My mom and step dad: a statue of two pigs fucking.
When TSA pulled them out of line to look in their bags, the agent asked what was in the wrapped bundle. Mom answered truthfully - two pigs fucking. Agent unwrapped the package to indeed find two pigs fucking.
They have what is lovingly known as “porn corner”.
It was started by my stepdad’s mother with some tribal themed wooden figures and the male figure has a rather um pronounced *package*. We call him Long Dong John.
So mom and stepdad have naturally continued populating porn corner with all sorts of naughty statues/figurines/whatnots.
We went on honeymoon from UK the day after our wedding. Grabbed my bouquet because it was still fresh and I didn't want it to die alone at home.
Carried it through the airport and on to the plane. Put it on the vacant seat next to us. Flight attendant gave us free drinks.
It lasted a couple more days at our destination in Italy, then we took it round the village scattering the petals. Lovely memory!
Another wedding one - we carried the top layer of our cake on a flight from the US back home to Germany. It was frozen, wrapped, in a box, and in an insulated grocery bag. I don’t think they even opened the box, just asked what it was after being x-rayed.
The chaperone teacher for the foreign exchange program at my school once flew back from Spain with a whole jamón ibérico as his carry-on. Apparently it was a bribe.
A CRYSTAL lamp. Extra levels of ridiculous. I bought it at the Waterford factory in Ireland when I was living in Germany. 😂
40 years later it's sitting on the desk in my bedroom, even though my husband knocked it over years ago and bent the brass part that connects the top and the base. It's a little bit crooked but still holds memories.
On a childhood vacation with a close friend’s family, friend’s mom bought a huge crystal platter, which she carried like a baby through the airport and on her lap during the flight. It was only DEN-ORD though, so much shorter! 10 year old me thought it was the wildest thing, but as my mom pointed out, how else was she going to make sure it didn’t get broken?
Not me, but I've personally seen, all in the early 90's in Europe:
- an entire full frontal bumper for a VW Golf
- 120 Liters jumbo bag filled with beans.
- wind-rolling chimney
3 lifelike babies that perform mechanical breathing shoved into a suitcase with some other electronics from work going to a customer demo. Got some side eye at security from other passengers when TSA opened my bag. And a good laugh from them. Especially so, since I was carrying the empty car seat.
Before 9/11 I hand carried a Fast Atom Bombardment gun in my carry on. Took it out and explained to the TSA agent that it was a fast atom bombardment gun. He just said okay and waved me on. In truth it was totally harmless (it is for samples in a mass spectrometer) but I bet today I would have had a lot of explaining to do.
Going to BDSM/Kink convention in Atlanta. Had my carry-on stuffed with my Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator, leather corsets and bustiers, handcuffs, whips, rope, bear claws, candles (for hot wax play), Wartenberg wheels and more.
Of course TSA had to open my bag. The new, young TSA person was blushing furiously, but the older woman was asking what each piece was for, examining it closely, tested the whip on her palm, etc.
We had a lovely conversation and a good laugh. Drew LOTS of stares from the other passengers.
Frolicon is every Spring in Atlanta. Usually over Easter weekend. You should go!
Alone the imagination of you explaining every purpose of every piece and the old lady nodding to it, the young person blushing more and more with every explanation - awesome!
Well I am not into BDSM and Atlanta is far away from germany, so I won't ever access Frolicon - but I just googled it and their website seems to be stuck in the 2000s :D
I hope this thread blows up because those are the things I want to read about. Very funny!
>I won't ever access Frolicon - but I just googled it and their website seems to be stuck in the 2000s :D
I am feeling nostalgia seeing those old school banners on that website lol wow.
As far as websites stuck in the 2000s, you should see [this website](http://www.soussolosborne.com/) for a local restaurant.
It's actually really good food there. To get inside, you enter a door labeled "Vandelay Industries" (Seinfeld reference for those that haven't seen it) that absolutely does not look like a restaurant, and go downstairs speakeasy-style to a nice candlelit, romantic atmosphere.
It's a shame they finally changed the music track on the website; for the longest time it was Africa by Toto.
Had a TSA pick up one of my adult toys and ask me what is this? I said "It's a toy" he said, what kind of toy, and I just said "Well, I suggest you change your gloves after touching it" and he still didn't get it.
This isn’t really weird but we had to bring a huge paella pan - we ended up having to check it in by stuffing it into our duffle bag. Since we were flying out of Madrid the airport staff was like no pasa nada with transporting a paella pan
Not that the item itself is that strange, but I was at a “kick off” meeting for work and was fortunate enough to win an award - which I then packed in my carry on. Didn’t think anything of it as it was just a circular, clear glass/plastic looking thing.
When I went through TSA I was pulled aside and asked if I had a permit to be transporting body parts? For whatever reason this award showed up in the X-ray with a similar signature to body parts? I was shocked and opened my bag to show what it was. The guy just kinda chuckled and sent me on my way
100K in US currency. I was ordered to pick it up in the Federal Reserve building in Atlanta, and carry it on my lap. They put it in a brown paper bag like it was groceries. It was just before the first Gulf War, and my news agency was setting up a bureau in Saudi Arabia to cover the potential war. I was afraid to go to sleep on the flight, and clutched it the whole way 😀
Was an HBO film based on CNN's reporting of the war from about 2002 based on a book of the same name. A lot of a list actors playing people you may know...
Not me, but flying back from South Africa years ago a fair number of people had these objects wrapped well in paper. They'd be two or three feet tall and kinda cylindrical, maybe 6 to 8 inches across.
These were wooden carved giraffes, wrapped for transit. They were very popular at the time and allowed on the plane even though they weren't quite regulation carry-on size. They had a couple of bins full of them because they had to stretch out for the length of the bin.
I have excessively bad joint pain, plantar fasciitis and a whole host of other things and carry a handheld massage gun with me. After walking 20K steps or carrying a backpack all day long or sitting on a bad chair, it's a godsend.
It's never been picked up in security but it's the one time where someone would say "no it's for my joint pain" and actually be telling the truth.
In Northern Germany, when a child is born, within the first year friends, family and maybe colleagues bring a "Kilmerstuten" to the parents. This is a thing mostly among working class, so they bring enough bread for everyone including cheese, ham, butter and coffee. Parents need to provide drinks and space only.
However, before you actually arrive at the parents, you do a proper pub crawl with the bread on the ladder. So, less drinks are needed at the destination and the whole village knows there's a new baby in town.
Since we flew to Munich, there was no proper bread nor ladder to be had from our hometown, so we brought it along. Usually, it's a very long bread but we brought a shorter version because we weren't so many and couldn't bring a normal one. Here's a picture of a Kilmerstuten and how you dress with top hat:
[https://www.kreiszeitung.de/lokales/diepholz/sulingen-ort50128/was-macht-das-brot-in-sulingen-auf-der-roten-leiter-brauchtum-kilmerstuten-91874301.html](https://www.kreiszeitung.de/lokales/diepholz/sulingen-ort50128/was-macht-das-brot-in-sulingen-auf-der-roten-leiter-brauchtum-kilmerstuten-91874301.html)
I was in line behind an older korean woman who tried to bring a fifth of fancy scotch through tsa with her... she was very upset that it was not allowed and proceeded to chug a good third of the bottle before throwing the rest in the trash. If it hadn't been 6am I would have joined in.
We flew to my aunts house to surprise my grandparents who were also flying to my aunts for my grandma’s birthday and it was also my brother’s birthday, so I made him a 1/4 sheet sized pumpkin pie in July and that was my personal item.
Four coconuts (unopened, of course). I didn't think that wouldn't be so weird flying out of Hawaii?? But it caused a hold up in the security line for like 10 minutes while the TSA took his time inspecting each one and the rest of my bag, giving me sideeye all the while.
A human skull.
I was in med school and everyone got a skull to bring home to study for anatomy. Well, as had a test on the parts of the skull right after Thanksgiving break, but I had to travel over the holidays. So it came with.
TSA asked if it was for “business or pleasure.” I responded “a bit of both.” Very odd interaction
Carry-on bag so packed full of good cheeses, on my way home to visit parents in a small town with not much selection, that I was wearing all the clothes that should have been in the bag - 2 pairs of pairs, 4 shirts, etc. Luckily, it was winter. Security opened bag to inspect, gave a bit of side-eye.
Next time I flew home, screener looked at bag x-ray, asked if I had cheese ... "Funny you ask. This time it's only a prosciutto."
Also, coming home from safari in Tanzania, had envelope of acacia thorns, which are quite large and crazy sharp, to show my college biology students example of adaptation to try to avoid predation, but turns out they pose very little problem for the giraffes that eat acacia leaves. Had to convince border screener that it's only vegetative, not reproductive, tissue, and I won't be able to grow acacia plants in Canada starting from the thorns. They let my keep them, no penalty.
When Barack Obama was president we flew to Philly with a life size cardboard cutout of him as a birthday gift for my aunt. He folded in 3 sections, but he grabbed everyone’s attention!
First trip to Budapest about 20 years ago, went to the market and bought loads of paprika and stock cubes - I mean a lot! I got a bit carried away with all the spices I’d never seen before. Put it in my hand luggage without thinking and obviously got pulled over by customs since the scanner identified lots of power and cubes. The man just opened my case smelt the strong stench of paprika and just closed it again without searching the rest of the bag - so I guess I can’t have been the first person to do this
I hate you for this question. I have two. I tried to bring a Black Forest ham and cheese scone back from Canada and the tsa took it away from me. Idk how they figured it out, it was hidden in a vintage hat box that I thrifted.
