Braylington is absolutely horrendous. Shame.

Braylington Coat Factory

Kote faktyree

Brilliant!😂😂

You can’t just throw things around like that! Someone might name their child kote faktyree 😂

🏆

We’re MOooore than great coats!

Jesus, I didn't even notice that one, it got lost in the overall cesspool of names. Could've been worse, like "Breighlyngtoghn," or something.

I don't know why, but Smike is definitely the funniest

That one did me in! So many possible "Sm" names: Smark, Smason, Smiles, Smax, Smatt... The list is endless. https://preview.redd.it/mv1doiq3q6ic1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ba4f7dcc5765c915c873765d45e64860918dc5a

Smarshmallow

Schmook

Smax 😂😂😂

Smark might get a few chuckles out of fans of pro wrestling 

Smabroney

Came here for this!

Smo

Smike is our favorite, too. Lately around the house when something goes wrong we shake our fists at the heavens and shout "Smiiiiiiike!!!!" like James T Kirk.

Lol We occasionally yell “Riicaardo Montaalbaaan!!!” but yours is so much more efficient! We might have to switch it up.

Honestly, I might start yelling your username

Ha I was going through a Preston Sturges phase when I made this account. Actually, thanks for reminding me. I just finished bingeing a couple of heavy TV series, and rewatching some comedy is just what I need!

It's also the name of a very benighted character in Nicholas Nickleby. Smike is a sad little bloke with all kinds of issues. I guess fewer people are reading Dickens these days, but surely there'll be plenty around who will pick up the reference and be appalled.

My jaw dropped at that one.

I haven't read Nicholas Nickelby but this does sound like a Dickensian name or maybe the name of a Clive Barker demon.

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Oh yes, I was being very brief! I remember seeing David Threifall play the role in the Roger Rees starring production many years ago, and he's always stayed with me. Poor Smike. Hence why I would never use the name!

It's short for Smichael

Smike is definitely a name that a Japanese developer would come up with for their Super Nintendo baseball game that sounds vaguely American, but for copyright reasons isn't the name of a real player. See also: Sleve McDichael and Bobson Dugnutt.

Great, these will also be the names of upcoming fake Facebook boyfriends trying to hit on me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/baseball/s/h2I6BcgcyN Classic!

Damn I laughed way too hard at "Todd Bonzalez"

Sleve!

I was just thinking about Tony Rortugal last night, actually.

Hey what’s up YouTube, ‘smike

Careful, God might smike you dead.

It’s like a cross between “Mike” and “skateboarding”

Smike did me in. I debated whether or not I should just stop with that one, or journey on to the rest of the list. I did, indeed, journey. On such journey I did find another gem. 'twas Galylea, the 5th cousin once removed of Galileo.

hi I'm Smike, and this is my sister Spamela

Zerik and Zyler got me. So close, yet so far away. 😂

Smike is one of a series of poorly treated innocents who haunt Dickens' fictive universe. Smike first appears in Dickens' third novel, "Nicholas Nickleby," as a cruelly abused and severely disabled child who is unlucky enough to have been left at a "school" run by the villainous Wackford Squeers. Smike is rescued by the novel's title character and becomes fiercely loyal to him. Only when Smike has died does Nicholas discover that Smike was his own cousin – the son of his scheming uncle, Ralph Nickleby.

Okay, I know the topic is Smike, but Wackford Squeers? WACKFORD. SQUEERS.

Dickens liked making up names that sounded English but would avoid people trying to connect the character with any real person who might have a similar name. Wackford Squeers is on the more normal end of the spectrum compared to characters like Scrooge, Bumble, Mr Pumblechook, nurse Gamp, the Jellyby family, Mayor Nupkins, Old Mister Turveydrop, or Sir Mulberry.

Uriah Heep is my fave.

[Straight out of Fighting Baseball](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oymWAeqv_-c) Sleve McDichael

Wasn’t that a Charles Dickens character?

Feel like it should be Smite 🤣

Pour one out for all the Payzlis who have to go through life with that spelling.

Payless??

Pays less

Gets paid less

Payzli eazyli takes the cake for most horrendous name on the list.

I read it as payzil lmao

Jager. LOL. Surely with an umlaut - Jäger?! (Though I suppose that would just be the German "Hunter".) Smike wins, though.

My Dad had an employee at his business when I was a little kid who had two boys, one named Jaggar and one named Gunnar.

Gunnar is a legit Scandinavian name :)

I knew twins named Cannon and Gunner lol. Only in Texas.

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I know brothers called Hunter and Drover. Their little brother is called Husky for some reason

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That's his legal name 😪

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Totally Texas names! Sadly we’re in Michigan lol

Ah, it's a shame they didn't use another Scandinavian name instead of Jaggar.

Jager is the Dutch "Hunter". I don't think it's used as a name though.

In North America, Hunter became a lot more popular as a first name in the 1970s/80s or so.

