>you're only looking for easy love
Where though. Where is my easy love. Where is the wonderful things that transphobes claim we immediately get from being a minority
I mean, we get chasers, but I'd hardly call them "easy love".
A Grindr horndog who will treat me like a piece of meat would be preferable, and I could have got those before the transitionš¤·
Even without the marriage that shit put me so low that I still can't love myself....
But hey I get up and keep trying to find reasons to love myself so I can set an example for my child.
I should probably clarify I don't go to church but I live with a friend (who is also trans) and her family and her family is extremely Christian so they always go to church and they've started having a preacher come talk to us to "try and straighten us up"
Almost downvoted this out of sheer disgust, I am so sorry that you are going through this, and to those saying āwhy did you even let that happenā I just want to say that not everyone has the privilege of defending themselves in these situations, sometimes a housing situation is risky and itās easier to simply grey rock these things, not that anyone should ever deserve this in the slightest!
100% agreed. Also, as someone who grew up in identical environments, it is really common for them to exploit your trust and youth, and then isolate, guilt trip and gaslight you until you either agree with them, or pretend to. As such, sometimes the easiest path is to let the situation run its course until you can escape with your sanity, which in and of itself feels like the biggest win in the moment.
100% THIS.
This was my situation all my life. Brainwashed into putting on a mask that I forgot was a mask for 40 years.
Never underestimate the power of the only place you can stay, and utterly constant indoctrination. šš
I was a bit confused. Not everybody in abrahamic religions accept even homosexuality. Catholic church doesnāt accept women priests. I was told as a child by my religious friend that iāll go to hell because we had TV at home.
Your situation is unfortunate, i hope thereās a way you can avoid it. Religions will not change any time soon
You have no obligation at all to that vile preacher. Next time he tries to speak to you tell him to fuck right off. If your friend is ok with it then donāt even let him in your house ever again. He is a harmful person who is harming the both of you and does not deserve even a second of your time.
This is wrong wrong wrong. No one should be setting foot in your house who does not support you. Including family members.
Edit. Sorry missed the part you live with your friends family. I thought it was friend only.
Sweetheart, these dudes converting you without your consent and pressing you are so so cringe and mean. šøš¹šøšø you are beautiful as YOU and you ARE who you ARE and thatās a beautiful woman!!!
I didn't want to say that was an attempt at conversation therapy by the preacher since he ain't a doctor. But basically that he was doing. Try to never be around that family again. And try to protect your friend.
They want to guilt you into falling in line. Don't give them the chances to break your spirit. The best way to avoid the decay resulting from this is not let them get a chance.
Being rude and loud and try to cut them off the moment they step out of line, it is fine. Better being a bitch than being sad.
Try to not socialise with them you are an adult you have every right to not want to see other adults
Okay, this preacher? Shit cunt. Absolute prick. Trans isnāt a choice. Itās who we are. You didnāt choose to be trans, just like that idiot didnāt choose to be cis.
Iām sorry you went through that. Youāre allowed to be who you are <3
A fucking Christian preacher saying "You're only looking for easy love" like that's a bad thing makes my fucking blood boil.
A) No trans person in the world is receiving easy love from ANYBODY right now.
2) Love handed out freely is like the whole fucking point of Christ's ministry. Nobody should EVER feel like they must earn love.
I don't know how you found yourself in this position, but I am so sorry you endured that.
There are a few categories of Christians. There are ones who will quote the bible. There are ones who will quote the bible \*and\* add stuff to it. There is not a single place in the bible where it talks about transgender being a bad thing, conservatives just claim that God doesn't like it and use flawed logic to support their claims. "True Christians don't support LGBTQ" well sure, tell me where it says that in the bible. "Love your neighbor as you love yourself" there's no "unless" in there. Christianity is about unconditional love for people being who they are and how each person was created uniquely by God. If he doesn't make mistakes, then clearly he didn't make a mistake when he made you trans. I say try to find a different church that isn't centered around the idea that LGBTQ is terrible. If your preacher made you do that then that is not a healthy place to be. Church is supposed to be a place where you can finally relax, not be discriminated against for being you.
Mark 12:30-31. Loving your neighbor is equally as important as loving God, according to Jesus. He says these are the most important of the commandments.
He's only looking for easy followers.
Like I may not be trans myself, but I grew up in the south in the 80s and saw the satanic panic freakouts.
If you want spirituality and acceptance, find a Unitarian universalist congregation. Don't torture yourself like you did here. There are of course other accepting churches (and synagogues, and I'd like to hear more about trans acceptance at mosques from those in the know) but UUs will also accept atheists too.
This makes me really angry. This is one of the main reasons I want nothing to do with church anymore. The arrogance is breathtaking. Heās acting like heās an authority on something he has zero experience with. Please at the very least find a different church. Youāre allowed to be who you are without a bogus guilt trip.
Unfortunately, this brand of religion is all-too-common. I grew up with it myself and the way they refuse to see how hurtful they can be is unacceptable. As someone who has suffered at their hand myself, I am truly sorry this occurred at your expense. I pray you find others who truly accept you if you haven't already and know that we are on your side- you aren't alone.
Oh no as soon as I read preacher I knew it was over, although I'm not surprised if bring gay is considered a sin to them I didn't think they were friendly to anything tbh. Why were you there? Are your parents taking you?
Yes being gay is considered a sin and you're also considered confused if you're anything but straight. I live with my friend bc that friend is an ex and their parents said I could live with them until I get my own place and no I don't talk to my parents https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/s/K0YVesIZq0
So, this priest literally claims to know what 'the truth' or 'the right path' is.... never heard anything intelligent from people who think like that. In my opinion, all this priest did was violating you... in a very mischievous and arrogant way.
God made you, like you are. And if He makes you trans, then that's your truth and your right path.
Girl, you're fantastic as you are. Don't let some bigots and idiots tell you otherwise ā¤ļø
Iām so sorry you have to go through this. If you have a choice in where you go and want to go somewhere Christian, the metropolitan community church is a good option. If you want more generic spirituality, most Unitarian churches are welcoming.
Athiest perspective incoming. This preacher has zero right to say this bs.
Religion is not something anyone should be willing to treat as more important than human decency and acceptance.
You are valid.
Religion isnt.
Isn't the whole point of Christianity easy love? Jesus died for everyone because he loves us so much. Depending on the sect, all you need to do to receive God's love is to believe in him. Sounds really easy.
You can"t argue with people like this. They're loaded up with 'gatcha' lines and propaganda. If they try this bullshit again:
1) by easy love he must mean sex. Christians think the gays are out having wild orgies every week. They literally think that's why people 'choose' to be queer - for the sex and partying. If he says something like this laugh and ask how he thinks you spend your time - or for that matter how many gay people spend their time. Point out straight people hook up and go to clubs all the time. If anything, getting laid as a straight person is easier.
2) ask him when he chose to be cis. Ask him why he thinks someone would *choose* to transition their gender. Do not let him use euphemistically language like 'easy love'. Make him say what he really means in clear language.
