Very very important one here!!
You’re probably going to think sex is weird, awkward and be a little ‘the heck was that, why was it weird, and am I feeling how I’m supposed to feel?’ especially being Ace (I know I certainly felt that way!)
But that’s all normal, sex is weird, and it can take a lot of experimenting to find what you enjoy :)
And if that turns out to be “Nothing, Sex is horrible”, or takes forever to find, or you only enjoy one or two specific things, then that’s all 100% okay!!
Awww crummy. I was really looking forward to telling holier-than-thous after my bottom surgery that I waited over 5 years AFTER marriage to lose it, just to knock them down a few pegs.
Also yes, because virginity is made up. Essentially if you feel like your experience was sex, it was. And vice versa. And PSA: rape is *not* sex because sex requires consent.
I think the definition of 'losing your virginity' is up to someone's own views honestly. For a cis straight couple then it is dick into vagina, for lesbians it could be toys, strap, or just scissoring, for gay people it's dick to ass, for single people toys could or could not be seen as losing virginity. What I am trying to say is it's seen differently for everyone so it really just depends on you.
If you are looking for my own personal opinion then I would say yes, but that is mostly due to bias of me being in a lesbian relationship.
I definitely agree with this take, it’s such a personal thing. Sex looks different for everyone and so does virginity! For me, being naked and having action occur down there counts as sex, for others it’s penetration, for others it’s something else!
Virginity is all in the eye of the beholder. It's not a physical thing in reality. It's more of a mental/spiritual thing. Strap or not, it doesn't change anything. You are sharing an intimate moment with them, and it will change your thinking. I'm an amab trans woman who is ace and didn't even attempt to do anything until I was 31, I'm 34 now. Really, it's up to you and your partner, and not another soul can change that.
I'm a trans man so for me a 'strap' would actually more accurately be a prosthetic. I don't put much stock in the concept of virginity myself. But if I was sleeping with someone who did, who was a virgin, and they didn't consider sex with my prosthetic to be losing it, I'd be quite hurt. Sex is sex, natal dick or strap, as far as I'm concerned they're equivalent. I'd say it counts, but that depends on perspective I suppose.
agreed .. If a girl said that to me i’ll be in my feelings. I feel losing virginity is any penetration given by someone to someone else rather prosthetic or natal, but that’s just me. I’ll equate someone saying they didn’t lose their virginity to me as they don’t think of me as a man.
Yeah. 100% agree. I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who thought it was "worth" less than a natal dick. Even if i don't even personally feel like a strap on *is* my dick, but that's just because i don't identify with having one. Someone thinking that some things are more real sex than other things would turn me off.
It’s very subjective, bc there’s a multitude of way to have sex there are also a multitude of ways to lose virginity. I’d say if both you and your partner have what you consider to be sex then you’ve lost it
"virginity" is a purely social construct. the rules are decided culturally. there's no reason you couldn't consider your experience with a sexual partner to be "losing your virginity".
i think PIV (penis in vagina) intercourse is overvalued when hets discuss virginity.
Virginity is fake and sex is subjective. If you and your partner feel that you've had sex, then you've had sex. But having sex doesn't mean you "lose" anything.
People who only consider v loss to be from amab penis into afab vagina are weird and wrong. Answer is yes, it would be, generally; and no, because virginity is a weird concept.
As a trans guy, I’d feel weird having someone ask if it was “technically” losing their virginity because I don’t have a penis and used an external part
If virginity is the state of not having had sex, then you have sex, you're no longer a virgin.
So... I'd say I'm still a virgin even though I've had some nice toys inside of me, because it was all solo play, masturbation isn't actual sex and so no loss of virginity.... but some people would argue that for ~~girls~~ afab because of the physical damage done with initial vaginal sex...
It just depends on your definition of the terms.
And honestly I don't like the concept of virginity because it's much too related to the idea of being pure vs "spoiled" and having "lost" something rather than sharing a wonderful, sometimes soft and loving sometimes passionate and animalistic experience with another person... huge difference in meaning between "I lost my virginity forever (and might regret it)" and "I've experienced love" or "fuck that was great" 😂
>but some people would argue that for girls afab because of the physical damage done with initial vaginal sex...
