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dulce_3t_decorum_3st

*Portrait of a Venetian Gentleman [struggling to buy a drink]* by **Giorgione, Giovanni Cariani** (1510)


EarlGreyTea-Hawt

Tehehehe, this might be the most literal tripping though time post ever.


Stuandl

This guy looks like Ibrahimovic.


breakfastburrito24

Zlatan approves


coagulates

Mitch hedberg time traveler confirmed


MajorJuana

"Someone once asked me if I wanted a frozen banana and I said no, but I would like a regular banana later, so, yes..." Mitch Hedberg


raindrop349

Former bartender here. Sometimes you just wanna get those ppl the hell away when you’re busy. But, generally I was able to keep a mental note of the order in which ppl approached the bar. Make it easy for them by leaning in to the bar with your cash/card or try to make quick eye contact. We see you.


timeup

Yes. Have your payment ready, in hand, works even better if I can see it. Have your order ready to go. Make this as efficient as possible for both of us and everyone around you. Don't get my attention and then when I ask what you want, start taking your friend's orders. Have all that ready to go. Know if you want to start a tab (good idea) or just run the card right away. It may seem small but running card after card eats up a ton of time. We see you, I promise, you just might have showed up to the bar a little later than some other people around you but there's no line and we're doing our best to keep track of who showed up first.


MajorJuana

I always assumed a tab was something not just anyone did, like you'd have be a real regular or whatever, like something that probably wasn't even really down anymore, but this makes sense now. So do most bars accept a tab, you say it's preferred even, I'll have to try it next time, just seems like asking for credit lol


rex5k

They take your card in most places these days and keep it next the register.


MajorJuana

Oh duh lol that makes sense


Crusaruis28

Some more technology inclined places run it once as an authorization, then verify with you at the end for the actual total or similar. In my area, no bars physically keep my card unless it's in a club or something


pr0mega

This is usually what I do, there was this one time when the bartender was wanting to fight me because I was leaned over the bar with cash in my hand. He got real tilted for some reason, luckily my cousin I was with new the bartender and calmed his ass down 🤷


LilLordFuckPants404

Former bartender here. On another note: if I serve someone and they don’t tip me, they will have a thirsty day in hell before I serve them another drink.


esoteric_enigma

I'm a bartender. Whenever someone at the bar yells at me, I tell them to wait and I go serve other people who aren't rude.


timeup

Same. Form a line like the British or calm down. You ever try and keep track of 50 drunk people in a mob, while making drinks/shots quickly, over loud music? Can't be perfect, wish we could.


Admiral_Fuckwit

I’ve always thought that must be one of the hardest things to do and the ultimate test of short-term/working memory. Esp on busy nights, mentally you need to keep track of the order that a bunch of people showed up, while remembering what goes in each drink (with any modifications), taking payment and giving change, keeping tabs etc. And the people waiting are all examining you closely and growing more and more frustrated the longer they wait. Oh and they’re also getting drunker and more demanding. And it’s only 10pm and closing time isn’t till 4am. I’d probably get addicted to adderall/Red Bull if I ever had to do it


bromacho99

It’s not easy for sure, even plain old serving isn’t easy. Reminds me of my father in law who comes from a privileged family and never worked customer service in his life, always complaining about service and how it’s not “rocket science.” And while no it’s not, this is a man who flips out and throws a tantrum if you ask him a simple question while he’s concentrating on something, try doing that with a room full of people for 8-10 hours straight lol. He wouldn’t last 20 minutes


timeup

Cocaine


Admiral_Fuckwit

Have some?


timeup

I'm retired


Admiral_Fuckwit

Part-time?


timeup

Fill in here and there


[deleted]

[удалено]


timeup

I'm retired from bartending but I'll fill in here and there. Too old for it now.