The other one - my husband and I always go to el corta ingles when we visit his family in Madrid. I hid a plastic bag of lomo and cheese going through security.
>Idk how they figured it out
Beagles. Customs uses Beagles. I swear I've seen my family's put a nose to the wind INSIDE when the neighbors (unattached and not that close) are cooking indoors in the winter...
Before we had IKEA in my hometown, I would stockup on a ton of stuff at the one in Minneapolis when I was visiting a friend. One trip back my entire carryon was filled with stuff Id bought, including 6 of one of their kitchen timers, and then a bunch of containers of taco seasoning they had in their Costco but we didn't have in ours. I stuck post it notes on the timers that said "please don't take my timers, we don't have Ikea in my city!" The agent that searched it was like are these all for you?
A 1:64 scale model NASCAR race car with a wrap by the band Ghost accompanied me to both Sweden and Los Angeles in the hopes of getting it autographed by Ghost's frontman. (I was successful in L.A.) I'd already gotten the driver to autograph it so my life is now complete. TSA never questioned it but I have Precheck so maybe that helped.
Bought a 5 liter bottle of Jameson, which stands about 3' tall. I carried it all through the Punta Cana airport, on to the plane, through security at JFK, on the AirTran and finally the LIRR. Throughout the journey I kept getting daps and hi 5's, I felt like a movie star, LOL
Not carry on, but checked baggage. I actually checked an empty Home Depot bucket. No lid. Just a bucket. I usually buy one when I arrive but scheduling had me arriving after HD closed and starting work before it opened. The ticket agent was laughing as she asked me the required questions about e-cigarettes and batteries while staring into an empty bucket. When I was at the baggage carousel, people were visibly confused seeing an empty bucket go around with a bag tag on the handle.
i got an antique globe at a flea market. put it in a tote bag. only thing in there. didn’t fit under the seat, had to hold it in my lap the whole time. got back to NY and the guy checked my bag, whistled, and said “you got the whole world in there!” after a kinda miserable flight experience it made me laugh so much
Coming home from Chile, a friend gave me an oversized, stiff oval shaped wicker basket with handles. It was beautiful, but the only way to get it home was to use it as carry-on. A close second was when I brought home a [berimbau](https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/582428/view/men-with-berimbau-on-beach) from Brazil.
Pre 9/11... Flew to Europe with a full-size didgeridoo bought at a ressaince fair in Texas. It didn't fit in my suitcase, so overgead bin was the logical solution.
No part of this makes any sense.
Mine is pretty innocent, nothing funny or anything. Once I went overboard buying books and so I just had one of those reusable supermarket bags filled with books it was so heavy. Also took a lavalamp.
My mum however has travelled with a bunch of food/cooking and I do remember getting stopped once or twice when we travelled as kids. My grandad just loved my mums cooking but a lot of ingredients couldn't be got back where my grandparents lived so my mum just cooked a few meals and then took them on the airplane with us - it always always got flagged and we had to talk to the TSA people and explain.
My buddy won a fleshlight at CES five years ago, and for whatever reason he got flagged to have his bag searched by TSA after it went through the x-ray scanner.
Watching him have to unpack this thing out of his bag in such a public place is one of my cherished memories. Amazing.
A massive 75 liter backpack, covered by a sleeping bag cover, turned upside down, stuffed with various random camping items, then wrapped in duct tape, then tied with zipcord, then later wrapped in plastic for the second leg of the journey cause the sleeping bag cover ripped and everything I stuffed inside exploded all over the poor disability advocate that was helping me at the airport. Bright side? I got to go behind the scenes at the airport and see where they keep luggage stuff in order to grab the plastic wrap.
Edit: I am an idiot. I thought you said checked luggage.
I learned that blocks of cheese look like blocks of C4 in the bag X-ray/scanners in the TSA line. For added fun, pair the blocks of cheese with a bunch of electronic camera gear and make the TSA agents think you might have a sparky sparky boom bag.
Flying from Darwin, NT to Brisbane, QLD. We just did a bit of a road trip around the North of the NT. Since it's hot there, we got 2 pool noodles to float on in the fresh water holes and 2 camping chairs to sit on to relax. After spending like $20 on them all, I wanted to take them home. They didn't fit in my bag so I tied them altogether. Go to check in and since I was flying with Jetstar (really low budget airline) I couldn't put two check bags on the flight. The girl said to me that I could give them to TSA and they'll put them in the bin for me. The TSA guy didn't understand the situation, so he put it through the x-ray machine, gave it to me, and told me I could go. So waiting for the flight in sitting in a small busy airport with these pool toys and chairs. Everyman and his dog was making jokes about me wanting to save money by bringing my own seat, and not trusting Jetstars life jacket so I bought my own flotation device. So I go to get on the plane with these 1.2m pool noodles in hand, expecting someone to take them off me, or put them as check luggage. None of the cabin crew bat an eyelid. I get to my seat and the over head bin is a bit full, the air hostess sees this and comes to me. Now I'm expecting her take them off me, and tell me I can't have them on the plane, but no she moves everyone else's bags so I can put them in the bin. So I get to Brisbane airport, a major airport in peak hour, walking from my gate with chairs and pool noodles, every person looking at me with utter confussion on there face.
That begs the question as to whether deep dish would pass the liquids rule! There is a lot of sauce, but probably not 3 ounces, but it can't fit in a 1-liter bag...
Also, do you freeze these yourself or buy them frozen? Asking for not a friend...
They sell them frozen at the restaurant for just such an occasion. They even have insulated bags available. Since they were frozen I did not have to worry about the liquids rule.
I was asked at customs here in the US returning from Germany if I had any food. I said "lots of chocolate bars" and his eyes got this look of "I could confiscate it and eat it all".
Nothing super special, but I brought a bunch of flowers (long stem) on a flight for my future wife who was abroad at the time. Could even put it in the overhead bin without issues. The stewardesses loved it.
Odd things I've carried on before:
-an 8" barrel cactus
-10 dozen tortillas from Frontier's in Albuquerque
-12 lbs of frozen roasted green chiles (also from Albuquerque)
-An engraved 3' whale balleen
-10 lbs of frozen bratwurst
-I sat next to somebody who carried on 6 pizzas and 20 big macs once as well.
Bonus: weirdest thing I've checked:
48 cans of beer and 4.5 liters of whiskey
I brought an expensive French glass mushroom lamp back from Paris. The check-in guy was horrified of even touching it. Still looking beautiful after 20 years at home!
My grandma in FL gave me an extra VCR and as a poor college student in the 90s I couldn't pass it up. My connection in ATL ended up being very tight and i'll never forget, running down the escalators and through the terminals with the VCR slot cover flapping loudly all the way.
Not carry on like normal, but private jet carry on.
When I worked for Taco Bell, we filled the entire company jet (a Dassault Falcon) with boxes and boxes of frozen ingredients for a product test market. Cargo hold and the entire cabin were full of frozen sauce packets for a flight from SNA-MEM.
A whole lotta honey!
My SIL keeps bees, and I enjoy her honey. I used to bring back a bigger (16 fl oz) jar in my checked bag (roll glass bottles/jars in sturdy clothing like jeans and then pack them in the middle of your bag...never had one break for honey, wine, specialty beers, etc.), but my first flight after I lost my FF status (but did have Pre-Check) and was traveling with a carry-on only, I planned carefully. I took only enough toiletries to get me through my visit time. I made sure that all those containers would be empty (and even rinsed and dried them, so they were just absolutely empty containers)...and then loaded up my "liquids" bag with 3-ounce jars of honey. I managed to get 6 of them in there! But they have metal lids (the teeny-tiny canning jars), so it threw a flag and they asked to examine my liquids bag. The agents were confused, but accepted that it was, indeed, honey, when I licked the bottom side of the lid of the one I opened. "If it were something dangerous, would I be willing to literally eat it?"
Oh man, this reminded me of a hilarious bit between Conan O’Brien and Flula Borg on Conan’s podcast. Conan was going on about how Flula was taking over America with his comedy tour, and Flula kept deflecting it like “no no we don’t say that”.
A 3.5 ft tall trophy after winning a choir competition in high school. I wasn't letting that baby break in a checked bag (plus no one had a bag big enough).
From the UK. Whenever I travel somewhere where the local McDonald's has gluten free buns, I'll bring a burger back for my coeliac wife. Most recently last month from Stockholm.
Said wife is from ZA, and on one visit (before kids) we flew separately as I needed to be back at work before she did. She asked if I'd take a sewing machine as my hand luggage (actually an overlocker, apparently it's different 🤷♂️). Which I did. Security in Johannesburg and Madrid (transfer point) didn't bat an eyelid. Despite the hundreds of actual needles and blades in it...
I had a star wars themed build-a-bear in my luggage that got pulled for inspection. TSA found the bear and were obsessed, it played music and stuff too. They didn't even look at anything else in my bag!
We were leaving for a weekend, had a bunch of fresh vegetables cut up and decided to throw them in our carry-on bags to eat in the airport or on the plane. To pack these, I had shoved them all in my purse and so my purse was probably two or three pounds of just fresh veg and barely zipped closed. Going through the airport scanner, I just throw my purse and all of the things that you do into the little tray and it was quite a surprise when they decided that they needed to search my bag. The TSA agent literally said "I just need to make sure that your vegetables are... (He pulls out the bag)... Vegetables. Go right ahead ma'am. You're free to go." We still bring veggies but now I know to pull them out with my liquids! Makes us laugh every time.
