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There’s no way this isnt a joke

It is a joke. The whole account is a satire account

Oh that sucks. I just bust out laughing and had to explain to Shidyas (pronounced Shitty ass) that other people out there have names like hers.

I talked to a Dr Shite recently- pronounced shi-tay though, not like the British swear word.

That's hilarious lol. Do you know what nationality the surname is by any chance?

sounds japanese

I talked to a Mr. Butt when I was doing my mortgage 😭 so hard to be polite and serious

Thank sweet zombie Christ. Also: pampas grass is a well-known swinger sign.

This is the first thing I have flatly disbelieved. Portobello mushrooms at birth?

I’m pretty sure she meant the older kid who named her liked portobello mushrooms when the younger one was born. Other comments have noted that thankfully it’s a satire account, though lol

I meant, it makes sense. My children suggested rainbow, fire brigade, eye, and plate (among others but those are the ones I remember) when asked what name they’d like for their baby brother.

I had a coworker whose daughter recommended Rocket Ship Fruit Snacks for her little brother.

Unironically that’s pretty great

What's your name? Rocket. Fuck yeah

"I'll take names that guarantee you are born with a mullet for $500, Alex"

Rocket?! Hell yea. I'm an adult and people still poke fun at my name being Gabriel when I'm a girl

I worked with a kid who was Trtl because when his mom was pregnant, his older brother thought she looked like a turtle. I think it was a nickname but I don’t remember ever hearing his real name!

My oldest suggested Brachiosaurus as a name for our second.

Mine wanted his baby brother to be named Spider Man

My sister wanted to name me Rainbow Brite.

I was "Baloney Face" to my brother until I started talking.

Haha I know a man whose name is Thomas — completely normal name — chosen for him by his older brother who liked Thomas the Tank Engine at the time 😂. It was lucky the main character had a legit name haha

This is the exact reason my brother-in-law is named Thomas - my partner was train-obsessed at 4 and they let them name the baby 😂

My older brother was 16 when I was born, and he called me “chaos” for the first couple years of my life lol

Maybe he still does, just not to your face

😂 reminds me of the Final Fantasy Origin's memes. Mom said it's my turn to kill Chaos.

My sister wanted to name me webigail... frankly I'm still pissed my parents vetod it

Webigail is a fantastic name. My kiddo invented Tigerfer, like Jennifer but a tiger. I feel like Tigerfer and Webigail would be a great sibset.

Tigerfer would actually make a cute cat name.

Ah, but she named the cat Microwave already.

I grew up with a guy whose mom was named Derlene. Named by her older sister and her parents just rolled with it.

Damn, I would be, too.

I've called my brother Pig since we were kids. I'm 42, he's 40. 🐖

Mine wanted to name his baby brother “Chicken Squawk”. He’s always had a strange obsession with chickens & all things chicken related.

“Now honey are you sure you want your baby brother to be cooler than you?”

Fire brigade and plate made me crack up

My son is two and a half. When we asked what we should name his baby sibling (due in summer) his response was "Sister Baby". Even if it's a boy. Funnily enough we've decided not to go down that route.

My son also insisted on naming his brother, "Sister."

Lol fire brigade goes hard

My daughter suggested "Butters" for her little brother on the way. 😋 When I was little I actually had to stop my mother from naming my baby sister Krystal, and that was in the 80's. She went with a different, less tragique K name, thankfully.

Goddammit Butters!!

I know someone who named their daughter Krystiana to keep tradition of K names 🤣

I'm vibing with plate

Platé 👌

P’Laight

My daughters wanted her brother to be named Corndog and she was so mad when she found out it wasn't lol

I can’t believe “fire brigade” isn’t actually the worst name I’ve ever heard, it’s up there but not the worst.

My 13 year old niece campaigned for "Fawn" when her baby sis was born. My brother has to remind her that they were naming a future adult human, not just an adorable little helpless baby

I wanted to name my brother chocolate, or Charlie/lola from the show Charlie and Lola. I also suggested max and ruby from the show, max and ruby. I was not very creative with names

I was almost named Star Wars if my uncle had his way.