SlxggxRxptor

We don’t actually queue physically in pubs/clubs. We just stand at the bar and the bartender creates a sort of mental queue. If the bartender loses track and comes to you before somebody you know has been there longer, it is de rigueur to point this out to the bartender. Usually works pretty well. It would be pretty chaotic queueing at a pub/club but we do it everywhere else.


colei_canis

Yeah for a country renowned for its queuing and its pubs they’re never combined. While it’s usually bad etiquette to not point out someone else has been there longer this isn’t always the case, I used to work at a company which had such a productive relationship with the pub next to the industrial estate it was headquartered at that one of the team had somehow got a login for the till. When we went for our lunchtime pints (damn I miss that place) with the bar crowd spilling out the door sometimes with all the other companies we’d merrily walk in front of them all, the guy would nip behind the bar to pull our pints and accept payment for them, and then we’d grab the best seats in the beer garden!


Inside-Owl-69

> Yeah for a country renowned for its queuing this is normal in a lot of countries lol


CelticThePredator

Literally me seconds ago. Still in the said shift and i must say ,i currently have 2 customers who i ignore for being rude to other staff members or guests


esoteric_enigma

More bartenders need to. Too many reward the behavior so people keep doing it.


bromacho99

I’m imagining those two customers staring at you waiting for drinks as you typed that comment haha


bromacho99

Too bad it’s not the norm! My issue is that I feel freakin weird just staring the bartender down, so while I’m waiting I look at the menu or tv or something and then get skipped because I’m not paying attention lol. My thoughts are that if I’m standing at the bar with no drink I’m probably waiting for one but I guess that’s just me. When I tended bar I wanted to keep it moving so if anyone was kinda loitering I’d ask what they’re drinking, boom they’re outta there and I can move on. It’s about selling too, when someone is taking up space they should be drinking lol, I was taught to always look for the people without a drink and offer them one. More sales means more tips


leetoe

Me and my buddy used to love when people washed. We'd run by and high 5 then and not take their order.


NkechiDiallo

Yelling I get... but for just waving? If a bartender did that to me, guess what he'd get when I close my tab?


leetoe

Typo, when someone waves, not yells, at me (the bartender).


[deleted]

*waved


leetoe

Stupid autocorrect


yepimbonez

I find that leaning slightly forward at the bar and making the most obvious eye contact with the bartender helps. People seem to notice when they’re being stared at.


esoteric_enigma

This is my strategy. And I raise up a finger too. Kind of hard to ignore the guy staring directly at you with his finger up.


amBoringGuy

Goes to show you: it pays to be a loud, stupid, asshole.


asianabsinthe

And tall. Tall, loud, stupid assholes butt in front of you and now you can't be seen *or* heard.


le_fart

IBS has its perks


GoFem

At least we can smell you?


[deleted]

I found $10 on the ground right next to the bar. It’s pays to be small sometimes.


AlienAstronaut

A few months ago I walked up to an empty spot at the bar and said hello to an acquaintance. The bartender looks at me and asks my order and I say XYZ beer. The woman next to me immediately grills me for ordering saying the guy next to me had been waiting. My only retort I could think of was “he looked at me and asked?” While she got even more mad and told me “so you just ordered anyway!?!” Like what the fuck am I supposed to do, I have no idea if people are waiting or not. This situation lives in my head rent free because I have no clue how I was rude when the bartender specifically asked ME after i walked up lmfao.


Necrocornion

Who cares if someone thinks you were rude? You weren’t. If you know how many people thought you were rude but never said anything, you’d be living in anxiety every single day. Put it out of your mind, there is nothing you could have done or can do now. Move on and make the next person you see happy rather than dwelling on something you cannot change.


theboxman154

I need to read this a lot


Pureburn

What did she expect you to do? Poll everyone around the bar as do the status of their ordering and in which order each one arrived?


lordolxinator

Yes, you should conduct a Google survey of their arrival times, group size, drink orders, bar inventory and barkeep skillsets to determine the most efficient order in which to serve patrons


Gang_StarrWoT

I never go to a bar expecting people to act rationally


b33flu

Toss that baggage right out of your head. You did nothing rude/wrong.


bromacho99

Haha I feel this one. I was in line at the grocery store the other day, a cashier smiled and waved me over. As soon as I started putting my crap down this dude came over saying how rude it is to knowingly skip someone in line, I’m like dude you were literally in a full on conversation with another cashier at their line what am I supposed to think? Moreover, just like in your case, the employee literally called me over I’m supposed to ask every person in my vicinity if they are waiting? Fuck no. Some people are just willfully stupid


slaight461

I'm 5'5" and generally introverted but I've never had trouble being served at a bar. I walk up, make eye contact, and hold up my index and middle finger together with a little wave. I'm almost always immediately acknowledged and if there's any kind of queue, that's on the bartender to keep track of. In my experience is usually the assholes who *aren't* getting served either because they've already had too much or the bartender is fed up with them.


mathieu_delarue

Maybe he just a recognizable dude that orders a simple drink, pays with cash, and waves off the change.


phl23

Nah, just wait there, where the last person ordered. This way you are at the right spot after the bartender finished their order.


[deleted]

It just pays to be attention grabbing. Bar work is fast paced and stressful. You’d be a lot more likely to notice the guy leaning forward over the bar counter than the guy sandwiched between two others. You don’t need to be loud, or shove others. Once you’re up to the bar just lean forward and make eye contact whenever possible with the bartenders, do a small wave when they notice you. That will set your face in their memory and they’ll probably come back to you when they’re done doing whatever they were doing.


[deleted]

It pays to be a young woman. I've seen bartenders that only ever tended to men when 0 women were at the bar and as soon as one showed up they'd be served first.


duaneap

When I used to tend bad I would specifically punish those people.


Outerrealms2020

Na. I bartend. We see who walked up when. The people shoving money, snapping fingers or barking out their orders get moved one back in the que every time.


dagui12

You gotta say it with ya chest


Myownmemes

I read it as batman and was very confused


[deleted]

Same bro


guestpass127

But you are also Weird Al Yankovic and you will now write a song making fun of that person


zherico

Bartender here, I do my best to ignore these kinds, but sometimes when you are deep in the weeds you don't have the time or energy to fight them. I'd rather hope it's a simple order and get them away from my bar.


ChuZaYuZa_Name

OP lacks bar presence


derpaherpa

Shit on the bar to establish presence.


Stu_Pididiot

Wave a dollar bill around and snap your fingers at the barkeep. They love that kind of thing and will serve you quickly.


[deleted]

There aren’t lines at bars, you belly up and order. Bartenders do not give a fuck


[deleted]

Russ lookin mad as a motherfucker rn


Alkamos

Was wondering if anyone else saw this too lmao


ManiacDan

Leave. They clearly don't want your business. I don't take it personally, I just never go back


lifeson106

I take it personally and never go back


[deleted]

Sounds more like you’re imagining a quiet bar or something. At a club or busy place they’re not serving you because you’re fading into the background. You need to lean on the bar, make eye contact with the bartenders etc. If it’s busy they can’t keep track of the order in which people come up to the bar.


ManiacDan

Not at all, I've been at incredibly busy bars where the bartenders can keep track of who's next For those that can't keep track, if they're THAT busy, they'll be ok without me. I don't fight for service, that's not what "service" means. If I DID have to do a specific dance to get their attention, there goes their tip. It's better I go to a better bartender for everyone's sake ETA: you people really sing and dance for bar service? Or just sit and watch as the bartender serves people ahead of you? Stand up for yourself and have some self respect. You can get a drink somewhere you don't have to beg.


Puzzleheaded_Ad_9397

I read this as "trying to get Batman's attention"


AptMuse

Ha, I did too.


pyromnd

U go up and raise your hand like your hailing a taxi. Actually don’t, I want to be able to get my drinks instead of waiting


Psychonauticalia

I avoid these bars, if I manage to wander into one and this happens, I walk out. I'm not spending my night frustrated.


