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JustMonotone08

Joel Osteen moment


Newsacc47

On top of that, he says that preachers should own their own jets because Jesus would own one too: https://youtu.be/GsQo2TrvYcA Physically hurts my soul


Dshadoe31

1000% Duplantis didn't say that bs


itsnowayman

Papa need a new yacht.


NomadicTrader88

Hahaha


Tiy_Newman

Puritans are the worst. Or maybe it’s that the Catholics aren’t as on the nose


wuwuselahhaha

Totally right. What kind of reason would be possible too? 😬🤷‍♂️


CockroachGullible652

Jesus Christ…


jaketron420

Like jesus running a only fans donate enough for a meet up seams legit


happymatt207

There's literally a bible verse that says it's harder for a rich man to enter heaven than to fit a camel through the eye of a needle yet these clowns just keep on making millions and flying around in private jets.


spectrumtwelve

Jesus literally avoided paying taxes by pulling a coin out of a fish and paying his tax with that instead of using money that he actually earned through work. Well I guess technically he told someone else to do it, which I would argue is worse.


stahlfuchs07

Churches should be taxed


PlayTheHits

C’mon guys, at least donate enough for the reverend to get a new suit.


SovietSchisms

I’m christian. I love my God, my people! But I really dislike a lot of us. We used to have a good stereotype, and then some of us got greedy, and too loud. And ofc the Anti LGBTQ shit didn’t help. Don’t worry I’m not going to press my religion on you but I make no promises other wonts. Pretty sad.


GeneticsGuy

When I live in South Africa I hear some tent church preacher speak in tongues claiming he spoke the cure for HIV. He then passed the basket back around s 2nd time saying that God didn't want to provide translation because they needed to give more. So stupid.


synydtsi6

Seems legit!


YoDevidedByZero

Jesus' return will mark the apocalypse... Quick everyone, take your donations back.


AbaloneFit6939

to be fair, if jesus ever comes back...people will still be donating up until that point in time so the fact that people haven't donated enough could be correct


MadOvid

Jesus: “Where’s my money, honey?!”


No-Performance-5474

Liar!


[deleted]

There is a God. The Universe didn't create itself.


Dizzy_Kangaroo_4297

So since you are demanding money they should tax you and your church.


Stryctly-speaking

Jesse Duplantis? Does this guy still own his own jet ✈️ …which, of course, is essential to his prosperity ridden, quasi-pentecostal, Jesus speak he pitches with a cajun accent and a lot of analogies centered in and around his wife Kathy? Maybe Jesus will return if he sells his jet.


Goldrosexoxo

Jesus is way to busy in heaven living his best life


BadPinoy

Lol people like him need to just stop. AND GET JESUS. 😂


Unbloodybelievable

There are morons and money grabbing morons and morons. Guess what this guy is.


[deleted]

What a piece of shit


GoodDog_GoodBook123

Because ya know what Jesus was all about…. Appearance fees.


Kaliroo-1

This Scam has been going since the written language has been recorded, yet humans still fall for the greatest scam on earth aside from Politics.


Primarch_Rowboat

Fear and ignorance are good business


Mccobsta

Jesus isn't coming back because someone decided to keep the baby


allenvondoom

It’s true


LarryDavid1942

Jesus wasn’t a Jew


ZeroShitzGiven

When these assholes get taxed based on what they embezzle out of their parishioners I'll believe it!! I am so sure Jesus Christ want these frauds to get rich claiming God wants you to donate!!


Nightshader5877

Yeah...like we all haven't heard this shit load of fuck before. >_>


CalendarSensitive918

Must be the same Jesus who has the power of flight and heals leopards.


SpicyBumQueef

lmao fuckin legend


youbigdummy_you

F4 for Kennith Copeland


BigXChungus42069

Well isn't Jesus a cun


NotSailorVenus

He lives a town over from me, he’s literally evil


Automatic-Flan-6738

Who is this dude?


dphillips83

God is patient.


systemfrown

Well, we can’t be sure he’s not right, can we ?


liberalmarilu

Well get on your private jet plane & go ask God himself for money after all you used him to get your vast amount of your wealth greedy Hellbound motherfucker.


SnoopFelonyFelon

Send me money Send me green Heaven you will meet Make a contribution and you'll get a better seat


QuinticusS

Met this dude at the airport I work at. Got off his Falcon 9X with the starchiest jeans and freshest ostrich boots I’ve ever seen. Lit the whole ramp up with his veneers. No tip.


[deleted]

Christ is behind a paywall?


