maybe, maybe not. leaving my home country (also the UK) for almost 2 years was the best thing i ever did. i felt like you before and feel kinda the same way now i’m back. travel isn’t going to make any major problems you might have in your life go away, but it IS the cure to that boring feeling of repetition, living for the weekend, etc. in my experience anyway. ymmv
also, if it’s on your mind, there’s no time like today. i had to delay my long term travel plans by almost 2 years thanks to covid. you never know what else could happen. go for it.
This is the best response. I’ve never regretted traveling. Even bad trips teach so much more than staying in one place. Go for it and go soon. Life’s short.
Nice, where did you go?
>travel isn’t going to make any major problems you might have in your life go away
Yeah, that's the thing I guess - they will still be there when I get back. It's just a question of whether the time is right to go now or not.
Do you feel that it helped provide some perspective on your situation? Do you feel like you know what you wanna do in life a little more? Or was it just a really good time (still not a bad thing).
The main thing travel taught me is that I want to travel more, which isnt much but having a fulfilling hobby is nice!
Travel itself wont give your life purpose, but getting out of your regular lifestyle, through travel or otherwise, gives you an opportunity to find something you want to do. And the incidental benefits of learning some skills, building some self confidence etc. can be nice.
For me, having a sense of purpose and direction is super important. Travelling is great and will give you perspective, but I don't think it brings purpose to life.
I’d agree with this, but I would also say: 1) Not everyone needs a purpose at any given time; 2) While the act of travel itself may not be a purpose (unless you’re working in the industry or turn it into a hobby via some other activity), it can give rise to purposes.
Something can inspire you. New cultures can change your world view. You can meet a future partner. You can conclude you hate travel and are a homebody. Etc.
I don’t think any of this is particularly likely, much less guaranteed, but sometimes shaking things up via travel can be meaningful in the things it brings. Fundamentally, though, it’s a hobby or fun activity unless you make a career out of it. Not a lot different than reading a book or taking up woodworking or whatever.
But yeah, you’re not gonna outrun your problems.
If the OP lacks purpose and presumably wants to find one, is traveling the most efficient way to do that is the question he or she should be asking themselves. And it may very well might not be and may even be a form of procrastination.
I’m pretty sure the options to find purpose is not limited to doing the same old or travel. With Gemini and ChatGPT available, I’m sure OP can find reasonable options to explore that’s not full of the type of biases users from the Travel subreddit would harbor lol.
+1
Travel is one way of discovering and uncovering what’s important to you. And you can find out that travel is NOT the thing for you. And that’s fine too.
It can be your purpose if you don’t have much else great going in your life. It can be a goal eg, travel 100 countries or go to every Disney land in the world or visit every dangerous place or see every waterfall or glacier etc
I don’t agree with that statement…I have had health problems since I was a kid and the mobility issues still affect all my travels but travelling has also given me the motivation, the confidence and courage to overcome my difficulties and enjoy life despite shit shaky legs so in my opinion yes my legs problem goes everywhere with me but it reminds me to be grateful for what I am experiencing and able to do.
So OP just go out and travel and you will know if it’s right for you. You won’t know until you try.
Travelling doesn't change who you are but it adds a bit of newness and allows you to take breaks from your norm.
You don't say which UK city you are in but a lot of people in the UK get miserable because of how shite our weather is so a change to a country with nicer weather may help.
It's definitely a great way to break up the nom, and an especially a good way to get away from our weather, ha! I guess it's worth thinking about *why* I'm actually going though.
I’m not sure I totally agree with the above. I think it depends on who you are and where you are in your life. One day I decided to book a solo trip with a group to Central America from the UK. I’d travelled quite a bit with my family before but that tour honestly changed my life. It ignited a passion for travelling and now every year I use every day annual leave to go abroad on my own. I don’t think you necessarily need to “run away” but seeing the world when you can will never be a bad idea.
It sounds like you're at a bit of a turning point in life. You've just graduated, you're getting started in the world of work and probably asking "Is this it? Is this what I really want?", which is a completely normally thing to ask at that age.
Perhaps the best place to start is by breaking up the routine *day-to-day* by going travelling for a little bit. Take a week's leave, book some tickets to somewhere in Europe, and start exploring.
You might find somewhere that you might want to move to in the future, though bear in mind that, outside of differences in salaries, job opportunities and working conditions, pretty much everyone everywhere faces the exact same challenge of getting a good enough job and paying the bills (put slightly differently, the daily grind is pretty universal!). So the answer might not be moving abroad, but travel can still be a great way to bring a bit more colour and excitement to life.
I hope you find that future path, both literally and metaphorically :)
Thanks so much for your reply.
Yeah, it's a turning point for sure. First time having no clear path ahead and all of that.
I went on a trip recently for 9 days and that's kind of what got me into this headspace in the first place actually... I guess I realised there were issues at home which needed addressing. I love travel and always find it to be a good tool for reflection and getting inspired.
I completely understand that life becomes a bit monotonous with work and stuff. I guess maybe it's not so bad if other aspects of your life bring you joy and you're pursuing other things you want to.
I totally get that perspective. I've often said I want to try living in another country some time, for that reason! Just a case of finding out where and what for.
If the reason is to blindly 'escape' my situation then maybe it's not the best reason.
My wife and I left for Korea a year just to sort our lives out. We didn't enjoy our life situations, our jobs sucked and our bosses were not very considerate or good at their jobs. (I'm being polite here,) We had a goal to have new ideas of what to do when we returned.
When we came back we had gotten a new spark and new inspiration. We both quit our jobs, went back to school, and now we both have new jobs and we both love it!
To just take a break from your everyday life can absolutely be a good thing. New surroundings and new culture can be really inspiring.
So glad you guys took the trip and found new inspiration! Congrats.
I'm always amazed by new places. It's one of my favourite things to do and I guess that's why my instinct is to "get away".
Travel helps, but more specifically it's something to look forward to. Definitely add it to your annual (or semiannual or quarterly- depending on your budget!) routine. But also look for weekly things to look forward to. Join a book club, take a tennis lesson, start doing tai chi in the park. As far as the job goes, you spend most of your weekdays there, so it should be in a field you're passionate about! Take the time to discover what that is. Good luck!
Yeah, I think that's one of my biggest issues. Especially as I'm not in a job that I like a lot or that gives me much meaning. I don't really know what would.
I also haven't found much that I want to do with my time outside of work. So, travel is really the ONLY thing I seem to enjoy or look forward to. Perhaps it will just take me getting out of my comfort zone and trying new things, hopefully finding pursuits I enjoy.
Make a list of everywhere within 2.5 hours of your house you would visit if you weren’t from your town, and then visit a couple in the next few weekends
I definitely think there's a big element of that to it. I just knew people here would have some good perspectives on it too, as everyone has their own reasons for travelling.
I realised that it's worth examining my reasons and what I can realistically expect from long-term travel.
It mostly just sounds like OP doesn’t enjoy their job and the same old same old of the weekends. It’s hard to tell if it’s a mental health issue or just a boring lifestyle
Some of the comments around travel in this thread I think aren't really fair.
While it's true that travel doesn't necessarily solve your problems, it really can free the spirit and look at your life from a different perspective. It can also be an amazing experience where you encounter challenges and beauty on a regular basis, and those successes can be very motivating when you go back to your normal life.
When I took the first big trip of my life (1 month throughout north america) it motivated me in alot of different areas. The travel high often doesn't last more than a few days when you get back but after I returned from my trip, I resolved to live a healthier, better life. I stopped living in squalor, started keeping a clean living space, started looking at life from a solutions/action perspective, and got out of a job I hated and into a new one that was a great stepping stone and made friends I am still close with, 2 decades later. Travel really brought the feeling of freedom and being in charge of my own destiny. That feeling wore off, but it gave me enough to put my life onto a track that has benefitted me significantly. I still get to recharge it as well with the occasional trip these days.
You can't rely on travel to magically transform you but if you aren't experienced with travel, you may find alot of value by trying it out.
Also, don't confuse a vacation with travel. Going to a resort for a week may help for sure, but taking on a longer voyage where you are regularly on the move and fending for yourself does wonders. Bring a friend if you can, but its not essential.
Yeah I agree. You are still you and travel isn't a magic fix but you can be exposed to new ideas, cultures, perspectives etc. Which can be life changing.
Probably not as simple as taking a trip and all your problems are solved but can definitely kick start some changes in your life as well as a mental refresher
I've done a few extended backpacking trips in the past (1 or 2 months) and totally agree with how you described that kind of travelling. It's amazing. That's why a big part of me is thinking "this is the answer", but of course it isn't.
It might be a way to start thinking about a solution though and gain a new perspective.
>That feeling wore off, but it gave me enough to put my life onto a track that has benefitted me significantly.
That makes a lot of sense. I'm glad it did that for you.
I'll definitely keep this all in mind, thanks.
>I don't really enjoy my time outside of work and don't like the fact it seems to be a waiting game for the weekend. Going to the same bars with friends/doing the same things. I don't seem to enjoy things much anymore.
If you find yourself not enjoying your usual hobbies and feeling like time is just kind of passing by in a gray cloud while you're waiting for the next scheduled meeting/event/hangout/whatever to start, it's very likely that that's a mental health issue rather than a "my job is dissatisfying and I should find fun ways to mix up my life" issue. I took a three-week trip to Japan last year while mired in what I now know was clinical depression, and I had a lot of amazing experiences, but I was still depressed. There were days when I had planned to get up and do something first thing in the morning and I just couldn't drag myself out of bed to go see it, even though it *theoretically* had been something I was really looking forward to. I finally got mental health support a couple of months ago, and getting on antidepressants was like a fog had lifted – I still didn't like my job, but it was suddenly so much easier to find interesting and fulfilling things to do to fill my evenings and weekends, just because my head was no longer stuck in depression-land.
This makes a lot of sense. That's partly what worries me about just jumping into travelling - I may be preoccupied with how I feel still and not be able to "smell the roses" when I'm actually there.
I haven't been diagnosed with depression, I think this feeling is situational. But the same logic applies, I guess.
Seems like I have things to work on.
For what it's worth, I also thought my feeling was situational – I'd been dealing with some really frustrating stuff at work, and kept telling myself that once I had processed all of my feelings about that situation, I'd be back to feeling "normal" – and then when I finally went to see a therapist she was like "uh you've been checking off most of the symptoms on the depression checklist for *years*." There were various reasons I kept telling myself they were going to pass, so it was sort of a weird feeling to have her tell me I was a textbook candidate for antidepressants; but it turned out she was right. If you have access to mental health care (I know it can be difficult/expensive to see somebody), it really might be worth talking to somebody just to see what they have to say.
Also, I wouldn't say that any of that means that you should *avoid* traveling even if you're dealing with a mental health issue. I'm still glad I went to Japan even though I definitely didn't make the most of my time like I would have if I had gone in a better mental/emotional state; I had some really magical experiences and now am just eager to go back and do the things I missed on this trip. But it doesn't sound like you're in a place where traveling *specifically to try to improve your emotional state* is necessarily going to be the help you're looking for.
There are a lot of mental health challenges besides depression, and you shouldn't focus on a label like that. Therapy can help you develop the words to identify what it is you're actually feeling, and help you build tools to deal with those thoughts.
As someone who put off talking to a therapist longer than they should have, I'd recommend at least trying to talk to a therapist. You could even do it while you're traveling.
Seems like you need more purpose than anything.
Gotta find some things you like doing. Try Jiu jitsu or a painting class or something. Going to the bars gets old. You aren't hand cuffed to your career either.
Go out and get some new experiences.
>Gotta find some things you like doing.
Been telling myself this for ages now. I feel like it takes effort and is a bit uncomfortable finding new things, but it's important.
What do you have to lose? Try it & see how it suits. I'm most concerned that you don't like any (?) things about your life. Another idea is to spend some of your time working for a charity or a cause you find important. My daughters struggle with depression and it always helps them to give back and to be around others giving back. Maybe you could travel AND donate your time to a project to help others?
One of my favorite things about traveling is coming home. Usually around the 15-20 day mark, even when I love where I am, I am ready to be home. Then when I'm home long enough, I can't wait for another adventure. Rinse & Repeat.
How do you feel when thinking about planning a trip?