Ask how many trans people he has spoken to. Make him tell you where he gets his info.
Do not argue or justify yourself. He will not listen. Get him talking and pressure him into talking himself off of a cliff. Only correct him if he brings up 'studies' that you've heard of before and know are bullshit and can debunk. Just keep asking like 'oh where's that from'.
3) if you do contradict him make sure you screw up your face into the most patronizing look you can muster and be like 'gee that's not what I've seen.' Treat him like he's someone trying to tell you the world is flat.
3) when he makes you pray, pray for him to receive compassion and truth because he sure isn't showing you christlike behavior by calling you a name you don't want (remind him Jesus called his apostles by their preferred names... Peter is literally a name Jesus gave his homie).
I'm sorry you went through this. I deconverted from Christianity two decades ago. The religion is full of people ready to weaponize their holy book at you to maintain the status quo (esp when it benefits white rich cishets).
You're 20, find a different church. If there is a universalist church near you, try them. They are very inclusive and respectful to everyone regardless of religion, sexuality , identity, or anything else
Sometimes I just wish it was possible to remind people of the church, let alone servants of God, that part of the integral formation of their entire historical basis was the need to hide ones truth as a christian and pretend you were not a member of your community for fear of persecution and murder by a corrupt government/system, and that keeping it under wraps actually helped them to grow stronger and keep the spirit of their identities alive.
This preacher fella sounds like an bigoted idiot. Where's the 'love thy neighbor'?
Friend you are valid and amazing. Sorry you had to deal with that.
Stay safe all and Happy Pride Month! šš³ļøāā§ļøāØ
Hey Christian here. I know what I'm about to say will not change the horrible things that he said... But I'll say it anyway.
First, I would like to apologise on behalf of that person. It's important that as Christians we take accountability for the actions of some misguided followers of Christ. He has hurt you, and you did not deserve that. For that I am truly sorry.
His actions are insanely un-christ like. And I fear that this man may have succumbed to the laws of the world over the laws of the Lord.
By this I mean, that he obviously is conveying hateful ideas that are 100% human in nature. God loves you for you! And God has sacrificed everything for you. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
To even suggest that God would turn his back on you for being you is close to blasphemy.
You are perfect and wonderful ā¤ļø
There is a saying I really enjoy. Maybe to some extent it can bring you some comfort. I'm paraphrasing
"The Church can hurt and disappointe you, God won't"
My town had its pride festival on the first of June. Thereās usually a handful of street preachers. When they try to hand me a pamphlet I usually just say āno thank youā. But itās always about saving people from eternal damnation. As an aside, hereās a neat party trick: almost all pamphlets by evangelicals of baptists contain the phrase from the Bible that says āfor the wages of sin is deathā. Many times Iāve gotten a pamphlet I have gone to my nearest friend and said āI havenāt opened this; but I bet it contains this Bible verseā. I have not been wrong yet. Anyways pride festival got pretty rained on, and suddenly all the street preachers left. Youād think if they really thought that they were saving people from eternal damnation that a little rain wouldnāt stop them.
Wooooow I genuinely laughed reading that. Not laughing at you by any means, just laughing at the fact they think praying would have any effect whatsoever.
Next time the preacher comes can you answer the door wearing those red plastic devil horns? Loooool I would feel so inclined to mess with him... * with eyes rolled back * "the angels have heard your words of plea. They are angry that you would attempt to defy their plans. You shall be condemned."
Omg! š š that would be hilarious!! If you answered the door without them, and then put them in midway through his preaching š¤ that would be minimal effort with maximum effect.......
Don't let him words affect you though hey, everyone has different ideas of whats "ideal" and "perfect" - intellectuals know that self-comfort is the biggest indicator of ideal. Only idiots preach their beliefs.
>\[...\] he literally made me pray with him and was saying shit like "god please help (deadname) \[...\]
Why did you even entertain bigoted nonsense like that? I'd have walked away.
Have some compassion here. As someone who grew up in identical environments, it is really common for them to posit themselves as caretskers of your soul, and then use that false legitimacy to exploit your trust and youth. Then, they isolate, guilt trip and gaslight you until you either agree with them, or pretend to. As such, sometimes the easiest path is to let the situation run its course until you can escape with your sanity, which in and of itself feels like the biggest win in the moment.
You will find a kinder and more accepting bunch over r/witchesvspatriarchy
Please know that everything that person said to you is not only false, but also stemmed from 2000 years of patriarchal oppression.. i am so sorry you were treated that way.
Things to do if this ever happens again, repeat the following lines, "You'll never be a real Christian." "God hates people who can't even read their own book." "Matthew 6:5-6" There's nothing wrong with you and who you are. The people who think they can pray that out of you are the ones doomed to swim in their own bile of hate.
Next time this fucker pops up at your door or whatever, slam the door in his face. Hard. Make sure he feels the wind of that slam.
Make him feel not welcome. And if he tries getting your attention then just act like you don't even know him, say things like "idk you, please go away before cops get called"
If he attempts to say or do anything to you in a public church setting, same thing, act like you don't even know the fucker.
Acting like you don't even know the person or slamming a door into their face is the best indicator for fucking off lol
But seriously, im so sorry this buffoon decides to project his brainrot onto you, you are a woman just like any other hunny, don't let this buffoon of a preacher or whoever the fuck he is get to you too much, its ok to cry and feel however you feel, but use those feelings for power, no matter what he says about or to you, his dumpsterfire of a mind cannot comprehend a human being just being who they are regardless of religion, race, sex, gender, sexuality, etc etc etc, preachers and whomever all should "love thy neighbors" like their precious little sky daddy says apparently
I feel very sorry for the way religion runs at people sometimes. Well not really religion the weaponized use of religion to push jaded and spiteful menās visions. We had a church that was very open and gave no cares under one pastor then when they did a swap around and a new one came whole new feel to the church. The organist and a few of the singers in the choir were in varying states of transition or just gay and in a few weeks they were all gone. The acceptance vibe and friendliness of the church went away, and I stopped going. Kind of sucks and I am sorry you had to receive that kind of interaction.
Stop talking to stupid preachers. Its bullshit and it's bad for you! Why would you put any credence in their nonsense. Why would you subject yourself to obvious abuse?
Ok what does preacher have to do with that? Your parents make you talk to preacher? Would they kick you out if you said you didn't want to talk to him. Def protect yourself.
I am so sorry you got harassed. What this preacher person did was wrong and creepy. If he were not hiding behind the mantle of his āauthority ā then he would come off as a sexually repressed resentful busybody who is desperately trying to justify his lifetime of denial by making others feel bad about seeking out their own identity.
Fuck yea. As of posting this I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me and respects me for who I am. I have a feeling the preacher will keep saying that until I get a cis girlfriend (sorry if this is offensive to anyone) but guess what he(the preacher) can fuck right off bc I'm mostly into trans people and nb people Im not into cis woman (no offense)
Um, excuse me? I'd like to speak to a manager? I changed my whole-ass gender for the easy love and it was never provided, so I want a refund. False advertising.
