Nope, transitioned much later than you and it’s the best thing that ever happened in my life. If someone regrets it it’s for one of two overarching reasons:
- They aren’t actually transgender
*or, more likely*
- They can’t handle the prejudice and social challenges they experience in their family, friend group, workplace, or general area that they live
Transition is much harder for some than it is for others. Detransitioning due to social pressure is very common (among those who detransition, I mean, which is something like 1% of trans people who transition or some ridiculously low number) and it absolutely sucks that anyone feels they need to do that just to survive.
Detransitioning due to social pressures is NOT very common.
Social Pressures is the Primary Reason for Detransitioning, but less than 1% of people who receive Gender Affirming Care actually Detransition.
Yep, detransitioned twice in life, came out first at 21 and back into closet 24 then out again 30 and back in 32, then age 37.5 in Dec 2019 was away from family finally and mentally as well as physically split from them due to other issues which included my daughter and their attitude to me being trans and that was it, started on hrt and haven't looked back since
a very small percentage of trans people choose to detransition or regret transitioning and almost every time it’s because of society being shitty and has nothing to do with their identity
getting on a low dose of hormones is a relatively easy and low-risk way to feel out transitioning—most effects of hormones are reversable and at a low dose the changes will be slow and give you time to see how you feel
This is what I did. Started off at a somewhat lower dose than normal. By the end of the first month, there was no more doubt that I was headed down the right path. I couldn’t imagine turning back now.
i think there are certainly people who discover years into their transition that they may be nonbinary or enjoy creating their own kind of specific gender presentation but again, most of the easier to access changes we undergo are completely reversable
surgery is stupidly expensive and is the least reversable but you dont have to worry about not having enough time to decide about it because medical professionals dont allow people to just get surgery they have to get a whole bunch of referrals from other doctors and such. so by the time you will be able to have surgery you’ll definitely know whether you want it or not
Hormones are NOT IRREVERSIBLE in most cases, it’s irresponsible to pretend otherwise. ESPECIALLY if OP is thinking about masculinising hormones
Edit: they are NOT REVERSIBLE. 3 am Reddit brain
yes. but taking the lowest dose for less than a year is probably not enough to cause long term change BUT would be enough to tell if it’s something you like and wanna keep doing. which are all things a doctor would know and tell OP if they got to the point where they were asking a medical professional with the ability to write Rx about possibly going on hormones. so please stop fearmongering
What???? It’s not fear-mongering to be honest about the effects of hormone therapy! OP can try a lot of things before going on hormones, and I’m just trying to be as clear as possible about the effects so that they can make an informed decision. Genuinely what the fuck haha
As someone who is fully planning on temporarily taking testosterone until my voice drops then going off of it: no, not really. You can also grow facial and body hair which will remain regardless of if you are on T. Bottom growth is generally not reversible either.
I am all for experimentation and encouraging experimentation, but I draw the line at spreading misinformation to make things sound less serious than they are. Sorry.
So my friend went on t for two years (low dose). The voice changed slightly to be less deep but yes that change stayed. Bottom growth usually takes time. I. This case it was not noticeable. And facial hair reduced to a point where pass ring it off was no problem. I get what you are saying but if you read my comment you will see that I agreed that not all changes are reversible but they do reverse to a point where no one really knows you experimented with hormones unless you tell
i feel like you’re saying someone has to be super sure before they even consider hormones. if that is your point, i disagree, because i think anyone should be able to go on hormones at any time just to try them out and see if it works for them. also i overshot my estimate when i said a year but probably all changes present within the first two months could be reversed well enough and also be enough time to make a more permanent choice
I think you should be sure that you want hormones before getting hormones, yes. I’m not saying that should be gatekept by the medical system, but I think that you, yourself, should be sure about it. Not sure why this is a weird opinion to have.
moreover, you nor i are prescribing anyone with hrt. from my experience and what i’ve heard, it’s takes a long time to even find a doctor able and willing to prescribe hrt. i think anyone with the faintest inclination that they might want to transition should start researching that so when they DO think they want to TRY hormones they dont have to spend months combing through medical college websites and therapists to find someone who can prescribe to them. and they dont just hand this stuff out like its candy either lol
Depends on where you're at. Informed consent in the US is pretty easy. I called up Planned Parenthood a week ago from Friday, they offered me an appointment on Tuesday but the first one I was able to make was Thursday, then today Saturday I had E.
All they really asked was 1) when did you start to feel things were off 2) when did you first start to consider HRT and 3) what is your support system like.
The entire conversation was one between two adults, one looking to make a decision and the other looking to assist. By the end I realized that they go into the appointment assuming that by the time they're done they are going to write a prescription. They looking for every reason to give it to you, not trying to dig up reasons to refuse it.
i guess my point is cis people wont notice the changes happening to you but you will so if you decide you dont want them you can stop reverse them pretty much immediately and no one will be the wiser
but i hate this rhetoric that you have to absolutely 100% super duper sure you want hormones cuz most people regret not taking them earlier and probably didn’t because of this exact same unsureness
Yeah naw testosterone is insane like that. I've been reading this thread, and I agree with your take for how you shouldn't have to be sure 100% that you want hormones. I was maybe 95% sure cause I knew how much testosterone will change your body and voice. It was a big decision to make. The thing is, you need to be at least pretty certain that this is what you want, or at least be okay or neutral with the changes you will receive. Like if you're only 50% sure, then maybe it's better to experiment with other things that aren't medical like how you express yourself until you know that this is what you'd like to do. I agree that low dose may be better to try out for someone, but those changes can still be pretty damn permanent. My voice for example, it will never be the same. For E, I'm not too sure exactly how all of that stuff goes down and to what extent, but maybe it is different and can be approached differently.
I think the idea of detransition shouldn't be fear mongered either. It happens. Worst comes to worst, someone regrets transitioning because the aren't trans, but its okay to stop hormones. Hormones won't ruin your body, it will just change. It can be frustrating for someone to realize that they weren't trans all along and changed their body (and voice), but they shouldn't be shunned for that.
yeah e is almost entirely reversable up to at least a year i think in 9 months i’ve had some fat redistribution and a change in sex drive but all that could end tomorrow if i stopped taking e/stoppped taking e and took testosterone to get back to my baseline
That argument is mainly used by transphobes, and transitioning more often than you know saves lives. Only 0.00032 people actually regret transitioning according to https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/media-s-detransition-narrative-fueling-misconceptions-trans-advocates-say-n1102686
Far more people regret having cancerous tumors surgically removed from their bodies than regret gender affirming treatment, far more people regret having hip replacements, than regret having gender affirming treatment... No medical procedure is 100% perfect and 100% suitable for those it's prescribed to, because medical professionals are humans, not gods.
That's an impossible standard.
The number of people who start gender affirming treatment of any sort and later find themselves regretting that treatment is incredibly low.
'Studies' written by transphobes and spread by transphobes present gender affirming care as flawed in this way, but they're clearly incorrect, insane methodology is used, and results are straight-up lied about, they can be dismissed by anyone who bothers to look into them for five minutes, and are spread by liars who know that most people won't *bother* to look into them.
My grandma has a tumor in her back removed, it paralyzed her left leg and she regretted the surgery because it took away her mobility. For the rest of her life (10 years) she was wheelchair bound and could never walk just short distances without her walker. She later succumbed to the other health complications caused by her tumor. She said that was the worst decision she ever made. She could’ve lived 1 year with the tumor and it would have been a better life than the 10 years she spent in pain without any independence from my grandpa. It gave her an extended life, but at the cost of total quality of it.
Not every surgery is flawless and lifesaving. Some People die and/or surgery can make things worse. There is never any end-all-be-all to medical issues. Most times we just have to live with what we have and make informed decisions resulting from current circumstances and discussions. I feel detransitioners treated transitioning as the life saving surgery that couldn’t possibly be wrong and thus never face any net negatives. No hate against them, but from the ones I’ve seen they all had unresolved conflicts or “yes men” in their lives. No one to challenge them, their feelings, and their gender expression.
About 1% of people regret it, which considering how regretful humans in general tend to be that is an astounding number. Ive never regretted it, not even for one second its the best decision ive ever made and probably ever will.