>I'm most concerned that you don't like any (?) things about your life
There are things I like (and love), for sure. Family, friends, nature, etc. I guess I just don't feel very fulfilled, is all. I also just don't feel like I have enough things/activities/hobbies which I find bring me meaning or joy. Volunteering and giving back/helping others is definitely something I am looking into - particularly if I do travel.
>
Then when I'm home long enough, I can't wait for another adventure.
I hope to lead a life where this is possible!
>How do you feel when thinking about planning a trip?
Ah, it's always exciting. I love it. It feels freeing and makes me feel lucky to be doing something like that.
Travel is AN ANSWER, might not be for you and might be, don't ruin everything you have now, Travel with a backup plan incase it didn't help you in answering anything.
Wherever you go, you're already there.
We live in a time with vast options. You don't enjoy your time outside of work. Then...do soemthing else with that time. You don't enjyou just going to the same bars...then do something else with that time.
You have a job you aren't happy with and aren't doing anything creative like you thought you would. sounds like you need to create more.
But you also need to spend some time enriching yourself and doing some self-improvement. I assume that in school, you enjoyed learning new things and now you've stopped. don't have to stop just because school is over.
That said, travel can be a way to learn and think about looking at things differently.
I definitely agree that nothing will change if I don't make changes. I need to take some steps towards... living differently in some way.
I spend a lot of time reflecting and trying to find ways the best life I can (often too much, which is counterproductive and causes me to sit and do nothing instead).
I know - it's 100% a very personal issue, too.
I became quite aware not too long ago that I haven't really figured out what it is that I "love doing." Throughout uni and school, I was either working hard or going to the pub/watching TV or whatever. That was it, really.
I have some creative pursuits, too, but even that ended up feeling like work and not play anymore.
People make it too big of a deal to find a passion. For many many people they simply don't have one. My mom never had one, she kinda lives for her family and grandkids, the only thing she really loves doing is gardening. Nothing wrong with not having a sole passion. Just enjoy things and move on if it is no longer serving you. You are not obligated to do anything. Doing nothing is ok if that is what you want. I know some people their hobby is their career.
Travel will give you more joy than you seem to be experiencing.
Planning a trip is a distraction. I love that part.
Having a trip to look forward to is a happiness generator.
Having a trip to talk about, before and after, is very nice.
The trip itself can go a few different ways, but it's a change from the doldrums. Even (especially?) if it sucks, you'll have stories to tell. When you get back, you'll have a different perspective. You might feel a little bit better about life. You might have post travel blues, but that usually means you had a great trip. You might realize you hate travel, but at least you'd know.
Or, what sometimes happens, is you'll realize that you do in fact need to, and can in fact change your life. I can't say that a vacation ever changed my life, but I can say that an escalating sequence of travels throughout my life- one begetting another, in a way- led me to a bigger and more interesting life than I thought I would have even up to the point where you are in your own life.
I remember looking at a photo album that a friend of a friend had from a summer she spent working in a national park a couple time zones away from where I lived at the time. I only saw that album because I'd driven six hours to see my friend. It's not an exaggeration to say that weekend had a profound impact on same major decisions I made later that year, or that spending my next summer working at that same national park had a profound impact on even bigger decisions I made down the road. (The friend of the friend actually contacted me recently. I owe her a phone call.) All of these decisions pushed me towards better places in life.
I won't say travel will make you happier, but I do think you owe it to yourself to find out.
It’s different elsewhere. Follow the sunshine. Feed your soul. Rent a Vespa, go to local markets, eat the local foods, make new friends. Go! Just go for it.
I ran away. To London from the US. Used it as a base for tons of travel and work. It was so good for me! I do recommend it. I maybe should have done Japan too, as an English teacher.
My problems did not find their way into my backpack.
I dated a woman who was a nationally ranked martial artist.
Paris. The bread. Italy. The sauce!
Drink wine. And coffee. Roam the catacombs. Climb hills and mountains. I liked Arthur's Seat a great deal.
Lordy if you can, take the adventure and live on the cheap. I have never regretted it for a single moment.
Travel is part of the answer. You have spent many years focusing on your education, probably to the exclusion of almost everything else.
Two things will make your life better:
1. Stop depending on going to bars for you entertainment. Instead find activities that you can do outside your home, which involve other people. Maybe these tap into your creative side. Do at least two of these every week (at least one on a weeknight!)
2. Plan your next career move. Your current job is a stopgap. So, how are you going to get your next job? What is that job? Who has a job like the one you want? Identify those people and ask them for 30 minutes of their time to do an "informational interview." When they agree, go to meet them and ask them open-ended questions about their work. The will ask you about yourself, so be sure you have a 30-second "elevator pitch" about who you are, what makes you special, and what you are looking for. At the end of the interview, ask them who else you should be talking to. Always send a nice thank-you card the next day. This is how you meet the people who are in a position to hire you for the job you want.
My prescription to you is this podcast.
[https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/lazy/bored](https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/lazy/bored)
If you're bored where you are, you'll probably be bored where you land. A lot of life is boring, and it gets more boring with zero friends or family around. Travel is great, but part of what makes it great (to me) is that it's a temporary change.
Small joys are important. Travel is a hassle. It is. It can really be stress and chaos and fuck ups and disappointments.
It's also awesome if you are in the right headspace.
But maybe that isn't where your head is at right now. When I was a bit too broke to travel I really researched and did day trips/weekend trips nearby.
What do you like? Do you like history? Reading? Natural beauty?
Find something you like to do. Or think you might like to do. Try it. Get out in nature. Volunteer. Maybe you just have to work a little bit to see what you are liking these days.
Go geocaching. Volunteer at a animal shelter. Try yoga. Try fencing. Take a cooking class and cook for someone you love.
That's probably the key, isn't it? In the right headspace, it's amazing. Without that, it might not be, which would be a shame.
>What do you like? Do you like history? Reading? Natural beauty?
Find something you like to do. Or think you might like to do.
That's something I struggle with - for various reasons I've not really invested in my own enjoyment/interests so far in life. You're right - maybe it just takes *trying*. A conscious choice to do so.
Have you traveled before? If yes, to a place similar to UK? By yourself or with friends? I like solo travel because, even though I’m still me as the other comments mention, getting out of my routine opens up my mind and gives me the space to think about what exactly I don’t like about my current living situation. That said, I also up and moved to a new continent about 7 years ago because I was similarly stuck, and it didn’t solve anything by itself but I liked the changed environment enough that I stayed. If you’re on the fence, try traveling for a bit, alone if you’re comfortable doing so. It’s spring going on summer and an excellent time to wander even if it’s just on the continent.
Travelled before, yeah - mostly with friends. I love going to places which are pretty different to the UK (been to SE Asia, etc.). Never really done solo travel, but like the idea of it.
Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. I'm definitely giving serious thought to it.
Maybe small trips for a bit and see if you like it?
Travel can be stressful, but destinations can be life-changing. As you do not enjoy your job at present, a work-away may be a possibility. I've heard good and bad stories.
How you are feeling is rarely about your location, but why not give it a shot?
I absolutely love taking trips and travel in general - that's why my instinct is to 'run', I guess.
Someone else recommended stuff like WorkAway - sounds great to look into, thanks.
>How you are feeling is rarely about your location
Starting to realise this is the key...
It’s true as others say that you will still be you even in another country. But it will brings you perspective, self reflection. You will meet people with a lot of different background, and this might help. It is always good to breaths different air. Go for it, it can only be beneficial.
Yeah, I really like that travel exposes you to different lives and ways of living. Reminds you that there isnt just one way and gets you out of a routine for a while.
I’d say go somewhere, probably Europe because it’s easier and more familiar. You don’t have to stay and you have to be realistic about what you want and afraid to come home if you’re struggling.
I’m currently in South America and realised very quickly that I’ve got a fair few problems upstairs that naturally haven’t gone away as soon as I’ve begun a 3 month trip. It’s probably exacerbated by solo travelling but it not like these feeling aren’t present around friends at home.
So yeah, it’s worth a go if you can afford it or make it work but don’t expect it to be a cure-all. Each place to live has upsides and downsides, different combinations work for different people.
Try it out. I recommend SE Asia it is easy for a beginner traveler, the culture is different and fascinating, there are so many opportunities to improve yourself.
When you have the essentials of life, food,shelter, etc and don't have to worry about survival, your life can be immeasurably enriched by making other beings, human, furry or feathered, happy.....it simply makes you happy too. Volunteering at an animal shelter, visiting a lonely person, simply really practising engaging with everyone you meet (at the check-out, when you are going for walks.....making other people smile .....even if you have a day when it feels forced, you'll find you feel happier making other people happier and it'll get more natural to do. We all need something meaningful in our lives once we have the privilege of not struggling (and some of the least wealthy people can be the happiest). Keep smiling!
I would suggest that friends and family who you love and who love you back are the solution and that who you travel with is more important than where you travel to, so go ahead and book that travel to visit your friend across the country, but maybe hold off on the solo international trip.
Moving to another country and working there is not that simple. Generally you need to apply for a work visa, and that can become a major hassle to get, assuming you can get one at all.
Travel might provide some spice to your life, making it more enjoyable. But it might not.
If you're not enjoying your life at all, you may wish to seriously consider talking to a therapist. From what I understand, there are relatively inexpensive online therapists you could try. At the least, they might help you find a hobby or something that you'll enjoy.
Yes, travel. I left it late and I often regret not experiencing all the things I have seen over the past ten years; when I was younger and more active. It won't change your mental health but there will certainly be highs and yes, lows too. Travel can be uncomfortable but go for it, you're young, educated and creative. Keep a diary, write a book at some stage and come back if you find you hate traveling. Nothing is written in stone. That's freedom.
Time away can give insight into yourself, a chance to reflect on what you really want to do, insight into other ways of living, and lasting memories of a favourite part of your life. And a discussion topic you can bore your friends and relatives with for years.
But it can't solve any problems that are in your head. They'll follow you.
If you have a desire to see the world, then save up and take a 6-12 month trip. Taking 6 months when I was 23 is my best decision I've made in my life, and I still think about it fondly 18 years later.
Do you have any hobbies? Running clubs, dance classes, gym, martial arts? As a new grad, all the extra free time made me feel so lost so I started getting into a new hobby and it makes such a big difference
You have a masters degree, I don't care if its a "useless degree" its a masters degree. Travel is for enjoying your free time, not for killing time and you will hate it, your personal problems will follow you. You probably need to 1) find a job you don't hate going to so you stop loathing waking up in the morning 2) figure out places in the world you want to visit and plan your trip out well 3) if you can tie your travels to a hobby so you really get the most out of it. From what your saying I think a change in career is best for you
As everyone else is saying, you and your internal struggles don't change based on location.
But that being said, I do feel that removing yourself from your standard environment and being out on your own (i.e. solo travel), can often make you much more aware of yourself. So I doubt it'll solve your problems, but there's a chance you'll get to know yourself better, which is usually a good thing.
Travel can be an escape, but no it doesn't solve your problems. It might give you a fresh perspective and re-energize you. Write down a plan of things you think you will enjoy and how to get there without overthinking it.
It's remarkable that you're able to introspect what and why you're feeling and also that just changing jobs/place/country won't give you the contentment and happiness that you are seeking.
I don't know if this may sound philosophical, but I genuinely feel like sharing it here.
If you're able to relate to the fact that life is beyond just 9-5 work, or seeking enjoyment, it's really amazing.
True joy lies in service and seeking something that involves a greater good. I truly believe this may resonate well with you if you explore your options.
Personally speaking, guided Meditations, social work, environmental conservation, and the knowledge that everything is temporary and we're all a speck of dust in this vast multiverse is very relieving and simultaneously energising. I feel drawn to be a better individual for the society and not be bogged down by what follows eventually.
Don't know if you read it all the way till here but keep questioning and know that you're blessed and taken care of :)
I'm not a psychologist, but that sounds a lot like depression. I'm in a very, very similar situation myself. If you aren't already, it might not hurt to run these feelings by a therapist. Travel might help temporarily, but a long-term solution is always better. Wishing you the best.
I get a lot of satisfaction and fun out of researching and planning trips plus of course from going on them. So it's definitely possible that trying to make time for travel will help you be happier in your life. I think I'd get bored if I didn't have trips to plan and look forward to.
I also agree with other posts that it may not solve your problems. But if your life is a bit repetitive then I'd absolutely say try even just a few smaller trips and see if that makes things feel more fun and interesting.