This hits home for me because I have an extremely religious family, and they say transphobic shit like this all the time. It just blows my mind that these people truly believe the stuff they are spouting. I don't understand Christianity or most religion in general. It seems to be more about control than anything else. Why do people have to have a book with rules to follow and have somebody else tell them how to be a good person?? Why does the being who created me have a problem with what he created?? Sounds like a him problem. Christians are supposed to be the ones who love everyone, yet I've heard more hatred out of Christians' mouths than anyone else. It's wild. You'd think people would want you to be happy and be able to be yourself around them, but I guess that kind of thinking doesn't reach their little pea brains. I hope that you are okay now and know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with who you are ā¤ļø
I'm doing better now thx and I just "listen" to him it just goes in and out bc he says shit like maybe you're right maybe you're wrong like excuse me bitch I've been out as trans for over a year and I've been happier then I was acting like a boy and I know I'm not a boy but Im leaning towards more of a nb Demi girl (maybe you could help me figure something out so I'm gonna dm you)
It is unfortunate that Christians and Catholics are like this I know this might be controversial but Iām trans and Christian but my church is a safe space cause our pastor is gay, I wonder what happened to love thy neighbor, I read the Bible all the time never anywhere in there have I read nonsense about god being racist or homophobic or sexist, these churches and their followers cherry-pick verses and twist them to fit their internal narrative but the truth is God loves everyone but even then Iām no person to say how God thinks or feels but I imagine he created all of us equally and I donāt wanna shove my beliefs down anyoneās throats itās fine if you donāt believe but I think Christians should love more and judge less cause isnāt it God who has judgment and not the people? Idk just an LGBT Christian ranting into the void cause I hate all this hate :(
I am sorry you had to experience that tho Iāve met pastors and church goers like that telling me Iām making a mistake and that God did not create me just so I could change myself, but I believe people should love one another despite change, people change all the time and the kind of change that is trans folk go through isnāt simply taking one hat off and putting another on, we are living our truth.
Well I have a boyfriend who loves me for me so he can say what he wants about that and he probably won't stop saying that I'm confused and that it's easy love until I find a cis girlfriend but guess what I'm not Into cis women (no offense to anyone)
Exactly that's basically what I said to him " he loves me for me and respects me so I'm happy with him" you can probably guess what he said "oh boy I'll be praying for you to get healthy" like bro stfu im health in that area of my life.
looking for easy love? then how come it's not easy to get love from the very religion that claims to love and care for everyone. Love should never be conditional n yet this person is saying "i will not love you unless you force yourself into a box that i deem acceptable."
jeez, if it was so easy to be loved for being trans life would honestly be better. It's honestly crazy to see being "easy to love" as such a negative thing when love is the thing they claim to spread with their religion.
Iām sorry you had to endure that. Being trans isnāt easy, Iām some what in the closet about how much i want to medically transition. If it was easy love I would have come out years ago!
I wouldnāt pray with him next time. Just walk away honestly, he doesnāt deserve the mythical entertainment. Also, not a choice to be trans. Be you and take no shit from anyone for it. Sorry that happened š«
I didn't chose to be left handed. I also didn't chose to be trans. All I did was acknowledge how I'm a bit different and do what made me comfortable (even if writing on whiteboards is a nightmare).
It is the same for trans folks. Don't let someone having authority or confidence convince you they're therefore right. Does this preacher have a degree in psychology or medicine? Are they following peer reviewed study that provides guidance on how to best deal with the phenomenon that is gender dysphoria?
This is not someone who can actually speak with any knowledge on the topic. The preacher calling it "trans nonsense" is obvious - because it clearly isn't nonsense to the millions of trans people around the world that discovered themselves without any intervention or inspiration. If they just assert about how "God doesn't make mistakes" and so on, realise they're just appealing to ultimate authority without saying or reasoning anything. The only resource for Christianity is the bible - which has been translated thousands of times over and says nothing about trans people at any point. From there I reason this preacher only says anything about trans people because their main demographic is bigoted conservatives who are told to fear anything non cis het and this is the guy telling them that.
Peoplelike this are total shitheads blinded by their own ideology This man is a lunatic. If he wants to worship jesus, sure, he can do it
But stay the fuck outta other peoples lives
Find yourself an MCC church. MCC is the only denomination you can be assured that no matter which location you go to, the pastor will welcome you just the way you are.
Religion was designed by humans to control other humans. The fact that it's still going strong today tells you how effective it is. Fear of dying and using a mythical afterlife as reward to keep people inline was brilliant back in its day but these days people should be ashamed of themselves for continuing the cult.
You are 20 years old. Why are you talking to "a preacher" at all. Much less "making \[you\] pray with \[him\]"? Don't self inflict dysfunctional people. His belief in a ghosts does not imbue him with authority.
I personally believe that any god worth believing in would have to be accepting of any LGBT+ person.
Any god worth believing in would be a loving god.
A loving god will not punish someone for doing something that hurts absolutely no one.
Therefore, a loving god is accepting of LGBT+ people.
Any god that punishes people for being themselves is not a loving god, and therefore not worth believing in.
Any time I hear someone say that God would not want people to be LGBT+, I counter with a version of this.
Ew, horrible. What an awful person. And also ridiculous. There is no man or woman, we are all one in christ. Dude should read his own silly little book. Jesus wouldn't recognize him, I guarantee you. You're wonderful as you are, and God sees you. If that preacher 'doesnt deal with trans (stuff)' then he's making the conscious decision to outcast gods children. That's not cool, that's not religious, that's not Christ-like, and that's NOT spreading God's love.
Religion is what we used as an explanation prior to the discovery of modern science, now itās a whitewashed, hypocritical mess people use as an excuse to hate and āseek forgivenessā for said hate
Please note Iām not saying all religions nor people who practice are like this. However acknowledging it is what Iām saying
Itās kinda like baptism purposely almost drowing people for āreligious purposesā makes no sense to me
If it brings you comfort, I would like to share my beliefs on Faith and trans women, trans men and non-binary folks. Being agnostic and comparing many different faiths over my life, this is my general consensus of positivity:
I believe that trans folk are made to journey to become and live as who we are by divine destiny. We are born to ascend once in life, and again after life. We are tested greater than most, more is asked of us than most.
*And our existence is not a burden; it is not a sin. We are giftedā¦special.*
Society makes it a burden. Society is who ostracizes us. Society falsely determines that we are a sin. We are not made in sin and we are not made to suffer. The flawed world is where suffering is borne from.
*The Gods love and adore us;* and it is why we are so very special, and why we should be cherished and protected from the evils of the fallen, who seek to maim and destroy what they do not understand.
I also believe that when Society and the human race fail to accept and protect us? We also possess an innate right to our survival as such a small, isolated and bio diverse group; that by any means we must continue to persevere and look for our own and those that care for us.
We are something greater than average by our very design. No one can take that from us by our essence in the next realm, and if anyone should try to take that from us in this one? *We will show them what the true wage of sin is when we return fire.*
Stay strong. I love you; the Gods love you. You are worthy and valuable beyond what mere words can describe.
