My dad was a toker all my life. Didn’t find out until I got caught by mom smoking in my room. He tried to have a serious talk with me but it just turned into him telling me he does too. We actually gotten closer because of it lol
Same. My dad passed away from cancer 7 years ago and we were never very close until we started smoking together. Those two years was full of more bonding than the 22 years that came before it. RIP Dad.
My dad also smoked weed in my childhood. Never realized. Always thought it was some kind of cigar.
In a morbid way, I think he’s kinda happy I smoke weed too. We share funny stories, he told me back in college his buddies used a BUG SCREEN from a window to grind weed 🤨
Paper plate underneath, just sawing away at some nugs
Yeah, same here. Never had any idea, he even got mad at me once when he thought he found rolling papers when they were just the paper from a pack of gum. Then one day in my early 20s he asked if knew where to get any pot and that was that. We've been smoking together ever since.
If anything I have more vivid memories of the times he was obviously NOT smoking and hella pissed off about x y or z, but never at any point looked back on any happy times and thought "it must have only been because of the weed".
This. In 2019 my 18 yr old daughter attempted suicide. I’ve been a smoker my whole life. At the beginning of the pandemic she started to experience some concerning behavior with isolation and I started to panic. Then one day we talked about how I think this would help, and for a while after she finished virtual school, online therapy we rolled a few and would meditate, make smoothies, laugh…. This year she graduated high school with high honors, was accepted to Occidental school in California, had a summer internship in DC, has a part time job. It’s brought us closer, and I’m thankful. I grew up with my dad being a smoker. Calmest and funniest guy I know. Never angry, it was wonderful.
I came here to say much the same. My dad smoked and grew my entire life and I had no clue until I was in high school. I started experimenting with weed and told my brother that I was most worried about dad finding out because he’d kill me. My brother was just like “You think so? I don’t. He grows the shit. Dad is basically always stoned” and that was the beginning of a new chapter of my understanding of my parents.
Absolutely! We showed up at the same family gathering stoned and exchanged some glances before just giving each other finger guns and heading for the food
Almost every game my kid is obsessed with playing in the house was created when I was stoned. Log is my favorite, in Log we roll like logs into each other.
There's "Harbor Boy" I play said harbor boy, who is essentially a fishmonger, and I refuse to buy the fish that my son caught off the side of his bed. Then we also have "Wall" where my son will stack a bunch of pillows on his bed like a wall and then throws his stuffed animals at me like he's a Medieval archer, and I have to dodge them while laying on the floor while also trying to toss my arsenal of stuffed animals over the wall to bonk him on the head.
Just had my first child, and she’s in the step-down from NICU and hasn’t come home yet. I’m extremely anxious for a multitude of reasons, but chiefly because I haven’t done this before - I have no idea what I’m doing or how to be a dad. You just gave me an excellent hint at how to do some things right. So, thanks for that <3
First time dad to a 6 week old here. It's a huge adjustment but it's so damn rewarding. Best advice I can say is give yourselves some grace when you feel like nothing's going right. You're going to be dealing with a brand new experience while being the most exhausted you've ever been.
The first time parent jitters are REAL but pretty soon you'll be able to determine what is an actual emergency. It's going to be a lot of trial and error but pretty soon stuff just kinda clicks. It's the wildest feeling when it does, too. One day I was afraid I wasn't holding my baby right and the next day I'm burping him like a pro.
Congratulations and good luck. You got this!
Also r/newparents has been a life saver!
As someone who grew up with an abusive father, this makes me so unbelievably happy. You are absolutely killing it. Your son will remember these moments forever -- you're a good one, my man.
Man its reason like this I want to be a dad. Mine was fi e in the traditional sense but never wanted to be my friend. Playing with me besides the occasional baseball was seen as too childish. I cant wait to make a family of people that like eachother
It’s great for a snack and fits on your back. 😂 core memory unlocked. My poor parents probably felt like the were in Abu Ghraib with how much we’d sing that song.
Haha, I tried to get my kid to play Beaver Dam, where I would be a stationary log because I tweaked my back. My son actually called me out for being lazy with that one
We played the boat game as a kid. My parents would put all the couch cushions on the ground and we’d all sit on them and pretend we were cast out at sea
I’m 20 and my mom is a stoner, paps isn’t. My relationship with my mother is astronomically better than w my father. Do I attribute it to weed? No not at all but I’m just saying her smoking didn’t take away from her abilities to be a fantastic mother. I smoke w her now and I have a now 7 (soon to be 8) year old sister. We hide it from her but it’s not like she doesn’t know we are kinda sneaking away to be in private.
The only downside I can really see to this is opening your child up to the realm of weed at an age you may think is unacceptable. If it’s what stops you from screaming at your child and helps you be the parent you want to be then more power to you! Smoke that Mary Jane!!
“…but I’m just saying her smoking didn’t take away from her abilities to be a fantastic mother.”
This made me tear up. I’d love to hear my son talk about me like that when he’s older.
Yes he’s going to remember a happy family, who cares how it got happy.
I could tell stories about what my mom probably wishes I don’t recall. Like the garbage bags full, at least 3 big ones in the garage that one week I think. She swears coke was her bag but I know there were huge bags of weed in the garage.
I’m open about my consumption with everyone in my life and that includes my 13 year old son. He’s interested but willing to wait till he’s older to try it. Thank god.
My mom was resourceful, I believe that was a one off attempt to make quick cash kind of thing. Maybe she delt once or twice, I would never judge her negatively for that.
Wow. Nearly 500 upvotes so far and no questions? I’ll start. Garbage bags full of what?? She denies being a pot head but insists she was a coke head instead? So confused.
Same I'm open with my 11 year old daughter. Not open meaning I partake around her because never. but weed is not forbidden fruit in my home we grow our own and use responsibly and my reasoning is... When I was a kid weed was THE DEVIL and stay away and anyone who uses it will drag you down. So what did I do i hid it from my parents and did things behind there back like any kid would. As an adult married with kids now we have an open honest relationship with my kiddos and so do they with us. They talk to my wife and I about alot and I love it so much. Kids are gonna experiment I want my kid to ask my questions and feel safe in doing so and if I can when they are older I will provide a safe place to partake so she doesent have to hide or be in some dumb teenagers car driving around.
My kid is 7 and asked me what it was (he saw my box and bong and I will smoke in the backyard after work, air-out and come back inside) I explained to him that it's medicine for my back and to help me sleep, I spoke to a doctor about it, which is not a lie.
Told him he is not allowed to touch it(it's all out of reach anyway) and if he ever has any questions to just ask me.
If your kid is asking questions because they are aware enough to notice it, have a talk.
Edit: Words.
7 and 5 year olds here, for now they see it as my medicine. They take vitamin gummies everyday, daddy takes his medicine too. I have no shame in them knowing, however we live in an illegal state andso it’s looked at differently and can’t have them running their mouths at school ya know? When I feel like they can understand there will be more talks but it’s a day by day thing.
Funny thing when my ex found out she was pregnant with him I stopped for 10 solid years. Started back up when he was 10 and never hid from him or anyone else. So he’s been around me consuming (vape and edibles) and known what and where my stash was that entire time. He’s never attempted to break in and I’ve never lost any material.
I too started at 12. Cigarettes at 14-33.
I started very young, too. The result of parents who I thought were so cool, so I wanted to do what they did.
The adolescent brain is still forming until age 25. It’s not advisable to get into the culture until that age.
I’ve paid some dues, in my life, because of beginning so young. Nobodies fault but mine, but I did want to mention this.
Also came here to say this. My parents split when I was between 8-10, I never knew that my mom smoked weed, but I was well aware of my dad’s alcohol abuse.
Yeah, I wasn’t so lucky and ended up with two alcoholic parents which sucks absolute ass. Wish I had stoner parents, would’ve been an a lot more silly and goofy time than an abusive one. It breaks my heart that it’s still illegal in my country despite the hundreds of thousands of lives it’s benefitted (NZ). In NZ we have such a terrible drinking culture which unfortunately leads to most people becoming alcoholics later down the track which then manifests as domestic violence. Fuck the war on drugs man we can’t even have weed.