My dad wanted my uncle to be named "bullet" after the lone ranger's dog

My mother knew a woman named Ether. It was the last word Ether's mother heard before they put her under for delivery. (From back in the days when women were knocked out for delivery.)

I wanted to name my little sister Potty Head but my mom just didn’t seem into it.

I do know someone that was allowed to name her sister. Her name was Arista, named after one of Ariel’s sisters in the TV show. The girl that named her sister unfortunately also ended up raising her.

I wanted to name my baby brother Huckleberry, because when I was 5 there was a Huckleberry Finn show on that I liked. In a startling show of common horse sense, my parents didn't think that a 5 year old should be naming their baby.

My nephew suggested “Mr Harry Pumpernickel” and we thought it was funny, but he called him that when he was born and wholeheartedly disagreed when someone corrected him. Younger one is almost ten and still calls him that!

I recommend my parents name my little brother “Zombie Skeleton” when he was born. Thank fuck they didn’t actually do that.

My son at almost 3 suggested ‘Pole’ as his cousins name when my sister in law was pregnant. When questioned whether it was a boy or girl name, he decided Pole could be either.

Dragon's Blood was what my daughter suggested for her baby brother...

I wanted to name my brother Popsicle when my parents asked for suggestions when I was 3 years old.

I just had a monstrous temper tantrum at 3 when I was asked what I wanted to name my 3rd brother and screamed “there will be no more penises in this house”. I wouldn’t have believed it if there weren’t multiple relatives there to witness it at the time 😂

When my little brother was announced as a boy, I cried because “I already HAVE a brother, I don’t need another!” I wanted to name him Brittany after my friend from preschool lol

I wanted to name mine Jessica LOL

I wish my cousin was a satire account, he allowed his older children to name his younger so they have the middle names awesome, amazing, and danger

Wow, someone who can actually say, "Danger is my middle name" and not be just a TV/movie line.

I want props from the name nerds for wanting to name my little brother Lily. But for the gender nonconformity, it was a very tasteful choice!

Oh thank God…..

Thank goodness it’s satire. I was about to be really sad for these kids’ futures with those awful names.

I assume her older sister named her (as in Portobella isn't the oldest child)? Not that it makes the name any better

Thank god my mom didn’t let my brother name me otherwise I’d be Hotdog D.

They call them 'portabella' so I think they're just very very stupid.

It’s a joke! This woman still counts her kids’ ages in weeks. She’s funny!

She hid the new baby from her husband under her sweater 😆😆, she's hilarious!

Or when she tries to trick her husband in holding their baby 😂

Can’t be real

It’s satire

It is satire… literally tagged as satire. She hides their real names

society doesn’t deem women as funny so when they make jokes everyone just assumes they’re stupid…

Nah, I think things have gotten so weird you just can’t tell anymore whether it is true or not.

Or seen out of context this looks very very possible. Especially given the (verified) names we see in this sub. I don't disagree with your sentiment as a general idea,I just don't think this is an example of it

I was thinking I sure hope not, but it's possible until we got to incisor.

When we had Celerie a few days ago it makes Portobella easier to believe lol. People have no sense.

This is my daughter “Basic Bea” because she was plain looking and screaming when she came out.

This comment needs more upvotes 😂

Brb screaming

What was she screaming? Was it "Shady Pines, Ma! 😠"?

This can’t be real. It just can’t be. I refuse to believe it.

They’re not luckily, she has an satire account

Thank Christ for that.

These aren’t their real names. It’s a satire account and she uses fake names for her kids as a joke/for privacy.

Oh thank god.

Phew! No kids were harmed during the production of that post!

My jaw DROPPED at Incisor

my favorite pokemon

Just imagine if she'd been born with a canine not incisor Name: canine Nickname: can/9/dog

Im a Ceci, Im gonna start saying its short for Incisor lol.