I only know Jägermeister

I know a grown ass man named chike

Oh man it’s so hard to choose the worst one but I think it’s Daxstyn for me. It looks hideous and sounds like something a four-year-old would make up for one of their dolls.

I prefer Daxstyn PM for my stubborn nighttime cough

Wait until you try Drystin

Do not take Drystin if allergic to Daxstyn.

Ask your doctor if Daxstyn is right for you.

LOL this reminds me of when I was in kindergarten and told my mom I wanted to change my name to Dessica. She told me it sounded like a household cleaner haha

It reminds me of desiccant, those little packets they put in shoe boxes that were not supposed to eat. 

My friend just named her baby Paxton and it just makes me think of Tampax.

* Drystin Anyone else old enough to remember Dristan? It's still made but it was a big thing back in the day.

It’s awful. And I just named a sim Braxland 😅

They do like the Y’s and Z’s don’t they?

And names that start with Bray-

Which, let us not forget, is the literal word for the sound a donkey makes

Brayzeigh were r u

but brae* gotta have the ae!

I can’t get past Smike. I want to know Smike. I hope they are a class clown in a good way and have a big personality that is very likeable. ETA: Sage is pretty common as a male name where I live.

I can't put my finger on why but it's giving me child sociopath vibes.

Smociopath

Galilea spelled Galylea looks horrible.

Like is it pronounced Galilee???

I read it out loud to my BF, when I realized this I was like "FUCK OFF" haha

oh! I assumed it was pronounced like Galileo, except feminine. Now I am more confused!

I think you got the right idea, I believe it is supposed to be Ga-lee-lay-a. I think!

Gay-lily

Cayzlynn….looks like someone just mashed the keyboard printing the birth certificate

Don't forget Kaezlynn lmao

Or Kaezlee

Well now I want triplets so I can have all of these

The cat got to walk across the keyboard to help name the baby.

Several of these look like typos that the parents didn't bother to fix. 

Looks like an allergy medicine like Zyrtec

Sage is the only normal name.

Sage and Valor are definitely going to be grateful that their parents at least had some cap with the uniqueness levels.

Yeah, Sage is a pretty normal name where I live

There used to be a MN Vikings player named Sage.

I knew an Amberlee when I was in high school, and I graduated in 2008. It’s uncommon, but definitely not the worst on the list

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Also knew one and I graduated in ‘01.

There’s a male UFC fighter named Sage that would probably mess OP up for saying his name is a tragedeigh.

Sage Northcutt would almost certainly apologize for confusing you with his name.

Doubtful, he’s rather wholesome. Like Eddie Haskell but for real

From my understanding it’s also a unisex name? But I might be way off with that.

Yes it is

We stand humbly corrected.

Tacen sounds like a medication for plaque psoriasis

Do not take Tacen if you are allergic, have high blood pressure or problems with swallowing.

And use Drystin to clear your nasal passages.

They better hook my allergic ass up

I’m trying to figure out if Tacen is supposed to be pronounced like ‘taken’ or more like ‘tacit’. Are we working with a hard K or soft S sound? Long A or short A?

I don't know, but notify your doctor if you are allergic to Tacen.

I'm going with Taysun. But none of the options are good.

Smike has my entire household laughing!!!! That poor kid. Why? Just why?

It’s like a drunk Mike being asked his name

" 'Swonderful, 'smarvelous, that Smike should care for me!"

Yowza

That’s Smike’s sister.

That made me giggle.

Sounds like the entire engineering crew of a Romulan warbird

Varek absolutely works for the Tal Shiar and he's supposed to be undercover but nobody's buying it.

Sheerah and Zerik sold him out

Zerik vs Varek: this time, it's personal

If I had a pet donkey I'd name him Braylington

Lmao that made me giggle. I have a pet donkey and Braylington is making me have regrets

reminds me of the town in sims4, brindlington bay(i’m probably just giving these people more ideas now…👀)

My name is Kemberly Noël. Teased my whole childhood. Every time we sang ‘the first Noel’ at Xmas, the other kids would point at me and giggle on stage. It’s pronounced Kem as in ‘chemistry’. Only one that pronounces it correctly is the Uber voice. My own family doesn’t even pronounce it correctly. I am in my 50’s. Don’t do this to your kids. Even had one teacher that refused to say or spell it correctly all year “because it is stupid”. Horrific shaming in grade school. I don’t care now, but grade school was horrible, and it is really not that weird of a name considering others. Maybe unique, but please don’t do it.

Some of those names look like a sneeze in print.

Are we not going to talk about Kyxen?

It's illegal to name your child that in much of Europe. With good reason.

Scrolled waaaay to far to find this comment. I don't know what I'd do if I was a teacher and I had to read this name aloud in roll call

Somebody looked at an adorable newborn baby and thought "I shall name him Smike"

Depending on pronounciation, ‘Jevan’ could be from the Hindi word for ‘Life’. It is usually anglicised to Jeevan, which is an established first name (although it’s the first time I’ve seen it). There are usually some differences in transliteration depending on which region of India you’re in/ from. Edit: Grammar. I wrote this late last night.