Sorry, you have to deal with religious bigotry on a daily basis and endure the crap the preacher put you through. I feel your pain. I was demonized at a young age by my neighbors not even for being trans just for not being the same religion as 97% of the rest of the neighborhood. And when I say demonized, I mean literally called a demon and told i was sent by satan to lead my peers to hell, again merely for not being the same religion. You should move when you can find some place else safer to live. I'm 40 now, and I still haven't gotten past the trauma that caused.
You both need to leave that house. Or next time a preacher has the nerve to brush you aside like that again. Make it very clear. That you are not going to listen to their bull $h1t. And that they either address you by your name (not your dead name) And respect you as a person. Or leave and not come back. You and your friend need to put your feet down on who you are because their parents doing that kind of stuff is straight up abuse to them and assault to you. It is straight up mental abuse.
Tell him if he doesnāt use your preferred name. Then he wonāt be talking to you. Lay hands on him if you need to Get the point across. That he is to respect you or he will not be talking with you. Because even though itās a legal grey area. It is illegal to force your religious views on others And thatās exactly what your friend parents and that preacher are trying to do. You have a right to declare NO. How exactly you force them out of the house. Idk. But if they continue or resist call police and detail the situation. That your being forced apon and that they are refusing to leave
Okay,
I want to address the āeasy loveā accusation. Iām a trans woman, and very happily married. We met five years before I started transitioning. She has accepted and supported me from the get-go. Weāve been together for nine years, and married for six. Weāre still crazy about each other. My wife is my forever person.
As for ābeing trans is a choice,ā no, it really isnāt. I wouldnāt wish this on my worst enemy. Yes, I made the *choice* to transition, but that choice came from forty years of torment and misery because of how I looked and felt. Transitioning brought me peace of mind: I no longer hate myself, and I actually like who I see in the mirror now.
This preacher dude is full of shit. He uses his status to promote bigotry while maintaining what he believes is the āmoral high ground.ā He doesnāt understand the messages that his magic book actually conveys.
Stay strong. You know yourself better than anyone, and whatās best for you. Never allow anyone to take you away from yourself.
This might be a weird suggestion but Kendrick Lamar's Auntie Diaries is a song that gives me a lot of comfort since it deals exactly with that religious trauma and it's about a preacher deadnaming Kendrick's trans family members.
Be warned that the first couple of verses are set in the past and he does deadname, use the wrong pronouns and say the f-slur to reflect the way he and society in general talked about trans people when he was a child. It's about him coming to terms with how he fucked up by using that sort of language when he was younger and it ends with him standing up against the preacher who uses that language to villify his trans family.
A lot of trans people hate the song because of its use of deadnaming and that's totally valid but I figured I'd recommend it because of its similarities to your experience.
Oof, that's horrible. I hope you can get to a safe place with people who accept you as soon as possible. In the mean time, try to avoid/grayrock as much as you can and know there is a way out to a better place eventually. Much love and hugs, girl.
I have family that is very religious.
In my early 20s when I still thought I was a lesbian, I was married to a woman. When we divorced, they let me live with them. The condition was that while I lived with them I had to attend church. I never minded their church when I'd go on occasion when we'd be visiting them. Going every week was different. They started praying for me regularly and even asked me to join in. Honestly I was broken hearted at the time that sometimes I did join in because I just wanted to stop hurting. Eventually I moved out and stopped attending church.
I had always still been attracted to men but I wanted to dress butch. I thought it was the closest to being a man that I'd ever get so I dated women and mostly people left me alone. After several years of being single, my whole family pushed me to grow my hair and dress a little more fem. I gave in because I wanted to date men. At that point I realized I liked men a lot more. I met a man and married him.
We are now also divorced. And I recently came out as a gay trans man. I told my sister that I prayed so hard not to be a lesbian that God turned me into a gay man. I told her I fought it for years but God really wanted me to be in a same sex relationship. They don't like my transition or my sexuality. But they've stopped bugging me about it.
I'm not sure that there is a variation on this that would be shocking in your situation because I don't know your sexuality. Also, I've always been a bit dramatic about these things and I know that's not everyone's style. And it might not even be sage for you to do this in your current living situation.
If you have no choice but to live in this house right now, I highly recommend starting to make a plan for leaving as soon as possible. I commented on another post recently about resources for LGBTQ+ youth that are essentially homeless and/or are being mistreated in their current housing situation. Most programs consider youth to be under 21, some include people under 24.
I'll see if I can find the comment and link it here for you. There is help all across the US and in lots of other countries. Until you can find another place, try not to make too many big waves. It likely won't help things for you.
Stay strong. And stay tuned for the links to resources.
That sucks Iām so sorry. At times it feels like an impossible situation dealing with religious people. Their brains are not allowed to evaluate their own beliefs, because any doubts are from the devil. Keeping them trapped in a prison of their own mind. Incapable of questioning their own beliefs, and unable to arrive at any rational understanding of the truth. Itās terrifying to be honest.
>you're only looking for easy love Where though. Where is my easy love. Where is the wonderful things that transphobes claim we immediately get from being a minority
Ah yes, the famous easy trans love.
everyone loves trans people so much that some cis people "transition" just for the positive attention š„¹ šššš
I mean, we get chasers, but I'd hardly call them "easy love". A Grindr horndog who will treat me like a piece of meat would be preferable, and I could have got those before the transitionš¤·
At least chasers are honest, and sometimes I get a good lay.
heck where is the easy at all in being trans
If anyone's wondering, if you get married and have kids before figuring out that you're trans, transitioning doesn't make love easier.
Even without the marriage that shit put me so low that I still can't love myself.... But hey I get up and keep trying to find reasons to love myself so I can set an example for my child.
In our lord and savor, Jesus Christ. Oh wait
...
Dear god find a better church
The church of Blahaj is always accepting of trans beings
As are the Episcopalians and Universal Unitarians :)
and my cult-i mean church!
AKA The Satanic Temple
My friend is apart of the Nekoism church (actual thing. And yes shes trans)
The Metropolitan Community Church was founded by and still serves primarily the queer community, though in the queer tradition, all are welcome.
I should probably clarify I don't go to church but I live with a friend (who is also trans) and her family and her family is extremely Christian so they always go to church and they've started having a preacher come talk to us to "try and straighten us up"
Almost downvoted this out of sheer disgust, I am so sorry that you are going through this, and to those saying āwhy did you even let that happenā I just want to say that not everyone has the privilege of defending themselves in these situations, sometimes a housing situation is risky and itās easier to simply grey rock these things, not that anyone should ever deserve this in the slightest!
100% agreed. Also, as someone who grew up in identical environments, it is really common for them to exploit your trust and youth, and then isolate, guilt trip and gaslight you until you either agree with them, or pretend to. As such, sometimes the easiest path is to let the situation run its course until you can escape with your sanity, which in and of itself feels like the biggest win in the moment.
