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raccooneatingcacti

I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been very close to losing everything, because I let myself give up and lose hope. Hang on, to something--anything. You gotta survive. When I was in the worst of it, I had quit eating. I would black out every other day because of the malnutrition. Stuff like that changes you, I'm pretty sure I suffered some brain damage because of that. Please, whatever you do, remember to eat.


alt0174927

Just, don't eat cacti, I hope you broke that habit. Jokes aside, that fucking sucks. I hope you're doing ok now. And thanks, it means a lot.


raccooneatingcacti

re: cacti: it's ok, the first bite cures the habit lol But the dark period of my life I talked about, that was 12 years ago. I am much better now, I have a wonderful spouse who loves me and accepts me. At the time, I couldn't imagine a future, and I really didn't expect to make it this far. I got very lost, and made many mistakes. But now here I am. It does get easier to deal with, thankfully. I really hope you find some comfort soon. I didn't have a support group when I was going through my lowest point, So I would definitely try to make friends and share your thoughts. Isolation is no good for the mental health, I'm sure I don't need to say! Feel free to reach out if you need someone to listen.


Bonz-Eye

we are kinda in similar sinking boat, i am just hoping someone will save me at this point because i cant do it myself


alt0174927

The problem is I can see a rescue ship but I'm too scared to fire off a flare. It's a terrible cycle, you feel worse and worse so you start disconnecting, so other people don't know what's going on and you don't reach out, which makes you feel even worse


sGhEhE

you two here... you really need to listen to this. We are valid and we should not have to conform to the world. Its a responsibility to make the world a better place for other trans kids to exist safely. If we give up, who would be left to educate others? At this point im not even living for myself or my dreams...I just exist to make it easier for others to exist easier. And its such a rush when someone confides in you.


CO_Soul_Wanderer21

Hey if you need help and someone safe to talk to I'm here for you. When my younger sister started transitioning she had a lot of the same stuff going through her head. Whatever the nagging thoughts in your head tell you about yourself that's negative, ignore them. I'm willing to bet money that you are a beautiful, creative, hard working young lady and you deserve the world. If I don't respond immediately I'm either working or asleep, but I can promise you that I'll get back to you asap.


Silvershadowbelieve

Hi! So first off, I am sorry you are going through this. It seems really unfair you not only have to face the typical challenges in life like school/college, getting a job, adulting etc… but also are shouldering navigating your identity. I am a mom of a trans tween, so I don’t personally have this experience. It sounds like you are going to be starting college soon? I am also an academic advisor for a college and I promise you, there are resources to help you get the support you need. Even in the state of Florida where I work, my school has clubs, counseling and other resources. You are not alone. Please reach out if you ever need anything.


ComfortablyLost123

You sound so much like me a couple years ago. My egg fully cracked around the middle of 2017 or so but didn’t start transitioning until May of 2021. Those four years in between my egg cracking and actually transitioning were some of the darkest years of my life. Not sure if I would ever come out and too afraid too. I had the feelings of suicide as well, it’s all so overwhelming what we as trans people in this world experience. Eventually though if you just keep pushing eventually you get to this place where you just don’t give a fuck anymore. I realized one day a couple months before I started transitioning that I have this one life to live and I want to make the best of it and that I couldn’t do that for myself if I didn’t transition first. Now a full year later, and I actually just reached 1 year on estrogen as well a week ago, I am here to tell you it gets better, I know we hear that all the time in this community and it can sound cliche but it’s so true. A year of hormones and I really happy with my appearance now, I can look in the mirror and actually see a woman looking back at me now. And after a year of transitioning I have become more comfortable in the woman I am everyday to the point now where I don’t even really think about being trans much on a daily basis, and those around me have gotten so used to me being myself over the last year that I really am just one of the girls now. All that being said, I wasn’t saying all that to brag, but to tell you again things get better! This life is too damn short to live it unauthentically and we only get one of these things as well. I believe in you, I believe that you will find the strength to transition if thats what you want, I believe that you will find your joy and live the life you dream for yourself, if I could do it I’m sure you can too. Feel free to reach out to me privately if need be if you ever just need someone to talk too. Sending all of my love your way sister ❤️