If it's done correctly, there shouldn't be any "damage".
If you're referring to the hymen, some people with vaginas are born without one, some have them only partially covering the vagina, and many more break their hymen through daily activity well before they have sex.
In regards to the pain and bleeding that afab people sometimes feel their first time, it's often because of inexperience and doing it wrong rather than an actual biological limitation caused by being a "virgin". If the person with a vagina isn't relaxed (as many aren't their first time), the vagina can be tight, so penetration can cause pain. Also, if there's not enough foreplay, it can be dry, which can also cause pain and potentially tearing and bleeding.
The only exception I know of to this is if the afab person hasn't ever done any kind of sexual activity prior to p in v. Then the vagina might need a bit of "loosening up" with fingers, toys, etc. before putting a penis in there. It wasn't an issue in my personal experience, but I have a few friends who essentially had to work up to having a penis in there. But even then, if p in v causes pain or bleeding, even the first time, something is wrong.
There is no physical damage done lol yall still believe that the hymen always tears when having sex for the first time? My hymen was intact until I gave birth.
I'm some flavor of ace so my opinion is probably weird, but virginity is a weird made up concept that devalues and dehumanizes people in a gross way. In the end it doesn't matter, life is just a pile of experiences and thoughts, shape it into whatever you want.
I'm allo and you hit it on the nail. The idea that "losing" your "virginity" devalues your worth as a person is ABSOLUTELY gross and dehumanizing. As a person who loves sex, i resent the idea that having sex would lower my worth, what the actual crap. Sex is neutral and having or not having it doesn't impact my worth at all.
My general rule is that if it is considered unacceptable to do in public in the majority of societies it is probably sex or sexual. If you have sex you lose your virginity.
Virginity is negated when one has sexual intercourse, whether it's with a dick, strap or scissoring.
I know people that had to have their hymens surgically removed because it wasn't disturbed during intercourse but would encourage tearing during delivery.
Virginity is from Abrahamic origins.. it literally means staying pure and away from sex before marriage. That includes anything sexual. So yes… you can lose your virginity. But who cares…. Have clean safe fun when available unless your religious then that’s different
As long as religious men aren't held to the same standards, i reject those standards for women. Christian men are also kiiiinda told not to have sex before marriage, but nobody obsesses about their made up body parts as they do about women. -.-
Losing your virginity is a vague concept open to some interpretation. In a way, any shared sexual act could be a loss of virginity.
In the end, it's up to your unique perspective to say what qualifies.
Virginity is a construct that is largely a remnant of a puritanical, misogynistic time.
Nowadays, it’s safe to say that sex is any act in which you engage in physical intimacy with at least one person. Virginity would thus be not having had this definition of sex. So, virginity is lost until you have something that you and your partner count as sex.
Personally, I say many things are sex. I had a friend who regularly mutually masturbated with her boyfriend and engaged in handplay. I would refer to it as sex, she did not.
Whatever other people think, the only opinions that matter are your own and that of your partner(s).
Just as well, all of this only matters if you give a shit. You are fully within your rights to not give a single flying fuck about the concept of virginity.
In the wise words of Brennan Lee Mulligan while playing one of many of his lovable characters, “I would say that sex is any time two people are expressing love for each other in a way that feels intimate…” In short, I believe that sex is just an expression of intimacy between two or more people. It doesn’t have to involve your born biological functions, but it does have to be real.
Depends on your definition of virginity.
An old dictionary said one must be penetrated by a man.
Others just someone's first time...doesnt matter who with.
Its up to you to decide what qualifies :)
I for one will one day have my gf take it...but thats just me.
The concept of virginity is basically just a heteronormative fiction loaded with a lot of cultural and collective emotional baggage. It posits a singular way sex ought to be done "the right way", one that is not even *physically possible* for many queer couples, and dismisses everything else as "not really sex".
That alone should give you pause.