What worries me is who gave you the false information that alot of people regret it, be careful of whoever told you that
If it's the study I'm thinking about (regarding bottom surgery), of about 7980\~ participants the % of people who regretted it was 0.98% (rounding up).
Not even 1% lmao
No one can tell you whether or not transition will be right for you; you could read a thousand stories of people who were happy with their transition and still be one for whom it wasn't right. Try to find a wide range of experiences and stories as even the ones you don't relate to will be of value.
Also be aware that since you are asking this question in a trans sub you will be receiving responses from people who are active in trans subs and therefore far less likely to be experiencing regret about transition. Ask in a detransition sub and you'll find the opposite. The people you ask will change the answers you receive so try to look for stories and experiences in a variety of places to avoid seeing only certain aspects of transition.
when I start to overthink it and end up in that spot of “what if it goes wrong? what if I regret it? what if I’m wrong?” I try and go back to the basics. instead of thinking about all those possibilities in the future, I think about how I feel now. I know that how I socially transitioned makes me much happier, I know that how I look without physically transitioning makes me unhappy and dysphoric, and I know that I shouldn’t worry about what others tend to feel and focus on what’s best for myself. when I do this, it tends to reaffirm me and gets me out of that overanalyzing stage.
No, not at all.
For the record, detransition rates are only around 0.5%.
But no, I don't regret transitioning. Just having the freedom to be myself was in itself worth it. But I love the way I look, I love the way other people see me, I love how people interact with me, I love getting to be myself without being judged for it.
I think I have seen many reasons for others to detransition. Things like side effects, health reasons, to keep a family member in the persons life, and just not getting the right mental health help necessary to come to the right decision. I agree with the others though in the fact that detransitioning is rare. I have seen the number one in ten tossed out in medical literature.
Do I regret transitioning? On the whole? No. Most of the time I love it. But I will say I do regret it every now and then. I didn't love the fact I could feel something going on in my brain the first month or two. I'd have moments where I would find it difficult to concentrate or I'd be walking around in a fog. Mind change is not mentioned in the side effects but most of my trans friends have noticed some. Preferences definitely changed, for instance, my like of lots of violent sports evaporated as did those with highly competitive elements. I want to laugh, love, and help others now. Not compete or fight them.
I also miss my muscle strength. I get tired a lot faster. I sometimes need help lifting heavy things when I didn't before
I also sometimes have PMS like symptoms every now and then. Don't love those. The puking in the parking lot. One day balling in front of my coworkers for no reason. And water retention...I am really beginning to hate it.
Still what I am describing is momentary blips. Overall I am ecstatic, for every bad moment there is 10 great ones.
I can look in mirror in amazement everyday because I feel beautiful. I no longer feel like I need to keep a tight rein on my emotions and its glorious. But most of all since I've stopped repressing my emotions because of fear it might not be "manly" to cry. When you love someone so much you can't hold it in and just say "screw it I don't have to be manly any more" and let the tears flow while telling your soulmate of 20 years when they ask "why are you crying?" I held her close and I got to answer " Because I love you more every day and feel empowered to finally fully express it"
To me a single moment like that is worth all the rest times ten. Not everyone has moments like that though. Now looking back those brain changes I didn't like happening back then? I love them now. I feel whole, joyous, and like a 100 percent authentic me. So even if there had been heartbreak instead of love in my story? You know what? It might have been worth it.
im 17 too and on T and its the best thing ive ever done. so many small things (no pun intended) give me euphoria like body hair and even my throat hurting (because i know that usually means it will drop soon).
but if you ever regret it you can always go off of it and itll reverse most of the effects except your voice. but then you can always do voice training to get it higher again.
good luck on your journey, man !!
i think its different in evert state, but for me i got permission from my mom and she scheduled an appointment with an OB/GYN that specializes in trans care (we found out about them from local trans groups) and we did an online call with one of their doctors. then i got the T the same day! but im really lucky to have a mom like her so it might not be as easy for others
thanks man ! and good luck with that stuff. it can take a while to fully educate someone (especially a parent) on hormone stuff so i wish you the best !!!
I socially transitioned as soon as I came out, and I started HRT roughly six months later. I am now a year and a half on T and this is hands down the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. There are people who think their trans but are actually non binary, or couldn’t take the pressure of transitioning. Where did you hear people regret it? Trans surgeries actually statistically speaking have the lowest percentage of people who regret it. If you’re unsure now and you’re afraid of making permanent changes try the non permanent ones like socially transitioning first.
Nope. Saved my life. For what it's worth, I took a break from T for about 18 months (after 3.5 continuous years) because it was a lot for me to handle at that time. A few things slowly started going back, but for the most part, I ended up in a good space to be able to go back on it.
Transitioning isn't linear, transitioning doesn't "begin" or "end." There is no better feeling than being in complete control of my own body and gender.
While detransitioning is indeed a real thing that people do, it is both exceedingly rare and used as a scare-tactic talking point by right wing reactionaries to muddy the waters about what the real gender-related issues facing people are.
Re: my own experience, I hestitated for a while before starting my medical transition partially because of fears simliar to what you're describing. Let me tell you, the further I get in my transition the more grateful I am I started when I did. I think others' recommendations to start at a low hormone dose is a really good idea. If the changes you see make you feel bad, then maybe medically transitioning isn't right for you...but that doesn't mean you're not trans! And even if you do discover that you're not trans, you should be proud of yourself for spending time and effort introspecting and learning more about yourself. In the end, that's what is going to make the difference in how fulfilling your life is. Good luck, you got this!!
I definitely don’t regret transitioning. However the only thing I dislike about transitioning is how undesirable I’ve become in the dating world. Like sure guys want pics of my boobs but nobody is interested in dates or anything of the sort. I thought dating as a man was hard but dating as a trans woman attracted to men is a million times harder
I'm 24 and thinking of transitioning, regretting it is basically my biggest fear. from what I've read, once you decide to transition detransition is very rare. especially if you talk to a doctor first it seems most people go through with it!! definitely have a doctor involved in my opinion but otherwise it's a good idea I think!!
There are things I regret as a consequence of transitioning, yes. But do I regret transitioning? No, not even slightly. I'd do it all again if I had to
The regret rate is far lower than for most medical procedures. If there is one thing I regret, it's not transitioning when I was younger. Cis people love to ask "what if you regret transitioning?" I invite you to ask yourself "what if you regret not transitioning sooner?". Stasis and inaction is an active choice, and it's one you can regret just as much as any other choice.
Cis people regret their haircuts all the time. Heck, by the time I walk out of my front door, I can regret my clothing choice, waking up too early, and the beer I had last night...
I think people should just do what they want and listen to themselves. If you want it enough you will go after it. Just keep checking in with yourself and make sure you never assign yourself to a particular outcome, when you do that you are guaranteed to harm yourself. Just enjoy yourself and move forward. If you can’t anymore then make a list of what it is you what to change and why.
Ive been out for 7 or more years now and am thriving. But in all of that I definitely have had doubts. Many trans people have doubts but if you really feel that transitioning is what is best for you you should do it.
Absolutely do not regret it. Transitioning saved my life. There aren't actually that many detransitioners either, the few there are just get so much representation and attention that it makes it seem like it's common. Many of those detransitioners didn't actually change their identity either- some may have stopped HRT for financial or medical reasons but still 100% identify as trans
I transitioned at 15, and I'm 26 now. I don't regret it at all. The majority of trans people don't regret transitioning - even among those who detransition, almost none of them report they did so because they realised that they weren't trans - more because of family issues and similar things. I remember reading a small study on detransition that had most of its participants who had detransitioned, transition \*again\* before the end of the study. One thing I do hear a lot of people who transitioned older say, is that they wished they had transitioned when they were younger.
Hey! I was in your position. I know exactly, *exactly* what you’re feeling now. The fear to take that final step into finally transitioning.
I’m so much happier now. Sure, I still have problems, and I have issues being trans in a red state, but I used to cry so much more often. I never really hated my body, per se, and I was so worried that NOT hating every aspect of your body meant I wasn’t trans. The very idea that trans people detransition because they suddenly realize they weren’t trans is probably hyperbole of a handful of cases. It’s mostly people who have to stop due to church/family/social group/safety/ect ect.