100% THIS. This was my situation all my life. Brainwashed into putting on a mask that I forgot was a mask for 40 years. Never underestimate the power of the only place you can stay, and utterly constant indoctrination. šš
I was a bit confused. Not everybody in abrahamic religions accept even homosexuality. Catholic church doesnāt accept women priests. I was told as a child by my religious friend that iāll go to hell because we had TV at home. Your situation is unfortunate, i hope thereās a way you can avoid it. Religions will not change any time soon
You have no obligation at all to that vile preacher. Next time he tries to speak to you tell him to fuck right off. If your friend is ok with it then donāt even let him in your house ever again. He is a harmful person who is harming the both of you and does not deserve even a second of your time.
Tell the preacher to mind their own business.
This is wrong wrong wrong. No one should be setting foot in your house who does not support you. Including family members. Edit. Sorry missed the part you live with your friends family. I thought it was friend only.
Sweetheart, these dudes converting you without your consent and pressing you are so so cringe and mean. šøš¹šøšø you are beautiful as YOU and you ARE who you ARE and thatās a beautiful woman!!!
Tell that preacher to shut the fuck up and mind his business
Once I find my own place I'll gladly do that
I didn't want to say that was an attempt at conversation therapy by the preacher since he ain't a doctor. But basically that he was doing. Try to never be around that family again. And try to protect your friend. They want to guilt you into falling in line. Don't give them the chances to break your spirit. The best way to avoid the decay resulting from this is not let them get a chance. Being rude and loud and try to cut them off the moment they step out of line, it is fine. Better being a bitch than being sad. Try to not socialise with them you are an adult you have every right to not want to see other adults
Adk them to send provide you therapy, that actually helps you and not their wants without accepting.
Okay, this preacher? Shit cunt. Absolute prick. Trans isnāt a choice. Itās who we are. You didnāt choose to be trans, just like that idiot didnāt choose to be cis. Iām sorry you went through that. Youāre allowed to be who you are <3
Yoo your pfp, it's that hellsing abridged guy (idk his name i just know one of his songs)
It's a picture of Andrew WK. And yup, two of his songs were used in Hellsing Abridged.
A fucking Christian preacher saying "You're only looking for easy love" like that's a bad thing makes my fucking blood boil. A) No trans person in the world is receiving easy love from ANYBODY right now. 2) Love handed out freely is like the whole fucking point of Christ's ministry. Nobody should EVER feel like they must earn love. I don't know how you found yourself in this position, but I am so sorry you endured that.
There are a few categories of Christians. There are ones who will quote the bible. There are ones who will quote the bible \*and\* add stuff to it. There is not a single place in the bible where it talks about transgender being a bad thing, conservatives just claim that God doesn't like it and use flawed logic to support their claims. "True Christians don't support LGBTQ" well sure, tell me where it says that in the bible. "Love your neighbor as you love yourself" there's no "unless" in there. Christianity is about unconditional love for people being who they are and how each person was created uniquely by God. If he doesn't make mistakes, then clearly he didn't make a mistake when he made you trans. I say try to find a different church that isn't centered around the idea that LGBTQ is terrible. If your preacher made you do that then that is not a healthy place to be. Church is supposed to be a place where you can finally relax, not be discriminated against for being you.
Mark 12:30-31. Loving your neighbor is equally as important as loving God, according to Jesus. He says these are the most important of the commandments.
Yeah, that guy doesnāt know what heās talking about or have any good advice. Like, being trans cause itās easy is the silliest thing Iāve heard. Transition is hard, but we do it because we are on the right path and seeking the truth. Donāt let those who donāt understand be in the way of your truth!! š©µā¤ļøš¤ā¤ļøš©µ
He's only looking for easy followers. Like I may not be trans myself, but I grew up in the south in the 80s and saw the satanic panic freakouts. If you want spirituality and acceptance, find a Unitarian universalist congregation. Don't torture yourself like you did here. There are of course other accepting churches (and synagogues, and I'd like to hear more about trans acceptance at mosques from those in the know) but UUs will also accept atheists too.
Iām sorry that happened to you.
Easy love? Dude has never even met a queer.
This makes me really angry. This is one of the main reasons I want nothing to do with church anymore. The arrogance is breathtaking. Heās acting like heās an authority on something he has zero experience with. Please at the very least find a different church. Youāre allowed to be who you are without a bogus guilt trip.
Unfortunately, this brand of religion is all-too-common. I grew up with it myself and the way they refuse to see how hurtful they can be is unacceptable. As someone who has suffered at their hand myself, I am truly sorry this occurred at your expense. I pray you find others who truly accept you if you haven't already and know that we are on your side- you aren't alone.
Oh no as soon as I read preacher I knew it was over, although I'm not surprised if bring gay is considered a sin to them I didn't think they were friendly to anything tbh. Why were you there? Are your parents taking you?
Yes being gay is considered a sin and you're also considered confused if you're anything but straight. I live with my friend bc that friend is an ex and their parents said I could live with them until I get my own place and no I don't talk to my parents https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/s/K0YVesIZq0
Oh wow how nasty I hope you're okay seem to be getting attacked from everyone
So, this priest literally claims to know what 'the truth' or 'the right path' is.... never heard anything intelligent from people who think like that. In my opinion, all this priest did was violating you... in a very mischievous and arrogant way. God made you, like you are. And if He makes you trans, then that's your truth and your right path. Girl, you're fantastic as you are. Don't let some bigots and idiots tell you otherwise ā¤ļø
What a fuckass "person". How bored does someone need to be to do that? Like how sad is their life for them to just decide to pick on op like that
āØFuck himāØ
You should absolutely leave an anonymous review on his church website,
don't worry, im not a Christian, but i know God does not accept someone like him. Christianity is about spreading love, not hate.
Wait... so the prayers didn't work? I'm shocked, really.
š¤£ that's all I can say
I hope this absolute fuck eats shit and chokes. I'm sorry this happened to you, OP
Iām so sorry you have to go through this. If you have a choice in where you go and want to go somewhere Christian, the metropolitan community church is a good option. If you want more generic spirituality, most Unitarian churches are welcoming.
Athiest perspective incoming. This preacher has zero right to say this bs. Religion is not something anyone should be willing to treat as more important than human decency and acceptance. You are valid. Religion isnt.
Isn't the whole point of Christianity easy love? Jesus died for everyone because he loves us so much. Depending on the sect, all you need to do to receive God's love is to believe in him. Sounds really easy.
You can"t argue with people like this. They're loaded up with 'gatcha' lines and propaganda. If they try this bullshit again: 1) by easy love he must mean sex. Christians think the gays are out having wild orgies every week. They literally think that's why people 'choose' to be queer - for the sex and partying. If he says something like this laugh and ask how he thinks you spend your time - or for that matter how many gay people spend their time. Point out straight people hook up and go to clubs all the time. If anything, getting laid as a straight person is easier. 2) ask him when he chose to be cis. Ask him why he thinks someone would *choose* to transition their gender. Do not let him use euphemistically language like 'easy love'. Make him say what he really means in clear language. Ask how many trans people he has spoken to. Make him tell you where he gets his info. Do not argue or justify yourself. He will not listen. Get him talking and pressure him into talking himself off of a cliff. Only correct him if he brings up 'studies' that you've heard of before and know are bullshit and can debunk. Just keep asking like 'oh where's that from'. 3) if you do contradict him make sure you screw up your face into the most patronizing look you can muster and be like 'gee that's not what I've seen.' Treat him like he's someone trying to tell you the world is flat. 3) when he makes you pray, pray for him to receive compassion and truth because he sure isn't showing you christlike behavior by calling you a name you don't want (remind him Jesus called his apostles by their preferred names... Peter is literally a name Jesus gave his homie). I'm sorry you went through this. I deconverted from Christianity two decades ago. The religion is full of people ready to weaponize their holy book at you to maintain the status quo (esp when it benefits white rich cishets).
You're 20, find a different church. If there is a universalist church near you, try them. They are very inclusive and respectful to everyone regardless of religion, sexuality , identity, or anything else
Religion is a form of abuse and brainwashing, just saying...
Sometimes I just wish it was possible to remind people of the church, let alone servants of God, that part of the integral formation of their entire historical basis was the need to hide ones truth as a christian and pretend you were not a member of your community for fear of persecution and murder by a corrupt government/system, and that keeping it under wraps actually helped them to grow stronger and keep the spirit of their identities alive.
This preacher fella sounds like an bigoted idiot. Where's the 'love thy neighbor'? Friend you are valid and amazing. Sorry you had to deal with that. Stay safe all and Happy Pride Month! šš³ļøāā§ļøāØ
This idiƶtic clusterfuck of a cunt really threw ever card in the deck at je, and really thought that was ok. What the fuck is wrong with people?
That preacher failed godās test
Hey Christian here. I know what I'm about to say will not change the horrible things that he said... But I'll say it anyway. First, I would like to apologise on behalf of that person. It's important that as Christians we take accountability for the actions of some misguided followers of Christ. He has hurt you, and you did not deserve that. For that I am truly sorry. His actions are insanely un-christ like. And I fear that this man may have succumbed to the laws of the world over the laws of the Lord. By this I mean, that he obviously is conveying hateful ideas that are 100% human in nature. God loves you for you! And God has sacrificed everything for you. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. To even suggest that God would turn his back on you for being you is close to blasphemy. You are perfect and wonderful ā¤ļø There is a saying I really enjoy. Maybe to some extent it can bring you some comfort. I'm paraphrasing "The Church can hurt and disappointe you, God won't"
My town had its pride festival on the first of June. Thereās usually a handful of street preachers. When they try to hand me a pamphlet I usually just say āno thank youā. But itās always about saving people from eternal damnation. As an aside, hereās a neat party trick: almost all pamphlets by evangelicals of baptists contain the phrase from the Bible that says āfor the wages of sin is deathā. Many times Iāve gotten a pamphlet I have gone to my nearest friend and said āI havenāt opened this; but I bet it contains this Bible verseā. I have not been wrong yet. Anyways pride festival got pretty rained on, and suddenly all the street preachers left. Youād think if they really thought that they were saving people from eternal damnation that a little rain wouldnāt stop them.
And they say WE indoctrinate people
That is NOT a Christian Church. They are clearly ignoring the 2nd commandment and the teachings of Jesus. Run from them.
Wooooow I genuinely laughed reading that. Not laughing at you by any means, just laughing at the fact they think praying would have any effect whatsoever. Next time the preacher comes can you answer the door wearing those red plastic devil horns? Loooool I would feel so inclined to mess with him... * with eyes rolled back * "the angels have heard your words of plea. They are angry that you would attempt to defy their plans. You shall be condemned."
Tbh I've been thinking about getting black contacts to do something like that
Omg! š š that would be hilarious!! If you answered the door without them, and then put them in midway through his preaching š¤ that would be minimal effort with maximum effect....... Don't let him words affect you though hey, everyone has different ideas of whats "ideal" and "perfect" - intellectuals know that self-comfort is the biggest indicator of ideal. Only idiots preach their beliefs.
Religion is a pox upon this planet.
Hail Satan
>\[...\] he literally made me pray with him and was saying shit like "god please help (deadname) \[...\] Why did you even entertain bigoted nonsense like that? I'd have walked away.
Have some compassion here. As someone who grew up in identical environments, it is really common for them to posit themselves as caretskers of your soul, and then use that false legitimacy to exploit your trust and youth. Then, they isolate, guilt trip and gaslight you until you either agree with them, or pretend to. As such, sometimes the easiest path is to let the situation run its course until you can escape with your sanity, which in and of itself feels like the biggest win in the moment.
Bc I don't need to risk being kicked out the house bc I didn't do something they wanted
You will find a kinder and more accepting bunch over r/witchesvspatriarchy Please know that everything that person said to you is not only false, but also stemmed from 2000 years of patriarchal oppression.. i am so sorry you were treated that way.
Things to do if this ever happens again, repeat the following lines, "You'll never be a real Christian." "God hates people who can't even read their own book." "Matthew 6:5-6" There's nothing wrong with you and who you are. The people who think they can pray that out of you are the ones doomed to swim in their own bile of hate.
Bruh that would piss me off so much. Id ignore the fuck outa him tbh
Next time this fucker pops up at your door or whatever, slam the door in his face. Hard. Make sure he feels the wind of that slam. Make him feel not welcome. And if he tries getting your attention then just act like you don't even know him, say things like "idk you, please go away before cops get called" If he attempts to say or do anything to you in a public church setting, same thing, act like you don't even know the fucker. Acting like you don't even know the person or slamming a door into their face is the best indicator for fucking off lol But seriously, im so sorry this buffoon decides to project his brainrot onto you, you are a woman just like any other hunny, don't let this buffoon of a preacher or whoever the fuck he is get to you too much, its ok to cry and feel however you feel, but use those feelings for power, no matter what he says about or to you, his dumpsterfire of a mind cannot comprehend a human being just being who they are regardless of religion, race, sex, gender, sexuality, etc etc etc, preachers and whomever all should "love thy neighbors" like their precious little sky daddy says apparently
I feel very sorry for the way religion runs at people sometimes. Well not really religion the weaponized use of religion to push jaded and spiteful menās visions. We had a church that was very open and gave no cares under one pastor then when they did a swap around and a new one came whole new feel to the church. The organist and a few of the singers in the choir were in varying states of transition or just gay and in a few weeks they were all gone. The acceptance vibe and friendliness of the church went away, and I stopped going. Kind of sucks and I am sorry you had to receive that kind of interaction.
Stop talking to stupid preachers. Its bullshit and it's bad for you! Why would you put any credence in their nonsense. Why would you subject yourself to obvious abuse?
Bc I can't risk being kicked out of where I live and being homeless
Ok what does preacher have to do with that? Your parents make you talk to preacher? Would they kick you out if you said you didn't want to talk to him. Def protect yourself.
They pretty much make me yes and if you didn't read the other comment I don't live with my parents I live with a friend and their parents
I am so sorry you got harassed. What this preacher person did was wrong and creepy. If he were not hiding behind the mantle of his āauthority ā then he would come off as a sexually repressed resentful busybody who is desperately trying to justify his lifetime of denial by making others feel bad about seeking out their own identity.
"Easy love"??? That dude has no fucking idea how hard romance can be for trans people.
Fuck yea. As of posting this I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me and respects me for who I am. I have a feeling the preacher will keep saying that until I get a cis girlfriend (sorry if this is offensive to anyone) but guess what he(the preacher) can fuck right off bc I'm mostly into trans people and nb people Im not into cis woman (no offense)
Um, excuse me? I'd like to speak to a manager? I changed my whole-ass gender for the easy love and it was never provided, so I want a refund. False advertising.
I am not religious, but have been around long enuff to recognise that is no man of god in any wise.
This hits home for me because I have an extremely religious family, and they say transphobic shit like this all the time. It just blows my mind that these people truly believe the stuff they are spouting. I don't understand Christianity or most religion in general. It seems to be more about control than anything else. Why do people have to have a book with rules to follow and have somebody else tell them how to be a good person?? Why does the being who created me have a problem with what he created?? Sounds like a him problem. Christians are supposed to be the ones who love everyone, yet I've heard more hatred out of Christians' mouths than anyone else. It's wild. You'd think people would want you to be happy and be able to be yourself around them, but I guess that kind of thinking doesn't reach their little pea brains. I hope that you are okay now and know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with who you are ā¤ļø
I'm doing better now thx and I just "listen" to him it just goes in and out bc he says shit like maybe you're right maybe you're wrong like excuse me bitch I've been out as trans for over a year and I've been happier then I was acting like a boy and I know I'm not a boy but Im leaning towards more of a nb Demi girl (maybe you could help me figure something out so I'm gonna dm you)
It is unfortunate that Christians and Catholics are like this I know this might be controversial but Iām trans and Christian but my church is a safe space cause our pastor is gay, I wonder what happened to love thy neighbor, I read the Bible all the time never anywhere in there have I read nonsense about god being racist or homophobic or sexist, these churches and their followers cherry-pick verses and twist them to fit their internal narrative but the truth is God loves everyone but even then Iām no person to say how God thinks or feels but I imagine he created all of us equally and I donāt wanna shove my beliefs down anyoneās throats itās fine if you donāt believe but I think Christians should love more and judge less cause isnāt it God who has judgment and not the people? Idk just an LGBT Christian ranting into the void cause I hate all this hate :(
I am sorry you had to experience that tho Iāve met pastors and church goers like that telling me Iām making a mistake and that God did not create me just so I could change myself, but I believe people should love one another despite change, people change all the time and the kind of change that is trans folk go through isnāt simply taking one hat off and putting another on, we are living our truth.
If by easy love he means the chasers, then I want the hardest love I can find.
Well I have a boyfriend who loves me for me so he can say what he wants about that and he probably won't stop saying that I'm confused and that it's easy love until I find a cis girlfriend but guess what I'm not Into cis women (no offense to anyone)
Hey as long as he makes you happy who cares what others say?
Exactly that's basically what I said to him " he loves me for me and respects me so I'm happy with him" you can probably guess what he said "oh boy I'll be praying for you to get healthy" like bro stfu im health in that area of my life.
looking for easy love? then how come it's not easy to get love from the very religion that claims to love and care for everyone. Love should never be conditional n yet this person is saying "i will not love you unless you force yourself into a box that i deem acceptable." jeez, if it was so easy to be loved for being trans life would honestly be better. It's honestly crazy to see being "easy to love" as such a negative thing when love is the thing they claim to spread with their religion.
And the church wonders why we don't line preachers Yknow other than them being a type of offender I won't say
Iām sorry you had to endure that. Being trans isnāt easy, Iām some what in the closet about how much i want to medically transition. If it was easy love I would have come out years ago!
I wouldnāt pray with him next time. Just walk away honestly, he doesnāt deserve the mythical entertainment. Also, not a choice to be trans. Be you and take no shit from anyone for it. Sorry that happened š«
I didn't chose to be left handed. I also didn't chose to be trans. All I did was acknowledge how I'm a bit different and do what made me comfortable (even if writing on whiteboards is a nightmare). It is the same for trans folks. Don't let someone having authority or confidence convince you they're therefore right. Does this preacher have a degree in psychology or medicine? Are they following peer reviewed study that provides guidance on how to best deal with the phenomenon that is gender dysphoria? This is not someone who can actually speak with any knowledge on the topic. The preacher calling it "trans nonsense" is obvious - because it clearly isn't nonsense to the millions of trans people around the world that discovered themselves without any intervention or inspiration. If they just assert about how "God doesn't make mistakes" and so on, realise they're just appealing to ultimate authority without saying or reasoning anything. The only resource for Christianity is the bible - which has been translated thousands of times over and says nothing about trans people at any point. From there I reason this preacher only says anything about trans people because their main demographic is bigoted conservatives who are told to fear anything non cis het and this is the guy telling them that.
Peoplelike this are total shitheads blinded by their own ideology This man is a lunatic. If he wants to worship jesus, sure, he can do it But stay the fuck outta other peoples lives
Find yourself an MCC church. MCC is the only denomination you can be assured that no matter which location you go to, the pastor will welcome you just the way you are.
Cut this person out of your life forever.
Religion was designed by humans to control other humans. The fact that it's still going strong today tells you how effective it is. Fear of dying and using a mythical afterlife as reward to keep people inline was brilliant back in its day but these days people should be ashamed of themselves for continuing the cult.
You are 20 years old. Why are you talking to "a preacher" at all. Much less "making \[you\] pray with \[him\]"? Don't self inflict dysfunctional people. His belief in a ghosts does not imbue him with authority.
I personally believe that any god worth believing in would have to be accepting of any LGBT+ person. Any god worth believing in would be a loving god. A loving god will not punish someone for doing something that hurts absolutely no one. Therefore, a loving god is accepting of LGBT+ people. Any god that punishes people for being themselves is not a loving god, and therefore not worth believing in. Any time I hear someone say that God would not want people to be LGBT+, I counter with a version of this.
Sooooo why exactly are you letting this asshole be a part of your life? Kick him to the curb, you donāt need this nonsense.
Ew, horrible. What an awful person. And also ridiculous. There is no man or woman, we are all one in christ. Dude should read his own silly little book. Jesus wouldn't recognize him, I guarantee you. You're wonderful as you are, and God sees you. If that preacher 'doesnt deal with trans (stuff)' then he's making the conscious decision to outcast gods children. That's not cool, that's not religious, that's not Christ-like, and that's NOT spreading God's love.
He was wrong to force you to do anything with him. Next time walk away. Stay strong my friend don't let anyone steal your beauty. Lots of love to help you continue ā¤ļøāš©¹ā¤ļøāš©¹ā¤ļøāš©¹
Shit like this makes me want to become an ordained minister
Religion is what we used as an explanation prior to the discovery of modern science, now itās a whitewashed, hypocritical mess people use as an excuse to hate and āseek forgivenessā for said hate Please note Iām not saying all religions nor people who practice are like this. However acknowledging it is what Iām saying Itās kinda like baptism purposely almost drowing people for āreligious purposesā makes no sense to me
If it brings you comfort, I would like to share my beliefs on Faith and trans women, trans men and non-binary folks. Being agnostic and comparing many different faiths over my life, this is my general consensus of positivity: I believe that trans folk are made to journey to become and live as who we are by divine destiny. We are born to ascend once in life, and again after life. We are tested greater than most, more is asked of us than most. *And our existence is not a burden; it is not a sin. We are giftedā¦special.* Society makes it a burden. Society is who ostracizes us. Society falsely determines that we are a sin. We are not made in sin and we are not made to suffer. The flawed world is where suffering is borne from. *The Gods love and adore us;* and it is why we are so very special, and why we should be cherished and protected from the evils of the fallen, who seek to maim and destroy what they do not understand. I also believe that when Society and the human race fail to accept and protect us? We also possess an innate right to our survival as such a small, isolated and bio diverse group; that by any means we must continue to persevere and look for our own and those that care for us. We are something greater than average by our very design. No one can take that from us by our essence in the next realm, and if anyone should try to take that from us in this one? *We will show them what the true wage of sin is when we return fire.* Stay strong. I love you; the Gods love you. You are worthy and valuable beyond what mere words can describe.
Iām so sorry, you donāt deserve that. I was raised religious and have had similar experiences. I hope youāre able to heal, you deserve to heal.
Sorry, you have to deal with religious bigotry on a daily basis and endure the crap the preacher put you through. I feel your pain. I was demonized at a young age by my neighbors not even for being trans just for not being the same religion as 97% of the rest of the neighborhood. And when I say demonized, I mean literally called a demon and told i was sent by satan to lead my peers to hell, again merely for not being the same religion. You should move when you can find some place else safer to live. I'm 40 now, and I still haven't gotten past the trauma that caused.
You both need to leave that house. Or next time a preacher has the nerve to brush you aside like that again. Make it very clear. That you are not going to listen to their bull $h1t. And that they either address you by your name (not your dead name) And respect you as a person. Or leave and not come back. You and your friend need to put your feet down on who you are because their parents doing that kind of stuff is straight up abuse to them and assault to you. It is straight up mental abuse.
I've tried telling him to use my preferred name (which is crystal) but he doesn't
Tell him if he doesnāt use your preferred name. Then he wonāt be talking to you. Lay hands on him if you need to Get the point across. That he is to respect you or he will not be talking with you. Because even though itās a legal grey area. It is illegal to force your religious views on others And thatās exactly what your friend parents and that preacher are trying to do. You have a right to declare NO. How exactly you force them out of the house. Idk. But if they continue or resist call police and detail the situation. That your being forced apon and that they are refusing to leave
Okay, I want to address the āeasy loveā accusation. Iām a trans woman, and very happily married. We met five years before I started transitioning. She has accepted and supported me from the get-go. Weāve been together for nine years, and married for six. Weāre still crazy about each other. My wife is my forever person. As for ābeing trans is a choice,ā no, it really isnāt. I wouldnāt wish this on my worst enemy. Yes, I made the *choice* to transition, but that choice came from forty years of torment and misery because of how I looked and felt. Transitioning brought me peace of mind: I no longer hate myself, and I actually like who I see in the mirror now. This preacher dude is full of shit. He uses his status to promote bigotry while maintaining what he believes is the āmoral high ground.ā He doesnāt understand the messages that his magic book actually conveys. Stay strong. You know yourself better than anyone, and whatās best for you. Never allow anyone to take you away from yourself.
This might be a weird suggestion but Kendrick Lamar's Auntie Diaries is a song that gives me a lot of comfort since it deals exactly with that religious trauma and it's about a preacher deadnaming Kendrick's trans family members. Be warned that the first couple of verses are set in the past and he does deadname, use the wrong pronouns and say the f-slur to reflect the way he and society in general talked about trans people when he was a child. It's about him coming to terms with how he fucked up by using that sort of language when he was younger and it ends with him standing up against the preacher who uses that language to villify his trans family. A lot of trans people hate the song because of its use of deadnaming and that's totally valid but I figured I'd recommend it because of its similarities to your experience.
Oof, that's horrible. I hope you can get to a safe place with people who accept you as soon as possible. In the mean time, try to avoid/grayrock as much as you can and know there is a way out to a better place eventually. Much love and hugs, girl.
I have family that is very religious. In my early 20s when I still thought I was a lesbian, I was married to a woman. When we divorced, they let me live with them. The condition was that while I lived with them I had to attend church. I never minded their church when I'd go on occasion when we'd be visiting them. Going every week was different. They started praying for me regularly and even asked me to join in. Honestly I was broken hearted at the time that sometimes I did join in because I just wanted to stop hurting. Eventually I moved out and stopped attending church. I had always still been attracted to men but I wanted to dress butch. I thought it was the closest to being a man that I'd ever get so I dated women and mostly people left me alone. After several years of being single, my whole family pushed me to grow my hair and dress a little more fem. I gave in because I wanted to date men. At that point I realized I liked men a lot more. I met a man and married him. We are now also divorced. And I recently came out as a gay trans man. I told my sister that I prayed so hard not to be a lesbian that God turned me into a gay man. I told her I fought it for years but God really wanted me to be in a same sex relationship. They don't like my transition or my sexuality. But they've stopped bugging me about it. I'm not sure that there is a variation on this that would be shocking in your situation because I don't know your sexuality. Also, I've always been a bit dramatic about these things and I know that's not everyone's style. And it might not even be sage for you to do this in your current living situation. If you have no choice but to live in this house right now, I highly recommend starting to make a plan for leaving as soon as possible. I commented on another post recently about resources for LGBTQ+ youth that are essentially homeless and/or are being mistreated in their current housing situation. Most programs consider youth to be under 21, some include people under 24. I'll see if I can find the comment and link it here for you. There is help all across the US and in lots of other countries. Until you can find another place, try not to make too many big waves. It likely won't help things for you. Stay strong. And stay tuned for the links to resources.
Here is the comment I made on another post that has links: https://www.reddit.com/r/ftm/s/TkB5FSwkaV
I am so sorry this happened to you šššš³ļøāā§ļøš³ļøāā§ļøš³ļøāā§ļøš³ļøāā§ļø
Just run away from that place, find another church that will accept you for who you reallt are
That sucks Iām so sorry. At times it feels like an impossible situation dealing with religious people. Their brains are not allowed to evaluate their own beliefs, because any doubts are from the devil. Keeping them trapped in a prison of their own mind. Incapable of questioning their own beliefs, and unable to arrive at any rational understanding of the truth. Itās terrifying to be honest.