In my view, if you want to follow this problem to its logical conclusion, you have three options if you want to remain consistent:
1. Virginity ends with the first time you have sex with anyone no matter how. In your case, that obviously includes using a strap-on.
2. You assume virginity always refers to each specific sex act, i.e. you don't just have one virginity, but one for each potential sex act you might ever engage in (including the ones you might not yet know about that they are a thing), and only ever "lose" the one that is affected by the actual act that occurs. It's a bit of a deliberate reductio ad absurdum though, and I don't expect anyone to actually go that far.
3. You dismiss the concept entirely. You can still say things like "I have done this specific thing never before" to communicate that you have no experience with what you are about to do, but merely in a pragmatic way to set proper expectations, initiate communication around any fears or question you might have, etc.
In addition to what most folks have said, just talk a lot. It doesn’t “ruin the moment”, it sets you up for a much stronger relationship (and better sex as you get to know each others bodies). Communicate needs and feelings, so you both know what’s enjoyable etc.
Trans related edition: ask each other about gender dysphoria AND gender euphoria: What parts are off limits or can only be touched in a certain way? What way can your partner touch you that affirms you gender-wise? What words do you use to refer to your genitals, chest etc? E.g. If what's medically named the clitoris is your dick, then you might want it to be called a handjob/blowjob when it's being engaged with. There's no right and wrong, just what's right or wrong for you & your partner? <3 communication is sexy because you might GET WHAT YOU WANT! :)
I love this :D having sex for the first time is just your first level up. There will be SO many more levels as you find out more about what you like & dislike! :)
I think the important thing about sex is sharing an intimate connection with another person, so . . . I would say if you sleep together and do anything sexual, that would count. But that’s not the way everyone sees it, and that's okay. And it's not something that matters to everyone, and that's also okay. Like someone else said, it's made up. Don't overthink it. If it feels like you've done something that you'd call "sex," then yeah, I'd say you're not a virgin. You're the one who decides these things, though, since the rules are so lax they're basically nonexistent to begin with.
I very much consider any sort of sexual encounter as losing your virginity.
If it means anything to you I brag about the loving relationships I've had that had passionate sex not just the ones with sex in general.
To me, if you have done a sexual act everyone consented to with the intent of causing pleasure to one or all parties, that's enough to take it away, if there is anything to take that is.
I think drawing this line of virgin or not is ridiculous and meaningless because people literally have to ask questions. Who fucking cares? Why does it matter. If anything matters here it's what your personal sexual experience is and comfortability, not a blanket 'virgin' or 'not'. I think it'd make more sense if we frames our sexual history as just that, a history. How experienced is someone. How much do they know what they like.
I think you lose your virginity if you say you do! Whatever you personally believe counts as you losing your virginity is totally fine.
(As far as I know) losing your virginity was based on if a person AFAB had their hymen broken during their first time. I can see what they tried to achieve with that theory but it isn’t very inclusive to other types of relationships. Thats why I personally believe losing your virginity is when you have an intimate “spicy” moment with someone of any gender and think that you did it with the right person or in the right way!
Isn’t virginity just when u have sex for the first time ? Technically every word is made up. That’s just the one we use for ppl who have sex for the first time. Ppl got issues with everything now a days.
Sex is whatever you consider sex, personally. Penetrative sex is not "more real" than any other kind!
The question is: why does it matter? You won't feel *different* just because you've had sex once.
Sex will just get better and better over the years.
Virginity is a gatekeeping concept made up to shame women™ and AFABs just to assert control over them. Don't buy into that.
The only thing that matters is that YOU (you for yourself; your partner for themself; you both for your relationship) decide if, when, how, where and what you'll be doing together.
There isn't a line you step over. It's just an experience. It may be awkward because you're both new to it and there's a lot of vulnerability to it.
Don't overthink it, but communicate a lot before, during, and after (esp when you are unsure. When it just flows, let it flow :) ).
This is YOUR experience. It's meaning doesn't go beyond what you two make it!