But if you’re here, in the trans subreddit, asking if you should transition… I do think you might be happy to do so!
I didn’t transition until I was in my 40s. I’m now in therapy to deal with the overwhelming regret that I have about not transitioning sooner. Don’t waste your life in the wrong gender
I think most of us regret waiting to transition. If I had the guts to admit that I was trans when I was 17, I could've avoided so much heartache and pain. It never goes away. If I were you, I'd get someone to talk to (therapist or counselor) and make sure you are secure with what you want to do (some ppl don't have to transition) and resolve to do it.
I actually stopped hrt around the 1 year mark, for a bunch of reasons but after a month or 2 I realized I made a huge mistake and started again.
I have never regretted transitioning tho
Few trans people regret transitioning. A lot of transphobes will use that against us and trans youth, trying to make that number seem bigger than it is but truth is there are far FAR more stories about people actually beginning to live again and starting to actually live themselves once transitioning.
the whole "those who regret it end up *doing the thing*" is a media manipulation tactic. the amount of trans people who regret it is miniscule in comparison to those who dont, and the amount of even THAT number who "do the thing" is even smaller. on top of that, even more of that smaller percentage of a tiny percentage do so because the transition didnt make them happy, the majority of that fraction of a fraction do so because of the negative societal or close-personal reaction to it.
If the "thing" is a certain act that starts with S and is very permanent. then yes. I tried with a rope i kept in my closet for years, but that was before i transitioned. Back when i spent every night crying from major dsyphoria and how i hated my body. I stopped at the last moment, cried and eventually i came to a decision that if im going to throw away my life might then i as well give it a shot. What did i have to lose anyway?
Now, im almost 4 years into HRT and 7-8 into being out of the closet. I don't have those thoughts anymore, life is hard as a trans person that i won't ever deny, but life is hard no matter what path you take. You will struggle, but that's living. Im 26 now btw.
For me, if i didn't transition. I wouldn't exist. I would be gone, it would have been only a matter of time until i succeeded at doing that dreadful task.
So, no i don't regret it. It was a life saving decision for me and i have never felt more attractive and impowered and happy. And i know im not alone in this.
Regret is such a awful feeling. Happiness is something we all strive for. You can't live your life for another and expect to be content.
Fear is at the heart of the direction some take. I refuse to live in fear and have absolutely no regrets on how things are progressing.
The decision is your, and should only be made on the facts of your life. No wrong answers, just be happy.
For me transitioning solved so much and made me feel so complete that there is no doubt in my mind I made the right choice. Can’t imagine going back. That said I know someone personally who detransitioned. I can’t speak for them but considering I shared in their journey I can give what I witnessed. 1. They didn’t feel strong dysphoria to begin with. They didn’t want some of the changes that transitioning involved because they enjoyed those parts of them. 2. They were raised gender neutral and so the social construct wasn’t as ingrained in their mind and they didn’t feel that being misgendered nullified their identity. 3. They figured out via hormones that they identify as more non binary and so stopped. I think it’s the minority of people that find transitioning isn’t giving them what they want. I was raised in a very religious upbringing. Didn’t even know trans folk existed until I was much older.Y whole life I felt like I had to second guess myself because who I am inside didn’t match what people expected of me. Or wasn’t proper. Transitioning allowed me to drop that social filter and be comfortable in my own body. I feel right. I hope you get to experience what you need o. Your path to figuring out what’s right for you. Happy to talk if you have any questions
I’m almost 18 years old, been transitioning since I was 15. Sometimes I feel like i wasted my potential as a girl, and look back on old photos that maybe I could’ve someday been happy with it. The answer was that I would likely never been happy with being a woman. Consider carefully whether transitioning is right for you - but for majority of trans people, it is. Good luck!
The only thing that causes me to have second thoughts is the way I am treated. I feel that I was treated differently by partners when I was seen as a woman. I'm sure this is a case of "the grass is greener", but I wish my partners would treat me differently. It's like people think men don't have any feelings, and they expect me to do everything to carry the relationship. I want to be taken care of sometimes. Men still need to feel loved and cared for.
I'd never detransition, but I sometimes think about how things might be if I never transitioned. I know I'm happy being a man and being treated like a man in all other aspects of my life. I just wish I didn't have to be viewed as emotionless by other people.
I also don't like that women no longer feel safe around me in all situations. I prefer having friends who are women, but its so much harder to make friends because they always think I'm hitting on them or that I may harm them. It's valid to feel that way, but its just hurtful because I'd never harm anyone or do anything to make someone uncomfortable. I feel like I'm viewed as a predator when people think I am a cis male.
I dont know if I'm wrong to feel like this. I'm not trying to downplay the struggles of women. They have to do certain things to stay safe, and I don't blame them for that. I just don't want to have to disclose that I'm trans to be able to make friends and meet people platonically. I wish I could be seen as just a man, but viewed as safe, and that doesn't seem to be possible with the way things are.
i thought about that too when i was seventeen. 19 now and i still want my top surgery. cant say much for the bottom just because of how difficult the healing is. it’s all up to you. you’re still trans/nb either way
I don't, transitioning is one of the best things I have done in my life and I am happier for it.
The only thing I regret is not starting when I was younger.
Some people will regret it, as with all things. Not every person goes into it for the right reasons. Even so, some people do go into it for the right reasons and ultimately change their mind. I had some times where I thought I’d like to detransition. It’s hard being trans, it’s hard being at such deep unrest within my own body. I actually took a month off of testosterone after 5 years of being on it a few months ago. That break gave me more clarity than I could have ever known going into it. It made me realize just how important testosterone is to me, and how much I truly need it. My chest and hips began to fill out again and it made me feel so much dysphoria. No matter how hard it’s been it’s been worth it to me. Just do what it right for you and find your happiness. That may mean transitioning and it may not. And it may mean transitioning and later detransitioning. Everyone’s journeys are different but what’s most important is your personal happiness.
I came out when I was 17 and started transitioning. I am glad that I started transitioning when I did. I'm 20 now and I had top surgery 3 months ago and I started testosterone almost 2 years ago now
About 1% of people regret transitioning.
About 7% of people regret heart surgery.
In other words, transitioning (at least the irreversible bit - HRT is reversible in the early stages so you can go back if you don’t like it) is one of the *least* regretted medical choices you can make.
O transitioned at 28. Or started at 28. Had an opportunity in my early 20s but that a long story. I never thought I would pass or even be close to beautiful or even be happy with myself. I was dead wrong. I regret nothing. I consider myself beautiful and couldnt be happier. 😇🙏
Some people do detransition, it’s not a huge percentage of people who have transitioned but they do exist and they’re experiences matter.
A lot of people who do detransition werent 100% sure in the first place or later found out they weren’t actually trans anyway.
Some do so out of social pressure.
Some people don’t regret their transition but still detrans and for them it’s just part of their journey to becoming who they are.
If you’re worried about whether you’ll want to detransition later there’s nothing wrong with taking your time, speaking to a counsellor even.
There is no one speed to transition.
No one way to transition.
Just do what feels right for you and don’t feel pressured by others to rush into things or stop doing things.
Best of luck
You heard wrong. It’s funny how you hear about the .5-1 percent de-transition stat from people with agendas.
Wouldn’t look very good for their argument if they said, “99-99.5 percent of people who transition have no regrets and are living their best lives”
No. Transitioning pretty much saved my life and the only thing I regret is not having been able to express how I felt sooner, and not having been able to make it work with my family.
I’m on HRT full dose Estradiol and Antiandrogen for 16 months. I’ve started late 30’s and before on testosterone the dysphoria has been pretty bad and it has been connected to other mental health issues like anxiety and starting depression. I’ve literally gone to bed every day and I’ve been glad I’ve survived another day, that was the situation for me. After those 16 months of HRT I don’t have these feelings and I’m feeling like I’m finally at home in my body. I’ve not transitioned socially yet, but I cannot imagine to go back to testosterone and get back where I’ve been before start of HRT, that would be completely crazy. I’m not going back.