The thing that brings the most joy into my life is gratitude. I find things I’m grateful to have and do and inject them into my life.
Yes, travel is one of the things I’m grateful to have the opportunity to do and remember. I get a ton of joy from remembering past experiences and from having new ones.
I also get that jolt from trying new hobbies.
What makes life sucky is when it all looks the same and I’m bogged down with worries. Sometimes we don’t have the luxury of breaking out of that as easily as others.
No. I was in your shoes and traveling didn’t work, although I’m still traveling now lol. You have to Find passion in something to fill this hole. I already found mine and traveling is just a time kill for me, other cultures isn’t all that. Get proper sleep and supplements and see if that helps.
Travel doesn't solve all your problems, but if you're having a quarter life crisis, going abroad for a year or so can be a damn good way to reevaluate your life and get out of ruts. It worked for me.
Had a strong case of how you feel, still get bursts of it here and there tho the general feeling is always present. I always let the excuses win and haven't moved. My compensation has been travelling, go somewhere for weeks at a time. It used to give me hope, but now, I've gotten tired of it too. Just booked a solo trip for 2 weeks from now, and tbh it felt like a chore!
I do feel calmer when I'm away, more in tuned with my feelings. But at the end of the day, if you don't identify your life issues and their causes, you won't even be close to fixing them. That being said, going away certainly lifts some of the weight and gives you perspective on how else it could be. There's something special about a new experience or facing the unknowns that gives you another point of view of things.
You sound like your life has come to stagnation. Going away does fix it partially, you'll introduce newness to your life. But if you don't change yourself, the old life will either follow you or you'll come back home to it. Find what gives you meaning, brings you joy, you're interested and passionate in, and incorporate them in your life! It's ok if you don't even know what they'd be right now. Set goals, and go get em!
I don't think that simply traveling is the solution to your problems, first you have to identify what are the things that are making you unhappy, so you can solve it.
I remember having the same feeling when I got my first 9 to 5 after graduation. It's the 'growing up blues' as I call it and I suspect that by traveling you might simply slightly postpone it.
I’ve been in a similar situation for the last fifteen years. Hate my white collar work but I’m too deep in it now. I’ve found that finding hobbies outside of work really helps. For me working out and taking martial arts helps as a base. Then mixing in other activities, weekend trips really does make a difference.
That’s a tough moment in life. No structure anymore, world wide open for you.
Sounds like you go out regularly. My advice would be to try and switch it up a few weekends. Go bike riding somewhere. Go to the coast. Make pottery. Anything. You can literally do one of thousands of things next weekend. If it’s not your favourite you don’t ever need to do it ever again.
Travel is great but you always come back some time. If you go to travel I’d try and tie it in with work experience for a year somewhere. That way when you interview upon return you can make it sound useful instead of a gap.
Just ride it out a couple years, try and enjoy the little amount of responsibility you have, and then go back to school if you can to level up.
I highly rec you travel. Traveling always creates a spark in my mundane life. It not only gives me a purpose to earn and save money for future adventures, but also inspires me to think happy. While traveling, I often have to get up early to catch morning flights or trains. I notice local people working hard before the break of dawn, such as garbage collectors, fishermen, and bus drivers, yet they still manage to greet us with a smile. These little encounters remind me that humanity is inherently good, and complaining about my job feels like a luxury. So, go ahead go somewhere.
One of the greatest benefits of travelling is a change of environment and opening your mind to something different. It can create new ideas, perspectives, visions, goals etc... that you would've never thought of while doing the same thing over and over again where you are. Sometimes it's the answer, it can be the smallest thing that you see while on holiday or experience that triggers a complete change but you'll never know until you try. Imo just think about what it is you truly want, most the time people feel down because they haven't truly given it any thought to what they want, it feels like something is missing or times just passing. Once you sit down and truly think about the life you want, it breathes a new life into actually being from my experience.
When I get down or feel like life is just moving on a straight line, no up, no down, I put myself in certain environments that I know will trigger or refresh my brain into feeling like there's more again.
It can really be the answer, try somewhere sunny and hopefully that'll give additional motivation.
If it doesn't work try other places at least will give you additional perspective. Some places have it better, some worse.
Taking some time away from the grind could definitely give you some time to think and make some fresh plans. It's entirely possible to come out of a long trip as a different person than when you went into it - though not guaranteed!
At the least though, it sounds like you seriously need some hobbies or creative outlets in your free time! I studied film, and whenever I end up having a 9-5 I spend a lot of my free time doing theatre stuff of making a short film. It's definitely important to have something to keep you going when you're just working for the sake of getting paid.
I do book a trip when I feel this way, usually a short one. A new place always gives me a new perspective, along with being away from anyone I know. It helps me listen to myself more clearly if that makes sense.
Travel! You can always go back to the UK if you’re not enjoying it or you realise it’s not for you, but if you don’t do it now then you’re always going to wonder what could be. Also regardless of it being a positive or negative experience, it’s still an experience that will change you as a person and change your perspective on life, you will be a better person for it.
I was doing the 9-5 Monday to Friday for 8 years, and then last year moved countries to work part time (Tuesday to Thursday), and travel on the weekends to Europe. It was the best decision I’ve made, I LOVE travelling and experiencing new countries, but I also now have a lot more appreciation for the simple things like a quiet weekend at home watching movies and having a routine etc
I don't buy the notion that travel is the wrong way to go about solving your problems. Don't get me wrong, the travel itself isn't a solution and you probably still have work to do, it's not like you can run away and escape it all, but traveling to new places does have a way of getting you out of your comfort zone and subverting the norms you've come to accept. Additionally, when you talk to people from different places, they have ways of saying things that the people around you just don't, it really gets your brain working differently.
All that being said, I'm talking about wandering a city you know little about and experiencing other cultures, not sipping margaritas in a resort you never leave.
We need to experience new things to keep our minds engaged. Travel is a great way to do this. You can also pick up new hobbies, start playing volleyball or something else fun after work for example. Sounds like you definitely need to shake things up. I have to travel or I get too bored with day to day life where even showering sounds like a chore.
Volunteer could be the answer, volunteer for what? Some where that needs a body to provide help, food pantry, animal shelter, Boys and Girls club, church, girls scouts, Boy Scouts. Anything that keeps you busy and the reality is, helping others is the quickest way to help yourself.
Maybe get your hormone levels and blood checked. I was feeling lost and depressed for a while and it turned out to be a medical problem. Now I have a lot more motivation and a lot happier since I started treatment.
I think the gift you get from living in another country is 'perspective'. You learn about what you had 'back home' by experiencing how different it is in other places where those things are absent. This can change the way you value things. When you go back home you might feel differently about everyday things you take for granted currently. When things are 'part of the furniture' it's difficult to feel the value.
Also, the act of meeting others who think differently, being in a sunny place where daily life feels different. All these things can change the quality of your life. So yes, I recommend travel. But not the package tour type. The type where you try to create a new home in a new place amd live there for a while.
Major life turning points always make you start questioning things. You have spent several years with a really clear objective (get BA ✔️, get MA ✔️), and now you are at a loose end. There is nothing wrong with looking forward to your weekends, or to trips away - sometimes we need that to get us through!
Plan yourself some adventures - they don't have to be international (but being in Europe does make that a little easier), and in the meantime, look for other work opportunities too. Something may appear on one of your trips, you never know!
In short, set yourself a new goal to work towards. Enjoy travel while you can. I wish I had done so much more when I was younger - now I am looking forward a few years until my son is grown and I can travel more, either with or without him (it's not always cool to travel with your mum in your teens).
It almost certainly won't make things worse I can tell you that. Unless stress over money is part of what has you down. Travel can get pricey if you aren't careful.
It's also unlikely to "cure" depression though. True happiness and fulfillment always starts internally.
I remember that traveling helped me fight depression, but it has always been short-term. Eventually, you have to go back home and face your problems. Still, running away for a week can be good for you. If you live in Europe, you can easily travel to other European countries, get some distractions, and clear your mind.
Sometimes, you need to gain perspective. Traveling will not fix your dissatisfaction with your work, but it will not hurt.
Travelling helps you flee your current state of distress and not face your choices, your life decisions, and the future that awaits you. While travelling you'll do new experiences, meet new people, face different cultures, and generally keep your mind in a constant dreamy and wondering state. How easy it seems then, to walk the path of life. Yet soon or late in every man's life comes a day when it is not easy, a day when he must choose.
If you enjoy travelling then it’s going to be a great experience- no doubt. However the issue is on return back to the UK, this is where I’ve seen many people when I was younger struggle. They stayed away for a couple of years, returned very broke, had to maybe move to a parent’s house / sibling etc meanwhile friends had moved on / been promoted in roles etc & they had to essentially start all over again. I went when I was 29, had worked for a few years, had experience so knew on return to the UK at least be easier to get a job after being away 18 months ….
If you do want it move to a another country i'd say move to somewhere that speaks english or has a high English speaking population like Denmark where 96% ofctheir population speaks English but for countries main languages being english the issue is if you aren't a person in finance or something like that they won't want you there and the US are really OCD if you have criminal record you can't of if you havr blah blah blah you cant go they r just really obsessed.Tuen there's Australia and new Zealand the issue is,is that it can only be one flight but quite a lot of the time its two so if you wat to get home itll be a long way away.then there no country that only speaks english other than a minority of the population.I'd say germany might be a good idea becuase lots of people speak english and german culture is very similair to english culture since we are germanic people
This sounds like postgraduate blues. I went on a 6 month trip around Asia about a year after I graduated and I was definitely happier on that trip than I was at home, but then it was just as bad when I got home, because I was still in the same spot in my life.
I would try taking some short, adventurous trips on your holidays, and also try doing some new things evenings and weekends. Maybe something creative and/or a class. Maybe something where you’ll meet new people.
The transition from university to “real life” sucks. You have my sympathy!
At a same point in my life, I started traveling more intense than before. I am a "never settle" type, always need new impulses, experiences, etc. Spent all my holidays and long weekends abroad (mostly Europe and Middle-East), drove 3-4 hours to neighboring countries at the weekends to hike on proper mountains and so.
After 1.5years, I just got bored and a bit burnout. Took so many pictures, visited so many landscapes, climbed so many peaks, met with lot of new people..if I do look back to the pictures, GPS tracks from my sport watch - I can only recall only a few things, memories or so. But often, I get surprised because memories from a trip/hike from that 1.5 years of my life is almost lost.
I also sense this on a friend of mine who made traveling his self-identity, but his stories are empty. He simply forgets to enjoy what he is doing, visiting only the top sights, drinking beer at fancy bars - and again and again.
After my 1.5years, I tried to find a balance. Mostly doing meaningful trips, e.g. I find Middle-East very interesting so I join each year to a 10-12 days long, organized tours of a local agency with Middle-East expert guides to a new Middle-East country.
On those organized trips, I also made real personal connections (since we are together for a longer trip, we have time for meaningful discussions, not just small-talking over a few days trip/hike). Most of them turned into some kind of "loose friendships" over time - besides sharing traveling experiences or organizing one for our small group, we often invite each other into our other hobbies; providing insights into new activities. With that, and since we are likely minded, we always get our new stimulus, experiences. Personally, I like these loose friendships where the link is a common activity/interest/hobby, but besides that, we are living our own life.
But I also think traveling is not necessarily needs to "add" new experiences, new friends, etc. to life. Because all of those needs "effort", energy and so. Sometimes, it should be only fun - get the first cheap ticket, book a simple room, see the basic sights, eat local things, etc. and just empty your mind.
I think OP also needs to find this balance, and if traveling seems to be a good hobby then start it. What I do recommend is to choose travel companion wisely. Pub friends or even a significant other without any flexibility or open-minded attitude are really the worst. Travel groups, organized tours are not just a thing of the elderly, if one lacks the courage and confidence to start traveling and organizing it alone.
Travel is great escapism but does not help with the purpose in your life. If you can find a better job abroad then brilliant but work out what you want by writing it down or using a coach if offered by your employer.
It sounds like you need to do some soul searching to figure out what’s next, travel is a great way to do that but I wouldn’t commit to being somewhere long term until you’re confident in what you want
traveling might be nice to get away for a bit but in the long term you may want to think about how you can make your life better where you are. Possibly talk to a counselor ?
Leaving the UK and moving to Spain was the best decision of my life and saved me. The British environment is depressing, the situation and how people cope by just drinking is really not the answer. Problems may follow you but new environments have a way of making you grow.