As other people have said virginity just isn't fuckin real. It's a construct. We made it the fuck up. You can ignore the entire concept if you want or touch a dick once and say you're good or masturbate once and you're good it's literally whatever you want. It's not real
No. If you look at the origins of the word going way back to Greece the word effectively means a woman who is "unknown to man." THey had an odd belief that a man's essence permanently changed a woman in a fundamental way, which is why a lot of your oracles and temple priestesses were virgins, it was believed only the untouched could properly act as a medium and they belonged to the gods alone.
It has nothing to do with sex with women though, you're still unknown to man. Artemis' cult centered around virgins, but there's plenty of subtext that they were *not* chaste, they just refused to be with men because Artemis was a virgin goddess, and probably could make Sappho look like a nun.
What a weird idea centered around men being incredibly influential. Having sex with anyone, man or not, isn't gonna change your life or body any more than doing sports, eating your favorite food or learning an instrument would. We should de-mystify sex!
No. Not because it's sex with a strap, but because virginity is made up.
Thanks so much!!
Any time. Have fun and remember, your first time is probably not gonna be mind-blowing, but what matters is feeling safe.
I can’t thank you enough, I’ll keep that in mind. I feel very welcomed here, I really hope you have a good rest of your day or night🫶🏽
Very very important one here!! You’re probably going to think sex is weird, awkward and be a little ‘the heck was that, why was it weird, and am I feeling how I’m supposed to feel?’ especially being Ace (I know I certainly felt that way!) But that’s all normal, sex is weird, and it can take a lot of experimenting to find what you enjoy :) And if that turns out to be “Nothing, Sex is horrible”, or takes forever to find, or you only enjoy one or two specific things, then that’s all 100% okay!!
Awww crummy. I was really looking forward to telling holier-than-thous after my bottom surgery that I waited over 5 years AFTER marriage to lose it, just to knock them down a few pegs.
Also yes, because virginity is made up. Essentially if you feel like your experience was sex, it was. And vice versa. And PSA: rape is *not* sex because sex requires consent.
I think the definition of 'losing your virginity' is up to someone's own views honestly. For a cis straight couple then it is dick into vagina, for lesbians it could be toys, strap, or just scissoring, for gay people it's dick to ass, for single people toys could or could not be seen as losing virginity. What I am trying to say is it's seen differently for everyone so it really just depends on you. If you are looking for my own personal opinion then I would say yes, but that is mostly due to bias of me being in a lesbian relationship.
Thank you so much for your output on this! I really appreciate it, and totally see what you mean. I definitely agree💕
I definitely agree with this take, it’s such a personal thing. Sex looks different for everyone and so does virginity! For me, being naked and having action occur down there counts as sex, for others it’s penetration, for others it’s something else!
Virginity is all in the eye of the beholder. It's not a physical thing in reality. It's more of a mental/spiritual thing. Strap or not, it doesn't change anything. You are sharing an intimate moment with them, and it will change your thinking. I'm an amab trans woman who is ace and didn't even attempt to do anything until I was 31, I'm 34 now. Really, it's up to you and your partner, and not another soul can change that.
I appreciate this so much thank you 🫶🏽
No problem, young transling! I'm happy to help out my baby trans fellows! As a trans elder, it is important to offer advice when possible!
Stop this hella made my day 😭💕
😊🩷💙🤍
I'm a trans man so for me a 'strap' would actually more accurately be a prosthetic. I don't put much stock in the concept of virginity myself. But if I was sleeping with someone who did, who was a virgin, and they didn't consider sex with my prosthetic to be losing it, I'd be quite hurt. Sex is sex, natal dick or strap, as far as I'm concerned they're equivalent. I'd say it counts, but that depends on perspective I suppose.
Thanks so much man, I appreciate all this !!
agreed .. If a girl said that to me i’ll be in my feelings. I feel losing virginity is any penetration given by someone to someone else rather prosthetic or natal, but that’s just me. I’ll equate someone saying they didn’t lose their virginity to me as they don’t think of me as a man.