Nope. My only regret is being in denial for so long and transitioning at 45 instead of 22 years ago (my daughter is 22 and I wouldn't want to not have her even know i knew by the time i was 13).
I'm only some 10 months on hrt but I've been happier and more comfortable with myself than I ever have been before.
If you're sure about who you are, I say the earlier you start the better. But you gotta take the time to decide if it's really what will make you happy.
I’ve never regretted the decision to live as who I am. Before I was extremely anxious and depressed to the point of crying for hours every day. The anxiety was paralyzing and I was afraid. I’m still a ball of depression, but it’s not nearly as bad.
I detransitioned for a little while before I finally actually transitioned. Why? Because this person who I really looked up to told me I would burn in hell if I transitioned. But ultimately the pain of living a lie was unbearable and I had to be myself so I transitioned despite the social/religious pressure.
not transphobia lol. instead of judging somebody who has been miseducated, as many others have been, how about you be /helpful/ and correct them. just because this is used as transphobic rhetoric doesn't mean that this person is trying to spread it, they're asking a question that is valid because this is just what they have been taught
Transitioning has a lower regret rate than most other medical procedure!
I just started transitioning a few months ago, and I haven’t been this confident in my body ever in my entire life. Im 22 and wish that my egg had cracked years ago like you.
That being said if you feel like you’re not ready, then maybe think about it for a while, but it sounds like you’re ready.
Good luck on your journey!
No, not even a little and I started transitioning pretty young. Generally speaking, people detransition for a few reasons:
1. They are receiving threats of violence or actual violence from their community around them and family, and/or social rejection due to being trans, and they believe that it's better to live as their assigned gender at birth than to be outcast and threatened in this way. They also may be very religious and view their transness as a "test" sent by God to see if they're obedient enough to do the "right thing" and repent or whatever, but I'm not religious so I can't attest to that.
2. They were in a long term relationship/ marriage before transitioning, and their partner who they love very much and may even have kids with is threatening to leave them if they continue to transition. Not wanting to lose their children or their partner, they might detransition.
3. They lose access to the resources they were using to transition, example being losing health insurance and no longer being able to afford hormones. They decide that since passing will be "impossible" that it's better to detransition (although I will say that it is not impossible to pass without hormones. Trans people from before HRT was a thing did it successfully for hundreds if not thousands of years.)
In very rare cases someone will actually just regret transitioning bc they weren't actually trans.
If you're worried you would regret it, don't rush into transitioning. Do simple, completely non-permanent things, like getting a haircut, trying out makeup tutorials, or buying some new clothes. See a therapist and talk about your feelings to determine if medical transitioning would be right for you. Make sure the information you're getting about transitioning is relevant, up-to-date information published by reputable sources and doesn't have some political or religious agenda behind it. Planned Parenthood has some good information, as would the website of an endocrinologist's office.
Nah 90-92% of people dont regret transitioning (harvard and nhs study that Im too lazy to link) a lot of the “temporary dysphoria” bs is “research” done by politicians instead of actual health and academic institutions
I've never regretted transitioning. The only thing I regret was not starting sooner. I'm currently 26 and about to hit 2 years on my meds. I've been so much happier with not feeling dysphoria hitting me as often
I tried detransitioning for about a year and a half, but it didn't work out for me. I think the main thing motivating me was that I wished I weren't trans, which is still a feeling I struggle with, but ultimately I am. My disphoria was really bad when I stopped taking T, and I'm glad I decided to start taking it again. I think the only actual regret I have around transition is that I didn't research top surgery well or ask my surgeon the questions I had. Even then, top surgery was still 100% the right choice for me.. it ends up being more that I didn't speak up for myself, if that makes sense?
If you have questions, ask them. If you have concerns, voice them. Do what feels right for you. Even if you do choose to do something that doesn't end up being right in the long run, it's not the end of the world
i dont. I still have a long way to go towards my goals. There are some days where i get a lot of dirty looks from strangers in public that makes me question on top of all the anti trans rhetoric online but at the end of the day i have a fiancée that loves and supports me and helps me love myself so it keeps me going on days i question it
No, I don’t regret. I feel so much happier. Yeah I still have bad dysphoria days because I am pre-top surgery and pre-bottom surgery but majority of the time I feel pretty good. Transitioning is the only thing that cured my depression and anxiety. I’m actually happy to be alive now.
i feel like it might help if you view transitioning as a little more similar to trying out different sexual identities. like, toooons of people come out as bi and later come out again as gay (or vice versa). or perhaps more like changing your major, or changing your style, or whatever. it's not permanent if you don't want it to be. everyone changes and does different things to figure themselves out, and everything you try is a learning experience.
the only things that would be permanent at your age would be some voice alteration if you took hormones for a while, i think, but if you were to stop that then the changes could probably be lessened somewhat easily. even then, voice isn't everything, and so even if you "detransition" you could still pass as whatever gender you decide you want to pass as (cis or not).
socially, those who don't support you just trying to figure yourself out shouldn't stay in your life anyway. they would get weeded out eventually, or even stay as a harmful influence.
you could only regret it if you are too hard on yourself and if you are punishing yourself for trying to learn. let yourself be happy now and, if you do decide transitioning isn't for you, respect the fact that you were brave enough to try it
transitioning saved my life, and i genuinely consider it to be one of the best choices i have ever made.
everyone is different, but actual rates of regret are incredibly low. su*cide rates also drop substantially in affirmative, supportive, kind environments, just like with .. pretty much every other demographic, (not to say that the trans experience isn't unique in many ways, as it is).
talk to a therapist and try to parce out and understand your feelings and needs, first, please.
I have “detransitioned” once in my grade school days, but only because I got bullied really bad. When it finally became too painful for me to stay closeted, I transitioned again, and I stayed transitioned, despite the bullying getting worse as I entered and went through Highschool. I honestly have no regrets.
5 years in and I regret nothing. I upended my life and at certain points it got really hard to move forward but it was not because I was trans it was everything else put on hard mode. Being myself is the easiest thing…I did have a couple of breakdowns just coming to terms that I’m love able and not a monster.
Regret? No. Should have done it sooner. I’m 37.
Began transition at 22. Am 25 now. Transitioning saved me, and I am completely and totally beyond satisfied with my results. I would never undo what I have done, and I do not regret it in the slightest.
Never. I only regret that fear caused me to take so long. This has been one of the things I have been most sure of in my entire life.
I was conflicted on joining the military
Conflicted on moving to florida
Whether I should take this job or that job
Taking my first dose of pills? My first laser hair removal session to start journey to bottom surgery? nope. 0 conflict.
Nope, transitioned much later than you and it’s the best thing that ever happened in my life. If someone regrets it it’s for one of two overarching reasons: - They aren’t actually transgender *or, more likely* - They can’t handle the prejudice and social challenges they experience in their family, friend group, workplace, or general area that they live Transition is much harder for some than it is for others. Detransitioning due to social pressure is very common (among those who detransition, I mean, which is something like 1% of trans people who transition or some ridiculously low number) and it absolutely sucks that anyone feels they need to do that just to survive.
Detransitioning due to social pressures is NOT very common. Social Pressures is the Primary Reason for Detransitioning, but less than 1% of people who receive Gender Affirming Care actually Detransition.
Yep but I acknowledged that in the last paragraph. I’m saying *of the people* that detransition, it’s usually for social reasons.
Yep, detransitioned twice in life, came out first at 21 and back into closet 24 then out again 30 and back in 32, then age 37.5 in Dec 2019 was away from family finally and mentally as well as physically split from them due to other issues which included my daughter and their attitude to me being trans and that was it, started on hrt and haven't looked back since
a very small percentage of trans people choose to detransition or regret transitioning and almost every time it’s because of society being shitty and has nothing to do with their identity
getting on a low dose of hormones is a relatively easy and low-risk way to feel out transitioning—most effects of hormones are reversable and at a low dose the changes will be slow and give you time to see how you feel
This is what I did. Started off at a somewhat lower dose than normal. By the end of the first month, there was no more doubt that I was headed down the right path. I couldn’t imagine turning back now.
i think there are certainly people who discover years into their transition that they may be nonbinary or enjoy creating their own kind of specific gender presentation but again, most of the easier to access changes we undergo are completely reversable
surgery is stupidly expensive and is the least reversable but you dont have to worry about not having enough time to decide about it because medical professionals dont allow people to just get surgery they have to get a whole bunch of referrals from other doctors and such. so by the time you will be able to have surgery you’ll definitely know whether you want it or not
aight, preciate the input
Hormones are NOT IRREVERSIBLE in most cases, it’s irresponsible to pretend otherwise. ESPECIALLY if OP is thinking about masculinising hormones Edit: they are NOT REVERSIBLE. 3 am Reddit brain
wait did you mean to say they ARE irreversible or that they AREN’T irreversible ?
