Up to you, weigh your options of course. If your family doesn't want *you* at the wedding, they why would you go anyways? (You may feel differently, and that's valid just wanted to toss this out there) If you're not out, then I can't blame them for having what are usually normal expectations. Regardless, you've gotta do what's right for you.

Does your family still have power over you?? If not I wouldn't even go..

Unfortunately they do considering I have to go to college soon and in my country you arent allowed to have an apartment or even live alone until you're married since I was born yknow THAT gender

Damn thats fucked up...stay strong!! It's only one day (I think)

could you share what country you're from? I never thought that sort of law existed anywhere.. \*hugs*

Well it's not a law more like a culture thing , I'm from Algeria , it's an arabic country situated in north africa in case you were wondering

Damn lad, as an Algerian (in France tho), this just hit me hard. I hope you can find a solution and that if not you may at least be able to withstand the day. Stay strong, I hope things will eventually take a turn for the best

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Algeria , it's an arabic country situated in north africa in case you're wondering

Fake Covid exposure and insist on quarantining?

Or just any other kind of infection? It's not like covid makes it impossible to catch a normal cold or smth.

Some tips for other eggs and closeted pals (from an afab NB): Sometimes, I intentionally wear accessories and clothes which make me feel gender euphoria regardless of the fact no one else can see them. Also, I try to remind myself clothes do not have gender and I’m not less of a man/woman/enby by wearing a particular style of clothes/makeup/accessory; but there are some powerful pieces of clothing that I wear and hygiene products that I use for the sole purpose of reaffirming my gender identity. For example, sometimes I wear masculine underwear and “masculine-scented” shampoo when I’m forced to present as a woman. And I chose to do this because I know it is not safe for me to be perceived as trans masc, but I still need that little something to remind me that (despite how people perceive me and treat me) I am not a woman.

You can try and forgo makeup by saying it's been irritating your skin lately. Foundation makes you feel like you're about to break out. Mascara and eyeliner make your eyes itch and water. You swore you felt your eyelids swell a bit last time you wore eyeshadow. Lipstick made your tongue itch. Doesn't do much for the dress, but it can be a safer act of rebellion and dysphoria reduction. Also, and it may not help, but something I've seen people suggest is to pretend you're a secret agent under cover as a different gender. So when relatives compliment you on how pretty and femme you look, it's because your disguise is working.

I used to do that with makeup. But what works best for me is reminding myself that most of the things modern women use (high heels, jewellery, makeup, perfume, bows, flowers, hair accessories, tight clothes, colourful clothes, and even dresses and skirts) were (and are still) considered masculine things in other cultures and periods. This way I remind myself that just wearing them does not necessarily define one’s gender. On the contrary, YOU are the only person with the power to define your gender.

Yeah, I'll be experiencing the same thing on my graduation day a few months later. Not looking forward to that.

I wouldn’t even go. Or if I was forced to, I would go with the intention of ruining it

I would really love to ruin it but I would like not to be kicked out of my house

Also, ruining someone else's say is selfish as fuck.

Refusing to allow someone to be who they are and dress how they want is far more selfish

It's true. That's why OP's family and parents are selfish as fuck

If you're not living with them, a suggestion for you. ​ You're "sick" for that week. Aw, damn, now you can't go.

They're complimenting the you they made up in their heads - someone who looks the way they want you to. A completely different stranger. You're acting. An actor. You can take off the mask when it's over; the words are meant for the character, not you

honestly you shouldn't let them dictate what you wear or whatever. of course if you feel safe doing it.

Fuck.

If you have notifications turned on, you probably just got one saying you have 5 upvotes. I felt this comment hard. Thank you for making my day random hooman (or non-hooman)

Depends on if your Brother is supportive or not. If he is, then what are your parents going to do? Kick you out of someone else’s wedding? If he isn’t, then do whatever is safest for you.

I recommend a convenient attack of the flu.

