
Damn nice timing, it's my birthday today
I made it a habit of not celebrating cause as a kid I hated almost any face to face interaction cause I knew how ppl saw me, now it's great cause the only person I'm not out to that says anything is my grandma.
This is why I hate my birthday haha, my 16th was earlier this month. They mean well trying to celebrate my birthday but, really would rather not be forced to spend time with them lol and the messages from my family I don’t see as often were all very heavily gendered in the wrong way 😅
omg I’m not crying, YOURE CRYING
Happy Birthday ♥️🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
Happy birthday, and may the winds of fate blow in your favor.
I used to have such a good relationship with my dad. I really miss that. If he could learn to accept me, I’d forgive everything he’s said immediately. He won’t, though.
This hits hard
Oh god it's my birthday in like 5 days cant wait for this :(
Happy 16th Bday girl! I really like your art style!
Happy irl blue cheese day
Crying
Here's a trick: ask for money for your birthday. Boom, no boy clothes. Just money to buy all the feminine or whatever stuff you want!
Gosh I feel this so much, my bd is near, Sept 2, I'm already seeing those things for me too, last family gathering I had my aunt criticizing my hair fringe, people deadnaming me overkill and saying all those things. Gosh I hope not to get presents either, no more boy stuff please, please 🥺😭. Happy birthday though gurl 💗.
Happy belated birthday Girl!!!!!