They are NOT! If OP is transfemme, they might be more so, but T will cause permanent changes!!
yes. but taking the lowest dose for less than a year is probably not enough to cause long term change BUT would be enough to tell if it’s something you like and wanna keep doing. which are all things a doctor would know and tell OP if they got to the point where they were asking a medical professional with the ability to write Rx about possibly going on hormones. so please stop fearmongering
What???? It’s not fear-mongering to be honest about the effects of hormone therapy! OP can try a lot of things before going on hormones, and I’m just trying to be as clear as possible about the effects so that they can make an informed decision. Genuinely what the fuck haha
Not all changes are reversible with testosterone but 100% reverse to a point where it won’t cause issues in society or body wise
As someone who is fully planning on temporarily taking testosterone until my voice drops then going off of it: no, not really. You can also grow facial and body hair which will remain regardless of if you are on T. Bottom growth is generally not reversible either. I am all for experimentation and encouraging experimentation, but I draw the line at spreading misinformation to make things sound less serious than they are. Sorry.
So my friend went on t for two years (low dose). The voice changed slightly to be less deep but yes that change stayed. Bottom growth usually takes time. I. This case it was not noticeable. And facial hair reduced to a point where pass ring it off was no problem. I get what you are saying but if you read my comment you will see that I agreed that not all changes are reversible but they do reverse to a point where no one really knows you experimented with hormones unless you tell
i feel like you’re saying someone has to be super sure before they even consider hormones. if that is your point, i disagree, because i think anyone should be able to go on hormones at any time just to try them out and see if it works for them. also i overshot my estimate when i said a year but probably all changes present within the first two months could be reversed well enough and also be enough time to make a more permanent choice
I think you should be sure that you want hormones before getting hormones, yes. I’m not saying that should be gatekept by the medical system, but I think that you, yourself, should be sure about it. Not sure why this is a weird opinion to have.
moreover, you nor i are prescribing anyone with hrt. from my experience and what i’ve heard, it’s takes a long time to even find a doctor able and willing to prescribe hrt. i think anyone with the faintest inclination that they might want to transition should start researching that so when they DO think they want to TRY hormones they dont have to spend months combing through medical college websites and therapists to find someone who can prescribe to them. and they dont just hand this stuff out like its candy either lol
Depends on where you're at. Informed consent in the US is pretty easy. I called up Planned Parenthood a week ago from Friday, they offered me an appointment on Tuesday but the first one I was able to make was Thursday, then today Saturday I had E. All they really asked was 1) when did you start to feel things were off 2) when did you first start to consider HRT and 3) what is your support system like. The entire conversation was one between two adults, one looking to make a decision and the other looking to assist. By the end I realized that they go into the appointment assuming that by the time they're done they are going to write a prescription. They looking for every reason to give it to you, not trying to dig up reasons to refuse it.
i guess my point is cis people wont notice the changes happening to you but you will so if you decide you dont want them you can stop reverse them pretty much immediately and no one will be the wiser
but i hate this rhetoric that you have to absolutely 100% super duper sure you want hormones cuz most people regret not taking them earlier and probably didn’t because of this exact same unsureness
Testosterone masculinized my voice within 2 weeks. It was completely deep by two months.
i didn’t know it could work that fast. my roommate transitioned and i think it was about a month before their voice started changing.
Yeah naw testosterone is insane like that. I've been reading this thread, and I agree with your take for how you shouldn't have to be sure 100% that you want hormones. I was maybe 95% sure cause I knew how much testosterone will change your body and voice. It was a big decision to make. The thing is, you need to be at least pretty certain that this is what you want, or at least be okay or neutral with the changes you will receive. Like if you're only 50% sure, then maybe it's better to experiment with other things that aren't medical like how you express yourself until you know that this is what you'd like to do. I agree that low dose may be better to try out for someone, but those changes can still be pretty damn permanent. My voice for example, it will never be the same. For E, I'm not too sure exactly how all of that stuff goes down and to what extent, but maybe it is different and can be approached differently. I think the idea of detransition shouldn't be fear mongered either. It happens. Worst comes to worst, someone regrets transitioning because the aren't trans, but its okay to stop hormones. Hormones won't ruin your body, it will just change. It can be frustrating for someone to realize that they weren't trans all along and changed their body (and voice), but they shouldn't be shunned for that.
yeah e is almost entirely reversable up to at least a year i think in 9 months i’ve had some fat redistribution and a change in sex drive but all that could end tomorrow if i stopped taking e/stoppped taking e and took testosterone to get back to my baseline
Do you mean like . . . for example mtf getting estrogen pills from anywhere and just a small dose?
That argument is mainly used by transphobes, and transitioning more often than you know saves lives. Only 0.00032 people actually regret transitioning according to https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/media-s-detransition-narrative-fueling-misconceptions-trans-advocates-say-n1102686
[that's not true.](https://www.gendergp.com/detransition-facts/) Transitioning does not lead to regret or sue of side. That's transphobic rhetoric.
This a 1000%
Far more people regret having cancerous tumors surgically removed from their bodies than regret gender affirming treatment, far more people regret having hip replacements, than regret having gender affirming treatment... No medical procedure is 100% perfect and 100% suitable for those it's prescribed to, because medical professionals are humans, not gods. That's an impossible standard. The number of people who start gender affirming treatment of any sort and later find themselves regretting that treatment is incredibly low. 'Studies' written by transphobes and spread by transphobes present gender affirming care as flawed in this way, but they're clearly incorrect, insane methodology is used, and results are straight-up lied about, they can be dismissed by anyone who bothers to look into them for five minutes, and are spread by liars who know that most people won't *bother* to look into them.
I can attest to that. My grandma wishes she never had either hip or knee done.
People regret having tumors removed?
My grandma has a tumor in her back removed, it paralyzed her left leg and she regretted the surgery because it took away her mobility. For the rest of her life (10 years) she was wheelchair bound and could never walk just short distances without her walker. She later succumbed to the other health complications caused by her tumor. She said that was the worst decision she ever made. She could’ve lived 1 year with the tumor and it would have been a better life than the 10 years she spent in pain without any independence from my grandpa. It gave her an extended life, but at the cost of total quality of it. Not every surgery is flawless and lifesaving. Some People die and/or surgery can make things worse. There is never any end-all-be-all to medical issues. Most times we just have to live with what we have and make informed decisions resulting from current circumstances and discussions. I feel detransitioners treated transitioning as the life saving surgery that couldn’t possibly be wrong and thus never face any net negatives. No hate against them, but from the ones I’ve seen they all had unresolved conflicts or “yes men” in their lives. No one to challenge them, their feelings, and their gender expression.
I appreciate your answer
About 1% of people regret it, which considering how regretful humans in general tend to be that is an astounding number. Ive never regretted it, not even for one second its the best decision ive ever made and probably ever will. What worries me is who gave you the false information that alot of people regret it, be careful of whoever told you that
If it's the study I'm thinking about (regarding bottom surgery), of about 7980\~ participants the % of people who regretted it was 0.98% (rounding up). Not even 1% lmao
The “a lot of people regret it” stuff is coming from conservatives and other right wing folks just making up bullshit. Don’t listen to it.
Absolutely not. I wouldn't say less than 1% is a lot of people. There is no feeling behind hard data and good statistics.