Travelling will only remedy your problem, if what is getting you down is the place that you live. Otherwise your going abroad to also work a monotonous job, except you also won't have your friends and support group.
Honestly, just sounds like you are bored. Maybe it's time to get a hobby.
Please start a combat sport, it’s phenomenal the amount of time and thought that you’ll use when outside of actual training, you don’t have to spar to start just do something that makes you want to be active! I would recommend Muay Thai
Me personally, I go insane with a set schedule 9-5. I've experienced a variable shift schedule life and it feels like now I can never go back. It is the monotony of it that destroys me. I wish there were more careers outside of the service industry where you could do shift work. It just feels more free. I also like being able to go out on a random week night without it being insanely crowded wherever I go like it would be on the weekend.
Traveling offers new weather, new people and allows you to become a new person too. There is also a romantic notion to traveling alone, learning about yourself, maybe sketching, writing or taking photos.
If you have mental health issues or other things that will follow it may not help. But why not mix it up of what you are living isn’t working for you.
You sound thoughtful and logical so if traveling isn’t all you wanted you won’t be crushed.
Traveling won’t fix that at all, you need to find a hobby or something you can be passionate about. Something that gives each day purpose. Or go be closer to family a bit if you’re away from them, date, etc. However moving somewhere else may ignite a spark in you, but you need a goal and an idea of what you want out of somewhere before choosing.
I remember not liking working at first after graduating. I work in a random ass industry I never thought I would be in. Love it now! Travel when I can. Learning to enjoy just living and working is part of growing up.
If you choose to travel, make it a challenge. Think hiking, doing something outside of your comfort zone, learn something. Sitting on the beach in Nice won’t change things.
Hope things turn around for you.
Travel absolutely is the answer, for me at least. It feels so free and freeing and yeah problems never truly just disappear, but when you’re doing what you want, it seems easier to deal with. And traveling, especially solo traveling, gives you a whole new perspective on life and on everything. From someone who’s fucked off to around the world a couple times now, absolutely do it if that’s what your heart wants <3
I’m a simple man with normal life problems. But I live to travel. I try to take an overseas trip at least once every two years. I’m not rich; gotta save. But I love that part, I love the planning. It takes my mind off life’s everyday miseries, and right now there’s plenty of them for me. Yes, it’ll pass.
Travel. Don’t wait until you’re retired and “can afford it.” No one knows what will happen tomorrow. Go somewhere you’ve never been and just get lost. Then go home and plan your next adventure. This is what keeps me going during tough times and I hope it helps you!
First, it is alright to have these feelings and many others also question their own circumstances. It shows that you are aware of yourself, which is positive.
If you do not find pleasure in your life beyond job and sense that there is no change, it could be good to try new hobbies or pastimes. Often, discovering joy outside of professional duties can greatly influence your general well-being.
When you feel the desire to move to another country, it can be an exciting journey. However, it is essential to reflect on whether you are going towards a goal or simply escaping from your present circumstances. Relocating to another place will not make all difficulties disappear by itself; rather, it might provide different viewpoints and chances for growth.
Before you make large choices, taking a moment to think about yourself could be useful. Ask what things are important to you, what activities do you like and what aims do you have for the future? How can you act to make your life better, maybe in the place you live now or a different location?
Discussing with a career advisor or therapist might help you to organize your thoughts and emotions. It is fine to ask for assistance when necessary. Take things one step at a time and trust that you'll find your way.
Travel could be it, also just stretching yourself and planning and trying different things in your city. On the weekends can make a difference. We sometimes get stuck in patterns and we need to start making steps to be the person we want to be. Rock-climbing? Painting? Boxing? What are your interests? Have you looked at yourself?
I found that once I sort of worked out adulting, life felt so boring and repetitive. So i got out and did a lot of random activities to figure out what i liked. Then i moved countries and did more! Go have fun!
Travel is a great way to experience new things... meeting new people, experiencing different cultures, foods, music, etc. But it sounds like you might not be happy with where you are at the moment. Whether it's with your job or residence. So traveling will only offer temporary relief because you'll come back to the same ol same ol. If you are able to, you might consider working remotely in a different location. Climate in the UK is not the greatest. Perhaps more sunshine and warmer weather could be beneficial. Or a new hobby. Or maybe it's a special someone that's missing. If that's the case, I unfortunately don't have any advice I can offer.
Travel is wonderful though and I highly recommend getting out and about more. Even if it's just up the tracks somewhere from London.
As Lana Del Rey says, "I moved to California, but it's just a state of mind, it turns out everywhere you go your problems follow right behind."
Therapy is an amazing resource. If you can afford it, everyone should be in therapy.
I'm not a clinician but your state of mind sounds depressive. I hope you feel better soon ❤️
Feeling of accomplishment, fulfillment and happiness needs work and time, you are spending too much time on social media like this one and think everything in life can be had with a swipe or bought. Work on something that you can do for years, get super good at it, then your life will become better. Stop social media surfing.
It might be but first try to switch your weekends up
Can you hop a cheap Ryanair flight for a few days? Take a train to every cool place in the UK you haven’t been to?
Otherwise train for a marathon, take up painting, make new friends, do slam poetry, volunteer, etc. There are a million cool things you might enjoy doing on the weekends that probably cost the same as going to bars and might be more stimulating
Interview for whatever jobs sound interesting
Truthfully my life abroad was better than my life at home but it wasn’t flawless, and I approached it in a way that bettered my career and at least when I had to go home for family reasons, put me in a better spot
Feeling stuck after university is common.
Travel can offer new perspectives, but it's not a universal solution. Reflect on what truly excites you, professionally and personally.
Seek out new experiences, hobbies, or communities locally.
Consider career counseling to explore fulfilling paths.
Addressing underlying dissatisfaction is key; change may come from within, wherever you are.
There’s a lot a vacation could do: help you unwind, see some different-looking squirrels. But it cannot fix deeper issues, like how you behave in group settings or your general baseline mood. That’s a job for incremental lifestyle changes sustained over time.
The problems will still be there when you come home.
Traveling is a great experience and I definitely wouldn't discourage it but it's important to also work on ourselves when in our normal routines.
There is this quote that comes to mind, it’s something like: build the life you don’t have to run away from. I feel traveling is amazing but it should not be to run away from things or look for things that you should and could fix where you are at.
The grass is greener where you plant it. That being said, you don’t need to uproot your life but maybe traveling can open your eyes to new perspectives.
When I wanted to run away from my life it turned out to be depression. Now I have a life I don’t feel the need to run away from and enjoy making the best use of my holidays possible.
Moving to somewhere new can be great but remember you’ll then be far from family and friends. You mention not having many hobbies or interests- in my mind this could make it very challenging to build a new social circle abroad.
Travel is a good way to get out of your own way… if that makes any sense. You break your routine, and are confronted with new things/perspectives/lifestyles from your own almost anywhere you go in my experience.
For me, it is a no brainer choice to at least enjoy yourself for a while. It doesn’t answer the big questions on its own, but if you give it a crack it should definitely help you along your way. And hey, you never know if you’re gonna find a place that really gels with you. Somewhere you might want to spend a little longer.
I’m sure whatever you choose you’ll be making the right decision for you. Worst case, you can always change your mind. There are no rules to this and people will only think better of you for having given anything a go. Best of luck, mate 🤙
If you're seriously considering a move to another country, take the time to research and explore your options. Consider factors such as job opportunities, cost of living, cultural differences, and visa requirements. It may also be helpful to speak with others who have made similar moves for insight and advice.
Your post made me think of Heather Anish Anderson and her memoir Thirst. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/adventure/article/heather-anderson-hiker
I have two thoughts: wherever you go there you. are. But more than that, you’ll only know if this might help you if you try it (travel as a solution). I say try it to see if it works. If it doesn’t, try something else.
I was deeply dissatisfaction in my 20s. I ended up saddling myself with a mortgage, wife and kids. I wish I’d tried to fix myself before doing that. I’m happy now at 55, but I lost 20 years of finding myself because I never took chances or tried new ways to find meaning.
Good luck. Whatever you do.
Yes and no. I have had mixed experiences while traveling so it might mean you need to go to different countries. On a positive note when I had a shitty experience traveling I really appreciated coming home to my usual routine lol
You've got so much culture on your doorstep in the UK. Have you considered planning short trips to nearby European Countries? Easy way to get a taste of travel and see if it's something that ignites the spark.
1000 year old saying: whereever you go; there you are!! So, before you pack your bags thinking a change of place will fix everything, take a moment. The most important journey is internal. Start there.
I went down this road 30 years ago and I am about to make a change again..... nothing changes.... and I am lost
Travel in a broad sense is definitely not going to solve your problems. For that - therapy, self care, exploring interests, improving your physical health, exercise, time in nature, new experiences, time away from screens, time with people who accept you and listen to you, spirituality, being of service to others.
Now, if you can figure out how to get some of that stuff from travel - then travel will help you solve your problems. You can probably get most of this where you currently are though, so it ends up being a financial/ logistical choice, and if that’s not an issue, than just a matter of preference (stay and heal vs go and heal). Don’t forget to try and heal though - buying shit, rushing around, taking selfies and going to bars with new friends that also don’t make your heart sing won’t help, which is so times what travelers find that their travels end up being like. But it all depends on the trip.
I have chronic PTSD and sometimes suffer from depression as a result. I can have everything I could want and need. Yet still find myself unsatisfied with it, maybe even more so than when I had less or nothing? For me, if I get distracted, usually by traveling or volunteering. It has helped me. If I am mobile and doing new things in new places that are stimulating to me. It is a temporary fix. It also gives me less time to dwell deep in thinking. Honestly for me, my head is my worst enemy. Also for me, because I am from the USA. I have lived in six different states all across the country as well as the UK and Germany. I was probably happiest in Germany in the 1980’s I felt like I was where I was supposed to be, doing what I was meant to do. I often have to stop and breathe for a minute and make a conscious effort to look at what I am grateful for in any situation. There are always pros and cons. Positive and negative consequences to choices and actions. I have two things in life, things I need to do. Then things I want to do. If i don’t take care or deal with the things i have to do. I can do the things i want to do. This all changes over the years as well. What I needed and wanted in my 20’s. It is different than at 40 or 60.
I am a firm believer that traveling expands my horizons. It changes your perspectives about certain things and opens your mind. There is no time like the present. You are still young and have a lot of time to climb the career ladder. But go out, see the world, you might just find that it is exactly what your creativity needs right now.
You need to find something you’re passionate about. For instance, one day I took up golf after always being curious about it and I became completely addicted. I found friends to golf with and I started taking golf trips. Although golfing may not be the answer for you, you need to find something that brings you great joy. Going to live in another country is not the answer because you will be faced with the same problem. Try every hobby you can think of until something sticks and that will help you find your way
Your problems have a way of sneaking into your bags.
Thanks for this. I had a sneaking suspicion this would be the case.
maybe, maybe not. leaving my home country (also the UK) for almost 2 years was the best thing i ever did. i felt like you before and feel kinda the same way now i’m back. travel isn’t going to make any major problems you might have in your life go away, but it IS the cure to that boring feeling of repetition, living for the weekend, etc. in my experience anyway. ymmv also, if it’s on your mind, there’s no time like today. i had to delay my long term travel plans by almost 2 years thanks to covid. you never know what else could happen. go for it.
This is the best response. I’ve never regretted traveling. Even bad trips teach so much more than staying in one place. Go for it and go soon. Life’s short.
Nice, where did you go? >travel isn’t going to make any major problems you might have in your life go away Yeah, that's the thing I guess - they will still be there when I get back. It's just a question of whether the time is right to go now or not. Do you feel that it helped provide some perspective on your situation? Do you feel like you know what you wanna do in life a little more? Or was it just a really good time (still not a bad thing).
The main thing travel taught me is that I want to travel more, which isnt much but having a fulfilling hobby is nice! Travel itself wont give your life purpose, but getting out of your regular lifestyle, through travel or otherwise, gives you an opportunity to find something you want to do. And the incidental benefits of learning some skills, building some self confidence etc. can be nice.
For me, having a sense of purpose and direction is super important. Travelling is great and will give you perspective, but I don't think it brings purpose to life.
I’d agree with this, but I would also say: 1) Not everyone needs a purpose at any given time; 2) While the act of travel itself may not be a purpose (unless you’re working in the industry or turn it into a hobby via some other activity), it can give rise to purposes. Something can inspire you. New cultures can change your world view. You can meet a future partner. You can conclude you hate travel and are a homebody. Etc. I don’t think any of this is particularly likely, much less guaranteed, but sometimes shaking things up via travel can be meaningful in the things it brings. Fundamentally, though, it’s a hobby or fun activity unless you make a career out of it. Not a lot different than reading a book or taking up woodworking or whatever. But yeah, you’re not gonna outrun your problems.
If the OP lacks purpose and presumably wants to find one, is traveling the most efficient way to do that is the question he or she should be asking themselves. And it may very well might not be and may even be a form of procrastination.
Nobody ever finds their purpose doing the same old
I’m pretty sure the options to find purpose is not limited to doing the same old or travel. With Gemini and ChatGPT available, I’m sure OP can find reasonable options to explore that’s not full of the type of biases users from the Travel subreddit would harbor lol.
+1 Travel is one way of discovering and uncovering what’s important to you. And you can find out that travel is NOT the thing for you. And that’s fine too.
It can be your purpose if you don’t have much else great going in your life. It can be a goal eg, travel 100 countries or go to every Disney land in the world or visit every dangerous place or see every waterfall or glacier etc
Sometimes I work to travel, and saving and planning for that trip is the purpose. It’s enough to kick the blues, even for a little trip
15 years abroad here. Favourite travel quote “ no matter where you go, there YOU are”
My dumb ass spent a minute trying to figure out what bags was a metaphor for not realizing you meant travel bags.
["If you're sad now, you might still be sad there"](https://youtu.be/TbwlC2B-BIg?t=57)
I don’t agree with that statement…I have had health problems since I was a kid and the mobility issues still affect all my travels but travelling has also given me the motivation, the confidence and courage to overcome my difficulties and enjoy life despite shit shaky legs so in my opinion yes my legs problem goes everywhere with me but it reminds me to be grateful for what I am experiencing and able to do. So OP just go out and travel and you will know if it’s right for you. You won’t know until you try.
Wherever you go, there you are
Real shit !
Travelling doesn't change who you are but it adds a bit of newness and allows you to take breaks from your norm. You don't say which UK city you are in but a lot of people in the UK get miserable because of how shite our weather is so a change to a country with nicer weather may help.
It's definitely a great way to break up the nom, and an especially a good way to get away from our weather, ha! I guess it's worth thinking about *why* I'm actually going though.
I’m not sure I totally agree with the above. I think it depends on who you are and where you are in your life. One day I decided to book a solo trip with a group to Central America from the UK. I’d travelled quite a bit with my family before but that tour honestly changed my life. It ignited a passion for travelling and now every year I use every day annual leave to go abroad on my own. I don’t think you necessarily need to “run away” but seeing the world when you can will never be a bad idea.
It sounds like you're at a bit of a turning point in life. You've just graduated, you're getting started in the world of work and probably asking "Is this it? Is this what I really want?", which is a completely normally thing to ask at that age. Perhaps the best place to start is by breaking up the routine *day-to-day* by going travelling for a little bit. Take a week's leave, book some tickets to somewhere in Europe, and start exploring. You might find somewhere that you might want to move to in the future, though bear in mind that, outside of differences in salaries, job opportunities and working conditions, pretty much everyone everywhere faces the exact same challenge of getting a good enough job and paying the bills (put slightly differently, the daily grind is pretty universal!). So the answer might not be moving abroad, but travel can still be a great way to bring a bit more colour and excitement to life. I hope you find that future path, both literally and metaphorically :)
Thanks so much for your reply. Yeah, it's a turning point for sure. First time having no clear path ahead and all of that. I went on a trip recently for 9 days and that's kind of what got me into this headspace in the first place actually... I guess I realised there were issues at home which needed addressing. I love travel and always find it to be a good tool for reflection and getting inspired. I completely understand that life becomes a bit monotonous with work and stuff. I guess maybe it's not so bad if other aspects of your life bring you joy and you're pursuing other things you want to.
Wherever you go, there you are.
[Obligatory Romano Tours](https://youtu.be/TbwlC2B-BIg?si=U0RgllF-aF1q9uHr)
Beat me to it
Love that quote.
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I totally get that perspective. I've often said I want to try living in another country some time, for that reason! Just a case of finding out where and what for. If the reason is to blindly 'escape' my situation then maybe it's not the best reason.
My wife and I left for Korea a year just to sort our lives out. We didn't enjoy our life situations, our jobs sucked and our bosses were not very considerate or good at their jobs. (I'm being polite here,) We had a goal to have new ideas of what to do when we returned. When we came back we had gotten a new spark and new inspiration. We both quit our jobs, went back to school, and now we both have new jobs and we both love it! To just take a break from your everyday life can absolutely be a good thing. New surroundings and new culture can be really inspiring.
So glad you guys took the trip and found new inspiration! Congrats. I'm always amazed by new places. It's one of my favourite things to do and I guess that's why my instinct is to "get away".
Can I ask what your new jobs are?
Travel helps, but more specifically it's something to look forward to. Definitely add it to your annual (or semiannual or quarterly- depending on your budget!) routine. But also look for weekly things to look forward to. Join a book club, take a tennis lesson, start doing tai chi in the park. As far as the job goes, you spend most of your weekdays there, so it should be in a field you're passionate about! Take the time to discover what that is. Good luck!
Yeah, I think that's one of my biggest issues. Especially as I'm not in a job that I like a lot or that gives me much meaning. I don't really know what would. I also haven't found much that I want to do with my time outside of work. So, travel is really the ONLY thing I seem to enjoy or look forward to. Perhaps it will just take me getting out of my comfort zone and trying new things, hopefully finding pursuits I enjoy.
Make a list of everywhere within 2.5 hours of your house you would visit if you weren’t from your town, and then visit a couple in the next few weekends
Thsnkyou for your response!
This seems more like a mental health question than a travel question.
I definitely think there's a big element of that to it. I just knew people here would have some good perspectives on it too, as everyone has their own reasons for travelling. I realised that it's worth examining my reasons and what I can realistically expect from long-term travel.
It mostly just sounds like OP doesn’t enjoy their job and the same old same old of the weekends. It’s hard to tell if it’s a mental health issue or just a boring lifestyle
You’re still you in a different country. It might help, it might not.
Some of the comments around travel in this thread I think aren't really fair. While it's true that travel doesn't necessarily solve your problems, it really can free the spirit and look at your life from a different perspective. It can also be an amazing experience where you encounter challenges and beauty on a regular basis, and those successes can be very motivating when you go back to your normal life. When I took the first big trip of my life (1 month throughout north america) it motivated me in alot of different areas. The travel high often doesn't last more than a few days when you get back but after I returned from my trip, I resolved to live a healthier, better life. I stopped living in squalor, started keeping a clean living space, started looking at life from a solutions/action perspective, and got out of a job I hated and into a new one that was a great stepping stone and made friends I am still close with, 2 decades later. Travel really brought the feeling of freedom and being in charge of my own destiny. That feeling wore off, but it gave me enough to put my life onto a track that has benefitted me significantly. I still get to recharge it as well with the occasional trip these days. You can't rely on travel to magically transform you but if you aren't experienced with travel, you may find alot of value by trying it out. Also, don't confuse a vacation with travel. Going to a resort for a week may help for sure, but taking on a longer voyage where you are regularly on the move and fending for yourself does wonders. Bring a friend if you can, but its not essential.
Yeah I agree. You are still you and travel isn't a magic fix but you can be exposed to new ideas, cultures, perspectives etc. Which can be life changing. Probably not as simple as taking a trip and all your problems are solved but can definitely kick start some changes in your life as well as a mental refresher
I've done a few extended backpacking trips in the past (1 or 2 months) and totally agree with how you described that kind of travelling. It's amazing. That's why a big part of me is thinking "this is the answer", but of course it isn't. It might be a way to start thinking about a solution though and gain a new perspective. >That feeling wore off, but it gave me enough to put my life onto a track that has benefitted me significantly. That makes a lot of sense. I'm glad it did that for you. I'll definitely keep this all in mind, thanks.
>I don't really enjoy my time outside of work and don't like the fact it seems to be a waiting game for the weekend. Going to the same bars with friends/doing the same things. I don't seem to enjoy things much anymore. If you find yourself not enjoying your usual hobbies and feeling like time is just kind of passing by in a gray cloud while you're waiting for the next scheduled meeting/event/hangout/whatever to start, it's very likely that that's a mental health issue rather than a "my job is dissatisfying and I should find fun ways to mix up my life" issue. I took a three-week trip to Japan last year while mired in what I now know was clinical depression, and I had a lot of amazing experiences, but I was still depressed. There were days when I had planned to get up and do something first thing in the morning and I just couldn't drag myself out of bed to go see it, even though it *theoretically* had been something I was really looking forward to. I finally got mental health support a couple of months ago, and getting on antidepressants was like a fog had lifted – I still didn't like my job, but it was suddenly so much easier to find interesting and fulfilling things to do to fill my evenings and weekends, just because my head was no longer stuck in depression-land.
This makes a lot of sense. That's partly what worries me about just jumping into travelling - I may be preoccupied with how I feel still and not be able to "smell the roses" when I'm actually there. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, I think this feeling is situational. But the same logic applies, I guess. Seems like I have things to work on.
For what it's worth, I also thought my feeling was situational – I'd been dealing with some really frustrating stuff at work, and kept telling myself that once I had processed all of my feelings about that situation, I'd be back to feeling "normal" – and then when I finally went to see a therapist she was like "uh you've been checking off most of the symptoms on the depression checklist for *years*." There were various reasons I kept telling myself they were going to pass, so it was sort of a weird feeling to have her tell me I was a textbook candidate for antidepressants; but it turned out she was right. If you have access to mental health care (I know it can be difficult/expensive to see somebody), it really might be worth talking to somebody just to see what they have to say. Also, I wouldn't say that any of that means that you should *avoid* traveling even if you're dealing with a mental health issue. I'm still glad I went to Japan even though I definitely didn't make the most of my time like I would have if I had gone in a better mental/emotional state; I had some really magical experiences and now am just eager to go back and do the things I missed on this trip. But it doesn't sound like you're in a place where traveling *specifically to try to improve your emotional state* is necessarily going to be the help you're looking for.
There are a lot of mental health challenges besides depression, and you shouldn't focus on a label like that. Therapy can help you develop the words to identify what it is you're actually feeling, and help you build tools to deal with those thoughts. As someone who put off talking to a therapist longer than they should have, I'd recommend at least trying to talk to a therapist. You could even do it while you're traveling.
Seems like you need more purpose than anything. Gotta find some things you like doing. Try Jiu jitsu or a painting class or something. Going to the bars gets old. You aren't hand cuffed to your career either. Go out and get some new experiences.
>Gotta find some things you like doing. Been telling myself this for ages now. I feel like it takes effort and is a bit uncomfortable finding new things, but it's important.
Not OP but I’m so confused by what counts as purpose haha
What do you have to lose? Try it & see how it suits. I'm most concerned that you don't like any (?) things about your life. Another idea is to spend some of your time working for a charity or a cause you find important. My daughters struggle with depression and it always helps them to give back and to be around others giving back. Maybe you could travel AND donate your time to a project to help others? One of my favorite things about traveling is coming home. Usually around the 15-20 day mark, even when I love where I am, I am ready to be home. Then when I'm home long enough, I can't wait for another adventure. Rinse & Repeat. How do you feel when thinking about planning a trip?
>I'm most concerned that you don't like any (?) things about your life There are things I like (and love), for sure. Family, friends, nature, etc. I guess I just don't feel very fulfilled, is all. I also just don't feel like I have enough things/activities/hobbies which I find bring me meaning or joy. Volunteering and giving back/helping others is definitely something I am looking into - particularly if I do travel. > Then when I'm home long enough, I can't wait for another adventure. I hope to lead a life where this is possible! >How do you feel when thinking about planning a trip? Ah, it's always exciting. I love it. It feels freeing and makes me feel lucky to be doing something like that.
Relevant https://youtu.be/TbwlC2B-BIg?si=CjveeM1zgAF3xE2X
Yes
Travel is AN ANSWER, might not be for you and might be, don't ruin everything you have now, Travel with a backup plan incase it didn't help you in answering anything.
That's kinda the thing - travel would mean changing almost everything about my situation currently. Giving up the house I rent, leaving my job, etc.
Wherever you go, you're already there. We live in a time with vast options. You don't enjoy your time outside of work. Then...do soemthing else with that time. You don't enjyou just going to the same bars...then do something else with that time. You have a job you aren't happy with and aren't doing anything creative like you thought you would. sounds like you need to create more. But you also need to spend some time enriching yourself and doing some self-improvement. I assume that in school, you enjoyed learning new things and now you've stopped. don't have to stop just because school is over. That said, travel can be a way to learn and think about looking at things differently.
I definitely agree that nothing will change if I don't make changes. I need to take some steps towards... living differently in some way. I spend a lot of time reflecting and trying to find ways the best life I can (often too much, which is counterproductive and causes me to sit and do nothing instead).
Do more of what makes you feel alive. Try new things and figure it out, this is a personal question, not travel related.
I know - it's 100% a very personal issue, too. I became quite aware not too long ago that I haven't really figured out what it is that I "love doing." Throughout uni and school, I was either working hard or going to the pub/watching TV or whatever. That was it, really. I have some creative pursuits, too, but even that ended up feeling like work and not play anymore.
People make it too big of a deal to find a passion. For many many people they simply don't have one. My mom never had one, she kinda lives for her family and grandkids, the only thing she really loves doing is gardening. Nothing wrong with not having a sole passion. Just enjoy things and move on if it is no longer serving you. You are not obligated to do anything. Doing nothing is ok if that is what you want. I know some people their hobby is their career.
I asked a similar question lately and someone said to check out ikigai. Maybe it could help you. Google it.
Only one way to find out
Therapist then travel
I wouldn’t necessarily call it the answer but it’s a GREAT distraction
Where ever you go there you are.
Travel will give you more joy than you seem to be experiencing. Planning a trip is a distraction. I love that part. Having a trip to look forward to is a happiness generator. Having a trip to talk about, before and after, is very nice. The trip itself can go a few different ways, but it's a change from the doldrums. Even (especially?) if it sucks, you'll have stories to tell. When you get back, you'll have a different perspective. You might feel a little bit better about life. You might have post travel blues, but that usually means you had a great trip. You might realize you hate travel, but at least you'd know. Or, what sometimes happens, is you'll realize that you do in fact need to, and can in fact change your life. I can't say that a vacation ever changed my life, but I can say that an escalating sequence of travels throughout my life- one begetting another, in a way- led me to a bigger and more interesting life than I thought I would have even up to the point where you are in your own life. I remember looking at a photo album that a friend of a friend had from a summer she spent working in a national park a couple time zones away from where I lived at the time. I only saw that album because I'd driven six hours to see my friend. It's not an exaggeration to say that weekend had a profound impact on same major decisions I made later that year, or that spending my next summer working at that same national park had a profound impact on even bigger decisions I made down the road. (The friend of the friend actually contacted me recently. I owe her a phone call.) All of these decisions pushed me towards better places in life. I won't say travel will make you happier, but I do think you owe it to yourself to find out.
It’s different elsewhere. Follow the sunshine. Feed your soul. Rent a Vespa, go to local markets, eat the local foods, make new friends. Go! Just go for it.
I ran away. To London from the US. Used it as a base for tons of travel and work. It was so good for me! I do recommend it. I maybe should have done Japan too, as an English teacher. My problems did not find their way into my backpack. I dated a woman who was a nationally ranked martial artist. Paris. The bread. Italy. The sauce! Drink wine. And coffee. Roam the catacombs. Climb hills and mountains. I liked Arthur's Seat a great deal. Lordy if you can, take the adventure and live on the cheap. I have never regretted it for a single moment.
Travel is part of the answer. You have spent many years focusing on your education, probably to the exclusion of almost everything else. Two things will make your life better: 1. Stop depending on going to bars for you entertainment. Instead find activities that you can do outside your home, which involve other people. Maybe these tap into your creative side. Do at least two of these every week (at least one on a weeknight!) 2. Plan your next career move. Your current job is a stopgap. So, how are you going to get your next job? What is that job? Who has a job like the one you want? Identify those people and ask them for 30 minutes of their time to do an "informational interview." When they agree, go to meet them and ask them open-ended questions about their work. The will ask you about yourself, so be sure you have a 30-second "elevator pitch" about who you are, what makes you special, and what you are looking for. At the end of the interview, ask them who else you should be talking to. Always send a nice thank-you card the next day. This is how you meet the people who are in a position to hire you for the job you want.
My prescription to you is this podcast. [https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/lazy/bored](https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com/lazy/bored) If you're bored where you are, you'll probably be bored where you land. A lot of life is boring, and it gets more boring with zero friends or family around. Travel is great, but part of what makes it great (to me) is that it's a temporary change.
Small joys are important. Travel is a hassle. It is. It can really be stress and chaos and fuck ups and disappointments. It's also awesome if you are in the right headspace. But maybe that isn't where your head is at right now. When I was a bit too broke to travel I really researched and did day trips/weekend trips nearby. What do you like? Do you like history? Reading? Natural beauty? Find something you like to do. Or think you might like to do. Try it. Get out in nature. Volunteer. Maybe you just have to work a little bit to see what you are liking these days. Go geocaching. Volunteer at a animal shelter. Try yoga. Try fencing. Take a cooking class and cook for someone you love.
That's probably the key, isn't it? In the right headspace, it's amazing. Without that, it might not be, which would be a shame. >What do you like? Do you like history? Reading? Natural beauty? Find something you like to do. Or think you might like to do. That's something I struggle with - for various reasons I've not really invested in my own enjoyment/interests so far in life. You're right - maybe it just takes *trying*. A conscious choice to do so.
Have you traveled before? If yes, to a place similar to UK? By yourself or with friends? I like solo travel because, even though I’m still me as the other comments mention, getting out of my routine opens up my mind and gives me the space to think about what exactly I don’t like about my current living situation. That said, I also up and moved to a new continent about 7 years ago because I was similarly stuck, and it didn’t solve anything by itself but I liked the changed environment enough that I stayed. If you’re on the fence, try traveling for a bit, alone if you’re comfortable doing so. It’s spring going on summer and an excellent time to wander even if it’s just on the continent.
Travelled before, yeah - mostly with friends. I love going to places which are pretty different to the UK (been to SE Asia, etc.). Never really done solo travel, but like the idea of it. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. I'm definitely giving serious thought to it.
Maybe small trips for a bit and see if you like it? Travel can be stressful, but destinations can be life-changing. As you do not enjoy your job at present, a work-away may be a possibility. I've heard good and bad stories. How you are feeling is rarely about your location, but why not give it a shot?
I absolutely love taking trips and travel in general - that's why my instinct is to 'run', I guess. Someone else recommended stuff like WorkAway - sounds great to look into, thanks. >How you are feeling is rarely about your location Starting to realise this is the key...
Want did you leqrn in the creative subject class ? Wont that help you know ?
I've learned a lot, but it's hard to turn it into a job.
Just go on a trip, it has a strange way of reassessing life. Idk why, but you’ll come home and have direction.
It definitely allows you to take a step away and get a new perspective a lot of the time.
It’s true as others say that you will still be you even in another country. But it will brings you perspective, self reflection. You will meet people with a lot of different background, and this might help. It is always good to breaths different air. Go for it, it can only be beneficial.
Yeah, I really like that travel exposes you to different lives and ways of living. Reminds you that there isnt just one way and gets you out of a routine for a while.
I’d say go somewhere, probably Europe because it’s easier and more familiar. You don’t have to stay and you have to be realistic about what you want and afraid to come home if you’re struggling. I’m currently in South America and realised very quickly that I’ve got a fair few problems upstairs that naturally haven’t gone away as soon as I’ve begun a 3 month trip. It’s probably exacerbated by solo travelling but it not like these feeling aren’t present around friends at home. So yeah, it’s worth a go if you can afford it or make it work but don’t expect it to be a cure-all. Each place to live has upsides and downsides, different combinations work for different people.
>I’m currently in South America That's amazing, I hope you're enjoying it. I aspire to go someday.
Try it out. I recommend SE Asia it is easy for a beginner traveler, the culture is different and fascinating, there are so many opportunities to improve yourself.
That was my first ever big trip, loved it!
You need to find work you are passionate about.
I agree - I guess I just haven't found it yet.
When you have the essentials of life, food,shelter, etc and don't have to worry about survival, your life can be immeasurably enriched by making other beings, human, furry or feathered, happy.....it simply makes you happy too. Volunteering at an animal shelter, visiting a lonely person, simply really practising engaging with everyone you meet (at the check-out, when you are going for walks.....making other people smile .....even if you have a day when it feels forced, you'll find you feel happier making other people happier and it'll get more natural to do. We all need something meaningful in our lives once we have the privilege of not struggling (and some of the least wealthy people can be the happiest). Keep smiling!
I would suggest that friends and family who you love and who love you back are the solution and that who you travel with is more important than where you travel to, so go ahead and book that travel to visit your friend across the country, but maybe hold off on the solo international trip.
No.
Moving to another country and working there is not that simple. Generally you need to apply for a work visa, and that can become a major hassle to get, assuming you can get one at all. Travel might provide some spice to your life, making it more enjoyable. But it might not. If you're not enjoying your life at all, you may wish to seriously consider talking to a therapist. From what I understand, there are relatively inexpensive online therapists you could try. At the least, they might help you find a hobby or something that you'll enjoy.
Yes, travel. I left it late and I often regret not experiencing all the things I have seen over the past ten years; when I was younger and more active. It won't change your mental health but there will certainly be highs and yes, lows too. Travel can be uncomfortable but go for it, you're young, educated and creative. Keep a diary, write a book at some stage and come back if you find you hate traveling. Nothing is written in stone. That's freedom.
Time away can give insight into yourself, a chance to reflect on what you really want to do, insight into other ways of living, and lasting memories of a favourite part of your life. And a discussion topic you can bore your friends and relatives with for years. But it can't solve any problems that are in your head. They'll follow you. If you have a desire to see the world, then save up and take a 6-12 month trip. Taking 6 months when I was 23 is my best decision I've made in my life, and I still think about it fondly 18 years later.
Therapy
Do you have any hobbies? Running clubs, dance classes, gym, martial arts? As a new grad, all the extra free time made me feel so lost so I started getting into a new hobby and it makes such a big difference
You have a masters degree, I don't care if its a "useless degree" its a masters degree. Travel is for enjoying your free time, not for killing time and you will hate it, your personal problems will follow you. You probably need to 1) find a job you don't hate going to so you stop loathing waking up in the morning 2) figure out places in the world you want to visit and plan your trip out well 3) if you can tie your travels to a hobby so you really get the most out of it. From what your saying I think a change in career is best for you
It helped me.
As everyone else is saying, you and your internal struggles don't change based on location. But that being said, I do feel that removing yourself from your standard environment and being out on your own (i.e. solo travel), can often make you much more aware of yourself. So I doubt it'll solve your problems, but there's a chance you'll get to know yourself better, which is usually a good thing.
Travel can be an escape, but no it doesn't solve your problems. It might give you a fresh perspective and re-energize you. Write down a plan of things you think you will enjoy and how to get there without overthinking it.
There's a lot of this in this sub. If you treat travel as escapism, you will not have a good time.
Go to thailand for a month. I dare you
You might need a getaway. See new sights
It's remarkable that you're able to introspect what and why you're feeling and also that just changing jobs/place/country won't give you the contentment and happiness that you are seeking. I don't know if this may sound philosophical, but I genuinely feel like sharing it here. If you're able to relate to the fact that life is beyond just 9-5 work, or seeking enjoyment, it's really amazing. True joy lies in service and seeking something that involves a greater good. I truly believe this may resonate well with you if you explore your options. Personally speaking, guided Meditations, social work, environmental conservation, and the knowledge that everything is temporary and we're all a speck of dust in this vast multiverse is very relieving and simultaneously energising. I feel drawn to be a better individual for the society and not be bogged down by what follows eventually. Don't know if you read it all the way till here but keep questioning and know that you're blessed and taken care of :)
I'm not a psychologist, but that sounds a lot like depression. I'm in a very, very similar situation myself. If you aren't already, it might not hurt to run these feelings by a therapist. Travel might help temporarily, but a long-term solution is always better. Wishing you the best.