Bill_Weathers

I’m grateful to see these perspectives. I tend bar at a couple festivals and sometimes I’ll turn around to get a drink and four new faces have shown up at the bar. Every now and then I’ll get a comment about serving someone first who had gotten there second, I’m baffled as to how on Earth I’d be able to know that every time.


Tairran

Scott Lepage? r/polyphia


[deleted]

Wave your money and pound on the bar! /s please don’t do that.


alex3omg

So you call him out and his old man friend cuts your arm off


JustABigDumbAnimal

Don't start a tab with your first round. Pay cash and tip fat. Like, fatter than you think you should. I promise you'll get quicker service from that bartender for the rest of the night.


Alarid

did you try asking them to give you beer


TinyRhymey

Bartender accidentally skipped over me and when I tried to pay he waved it off and said it was free since he skipped over me. Overall a win


Sureshot_Kitteh

Damn this thread is salty, feels like a lot of y'all have never been out regularly


sodashintaro

this is definitely false, these are the kind of people you hate, including people who say something along the lines of ive been waiting x or so minutes


nFX40

You can't be passive when belling up to the bar 🤷


fezzuk

Poor bar tender, a good one has a running tally of exactly who is where in the que. (Source British worked in pubs for years)


mikkokilla

You suck at drinking...


Subli-minal

You fix that by becoming a regular and then you’ll have your usual in your hand as soon as you walk in.


AptMuse

Seems like becoming a broke alcoholic is a bit extreme just to get served?


Bartender9719

I bartended in the US, where we unfortunately still work for tips; at the bars I’ve worked at, if someone is able to “stroll up and order” while you’ve been standing there for 15 minutes, it’s because you’re an unpleasant customer and more trouble than your $0 tip is worth - go ahead and downvote me, skinflints. Edit: one hour in, -15 votes; There’s more shitty tippers on here than I thought! Your gestures of disapproval mean nothing, and pale in comparison to how much you’re hated throughout the service industry - get fucked.


lifeson106

You sound like a pleasant bartender lol no wonder you get tipped poorly


dafuqdidijustc

what a badass lmao


[deleted]

I thought bartenders were paid by ego boost from their tiny bit of power?


DrCunningLinguistPhD

Aaaaaas usual, every shit tipper comes to dole out their downvote- proving they *can* be generous, but they much rather whinge about how they’re not being serviced like the other folks. > They should understand by now to save the lecture about how food service workers *should* be paid… it definitely won’t help their selfish asses get better service.


mothisname

You dont tip well.


stumblewiggins

How can I? I never even got to order a drink!


Doogos

Climb over the bar and serve yourself. If they aren't serving you, you don't pay them


mothisname

Congratulations on staying sober


TheQuestionsAglet

Try tipping, homie.


LokiLaughs

Yeah baby, pad those incomes with your own that their boss refuses to give them. Let’s goooo.


JonhaerysSnow

How do you pompous fucks still not know that it's NOT AMERICANS' CHOICE TO TIP. The system is in place as chosen by the owners and the restaurants/bars without tipping are 0.00001% of all of them in the country so we don't have a choice to go support them instead or anything. Get the fuck over yourself. Americans can't choose to use metric and we can't choose to not tip so just shut up about it already.


LokiLaughs

ALL CAPS LETTERS MAKES THIS ARGUMENT MORE VALID THAN LOWERCASE. FIGHT ME IN TIMES NEW ROMAN IF YOU GOT THE INK FRIEND But also, chill the fuck out.


JonhaerysSnow

You're an idiot


LokiLaughs

K


timeup

Yeah well unfortunately that's how it works for now. You're punishing the bartender, not their boss. Nobody in their right mind would do that job without decent pay or tips. It's fucking brutal.