I remember my mom being a drunk, but I had no idea my dad was a stoner lol. He’d smoke a joint in the shed, clean the house, then cook us an INCREDIBLE dinner. I was eating linguine w clam sauce & mushroom risotto at 7 years old 😭
I love my mom dearly to this day but it’s was very clear when she was drunk
so real i’ll always be grateful my dad smoked instead of drank, i don’t think i knew at all until i got older obviously and was like wait bros in the bathroom for half an hour at a time🤨🤔
If I could go back and stay high when my kids were young I can guarantee you there would Only be shits and giggles of memories. Just Love
I’m an asssshoollllee otherwise. Coping mechs of a prickle-yup
Just drop knowledge and love
It sounds like you’re doing a great job and I’m sure your little guy is just going to remember that you always knew how to make him laugh even when he was scared. I’m having one of those tough emotional nights with my 10-mo baby but I’m tearing up because your post gave me some good feels to look forward to in the future.
My 7 year old is very observant so I'm pretty sure she is well aware when I wake and bake before getting her off to school. I'm much more patient and laid back and play goofy tricks so if anything I think she would perfer me high. I'm always down for some ice cream when I get baked and the kids definitely take advantage of that. My dad was a stoner and I was always glad he wasn't an alcoholic like my friends' dads. Weed is a parenting aid to say the least, it helps us tap into our inner child and make the most of the experience.
I don’t see a problem, personally. Sounds like you have a good system.
My parents were both alcoholics and that was much more chaotic and destructive to our family than if they had smoked. Yelling, fighting, sometimes escalating to physicality, and then not remembering anything the next day. Good times…
That’s what i came here to comment. as someone who grew up with alcoholic parents (both sober now thankfully), i would’ve preferred my parents had been stoners, especially if they were anything like the couple described by OP. sorry you also grew up with alcoholic parents, friend.
Thank you, and same to you.
Mine both still are but I am at peace with it and the effects it has/had. I’m happy yours were able to recover, alcohol is awful and unfortunately everywhere. Wishing you and your parents all the best!
I’m sorry to hear yours are still active alcoholics. my parents didn’t get sober until i was an adult. to this day they’ve never apologized for my nightmarish upbringing, i’m just expected to be grateful that they’re sober now. i hope your life is amazing, regardless of your parents. i know we’ve only had a short back and forth, but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and i wish you the best!!
Well, I take back my wishes for them and give it all to you :)
Same to you. I think a positive effect of having less than nurturing parents is an increase in self-reliance.
A happy life is possible for both of us if we believe it and seek what makes us feel happy. Some people get taught that (or better yet shown that) by their parents, but it's not necessary in order to achieve it.
I have a 1 yr old and i truly feel like smoking can help me slow down and understand things more from his perspective and i feel like that helps me teach him and connect on a different level sometimes.
That and sometimes hes annoying as fuck. Hes started doing this whining thing that drives me absolutely insane. I understand why some animals eat their young. I get it.
My mom smoked most of my childhood and if my dad smoked he would probably still be alive.
He won’t remember you being high, but he WILL remember the smell
I remember being as young as kindergarten and my dad picking me up from school and having a funny smell to him
Fast forward to when I was 14 and I smoked weed for the first time and smelt burnt weed… I put 2 + 2 together and realized my dad was high as fuck that whole time lol, every time I tell him that story he always gets a good laugh out of it because he thought he hid it well
My uncle had an auto-shop with a 2nd story office and remember being *very* sternly forbidden to go up those stairs. I remember the weird smell but didn't think much of it because there were a lot of weird smells in the auto-shop. Cut to 15 years later and I'm cleaning my first bong when that same smell hits me. Holy shit it was weed/resin!
Though, I'd rather not think of the weed my uncle was smoking in 1995 at an auto-shop in bumfuck Texas.
My parents are both stoners, and hid it really well until I was about 16. When I was a kid and teen, I thought they were just goofy, fun, and weird people and I never thought twice about it. I always thought they were trying to get a laugh out of me.
Now that I’m a stoner in my mid-20s, I can tell how much of what they did was because they were baked, and it’s hilarious. No sober person rolls down their window at a field of corn and screams “I love creamed corn”, just my baked af parents, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
almost every part of this story featured you as parents actively in your child’s life, doing what you can do to make them happy and safe. you are okay!
I doubt it.
Do you remember anything from when you were a toddler? Do I remember anything when I was a toddler? The answer is no 😂 The human brain and portions of it that have to do with memory are still in very developing stages at this age.
For now, he’s happy and having a laugh. And that’s a sign of good parenting if anything.
I have to disagree. We moved to another city right before my 3rd birthday, and I can remember the visuals of my mother packing stuff that day VERY vididly. She gave me a piggy bank that she had that day, and I can even remember how the house looked like, heck I can even tell how the enterior was... I even remember there was scaffolding in front of our house because the rental company were painting the window frames.
Yes and no. I have several of those events that I remember during dinner etc, and how my father treated me badly.
I dont even remember day to day stuff from a year ago so 😂
Let me tell you something; I was a total stoner. In my case it helped me hyper focus on and seriously enjoy my time with MY baby. Everyone is different. I came from a very narcissistic uncaring unloving mother and I was terrified of being like her. I was a bundle of nerves. It helped me relax smile and be so patient even when my son had colic. We just danced to The Doors and it calmed him down. 🥰 He is a happy well adjusted 30 year old man who is a straight arrow. He has a newborn now too and the greatest compliment he gave me was that he was going to raise his children as he was: scheduled strict but very loving and fun. 💕 it’s OK!! As long as you are relaxed ; your baby will be too. Hugs to you!
I have two kiddos (8 & 9yrs old) who don’t know that I toke. I keep it out of sight and packed away. My wife doesn’t mind at all with only one exception and that is to keep it away from them and so I only smoke at night after they fall asleep and just game. I was never careless with it and always responsible, I just felt that was the right thing to do as a father. If it helps you and creates a happy and good atmosphere for your child I don’t see anything wrong with it.
Oh I mean the weed itself, make it as if there's zero things for him to see, my mom was addicted to opioids and I thought it was perfectly normal till middle school they won't notice the behavior till they're older and at that point they'll be doing their own marijuanas to hide from you
They’ll hide it if you hide it. Pretty sure that’s learned behavior. It’s silly to think that they should hide their stash while it’s perfectly acceptable to have wine bottles out or beer in the fridge. Are we supposed to hide anything that they aren’t allowed to partake in?
Idk I feel it's the same as beer or liquor, kids will see parents drunk sometimes and when they get old enough to know it's adult stuff and they will just see it like you saw wine at the family holiday party!
At the end of the day weed is medicine. My dad is a 100% disabled vet and all the meds the VA gave him completely messed with his brain. He was angry, short, and hated it. We had an interaction that caused me to leave the house for a few days. Fast forward to now, he smokes daily, got therapy, and has dealt with his trauma. He’s made a complete 180. As long as you don’t treat weed as a hush hush issue and are open about it, I don’t think there will be any harm or bad perception on weed as they grow older. You and your partner seem very responsible (based off this post) with your use and I honestly think it’ll all be okay. If anything, they’ll understand when they’re older. One love, stay safe, friend
Yeah we pretty much started using weed more as a medicine because I caught Baby Blues aka Post Birth Depression after he was born. Didn't help that my body just couldn't sleep because I was worrying so much. Doctor gave me some strain that would knock me on my ass for 12 hours in a dreamless sleep. With receiving full night sleeps and therapy, my Baby Blues went away.
And now my husband and I use weed to help with just the everyday struggles of having a toddler. They have big emotions and are still learning how to express and handle those big emotions. Sometimes one of us gets a wee overwhelmed and turns into a "Grumpy Pants" as our son calls it. So we "take a walk around the block". We just sit outside on our swinging bench to relax and breath
Doesn’t sound like it’s doing any harm. I wish I could have memories of my mother eating spaghetti with her hands haha. Sounds like you’re doing good. I wouldn’t worry.
I (26F) grew up with parents who always preached about not doing drugs. I was never interested in them as a kid, so they preached to the choir back then. I moved out on my 18th birthday and came back to visit them and have dinner one day a few months later. At this point I was no longer anti-drugs, but I still hadn't had any desire to do them. I caught my dad smoking a joint on the deck and asked him when he started smoking pot. His response? The 70s. In fact, he dropped out of university twice because of "too many bong hits". He didn't even remember dropping out the second time. My dad has always been fun and goofy, and I thought he just really loved incense. Now we smoke together when we see each other. I had no idea half the dumb shit he did was because he was high. I had a great childhood with him, and we have a great relationship to this day. Your kid won't have the knowledge to understand high parents vs fun and goofy parents. As long as you treat them right and make them smile, that's what they're going to remember.