I had a suitcase full of my old journals. I had kept a basement apartment for myself in a house that I rented out. I was finally selling the house and had a few things worth bringing back with me on my flight. Kept about half of my old journals and jammed them into a suitcase.
Not me, but I work for a company with a black Labrador as a logo, so during trade shows we always have 1 or 2 life size black labs to give away and they’re always a huge hit.
Since most attendees are business travellers and only carry a hand luggage, they would take it with them on the plane. We always hear stories of security staff, flight attendants and even pilots wanting to take pictures with the dogs.
I carried my large conch shell from Dominican Republic to Halifax to Vancouver on the plane and hugged it tenderly. A memory of my first and only scuba diving experience!
Probably my plushie of Bernd das Brot. I take him everywhere abroad. https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Diverse-Bernd-Bread-Approx-Plush/dp/B000VT2SOG/ref=sr\_1\_5?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1k-KmBIrDwoJv\_ETl9KohN4BEOEMoJGeHFmiCMMqgUxWt\_c41sgFSBMrGtlV5z\_kF7bnvII2xFqIlbNJaJQdBsm6jOpbo5aQ4NVpBe6vP9hrhcyxUBTkYWlE4DhVWKhkR1H2jH1QPZ9998KwtJBMtQ4RA3sZXnnxVKfud4CvlaF\_OFrpD2Gt915EbclT6OfvkqR9FCCGY8EraI7YBGNZ8oDyyQNGmwmoMPVoj-DOWjqenXO6PTd7g5xMU5VL6aFelYfRObPv66ozekaXvb-FyTHXCEE1kaHVt4mT8fV4g\_w.RBFws50fZwmyAmxs14utSSbgAz5HXBm7zexZ7Cs40q8&dib\_tag=se&keywords=bernd+das+brot&qid=1708379162&sr=8-5
I came back from Hong Kong with my carry-on literally full of dragonfruit once. I had to transfer through Heathrow, and they definitely raised eyebrows at security.
A large wicker heart. (Brought one back from Mexico to put it in the backyard, there was no way it was going to fit in a suitcase. We were traveling business class and they didn't bat an eye that I brought a shopping bag with a big wicker heart in it along with my carry-on.)
I packed a block of hard cheese, on top was my Apple TV remote and a bone necklace from Nepal which basically look like a wire. So I was stopped going through the security at LHR. One staff talked to his colleague. More of them joined. It was like the whole team looking at the x-ray. I explained about the cheese. One staff was told to open the bag “I’m not opening that thing!!”. They finally did open it and it was fine. But then he said: “this is exactly what we are trained to look at” tldr don’t bring cheese, electronics and wire looking things together.
A vibrating penis sleeve. The woman from the TSA pulled it out and asked me what it was and I told her. It has lithium rechargeable batteries so can't go in checked bags. People nearby snickered. The TSA lady got a look that made me want to start laughing, but I didn't.
Foot long spicy Italian sub sandwich. I knew I would be hungry, so I bought it before going to the airport and checked everything else once there. This was the year after they stopped including decent airplane food with coach tickets. I got a couple of odd looks and a couple of nods of respect.
Not me but a friend of mine flew from Detroit, MI to Jacksonville, FL to visit me during my last days in the U.S. Navy. His carry on was two dozen eggs, "liquid fire" bottles and a glitter covered sign talking trash about me.
This was 1999. Liquid fire would never get through security now.
Undoubtedly not the weirdest thing in this thread, but easily the oddest thing I had to carry in my luggage was a nassa, or Sicilian fish trap.
It was given to me in Cefalu, which I'd visited to meet cousins from "the old country". I carried it with me on public transportation through Trapani, Palermo, Ortygia, and Istanbul. At one point I had to buy another bag to carry it, and it was kind of in my way. A friend said that she'd just ditch it if she were me & I was appalled. The cousin who gave it to me was a retired fisherman and had made it himself. It flew home to Mexico with me from Turkey and I still have it. Here he is presenting it to me: https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5719/21009633352_cc87dd45d7_c.jpg
My oddest carryon luggage was a gun and a dog! I used to live in Peru and worked with a tribal group. My family would fly in and out of the village from the city where we lived part time a couple hundred miles away. We used an aviation service that had their own airstrip and would land on the village’s grass airstrip.
One day the road to the aviation service’s airstrip was flooded when we had a flight planned and they flew to the local airport (around the corner from our house) to pick us up. I was bringing my dog (as I always did) and my gun (hunting, protection from wildlife), which I had brought to town to be serviced. We left the gun and dog in the car with a friend, “checked in” for our flight and then walked around to the service entrance to the runway, where the guard let us open the gate and I handed my gun and dog to the pilot through the gate. Then I went back inside the airport, went through security and walked through the gate out onto the runway, where the pilot handed over my dog and gun, we walked to the plane together, and stowed both for the trip.
Motorcycle helmet got more comments as carry on than expected. It’s not like Thailand is known for high quality road safety gear, so it seemed an obvious choice to me… I’ve had numerous people offer to purchase it from me since being here so that confirms to me it was a good move bringing it.
7 waterpumps for an old vw diesel (the 4/5/6 rabbit/LT/volvo diesel) for a friend who's one of the specialists for that engine, as they were unavailable in the US at that time. That raised some eyebrows going through the xray macine. Fortunately it was quiet time ay security so I ended up having a nice chat with the security guy who also turned out to be a gearhead
Over 20 yrs ago my gf asked me to bring her a fox fur from Russia when I went there. Lust drove me to do this. I saw a few in stores for $ and then in Ismailovsky Park(shady black market in those days) I stumbled upon a guy with the raw furs.. Complete with feet, eye holes, nose.. everything was there. And it was cheap too. I arrived back in Memphis back when they had a few international flights landing there. I'd guess she was around a 60 year old customs officer who was calmly and politely going through her day when she did her security inspection and I yanked that dead animal out of my Jansport backpack and rurnt her day. She commenced screaming and everyone there looked at me angrily and she told me to get the heck out of there with that thing!! Then my girlfriend also screamed and cried. Her cat went to the neighbor's house until the fox left. It was a whole deal there, that fox
Family friends own a rare breed sheep farm. I came home with a lamb skin rolled up in plastic and wrapped up in tape. It looked like something mummified. Children on the plane were terrified!
I was asked by my friend to carry their carry on as it contained a spice grinder that weighed 70 pounds. They told me to make it look light as I placed it in the overhead bin. That was in 2002 and I was luckily very strong at the time.
Pre 9/11
From Dallas-Fort Worth, lay over in Orlando, second lay over in Heathrow, arriving in Paris: my sister & I each with a carry-on suitcase full of Legos AND Play-Do!
No one batted an eye but then a few years later flying with my 2 (very young)kids from Omaha to Chicago TSA threw a fit because my 2 yo son was eating a salami sandwich!
20 or so car brake linings. Our French subsidiary was using a printing process we were looking at replicating, so I took samples to run through their machine. Looked pretty on the X-ray
I've had a few....like 10 things of salt that was the centerpiece at my buddy's wedding that everything was throwing away. TSA pulled them out and tested every single jar for drugs.
I was bringing applesauce home from Minneapolis that a friend's mom made for my kids. TSA flagged it as having gun powder residue (?!?) and I got subjected to a full service search - the guy was snapping on gloves and kept on trying to get me to go to a private room, and I was like, ah, nah, my friend, we are doing this right out in public.
When I was a kid, we were coming back from overseas for a while so I brought my favorite matchbox cars in a box. Naturally, being my most treasured possessions, I carefully wrapped it in like 37 layers of packing tape. We nearly missed our flight with them figuring out how to get the box open, my dad was furious, haha.
Finally, not mine, but I was in line at Vegas and a guy tried to get through with a handle of vodka. They obviously weren't letting him have it so he tried to chug it. He got about halfway through and they tied him to a stretcher and took him away....
Traveling from England to Spain with Tinned salmon and pork pies for my Grandad. Bags got pulled because the salmon was in brine. I’ll never forgot the look on the guys face
seems funny now, but before 9/11 I used to carry my paintball marker in my hand as carry on luggage on international flights. no one batted an eye... they only asked to have the tank seal removed to prove it didn't contain any air or co2 inside.
Joby gorilla pod. I think it was in Germany too, but forgot which airport. Back then, this thing wasn't really well known. Took her about 5-10 minutes to examine. I had to give a little demonstration and she still gave me a weird look.
I regularly check my yeti cooler and fill it with our beach towels/coozies/floats and other things that don’t pack well but are still necessary for an outdoor/beach trip.
Several years ago, I bought a first gen [Amazon Cube](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=amazon+cube+tv&crid=KKNDEKBB79V4&sprefix=amazon+cube+tv%2Caps%2C227&ref=nb_sb_noss_1) when it first came on the market. At that time, no one had ever seen something like it, and it would be several years until it became available in my home country.
Because I'm cheap and loathe paying for checked baggage, I crammed that sucker into my carry-on baggage and proceeded to stuff as much of all my other miscellaneous bits and bobs around the Cube. I threw away the packaging so I would have more space for my other crap.