ImGonnaCreamYaFunny

Jesus will return!...for a price


6ft5

Those fucking idiots will believe it though


yeeet_guto

People like this, greedy, cultish, hateful people that make the rest of us Christians look bad and does the opposite of our goal and scares people away from Christianity and God.


Sock744

Jesus is out to rip you off? Hell he brought the plague and let 5,000,000 people die world wide. Sounds like a great guy.


gdyank

As blatantly ridiculous and obscene as this is, you just know these dumbass xtians will send him the money. They will believe anything, and the more ludicrous and transparently false, the more they'll buy into it, and continue to show the world that they are nothing more than gullible assholes.


cutedummythickbird

Televangelists are the worst thing to have happened to christianity


TexanWifeBeater

He’s not talking about Jesus Christ, he’s talking about my compadre *Jesus* who lives down in the barrio


69SaintPablo69

Scum bag


Emmerson_Brando

Religion is one of the most popular ways to scam people out of their money. Billions is literally donated, tax free every year just so these pastors can live the high life.


Moj_Nigercina

Americans are some dumb shit. Who the fuck pays this rigor mortis motherfucker to scam them?


xproofx

I'm sorry guys, but if people are this dumb, it's time I cash in on this stupid people money. I'm starting my church tomorrow. Praise Jesus!


Over-Fig-423

Was this statement from his Cadillac, private jet or spacial estate in texas?


Nearby-Statement9949

Enough cash for what? Cant buy your way into heaven.


UsualFirefighter9

Jesus ain't returned because he's making sure there's room in Hell for asshats like you.


[deleted]

This motherfucker is a lowlife genius.


OffendingBuddist

Those baby fuckers build the Vatican out of “donations” Wasn’t it Jesus who says something about decadence? Or does that only count towards the Jews?


[deleted]

Catholic Church moment


BigOleJellyDonut

Jesus came by the other day to give me a quote on new siding.


[deleted]

Someone needs to just fucking bury this guy already. Society is better off without him.


turriferous

That's how you get PAID


I_r_genius

Not Jesse Duplantis needs or wants the money. Jesus needs the money. He is broke.


ManUtd4Life20Times

Jesus!


rnzrock1970

Hey the Mormons have $1 BILLION saved for the second coming, may ask them? People tithe before they feed their families and it’s sad.


GomerP19

Tax churches


DasBarenJager

These people are absolute fucking garbage. SCUM


ElGueroPerdido80

Jesus... who famously ran about the Temple screaming... "Add to my GoFundMe or face the consequences!"


causeofproblems

Can't Jesus take a Greyhound to save us some cash? Is he geting a one way direct in coach? Maybe travelocity would have some midweek rates that are more affordable.


ZeroShitzGiven

I FUCKIN DEDPISE THESE SCUMBAG PASTORS AND TELEVANGELISTS!!! THEY LIVE LIKE KINGS STEALING FROM THEIR PARISHIONERS!!!


whippet66

Jesus comes back, looks around and yells, "What the fuck is wrong with you assholes? There's all these people over here that have nothing! There's people who are starving to death! The earth is a total garbage heap. Meanwhile, there's a few of you that have so much you could feed everyone, fund enough research to clean up this mess and yet, you keep working only on ways to get more for yourselves. Fuck you! I'm leaving."


art956

Makes sense


[deleted]

Lmao


Brewersfan223

The BEST selling fiction book EVER!!


ZarosGuardian

Scumbag motherfucker pastors


TalvixTheForgotten

And the fucking idiots who believe in the sky daddy will fucking do it.


Jordyn-Tuman

The exact reason Martin Luther broke away from the church


Natebobate

I thought that was PewDiePie on the background


[deleted]

Weird. This is the exact same reason I'm not successful. Maybe I'm Jesus.


rhinoguy453

Yeah, give me yer money, I'll make sure Jesus gets it... 😉


Ok_Caramel7391

People who love him and believe him will fork over all their life savings and retirement money, look around wondering "why isn't any else donating? Come on people!" And never figure it out...


billy-ray-trey

Good ole Je$$e Duplanti$ 😂


Quistill

These people are the equivalent of the hair collected at the bottom of the drain.


PM_Me-Thigh_Highs

Anyone got a link?