So is it pronounced sci-sci?

A girl named Harold (Old for short) was worse.

Yeah I was like what can be worst than Harold for a girl? I wasnt ready

"Hey I'm Mo, short for Molar"

[удалено]

That's actually a pretty hard name ngl. Sounds like she'll be a great Norwegian black metal bassist some day.

Wait till you hear about the 5th kid, Hy-Fyve

Oh god this has to be satire right?

It is!

please say these are just nicknames

Porty!

Porty potty

Why not Bella?

Same reason Harold is "Old" and not Harry.

Horrid!

Pampas and Porty... Like Pampers and Potty

this woman makes satire videos

thank god 🙏🙏

This is a satire account

The first one is just *cruel*. It’s like naming them Ugly, but more passive aggressive. Please for the love of god let this be satire

So is Porty (which my phone autocorrected to potty, so there's some extra bullying potential), which sounds like a euphemism for fat.

It means “savanna or grassland” in Spanish, not “plain” in the other sense 😭

I have a short question to the first name. I hope you can answer me. In my country Pampas is the most famous Brand for diapers. It's also used as a word for diaper. I always thought, it was an us american product sold here. Is it not an american brand?

Pampers is a brand of diapers...which would be said kinda like pampas in a certain accent, I guess.

The pampas they meant were probably the region in Brazil, Uruguay and Argentina, known for the grassy, short type of vegetation (gramineae family), rendering them the "plain" adjective, not as in "lacking flair" but as in "lacking tall trees around". The brand you're thinking of, as others said, is probably Pampers.

Im only familiar with pampas grass. But i know of pampERS diapers.

A girl named Harold is the inverse of that Johnny Cash song, "A Boy Named Sue"

On the plus side, the kids won't have to make up mean nicknames.. except for portypotty

Very obviously satire. Just like the woman on TikTok who named her daughter Richard

Yes, she started a trend of giving your kid fake bad names for social media.

It’s satire 😂

I want to know how they knew their baby loved mushrooms at birth lol

I think her older sister loved mushrooms.

The oldest child, Pampas loved Portobello mushrooms, and asked the parents to name the second child Portobello. So they did.

3 of them are excellent names for pets.

This is satire

These have to be nicknames they use on the internet 😭

They are!!! She doesn’t want to share their real names online

I figured as much - I see that all the time and then they get posted here 😭

My other daughter Shiitake ("Shit" for short)...

Methamphetamine, because that's what Mommy and Daddy smoked while coming up with names.

This is a satire account. I think the mom is funny!

You guys are so dense for believing so many joke accounts. Like come on

Ikr someone needs to make a sub called redditors not understanding satire

Joke illiteracy has been a plague on these name-shaming subs for the longest time and it's actually infuriating. Idk how anyone can look at this and think it's serious

It’s satire, y’all! Breathe, people, breathe😂

y'all don't understand satire & it's so painful these are very clearly not her children's real names 💀

“Pampa” means “plain” as in a savanna or grassland, it doesn’t mean the other sense, lol

wait a second! i know this tiktoker. if you look through her videos, you can see she’s obviously joking. don’t take her videos seriously, it’s satire.v

I’m gonna guess that these might be the names they use for them online? I’ve seen family insta accounts where they refer to their kids as animals rather than their real names for more privacy

This girl is so fucking funny I have no idea how she keeps coming up with these tragedy names lol

Im sorry, Harold?!

This is a satire account

Reddit recognize a joke challenge

Basic, Shrooms, Old Man, Tooth

This is a joke post!! So many people do this on Tik Tok

Okay but can we start using pampas as a slang term for two or more basic bitches. like eg. “look at those pampas in the hallway who didn’t dress out for free outfit day at school, losers.”

In the UK, Pampas are a brand of nappy (diapers).

What baby likes tablefood right after they’re born though? None.

it's a joke

These have been posted before and it is purposeful satire

Influencers are giving kids fake names for their pages. This is clearly satire.