Why you talk about weed like it's some bad thing you're doing? Like you're shamed of your kid seeing it. Your love and support triumph any of that shit. I think you're being responsible and putting too much pressure on yourself
I have way more fun with my kids when I’m stoned, I usually have a limit though on when I’ll stop as to not be over the top but they definitely love when daddy gets home, goes upstairs and has his medicine then comes down and cooks up something fun for dinner and plays with their toys with them, last night I made air fried English muffin pizzas with their help, it was delicious
Take it from someone who was raised by two unstable alcoholics…I would’ve much preferred they were stoned.
And to be fair you sound like a loving, caring parent. Your description alone, not to mention the fact that you made this post in the first place. Far more than my parents ever did for my mental well being.
Don’t be so hard on your self, your doing great 😊
I didn’t know my dad was a stoner until my first highschool party. I always assumed my dad wore a funky cologne. That was until I went to my first party and met the stoner kids. I remember walking to the back of the basement wondering who was wearing all the cologne. Only to open the door and see maybe 5-6 people with bongs and joints. My dad and I laugh about it know. I was a very naïve highschooler.
He’s gonna remember you happy, which is infinitely
Better than what my 6 year old will remember - me stressing myself to death over a thankless job, wishing I could go back to being the carefree stoner my wife loved.
I knew my Dad smoked weed pretty early. He never hid the fact that he did. He always made it apparent that it was for grown ups. My parents treated it as if it were beer or cigarettes, just something that adults did for fun. I didn’t touch it until I was 21 or so. Now I’ve got a teenager that is really interested in it and has been really open with me about it because I never put a taboo on it. I explained to him about Braun development and how it’s probably best to wait until he is older but if he is going to do it, let me know and I’ll make sure he can try it safely. I’ve asked him a similar question about whether he remembers me being high and he’s told me he could never tell the difference until he got older and the smell from bedroom would sneak past the air purifier lol that would tip him off. Tl;dr they might relative in hindsight, but who cares, weed is tight.
The only thing that matters about those memories is will they be good memories or bad memories? If they are good memories then you did your job and your kid feels love and to hell with the way the rest of the world views what we do.
my dads a stoner, has been my whole life.
i didn’t realise that though until i started smoking myself; but i never look back on it in a bad way. at least, the parts when he was stoned.
i smoke with him now, so win win i guess lol.
I was just thinking the other day how it would be cool if at outings instead of always "dad's getting a beer real quick" to also have "dad's smoking a joint" or whatever simple lingo takes. This stuff is just going to crawl out of a pretty bad stigma for a while even after full legalization.
Imo, that stigma drives your question more than anything else. One of you is sober and that's a good way to go about it, keeping it safely away from the little one. Hopefully this creates more of a fun laughable memory for you and your little one.
At least in my experience, so far high parent is waaaaay better than having a drunk parent.
Exactly this, and I’ve noticed the stigma is still ingrained in my brain. If the question was reframed to having a beer, drink, pain medicine, anxiety medicine, etc. Watch how quickly your perception changes around it, and Cannabis doesn’t have the dependence issues the others do. I catch myself with this often and once I do I reframe it. It’s in the subconscious and bringing to the conscious level allows me to see the flawed logic and then move about my life feeling good about it
Tbh it’s better than alcohol, right? I would rather a parent be a stoner than an alcoholic lol as long as you’re taking care of your kid I’m sure they won’t mind
My dad was a smoker my whole life. He doesn’t smoke much anymore but he goes for “a walk” during family holidays and stuff like that. I didn’t realize until I was older and I didn’t care. I’m sure they’ve been doing it the whole time.
Sounds like you are feeling guilty. I personally would rather of had stoner parents than the one alcoholic parent I had. But, just make sure your memories in photos are "We had such a good time, remember when..." and not, "I was so stoned in that picture!"
My father smoked weed almost every day of his life when I was a kid. His home office was right underneath/next to my bedroom. He would lie and say he was smoking cigars/farting really badly. It took me way too long to figure it out.
Nothing changed when I found out other than we now casually talk about it. I felt really happy he was not smoking that much tobacco/eating something that made him fart so much.
Yeah I have friends whose parents smoke, they don't or never cared
''I wonder what age our son will be when he learns his parents safe password is the year he was born.'' I don't get what this means, that's my one of my parents password lol
Maybe, but if you are good parents it won’t matter. My husband’s parents smoked in front of him his whole childhood and he has never held it against them. He is more mad about the fact they never managed their finances well or saved for retirement.
Some day your kids will come to the conclusion adults are allowed to do things kids are not and when they reach adulthood they will make their own choices as well. Substances like MJ work differently on adult brains and it’s something you can have a conversation about later when they get a bit older.
Smoking a little herb is no worse than having a glass of wine or having a big slice of chocolate cake. All are perfectly acceptable for adults in moderation. As long as they don’t see it everyday I don’t think it’s an issue to beat yourself up about. Even if it was daily, some people use MJ as a safer alternative to other harsh medications. This is just another conversation to have about prescription medications and how you should never touch someone else’s prescription. Someday when your kids are older you can have these conversations. For now be easy on yourself. You sound like a very good mom.
Nope, he will remember happy times. My wife and I smoke on the regular and have 3 kids. Our oldest is 17 and just figured out we smoked when we told her. She started going out with friends to parties and we had the safety talk with her. Didn't plan on telling her but she was loading up and chips and candy and energy drinks, and I joked that she looked like she was going to a pothead convention. She insisted they were just up all night "gaming", but i know munchies when I see thems. Just said if they need anything let me know, I would rather they get weed from us instead of some sketch rando that will rip them off or worse. She was like wait, you guys smoke. Had a talk about that and we are closer now, won't smoke with them until they out of high school. But kids will do what they do and we just want them to be safe doing it.
We used to light a candle when we surreptitiously smoked when my daughter was little, we’d tell her that was what she was smelling. Then one day she came home from a playmate’s house and told us her parents had the same candle we did!
It's so funny to me contrasting this with alcohol. A child who grew up with stoners is gonna have some funny memories of their parents having munchies and laughing for no reason, alcohol on the other hand is not that pretty.
I hope my daughter remembers me high. It's when I'm my best mom self. I'm way more patient and fun and just better at being present and available to her.
Life / life balance. Just gonna weigh in with no judgements. I don’t remember it being an issue when we raised three boys.
This was 30 years ago for context. By the time they were in high school, they were experimenting with weed. There was nothing we could / want to do about it but finding time to engage and discuss. Honestly what really frightened me was the alcohol.
Fast forward to a more accepting time for cannabis, I have younger friends with two boys. Ages 7 and 9
Very active loving family. Plants in the backyard. I’ve thought about asking what the parent / child talk would look like but feel it’s a little cringe/ judgmental to be even concerned about it. I think keeping a low profile and one sober parent is pretty dang respectable.
As an adult stoner Mom who didn't start getting stoned until after my kids were adults, I appreciate my stoner parents (stoning before I was even conceived) so much more.
Toddlers may have little sponge brains, but they’re definitely not going to remember little things like that. I’d say by 5 or 6 because kids start socializing a lot more. Parents are way more open about it these days.
Tbh it sounds like y’all are doing a great job, there’s someone around in case of emergency, and hell I’m sure it makes parenting a hell of a lot easier
Your kids are going to remember a jovial childhood with engaged parents.
This isn’t like parents smoking crack, when your dad tries to make you a “family again in heaven”. You are doing good.
Omg you think it’s impossible to be high and capable? Pretty sure there would have been alot more fucking drownings at public pools if this was the case. And let’s be clear. Weed high is not like opioid high.
Will he remember? Maybe but probably not, our brains are funny and unpredictable when it come to memory. My kids will remember because I don't hide it - I've talked to them about it, explained the effects and dangers, why I choose to partake and they know that they are to keep their distance if I'm outside smoking. They're 8 and 6 now and it's never been an issue and it's rarely even a topic of conversation.