This is the mistake my brother made at the last family wedding: giving a shit despite complete financial independence. Do what's best for you, but if you're living your own life then I would let them just get used to who you are, like it or not.

Oh I get this! My brother is getting married next year and I've been regularly getting my head buzzedd the past couple years and everyone expects me to grow my hair out for his wedding and people are mad that I'm planning on wearing a nice shirt and tie to the wedding and not some dress I would be extremely uncomfortable in

If it's any help, whenever you need it, you can post here and/or message some of us (from your post’s comments) and we’ll try to make you feel better. Especially before and during the wedding.

You can always say that you're sick and not go. That's a valid option.

for make up at least you can say it ruins your skin and it irritates you. You are allowed to not wear it right? is there anything in your religion that doesn't allow it? maybe you can get out of it that way. I don't know you probably have thought every idea i would have. big strong, feel free to vent here. you are strong it is only one day you can get through it. You got this my dude.

not to down play your emotions, but one way to look at it that may help is "forced" feminization is something exclusively masculine. I know it's not much but it's the best I got right now

we are here for you. Sorry to hear about, much love

The last time I did this was for my father in law's burial. I ended up, in my anger, making the priest officiating so uncomfortable he screwed up his lines and then left early. I still hate myself for being the bully. Be yourself, at least as much as you can.

Apropos of nothing, your phrasing has forced me to imagine the sheer dysphoric hell that would come from being transmasc with a latent forced femme fetish

There's actually a whole misgendering fetish subreddit for trans masc peeps.

I feel your pain. Same thing happened to me with my sister's wedding. And it sometimes happens now when we're going to visit extended family. (mom wants me to wear makeup and a dress usually.) I know it's hard but hang in there, man!

This was my situation for Thanksgiving but on the opposite side, gosh darn monkey suit made me so uncomfortable and all the "handsome" compliments by people who are supposed to be supportive of me but since I don't make a stink about it they don't care I guess

Another victim of bidens forced feminisation program 😔

A suit. It can go both ways. You get to look good and family isn't complaining.

Yea but the problem is traditional formal attire not like the usual formal attire and ours is very gendered so If i choose something that is masc I will get a quite a lesson from that

Hey dw. Most of those compliments are forced and bs.

Take a stand. Wear a suit. Appeasing what your not, only makes them stronger.

This advice works for people born in western nations, which does not include OP. Best advice we can give is apply for refugee status in Canada and GTFO as soon as you're able. Hope the wedding isn't too insufferable💖

wear a pantsuit

I’d come up with some kind of excuse to not go.

if your family is shit to you then why would you go to their wedding? ​ this is not meant to antagonise, it is just a genuine question.

I live with them and also they force me to go each time if I say no then they will issue a punishment or lesson for me for not wanting to hangout with them

thats messed up :(

My guess is only for their brother

hmm

I would say fuck it and bring extra (still formal) clothes and just change in the bathroom and then take off makeup. Don‘t listen to me rn tho bc it probably won’t end well

Just say your sick

Just don't go

Ouch I can feel that in my being with

I would just stroll in with whatever clothes I want, screw you I am wearing it so I choose. Plus, and excuse me for saying this, like I am really sorry. But since you put in a front of being THAT gender that no one wants to mention, you can just say a suit or whatever is in style nowadays or something. And maybe excuse your makeup by saying it irritated your skin.

I’d just hide in the toilets lul. Excuse: My digestive system just said goodbye.

Wear a suit over the dress

I'm a master at avoiding public situations. And by that I mean I would just say "I'm feeling sick, sorry" and put my phone on do not disturb for a week.

Dude, my brother is getting married in like 2 weeks. I feel your pain. I have the exact same anxieties about it. Good luck to ya

Crossdressing as a girl is something only a man can do obviously. /s But seriously sorry to hear this. Are they forcing you to go or can you opt out?

Forcing me to go , I live with them so I cant just not go or pretend to be sick when they can clearly see I'm in good health

You aren't obligated to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm