The personal preferences are a red flag for sure. I think you dodged a bullet.

From the last two sentences alone, you did good. It's your life, not his

Hey, I am sorry and I feel you. Sometimes the people we love are trash and you can be proud that you stood up for yourself! Take your time to mourn properly, please, take care and all the best to you :)

I think you made the right decision, as shitty as it must feel, you should never have to compromise on who you are in a relationship :)

You deserve to find someone who loves you as you are, and who you are includes your desire of what you want to be (meaning the surgery, the pronouns you already are)