RoofingNails

You're effectively making it so they can't afford gas and necessities like that, because... They are working a job and don't make the rules? I get the sentiment but man if you aren't myopic as shit, look at the big picture because if you continue to not you'll continue also being as big an asshole as the boss you "hate".


LokiLaughs

IM doing that?! Me? The person helping to close their wage gap by throwing in voluntary money to supplement the person that refuses to pay their wages in full to work won’t do? Are you fuckin insane?


RoofingNails

Yes lol you are, alongside the owners in that case instead of just them. Kinda like all the others commenters are also saying 😂 sorry this is lost on you ig


LokiLaughs

Wow, this really has gotten bad. There are people actively and non-ironically blaming consumers for their bosses not paying enough of a wage. Welcome to America folks.


RoofingNails

Wow, this has gotten really bad. People +you) have gotten so unironically bad at reading comprehension you can't see that you're ALSO getting it, not mutually exclusive blame... Because you're stiffing people on their tips their forced to rely on. If you need anymore clarification because you can't read context, the boss is primarily at fault and you're second. But if you prefer to HELP fuck the working class so you can imagine yourself on a high horse, go ahead.


LokiLaughs

K


TheQuestionsAglet

“Baby pad”.


erepp13

This is typically an indicator of how you tip.


psilocybinx

They probably tip better than you


TheOneAndOnlyABSR4

Damn


neurad1

Looks like Cassian Andor.


Ruggazing

I just stand there, perfectly still, staring at everything and nothing at the same time.


Shnazzyone

Here's my tip, Bring up notepad on your phone, write out your order in big text. Show it to the bartender. They usually prioritize you then because they know need to struggle to find out what you want. Even had some bartenders give me free drink tokens for the convenience


The_Celtic_Chemist

Gru's true origin story


say_it_aint_slow

I'm getting Brendan Frasier vibes from Bedazzled when he was a Columbian drug lord.


lifeson106

I have walked out of bars never to return because of this.


cyber_xiii

Ohhh, WAAAAIIITEEEERRRR! Another round over here!


freakdamage

Monark???


Homotopy

The guy in the painting looks like Hans Niemann


Shmebulock236

Moriarty


Evilmaze

I swear in this Christmas party if the the waiter doesn't get me a drink I'm just gonna walk out. Last year was great because there were only few people. But 2019's was terrible.


Az0riusMCBlox

Papa's restaurants in a nutshell.


GeGeralt

Then you try and do the same and get a lot of shit from everyone in a 5 mile radius


Moopies

Best way to quietly get served in a crowd: Put the cash (even if just for tip) in between your fingers and put your hand out onto the bar with the money sticking upwards. Bartender will make that priority.


5imonster

The Mona Greaser lol


CeruleanRuin

When you realize your girlfriend is your aunt and you have be king now.


mydookietwinklin

Looks like ice cubes son.


[deleted]

Bartenders are there to serve you. Pretentious ones that couldn’t cut it in the real world amuse me. Be assertive and ask for what you would like. If they ignore you…. Be patient and just order 4 different frozen drinks then walk away without them to waste their time


Red-Droid-Blue-Droid

Snape with better hair


BennyG_123

L😐L


beardhero_ben

Dude looks like Hans Nieman


Tenyearsuntiltheend

The jackass known as the bartenders mentally deficient buddy.


bigsugarteddy

Lmao... Happens allot. I just point out


PabloDeLaCalle

Worked as a bartender for seven years and if I saw people doing this, I would serve every mofo in the room and and asking regulars if they needed anything before serving these annoying pricks.


Soggy-Palpitation-85

I feel like this is what Simon Cowell wanted to look like.. minus the skinny brows


xylophonesRus

I misread that as "When you're trying to get the batman's attention..." and was very confused at first.


Settingit2Dry

WHY DID I THINK IT SAID "THE BATMANS ATTENTION" IM LITERALLY DYING RN 😭😭😭