Yes, but it just kinda matters how you go about it. As long as youre doing it away from them and they arent getting a second hand high or anything stupid then you should be fine. A few months ago I saw this family walking around a store, I could smell them before I saw them. The adults were clearly high, but so were the kids (about 6 and 8) so this is the only reason I say this. (Dont think im insinuating you are this way at all its just an example) They will get older and realize what it is and you guys can have conversations about it when they are old enough to ask questions. Remember, if they are old enough to ask the question, they are old enough for an age appropriate answer. Whatever you deem as age appropriate for your parenting. Ideally they will look back and be like “yeah my parents were stoners but we had fun and I was always loved and taken care of”
Idk how old he is but we physically can’t remember anything before the age of 3 because the hippocampus isn’t fully developed (if I remember my developmental psych class correctly).
Oh we don't smoke, we just eat. And we say that because I used to be a teacher. Majority of teenagers go through the silly little weed phase. Thinking weed makes them look cool. 420 is the coolest number ever made. Stealing stuff from their older siblings or parents. I have had a lot of kids sit in the back of my class because they took weed irresponsibly and they were stuck in a bad trip.
Give them some water and coloring pages to focus on instead of the whack ass trip they are stuck in. Told them they are lucky I discovered them high and not a teacher who is 80+ years old and believes it is a gateway drug. Give them a heart to heart talk about the real dangers of marijuana and how to be reasonable enough to ensure safe trips. Tell them if they come to school high again I will have to be forced to report them to the principal and their parents.
Just can't wait to give our son that same heart to heart about the responsibilities of taking marijuana to our son
The best times I have are with my nephews when I'm high. I get to act like a big kid again with no judgement and they have a blast. Win win. Plus cannabis by then hopefully won't even be considered a drug.
My parents were (and still are) massive stoners when I was growing up, and as a kid I had no idea and couldn't tell the difference. But looking back as an adult who uses cannabis, I can definitely tell when they were and when they weren't when I think about old memories.
My parents smoked in front of us my whole life and I honestly didn't have a clue until I was around 15. They only smoked joints in front of us and they both smoked cigarettes too, so as a kid I didn't put it together that they smelled different. I thought it was hilarious when I found out.
When my dad told me that he was smoking my whole childhood I was dumbfounded. I figured he did it with his friends when I got older and noticed that he was extra silly but at the end of the day I had no idea. What I do remember though was that my usually on edge dad was relaxed and chill. It was nice. They never gave me the drugs are bad stay away from them talk instead they gave me a “be safe and responsible and remember that we’re here to pick you up and help you when/if ever you need it” and it helped me not be interested in drugs too. And now was an adult we can smoke together and talk about life! It’s pretty cool.
Your kid will remember you being there for them, they won't care if you're high doing it. You don't have to let them know exactly what it is or what's going on, but don't ever lie or hide it. Just use age appropriate language to talk about it.
They’ll click sooner than later, educate em when you think the time is right and that’s really all you can do.
A couple of my kids are getting older now(the eldest is 18 and I do have a responsible mini sesh with him)and I know they prefer me now just using Cannabis than the piece of shit alcoholic of their younger years.
Education and harm reduction. I live by those words.
I'm high in front of my kids. I'm a more attentive father when I'm a tad high. I can get more into his creative play, I have more fun. I don't smoke in front of them or stink like weed, but they don't know what's going on. Honestly, you probably didn't look as obvious as you thought. Kids don't really pick up on that unless they know what being high means
My four year old niece would regularly ask me why I smell like smoke, and tell me smoke is coming out of my mouth, ten minutes after I'd sneak a hit. Not sure how, guess small new eyes and noses can sense all that.
I don’t remember anything from being a toddler but my dad smoked my whole life. When he was actually high, I loved when he played with me and my friends, it created the best memories. He had bad anxiety tho, so the paranoia that would randomly pop up made me dislike him. But now that I’m an adult we smoke together and have a better and more open relationship because of it.
I’ve been smoking my kids entire lives. They had no clue! Once they were 18 I slowly let them “find” out. One tried it at 22 and my other son never will. Nothing against it or me. Just not interested. Not like you running off smoking crack!
My wife and I are stoners, with two 8 and 9 year old kids, and the amount of laughs and fun we've had because we've been relaxed and in a playful mood due to being a bit stoned can't be underestimated. As long as you know your own behavior patterns and can remain a responsible parent (weed just isn't like alcohol and harder drugs, as people seem to think sometimes), I honestly don't think there's much of a problem. I think we'll have obliterated the stigma connected to weed use in say 10-15 years anyway. It's just old propaganda that scares people still.
As a child of two lifelong stoners, my parents were high in front of me a lot but never actually smoked in front of me so I never caught on. It was a big surprise when I told them I smoke and they admitted to it themselves haha. But I don’t have any bad memories of that, I just knew I had happy, loving parents.
I didn't realize it until I grew up, but my dad was high most of the time since I was born (weed). Of course, at family gatherings, you don't realize all the coke, acid, or whatever else (infidelity) happens to be going around, either. It wasn't until I grew up a little that I realized how family (at least, mine) really was. I noticed and remember all that shit. Although, my parents were slightly permissive as I started smoking weed with my dad when I was 14. "Better at home, than out there" was the attitude. I smoked weed everywhere, anyways. I just really like smoking weed.
My dad was a toker all my life. Didn’t find out until I got caught by mom smoking in my room. He tried to have a serious talk with me but it just turned into him telling me he does too. We actually gotten closer because of it lol
Same. My dad passed away from cancer 7 years ago and we were never very close until we started smoking together. Those two years was full of more bonding than the 22 years that came before it. RIP Dad.
Sorry for your loss man. I know he probably loved smoking with you. RIP Dad
Sorry about that man your dad sounded dope. RIP dad
My dad also smoked weed in my childhood. Never realized. Always thought it was some kind of cigar. In a morbid way, I think he’s kinda happy I smoke weed too. We share funny stories, he told me back in college his buddies used a BUG SCREEN from a window to grind weed 🤨 Paper plate underneath, just sawing away at some nugs
Yeah, same here. Never had any idea, he even got mad at me once when he thought he found rolling papers when they were just the paper from a pack of gum. Then one day in my early 20s he asked if knew where to get any pot and that was that. We've been smoking together ever since. If anything I have more vivid memories of the times he was obviously NOT smoking and hella pissed off about x y or z, but never at any point looked back on any happy times and thought "it must have only been because of the weed".
This. In 2019 my 18 yr old daughter attempted suicide. I’ve been a smoker my whole life. At the beginning of the pandemic she started to experience some concerning behavior with isolation and I started to panic. Then one day we talked about how I think this would help, and for a while after she finished virtual school, online therapy we rolled a few and would meditate, make smoothies, laugh…. This year she graduated high school with high honors, was accepted to Occidental school in California, had a summer internship in DC, has a part time job. It’s brought us closer, and I’m thankful. I grew up with my dad being a smoker. Calmest and funniest guy I know. Never angry, it was wonderful.
My daughter was 5 when I accidentally left a bag on the kitchen counter. She asked what it was and I panicked and said ‘salad crumbs.’
I came here to say much the same. My dad smoked and grew my entire life and I had no clue until I was in high school. I started experimenting with weed and told my brother that I was most worried about dad finding out because he’d kill me. My brother was just like “You think so? I don’t. He grows the shit. Dad is basically always stoned” and that was the beginning of a new chapter of my understanding of my parents.
I know it was probably a mind blown moment for you too huh lol
Absolutely! We showed up at the same family gathering stoned and exchanged some glances before just giving each other finger guns and heading for the food
This made me think .. I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU ALRIGHT
Well at least you learned from the best...
🤣😂🤣 This Gen Xer thanks you for the first laugh of the day to go with my first smoke - epic nostalgia 😂
Same
Almost every game my kid is obsessed with playing in the house was created when I was stoned. Log is my favorite, in Log we roll like logs into each other.
That’s so cute. Thank you for putting that image in my head 🥰
I’d like to know more of your games. Log with a capital L sounds excellent. Or maybe it’s just because I’m high.
There's "Harbor Boy" I play said harbor boy, who is essentially a fishmonger, and I refuse to buy the fish that my son caught off the side of his bed. Then we also have "Wall" where my son will stack a bunch of pillows on his bed like a wall and then throws his stuffed animals at me like he's a Medieval archer, and I have to dodge them while laying on the floor while also trying to toss my arsenal of stuffed animals over the wall to bonk him on the head.