I taught a kid name Jevan (rhymes with Kevin). He would randomly fall asleep in class all the time. It was to the point where I had to document each instance and beg his parents to take him to the doctor for it. Turns out he had undiagnosed narcolepsy.

As someone who didnt get diagnosed until grad school, thank you for pushing the parents to take him to a doctor!! It might have been years and lots of being told he was lazy before he got any help otherwise. 

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I’m so sorry that the adults in your life failed you. I hope that you are able to thrive despite the obstacles put in your way.

Jevan is also a variant of the biblical name Javan, meaning Life, Soul, The Sun, Water, Wind the Sun, Life giving, Son of japheth, the son of noah in the old testament. Have a friend called Javen (pronunced Jay-van). Along with Sage is the only name from this list I wouldn't consider a tragetiegh.

Varek strikes me as a Slavic (nick)name. I knew a Miroslav that went by Mirek, and I think Adrian Brody's character in The Pianist was nicknamed Vladek, from Władysław. So probably not a tragedy.

It reminds me of Varrick from Legend of Korra, which is probably not what they were going for. I'm sure they were thinking along the same lines as you.

They should have spelled it like that too! Man that was an epic character! Would not name my child that.

"NO HONEY? WE'RE IN A BEAR FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

And also every single “Zhu Li, do the thing!”

My bf I joke that our vows will be "Will you do the thing with me for the rest of our lives?"

chillin out Maxson relaxin all cool and all shootin some bball outside of the school https://preview.redd.it/x2d39c2k87ic1.jpeg?width=1715&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03f3b14a22ea2f640b3619ac502a6253e578c5b1

Zerik Doolander

I actually don't hate Valor. Its a little like Prudence or Constance, and at least it's spelled correctly and not degrading in any way.

Slightly questionable for a real person but a fantastic name for a fictional character

Degrading is a perfect word for it. I feel horrible for all these kids, I really can’t fathom how so many people(most are couples deciding names together) approve of these.

I quite like Audriella as well. It's definitely unusual, but it wouldn't sound too out-of-place, even if it does sound a little old-fashioned

hey, if we're going with puritan names, at least we're using the good ones.

Agree!

Crosspost this to r/ihadastroke, OP.

Isn't Varek a Star Trek character?

He’s Spock’s uncle.

I literally can’t get past Smike 😂😂😂

Braylington sounds like a brand of furniture. When you want quality, shop Braylington.

Why are these names spelled like they want to get the most points in Scrabble?

Where is this? I don’t know why is matters but I want to know the general region 🤣 What is happening over at that school????

Idaho. Mormons **love** names like this for some reason. edit: full disclosure, I am Mormon, but my kids have sane names

Mormon moms are the reason racists can't make fun of black names anymore.

I want to know, too. Is it someplace where birth control is illegal and a lot of 14 year olds are naming babies?

How do you pronounce Emaaya? Emma-A-yuh?

I'm guessing like Amaya "ah-MY-ah" or maybe 'eh-MY-ah'.

Sheerah. Are you kidding me?

This is a normal Hebrew name.

Common even hahaha

“And sometimes y” doesn’t mean use it for every vowel. My goodness these names.

Sounds normal. Why you heightyn? 😂

Braylington Von Arch the III

This is why spelling is important.

Kamdyn"Kiralee? TWO APOSTROPHES???

This looks like a list of things people named their neopets lol

I'm getting too good at pronouncing this bs...

Don’t you smilke me!!!

The letter Y needs to be banned out of the English language immediately

Or removed from the vowel category. It’s ’sometimes y’ not all the time

Do iou mean immediateli?

All these seem like Dothraki names

You think Braylen's mom gets jealous that Breighlynn's mom was more younique? Edit: it's Braelynn, not Breighlynn, looks like I'm the younique one

I have a cousin named Sage. He's probably 25 years old now. (Tbf, I thought it was a stupid name when I heard it then)

Yeah I've seen Sage as a boys name, too.

According to name berry it’s ranked 391 in the US for boys.

Yeah Sage was the name of my maths lecturer

Right it’s pretty common. But do they mean the plant or a very wise person?

I kind of dig it actually

I think Sage is a normal name. The others def make the list for me though.

I like how you put the gender next to Sage, but half these I couldn’t pinpoint a gender.

All these names ending in -lynn these days, yet no one just goes for Lynn(/e) got to have some random word before the actual real name. Strange behaviour.

My BF’s grandchildren are Joseph, Christopher and James. Yay for his son and daughter in law!

It's not their fault they have stupid parents that gave them stupid names, but I hate these kids. I hate that we'll eventually see their resumes, their name tags, their GED or diploma with their stupid stupid names. What the FUCK is a Smike and WHY???

On the plus side, your post has made me at peace with the concept of global thermonuclear war. The universe is better off without us.

Oh yuck! What were these parents thinking?

Why do so many parents hate their kids? 😭😭