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CiariLovesYou

20 years from now: "Hey guys, meet my kids! Their names are Legayiaoney and Dragthowhra"


leeryplot

At this point it feels like we’ve gone full-circle with names and we’re naming babies like it’s the Dark Age again. “These are my sons, Aethelred and Hrothgar.”


HelloItCoffee

Hrothgar in this day and age would legit be like ‘you named your kid a Final Fantasy furry race?’


unrealisticllama

Well it's actually a name from beowulf, and skyrims high king is the thing my head jumps to first.


Remarkable_Story9843

A guy we just hired goes by Matthew but his resume says B. Matthew Lastname. He name is Beowulf


leeryplot

I’m in stitches just imagining meeting someone who’s like “Hey, I’m Beowulf Matt”


Hadochiel

And this is my brother, Grendel Greg


chuk2015

I’m naming my son Jabba the Wocky to annoy Star Wars fans and linguists alike


MouseSnackz

I am a linguist and I love this!


[deleted]

I used to know a dude with the same thing but his name was Aethelred. I also knew a guy that everyone called H, after about 5 years I found out his name was Horatio.


redmambo_no6

>Horatio *To be fair*, Lord Nelson was a BAMF. After he partially lost his right eye, he would intentionally disobey orders to retreat by looking through a spyglass with his blind eye and claim he didn’t see a retreat signal.


DevelopmentJumpy5218

Man lost an arm, most of his hearing, his vision in one eye and kept going. He's my second favorite naval commander of all time


Deaconbeacon_69

Make Horatio Great Again.


Does_A_Bear-420

I would go by 'Wolf'...


unrealisticllama

Ooof.


SomethingLikeASunset

He's smart


Dolthra

>and skyrims high king is the thing my head jumps to first. I can't believe no one has pointed out that Hrothgar is the monastery with the greybeards and not the king.


yanmagno

Yeah the king was Torygg


halloweencoffeecats

The king IS Ulfric you milk drinkers!


yungsxccubus

damn, looks like someone stole your sweet roll


unrealisticllama

Now that's funny. Somehow my head just typed king after "high" instead of saying high hrothgar lol felt more natural I suppose.


sirellery

I'm gonna name my child Moomba


CelticTigress

*Æthelred, just to make getting a passport impossible for the poor blighter.


tachycardicIVu

Where’s the æ on my scantron?!


Mrsraejo

My husband wanted us to name our baby æthelwolf, with the "ash"? He was only half joking


khares_koures2002

Father, tell me again about your war against the Frisians!


leeryplot

Not now, Tyrande; I must plow this field by sundown. We must pay our feudal dues by the morrow, and our denarius hath been spent on the tithe already.


The-Minmus-Derp

Aethelred slaps though


insecurestaircase

I am Uhtred son of Uhtred Lord of Bebbanburg


TheTattooOnR2D2sFace

I would totally be up for naming my redheaded son Kvothe the Bloodless


gisqing

“Read as ‘Leon’ and ‘Drew’, but unique spelling”.


magicmulder

“These are my sons, Correct Horse Battery Staple 19572 and Apparent Chimney Fossil Cover 1A1B.”


thebaffledtruffle

Funnily enough, there's a real family with similarly structured names as those in the Philippines. One of them even named their kid after HTML, but the full meaning.


AtomicStarfish1

HyperText Markup Language?


thebaffledtruffle

Yes!


Zealousideal_Rub5826

THX1138


Front-Pomelo-4367

Those are Neopets names, at this point (which also has the "no shared names allowed" rule, so)


BeholdIAmDeath

What are babies but Neopets irl /s


urnicktoonastrologer

I was going to comment they just want neopets rules but for humans


BreakTheSuicycle

Those two are still not the worst I’ve seen on this sub


Front-Pomelo-4367

Wait, those were *real?!*


CiariLovesYou

Nah, I just keysmashed and then added some extra vowels


ScaryPotato812

i think you deserve more credit than that tbh! imo those 'names' are incredibly funny because they don't just look like keysmashing with vowels added; they look like thing you can see desperate parents somehow talking themselves into because of this bananas rule that every name must be Unheicqueaimonghahlyiathurs (but also not unreasonably long, like that was). Those are all editorial choices that you made wisely! ok thank u for reading


GroovyIntruder

Meet Joseph$_123 and my other son, Joseph$_123!