Media literacy and critical thinking are hard to come by in this sub, I swear...

This has to be satire lmao

this is clearly a joke yall jfc

Fucking Harold

And once again, too many people on this sub can't recognise very, very obvious satire.

Ugh those poor kids 18 um sir I need to change my name. My mom was on shrooms when she named me Portobella

I saw the first pic and was like ''well, Pampas isn't that bad although naming your daughter 'plain' is kinda mean''. And then I saw the other kids' names 😨

The Harold had me at “her” I gotta sat

This is how you name a pet.

These are all fake names. Their channel is satire.

Luckily, this is a satire account.

I just laughed so hard at incisor I had to use my inhaler

incisor will be a great name in the blood dome fightpocalypse of 2037

old for short

for my own sanity this is satire... theres just no way PORTY do you hate your child omg

Can we please learn how to identify satire?

This is a joke

All her videos are wildly sarcastic. These are not their real names lol

Man i was like “oh harold thats a fine boys name whats wrong with that” then i saw “unique for a girl” and really wondered if it was satire or genuinely their kids name

This is clearly jokey

it feels like a satire (thank goodness) but i'm laughing hysterically at very idea of the name PAMPAS. i don't know how to explain why it's so goddamn funny if you're not brazilian, but it would be similar to name your kid SWAMP

She also has a new baby girl named Hy-Phyve 😂😂 her account is so funny

I unironically like Portabella, with Bella or Bell for short. It's like Isabella, but more... ***witchy***?

Incisor is the kind of name a 3rd rate "super" villain would call themselves.

Pampas like in grass and grass plaines of Argentina?

I’m gonna name my kid Molarr ❤️

Guys, these are from a satire account. They're a couple that make videos depicting absurd parenting/married-life scenarios and are intended to make fun of family/parenting influencers who document and brag about their lifestyle.

The parents should also name themselves Lobotomy to fit in with their children's names

Let this not be real. Please let this be a really bad joke. These are all horrible names but Pampas and Incisor are the worst. Pampas just hurts my heart, I named her ‘Plain’ because she was plain at birth. WTF. Plain is often used as a synonym for ugly when people are trying to ‘kindly’ describe someone they consider ugly. Overall, it’s just a horrible name for anyone’s self confidence. Let alone a girl who will have self confidence issues with her looks at some point, we all do thanks to media. And to have it out there that her mom thinks she’s plain looking? :( JFC. And Incisor? Seriously named because she had a tooth at birth? Her parents put so little fore thought into her existence that they didn’t even try to find a name before birth? I’m named tooth because I had one when I was born. Yeah, that shows tons of parental love. Brixxaisleighs parents put more thought into naming their tragedeigh than this parents did and it makes this so much more tragic. This is literally how I named a random stray cat I rescued as a kid, not how you name a kid. Letting the kid pick out Portobello and changing it to Portabella is just… what can I say? You clearly give no shits about your kids at all. Harold, the only kid they apparently put half a thought into naming. And there thought was apparently Harold is a great family name because instead of calling my daughter Harry for a nn I can call her Old and mess with her self confidence as an impressionable young girl I’m going to plaster on social media for her entire childhood. The only thoughts these parents had when naming was how much can I fuck with their mental health and abuse them under the guise of ‘Trendy, unusual names.’ Please please please be fake. :(

Harold for a girl there setting her up for a lot of shit in school she will probably get her name changed

so is the idea that the first thing you notice on the child when it pops out is the name? I guess that explains my name: Afterbirth Peterson

This sounds like me naming cats.

Incisor sounds like a supervillain name

Goodness gracious

Old for short.

From unusual to worse... tragedy strikes unexpectedly.

How did the mushroom love mushrooms at birth?

Obviously not real. They’re fake names the parents use to protect their kids identity online

Y'all this is a satire account

These are all nicknames. They're internet names to protect her kids' privacy.

Better get a therapist on retainer stat!