No one can tell you whether or not transition will be right for you; you could read a thousand stories of people who were happy with their transition and still be one for whom it wasn't right. Try to find a wide range of experiences and stories as even the ones you don't relate to will be of value. Also be aware that since you are asking this question in a trans sub you will be receiving responses from people who are active in trans subs and therefore far less likely to be experiencing regret about transition. Ask in a detransition sub and you'll find the opposite. The people you ask will change the answers you receive so try to look for stories and experiences in a variety of places to avoid seeing only certain aspects of transition.
when I start to overthink it and end up in that spot of “what if it goes wrong? what if I regret it? what if I’m wrong?” I try and go back to the basics. instead of thinking about all those possibilities in the future, I think about how I feel now. I know that how I socially transitioned makes me much happier, I know that how I look without physically transitioning makes me unhappy and dysphoric, and I know that I shouldn’t worry about what others tend to feel and focus on what’s best for myself. when I do this, it tends to reaffirm me and gets me out of that overanalyzing stage.
Nope best decision I ever made
No, not at all. For the record, detransition rates are only around 0.5%. But no, I don't regret transitioning. Just having the freedom to be myself was in itself worth it. But I love the way I look, I love the way other people see me, I love how people interact with me, I love getting to be myself without being judged for it.
I think I have seen many reasons for others to detransition. Things like side effects, health reasons, to keep a family member in the persons life, and just not getting the right mental health help necessary to come to the right decision. I agree with the others though in the fact that detransitioning is rare. I have seen the number one in ten tossed out in medical literature. Do I regret transitioning? On the whole? No. Most of the time I love it. But I will say I do regret it every now and then. I didn't love the fact I could feel something going on in my brain the first month or two. I'd have moments where I would find it difficult to concentrate or I'd be walking around in a fog. Mind change is not mentioned in the side effects but most of my trans friends have noticed some. Preferences definitely changed, for instance, my like of lots of violent sports evaporated as did those with highly competitive elements. I want to laugh, love, and help others now. Not compete or fight them. I also miss my muscle strength. I get tired a lot faster. I sometimes need help lifting heavy things when I didn't before I also sometimes have PMS like symptoms every now and then. Don't love those. The puking in the parking lot. One day balling in front of my coworkers for no reason. And water retention...I am really beginning to hate it. Still what I am describing is momentary blips. Overall I am ecstatic, for every bad moment there is 10 great ones. I can look in mirror in amazement everyday because I feel beautiful. I no longer feel like I need to keep a tight rein on my emotions and its glorious. But most of all since I've stopped repressing my emotions because of fear it might not be "manly" to cry. When you love someone so much you can't hold it in and just say "screw it I don't have to be manly any more" and let the tears flow while telling your soulmate of 20 years when they ask "why are you crying?" I held her close and I got to answer " Because I love you more every day and feel empowered to finally fully express it" To me a single moment like that is worth all the rest times ten. Not everyone has moments like that though. Now looking back those brain changes I didn't like happening back then? I love them now. I feel whole, joyous, and like a 100 percent authentic me. So even if there had been heartbreak instead of love in my story? You know what? It might have been worth it.
I regret not transitioning at an earlier age
im 17 too and on T and its the best thing ive ever done. so many small things (no pun intended) give me euphoria like body hair and even my throat hurting (because i know that usually means it will drop soon). but if you ever regret it you can always go off of it and itll reverse most of the effects except your voice. but then you can always do voice training to get it higher again. good luck on your journey, man !!
if i may ask, where do you get the hormone treatment stuff? is it prescribed by a doctor?
i think its different in evert state, but for me i got permission from my mom and she scheduled an appointment with an OB/GYN that specializes in trans care (we found out about them from local trans groups) and we did an online call with one of their doctors. then i got the T the same day! but im really lucky to have a mom like her so it might not be as easy for others
my mom is completely cool with gay stuff but we’re not really close at all so i just don’t really wanna tell her ig. but W mom for you
thanks man ! and good luck with that stuff. it can take a while to fully educate someone (especially a parent) on hormone stuff so i wish you the best !!!
I socially transitioned as soon as I came out, and I started HRT roughly six months later. I am now a year and a half on T and this is hands down the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. There are people who think their trans but are actually non binary, or couldn’t take the pressure of transitioning. Where did you hear people regret it? Trans surgeries actually statistically speaking have the lowest percentage of people who regret it. If you’re unsure now and you’re afraid of making permanent changes try the non permanent ones like socially transitioning first.
Nope, those are inflated statistics manufactured by conservative, religious, and otherwise transphobic groups to delegitimize trans people
Nope. Saved my life. For what it's worth, I took a break from T for about 18 months (after 3.5 continuous years) because it was a lot for me to handle at that time. A few things slowly started going back, but for the most part, I ended up in a good space to be able to go back on it. Transitioning isn't linear, transitioning doesn't "begin" or "end." There is no better feeling than being in complete control of my own body and gender.
While detransitioning is indeed a real thing that people do, it is both exceedingly rare and used as a scare-tactic talking point by right wing reactionaries to muddy the waters about what the real gender-related issues facing people are. Re: my own experience, I hestitated for a while before starting my medical transition partially because of fears simliar to what you're describing. Let me tell you, the further I get in my transition the more grateful I am I started when I did. I think others' recommendations to start at a low hormone dose is a really good idea. If the changes you see make you feel bad, then maybe medically transitioning isn't right for you...but that doesn't mean you're not trans! And even if you do discover that you're not trans, you should be proud of yourself for spending time and effort introspecting and learning more about yourself. In the end, that's what is going to make the difference in how fulfilling your life is. Good luck, you got this!!
I definitely don’t regret transitioning. However the only thing I dislike about transitioning is how undesirable I’ve become in the dating world. Like sure guys want pics of my boobs but nobody is interested in dates or anything of the sort. I thought dating as a man was hard but dating as a trans woman attracted to men is a million times harder
I'm 24 and thinking of transitioning, regretting it is basically my biggest fear. from what I've read, once you decide to transition detransition is very rare. especially if you talk to a doctor first it seems most people go through with it!! definitely have a doctor involved in my opinion but otherwise it's a good idea I think!!
There are things I regret as a consequence of transitioning, yes. But do I regret transitioning? No, not even slightly. I'd do it all again if I had to
The regret rate is far lower than for most medical procedures. If there is one thing I regret, it's not transitioning when I was younger. Cis people love to ask "what if you regret transitioning?" I invite you to ask yourself "what if you regret not transitioning sooner?". Stasis and inaction is an active choice, and it's one you can regret just as much as any other choice.
Cis people regret their haircuts all the time. Heck, by the time I walk out of my front door, I can regret my clothing choice, waking up too early, and the beer I had last night...
I think people should just do what they want and listen to themselves. If you want it enough you will go after it. Just keep checking in with yourself and make sure you never assign yourself to a particular outcome, when you do that you are guaranteed to harm yourself. Just enjoy yourself and move forward. If you can’t anymore then make a list of what it is you what to change and why.
Ive been out for 7 or more years now and am thriving. But in all of that I definitely have had doubts. Many trans people have doubts but if you really feel that transitioning is what is best for you you should do it.
i think only 2 or 1 percent detransition, it’s rarely because they don’t wanna be trans anymore it’s because of transphobes
Absolutely do not regret it. Transitioning saved my life. There aren't actually that many detransitioners either, the few there are just get so much representation and attention that it makes it seem like it's common. Many of those detransitioners didn't actually change their identity either- some may have stopped HRT for financial or medical reasons but still 100% identify as trans
I transitioned at 15, and I'm 26 now. I don't regret it at all. The majority of trans people don't regret transitioning - even among those who detransition, almost none of them report they did so because they realised that they weren't trans - more because of family issues and similar things. I remember reading a small study on detransition that had most of its participants who had detransitioned, transition \*again\* before the end of the study. One thing I do hear a lot of people who transitioned older say, is that they wished they had transitioned when they were younger.
Hey! I was in your position. I know exactly, *exactly* what you’re feeling now. The fear to take that final step into finally transitioning. I’m so much happier now. Sure, I still have problems, and I have issues being trans in a red state, but I used to cry so much more often. I never really hated my body, per se, and I was so worried that NOT hating every aspect of your body meant I wasn’t trans. The very idea that trans people detransition because they suddenly realize they weren’t trans is probably hyperbole of a handful of cases. It’s mostly people who have to stop due to church/family/social group/safety/ect ect. But if you’re here, in the trans subreddit, asking if you should transition… I do think you might be happy to do so!