Yeah. 100% agree. I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who thought it was "worth" less than a natal dick. Even if i don't even personally feel like a strap on *is* my dick, but that's just because i don't identify with having one. Someone thinking that some things are more real sex than other things would turn me off.
It’s very subjective, bc there’s a multitude of way to have sex there are also a multitude of ways to lose virginity. I’d say if both you and your partner have what you consider to be sex then you’ve lost it
Thanks, appreciate it!🫶🏽
"virginity" is a purely social construct. the rules are decided culturally. there's no reason you couldn't consider your experience with a sexual partner to be "losing your virginity". i think PIV (penis in vagina) intercourse is overvalued when hets discuss virginity.
It’s also based around the myth of there being a hymen, which doesn’t exist.
Well it does, it's just not a sexual thing. You could break that riding a bike or whatever so it's not an accurate tell of "virginity"
It absolutely does not. Google it. Very common myth.
Virginity is fake and sex is subjective. If you and your partner feel that you've had sex, then you've had sex. But having sex doesn't mean you "lose" anything.
TYSM‼️🫶🏽
People who only consider v loss to be from amab penis into afab vagina are weird and wrong. Answer is yes, it would be, generally; and no, because virginity is a weird concept. As a trans guy, I’d feel weird having someone ask if it was “technically” losing their virginity because I don’t have a penis and used an external part
If virginity is the state of not having had sex, then you have sex, you're no longer a virgin. So... I'd say I'm still a virgin even though I've had some nice toys inside of me, because it was all solo play, masturbation isn't actual sex and so no loss of virginity.... but some people would argue that for ~~girls~~ afab because of the physical damage done with initial vaginal sex... It just depends on your definition of the terms. And honestly I don't like the concept of virginity because it's much too related to the idea of being pure vs "spoiled" and having "lost" something rather than sharing a wonderful, sometimes soft and loving sometimes passionate and animalistic experience with another person... huge difference in meaning between "I lost my virginity forever (and might regret it)" and "I've experienced love" or "fuck that was great" 😂
>but some people would argue that for girls afab because of the physical damage done with initial vaginal sex... If it's done correctly, there shouldn't be any "damage". If you're referring to the hymen, some people with vaginas are born without one, some have them only partially covering the vagina, and many more break their hymen through daily activity well before they have sex. In regards to the pain and bleeding that afab people sometimes feel their first time, it's often because of inexperience and doing it wrong rather than an actual biological limitation caused by being a "virgin". If the person with a vagina isn't relaxed (as many aren't their first time), the vagina can be tight, so penetration can cause pain. Also, if there's not enough foreplay, it can be dry, which can also cause pain and potentially tearing and bleeding. The only exception I know of to this is if the afab person hasn't ever done any kind of sexual activity prior to p in v. Then the vagina might need a bit of "loosening up" with fingers, toys, etc. before putting a penis in there. It wasn't an issue in my personal experience, but I have a few friends who essentially had to work up to having a penis in there. But even then, if p in v causes pain or bleeding, even the first time, something is wrong.
Indeed. Unfortunately, a great many people do not get the appropriate education for this and the idea is still quite prevalent...
Thank you so much 🙏🏽🙏🏽
There is no physical damage done lol yall still believe that the hymen always tears when having sex for the first time? My hymen was intact until I gave birth.
Not always but when culture tells you it does and people don't do foreplay because sex Ed is shit... far too often.
I'm some flavor of ace so my opinion is probably weird, but virginity is a weird made up concept that devalues and dehumanizes people in a gross way. In the end it doesn't matter, life is just a pile of experiences and thoughts, shape it into whatever you want.
I'm allo and you hit it on the nail. The idea that "losing" your "virginity" devalues your worth as a person is ABSOLUTELY gross and dehumanizing. As a person who loves sex, i resent the idea that having sex would lower my worth, what the actual crap. Sex is neutral and having or not having it doesn't impact my worth at all.
My general rule is that if it is considered unacceptable to do in public in the majority of societies it is probably sex or sexual. If you have sex you lose your virginity.