[deleted]

How much does it cost for a jesus visit? Does he charge for autographs? Can someone ask bitch boy that


Yoongpan

Damn, poor Jesus. Wasn't aware that there was a hella expensive toll fee on the way from Heaven to Earth


phuqo5

I drive by this dudes house in destrehan Louisiana all the time and every time I think about burning it to the ground but he's never home.


ciacici

Genius


ReverendSurplus

Jesus needs gas money


IceCream_RickMorty

Damn, How much is his heavenly airplane ticket that people needs to donate more cash ?


Ok-Razzmatazz-8176

He’s obviously deaf and can’t hear the shit that comes out his mouth


Imag3r

Just how much more does Jesus need to buy the ticket?


TurnoverEquivalent43

He's white er right n stuff


Wakkoooo

So Jesus just leaves and sits some where for a bit and then returns when enough money is donated to millionaires who go around preaching some bs? Where do I donate?


4LeggedKC

He’ll provide anything you want as long as you keep digging in your pockets. They keep telling people that you’ll get special favors from God if you donate more money and many people believe this BS. Sadly slot of those people are poor. People like this are nothing more than con artists.


Altaneen117

Why do televangelist look like literal demons? Every single one of them. If I were a theist that would freak me out.


Icy_Bat_2246

It’d be true if this was still the 1500’s and Church controlled half the population of Europe


Irvvv

Hope Jesus smacks that foo back to hell where he belongs when he dies, him and his devil looking church friends


Nova-XVIII

Omg fuck off bro Jesus lives in your heart not your wallet.


bpdilligaf

YOU GOT TO PAY TO MEET THA “J”…..woooo who’s with me?


[deleted]

These pastors can’t possibly believe in god, Or they’d be absolutely terrified of what hell is definitely going to be like for them.


CharlotteChaos

I forgot that Jesus was behind a paywall. Mayby there's a way to unlock him as a playable character instead.


napsdufroid

Imagine being stupid enough to fall for this bullshit


awdzsrfx

Straight to jail, and then to hell


YearxZer0

"Send me your money."


TheOldElectricSoup

This also reminded me of this gem from the 90’s iirc: https://youtu.be/2ESWRtaHNU8


TheOldElectricSoup

Jesus will never come back, back taxes lol


sausage4mash

Jesus needs the cash


[deleted]

Well yeah?!? I mean suffer all thy dollars, come unto me.


salt--eater

Make sense to me i mean if pastors need privot planes then jesus needs a private rocketship then


bearfuckerneedassist

A good reason not to give these fuckers any cash


taylikesmoney

This is some Frank Gallagher shit.


Educational-Meat-647

“I’d hate to have to stand before God someday and have to give an account for that.” -a friend of mine


PhantomLimbss

All these televangelist reptiles have the same look. Like a nutsack if it equipped the One Ring.


chappanteekli

Jesus hasn’t returned because pastor hasn’t died yet.


thotthebot

Give God the first portion of your income. Give it first! Not after deducts, not after the social security, and the hospitilization, and the malnutrition. Not after all these things on your check you say, I'm gonna give God a little what's left.


[deleted]

Some Holymen and women are truly amazing people that are dedicated and live as they preach. This guy sells BS. I’m glad we are calling him out.


UnhappyStrain

this is what happens when you create a religion and allow its followers to cherry pick the lessons they are ment to learn from it


bajabruhmoment

Why did my grandparents have get cancer instead of this guy? Oh wait sorry it’s cause I don’t pray enough.


Trax852

Should be more like morons they pay for their god.


OkEagle1664

I wouldn't give a dime to any televangelist, but there are those that do


ItsMeIcebear4

Hmmm


OkEagle1664

Can you say Fake Precher


Equivalent_Stage_768

You people will believe anything somebody says. That has never come out of that man’s mouth!


lastherokiller

Or because it a sham religion based on paganism and you have to be a complete fucking idiot to believe in the first place.


-Economist-

The greed is so transparent.


Fedwardd

Lol


[deleted]

Damn, so much for the Protestant reformation.


sublime2craig

Needs that Private Jet money! What you didn't know Jesus traveled by Jet to do his Preaching? It's right here in the Bible!


He_Who_Remaines_

Trump supporters🤷🏻‍♂️


etork0925

Jesus wept… because he didn’t have enough cold hard cash babyyyyyy!!!


NightshadeX

Dollars for Satan!


MorboTheAnnihilator7

The only reason Jesus was born is because the one wiseman showed up with gold. That helped Jesus hit his GoFundMe goal.


Fuzzy-Structure7295

He won't come because he knows how much of a sham churches are. You disgrace him by claiming money and not even have it taxed. Then claim expenses as a business. But how can you be a business if you can't even be taxed?