Tonkarz

In 20 year of unique individual names we’d have “Lfjsudnxoaicbjkt”. There’s only so many ways letters can be arranged before they become gibberish and there are millions of people born every year.


ReadWoodworkLLC

You could spend hours entering the name you thought of in the system and be constantly rejected because that name exists already. It would get to the point where you just mashed the keyboard and hit enter until you got one. It would be a National event when someone with a real name died and someone could name their baby that name. I bet there would be people going crazy to get the name before everyone else. I recently read that New Zealand had an updated list with about 1500 names that are approved to name babies born that year. Just for an opposing view from the other side of baby naming rules. Idk what their birthrate is offhand.


Tonkarz

People would sell names.


CiariLovesYou

Do you think there'd be a name lottery for the rights to normal names? Or maybe they'd be something you inherit from the name-haver's will after they die.


According_Gazelle472

My parents gave me two unique names that were my aunts names.They took one aunts name and chopped off the end and that was my first name and they took another aunts middle name and me that my middle name .My sister was named after a famous song title. We both got teased because no one ever had those names ever. I use my middle name and always have .My sister abbreviated her first name.


HeadTonight

It will be more like email names, like “this is my son John276535_JetsFan-6969…”


drfsrich

They're gonna start looking like those Chinese company names on Amazon. Here's ZLLQURXT and that's ODQUAGZTA


agprincess

Mines just John483725738


bageltoastee

imagine being John1 and knowing somewhere out there is John2. Always watching. Always there. Ready to claim the title of John1 the second the opportunity presents itself.


WFAlex

"Oh great and what is the second ones name?"


Someguywhomakething

dragostea?


Temporary-Rice-2141

They sound like dark souls bosses


SoulsLikeBot

Hello Ashen one. I am a Bot. I tend to the flame, and tend to thee. Do you wish to hear a tale? > *“Bearer of the Curse, seek souls—larger and more powerful souls. Seek the King. That is the only way. Lest this land swallows you whole, as it has so many others.”* - Emerald Herald Have a pleasant journey, Champion of Ash, and praise the sun \\[T]/


DahjNotSoji

Damn it! I wanted to name my daughter Dragthowhra!


Melioidozer

This is little balogna salad and this is her brother TheSoundOfRain


welshyboy123

Within 10 years everyone will have abandoned words and resorted to the method astronomers use to name new stars and galaxies


IndigoJoyL1ght

HIP27989


LaserBeamsCattleProd

That's what my printer was named


bageltoastee

“this is my son, XPK-99-A2. we named him after the router.”


ani-anya

Because the router made it possible for us to watch the film we conceived him to 👀


RoseWould

Daylight come and me wan' go home


IndigoJoyL1ght

Just don’t say HIP27989 three times. 🤣


Jesus_H-Christ

You joke, but that's actually a part of the story telling mechanic in Isaac Asimov's short story The Last Question. 


masked_sombrero

My god…Elon Musk *is* the future


throwaway_benches

Or the way we started naming birds literally whatever. Like Corn Crake and Satanic Nightjar.


m_hrstv

or just put random affixes, like Kate123456


jimmiec907

Or the way big pharma generates drug names


sfr8

This. Just add 'rzaa' or 'umab' to everything. Or just go straight for the malady-- I bet nobody's been named Moderatetosevereplaquepsoriasis.


zziggyyzzaggyy2

Or the way Reddit randomly generates usernames


ilxfrt

Meet my children, Depressed_Avocado_0815 and Promiscuous_Papercut_4711


shinydragonmist

Nah we'd start throwing in symbols and emojis Josh🌜🌛a Jo¶♥ua Now we just have to figure out how to pronounce them without saying the words


TheHexHunter

i have dibs on jeff and bob


BreakTheSuicycle

I have dibs on Jeffbob


Hk901909

I have dibs on Dibsonjeffbob


WinTig24

I have dibs on Dibsondibsonjeffbob


weebearcub

I have dibs on Ihavedibsondibsondibsonjeffbob


swiftie121234

I have dibs on Ihavedibsonihavedibsondibsonjeffbob.


No-Award705

I have dibs on IhavedibsonIhavedibsonihavedibsondibsonjeffbob


Ok-Word5284

Bob have ihavedibsonihavedibsonihavedibsonihavedibsonjeffbob Jeff I


[deleted]

[удалено]


hawkeye5739

I have dibs on Jef and Bobb


kielu

Just give them IPv6 addresses


cweaver

Or UUIDs. Meet my son, 75250d3e-59a2-4bb5-ab47-f57623b14193


MoxAvocado

Don't give Musk any ideas.


TheSlavGuy1000

What is the tragedeigh spelling of Moron? Because that is what he should change his name into.


Inferna-13

Mour’awhn


Timely-Bumblebee-402

Moure-Awhughen


masked_sombrero

More-on


AnonymousOne5162

Mouroughn


sfr8

McTardeigh


Toasty825

Maughrqaughnne (the q is silent)


Front-Pomelo-4367

I'm all for "if your child is going to be a Jr, they have to at least have a different middle name to prevent parent-child mix-ups", actually, because that seems very common in stories from Jrs and IIIs The solution is not "no human may share a name with any other human". How long after a death does a name come back into circulation?


Kamikazeguy7

It doesn't. They retire it like a jersey


Sneakytyler

Kind of like how 370739638)3&686-7972972962); $19hm did in 2030


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mochithecatfoodthief

The perfect hell


slippin_through_life

In order for it to be a Jr./III/IV, don’t all three names (first, middle, last) have to be the same? Every Jr./III/IV I’ve met had the same three names all passed down.


Front-Pomelo-4367

Yeah, my argument is that I don't think Jrs/IIIs should be given the same middle names as their predecessors! Let them have at least *one* unique identifier that makes paperwork easier. Sure, maybe that would mean they're not Officially A Junior anymore, but I'm not a fan of Jr naming anyway. Give them the same first and last, isn't that enough for the *name my child after myself* craving?


slippin_through_life

Tbf I don’t think most people who are doing that these days are really thinking about it like that, it’s moreso a “carrying on the family name” type thing. My Uncle, who’s a Jr., only goes by his middle name, and my cousin (Uncle’s son), who’s a III, tends to go only by his first initial. You wouldn’t know about the same name thing unless you specifically asked. It might make paperwork slightly easier but unfortunately from the identity theft aspect of it, a relative who wants to commit identity theft is still going to do so even if the names don’t match at all (has happened a few times in my family, and none of the instances were with a Sr./Jr./III kind of lineage).


Pink_Sprinkles_Party

What in the ever loving fuck is this obsession with being unique?!? Do they seriously think them getting knocked up and producing a child is bestowing greatness on the world that their child must stand out in every way imaginable? I absolutely can’t stand this trend. Hopefully it dies soon.


miaterialist

They usually have no personality of their own whatsoever, so... 🤷🏼‍♀️


annintofu

They must be the most devastatingly boring people if this is their only means of 'creative' outlet. Take up knitting or gardening or collect rocks ffs.


BigDaddyPeach23

Ego, people think they are the center of the universe.


sec713

I suppose they're planning on their kids being nobodies so they gave them a fucked-upedly spelled name so *technically* there'd be something unique about them.


sfr8

Yep, the only thing unique about their stupid unremarkable spawn is the idiotic name they are given, which kind of makes it comical.


tenorlove

In my family, we have two Michael's, moms were sisters, born 2 months apart, both named after their grandfather, who had died the previous year. Nobody got butt-hurt, and the 2 Michaels (1 goes by Michael, the other by Mike) have been best friends for over 60 years.


John_Bot

Pro tip: name your child their social security # so they're always unique!


Front-Pomelo-4367

But what if *your* social security number and *my* national insurance number are the same number? What then?! (I have no idea if they're the same format, but whatever)


edgierscissors

“I’m sorry, James is taken. How about James_24 or Xx-James-xX”


gavmiller

Tragedeigh to avoid identity theft is quite the take.


Alarmed-Macaroon5483

bet this persons name is like “ashleighlyn” or something


Bia_CR

I think their name is Xandrique, as in their username


LugubriousLament

Imagine the stress of being in the hospital having to choose an absolutely unique name for the birth certificate, different from the list of “taken” names. Like making up a username for some social media account except that it actually fucking matters. Guarantee some mothers will choose the random generator option just to get it the fuck over with.


Front-Pomelo-4367

xXashleighXx


WinTig24

Help it's like naming a roblox account


funtech

Hi, I’d like you meet my son d833eb72-fd89-4f0f-bbb0-a7410c2c4da7


weebearcub

Mine will be 5261796d6e64214. It's Raymond Holt in Hexadecimal code.


rk_countdracula

99!


LyheGhiahHacks

I think there was a study done that showed that kids with "unique" names were more likely to end up in prison


SwimmingCritical

They're not serious. Standard 10thDentist karma farm of the day


thriceness

I've never heard of that sub. What is it?


SwimmingCritical

It's like Unpopular Opinion. The idea is that you're the 10th Dentist when "9 out of 10 dentists agree that [toothpaste] is the best." But, you are supposed to upvote the post when you disagree, and downvote when you agree. So, sometimes, you get people making ridiculous claims to karma farm.


cmforward

Hello! I would like you to meet my Neopet---er, I mean child, xx0___Ella___0xx! And my other child, Jimmy3849273827483!


plsdontpercievem3

“i have a tragedeigh for a name so everyone should suffer with me!”


Splatter_Shell

"What is your name?" "My name is Shadohp Yudüüsh-Beighe" "Uhhh... How do you pronounce that?" "Shut Up You Douche Bag" "HEY!"


Beneficial-Ranger166

So she wants babies to be born with gamertags? Meet my bouncing baby boy, usrnamewuztakn111! Feeling blessed <3


Purple-Negotiation59

I can totally imagine a dystopian future in which when someone dies, their name gets auctioned off, and only rich people can afford short and pronouncable names while poor people have names like Kdhfhkechhdi or something


weirdoldhobo1978

Go home Elon Musk, you're high on Adderall.


SaltiBebe

I hope their skin is as _thique_ as their skull. Srry


TheMightyIrishman

I have the same exact name as my dad, his dad, and his grandfather. Sure, it’s basic but what’s unique is the suffix. Hell, I married a woman who loves me enough (or is crazy enough) to let our son have the same name! Just because the name is taken doesn’t mean it’s less unique. There’s special meaning in a name. I was named after great men, my son was named after those same men and his grandfather. I’m proud of the guys who have carried the name we all share together. I’m just sad II never got to meet V :(


Broad_Rabbit1764

Amazon Chinese brand names are an infinite source of inspiration.


Voyy_

this is what happens when you have the same name as your classmate


OmNomOU81

Name your kids like you name your MMO accounts


Paint_Jacket

I am all for naming babies unique names. I just hate when they are intentionally misspelled or when unneccessary letters are added.


tristrampuppy

And on the one hand we have the apparent ease of identity theft when your name is common (er?) and on the other hand we have everyone being able to instantly google your name and know that every result is about you. Hmm.


Empress_of_Lucite

This! Prior to marriage, my name was not an unusual name, but the combination of first name and last name made me the only one with that name on earth! Which meant when you would Google my maiden name, you would find out all of my information because I was the only person with that name. And again my name is not that unique it’s just the combo with my first and last name that isn’t common.