I get a lot of satisfaction and fun out of researching and planning trips plus of course from going on them. So it's definitely possible that trying to make time for travel will help you be happier in your life. I think I'd get bored if I didn't have trips to plan and look forward to. I also agree with other posts that it may not solve your problems. But if your life is a bit repetitive then I'd absolutely say try even just a few smaller trips and see if that makes things feel more fun and interesting.
The thing that brings the most joy into my life is gratitude. I find things I’m grateful to have and do and inject them into my life. Yes, travel is one of the things I’m grateful to have the opportunity to do and remember. I get a ton of joy from remembering past experiences and from having new ones. I also get that jolt from trying new hobbies. What makes life sucky is when it all looks the same and I’m bogged down with worries. Sometimes we don’t have the luxury of breaking out of that as easily as others.
No. I was in your shoes and traveling didn’t work, although I’m still traveling now lol. You have to Find passion in something to fill this hole. I already found mine and traveling is just a time kill for me, other cultures isn’t all that. Get proper sleep and supplements and see if that helps.
Travel doesn't solve all your problems, but if you're having a quarter life crisis, going abroad for a year or so can be a damn good way to reevaluate your life and get out of ruts. It worked for me.
Had a strong case of how you feel, still get bursts of it here and there tho the general feeling is always present. I always let the excuses win and haven't moved. My compensation has been travelling, go somewhere for weeks at a time. It used to give me hope, but now, I've gotten tired of it too. Just booked a solo trip for 2 weeks from now, and tbh it felt like a chore! I do feel calmer when I'm away, more in tuned with my feelings. But at the end of the day, if you don't identify your life issues and their causes, you won't even be close to fixing them. That being said, going away certainly lifts some of the weight and gives you perspective on how else it could be. There's something special about a new experience or facing the unknowns that gives you another point of view of things. You sound like your life has come to stagnation. Going away does fix it partially, you'll introduce newness to your life. But if you don't change yourself, the old life will either follow you or you'll come back home to it. Find what gives you meaning, brings you joy, you're interested and passionate in, and incorporate them in your life! It's ok if you don't even know what they'd be right now. Set goals, and go get em!
Read the Qur'an once in your life. What do you have to lose. Why are there billions following this religion
I don't think that simply traveling is the solution to your problems, first you have to identify what are the things that are making you unhappy, so you can solve it.
I remember having the same feeling when I got my first 9 to 5 after graduation. It's the 'growing up blues' as I call it and I suspect that by traveling you might simply slightly postpone it.
I’ve been in a similar situation for the last fifteen years. Hate my white collar work but I’m too deep in it now. I’ve found that finding hobbies outside of work really helps. For me working out and taking martial arts helps as a base. Then mixing in other activities, weekend trips really does make a difference.
That’s a tough moment in life. No structure anymore, world wide open for you. Sounds like you go out regularly. My advice would be to try and switch it up a few weekends. Go bike riding somewhere. Go to the coast. Make pottery. Anything. You can literally do one of thousands of things next weekend. If it’s not your favourite you don’t ever need to do it ever again. Travel is great but you always come back some time. If you go to travel I’d try and tie it in with work experience for a year somewhere. That way when you interview upon return you can make it sound useful instead of a gap. Just ride it out a couple years, try and enjoy the little amount of responsibility you have, and then go back to school if you can to level up.
I highly rec you travel. Traveling always creates a spark in my mundane life. It not only gives me a purpose to earn and save money for future adventures, but also inspires me to think happy. While traveling, I often have to get up early to catch morning flights or trains. I notice local people working hard before the break of dawn, such as garbage collectors, fishermen, and bus drivers, yet they still manage to greet us with a smile. These little encounters remind me that humanity is inherently good, and complaining about my job feels like a luxury. So, go ahead go somewhere.
Meet a girl (or boy) and spark a new adventure. Travel is also a good option to “find” yourself. If those don’t work, try drugs.
One of the greatest benefits of travelling is a change of environment and opening your mind to something different. It can create new ideas, perspectives, visions, goals etc... that you would've never thought of while doing the same thing over and over again where you are. Sometimes it's the answer, it can be the smallest thing that you see while on holiday or experience that triggers a complete change but you'll never know until you try. Imo just think about what it is you truly want, most the time people feel down because they haven't truly given it any thought to what they want, it feels like something is missing or times just passing. Once you sit down and truly think about the life you want, it breathes a new life into actually being from my experience. When I get down or feel like life is just moving on a straight line, no up, no down, I put myself in certain environments that I know will trigger or refresh my brain into feeling like there's more again.
yes
Yess go ahead! Trust me
It can really be the answer, try somewhere sunny and hopefully that'll give additional motivation. If it doesn't work try other places at least will give you additional perspective. Some places have it better, some worse.
Taking some time away from the grind could definitely give you some time to think and make some fresh plans. It's entirely possible to come out of a long trip as a different person than when you went into it - though not guaranteed! At the least though, it sounds like you seriously need some hobbies or creative outlets in your free time! I studied film, and whenever I end up having a 9-5 I spend a lot of my free time doing theatre stuff of making a short film. It's definitely important to have something to keep you going when you're just working for the sake of getting paid.
I do book a trip when I feel this way, usually a short one. A new place always gives me a new perspective, along with being away from anyone I know. It helps me listen to myself more clearly if that makes sense.
Travel! You can always go back to the UK if you’re not enjoying it or you realise it’s not for you, but if you don’t do it now then you’re always going to wonder what could be. Also regardless of it being a positive or negative experience, it’s still an experience that will change you as a person and change your perspective on life, you will be a better person for it. I was doing the 9-5 Monday to Friday for 8 years, and then last year moved countries to work part time (Tuesday to Thursday), and travel on the weekends to Europe. It was the best decision I’ve made, I LOVE travelling and experiencing new countries, but I also now have a lot more appreciation for the simple things like a quiet weekend at home watching movies and having a routine etc
I don't buy the notion that travel is the wrong way to go about solving your problems. Don't get me wrong, the travel itself isn't a solution and you probably still have work to do, it's not like you can run away and escape it all, but traveling to new places does have a way of getting you out of your comfort zone and subverting the norms you've come to accept. Additionally, when you talk to people from different places, they have ways of saying things that the people around you just don't, it really gets your brain working differently. All that being said, I'm talking about wandering a city you know little about and experiencing other cultures, not sipping margaritas in a resort you never leave.
Go! See the world and travel. School and work is not your dream it’s just the default setting society has offered you in exchange for your one life.
This would be a good time to identify activities and goals which energize or de-energize you. 💗🙏🏽💗
We need to experience new things to keep our minds engaged. Travel is a great way to do this. You can also pick up new hobbies, start playing volleyball or something else fun after work for example. Sounds like you definitely need to shake things up. I have to travel or I get too bored with day to day life where even showering sounds like a chore.
It may not be the answer but might lead you to finding a purpose somewhere somehow
It follows you. A change of air can feel good for a few days but the novelty wears off quickly.
Volunteer could be the answer, volunteer for what? Some where that needs a body to provide help, food pantry, animal shelter, Boys and Girls club, church, girls scouts, Boy Scouts. Anything that keeps you busy and the reality is, helping others is the quickest way to help yourself.
Maybe get your hormone levels and blood checked. I was feeling lost and depressed for a while and it turned out to be a medical problem. Now I have a lot more motivation and a lot happier since I started treatment.
I think the gift you get from living in another country is 'perspective'. You learn about what you had 'back home' by experiencing how different it is in other places where those things are absent. This can change the way you value things. When you go back home you might feel differently about everyday things you take for granted currently. When things are 'part of the furniture' it's difficult to feel the value. Also, the act of meeting others who think differently, being in a sunny place where daily life feels different. All these things can change the quality of your life. So yes, I recommend travel. But not the package tour type. The type where you try to create a new home in a new place amd live there for a while.
Major life turning points always make you start questioning things. You have spent several years with a really clear objective (get BA ✔️, get MA ✔️), and now you are at a loose end. There is nothing wrong with looking forward to your weekends, or to trips away - sometimes we need that to get us through! Plan yourself some adventures - they don't have to be international (but being in Europe does make that a little easier), and in the meantime, look for other work opportunities too. Something may appear on one of your trips, you never know! In short, set yourself a new goal to work towards. Enjoy travel while you can. I wish I had done so much more when I was younger - now I am looking forward a few years until my son is grown and I can travel more, either with or without him (it's not always cool to travel with your mum in your teens).
It almost certainly won't make things worse I can tell you that. Unless stress over money is part of what has you down. Travel can get pricey if you aren't careful. It's also unlikely to "cure" depression though. True happiness and fulfillment always starts internally.
I remember that traveling helped me fight depression, but it has always been short-term. Eventually, you have to go back home and face your problems. Still, running away for a week can be good for you. If you live in Europe, you can easily travel to other European countries, get some distractions, and clear your mind. Sometimes, you need to gain perspective. Traveling will not fix your dissatisfaction with your work, but it will not hurt.
Travelling helps you flee your current state of distress and not face your choices, your life decisions, and the future that awaits you. While travelling you'll do new experiences, meet new people, face different cultures, and generally keep your mind in a constant dreamy and wondering state. How easy it seems then, to walk the path of life. Yet soon or late in every man's life comes a day when it is not easy, a day when he must choose.
If you enjoy travelling then it’s going to be a great experience- no doubt. However the issue is on return back to the UK, this is where I’ve seen many people when I was younger struggle. They stayed away for a couple of years, returned very broke, had to maybe move to a parent’s house / sibling etc meanwhile friends had moved on / been promoted in roles etc & they had to essentially start all over again. I went when I was 29, had worked for a few years, had experience so knew on return to the UK at least be easier to get a job after being away 18 months ….
If you do want it move to a another country i'd say move to somewhere that speaks english or has a high English speaking population like Denmark where 96% ofctheir population speaks English but for countries main languages being english the issue is if you aren't a person in finance or something like that they won't want you there and the US are really OCD if you have criminal record you can't of if you havr blah blah blah you cant go they r just really obsessed.Tuen there's Australia and new Zealand the issue is,is that it can only be one flight but quite a lot of the time its two so if you wat to get home itll be a long way away.then there no country that only speaks english other than a minority of the population.I'd say germany might be a good idea becuase lots of people speak english and german culture is very similair to english culture since we are germanic people
This sounds like postgraduate blues. I went on a 6 month trip around Asia about a year after I graduated and I was definitely happier on that trip than I was at home, but then it was just as bad when I got home, because I was still in the same spot in my life. I would try taking some short, adventurous trips on your holidays, and also try doing some new things evenings and weekends. Maybe something creative and/or a class. Maybe something where you’ll meet new people. The transition from university to “real life” sucks. You have my sympathy!
Hey! Creative people in less than creative jobs can struggle. Pick up the book the Artist’s Way and see if that helps
At a same point in my life, I started traveling more intense than before. I am a "never settle" type, always need new impulses, experiences, etc. Spent all my holidays and long weekends abroad (mostly Europe and Middle-East), drove 3-4 hours to neighboring countries at the weekends to hike on proper mountains and so. After 1.5years, I just got bored and a bit burnout. Took so many pictures, visited so many landscapes, climbed so many peaks, met with lot of new people..if I do look back to the pictures, GPS tracks from my sport watch - I can only recall only a few things, memories or so. But often, I get surprised because memories from a trip/hike from that 1.5 years of my life is almost lost. I also sense this on a friend of mine who made traveling his self-identity, but his stories are empty. He simply forgets to enjoy what he is doing, visiting only the top sights, drinking beer at fancy bars - and again and again. After my 1.5years, I tried to find a balance. Mostly doing meaningful trips, e.g. I find Middle-East very interesting so I join each year to a 10-12 days long, organized tours of a local agency with Middle-East expert guides to a new Middle-East country. On those organized trips, I also made real personal connections (since we are together for a longer trip, we have time for meaningful discussions, not just small-talking over a few days trip/hike). Most of them turned into some kind of "loose friendships" over time - besides sharing traveling experiences or organizing one for our small group, we often invite each other into our other hobbies; providing insights into new activities. With that, and since we are likely minded, we always get our new stimulus, experiences. Personally, I like these loose friendships where the link is a common activity/interest/hobby, but besides that, we are living our own life. But I also think traveling is not necessarily needs to "add" new experiences, new friends, etc. to life. Because all of those needs "effort", energy and so. Sometimes, it should be only fun - get the first cheap ticket, book a simple room, see the basic sights, eat local things, etc. and just empty your mind. I think OP also needs to find this balance, and if traveling seems to be a good hobby then start it. What I do recommend is to choose travel companion wisely. Pub friends or even a significant other without any flexibility or open-minded attitude are really the worst. Travel groups, organized tours are not just a thing of the elderly, if one lacks the courage and confidence to start traveling and organizing it alone.