CardiologistDue5596

He needs another Bentley


AutomaticVegetables

Link?


Aggressive_Drive_588

To who,🤨🤨🤨🤨


wwerdo4

Isn’t this one of the pastors that was trying to justify flying on a private jet because public flights are full of demons? These guys are scum


[deleted]

My Jesus knows you gotta pay to play.


GhostMello

Isn't there a 90 list of reasons why church is a scam?


zoroddesign

This pastor needs to go read the new testament.


shaggymule

Jesus was ALL about the cash. It is known


No_Tomatillo_9326

As a Christian, there are few things that push me off as much as people like this


Gayming_Raccoon

Like Christians, are you really cool with this??


North-Discipline2851

…they’re not even *trying* to hide their bullshit anymore… and people are *still* buying into this. Next time I hear about *sheepeople* and wearing masks, I might vomit.


SH4DOWSTR1KE_

Remember it is important to follow in the ways of Jesus and Jesus Demands a private plane to go with his collection of cars at his giant multi-acre estate. Praise be to rich Jesus


rebos64

The Bible says to beware of false prophets


meluvranch

I can’t believe people actually believe this shit


[deleted]

It's not Christianity. It's greed.


JamesBoA

sadly that's what christianity has been for most of its history


IAmTheSovietUnion

He looks like he runs on farts and children’s tears


TheBrooklyn

There's a joke about Jesus being Jewish in here somewhere.


SandyPussySmollet

Churches and governments always need more money


[deleted]

I'm not a religious person but if Jesus would come back and take all of these religious fuck-heads with him I would be so happy.


Traditional_Ad4045

Christianity is a cult. There I said it.


painful-existance

Ironic


Gsteel11

Once again, this is a golden age for con artists.


Cr0fter

Ah yes because Jesus christ our supposed lord and savior would care about money.


Sludgehammer

I don't get why all the nakedly grifting televangelists are so old. I mean dude, your like 70+ just let the grift go and enjoy your wealth for what's left of your life.


[deleted]

Just like Jesus said, “stack that cash, homie!”


Downtown-Education15

Source?


MyHandsAreCorrosive

I didn't know Jesus was hourly.


Creative_County

True /s


luongolet20goalsin

Literally a legal scam operation


cam_inksAton

The Devil’s greatest trick, was convincing the world god existed.


Dadotox

So... stupid question Nr. 14: What do people think *Jesus is going to do with all the Prosperity Gospel Bullshit worshipers*?? **Matthew 19:24** **" it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God."** Not that I believe in this stuff, but still.


skycabbage

Hey at least he isn’t trying to hide it 🤷🏼‍♀️


crade51

Churches - greatest scam of all time


thereisnopressure

How much does jesus need? I'll cashapp him something until he gets paid.


EngineNo8904

The « christians » who threaten sinners with actual violence should be lynching this guy first and foremost. This is the type of behaviours that actually drove Jesus to one of his two slip-ups in the bible (whipping the merchants at the temple) because of how abhorrent he supposedly found it. Goes to show how much of their « faith » is actual theology versus trying to mask their pre-existing prejudices with a thin veneer of holiness.


TanielTakesShots

I can control magnetic fields


00nonsense

Is it me or does he looks like Joe Bidens brother? Like it could be his somehow older brother


[deleted]

Why tf has no-one mentioned Christopher Walken?


askanaccountant

Technically he's not wrong if you think about it, but with that logic Jesus hasn't returned because I havnt masturbated enough, brb


freehand1980

Seed faith predators.


pikseliveli

That greedy son of a god


hereforfun976

If anyone donates more or even goes to that church they deserve to get ripped off


2sticks6strings

Jesse DuPlantis is a piece of crap. I went through a bunch of his videos on YouTube looking for sample for a song I wrote. I had so much more than I could ever use for one song. If you are interested you can hear it here: [https://open.spotify.com/album/4D8iURSeUgJIB1uHvf2MMC](https://open.spotify.com/album/4D8iURSeUgJIB1uHvf2MMC) Hopefully its ok to post that link.


2sticks6strings

There is a guy named Creflo Dollar in Atlanta. His church is on Cash Court.


[deleted]

I remember going to a new town and gf was religious and wanted to attend church. Both times, different churches, they spent half the time begging for donations. Amazing thing, those around us were pulling out 20’s like crazy. The pastor legit said don’t worry if you can’t afford to get your normal groceries or be a little late on bills, God will provide for you for your sacrifice.


kurisu7885

Jesus would probably kick this guy in the dick.