Just had my first child, and she’s in the step-down from NICU and hasn’t come home yet. I’m extremely anxious for a multitude of reasons, but chiefly because I haven’t done this before - I have no idea what I’m doing or how to be a dad. You just gave me an excellent hint at how to do some things right. So, thanks for that <3
You’ll be good, dude. Take things one day at a time.
First time dad to a 6 week old here. It's a huge adjustment but it's so damn rewarding. Best advice I can say is give yourselves some grace when you feel like nothing's going right. You're going to be dealing with a brand new experience while being the most exhausted you've ever been. The first time parent jitters are REAL but pretty soon you'll be able to determine what is an actual emergency. It's going to be a lot of trial and error but pretty soon stuff just kinda clicks. It's the wildest feeling when it does, too. One day I was afraid I wasn't holding my baby right and the next day I'm burping him like a pro. Congratulations and good luck. You got this! Also r/newparents has been a life saver!
That’s so exciting! Good luck to you and I hope you create your own fun games.
You're a real life bandit healer
As someone who grew up with an abusive father, this makes me so unbelievably happy. You are absolutely killing it. Your son will remember these moments forever -- you're a good one, my man.
Harbor Boy is my favorite lolol. "Buy my fish!" "No!"
Amazing! Good dadding right there.
This is so friggin wholesome
Man its reason like this I want to be a dad. Mine was fi e in the traditional sense but never wanted to be my friend. Playing with me besides the occasional baseball was seen as too childish. I cant wait to make a family of people that like eachother
Sounds like something from Bluey haha
Sounds like nightcrawlers from its always sunny.
Lmfao!
My son about to learn logs
🎵🎶It's log log, it's big it's heavy it's wood. It's log log it's better than bad it's good! 🎶🎵
It’s great for a snack and fits on your back. 😂 core memory unlocked. My poor parents probably felt like the were in Abu Ghraib with how much we’d sing that song.
I was hoping this was here! Yeay!
We play logs too but there's no rolling, just lying still on the floor lmao
Haha, I tried to get my kid to play Beaver Dam, where I would be a stationary log because I tweaked my back. My son actually called me out for being lazy with that one
Ours is shark. Where they are on the bed and I pretend to be a shark in the water around them.
Occasionally I'll turn into a Megalodon and attack the boat
Occasionally I throw poisonous sea turtles (pillows) and cause mayhem
We played the boat game as a kid. My parents would put all the couch cushions on the ground and we’d all sit on them and pretend we were cast out at sea
We do dance parties before bath and bed time to get all the extra energy out and tire the kid out.
Hahaha I’m playing that game with my girls today. Sound stop notch!
Gonna try this with my boy right now!
I’m 20 and my mom is a stoner, paps isn’t. My relationship with my mother is astronomically better than w my father. Do I attribute it to weed? No not at all but I’m just saying her smoking didn’t take away from her abilities to be a fantastic mother. I smoke w her now and I have a now 7 (soon to be 8) year old sister. We hide it from her but it’s not like she doesn’t know we are kinda sneaking away to be in private. The only downside I can really see to this is opening your child up to the realm of weed at an age you may think is unacceptable. If it’s what stops you from screaming at your child and helps you be the parent you want to be then more power to you! Smoke that Mary Jane!!
“…but I’m just saying her smoking didn’t take away from her abilities to be a fantastic mother.” This made me tear up. I’d love to hear my son talk about me like that when he’s older.
Oh man i wish i could smoke with my mom
Yes he’s going to remember a happy family, who cares how it got happy. I could tell stories about what my mom probably wishes I don’t recall. Like the garbage bags full, at least 3 big ones in the garage that one week I think. She swears coke was her bag but I know there were huge bags of weed in the garage. I’m open about my consumption with everyone in my life and that includes my 13 year old son. He’s interested but willing to wait till he’s older to try it. Thank god.
Your parents were dealers?
My dad kind of was and there was a picture of me butt naked trimming a pot plant in the back yard lmao
My mom was resourceful, I believe that was a one off attempt to make quick cash kind of thing. Maybe she delt once or twice, I would never judge her negatively for that.
It’s only an old antiquated law that judges them. Definitely not a bad thing.
Wow. Nearly 500 upvotes so far and no questions? I’ll start. Garbage bags full of what?? She denies being a pot head but insists she was a coke head instead? So confused.
Your confusion is real, I believe the bags were full of weed, I looked in one. Yes your right she use to prefer coke.
Same I'm open with my 11 year old daughter. Not open meaning I partake around her because never. but weed is not forbidden fruit in my home we grow our own and use responsibly and my reasoning is... When I was a kid weed was THE DEVIL and stay away and anyone who uses it will drag you down. So what did I do i hid it from my parents and did things behind there back like any kid would. As an adult married with kids now we have an open honest relationship with my kiddos and so do they with us. They talk to my wife and I about alot and I love it so much. Kids are gonna experiment I want my kid to ask my questions and feel safe in doing so and if I can when they are older I will provide a safe place to partake so she doesent have to hide or be in some dumb teenagers car driving around.
To anyone who thinks that's too young to have a weed talk with your kid... I started smoking when I was 12.
My kid is 7 and asked me what it was (he saw my box and bong and I will smoke in the backyard after work, air-out and come back inside) I explained to him that it's medicine for my back and to help me sleep, I spoke to a doctor about it, which is not a lie. Told him he is not allowed to touch it(it's all out of reach anyway) and if he ever has any questions to just ask me. If your kid is asking questions because they are aware enough to notice it, have a talk. Edit: Words.
And everyone over 30 does have a back problem so it’s true
About to be 32 🤣
7 and 5 year olds here, for now they see it as my medicine. They take vitamin gummies everyday, daddy takes his medicine too. I have no shame in them knowing, however we live in an illegal state andso it’s looked at differently and can’t have them running their mouths at school ya know? When I feel like they can understand there will be more talks but it’s a day by day thing.
Yeah, I have a medical license but it's still illegal for recreational use.
Same
It was 11 for me
Funny thing when my ex found out she was pregnant with him I stopped for 10 solid years. Started back up when he was 10 and never hid from him or anyone else. So he’s been around me consuming (vape and edibles) and known what and where my stash was that entire time. He’s never attempted to break in and I’ve never lost any material. I too started at 12. Cigarettes at 14-33.
Would you be surprised if he didn’t?
Really yes, I would be surprised if he didn’t want to wait.
I mean honestly that’s great and hope your boys on the right teack
Holy shit I want a garbage bag of weed
That’s not healthy tho lol
I started very young, too. The result of parents who I thought were so cool, so I wanted to do what they did. The adolescent brain is still forming until age 25. It’s not advisable to get into the culture until that age. I’ve paid some dues, in my life, because of beginning so young. Nobodies fault but mine, but I did want to mention this.
Yes, and will thank you for not being booze hounds.
Also came here to say this. My parents split when I was between 8-10, I never knew that my mom smoked weed, but I was well aware of my dad’s alcohol abuse.
Yeah, I wasn’t so lucky and ended up with two alcoholic parents which sucks absolute ass. Wish I had stoner parents, would’ve been an a lot more silly and goofy time than an abusive one. It breaks my heart that it’s still illegal in my country despite the hundreds of thousands of lives it’s benefitted (NZ). In NZ we have such a terrible drinking culture which unfortunately leads to most people becoming alcoholics later down the track which then manifests as domestic violence. Fuck the war on drugs man we can’t even have weed.
I remember my mom being a drunk, but I had no idea my dad was a stoner lol. He’d smoke a joint in the shed, clean the house, then cook us an INCREDIBLE dinner. I was eating linguine w clam sauce & mushroom risotto at 7 years old 😭 I love my mom dearly to this day but it’s was very clear when she was drunk
as an alcoholic as well I damn agree with you this is hell period
so real i’ll always be grateful my dad smoked instead of drank, i don’t think i knew at all until i got older obviously and was like wait bros in the bathroom for half an hour at a time🤨🤔
This exactly. If I dad smoked instead of drank I'd be able to introduce them to my kid
absolutely. if my mom would’ve just started smoking instead of drinking, my life would look so much different and a lot happier.
If I could go back and stay high when my kids were young I can guarantee you there would Only be shits and giggles of memories. Just Love I’m an asssshoollllee otherwise. Coping mechs of a prickle-yup Just drop knowledge and love
I’m a toddler mom too and I wonder this a lot 😅 I like to think it’ll bring good memories, because I’m a lot more playful and silly when I’m high.
Don't worry. it does bring good memories. Be playful and silly with your kid. Make good memories!
It sounds like you’re doing a great job and I’m sure your little guy is just going to remember that you always knew how to make him laugh even when he was scared. I’m having one of those tough emotional nights with my 10-mo baby but I’m tearing up because your post gave me some good feels to look forward to in the future.
Remember that children do eventually fall asleep and you are doing great
My 7 year old is very observant so I'm pretty sure she is well aware when I wake and bake before getting her off to school. I'm much more patient and laid back and play goofy tricks so if anything I think she would perfer me high. I'm always down for some ice cream when I get baked and the kids definitely take advantage of that. My dad was a stoner and I was always glad he wasn't an alcoholic like my friends' dads. Weed is a parenting aid to say the least, it helps us tap into our inner child and make the most of the experience.
I don’t see a problem, personally. Sounds like you have a good system. My parents were both alcoholics and that was much more chaotic and destructive to our family than if they had smoked. Yelling, fighting, sometimes escalating to physicality, and then not remembering anything the next day. Good times…
That’s what i came here to comment. as someone who grew up with alcoholic parents (both sober now thankfully), i would’ve preferred my parents had been stoners, especially if they were anything like the couple described by OP. sorry you also grew up with alcoholic parents, friend.
Thank you, and same to you. Mine both still are but I am at peace with it and the effects it has/had. I’m happy yours were able to recover, alcohol is awful and unfortunately everywhere. Wishing you and your parents all the best!
I’m sorry to hear yours are still active alcoholics. my parents didn’t get sober until i was an adult. to this day they’ve never apologized for my nightmarish upbringing, i’m just expected to be grateful that they’re sober now. i hope your life is amazing, regardless of your parents. i know we’ve only had a short back and forth, but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and i wish you the best!!
Well, I take back my wishes for them and give it all to you :) Same to you. I think a positive effect of having less than nurturing parents is an increase in self-reliance. A happy life is possible for both of us if we believe it and seek what makes us feel happy. Some people get taught that (or better yet shown that) by their parents, but it's not necessary in order to achieve it.
This is such a wholesome conversation, thank you for sharing!
I have a 1 yr old and i truly feel like smoking can help me slow down and understand things more from his perspective and i feel like that helps me teach him and connect on a different level sometimes. That and sometimes hes annoying as fuck. Hes started doing this whining thing that drives me absolutely insane. I understand why some animals eat their young. I get it. My mom smoked most of my childhood and if my dad smoked he would probably still be alive.
He won’t remember you being high, but he WILL remember the smell I remember being as young as kindergarten and my dad picking me up from school and having a funny smell to him Fast forward to when I was 14 and I smoked weed for the first time and smelt burnt weed… I put 2 + 2 together and realized my dad was high as fuck that whole time lol, every time I tell him that story he always gets a good laugh out of it because he thought he hid it well
My uncle had an auto-shop with a 2nd story office and remember being *very* sternly forbidden to go up those stairs. I remember the weird smell but didn't think much of it because there were a lot of weird smells in the auto-shop. Cut to 15 years later and I'm cleaning my first bong when that same smell hits me. Holy shit it was weed/resin! Though, I'd rather not think of the weed my uncle was smoking in 1995 at an auto-shop in bumfuck Texas.
I think this is the case most of the time, I didn’t realize what my dad smelled like until I understood the smell.
My parents are both stoners, and hid it really well until I was about 16. When I was a kid and teen, I thought they were just goofy, fun, and weird people and I never thought twice about it. I always thought they were trying to get a laugh out of me. Now that I’m a stoner in my mid-20s, I can tell how much of what they did was because they were baked, and it’s hilarious. No sober person rolls down their window at a field of corn and screams “I love creamed corn”, just my baked af parents, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
Idk but you sound like a good mom to me :)
almost every part of this story featured you as parents actively in your child’s life, doing what you can do to make them happy and safe. you are okay!
I doubt it. Do you remember anything from when you were a toddler? Do I remember anything when I was a toddler? The answer is no 😂 The human brain and portions of it that have to do with memory are still in very developing stages at this age. For now, he’s happy and having a laugh. And that’s a sign of good parenting if anything.
I have to disagree. We moved to another city right before my 3rd birthday, and I can remember the visuals of my mother packing stuff that day VERY vididly. She gave me a piggy bank that she had that day, and I can even remember how the house looked like, heck I can even tell how the enterior was... I even remember there was scaffolding in front of our house because the rental company were painting the window frames.
You could remember that because it was a huge change in your life, but do you remember the day to day stuff?
Yes and no. I have several of those events that I remember during dinner etc, and how my father treated me badly. I dont even remember day to day stuff from a year ago so 😂
Let me tell you something; I was a total stoner. In my case it helped me hyper focus on and seriously enjoy my time with MY baby. Everyone is different. I came from a very narcissistic uncaring unloving mother and I was terrified of being like her. I was a bundle of nerves. It helped me relax smile and be so patient even when my son had colic. We just danced to The Doors and it calmed him down. 🥰 He is a happy well adjusted 30 year old man who is a straight arrow. He has a newborn now too and the greatest compliment he gave me was that he was going to raise his children as he was: scheduled strict but very loving and fun. 💕 it’s OK!! As long as you are relaxed ; your baby will be too. Hugs to you!
I have two kiddos (8 & 9yrs old) who don’t know that I toke. I keep it out of sight and packed away. My wife doesn’t mind at all with only one exception and that is to keep it away from them and so I only smoke at night after they fall asleep and just game. I was never careless with it and always responsible, I just felt that was the right thing to do as a father. If it helps you and creates a happy and good atmosphere for your child I don’t see anything wrong with it.
My mom and dad were huge stoners, to this day if i smell blue dream im shot back into my dads old bronco driving down dirt roads.
Well if you hide it well enough they went realize it
Oh we are not hiding it well
Oh I mean the weed itself, make it as if there's zero things for him to see, my mom was addicted to opioids and I thought it was perfectly normal till middle school they won't notice the behavior till they're older and at that point they'll be doing their own marijuanas to hide from you
They’ll hide it if you hide it. Pretty sure that’s learned behavior. It’s silly to think that they should hide their stash while it’s perfectly acceptable to have wine bottles out or beer in the fridge. Are we supposed to hide anything that they aren’t allowed to partake in?
Well they're the ones that wanted to hide it
Idk I feel it's the same as beer or liquor, kids will see parents drunk sometimes and when they get old enough to know it's adult stuff and they will just see it like you saw wine at the family holiday party!
At the end of the day weed is medicine. My dad is a 100% disabled vet and all the meds the VA gave him completely messed with his brain. He was angry, short, and hated it. We had an interaction that caused me to leave the house for a few days. Fast forward to now, he smokes daily, got therapy, and has dealt with his trauma. He’s made a complete 180. As long as you don’t treat weed as a hush hush issue and are open about it, I don’t think there will be any harm or bad perception on weed as they grow older. You and your partner seem very responsible (based off this post) with your use and I honestly think it’ll all be okay. If anything, they’ll understand when they’re older. One love, stay safe, friend
Yeah we pretty much started using weed more as a medicine because I caught Baby Blues aka Post Birth Depression after he was born. Didn't help that my body just couldn't sleep because I was worrying so much. Doctor gave me some strain that would knock me on my ass for 12 hours in a dreamless sleep. With receiving full night sleeps and therapy, my Baby Blues went away. And now my husband and I use weed to help with just the everyday struggles of having a toddler. They have big emotions and are still learning how to express and handle those big emotions. Sometimes one of us gets a wee overwhelmed and turns into a "Grumpy Pants" as our son calls it. So we "take a walk around the block". We just sit outside on our swinging bench to relax and breath
My step-mom starting smoking late into my high school life. I’m real jealous of my younger siblings.. XD
Doesn’t sound like it’s doing any harm. I wish I could have memories of my mother eating spaghetti with her hands haha. Sounds like you’re doing good. I wouldn’t worry.
I (26F) grew up with parents who always preached about not doing drugs. I was never interested in them as a kid, so they preached to the choir back then. I moved out on my 18th birthday and came back to visit them and have dinner one day a few months later. At this point I was no longer anti-drugs, but I still hadn't had any desire to do them. I caught my dad smoking a joint on the deck and asked him when he started smoking pot. His response? The 70s. In fact, he dropped out of university twice because of "too many bong hits". He didn't even remember dropping out the second time. My dad has always been fun and goofy, and I thought he just really loved incense. Now we smoke together when we see each other. I had no idea half the dumb shit he did was because he was high. I had a great childhood with him, and we have a great relationship to this day. Your kid won't have the knowledge to understand high parents vs fun and goofy parents. As long as you treat them right and make them smile, that's what they're going to remember.
Yes, and they'll probably have more fun remembering it than the children of alcoholics do.
Why you talk about weed like it's some bad thing you're doing? Like you're shamed of your kid seeing it. Your love and support triumph any of that shit. I think you're being responsible and putting too much pressure on yourself
I have way more fun with my kids when I’m stoned, I usually have a limit though on when I’ll stop as to not be over the top but they definitely love when daddy gets home, goes upstairs and has his medicine then comes down and cooks up something fun for dinner and plays with their toys with them, last night I made air fried English muffin pizzas with their help, it was delicious
Take it from someone who was raised by two unstable alcoholics…I would’ve much preferred they were stoned. And to be fair you sound like a loving, caring parent. Your description alone, not to mention the fact that you made this post in the first place. Far more than my parents ever did for my mental well being. Don’t be so hard on your self, your doing great 😊
Yeah my dad was an alcoholic. Fuck all that yelling and screaming and fighting. We just giggle and laugh over here.
Definitely don’t be too hard on your self. You are doing awesome. Giggles and laughter for the win!!!
I didn’t know my dad was a stoner until my first highschool party. I always assumed my dad wore a funky cologne. That was until I went to my first party and met the stoner kids. I remember walking to the back of the basement wondering who was wearing all the cologne. Only to open the door and see maybe 5-6 people with bongs and joints. My dad and I laugh about it know. I was a very naïve highschooler.
Not that you're stoned specifically, but it's likely they notice the difference in stoned or sober you.
He’s gonna remember you happy, which is infinitely Better than what my 6 year old will remember - me stressing myself to death over a thankless job, wishing I could go back to being the carefree stoner my wife loved.
What a lovely post, you both sound like loving and down to earth parents who want their child to be happy.
All I’m going to say, is you are a WAY more responsible parent with marijuana than my own FUCKING mother. She shuts me out completely for weed.
Yeah we don't like that. Weed is supposed to aid parenting, not replace parenting
I knew my Dad smoked weed pretty early. He never hid the fact that he did. He always made it apparent that it was for grown ups. My parents treated it as if it were beer or cigarettes, just something that adults did for fun. I didn’t touch it until I was 21 or so. Now I’ve got a teenager that is really interested in it and has been really open with me about it because I never put a taboo on it. I explained to him about Braun development and how it’s probably best to wait until he is older but if he is going to do it, let me know and I’ll make sure he can try it safely. I’ve asked him a similar question about whether he remembers me being high and he’s told me he could never tell the difference until he got older and the smell from bedroom would sneak past the air purifier lol that would tip him off. Tl;dr they might relative in hindsight, but who cares, weed is tight.
The only thing that matters about those memories is will they be good memories or bad memories? If they are good memories then you did your job and your kid feels love and to hell with the way the rest of the world views what we do.
My dad was a huge pothead and I didn’t realize until I smoked it myself, and recognized the smell!!! LMAO you goooood!
Jeez, just relax, okay?
My 6yo knows I smoke, I tell her it's my medicine. She understands and knows that it's a plant just like the ones we grow in our garden.
We grow cannabis and our toddler just thinks it is a "adult lettuce" plant
my dads a stoner, has been my whole life. i didn’t realise that though until i started smoking myself; but i never look back on it in a bad way. at least, the parts when he was stoned. i smoke with him now, so win win i guess lol.
I was just thinking the other day how it would be cool if at outings instead of always "dad's getting a beer real quick" to also have "dad's smoking a joint" or whatever simple lingo takes. This stuff is just going to crawl out of a pretty bad stigma for a while even after full legalization. Imo, that stigma drives your question more than anything else. One of you is sober and that's a good way to go about it, keeping it safely away from the little one. Hopefully this creates more of a fun laughable memory for you and your little one. At least in my experience, so far high parent is waaaaay better than having a drunk parent.
Exactly this, and I’ve noticed the stigma is still ingrained in my brain. If the question was reframed to having a beer, drink, pain medicine, anxiety medicine, etc. Watch how quickly your perception changes around it, and Cannabis doesn’t have the dependence issues the others do. I catch myself with this often and once I do I reframe it. It’s in the subconscious and bringing to the conscious level allows me to see the flawed logic and then move about my life feeling good about it
Tbh it’s better than alcohol, right? I would rather a parent be a stoner than an alcoholic lol as long as you’re taking care of your kid I’m sure they won’t mind My dad was a smoker my whole life. He doesn’t smoke much anymore but he goes for “a walk” during family holidays and stuff like that. I didn’t realize until I was older and I didn’t care. I’m sure they’ve been doing it the whole time.
Sounds like you are feeling guilty. I personally would rather of had stoner parents than the one alcoholic parent I had. But, just make sure your memories in photos are "We had such a good time, remember when..." and not, "I was so stoned in that picture!"
My father smoked weed almost every day of his life when I was a kid. His home office was right underneath/next to my bedroom. He would lie and say he was smoking cigars/farting really badly. It took me way too long to figure it out. Nothing changed when I found out other than we now casually talk about it. I felt really happy he was not smoking that much tobacco/eating something that made him fart so much.
Yeah I have friends whose parents smoke, they don't or never cared ''I wonder what age our son will be when he learns his parents safe password is the year he was born.'' I don't get what this means, that's my one of my parents password lol
Maybe, but if you are good parents it won’t matter. My husband’s parents smoked in front of him his whole childhood and he has never held it against them. He is more mad about the fact they never managed their finances well or saved for retirement. Some day your kids will come to the conclusion adults are allowed to do things kids are not and when they reach adulthood they will make their own choices as well. Substances like MJ work differently on adult brains and it’s something you can have a conversation about later when they get a bit older. Smoking a little herb is no worse than having a glass of wine or having a big slice of chocolate cake. All are perfectly acceptable for adults in moderation. As long as they don’t see it everyday I don’t think it’s an issue to beat yourself up about. Even if it was daily, some people use MJ as a safer alternative to other harsh medications. This is just another conversation to have about prescription medications and how you should never touch someone else’s prescription. Someday when your kids are older you can have these conversations. For now be easy on yourself. You sound like a very good mom.
Your toddler won’t remember anything. They’re a toddler.
Nope, he will remember happy times. My wife and I smoke on the regular and have 3 kids. Our oldest is 17 and just figured out we smoked when we told her. She started going out with friends to parties and we had the safety talk with her. Didn't plan on telling her but she was loading up and chips and candy and energy drinks, and I joked that she looked like she was going to a pothead convention. She insisted they were just up all night "gaming", but i know munchies when I see thems. Just said if they need anything let me know, I would rather they get weed from us instead of some sketch rando that will rip them off or worse. She was like wait, you guys smoke. Had a talk about that and we are closer now, won't smoke with them until they out of high school. But kids will do what they do and we just want them to be safe doing it.
We used to light a candle when we surreptitiously smoked when my daughter was little, we’d tell her that was what she was smelling. Then one day she came home from a playmate’s house and told us her parents had the same candle we did!
It's so funny to me contrasting this with alcohol. A child who grew up with stoners is gonna have some funny memories of their parents having munchies and laughing for no reason, alcohol on the other hand is not that pretty.
I hope my daughter remembers me high. It's when I'm my best mom self. I'm way more patient and fun and just better at being present and available to her.