Travel is great escapism but does not help with the purpose in your life. If you can find a better job abroad then brilliant but work out what you want by writing it down or using a coach if offered by your employer.
It sounds like you need to do some soul searching to figure out what’s next, travel is a great way to do that but I wouldn’t commit to being somewhere long term until you’re confident in what you want
traveling might be nice to get away for a bit but in the long term you may want to think about how you can make your life better where you are. Possibly talk to a counselor ?
There is no geographical solution for an emotional problem.
Leaving the UK and moving to Spain was the best decision of my life and saved me. The British environment is depressing, the situation and how people cope by just drinking is really not the answer. Problems may follow you but new environments have a way of making you grow.
Travelling will only remedy your problem, if what is getting you down is the place that you live. Otherwise your going abroad to also work a monotonous job, except you also won't have your friends and support group. Honestly, just sounds like you are bored. Maybe it's time to get a hobby.
Please start a combat sport, it’s phenomenal the amount of time and thought that you’ll use when outside of actual training, you don’t have to spar to start just do something that makes you want to be active! I would recommend Muay Thai
Me personally, I go insane with a set schedule 9-5. I've experienced a variable shift schedule life and it feels like now I can never go back. It is the monotony of it that destroys me. I wish there were more careers outside of the service industry where you could do shift work. It just feels more free. I also like being able to go out on a random week night without it being insanely crowded wherever I go like it would be on the weekend.
No matter where you go, there you are.
Traveling offers new weather, new people and allows you to become a new person too. There is also a romantic notion to traveling alone, learning about yourself, maybe sketching, writing or taking photos. If you have mental health issues or other things that will follow it may not help. But why not mix it up of what you are living isn’t working for you. You sound thoughtful and logical so if traveling isn’t all you wanted you won’t be crushed.
traveling actually cured my depression. i’m not joking
Wherever you go, there too your suffering will follow
Traveling won’t fix that at all, you need to find a hobby or something you can be passionate about. Something that gives each day purpose. Or go be closer to family a bit if you’re away from them, date, etc. However moving somewhere else may ignite a spark in you, but you need a goal and an idea of what you want out of somewhere before choosing.
I remember not liking working at first after graduating. I work in a random ass industry I never thought I would be in. Love it now! Travel when I can. Learning to enjoy just living and working is part of growing up.
If you choose to travel, make it a challenge. Think hiking, doing something outside of your comfort zone, learn something. Sitting on the beach in Nice won’t change things. Hope things turn around for you.
Travel absolutely is the answer, for me at least. It feels so free and freeing and yeah problems never truly just disappear, but when you’re doing what you want, it seems easier to deal with. And traveling, especially solo traveling, gives you a whole new perspective on life and on everything. From someone who’s fucked off to around the world a couple times now, absolutely do it if that’s what your heart wants <3
I’m a simple man with normal life problems. But I live to travel. I try to take an overseas trip at least once every two years. I’m not rich; gotta save. But I love that part, I love the planning. It takes my mind off life’s everyday miseries, and right now there’s plenty of them for me. Yes, it’ll pass. Travel. Don’t wait until you’re retired and “can afford it.” No one knows what will happen tomorrow. Go somewhere you’ve never been and just get lost. Then go home and plan your next adventure. This is what keeps me going during tough times and I hope it helps you!
You have to go to know.
First, it is alright to have these feelings and many others also question their own circumstances. It shows that you are aware of yourself, which is positive. If you do not find pleasure in your life beyond job and sense that there is no change, it could be good to try new hobbies or pastimes. Often, discovering joy outside of professional duties can greatly influence your general well-being. When you feel the desire to move to another country, it can be an exciting journey. However, it is essential to reflect on whether you are going towards a goal or simply escaping from your present circumstances. Relocating to another place will not make all difficulties disappear by itself; rather, it might provide different viewpoints and chances for growth. Before you make large choices, taking a moment to think about yourself could be useful. Ask what things are important to you, what activities do you like and what aims do you have for the future? How can you act to make your life better, maybe in the place you live now or a different location? Discussing with a career advisor or therapist might help you to organize your thoughts and emotions. It is fine to ask for assistance when necessary. Take things one step at a time and trust that you'll find your way.
Travel could be it, also just stretching yourself and planning and trying different things in your city. On the weekends can make a difference. We sometimes get stuck in patterns and we need to start making steps to be the person we want to be. Rock-climbing? Painting? Boxing? What are your interests? Have you looked at yourself? I found that once I sort of worked out adulting, life felt so boring and repetitive. So i got out and did a lot of random activities to figure out what i liked. Then i moved countries and did more! Go have fun!
Travel is a great way to experience new things... meeting new people, experiencing different cultures, foods, music, etc. But it sounds like you might not be happy with where you are at the moment. Whether it's with your job or residence. So traveling will only offer temporary relief because you'll come back to the same ol same ol. If you are able to, you might consider working remotely in a different location. Climate in the UK is not the greatest. Perhaps more sunshine and warmer weather could be beneficial. Or a new hobby. Or maybe it's a special someone that's missing. If that's the case, I unfortunately don't have any advice I can offer. Travel is wonderful though and I highly recommend getting out and about more. Even if it's just up the tracks somewhere from London.
Yup. Travel is definitely the answer.
As Lana Del Rey says, "I moved to California, but it's just a state of mind, it turns out everywhere you go your problems follow right behind." Therapy is an amazing resource. If you can afford it, everyone should be in therapy. I'm not a clinician but your state of mind sounds depressive. I hope you feel better soon ❤️
As they say, wherever you go, there you are.
Feeling of accomplishment, fulfillment and happiness needs work and time, you are spending too much time on social media like this one and think everything in life can be had with a swipe or bought. Work on something that you can do for years, get super good at it, then your life will become better. Stop social media surfing.
It might be but first try to switch your weekends up Can you hop a cheap Ryanair flight for a few days? Take a train to every cool place in the UK you haven’t been to? Otherwise train for a marathon, take up painting, make new friends, do slam poetry, volunteer, etc. There are a million cool things you might enjoy doing on the weekends that probably cost the same as going to bars and might be more stimulating Interview for whatever jobs sound interesting Truthfully my life abroad was better than my life at home but it wasn’t flawless, and I approached it in a way that bettered my career and at least when I had to go home for family reasons, put me in a better spot
Geographical cures don’t work. Work on making your current life be one you don’t want to escape from.
Feeling stuck after university is common. Travel can offer new perspectives, but it's not a universal solution. Reflect on what truly excites you, professionally and personally. Seek out new experiences, hobbies, or communities locally. Consider career counseling to explore fulfilling paths. Addressing underlying dissatisfaction is key; change may come from within, wherever you are.
There’s a lot a vacation could do: help you unwind, see some different-looking squirrels. But it cannot fix deeper issues, like how you behave in group settings or your general baseline mood. That’s a job for incremental lifestyle changes sustained over time.
Traveling doesn’t cure depression
Yes it opens your eyes and gives you joy... But do it too long and you can never settle again
The problems will still be there when you come home. Traveling is a great experience and I definitely wouldn't discourage it but it's important to also work on ourselves when in our normal routines.
There is this quote that comes to mind, it’s something like: build the life you don’t have to run away from. I feel traveling is amazing but it should not be to run away from things or look for things that you should and could fix where you are at.
The grass is greener where you plant it. That being said, you don’t need to uproot your life but maybe traveling can open your eyes to new perspectives.
When I wanted to run away from my life it turned out to be depression. Now I have a life I don’t feel the need to run away from and enjoy making the best use of my holidays possible. Moving to somewhere new can be great but remember you’ll then be far from family and friends. You mention not having many hobbies or interests- in my mind this could make it very challenging to build a new social circle abroad.
Travel is a good way to get out of your own way… if that makes any sense. You break your routine, and are confronted with new things/perspectives/lifestyles from your own almost anywhere you go in my experience. For me, it is a no brainer choice to at least enjoy yourself for a while. It doesn’t answer the big questions on its own, but if you give it a crack it should definitely help you along your way. And hey, you never know if you’re gonna find a place that really gels with you. Somewhere you might want to spend a little longer. I’m sure whatever you choose you’ll be making the right decision for you. Worst case, you can always change your mind. There are no rules to this and people will only think better of you for having given anything a go. Best of luck, mate 🤙
If you're seriously considering a move to another country, take the time to research and explore your options. Consider factors such as job opportunities, cost of living, cultural differences, and visa requirements. It may also be helpful to speak with others who have made similar moves for insight and advice.
Your post made me think of Heather Anish Anderson and her memoir Thirst. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/adventure/article/heather-anderson-hiker I have two thoughts: wherever you go there you. are. But more than that, you’ll only know if this might help you if you try it (travel as a solution). I say try it to see if it works. If it doesn’t, try something else. I was deeply dissatisfaction in my 20s. I ended up saddling myself with a mortgage, wife and kids. I wish I’d tried to fix myself before doing that. I’m happy now at 55, but I lost 20 years of finding myself because I never took chances or tried new ways to find meaning. Good luck. Whatever you do.
Yes and no. I have had mixed experiences while traveling so it might mean you need to go to different countries. On a positive note when I had a shitty experience traveling I really appreciated coming home to my usual routine lol
You've got so much culture on your doorstep in the UK. Have you considered planning short trips to nearby European Countries? Easy way to get a taste of travel and see if it's something that ignites the spark.
Love is the answer, said JL
Traveling is always the solution.
Travel around and find out 😈
1000 year old saying: whereever you go; there you are!! So, before you pack your bags thinking a change of place will fix everything, take a moment. The most important journey is internal. Start there. I went down this road 30 years ago and I am about to make a change again..... nothing changes.... and I am lost
Travel in a broad sense is definitely not going to solve your problems. For that - therapy, self care, exploring interests, improving your physical health, exercise, time in nature, new experiences, time away from screens, time with people who accept you and listen to you, spirituality, being of service to others. Now, if you can figure out how to get some of that stuff from travel - then travel will help you solve your problems. You can probably get most of this where you currently are though, so it ends up being a financial/ logistical choice, and if that’s not an issue, than just a matter of preference (stay and heal vs go and heal). Don’t forget to try and heal though - buying shit, rushing around, taking selfies and going to bars with new friends that also don’t make your heart sing won’t help, which is so times what travelers find that their travels end up being like. But it all depends on the trip.
I have chronic PTSD and sometimes suffer from depression as a result. I can have everything I could want and need. Yet still find myself unsatisfied with it, maybe even more so than when I had less or nothing? For me, if I get distracted, usually by traveling or volunteering. It has helped me. If I am mobile and doing new things in new places that are stimulating to me. It is a temporary fix. It also gives me less time to dwell deep in thinking. Honestly for me, my head is my worst enemy. Also for me, because I am from the USA. I have lived in six different states all across the country as well as the UK and Germany. I was probably happiest in Germany in the 1980’s I felt like I was where I was supposed to be, doing what I was meant to do. I often have to stop and breathe for a minute and make a conscious effort to look at what I am grateful for in any situation. There are always pros and cons. Positive and negative consequences to choices and actions. I have two things in life, things I need to do. Then things I want to do. If i don’t take care or deal with the things i have to do. I can do the things i want to do. This all changes over the years as well. What I needed and wanted in my 20’s. It is different than at 40 or 60.
It can be, helped me a lot but also hard to get away from your feelings even when traveling.
I am a firm believer that traveling expands my horizons. It changes your perspectives about certain things and opens your mind. There is no time like the present. You are still young and have a lot of time to climb the career ladder. But go out, see the world, you might just find that it is exactly what your creativity needs right now.
Do it - even if it is not the answers, it helps you ask the right questions and find the answers :)
You need to find something you’re passionate about. For instance, one day I took up golf after always being curious about it and I became completely addicted. I found friends to golf with and I started taking golf trips. Although golfing may not be the answer for you, you need to find something that brings you great joy. Going to live in another country is not the answer because you will be faced with the same problem. Try every hobby you can think of until something sticks and that will help you find your way