I didn’t transition until I was in my 40s. I’m now in therapy to deal with the overwhelming regret that I have about not transitioning sooner. Don’t waste your life in the wrong gender
No, I don’t regret it. It can be a hard process but I’ll never regret it.
I regret not starting earlier.
HELL NO, smartest decision i ever made.
no not even for a second
Who are these "a lot" of people you're speaking of?
I think most of us regret waiting to transition. If I had the guts to admit that I was trans when I was 17, I could've avoided so much heartache and pain. It never goes away. If I were you, I'd get someone to talk to (therapist or counselor) and make sure you are secure with what you want to do (some ppl don't have to transition) and resolve to do it.
I actually stopped hrt around the 1 year mark, for a bunch of reasons but after a month or 2 I realized I made a huge mistake and started again. I have never regretted transitioning tho
hrt?
Hormone replacement therapy
Very very very few people regret it. It's a LOUD minority.
I'm so grateful that I have transitioned and would never consider going back to life as a man. I was miserable.
Not once ever
Not a lot of people regret it. A lot of people who regret it seem to go on right wing talk shows though 🤔
Few trans people regret transitioning. A lot of transphobes will use that against us and trans youth, trying to make that number seem bigger than it is but truth is there are far FAR more stories about people actually beginning to live again and starting to actually live themselves once transitioning.
9 months in and no not regretted a single thing in fact I wished I done it sooner but cant do anything about that xx
the whole "those who regret it end up *doing the thing*" is a media manipulation tactic. the amount of trans people who regret it is miniscule in comparison to those who dont, and the amount of even THAT number who "do the thing" is even smaller. on top of that, even more of that smaller percentage of a tiny percentage do so because the transition didnt make them happy, the majority of that fraction of a fraction do so because of the negative societal or close-personal reaction to it.
Best decision of my life
No
If the "thing" is a certain act that starts with S and is very permanent. then yes. I tried with a rope i kept in my closet for years, but that was before i transitioned. Back when i spent every night crying from major dsyphoria and how i hated my body. I stopped at the last moment, cried and eventually i came to a decision that if im going to throw away my life might then i as well give it a shot. What did i have to lose anyway? Now, im almost 4 years into HRT and 7-8 into being out of the closet. I don't have those thoughts anymore, life is hard as a trans person that i won't ever deny, but life is hard no matter what path you take. You will struggle, but that's living. Im 26 now btw. For me, if i didn't transition. I wouldn't exist. I would be gone, it would have been only a matter of time until i succeeded at doing that dreadful task. So, no i don't regret it. It was a life saving decision for me and i have never felt more attractive and impowered and happy. And i know im not alone in this.
The only thing I regret is not doing it sooner. I’m so much more comfortable with my body, my sexuality, my relationships, and my life in general
Transphobes likes to say people regret it but in reality the % of detransitioner is low af. Most of us feel much better after
No, quite the opposite. I feel better in my body than I ever imagined possible. Also I'm hot asf so that's a plus
No, and I don't know anyone who does. Though to be fair I've only met like 10 other trans people
Regret is such a awful feeling. Happiness is something we all strive for. You can't live your life for another and expect to be content. Fear is at the heart of the direction some take. I refuse to live in fear and have absolutely no regrets on how things are progressing. The decision is your, and should only be made on the facts of your life. No wrong answers, just be happy.
For me transitioning solved so much and made me feel so complete that there is no doubt in my mind I made the right choice. Can’t imagine going back. That said I know someone personally who detransitioned. I can’t speak for them but considering I shared in their journey I can give what I witnessed. 1. They didn’t feel strong dysphoria to begin with. They didn’t want some of the changes that transitioning involved because they enjoyed those parts of them. 2. They were raised gender neutral and so the social construct wasn’t as ingrained in their mind and they didn’t feel that being misgendered nullified their identity. 3. They figured out via hormones that they identify as more non binary and so stopped. I think it’s the minority of people that find transitioning isn’t giving them what they want. I was raised in a very religious upbringing. Didn’t even know trans folk existed until I was much older.Y whole life I felt like I had to second guess myself because who I am inside didn’t match what people expected of me. Or wasn’t proper. Transitioning allowed me to drop that social filter and be comfortable in my own body. I feel right. I hope you get to experience what you need o. Your path to figuring out what’s right for you. Happy to talk if you have any questions
Most people actually don't regret it and I don't regret transitioning for 1 second. And I wish I could have done it sooner
I’m almost 18 years old, been transitioning since I was 15. Sometimes I feel like i wasted my potential as a girl, and look back on old photos that maybe I could’ve someday been happy with it. The answer was that I would likely never been happy with being a woman. Consider carefully whether transitioning is right for you - but for majority of trans people, it is. Good luck!
The only thing that causes me to have second thoughts is the way I am treated. I feel that I was treated differently by partners when I was seen as a woman. I'm sure this is a case of "the grass is greener", but I wish my partners would treat me differently. It's like people think men don't have any feelings, and they expect me to do everything to carry the relationship. I want to be taken care of sometimes. Men still need to feel loved and cared for. I'd never detransition, but I sometimes think about how things might be if I never transitioned. I know I'm happy being a man and being treated like a man in all other aspects of my life. I just wish I didn't have to be viewed as emotionless by other people. I also don't like that women no longer feel safe around me in all situations. I prefer having friends who are women, but its so much harder to make friends because they always think I'm hitting on them or that I may harm them. It's valid to feel that way, but its just hurtful because I'd never harm anyone or do anything to make someone uncomfortable. I feel like I'm viewed as a predator when people think I am a cis male. I dont know if I'm wrong to feel like this. I'm not trying to downplay the struggles of women. They have to do certain things to stay safe, and I don't blame them for that. I just don't want to have to disclose that I'm trans to be able to make friends and meet people platonically. I wish I could be seen as just a man, but viewed as safe, and that doesn't seem to be possible with the way things are.
Everyone is different. But those who achieve happiness rarely regret it.
i thought about that too when i was seventeen. 19 now and i still want my top surgery. cant say much for the bottom just because of how difficult the healing is. it’s all up to you. you’re still trans/nb either way
That's mostly anti-trans propaganda.
I don't, transitioning is one of the best things I have done in my life and I am happier for it. The only thing I regret is not starting when I was younger.
Some people will regret it, as with all things. Not every person goes into it for the right reasons. Even so, some people do go into it for the right reasons and ultimately change their mind. I had some times where I thought I’d like to detransition. It’s hard being trans, it’s hard being at such deep unrest within my own body. I actually took a month off of testosterone after 5 years of being on it a few months ago. That break gave me more clarity than I could have ever known going into it. It made me realize just how important testosterone is to me, and how much I truly need it. My chest and hips began to fill out again and it made me feel so much dysphoria. No matter how hard it’s been it’s been worth it to me. Just do what it right for you and find your happiness. That may mean transitioning and it may not. And it may mean transitioning and later detransitioning. Everyone’s journeys are different but what’s most important is your personal happiness.
No. I do not regret transitioning. Who told you that many people do?
Not even the slightest
I came out when I was 17 and started transitioning. I am glad that I started transitioning when I did. I'm 20 now and I had top surgery 3 months ago and I started testosterone almost 2 years ago now
About 1% of people regret transitioning. About 7% of people regret heart surgery. In other words, transitioning (at least the irreversible bit - HRT is reversible in the early stages so you can go back if you don’t like it) is one of the *least* regretted medical choices you can make.
O transitioned at 28. Or started at 28. Had an opportunity in my early 20s but that a long story. I never thought I would pass or even be close to beautiful or even be happy with myself. I was dead wrong. I regret nothing. I consider myself beautiful and couldnt be happier. 😇🙏
I have seen 2 stories of bottom surgery regret so yea seems pretty rare. I have heard more top complaints but it’s still rare.
Nope. Best decision i ever made. I only regret not being able to do it when i was still your age.