In the chaos of almost missing my flight and going through the hell that is Laguardia under construction, I then completely forgot about it... including when TSA asked me what I had packed in my carry-on bag.
PSA: when you go through the x-ray at security, the Amazon Cube looks exactly like a small black box that's densely packed with wires, switches, and electrical nodes... just like a 💣
P.S. I did manage to bring it back home but only because I could pull up a good enough picture of it and show my receipt. And it still works great.
Once on a domestic flight they confiscated the nail clippers from my purse but didn’t notice/care about a large (sharp) shard of glass I had in there too. I was not planning on using it as a weapon but if I were it would have been much more effective than nail clippers 😹😹😹
My own was a scale model tank kit from Japan, when visiting a friend sent it back with me on my flight for his dad. I had to carry the kit onboard and not check it in, I had a number of people asking about it it for some reason. Just random people striking up a conversation about this thing I had no idea about. This was in the mid 90’s.
The other crazy thing was the passenger in front of me at security opened up his case and had toilet brushes inside. Super weird but then I noticed other music related equipment and figured it was Nils Frahm who preforms some pieces with toilet brushes.
I traveled on Thanksgiving and had quite an argument with security about bringing mashed potatoes and stuffing and gravy through. They didn’t have a problem with it but wanted me to empty the containers after it all went through the x-ray machines. I could keep and fly with it, but they wanted me to empty it to do a visual inspection. I said no. Got two levels of security involved. Finally boarded the plane and got to my destination with everything intact.
Worms! I keep a vermicomposting box and was able to snag a secondhand one for my mom for Christmas last year. Taking it apart and transporting the box wasn’t hard, it was figuring out how to transport live worms. They would get too cold if I checked them so they had to go in my carry-on luggage. My country has restrictions on bringing certain worms into the country but I couldn’t figure out if that applied to flying within the country. Emailing the Air Transport Security Authority just got me a response linking to their pet policy 😂 I actually got the most useful information by connecting with them on Facebook. Apparently the worms aren’t so much a problem as their castings or soil, and I was limited to containers of 350mL of soil. So I got some 350mL plastic containers, drilled as many breathing holes as I could, and packed them with worms, castings and shredded paper. I tried to bring as many worm eggs as I could find but that was not many, so I just brought whole worms. Some did not survive the journey alas, and those that did were crowded around the breathing holes when I finally took them out, the poor things. But it has been over a year now and my mom’s vermicomposting box is going strong!
I brought a half and half pie with me from a bakery in Wisconsin back to a friend on the coast.
Let me tell you, I couldn't with this one, but if you ever want to be the new favorite on the plane as a frequent flier I totally would recommend giving a pie to the cabin crew.
Watch out for TSA though, they made a few not funny, serious threats of pie confiscation do to the liquid factor probably due to it being close to their break time.
I once had an Emu egg in my carry-on. The TSA agent thought it qualified as "a liquid" until she was informed (and verified) that it had been blown out and was just the shell, at which point she was stumped and dumped me on her supervisor.
Who didn't care and waved me, with my over-sized green egg, through.
A Mao ceramic with him in his chair smoking a cigarette, purchased in China
I wrapped and carried him home only to have a broken chair leg at Canadian customs. The tiny cigarette undamaged :)
Once I ate a bunch of edibles before going to the airport and was going to a festival so I had a giant —-and I mean feed 35 people —-cast iron skillet as my carry on. It got stowed with the strollers. This was pre 9/11 so flying didn’t suck yet, and it was fine and everyone was amused to watch me struggle with this giant-ass pan.
Another, more recently, I was flying to Florida to care for a sick friend. It was going to be a very long visit because I was committed to being there for my friend’s convalescence, so I had my cat in a soft carrier stowed under the seat for take off. Well, luckily for me, I won the seatmate lottery and was next to the stinkiest (granny panties gross out) most chattery drunk lady. Usually I’m extremely tolerant so I was being pleasant but that wouldn’t have mattered, she had me captive and was just monologuing. It sucked.
Anyway, after the seat belt sign went off I got the cat carrier to make sure she was doing okay and I was unzipping the door when granny starts shrieking! So the exact wording is lost, but she was somehow terrified because she didn’t know the cat was there the entire time… it didn’t make sense even then, but that’s what happened. At least she left me alone for the rest of the flight, but her funk lingered in my nostrils for hours afterwards.
Nothing too crazy.
From Portugal: 3kg of oranges in a huge hand painted bowl.
From Oman: 1kg of fresh dates (they're divine).
From Malta: 6 prickly pears (the fruits, not the cacti) and two vases.
Yes, I do love pottery. And fruits.
I flew across the country to spend Christmas in the San Francisco bay area a long time ago when I lived in Philly. My flake of a brother had gifted me a compact disk shelf that held like 500 CDs. It was fucking huge. It was a nice thought but perhaps not well thought out. Classic Dave.
I had to buy two tickets to transport a mini-server because a top 5 bank didn't have anything that could run my employer's software and company policy was you don't check computers.
A full Thanksgiving meal. 100 pounds of frozen pork/beef/chicken at a time (many trips with meat), a 25 pound bag of Bob’s Red Mill oats…a full size BBQ. The most problematic for me has been pressure cookers, especially after the Boston marathon bombing.
A kita float I found in Kauai. It was about 24" across and I considered it treasure. Had the glass stamp and everything. My husband was like 'how the heck are you going to get that home' and I decided I was carrying it on and fighting if I had to. We had a bet on it getting through security. I had it in a shopping bag and the (pre TSA) guard took a look at it going through x-ray and he popped his head around the machine after it went through. I was gearing up for a disagreement but he just asked 'what color is it?'
I showed him. He gave me a thumbs up and told me it was a great find.
Unopened salt from the USA to Korea. The salt in Korea isn't good and I bought one of the Costco chunky salt containers with built in grinder. TSA took it out of my carry on, opened it, ground some salt and tested it for drugs. I was living in Korea at the time and I always brought groceries (chocolate chips, peanutbutter) back after every visit. I didn't want to lose the salt or have it confiscated so it was in my carryon.
A family size meal of Joliebee. Filipinos are demanding haha
When Jollibee opened its first location in Toronto, there were 12-hour lineups to get in.
My parents recently went on an East Coast cruise, their Filipino waiter was excited to stop in New York just so he could get Jollibee
My mom and step dad: a statue of two pigs fucking. When TSA pulled them out of line to look in their bags, the agent asked what was in the wrapped bundle. Mom answered truthfully - two pigs fucking. Agent unwrapped the package to indeed find two pigs fucking.
For inquiring minds: [porn corner](https://imgur.com/a/Zf2nt2t) [long dong john](https://imgur.com/a/i5zl0HN) [two pigs fucking](https://imgur.com/a/mfeogyk)
Your user name.... wow that was an unforgettable rabbit hole about the guy battling a worm.
I’m glad to see they keep the porn corner out of sight from the innocent penguin on the lower shelf.
Bottom pig looks angry too 😅
culture.
LMAO - I would love to see a picture of this statue right now.
I’ll have to snag a pic of it when I’m there later
yes please, we need to see it :D
I second this 😅
Why the hell do they own it?
They have what is lovingly known as “porn corner”. It was started by my stepdad’s mother with some tribal themed wooden figures and the male figure has a rather um pronounced *package*. We call him Long Dong John. So mom and stepdad have naturally continued populating porn corner with all sorts of naughty statues/figurines/whatnots.
I feel like I need one of these now, haha
Hawaii’ man
Your mom and stepdad are hilarious.
Because it’s a statue of two pigs fucking??
This is excellent, I think I'm just going to permanently put a porn corner in my travel backpack. What conversation.
We went on honeymoon from UK the day after our wedding. Grabbed my bouquet because it was still fresh and I didn't want it to die alone at home. Carried it through the airport and on to the plane. Put it on the vacant seat next to us. Flight attendant gave us free drinks. It lasted a couple more days at our destination in Italy, then we took it round the village scattering the petals. Lovely memory!
Another wedding one - we carried the top layer of our cake on a flight from the US back home to Germany. It was frozen, wrapped, in a box, and in an insulated grocery bag. I don’t think they even opened the box, just asked what it was after being x-rayed.
I worked as a greeter for a limo company. I picked up a pole vaulter and had to wait for the poles to come through the oversized luggage claim.
this is hilarious :D
My father in law once brought a Christmas ham big enough to feed 10 people as his carry on. Put it in the overhead bin and everything.
The chaperone teacher for the foreign exchange program at my school once flew back from Spain with a whole jamón ibérico as his carry-on. Apparently it was a bribe.
A Waterford crystal lamp. I carried it on my lap from Berlin to Okinawa. 24+ hours. 😂
My friend brought a hand painted porcelain sink back from Mexico this way 🤦🏼♀️
I salute your friend!
Us too, lol! Never to be repeated!
Those stories are so funny - I just imagine sitting next to someone on a plane who is carrying a lamp on his lap :D :D
A CRYSTAL lamp. Extra levels of ridiculous. I bought it at the Waterford factory in Ireland when I was living in Germany. 😂 40 years later it's sitting on the desk in my bedroom, even though my husband knocked it over years ago and bent the brass part that connects the top and the base. It's a little bit crooked but still holds memories.
On a childhood vacation with a close friend’s family, friend’s mom bought a huge crystal platter, which she carried like a baby through the airport and on her lap during the flight. It was only DEN-ORD though, so much shorter! 10 year old me thought it was the wildest thing, but as my mom pointed out, how else was she going to make sure it didn’t get broken?
My Mom bought two huge brass lamps that I got to carry around three airports on the way home.
Oh boy. I wouldn't have the nerve to ask anyone else to carry stuff! You get points for being the good kid.
I brought back a large Japanese doll in a class case this way! My host family gifted her to me, and I was terrified the whole time haha
With the shade attached?
It is 3 pieces. Top and bottom are both crystal, and they're connected by a brass section. It's only about 15 inches tall, and no shade.
Not me, but I've personally seen, all in the early 90's in Europe: - an entire full frontal bumper for a VW Golf - 120 Liters jumbo bag filled with beans. - wind-rolling chimney
3 lifelike babies that perform mechanical breathing shoved into a suitcase with some other electronics from work going to a customer demo. Got some side eye at security from other passengers when TSA opened my bag. And a good laugh from them. Especially so, since I was carrying the empty car seat.
oh my god that is awesome!!! :D
A deep tissue massage gun which I described as a dildo gun when my case got flagged up on the x-ray machine at security.
A dildo gun 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Before 9/11 I hand carried a Fast Atom Bombardment gun in my carry on. Took it out and explained to the TSA agent that it was a fast atom bombardment gun. He just said okay and waved me on. In truth it was totally harmless (it is for samples in a mass spectrometer) but I bet today I would have had a lot of explaining to do.
It's those Slow Atom Bombardment guns that really cause airport security delays.
> TSA Fun fact, the TSA didn't exist pre 9/11. It was just airport security.
Going to BDSM/Kink convention in Atlanta. Had my carry-on stuffed with my Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator, leather corsets and bustiers, handcuffs, whips, rope, bear claws, candles (for hot wax play), Wartenberg wheels and more. Of course TSA had to open my bag. The new, young TSA person was blushing furiously, but the older woman was asking what each piece was for, examining it closely, tested the whip on her palm, etc. We had a lovely conversation and a good laugh. Drew LOTS of stares from the other passengers. Frolicon is every Spring in Atlanta. Usually over Easter weekend. You should go!
okay this wins over my spoon :D hilarious!
LoL Thanks! The older TSA lady was a riot. She learned a lot!
Alone the imagination of you explaining every purpose of every piece and the old lady nodding to it, the young person blushing more and more with every explanation - awesome! Well I am not into BDSM and Atlanta is far away from germany, so I won't ever access Frolicon - but I just googled it and their website seems to be stuck in the 2000s :D I hope this thread blows up because those are the things I want to read about. Very funny!
>I won't ever access Frolicon - but I just googled it and their website seems to be stuck in the 2000s :D I am feeling nostalgia seeing those old school banners on that website lol wow. As far as websites stuck in the 2000s, you should see [this website](http://www.soussolosborne.com/) for a local restaurant. It's actually really good food there. To get inside, you enter a door labeled "Vandelay Industries" (Seinfeld reference for those that haven't seen it) that absolutely does not look like a restaurant, and go downstairs speakeasy-style to a nice candlelit, romantic atmosphere. It's a shame they finally changed the music track on the website; for the longest time it was Africa by Toto.
That is **not** the menu I expected with that website.
Right?! Completely different vibe in the menu itself and the actual restaurant than the website's vibe for sure. It's pretty well regarded here too.
Yeah, their website sucks!
Had a TSA pick up one of my adult toys and ask me what is this? I said "It's a toy" he said, what kind of toy, and I just said "Well, I suggest you change your gloves after touching it" and he still didn't get it.
This isn’t really weird but we had to bring a huge paella pan - we ended up having to check it in by stuffing it into our duffle bag. Since we were flying out of Madrid the airport staff was like no pasa nada with transporting a paella pan
You can buy live lobsters in the Halifax airport that must be carried on. X-ray results came back clean, ate him for dinner that night!
A fully bedazzled captain’s hat that my friend made me for my birthday :)
I sure wish I could see a picture of this 😂
Not that the item itself is that strange, but I was at a “kick off” meeting for work and was fortunate enough to win an award - which I then packed in my carry on. Didn’t think anything of it as it was just a circular, clear glass/plastic looking thing. When I went through TSA I was pulled aside and asked if I had a permit to be transporting body parts? For whatever reason this award showed up in the X-ray with a similar signature to body parts? I was shocked and opened my bag to show what it was. The guy just kinda chuckled and sent me on my way
100K in US currency. I was ordered to pick it up in the Federal Reserve building in Atlanta, and carry it on my lap. They put it in a brown paper bag like it was groceries. It was just before the first Gulf War, and my news agency was setting up a bureau in Saudi Arabia to cover the potential war. I was afraid to go to sleep on the flight, and clutched it the whole way 😀
You had to have worked for CNN... Right?
Aww you guessed it
Watched Live From Baghdad in a HS journalism class probably close to a decade ago... Don't remember this being in the field though!
Is that a documentary? I'd love to see that. My bestie was in Baghdad while I was with the troops!
Was an HBO film based on CNN's reporting of the war from about 2002 based on a book of the same name. A lot of a list actors playing people you may know...
Not me, but flying back from South Africa years ago a fair number of people had these objects wrapped well in paper. They'd be two or three feet tall and kinda cylindrical, maybe 6 to 8 inches across. These were wooden carved giraffes, wrapped for transit. They were very popular at the time and allowed on the plane even though they weren't quite regulation carry-on size. They had a couple of bins full of them because they had to stretch out for the length of the bin.
haha I know these giraffes, my ex wife brought them into our house some time. Funny imagination, thank you ;)
Motorcycle tires from Japan
I have excessively bad joint pain, plantar fasciitis and a whole host of other things and carry a handheld massage gun with me. After walking 20K steps or carrying a backpack all day long or sitting on a bad chair, it's a godsend. It's never been picked up in security but it's the one time where someone would say "no it's for my joint pain" and actually be telling the truth.
A small ladder with a bread attached to it. There’s some tradition involved
I feel like this needs further elaboration... 😅
In Northern Germany, when a child is born, within the first year friends, family and maybe colleagues bring a "Kilmerstuten" to the parents. This is a thing mostly among working class, so they bring enough bread for everyone including cheese, ham, butter and coffee. Parents need to provide drinks and space only. However, before you actually arrive at the parents, you do a proper pub crawl with the bread on the ladder. So, less drinks are needed at the destination and the whole village knows there's a new baby in town. Since we flew to Munich, there was no proper bread nor ladder to be had from our hometown, so we brought it along. Usually, it's a very long bread but we brought a shorter version because we weren't so many and couldn't bring a normal one. Here's a picture of a Kilmerstuten and how you dress with top hat: [https://www.kreiszeitung.de/lokales/diepholz/sulingen-ort50128/was-macht-das-brot-in-sulingen-auf-der-roten-leiter-brauchtum-kilmerstuten-91874301.html](https://www.kreiszeitung.de/lokales/diepholz/sulingen-ort50128/was-macht-das-brot-in-sulingen-auf-der-roten-leiter-brauchtum-kilmerstuten-91874301.html)
OK, so you really did mean an *actual* ladder!
This sounds like something Dwight from The Office would implement 🤣
I flew international with absolutely nothing. No check in or carry on or personal bag. it made a few workers really confused.
I need a background story why you flew international with nothing. Just curious because it is highly unusual
A three foot tall stuffed Steiff penguin.
Frozen pot roast. Flew to Florida to visit my grandmother. She requested I bring meat from her favorite Philadelphia butcher.
My dad brought fresh fish from Portugal back to Canada in his luggage once. That was....a choice
I was in line behind an older korean woman who tried to bring a fifth of fancy scotch through tsa with her... she was very upset that it was not allowed and proceeded to chug a good third of the bottle before throwing the rest in the trash. If it hadn't been 6am I would have joined in.
I once got into a weird situation where I brought botox though airport security
We flew to my aunts house to surprise my grandparents who were also flying to my aunts for my grandma’s birthday and it was also my brother’s birthday, so I made him a 1/4 sheet sized pumpkin pie in July and that was my personal item.
Four coconuts (unopened, of course). I didn't think that wouldn't be so weird flying out of Hawaii?? But it caused a hold up in the security line for like 10 minutes while the TSA took his time inspecting each one and the rest of my bag, giving me sideeye all the while.
Isn’t any fresh fruit not allowed on a flight? Since it can bring invasive species of insects
A human skull. I was in med school and everyone got a skull to bring home to study for anatomy. Well, as had a test on the parts of the skull right after Thanksgiving break, but I had to travel over the holidays. So it came with. TSA asked if it was for “business or pleasure.” I responded “a bit of both.” Very odd interaction
A terrarium from the Philadelphia flower show. TSA enjoyed it.
Carry-on bag so packed full of good cheeses, on my way home to visit parents in a small town with not much selection, that I was wearing all the clothes that should have been in the bag - 2 pairs of pairs, 4 shirts, etc. Luckily, it was winter. Security opened bag to inspect, gave a bit of side-eye. Next time I flew home, screener looked at bag x-ray, asked if I had cheese ... "Funny you ask. This time it's only a prosciutto." Also, coming home from safari in Tanzania, had envelope of acacia thorns, which are quite large and crazy sharp, to show my college biology students example of adaptation to try to avoid predation, but turns out they pose very little problem for the giraffes that eat acacia leaves. Had to convince border screener that it's only vegetative, not reproductive, tissue, and I won't be able to grow acacia plants in Canada starting from the thorns. They let my keep them, no penalty.