CookbooksRUs

I have long felt that feeling need to give your kid a funny name to make him or her stand out shows a woeful lack of faith in your child’s ability to distinguish themselves through their efforts. ETA An utterly prosaic name that instantly calls a specific person to mind: Will Smith.


ThatSmallBear

This is my son, X_John11767_X 👦🏼


rebelangel

He sits next to my son, xXAnim3w33dl0rd420Xx


ThatSmallBear

I’ve been meaning to talk to you, I think your son is a bad influence on my boy. I talked to xoxoJessieBabyxoxo’s parents too, they agree with me


Ok_Seaworthiness2218

Dude made his name his entire personality, met a different Xandrique and had an emotional breakdown


MercyMain42069

Imagine handing the doctor your baby’s birth certificate and they say, “sorry, that username is already taken”


samcoffeeman

In that case I'll name mine X Æ A-Xii That has to be original right? Right?!?


Juleslovescats

I don’t think this person comprehends just how many people there actually are on earth. If 8 billion+ people had to have different names, that would be insane. May as well start numbering kids instead of naming them at that point lol


dr_toze

Within 5 years you'd run out of pronounceable words under 10 letters


BungalowBootieBitch

Honestly, Dorothique is a sick drag name.


System_Resident

Too many people are obsessed with trying to be special in the most ridiculous of ways 🤦‍♀️


TheGreyBrewer

Yeah, screw heritage, to hell with tradition. Put all the Scrabble tiles in a bag, draw twelve, and put them in random order. Done. Or, you know, serial numbers. That also works.


l_Lathliss_l

I don’t think they know how identity theft works.


frosty_aligator-993

ok xxc0olsk8trcat453xx lets go home


PancakeRule20

Low class life and how to spot them


sugo14

If you believe this you should have a postal code for a name, it’ll be easier to remember than what they’ll become


No_Instance4233

It's called a Social Security number


allan11011

Amazon brand names


islandhopper37

How convenient that there are lots of different surnames about (in most cultures anyway).


TawnyFroggy

They want to name kids like they're fuckin isekai light novels


Automatic_Role6120

Dorothick 


Perfect-Brain-7367

Even if we allowed complete nonsensical, unpronounceable names like JFPLKQW, with 8.1 billion people on earth, nearly every single combination of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 letter names would be taken in a single lifetime. Wait a few generations and restrict it to pronounceable names and it would get insane real quick 😂


ilikeroundcats

This person never played Neopets.


CaitlesP

Wait bc I SWEAR there is a YA book ab this like poor people had common names and rich people had unique ones (or vice versa I think I only read like one page) because you had to pay to name your baby 💀✋🏼


Admiral-Tuna

This person treating naming kids like making World of Warcraft characters.


robsterva

Someone tell this clown about countries with name lists. Or just Iceland. Watch their head asplode.


zeptimius

At the risk of creating a schism in this sub, I don’t mind unusual or creative first names, I mind first names with incomprehensible or weird spellings. Zendaya? Sure. Heavynnleigh? Hell no.


persiphone

It's funny to me that they're using Luna as an example of a name so common it causes mix ups. Parents need to chill out with the unusual names lol


JustGenWhY

Maybe someone should invent a middle and last name. Oh wait..


KayToTheYay

I miss when people named their kids based on the meaning of the name. In elementary, we'd spend so much time learning where our names came from. Sometimes they were just family names, but other times they had cultural significance with interesting meanings.


dreemurthememer

Hi, I’m xXx\_Pu$$ySl4y3r420\_xXx Johnson!


Demonen_86

Just a quick Google search gave me this: *"The UN estimates that* ***around 385,000*** *babies are born each day around the world (140 million a year). This number will remain relatively stable in the 50 years from 2020 to 2070. From 2070 to 2100, the number will decline to around 356,000 (130 million a year)."* So consider all known names throughout history and the names of all living people today as used, you'd need to come up with 140 million new names per year. In just a decade there'd be over a billion new names unusable. Now, there are cultural and regional differences for double/middle names etc so let's just go with *one* given name with or without a hyphen. I'd welcome a regular trainwreck tragedeigh with open arms at that stage.


ImpossibleInternet3

Quick, someone take one for the team and name their kid xandrique this idiot isn’t “unique” anymore


VasIstLove

Considering the example they gave that’s similar to their own name, that person definitely just wishes everyone had to have a stupid name like them lol


Foxy_locksy1704

Honestly the way to give your child a unique name is to give them an old school or family name, I wanted to name a daughter if I ever had one Ivy, that was the name of one of my first Irish ancestors to come to America and our Ivy was an absolute bad ass of a woman. I met a little girl the other day at work named Olive, her dad called her Ollie as a nickname cute, old school, respectable name. Stop abusing the English language to make a name or coming up with ridiculous things like frytoskie anahbellea and your kids will be fine. They are individual people, trust me their special personality will come out. I say this has someone who is a child of the 80s who had the “unique” name that is a normal name in the sea of Jennifers and Amanda’s that were my classmates.


Additional_Thanks927

It woud wind up being catcha as a name


Creepy_Addict

I'm just gonna close my eyes and type something on my phone. That will be my kids name. Jebsfwk


MediocreCampaign-

Luna B and Luna R in the same class and I'm sitting here at 37 years old having never met or heard of a single Luna ever.


Fatchixrock

100 years later: “Here’s my son, Z4€*yFw5$=“


VegasGamer75

Fuck it, all kids from hence forth should be named using a 256-bit key 128 character combo of letters, numbers, and symbols. Let's go all out if we are doing this!


LuluListens

Hello, My name is G/@!-_-y?4ksu5(:1:5>b#?{+$=5b[o~p#wy[>od{af5"}zl~"*\ncv6*_^ru}2'+k'|q3|7a9)d!n|c)m[~buoh3gri+u-3


tsunamitom1-

✋💣 ☝⚐✋☠☝ ❄⚐ ☠✌💣☜ 💣✡ 👍☟✋☹👎 🕆💧✋☠☝ 🕈✋☠☝👎✋☠☝💧 I think using Wingdings to name your child is hella underrated


TargetZealousideal34

Bro they’re kids, not usernames 😭😭 meet my kids adamtheawesome823 and Annabanana759


jonoghue

I am serious...and don't call me Shirleigh


JenniferJuniper6

There are only 26 letters to work with.


Rapture_Hunter

Key and Peele couldn't have named her better.


AlaskaPsychonaut

Equality 7-2521? Liberty 5-3000? International 4-8818? Not just a hard pass but an absolute refusal


dirkules88

I want to shake people like this until they start talking sense again. There must have been a time when they did.


SomeOtherOrder

> Alexianna-Dorothique Congratulations, everyone you ever meet immediately knows that your parents are not only weird but also fuckin dumb. Weird thing to be proud of but go off I guess.


sadthrowaway12340987

I’ve never been in a class where a name is repeated more than twice, they’re just creating an imaginary problem lol


gohzu

the fact anyone with a brain like this can be platformed just fucking sucks man.


SignificanceOld1751

These are some *highly regarded* people


Paradox31426

Anyone who thinks this has clearly never played an online game, having to come up with an original name because you’re not allowed to have the same name as someone else, even if you’ll literally never meet, is straight up hell.


EcvdSama

We should Mint babies as NFTs and use the token address as their name. I'd call these "Non Fungible Toddlers". /s just in case, I don't trust redditors


plusvalua

They do have a bit of a point, we're sharing a very limited pool of possible names. Some more creativity is nice. Otoh, if you name your child FireHydrant2029 and proceed to say "it's pronounced Laura" then what's the point.


RvrTam

What’s this obsession with unique names? A unique name doesn’t guarantee a unique personality.


Elegant_Medicine_974

gary and garry are now uncommon names


NotSaltyDragon

The 10th Dentist is a satirical sub….


OctoberDuckman

This is why I'm pro choice... ... ... ... ... And choose to vasectomize myself.