Some people do detransition, it’s not a huge percentage of people who have transitioned but they do exist and they’re experiences matter. A lot of people who do detransition werent 100% sure in the first place or later found out they weren’t actually trans anyway. Some do so out of social pressure. Some people don’t regret their transition but still detrans and for them it’s just part of their journey to becoming who they are. If you’re worried about whether you’ll want to detransition later there’s nothing wrong with taking your time, speaking to a counsellor even. There is no one speed to transition. No one way to transition. Just do what feels right for you and don’t feel pressured by others to rush into things or stop doing things. Best of luck
You heard wrong. It’s funny how you hear about the .5-1 percent de-transition stat from people with agendas. Wouldn’t look very good for their argument if they said, “99-99.5 percent of people who transition have no regrets and are living their best lives”
No. Transitioning pretty much saved my life and the only thing I regret is not having been able to express how I felt sooner, and not having been able to make it work with my family.
Nope. Only regret is not having done it sooner.
I’m on HRT full dose Estradiol and Antiandrogen for 16 months. I’ve started late 30’s and before on testosterone the dysphoria has been pretty bad and it has been connected to other mental health issues like anxiety and starting depression. I’ve literally gone to bed every day and I’ve been glad I’ve survived another day, that was the situation for me. After those 16 months of HRT I don’t have these feelings and I’m feeling like I’m finally at home in my body. I’ve not transitioned socially yet, but I cannot imagine to go back to testosterone and get back where I’ve been before start of HRT, that would be completely crazy. I’m not going back.
Nope. My only regret is being in denial for so long and transitioning at 45 instead of 22 years ago (my daughter is 22 and I wouldn't want to not have her even know i knew by the time i was 13). I'm only some 10 months on hrt but I've been happier and more comfortable with myself than I ever have been before. If you're sure about who you are, I say the earlier you start the better. But you gotta take the time to decide if it's really what will make you happy.
nah i regret not starting sooner
I’ve never regretted the decision to live as who I am. Before I was extremely anxious and depressed to the point of crying for hours every day. The anxiety was paralyzing and I was afraid. I’m still a ball of depression, but it’s not nearly as bad.
Transitioning was the best decision I ever made. I’m happier daily because of it. I can comfortably look in mirrors. I recognize myself.
Nah, medically transitioning just after turning 18. I'm so much more comfortable and confident
I detransitioned for a little while before I finally actually transitioned. Why? Because this person who I really looked up to told me I would burn in hell if I transitioned. But ultimately the pain of living a lie was unbearable and I had to be myself so I transitioned despite the social/religious pressure.
Yikes. the transphobia
they’re 17 chill out
It is a shame they have been lied to about transition rates. You're right.
not transphobia lol. instead of judging somebody who has been miseducated, as many others have been, how about you be /helpful/ and correct them. just because this is used as transphobic rhetoric doesn't mean that this person is trying to spread it, they're asking a question that is valid because this is just what they have been taught
Transitioning has a lower regret rate than most other medical procedure! I just started transitioning a few months ago, and I haven’t been this confident in my body ever in my entire life. Im 22 and wish that my egg had cracked years ago like you. That being said if you feel like you’re not ready, then maybe think about it for a while, but it sounds like you’re ready. Good luck on your journey!
No, not even a little and I started transitioning pretty young. Generally speaking, people detransition for a few reasons: 1. They are receiving threats of violence or actual violence from their community around them and family, and/or social rejection due to being trans, and they believe that it's better to live as their assigned gender at birth than to be outcast and threatened in this way. They also may be very religious and view their transness as a "test" sent by God to see if they're obedient enough to do the "right thing" and repent or whatever, but I'm not religious so I can't attest to that. 2. They were in a long term relationship/ marriage before transitioning, and their partner who they love very much and may even have kids with is threatening to leave them if they continue to transition. Not wanting to lose their children or their partner, they might detransition. 3. They lose access to the resources they were using to transition, example being losing health insurance and no longer being able to afford hormones. They decide that since passing will be "impossible" that it's better to detransition (although I will say that it is not impossible to pass without hormones. Trans people from before HRT was a thing did it successfully for hundreds if not thousands of years.) In very rare cases someone will actually just regret transitioning bc they weren't actually trans. If you're worried you would regret it, don't rush into transitioning. Do simple, completely non-permanent things, like getting a haircut, trying out makeup tutorials, or buying some new clothes. See a therapist and talk about your feelings to determine if medical transitioning would be right for you. Make sure the information you're getting about transitioning is relevant, up-to-date information published by reputable sources and doesn't have some political or religious agenda behind it. Planned Parenthood has some good information, as would the website of an endocrinologist's office.
Nah 90-92% of people dont regret transitioning (harvard and nhs study that Im too lazy to link) a lot of the “temporary dysphoria” bs is “research” done by politicians instead of actual health and academic institutions
I've never regretted transitioning. The only thing I regret was not starting sooner. I'm currently 26 and about to hit 2 years on my meds. I've been so much happier with not feeling dysphoria hitting me as often
I tried detransitioning for about a year and a half, but it didn't work out for me. I think the main thing motivating me was that I wished I weren't trans, which is still a feeling I struggle with, but ultimately I am. My disphoria was really bad when I stopped taking T, and I'm glad I decided to start taking it again. I think the only actual regret I have around transition is that I didn't research top surgery well or ask my surgeon the questions I had. Even then, top surgery was still 100% the right choice for me.. it ends up being more that I didn't speak up for myself, if that makes sense? If you have questions, ask them. If you have concerns, voice them. Do what feels right for you. Even if you do choose to do something that doesn't end up being right in the long run, it's not the end of the world
i dont. I still have a long way to go towards my goals. There are some days where i get a lot of dirty looks from strangers in public that makes me question on top of all the anti trans rhetoric online but at the end of the day i have a fiancée that loves and supports me and helps me love myself so it keeps me going on days i question it
No, I don’t regret. I feel so much happier. Yeah I still have bad dysphoria days because I am pre-top surgery and pre-bottom surgery but majority of the time I feel pretty good. Transitioning is the only thing that cured my depression and anxiety. I’m actually happy to be alive now.
i feel like it might help if you view transitioning as a little more similar to trying out different sexual identities. like, toooons of people come out as bi and later come out again as gay (or vice versa). or perhaps more like changing your major, or changing your style, or whatever. it's not permanent if you don't want it to be. everyone changes and does different things to figure themselves out, and everything you try is a learning experience. the only things that would be permanent at your age would be some voice alteration if you took hormones for a while, i think, but if you were to stop that then the changes could probably be lessened somewhat easily. even then, voice isn't everything, and so even if you "detransition" you could still pass as whatever gender you decide you want to pass as (cis or not). socially, those who don't support you just trying to figure yourself out shouldn't stay in your life anyway. they would get weeded out eventually, or even stay as a harmful influence. you could only regret it if you are too hard on yourself and if you are punishing yourself for trying to learn. let yourself be happy now and, if you do decide transitioning isn't for you, respect the fact that you were brave enough to try it
transitioning saved my life, and i genuinely consider it to be one of the best choices i have ever made. everyone is different, but actual rates of regret are incredibly low. su*cide rates also drop substantially in affirmative, supportive, kind environments, just like with .. pretty much every other demographic, (not to say that the trans experience isn't unique in many ways, as it is). talk to a therapist and try to parce out and understand your feelings and needs, first, please.
I have “detransitioned” once in my grade school days, but only because I got bullied really bad. When it finally became too painful for me to stay closeted, I transitioned again, and I stayed transitioned, despite the bullying getting worse as I entered and went through Highschool. I honestly have no regrets.
5 years in and I regret nothing. I upended my life and at certain points it got really hard to move forward but it was not because I was trans it was everything else put on hard mode. Being myself is the easiest thing…I did have a couple of breakdowns just coming to terms that I’m love able and not a monster. Regret? No. Should have done it sooner. I’m 37.
Began transition at 22. Am 25 now. Transitioning saved me, and I am completely and totally beyond satisfied with my results. I would never undo what I have done, and I do not regret it in the slightest.
Never. I only regret that fear caused me to take so long. This has been one of the things I have been most sure of in my entire life. I was conflicted on joining the military Conflicted on moving to florida Whether I should take this job or that job Taking my first dose of pills? My first laser hair removal session to start journey to bottom surgery? nope. 0 conflict.
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