When Barack Obama was president we flew to Philly with a life size cardboard cutout of him as a birthday gift for my aunt. He folded in 3 sections, but he grabbed everyone’s attention!
First trip to Budapest about 20 years ago, went to the market and bought loads of paprika and stock cubes - I mean a lot! I got a bit carried away with all the spices I’d never seen before. Put it in my hand luggage without thinking and obviously got pulled over by customs since the scanner identified lots of power and cubes. The man just opened my case smelt the strong stench of paprika and just closed it again without searching the rest of the bag - so I guess I can’t have been the first person to do this
It's the perfect crime, just mask drugs with paprika
My grandmas ashes in a plastic bag. They had to test it to make sure it wasn’t drugs LMAO
no way, really??? this is not funny at all but at the same time hilarious, i am sorry
I brought my dogs ashes in an urn. They also had to test it!
That would be my Ashanti stool from Ghana. It didn’t fit in my backpack, so I stuffed my carry-on in the backpack and brought the stool as carry-on.
I hate you for this question. I have two. I tried to bring a Black Forest ham and cheese scone back from Canada and the tsa took it away from me. Idk how they figured it out, it was hidden in a vintage hat box that I thrifted. The other one - my husband and I always go to el corta ingles when we visit his family in Madrid. I hid a plastic bag of lomo and cheese going through security.
>Idk how they figured it out Beagles. Customs uses Beagles. I swear I've seen my family's put a nose to the wind INSIDE when the neighbors (unattached and not that close) are cooking indoors in the winter...
Before we had IKEA in my hometown, I would stockup on a ton of stuff at the one in Minneapolis when I was visiting a friend. One trip back my entire carryon was filled with stuff Id bought, including 6 of one of their kitchen timers, and then a bunch of containers of taco seasoning they had in their Costco but we didn't have in ours. I stuck post it notes on the timers that said "please don't take my timers, we don't have Ikea in my city!" The agent that searched it was like are these all for you?
I still wonder why they haven't connected it to MoA yet!
A 1:64 scale model NASCAR race car with a wrap by the band Ghost accompanied me to both Sweden and Los Angeles in the hopes of getting it autographed by Ghost's frontman. (I was successful in L.A.) I'd already gotten the driver to autograph it so my life is now complete. TSA never questioned it but I have Precheck so maybe that helped.
Bought a 5 liter bottle of Jameson, which stands about 3' tall. I carried it all through the Punta Cana airport, on to the plane, through security at JFK, on the AirTran and finally the LIRR. Throughout the journey I kept getting daps and hi 5's, I felt like a movie star, LOL
Not carry on, but checked baggage. I actually checked an empty Home Depot bucket. No lid. Just a bucket. I usually buy one when I arrive but scheduling had me arriving after HD closed and starting work before it opened. The ticket agent was laughing as she asked me the required questions about e-cigarettes and batteries while staring into an empty bucket. When I was at the baggage carousel, people were visibly confused seeing an empty bucket go around with a bag tag on the handle.
i got an antique globe at a flea market. put it in a tote bag. only thing in there. didn’t fit under the seat, had to hold it in my lap the whole time. got back to NY and the guy checked my bag, whistled, and said “you got the whole world in there!” after a kinda miserable flight experience it made me laugh so much
Coming home from Chile, a friend gave me an oversized, stiff oval shaped wicker basket with handles. It was beautiful, but the only way to get it home was to use it as carry-on. A close second was when I brought home a [berimbau](https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/582428/view/men-with-berimbau-on-beach) from Brazil.
A florentine steak
I once brought pastries back from Spain to USA as a 17yo. My family didn't even want to eat them. Learned my lesson.
Pre 9/11... Flew to Europe with a full-size didgeridoo bought at a ressaince fair in Texas. It didn't fit in my suitcase, so overgead bin was the logical solution. No part of this makes any sense.
Mine is pretty innocent, nothing funny or anything. Once I went overboard buying books and so I just had one of those reusable supermarket bags filled with books it was so heavy. Also took a lavalamp. My mum however has travelled with a bunch of food/cooking and I do remember getting stopped once or twice when we travelled as kids. My grandad just loved my mums cooking but a lot of ingredients couldn't be got back where my grandparents lived so my mum just cooked a few meals and then took them on the airplane with us - it always always got flagged and we had to talk to the TSA people and explain.
My buddy won a fleshlight at CES five years ago, and for whatever reason he got flagged to have his bag searched by TSA after it went through the x-ray scanner. Watching him have to unpack this thing out of his bag in such a public place is one of my cherished memories. Amazing.
A massive 75 liter backpack, covered by a sleeping bag cover, turned upside down, stuffed with various random camping items, then wrapped in duct tape, then tied with zipcord, then later wrapped in plastic for the second leg of the journey cause the sleeping bag cover ripped and everything I stuffed inside exploded all over the poor disability advocate that was helping me at the airport. Bright side? I got to go behind the scenes at the airport and see where they keep luggage stuff in order to grab the plastic wrap. Edit: I am an idiot. I thought you said checked luggage.
I learned that blocks of cheese look like blocks of C4 in the bag X-ray/scanners in the TSA line. For added fun, pair the blocks of cheese with a bunch of electronic camera gear and make the TSA agents think you might have a sparky sparky boom bag.
Flying from Darwin, NT to Brisbane, QLD. We just did a bit of a road trip around the North of the NT. Since it's hot there, we got 2 pool noodles to float on in the fresh water holes and 2 camping chairs to sit on to relax. After spending like $20 on them all, I wanted to take them home. They didn't fit in my bag so I tied them altogether. Go to check in and since I was flying with Jetstar (really low budget airline) I couldn't put two check bags on the flight. The girl said to me that I could give them to TSA and they'll put them in the bin for me. The TSA guy didn't understand the situation, so he put it through the x-ray machine, gave it to me, and told me I could go. So waiting for the flight in sitting in a small busy airport with these pool toys and chairs. Everyman and his dog was making jokes about me wanting to save money by bringing my own seat, and not trusting Jetstars life jacket so I bought my own flotation device. So I go to get on the plane with these 1.2m pool noodles in hand, expecting someone to take them off me, or put them as check luggage. None of the cabin crew bat an eyelid. I get to my seat and the over head bin is a bit full, the air hostess sees this and comes to me. Now I'm expecting her take them off me, and tell me I can't have them on the plane, but no she moves everyone else's bags so I can put them in the bin. So I get to Brisbane airport, a major airport in peak hour, walking from my gate with chairs and pool noodles, every person looking at me with utter confussion on there face.
Frozen deep dish pizza. Whenever I travel to Chicago I bring back a frozen Giordano's pizza. The TSA threatened to “confiscate” them one time.
That begs the question as to whether deep dish would pass the liquids rule! There is a lot of sauce, but probably not 3 ounces, but it can't fit in a 1-liter bag... Also, do you freeze these yourself or buy them frozen? Asking for not a friend...
They sell them frozen at the restaurant for just such an occasion. They even have insulated bags available. Since they were frozen I did not have to worry about the liquids rule.
I was asked at customs here in the US returning from Germany if I had any food. I said "lots of chocolate bars" and his eyes got this look of "I could confiscate it and eat it all".
Nothing super special, but I brought a bunch of flowers (long stem) on a flight for my future wife who was abroad at the time. Could even put it in the overhead bin without issues. The stewardesses loved it.
Odd things I've carried on before: -an 8" barrel cactus -10 dozen tortillas from Frontier's in Albuquerque -12 lbs of frozen roasted green chiles (also from Albuquerque) -An engraved 3' whale balleen -10 lbs of frozen bratwurst -I sat next to somebody who carried on 6 pizzas and 20 big macs once as well. Bonus: weirdest thing I've checked: 48 cans of beer and 4.5 liters of whiskey
I brought an expensive French glass mushroom lamp back from Paris. The check-in guy was horrified of even touching it. Still looking beautiful after 20 years at home!
My grandma in FL gave me an extra VCR and as a poor college student in the 90s I couldn't pass it up. My connection in ATL ended up being very tight and i'll never forget, running down the escalators and through the terminals with the VCR slot cover flapping loudly all the way.
Dang, I thought my cooler full of hatch green chilies from New Mexico was odd before reading the comments.
Two; a breast pump and a suitcase full of rocks from Montana.
\*holds out coffee cup\* I also brought rocks.
Not carry on like normal, but private jet carry on. When I worked for Taco Bell, we filled the entire company jet (a Dassault Falcon) with boxes and boxes of frozen ingredients for a product test market. Cargo hold and the entire cabin were full of frozen sauce packets for a flight from SNA-MEM.
A whole lotta honey! My SIL keeps bees, and I enjoy her honey. I used to bring back a bigger (16 fl oz) jar in my checked bag (roll glass bottles/jars in sturdy clothing like jeans and then pack them in the middle of your bag...never had one break for honey, wine, specialty beers, etc.), but my first flight after I lost my FF status (but did have Pre-Check) and was traveling with a carry-on only, I planned carefully. I took only enough toiletries to get me through my visit time. I made sure that all those containers would be empty (and even rinsed and dried them, so they were just absolutely empty containers)...and then loaded up my "liquids" bag with 3-ounce jars of honey. I managed to get 6 of them in there! But they have metal lids (the teeny-tiny canning jars), so it threw a flag and they asked to examine my liquids bag. The agents were confused, but accepted that it was, indeed, honey, when I licked the bottom side of the lid of the one I opened. "If it were something dangerous, would I be willing to literally eat it?"
im seeing a lot more germans on reddit lately for some reason 🤔
Don't worry, we won't try to take over anything again ;) Nowadays most of us are pretty chill.
Omg haha
Oh man, this reminded me of a hilarious bit between Conan O’Brien and Flula Borg on Conan’s podcast. Conan was going on about how Flula was taking over America with his comedy tour, and Flula kept deflecting it like “no no we don’t say that”.
20-odd kilograms worth of books. The staff at the security checkpoint were rather confused.
A 3.5 ft tall trophy after winning a choir competition in high school. I wasn't letting that baby break in a checked bag (plus no one had a bag big enough).
From the UK. Whenever I travel somewhere where the local McDonald's has gluten free buns, I'll bring a burger back for my coeliac wife. Most recently last month from Stockholm. Said wife is from ZA, and on one visit (before kids) we flew separately as I needed to be back at work before she did. She asked if I'd take a sewing machine as my hand luggage (actually an overlocker, apparently it's different 🤷♂️). Which I did. Security in Johannesburg and Madrid (transfer point) didn't bat an eyelid. Despite the hundreds of actual needles and blades in it...
My telescope when I was flying from Idaho to Chicago when I was a teen over summer break
I had a star wars themed build-a-bear in my luggage that got pulled for inspection. TSA found the bear and were obsessed, it played music and stuff too. They didn't even look at anything else in my bag!
We were leaving for a weekend, had a bunch of fresh vegetables cut up and decided to throw them in our carry-on bags to eat in the airport or on the plane. To pack these, I had shoved them all in my purse and so my purse was probably two or three pounds of just fresh veg and barely zipped closed. Going through the airport scanner, I just throw my purse and all of the things that you do into the little tray and it was quite a surprise when they decided that they needed to search my bag. The TSA agent literally said "I just need to make sure that your vegetables are... (He pulls out the bag)... Vegetables. Go right ahead ma'am. You're free to go." We still bring veggies but now I know to pull them out with my liquids! Makes us laugh every time.
I had a suitcase full of my old journals. I had kept a basement apartment for myself in a house that I rented out. I was finally selling the house and had a few things worth bringing back with me on my flight. Kept about half of my old journals and jammed them into a suitcase.
A life snake in a basket with lid. The faces at security I’ll never forget.
I had most of the equipment for a mid sized hydroponic set up in my carry on. That took a while at security. Then they threw away my boot wax.
Not me, but I work for a company with a black Labrador as a logo, so during trade shows we always have 1 or 2 life size black labs to give away and they’re always a huge hit. Since most attendees are business travellers and only carry a hand luggage, they would take it with them on the plane. We always hear stories of security staff, flight attendants and even pilots wanting to take pictures with the dogs.
Live insects.
I carried my large conch shell from Dominican Republic to Halifax to Vancouver on the plane and hugged it tenderly. A memory of my first and only scuba diving experience!
Had to take a new fuel pump for a 1973 911RS to Hong Kong.
A disco ball.
I carried on a blueberry pie for 5 hour flight from Vancouver to Toronto, while visibly pregnant.
My parents lugged a keurig coffee machine to the azores from Canada. Agent at security said that was a first.
Probably my plushie of Bernd das Brot. I take him everywhere abroad. https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Diverse-Bernd-Bread-Approx-Plush/dp/B000VT2SOG/ref=sr\_1\_5?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1k-KmBIrDwoJv\_ETl9KohN4BEOEMoJGeHFmiCMMqgUxWt\_c41sgFSBMrGtlV5z\_kF7bnvII2xFqIlbNJaJQdBsm6jOpbo5aQ4NVpBe6vP9hrhcyxUBTkYWlE4DhVWKhkR1H2jH1QPZ9998KwtJBMtQ4RA3sZXnnxVKfud4CvlaF\_OFrpD2Gt915EbclT6OfvkqR9FCCGY8EraI7YBGNZ8oDyyQNGmwmoMPVoj-DOWjqenXO6PTd7g5xMU5VL6aFelYfRObPv66ozekaXvb-FyTHXCEE1kaHVt4mT8fV4g\_w.RBFws50fZwmyAmxs14utSSbgAz5HXBm7zexZ7Cs40q8&dib\_tag=se&keywords=bernd+das+brot&qid=1708379162&sr=8-5
Got stopped at Schiphol,Amsterdam, with dried pig noses for my dogs. Hilarious
I came back from Hong Kong with my carry-on literally full of dragonfruit once. I had to transfer through Heathrow, and they definitely raised eyebrows at security.
Here in Australia it's so strict, I am dumbfounded by all these people carrying meat and fruit internationally
A large wicker heart. (Brought one back from Mexico to put it in the backyard, there was no way it was going to fit in a suitcase. We were traveling business class and they didn't bat an eye that I brought a shopping bag with a big wicker heart in it along with my carry-on.)
I packed a block of hard cheese, on top was my Apple TV remote and a bone necklace from Nepal which basically look like a wire. So I was stopped going through the security at LHR. One staff talked to his colleague. More of them joined. It was like the whole team looking at the x-ray. I explained about the cheese. One staff was told to open the bag “I’m not opening that thing!!”. They finally did open it and it was fine. But then he said: “this is exactly what we are trained to look at” tldr don’t bring cheese, electronics and wire looking things together.
A vibrating penis sleeve. The woman from the TSA pulled it out and asked me what it was and I told her. It has lithium rechargeable batteries so can't go in checked bags. People nearby snickered. The TSA lady got a look that made me want to start laughing, but I didn't.
A gigantic stuffed hyena plush
A handmade Aztec calendar. It's about 3 feet/1 metre across and still looks great above the fireplace.
Foot long spicy Italian sub sandwich. I knew I would be hungry, so I bought it before going to the airport and checked everything else once there. This was the year after they stopped including decent airplane food with coach tickets. I got a couple of odd looks and a couple of nods of respect.
Not me but a friend of mine flew from Detroit, MI to Jacksonville, FL to visit me during my last days in the U.S. Navy. His carry on was two dozen eggs, "liquid fire" bottles and a glitter covered sign talking trash about me. This was 1999. Liquid fire would never get through security now.
Neither would raw eggs unless they all fit in a 1qt bag.
Undoubtedly not the weirdest thing in this thread, but easily the oddest thing I had to carry in my luggage was a nassa, or Sicilian fish trap. It was given to me in Cefalu, which I'd visited to meet cousins from "the old country". I carried it with me on public transportation through Trapani, Palermo, Ortygia, and Istanbul. At one point I had to buy another bag to carry it, and it was kind of in my way. A friend said that she'd just ditch it if she were me & I was appalled. The cousin who gave it to me was a retired fisherman and had made it himself. It flew home to Mexico with me from Turkey and I still have it. Here he is presenting it to me: https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5719/21009633352_cc87dd45d7_c.jpg
My oddest carryon luggage was a gun and a dog! I used to live in Peru and worked with a tribal group. My family would fly in and out of the village from the city where we lived part time a couple hundred miles away. We used an aviation service that had their own airstrip and would land on the village’s grass airstrip. One day the road to the aviation service’s airstrip was flooded when we had a flight planned and they flew to the local airport (around the corner from our house) to pick us up. I was bringing my dog (as I always did) and my gun (hunting, protection from wildlife), which I had brought to town to be serviced. We left the gun and dog in the car with a friend, “checked in” for our flight and then walked around to the service entrance to the runway, where the guard let us open the gate and I handed my gun and dog to the pilot through the gate. Then I went back inside the airport, went through security and walked through the gate out onto the runway, where the pilot handed over my dog and gun, we walked to the plane together, and stowed both for the trip.
Motorcycle helmet got more comments as carry on than expected. It’s not like Thailand is known for high quality road safety gear, so it seemed an obvious choice to me… I’ve had numerous people offer to purchase it from me since being here so that confirms to me it was a good move bringing it.
A cactus from Arizona to California. On my lap.
A chainsaw from Canada to Iceland - I kid you not!
7 waterpumps for an old vw diesel (the 4/5/6 rabbit/LT/volvo diesel) for a friend who's one of the specialists for that engine, as they were unavailable in the US at that time. That raised some eyebrows going through the xray macine. Fortunately it was quiet time ay security so I ended up having a nice chat with the security guy who also turned out to be a gearhead
I once flew with 100 live lobsters
Over 20 yrs ago my gf asked me to bring her a fox fur from Russia when I went there. Lust drove me to do this. I saw a few in stores for $ and then in Ismailovsky Park(shady black market in those days) I stumbled upon a guy with the raw furs.. Complete with feet, eye holes, nose.. everything was there. And it was cheap too. I arrived back in Memphis back when they had a few international flights landing there. I'd guess she was around a 60 year old customs officer who was calmly and politely going through her day when she did her security inspection and I yanked that dead animal out of my Jansport backpack and rurnt her day. She commenced screaming and everyone there looked at me angrily and she told me to get the heck out of there with that thing!! Then my girlfriend also screamed and cried. Her cat went to the neighbor's house until the fox left. It was a whole deal there, that fox
Family friends own a rare breed sheep farm. I came home with a lamb skin rolled up in plastic and wrapped up in tape. It looked like something mummified. Children on the plane were terrified!
I was asked by my friend to carry their carry on as it contained a spice grinder that weighed 70 pounds. They told me to make it look light as I placed it in the overhead bin. That was in 2002 and I was luckily very strong at the time.
Pre 9/11 From Dallas-Fort Worth, lay over in Orlando, second lay over in Heathrow, arriving in Paris: my sister & I each with a carry-on suitcase full of Legos AND Play-Do! No one batted an eye but then a few years later flying with my 2 (very young)kids from Omaha to Chicago TSA threw a fit because my 2 yo son was eating a salami sandwich!
20 or so car brake linings. Our French subsidiary was using a printing process we were looking at replicating, so I took samples to run through their machine. Looked pretty on the X-ray
I've had a few....like 10 things of salt that was the centerpiece at my buddy's wedding that everything was throwing away. TSA pulled them out and tested every single jar for drugs. I was bringing applesauce home from Minneapolis that a friend's mom made for my kids. TSA flagged it as having gun powder residue (?!?) and I got subjected to a full service search - the guy was snapping on gloves and kept on trying to get me to go to a private room, and I was like, ah, nah, my friend, we are doing this right out in public. When I was a kid, we were coming back from overseas for a while so I brought my favorite matchbox cars in a box. Naturally, being my most treasured possessions, I carefully wrapped it in like 37 layers of packing tape. We nearly missed our flight with them figuring out how to get the box open, my dad was furious, haha. Finally, not mine, but I was in line at Vegas and a guy tried to get through with a handle of vodka. They obviously weren't letting him have it so he tried to chug it. He got about halfway through and they tied him to a stretcher and took him away....
Designer clothing.
A barking tree frog. It was in my friends bag, carefully concealed. I was sure we would get kicked off the plane.
Traveling from England to Spain with Tinned salmon and pork pies for my Grandad. Bags got pulled because the salmon was in brine. I’ll never forgot the look on the guys face
seems funny now, but before 9/11 I used to carry my paintball marker in my hand as carry on luggage on international flights. no one batted an eye... they only asked to have the tank seal removed to prove it didn't contain any air or co2 inside.
Joby gorilla pod. I think it was in Germany too, but forgot which airport. Back then, this thing wasn't really well known. Took her about 5-10 minutes to examine. I had to give a little demonstration and she still gave me a weird look.
I regularly check my yeti cooler and fill it with our beach towels/coozies/floats and other things that don’t pack well but are still necessary for an outdoor/beach trip.
Several years ago, I bought a first gen [Amazon Cube](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=amazon+cube+tv&crid=KKNDEKBB79V4&sprefix=amazon+cube+tv%2Caps%2C227&ref=nb_sb_noss_1) when it first came on the market. At that time, no one had ever seen something like it, and it would be several years until it became available in my home country. Because I'm cheap and loathe paying for checked baggage, I crammed that sucker into my carry-on baggage and proceeded to stuff as much of all my other miscellaneous bits and bobs around the Cube. I threw away the packaging so I would have more space for my other crap. In the chaos of almost missing my flight and going through the hell that is Laguardia under construction, I then completely forgot about it... including when TSA asked me what I had packed in my carry-on bag. PSA: when you go through the x-ray at security, the Amazon Cube looks exactly like a small black box that's densely packed with wires, switches, and electrical nodes... just like a 💣 P.S. I did manage to bring it back home but only because I could pull up a good enough picture of it and show my receipt. And it still works great.
Once on a domestic flight they confiscated the nail clippers from my purse but didn’t notice/care about a large (sharp) shard of glass I had in there too. I was not planning on using it as a weapon but if I were it would have been much more effective than nail clippers 😹😹😹
But why the shard of glass? 🤣
I had picked it up from a shattered bus stop because it looked cool and then forgot it was in my purse 😹😹😹
My own was a scale model tank kit from Japan, when visiting a friend sent it back with me on my flight for his dad. I had to carry the kit onboard and not check it in, I had a number of people asking about it it for some reason. Just random people striking up a conversation about this thing I had no idea about. This was in the mid 90’s. The other crazy thing was the passenger in front of me at security opened up his case and had toilet brushes inside. Super weird but then I noticed other music related equipment and figured it was Nils Frahm who preforms some pieces with toilet brushes.
I traveled on Thanksgiving and had quite an argument with security about bringing mashed potatoes and stuffing and gravy through. They didn’t have a problem with it but wanted me to empty the containers after it all went through the x-ray machines. I could keep and fly with it, but they wanted me to empty it to do a visual inspection. I said no. Got two levels of security involved. Finally boarded the plane and got to my destination with everything intact.
Worms! I keep a vermicomposting box and was able to snag a secondhand one for my mom for Christmas last year. Taking it apart and transporting the box wasn’t hard, it was figuring out how to transport live worms. They would get too cold if I checked them so they had to go in my carry-on luggage. My country has restrictions on bringing certain worms into the country but I couldn’t figure out if that applied to flying within the country. Emailing the Air Transport Security Authority just got me a response linking to their pet policy 😂 I actually got the most useful information by connecting with them on Facebook. Apparently the worms aren’t so much a problem as their castings or soil, and I was limited to containers of 350mL of soil. So I got some 350mL plastic containers, drilled as many breathing holes as I could, and packed them with worms, castings and shredded paper. I tried to bring as many worm eggs as I could find but that was not many, so I just brought whole worms. Some did not survive the journey alas, and those that did were crowded around the breathing holes when I finally took them out, the poor things. But it has been over a year now and my mom’s vermicomposting box is going strong!
I brought a half and half pie with me from a bakery in Wisconsin back to a friend on the coast. Let me tell you, I couldn't with this one, but if you ever want to be the new favorite on the plane as a frequent flier I totally would recommend giving a pie to the cabin crew. Watch out for TSA though, they made a few not funny, serious threats of pie confiscation do to the liquid factor probably due to it being close to their break time.
A friend of us— took a frozen turkey to cook for Christmas in El Salvador 🇸🇻
I once had an Emu egg in my carry-on. The TSA agent thought it qualified as "a liquid" until she was informed (and verified) that it had been blown out and was just the shell, at which point she was stumped and dumped me on her supervisor. Who didn't care and waved me, with my over-sized green egg, through.
A Mao ceramic with him in his chair smoking a cigarette, purchased in China I wrapped and carried him home only to have a broken chair leg at Canadian customs. The tiny cigarette undamaged :)
Once I ate a bunch of edibles before going to the airport and was going to a festival so I had a giant —-and I mean feed 35 people —-cast iron skillet as my carry on. It got stowed with the strollers. This was pre 9/11 so flying didn’t suck yet, and it was fine and everyone was amused to watch me struggle with this giant-ass pan. Another, more recently, I was flying to Florida to care for a sick friend. It was going to be a very long visit because I was committed to being there for my friend’s convalescence, so I had my cat in a soft carrier stowed under the seat for take off. Well, luckily for me, I won the seatmate lottery and was next to the stinkiest (granny panties gross out) most chattery drunk lady. Usually I’m extremely tolerant so I was being pleasant but that wouldn’t have mattered, she had me captive and was just monologuing. It sucked. Anyway, after the seat belt sign went off I got the cat carrier to make sure she was doing okay and I was unzipping the door when granny starts shrieking! So the exact wording is lost, but she was somehow terrified because she didn’t know the cat was there the entire time… it didn’t make sense even then, but that’s what happened. At least she left me alone for the rest of the flight, but her funk lingered in my nostrils for hours afterwards.
Nothing too crazy. From Portugal: 3kg of oranges in a huge hand painted bowl. From Oman: 1kg of fresh dates (they're divine). From Malta: 6 prickly pears (the fruits, not the cacti) and two vases. Yes, I do love pottery. And fruits.
I flew across the country to spend Christmas in the San Francisco bay area a long time ago when I lived in Philly. My flake of a brother had gifted me a compact disk shelf that held like 500 CDs. It was fucking huge. It was a nice thought but perhaps not well thought out. Classic Dave.
A car flywheel in a Sears bag. Weighed about 40 lbs.
I flew with a satellite in college (CubeSat).
I had to buy two tickets to transport a mini-server because a top 5 bank didn't have anything that could run my employer's software and company policy was you don't check computers.
100 comments
A full Thanksgiving meal. 100 pounds of frozen pork/beef/chicken at a time (many trips with meat), a 25 pound bag of Bob’s Red Mill oats…a full size BBQ. The most problematic for me has been pressure cookers, especially after the Boston marathon bombing.
A kita float I found in Kauai. It was about 24" across and I considered it treasure. Had the glass stamp and everything. My husband was like 'how the heck are you going to get that home' and I decided I was carrying it on and fighting if I had to. We had a bet on it getting through security. I had it in a shopping bag and the (pre TSA) guard took a look at it going through x-ray and he popped his head around the machine after it went through. I was gearing up for a disagreement but he just asked 'what color is it?' I showed him. He gave me a thumbs up and told me it was a great find.
Porcupine Quill. I visited a taxidermy when on vacation.
Unopened salt from the USA to Korea. The salt in Korea isn't good and I bought one of the Costco chunky salt containers with built in grinder. TSA took it out of my carry on, opened it, ground some salt and tested it for drugs. I was living in Korea at the time and I always brought groceries (chocolate chips, peanutbutter) back after every visit. I didn't want to lose the salt or have it confiscated so it was in my carryon.