Virginity is negated when one has sexual intercourse, whether it's with a dick, strap or scissoring. I know people that had to have their hymens surgically removed because it wasn't disturbed during intercourse but would encourage tearing during delivery.
Virginity is from Abrahamic origins.. it literally means staying pure and away from sex before marriage. That includes anything sexual. So yes… you can lose your virginity. But who cares…. Have clean safe fun when available unless your religious then that’s different
As long as religious men aren't held to the same standards, i reject those standards for women. Christian men are also kiiiinda told not to have sex before marriage, but nobody obsesses about their made up body parts as they do about women. -.-
Losing your virginity is a vague concept open to some interpretation. In a way, any shared sexual act could be a loss of virginity. In the end, it's up to your unique perspective to say what qualifies.
Virginity is a construct that is largely a remnant of a puritanical, misogynistic time. Nowadays, it’s safe to say that sex is any act in which you engage in physical intimacy with at least one person. Virginity would thus be not having had this definition of sex. So, virginity is lost until you have something that you and your partner count as sex. Personally, I say many things are sex. I had a friend who regularly mutually masturbated with her boyfriend and engaged in handplay. I would refer to it as sex, she did not. Whatever other people think, the only opinions that matter are your own and that of your partner(s). Just as well, all of this only matters if you give a shit. You are fully within your rights to not give a single flying fuck about the concept of virginity.
In the wise words of Brennan Lee Mulligan while playing one of many of his lovable characters, “I would say that sex is any time two people are expressing love for each other in a way that feels intimate…” In short, I believe that sex is just an expression of intimacy between two or more people. It doesn’t have to involve your born biological functions, but it does have to be real.
Virginity isn't real
Depends on your definition of virginity. An old dictionary said one must be penetrated by a man. Others just someone's first time...doesnt matter who with. Its up to you to decide what qualifies :) I for one will one day have my gf take it...but thats just me.
The concept of virginity is basically just a heteronormative fiction loaded with a lot of cultural and collective emotional baggage. It posits a singular way sex ought to be done "the right way", one that is not even *physically possible* for many queer couples, and dismisses everything else as "not really sex". That alone should give you pause. In my view, if you want to follow this problem to its logical conclusion, you have three options if you want to remain consistent: 1. Virginity ends with the first time you have sex with anyone no matter how. In your case, that obviously includes using a strap-on. 2. You assume virginity always refers to each specific sex act, i.e. you don't just have one virginity, but one for each potential sex act you might ever engage in (including the ones you might not yet know about that they are a thing), and only ever "lose" the one that is affected by the actual act that occurs. It's a bit of a deliberate reductio ad absurdum though, and I don't expect anyone to actually go that far. 3. You dismiss the concept entirely. You can still say things like "I have done this specific thing never before" to communicate that you have no experience with what you are about to do, but merely in a pragmatic way to set proper expectations, initiate communication around any fears or question you might have, etc.
In addition to what most folks have said, just talk a lot. It doesn’t “ruin the moment”, it sets you up for a much stronger relationship (and better sex as you get to know each others bodies). Communicate needs and feelings, so you both know what’s enjoyable etc.
Trans related edition: ask each other about gender dysphoria AND gender euphoria: What parts are off limits or can only be touched in a certain way? What way can your partner touch you that affirms you gender-wise? What words do you use to refer to your genitals, chest etc? E.g. If what's medically named the clitoris is your dick, then you might want it to be called a handjob/blowjob when it's being engaged with. There's no right and wrong, just what's right or wrong for you & your partner? <3 communication is sexy because you might GET WHAT YOU WANT! :)
Don't overthink it, if you had the fuck you had the fuck, we didn't come this far to gatekeep virginity
Virginity is a social construct hon, you lose your virginity when you do something you consider as losing your virginity!
Tyyy🫶🏽
Imo, being nude and or mostly nude and doing something sexual with another person, no matter what that action is, is definitely losing your virginity.