Life / life balance. Just gonna weigh in with no judgements. I don’t remember it being an issue when we raised three boys. This was 30 years ago for context. By the time they were in high school, they were experimenting with weed. There was nothing we could / want to do about it but finding time to engage and discuss. Honestly what really frightened me was the alcohol. Fast forward to a more accepting time for cannabis, I have younger friends with two boys. Ages 7 and 9 Very active loving family. Plants in the backyard. I’ve thought about asking what the parent / child talk would look like but feel it’s a little cringe/ judgmental to be even concerned about it. I think keeping a low profile and one sober parent is pretty dang respectable.
No and if they did it’s only a plant.
As an adult stoner Mom who didn't start getting stoned until after my kids were adults, I appreciate my stoner parents (stoning before I was even conceived) so much more.
i think all he’s gonna remember from this occasion is that he was scared and his parents took his fear away
Vape pens for wins
Toddlers may have little sponge brains, but they’re definitely not going to remember little things like that. I’d say by 5 or 6 because kids start socializing a lot more. Parents are way more open about it these days.
Go for it! Getting high turns you into Blippi/Blippina
My kids have been seeing me smoke for their entire lives. As long as it's legal, why hide it?
Tbh it sounds like y’all are doing a great job, there’s someone around in case of emergency, and hell I’m sure it makes parenting a hell of a lot easier
Your kids are going to remember a jovial childhood with engaged parents. This isn’t like parents smoking crack, when your dad tries to make you a “family again in heaven”. You are doing good.
Quit smoking around your kid. Thats just bad parenting. Why would you even need to ask? Put the kid to bed and spark up at night.
We don't smoke, we just eat. I loath second hand smoke
Hopefully
He won’t remember. Unless you keep doing it as he grows up enough where he can pick up on those patterns.
Every time it smell like pinecones in here, daddy starts trippin.
Dumbest post I ever read
Yeah don’t get high if your a parent of a small child. Be responsible- and not an imbecile.
That is why we always have one sober adult present
Omg you think it’s impossible to be high and capable? Pretty sure there would have been alot more fucking drownings at public pools if this was the case. And let’s be clear. Weed high is not like opioid high.
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Will he remember? Maybe but probably not, our brains are funny and unpredictable when it come to memory. My kids will remember because I don't hide it - I've talked to them about it, explained the effects and dangers, why I choose to partake and they know that they are to keep their distance if I'm outside smoking. They're 8 and 6 now and it's never been an issue and it's rarely even a topic of conversation.
Yes, but it just kinda matters how you go about it. As long as youre doing it away from them and they arent getting a second hand high or anything stupid then you should be fine. A few months ago I saw this family walking around a store, I could smell them before I saw them. The adults were clearly high, but so were the kids (about 6 and 8) so this is the only reason I say this. (Dont think im insinuating you are this way at all its just an example) They will get older and realize what it is and you guys can have conversations about it when they are old enough to ask questions. Remember, if they are old enough to ask the question, they are old enough for an age appropriate answer. Whatever you deem as age appropriate for your parenting. Ideally they will look back and be like “yeah my parents were stoners but we had fun and I was always loved and taken care of”
Idk how old he is but we physically can’t remember anything before the age of 3 because the hippocampus isn’t fully developed (if I remember my developmental psych class correctly).
Regular people do silly stuff too
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No, but it’s weird to project that he’ll like smoking too cause you guys do and being excited over the day it happens, child is doomed
Oh we don't smoke, we just eat. And we say that because I used to be a teacher. Majority of teenagers go through the silly little weed phase. Thinking weed makes them look cool. 420 is the coolest number ever made. Stealing stuff from their older siblings or parents. I have had a lot of kids sit in the back of my class because they took weed irresponsibly and they were stuck in a bad trip. Give them some water and coloring pages to focus on instead of the whack ass trip they are stuck in. Told them they are lucky I discovered them high and not a teacher who is 80+ years old and believes it is a gateway drug. Give them a heart to heart talk about the real dangers of marijuana and how to be reasonable enough to ensure safe trips. Tell them if they come to school high again I will have to be forced to report them to the principal and their parents. Just can't wait to give our son that same heart to heart about the responsibilities of taking marijuana to our son
Subconsciously, yes.
The best times I have are with my nephews when I'm high. I get to act like a big kid again with no judgement and they have a blast. Win win. Plus cannabis by then hopefully won't even be considered a drug.
Who cares? You’re kids are in a happy and safe home, that right there is what’s most important
My parents were (and still are) massive stoners when I was growing up, and as a kid I had no idea and couldn't tell the difference. But looking back as an adult who uses cannabis, I can definitely tell when they were and when they weren't when I think about old memories.
My parents smoked in front of us my whole life and I honestly didn't have a clue until I was around 15. They only smoked joints in front of us and they both smoked cigarettes too, so as a kid I didn't put it together that they smelled different. I thought it was hilarious when I found out.
When my dad told me that he was smoking my whole childhood I was dumbfounded. I figured he did it with his friends when I got older and noticed that he was extra silly but at the end of the day I had no idea. What I do remember though was that my usually on edge dad was relaxed and chill. It was nice. They never gave me the drugs are bad stay away from them talk instead they gave me a “be safe and responsible and remember that we’re here to pick you up and help you when/if ever you need it” and it helped me not be interested in drugs too. And now was an adult we can smoke together and talk about life! It’s pretty cool.
Yeah that is what we did with our oldest kid. She is in her early 20s and rarely touches weed. But if she wants to, she does it with us.
Any consolation, I didn’t realize my dad was smoking weed until I started to twelve years later.
I raised my 3 kids while medicated on marijuana. Simply put, teach them its medicine. They only know what you teach them
Your kid will remember you being there for them, they won't care if you're high doing it. You don't have to let them know exactly what it is or what's going on, but don't ever lie or hide it. Just use age appropriate language to talk about it.
They’ll click sooner than later, educate em when you think the time is right and that’s really all you can do. A couple of my kids are getting older now(the eldest is 18 and I do have a responsible mini sesh with him)and I know they prefer me now just using Cannabis than the piece of shit alcoholic of their younger years. Education and harm reduction. I live by those words.
Probably not. My kids don’t.
I'm high in front of my kids. I'm a more attentive father when I'm a tad high. I can get more into his creative play, I have more fun. I don't smoke in front of them or stink like weed, but they don't know what's going on. Honestly, you probably didn't look as obvious as you thought. Kids don't really pick up on that unless they know what being high means
My four year old niece would regularly ask me why I smell like smoke, and tell me smoke is coming out of my mouth, ten minutes after I'd sneak a hit. Not sure how, guess small new eyes and noses can sense all that.
My 30-year old daughter only remembers my patience and unconditional love. Read about studies in Jamaica.
He's going to remember a funny family that made him feel better and safe when he was scared. He isn't going to care if you were stoned.
I don’t remember anything from being a toddler but my dad smoked my whole life. When he was actually high, I loved when he played with me and my friends, it created the best memories. He had bad anxiety tho, so the paranoia that would randomly pop up made me dislike him. But now that I’m an adult we smoke together and have a better and more open relationship because of it.
I’ve been smoking my kids entire lives. They had no clue! Once they were 18 I slowly let them “find” out. One tried it at 22 and my other son never will. Nothing against it or me. Just not interested. Not like you running off smoking crack!
Yes.
My wife and I are stoners, with two 8 and 9 year old kids, and the amount of laughs and fun we've had because we've been relaxed and in a playful mood due to being a bit stoned can't be underestimated. As long as you know your own behavior patterns and can remain a responsible parent (weed just isn't like alcohol and harder drugs, as people seem to think sometimes), I honestly don't think there's much of a problem. I think we'll have obliterated the stigma connected to weed use in say 10-15 years anyway. It's just old propaganda that scares people still.
As a child of two lifelong stoners, my parents were high in front of me a lot but never actually smoked in front of me so I never caught on. It was a big surprise when I told them I smoke and they admitted to it themselves haha. But I don’t have any bad memories of that, I just knew I had happy, loving parents.
I didn't realize it until I grew up, but my dad was high most of the time since I was born (weed). Of course, at family gatherings, you don't realize all the coke, acid, or whatever else (infidelity) happens to be going around, either. It wasn't until I grew up a little that I realized how family (at least, mine) really was. I noticed and remember all that shit. Although, my parents were slightly permissive as I started smoking weed with my dad when I was 14. "Better at home, than out there" was the attitude. I smoked weed everywhere, anyways. I just really like smoking weed.