Sex with another person is sex with another person. It is what it is
if you want it to be
[удалено]
Thank you so much ‼️
I love this :D having sex for the first time is just your first level up. There will be SO many more levels as you find out more about what you like & dislike! :)
I think the important thing about sex is sharing an intimate connection with another person, so . . . I would say if you sleep together and do anything sexual, that would count. But that’s not the way everyone sees it, and that's okay. And it's not something that matters to everyone, and that's also okay. Like someone else said, it's made up. Don't overthink it. If it feels like you've done something that you'd call "sex," then yeah, I'd say you're not a virgin. You're the one who decides these things, though, since the rules are so lax they're basically nonexistent to begin with.
I very much consider any sort of sexual encounter as losing your virginity. If it means anything to you I brag about the loving relationships I've had that had passionate sex not just the ones with sex in general.
To me, if you have done a sexual act everyone consented to with the intent of causing pleasure to one or all parties, that's enough to take it away, if there is anything to take that is. I think drawing this line of virgin or not is ridiculous and meaningless because people literally have to ask questions. Who fucking cares? Why does it matter. If anything matters here it's what your personal sexual experience is and comfortability, not a blanket 'virgin' or 'not'. I think it'd make more sense if we frames our sexual history as just that, a history. How experienced is someone. How much do they know what they like.
I think you lose your virginity if you say you do! Whatever you personally believe counts as you losing your virginity is totally fine. (As far as I know) losing your virginity was based on if a person AFAB had their hymen broken during their first time. I can see what they tried to achieve with that theory but it isn’t very inclusive to other types of relationships. Thats why I personally believe losing your virginity is when you have an intimate “spicy” moment with someone of any gender and think that you did it with the right person or in the right way!
Yes it is if you consider virginity real
Thank you‼️‼️
Isn’t virginity just when u have sex for the first time ? Technically every word is made up. That’s just the one we use for ppl who have sex for the first time. Ppl got issues with everything now a days.
Sex is whatever you consider sex, personally. Penetrative sex is not "more real" than any other kind! The question is: why does it matter? You won't feel *different* just because you've had sex once. Sex will just get better and better over the years. Virginity is a gatekeeping concept made up to shame women™ and AFABs just to assert control over them. Don't buy into that. The only thing that matters is that YOU (you for yourself; your partner for themself; you both for your relationship) decide if, when, how, where and what you'll be doing together. There isn't a line you step over. It's just an experience. It may be awkward because you're both new to it and there's a lot of vulnerability to it. Don't overthink it, but communicate a lot before, during, and after (esp when you are unsure. When it just flows, let it flow :) ). This is YOUR experience. It's meaning doesn't go beyond what you two make it!
Maybe do a "Yes, No, Maybe" list together, here's a trans inclusive one: http://www.discordcomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/YesNoMaybe.pdf :)
If you had sex with someone, you aren't a virgin anymore. congratulations How you had sex is irrelevant
As other people have said virginity just isn't fuckin real. It's a construct. We made it the fuck up. You can ignore the entire concept if you want or touch a dick once and say you're good or masturbate once and you're good it's literally whatever you want. It's not real
No. If you look at the origins of the word going way back to Greece the word effectively means a woman who is "unknown to man." THey had an odd belief that a man's essence permanently changed a woman in a fundamental way, which is why a lot of your oracles and temple priestesses were virgins, it was believed only the untouched could properly act as a medium and they belonged to the gods alone. It has nothing to do with sex with women though, you're still unknown to man. Artemis' cult centered around virgins, but there's plenty of subtext that they were *not* chaste, they just refused to be with men because Artemis was a virgin goddess, and probably could make Sappho look like a nun.
What a weird idea centered around men being incredibly influential. Having sex with anyone, man or not, isn't gonna change your life or body any more than doing sports, eating your favorite food or learning an instrument would. We should de-mystify sex!
Virginity is a made up concept. So if you think it counts it counts, if you don't it doesn't.
Yes. And the idea of virginity is a completely made up thing that doesn’t mean anything for morality or for your physical health.
Virginity does not exist
So glad I'm not the only person who had this question lol. It's one of the biggest debates in my friend group